Date: Sat, 07 Jul 2001 15:06:13 -0700 From: Aaron . Subject: "Watching You Without Me" Ch. 18 The end. The last chapter. I'm not going to say anything because I'm all sad. lol. I'm sappy, I know. Thank you all for sticking with this story to the very end. :) (Look for my new story, coming soon.) *hugs for Nimm & Rorik* "Watching You Without Me" Aaron DeLorean *Chapter Eighteen* _______________________________ "You're already in there, I'll be wearing your tattoo" --Tori Amos _______________________________ Three Weeks Later. Opening tour. Debut. The title of my album was "Tattoo". It was half an ode to A.J., and half a way to describe how I felt half the time: like I was wearing a tattoo of someone else's life. Seattle. My first live performance in five years. I popped a Valium; I was nervous as fuck. Tori burst into the dressing room I was occupying for three nights at the Tacoma Dome. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Tori screamed as she flung the door closed and plopped herself down next to me at the makeup mirror. I looked up from dreading my hair. "Yes hun?" She took a deep breath, "You are NEVAH gonna guess who's sitting front row center!" I closed my eyes. Tori and her yelling were making my even more nervous then I had been before she insinuated herself into the dressing room. "You're right hun, I wouldn't, so tell me. And DON'T scream, you're making me nervous." I chuckled a bit to myself; Tori's enthusiasm had always tickled my tummy. "Sit down." She said. I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Babe, just spill." Her eyes narrowed. "Tori Amos." She said in a completely neutral voice. I dropped the pomade I had been twisting my black cherry locks together with. I flopped back into the salon chair. "But she never goes out to attend anyone's concerts anymore! Not since the incident in 2004 when ANOTHER crazed fan tried to kidnap her." Tori nodded, "I know hun." I shook my head, "But...WHAT is she doing here? There is no way I am THAT good." A.J. burst through the door. "I called her and asked her to come." I dropped the pomade again. My lips were on his in moments. "THANK YOU!" I hollered out. He smiled. "Why you're welcome hun!" We laughed. I finished my hair. Ten minutes to curtain. There was a knock on the dressing room door. I had sent Tori and A.J. out to the Wings to wait for me because I preferred to get ready for performances by myself. I walked across the small expanse of the room and turned the doorknob. The blood left my head in seconds flat. "Hello honey." She said in her quiet, soothing voice. "Alex said it would be alright if I came back to wish you luck." "Um..." I cursed myself inwardly. God damn it. I thought that the first time I ever met her I would actually be able to SPEAK. "Uhhh...oh lord I'm so sorry Ms. Amos, of course it's ok. It's not often that one meets their idol of nine years." She smiled. I felt my cheeks flush red. Fuck, I never blush. "I'm honored. But Christ child, call me Tori." "My best friend's name is Tori." I blurted out without thinking. Tori (the famous one) nodded, "Yeah, I know, I met her last year. Of course, my name really isn't-" I cut her off, "Tori, yeah I know." She smiled surprised. I immediately gasped. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry I cut you off! Fuck, now I'm gonna feel like shit the rest of the night." She laughed. I loved to hear her laugh. It always put me at ease. "That's fine sweetie, don't worry about it." She leaned closer and whispered conspiratorially, "What's your favorite Tori song?" She asked. I laughed loudly. "You know I never thought that Tori fucking AMOS would be asking me what my favorite song was." We both laughed. "Professional Widow" I told her. She nodded, "No one seems to like that song." She frowned. I felt sorry for her. The stage manager popped her head in the door. "Five." She informed me. I nodded and she left. I turned to Tori. "I have so much I want to talk to you about and here I have to go sing!" she smiled warmly. I liked to see her smile. I continued, "So how's Natashya?" She smiled again at the mention of her pride-and-joy. "Oh she's great, she starts kindergarten this fall!" I nodded. Tori continued, "She is having such a wonderful childhood, and it makes me so pleased because that's something I didn't have." She said frowning. I looked in her eyes, "I know Tori, me either." She smiled and took my hand in hers. "You're going to go so far in this business honey, I can feel it. You're grounded." I smiled and said thank you. The stage manager poked her head in again. "Two minutes Mr. Macmillan, please follow me." I said my goodbyes to the Goddess of All Things Musical, and she went to find her seat. Tori (the one that wasn't famous) and A.J. were waiting in the Wings when I shuffled myself out to wait for the curtain. I was doing this tour as more of a musical then a concert. A.J. ran up and hugged me tightly. "I love you so much Aaron!" He yelled out. I threw my head back and laughed happily. "I love you so much too, Alex!" I turned to address A.J. and Tori both, "I love you both with all my heart. Thank you for being a part of me." The curtain rose. My eyes found Nimm and (the famous) Tori as deafening screams assaulted my ears. I smiled widely. The energy swept up and intoxicated me. I walked out onto the stage and sat down behind the Bösendorfer. "Hey guys!" I said into the mic. Scream. "This is my first tour, and I've just been through a very bad time in my life. Certain people helped me get through the dark places, and I could never thank them enough. One of those people helped me through her beautiful music more than she could ever know, and I just met her for the first time tonight in my dressing room. Anyway, I was supposed to open tonight with the title track from the disc, "Tattoo". Well, we're gonna fuck that tonight because I want to sing something else I think you'll enjoy more." Everyone in the audience laughed. I smiled, "You guys are so nice!" Scream. I brought my fingers down to the keys of the piano and the band started. I sang the first line quietly. "Someone's knocking on my kitchen door. Leave the wood outside. All the girls here are freezing cold." I played on and my voice rose as the song progressed. I looked out into the audience. People were here tonight because I had touched them somehow with my music. My songs. Songs I wrote when I thought I couldn't go on any long. Songs I wrote and played millions of times when my heart hurt so bad to be loved that I thought I would die. "You're already in there. I'll be wearing you're tattoo." I looked at Alex. I would not be here now if it were not for him. And not because I wouldn't have gotten a record deal. I would have died. Literally. I loved him more than I could express. The ring on my finger that Nimm had given me those months ago seemed to sing out to me. I smiled as my voice rose and I could feel the ghosts of my past floating away into oblivion. The audience soared into applause as I finished the first song of my new person. I closed my eyes. I was infinitely happy. For the first time in my life, I had no pain. I touched Nimm's ring as I began the next song. The End. For more literature, please visit www.aarondelorean.com