Date: Sun, 27 May 2001 23:24:55 From: Jeff Langdon Subject: Westlife Romance - Chapter 45 Westlife Romance - Part 45 Bryan sat in the bed dumbfounded as the nurse walked over and handed him a cassette tape. "Nicky told you to give me this??" he asked with a confused look. "That's what he said. All he told me was to give it to you," the nurse answered before leaving. Mark took the cassette tape from Bryan's hands and placed it in the cassette player beside the television and pressed "play." There was silence for a few seconds before Nicky's unmistakable voice could be heard. "Hey Bryan...It's me, Nix. Guess you probably know that already...stupid me. I thought this would have been easier than writing it on paper...but I guess I was wrong. First off, I want to apologize to you, Bryan. There are so many things that I have done and said over the past few days that I am not proud of. The way that I treated you despite your unconditional kindness and concern has put me to shame. I cannot believe that I treated you with such disrespect and disregard for your feelings...and this coming from someone who always told people to think about other people's feelings before speaking. God, I'm so sorry, Bryan..." Bryan held Shane's hand tightly as the tape played. He knew Nicky would come around. He just knew it was only a matter of time. "In all the things that has happened, I kept telling myself that the world was unfair to me, yet my response was to take my anger out on you. Even though I acted like an asshole, you showed me nothing but ultimate patience and love. Not only did I take you for granted...I set out to hurt you in all ways possible...as if doing so would bring me back the justice of which I thought I was robbed. Bryan...I'm so sorry for everything. You've been the best friend that anyone could ever ask for...I'm so sorry... Last night, when we were in the alley, it dawned on me what I have put you through. Because of my pride and arrogance, I put your life in danger. I would never have been able to forgive myself if something had happened to you. I'm so thankful that you're alright. Bry, on more than one occasion, you've expressed your love for me. Though I rejected you on all those occasions, I never told you that I only did so because of my own fears. I was scared that I would be hurt again...I was scared that I would let you down. How I wanted to take you in my arms and hold you through the night, Bryan...I've cried myself to sleep wishing for that..." Tears of joy slipped down Bryan's cheeks as he heard those words. Nicky did love him!! "When I saw you lying in the hospital bed, I realized what pain and suffering I managed to inflict on the person that I love. I promised you that I'd always be your best friend, and yet I ended up being the person who hurt you the most. I promised you I'd be there to protect you, yet because of me, you ended up in the hospital. I can't believe what a failure I've been. I don't know how to face you anymore, Bryan. I can't look into your eyes without remembering the hurt and pain that I've caused. I can't deal with my guilty conscience, I just can't. Bryan...I'm a hypocrite. I tell people to face their problems head-on, yet I can't do it myself. In reality, Nicky Byrne is a coward, someone who just runs away from his problems so he wouldn't have to face them. That's why I've decided to leave..." Nicky's voice trembled as he spoke on the tape, and Bryan's face paled as he heard those words. The other lads also listened in stunned silence. "I...I've decided to go back to Ireland. As you're listening to this tape, I'm probably already on my way back to Dublin, where I will submit my resignation from Westlife once I arrive..." "No...no..." Bryan whispered as the tears began to fall faster, while he clenched Shane's hand tightly. "You probably don't think very highly of me right now...and you have every right to do so...I'm a coward...a selfish coward. What else can I say? I'm so sorry, Bryan... Don't bother to look for me in Dublin...once I submit my resignation, I'll probably head off to some place where no one knows who Nicky Byrne is. Please don't cry on my account, Bryan. I'm not worth it...you're the most wonderful person I've ever had the honour and pleasure of knowing. Like I told you before, anyone who could be your boyfriend would be the luckiest person in the world. Forget about me, Bryan...please. There's so much looking up for you, don't stop and dwell on someone like me. As of today, you can start on a clean slate...just pretend that Nicky Byrne never existed, okay? I'll never forget all that you've done for me, Bryan." Bryan buried his face on Shane's shoulder and sobbed with anguish. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. "Why, Shane...why?" he asked through his tears. Shane had no way of answering the question. Looking up at Mark and Kian, they too had tear-filled eyes. "Shane, Mark, Kian...you're probably in the room with Bryan...I'm so sorry for everything that I've put you through. I know that I'm putting you in a bind now, but I'm sure you can find a better replacement for me. I know Westlife can and will achieve bigger and better things in the days ahead. You're all my best friends...and although I would've liked to end things on a better note, you'll always be the most wonderful friends in my mind. Shane, I'm so sorry for the things that I've said. Mark, thank you for being there for me. Kian, you'll always have a special place in my heart. Lads, please take care of Bryan for me. Guess I better get going now...bye lads. Love, Nicky..." Bryan brushed the tears from his face and looked up at Mark. "He can't just leave like this...he can't!!! I need to go to the airport, Mark...I have to go..." "Bryan, you can't go like this...you're in no condition," Shane replied, trying to calm Bryan down. "Fuck my condition!!" he cried, "I have to go to the airport, Shane. I'll go even if I have to crawl there...please Shane!!!" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The buildings passed by as the taxi sped down the expressway. So many things were going through Nicky's mind. "I wonder if Bryan has woken up yet?" he asked himself. "I hope he's going to be alright," he thought. "And this next song," the radio DJ announced, "is a song by an Irish band that is currently touring the country promoting their album. This song reached number one the week it was released in the UK, here is 'If I Let You Go' by Westlife..." "Day after day, time pass away, And I just can't get you off my mind, Nobody knows, I hide it inside, I keep on searching, but I can't find..." ~ Flashback #1 ~ "Mam!!! I made it!!! I'm in!!!" Nicky yelled with excitement as he received news of his acceptance to Westside. "Oh Nicky, I'm so proud of you!!" Yvonne said as she pulled her son into a hug. "Nicky!! You're going to be world famous now!!" Adam exclaimed in excitement. "This is awesome!" ~ Flashback #1 Ends ~ "The courage to show, to letting you know, I've never felt so much love before, And once again, I'm thinking about taking the easy way out..." ~ Flashback #2 ~ "Hey lads," Shane said, "they're announcing this week's number one!!" "And this week's official UK #1...'Swear It Again' by Westlife!!!" "We did it!!!" Bryan exclaimed as he pulled Nicky into a hug. "We're number one!!" ~ Flashback #2 Ends ~ "But if I let you go, I will never know, what my life would be, holding you close to me, will I ever see, you smiling back at me, How will I know, if I let you go..." ~ Flashback #3 ~ "I love you so much, Nicky," Kian said as he kissed Nicky on the cheek. "I'll never stop loving you..." "I love you, Kian...I can't believe how lucky I am," Nicky said through his tears of joy. ~ Flashback #3 Ends ~ "Night after night, I hear myself say 'Why can't these feelings just fade away?' There's no one like you, you speak to my heart It's such a shame, we're worlds apart..." ~ Flashback #4 ~ "Why should I know? You didn't tell me anything!!" Kian asked, frustration clearly etched on his face. "Well, Kian, maybe I will tell you what's wrong..." Nicky said bitterly. "What is wrong is that my boyfriend, the person that I trusted with all my heart, has been lying to me all along, telling me that he loved me and then turning around and fucking with some other man. THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME...ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??" ~ Flashback #4 Ends ~ "I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose, But sooner or later I got to choose, And once again I'm thinking about taking the easy way out..." ~ Flashback #5 ~ "Don't let him get to you, Nicky," Bryan said. "There are other people who care so much about you..." Bryan smiled and leaned closer, "...let me love you the way you deserve to be loved." "I'm sorry, Bryan..." he said, turning away. "I can't...I just can't..." "But Nix..." Bryan continued. "Just drop it, ok?" Nicky stammered. "It's not going to work...I...I don't love you..." ~ Flashback #5 Ends ~ "But if I let you go, I will never know, what my life would be, holding you close to me, will I ever see, you smiling back at me, How will I know, if I let you go..." ~ Flashback #6 ~ "I'm not drunk!! I know exactly what I'm doing!!" Kian shouted. "You need to get to sleep, Kian," Nicky insisted as he tried once again to drag Kian back to his room. "Tell me, Nicky. I know you still love me. You said you'll always love me, Nicky. Why are you breaking your promise and fucking with Bryan instead??" "Get the hell out of my room!!" Nicky yelled. Kian drew his face close and he began kissing Nicky. He moved his lips to Nicky's ears and whispered, "Let me give you what Bryan can't ever give you..." With that, Kian grabbed hold of Nicky and dragged him to the bed. He pushed Nicky onto the bed and pinned him down. "Get the hell off of me!!" Nicky hollered amidst his sobs. "See! Bryan is just a boy. What you need is a man, Nicky!!" Before Nicky could react, Kian flipped his legs skywards and next thing he knew, Kian's cock was penetrating him. "NO!!!!" Nicky cried out in agony. ~ Flashback #6 Ends ~ Tears streamed down Nicky's face as the song continued playing. The tears soon turned to sobs, so much so that the driver turned around to ask if Nicky was alright. Assuring the driver that everything was fine, the taxi continued to head towards the airport. ~ Flashback #7 ~ "Nicky, don't shut yourself out. I hate seeing you like this, Nix," Bryan pleaded. "That's just too bad, Bryan. Things don't always go your way," Nicky answered sarcastically. "One of these days you have to grow up and quit being the spoiled brat that you've been all your life!!" Shane stepped up to Nicky and they stared at each other. Shane was fuming and everyone could see it. "Don't you ever talk like that to Bryan again, Nicky. You're way over the line!!" "Awww, is Shane upset for little Bryan?" Nicky taunted. "Well, maybe you can go fuck him then, since he's so desperate for a fuck buddy." "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?" Shane fumed. Mark and Kian had to restrain Shane as he exploded. "SAY IT AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU, BYRNE!!" Nicky stood there and smiled, bemused at how angry Shane was. "Fine, Filan. I'll tell you again. I said, why don't you and Bryan go and fuck each other, 'cause he is so desperate for a fuck buddy." Turning to Bryan, "And Bryan. Know when to give up. I'll never love you. I'm way out of your league." ~ Flashback #7 Ends ~ ~ Flashback #8 ~ "Hang in there, Bryan..." Nicky pleaded. "You have to make it to the hospital. You'll be okay. Just hang in there!!" ~ Flashback #8 Ends ~ Nicky buried his face in his hands and sobbed. "Oh Bryan...I love you so much..." he whispered. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * After finally getting the doctors to allow for Bryan's discharge, the taxi carrying the four Westlife lads sped towards the airport, breaking every speed limit and every traffic regulation. Bryan had offered four times the regular fare to the driver for this trip. "Well?" Bryan asked as Mark got off the phone. His eyes were red from crying but he had a determined look on his face. "His mobile is off," Mark reported glumly. Bryan looked away in disappointment. "You have to wait for me, Nicky. Wait for me!!!" he whispered. The taxi sped into the drop-off area. Bryan took out a stack of bills and gave it to the driving, not caring he gave the driver a $100 tip. The four lads rushed into the terminal, horrified to find it full of people, and having no idea of where to go. "Now what do we do?" Kian asked desperately. "Give me a sec," Mark said before running off to one of the counters. "Excuse me, ma'am. Can you please tell me how many flights are scheduled for Ireland today?" "Let me check for you, sir." The young lady looked into her monitor while Mark looked at the watch impatiently. "Sir, there are no flights scheduled for Ireland today." "What? Not even one?" "No sir. There are no direct flights scheduled for Ireland today. There is one flight departing for London Heathrow in twenty minutes though." Mark ran back to the other lads as fast as he could. "There is only one flight to London today. Nicky must be on that flight." "Where is it?" Bryan was becoming increasingly agitated. "Let's check the monitor. It's BA 1842." "I found it," Shane said. "Gate 59. Where's gate 59?" The four lads looked around frantically. One sign read 'Gates 101-139' while another sign read 'Gates 74 to 86'..." Mark knew time was running out. He went back to the young lady at the counter to ask for directions. "Gate 59?" she repeated. "It's at the next terminal. You'll have to take the inter-terminal shuttle buses." The four lads ran out of the terminal like four madmen. Finally catching a shuttle bus, they arrived at the correct terminal, panting for air. "Air Canada Flight 875 bound for Toronto is now boarding at Gate 35. Air Canada Flight 875 bound for Toronto is now boarding at Gate 35," the intercom announced. "Gate 59 is at that end of the terminal!" Shane shouted. There were so many people in the building it was difficult to be heard. Again, the four lads ran as fast as they could, but progress was slow because there were people everywhere, not to mention Bryan's injuries made movement difficult. "Attention. This is the last call for British Airways Flight 1842 bound for London Heathrow. This is the final boarding call for British Airways Flight 1842 bound for London Heathrow. Passengers please proceed to Gate 59 immediately." Running through the terminal was like going through an obstacle course. In the end, Shane was the first to arrive in the area where Gate 59 was located. Looking around, trying to find the proper gate, he read the monitor: "BA 1842 London Heathrow - Gate 59 ---- DEPARTED." The other three lads caught up to Shane only to find him staring blankly at the screen. Bryan looked at the monitor and he too saw what Shane saw. "No!! Why didn't you wait for me, Nicky???" he cried as he ran to the window facing the runway. "Why didn't you wait???" He fell to his knees as he saw the British Airways jet speeding down the runway... ...to be continued....