Date: Thu, 13 Dec 2001 10:33:41 +0000 (GMT) From: Alec C. Subject: When My Pretty Boy Sleeps part 29-end Pairing: JC and Justin Disclaimer: not true Rating: NC-17 for Angst. This story is dedicated to everyone who has suffered from domestic violence and got out. It's semi autobiographical. Thank you to everyone who took some time to send me some feedback. Thank you! Just let me know what you think now that the story has ended: Alecsandria@y... Dedications: Ath, I heart you! Jaxx, hun, I'd be lost without your words and ability to cheer me up. T, what can I say. I love you I miss you, see you again soon! Part 29 JC woke up in the middle of the night, hearing someone choking. He blinked a few times while trying to focus in the dark room. His eyes came to rest on Justin who was still sitting at the table. JC glanced at his watch and noticed that it was 3 A.M.. He watched Justin and saw him raise the spoon in his hand. Before the spoon was anywhere near his mouth, Justin started heaving and choking. The spoon fell down into the bowl of yogurt again and JC watched Justin swallow hard, wipe away his tears and reach for the spoon again. 'Justin?' His voice was soft but it still startled the younger man at the table. Justin raised his head and stared at JC. 'I... Lance... I wasn't...' Justin tried to smile. 'Lance said that I could go to bed after I had finished dinner.' JC shook his head. 'It's 3 am Justin. I'm sure that Lance didn't mean that you have to stay up all night to finish it.' JC kicked off his blankets and walked to the table. The yoghurt in the bowl looked disgusting and it made JC's stomach turn. 'Come to bed. We'll explain it to Lance in the morning.' Justin shook his head and attempted to eat some more. Again he started heaving before the spoon reached his mouth. JC clamped his hand down on Justin's wrist and took the spoon away. 'It's not working like this, Justin.' Justin looked at JC. 'Lance said that they would force a tube down my throat if I didn't start eating properly soon. I don't want them to do that.' JC spotted a platter of fresh fruit and he suddenly got an idea. 'Let's leave it for now ok. You're tired and you need some sleep. I'll wake you tomorrow before Lance gets here and you can eat it than ok?' Justin tilted his head to the side and stared at JC. 'You won't forget?' JC shook his head. Justin pushed his chair back and slowly rose to his feet. 'We'll have some fruit ok?' Justin paled and shook his head. 'I'd rather finish the yoghurt then.' JC wrapped an arm around Justin's small shoulders. 'I'll have some fruit then and you can get some rest.' He guided the young man to his bed and waited until Justin had settled in against the pillows. JC nibbled on a grape. He didn't really want to have some fruit but he was hoping it would convince Justin to have some food too. 'Do you want a grape?' Justin shook his head. 'An orange?' Again Justin shook his head. 'Banana?' Justin smiled. 'I don't want anything. Thanks though.' JC continued to slowly eat a grape waiting for Justin to say something. 'He...' Justin scooted closer to JC underneath the blankets. 'He... made... I had...eat...my own...' Justin grabbed JC's shirt and looked at him with a scared look in his eyes. 'You can't tell anyone, please?' JC covered Justin's hand. 'I won't tell a living soul.' 'I was on the bed.' Said Justin, not breaking his eye contact with JC. 'And he was pushing something inside of me. It hurt...it hurt so badly. He hit this little spot and...' Justin swallowed a sob. His hand curled tighter around JC's shirt. 'I got hard.' JC had to strain his ears to hear Justin. 'I got hard.' He said again. His other fist clenched the sheet and Justin jerked forward. 'I didn't want to. Please believe me. I didn't want... It hurt, and than I got hard and I felt so ashamed and I wanted it to go away, but he hit that spot and I couldn't make it go away and it hurt and I...' Justin abruptly ended his ramblings. JC reached out and stroke Justin's cheek in a soothing caress. 'I came. He pushed so hard and I came.' Justin buried his head in JC's chest. 'He started laughing at me. Saying that I was finally enjoying myself.' Justin managed to crawl closer to JC. 'He got off the bed and I thought that he was going to the bathroom to get something to clean me up but he walked to the table and got a spoon.' A shudder went through Justin's body as his memories went back to that night. 'His laugh was so freaky and he scraped the cum of my body with the spoon and fed it to me. I had to eat it.' Justin pushed himself away from JC again. 'It's my entire fault. I got hard, I came and he made me eat it... I can still taste it. I can still feel it slide down my throat and settle in my stomach.' JC reached out for Justin but he jerked away. 'Don't touch me please. I'm...' JC settled his hands in his lap. 'What happened was a physical reaction. He hit your prostate and your body responded to that. It's a natural thing to do for your body. It has happened to me too.' Justin looked at JC. 'He... you...' JC nodded. Justin suddenly started crying. 'I want to eat JC. I want to taste the soft, rich flavour of chocolate in my mouth again. I want enjoy an ice cream, but I can't. I only taste my own cum. I can't get rid of that flavour.' Justin started spitting as if he wanted to get rid of the taste like that. JC peeled off an orange and ate the first part. He kept his eyes on Justin and noticed that the blonde was focussed on the orange. He silently took a part off and gave it to Justin. Justin held the part in his hand and stared at it. He slowly raised his hand and the spicy smell of the orange made his stomach rumble. He laughed shortly. He didn't gag when the part touched his lips. His tongue sneaked out and licked a bit of the juice from the part. Justin smacked his lips, savouring the taste. He opened his mouth and bit off a little piece of the orange. Juice squirted in all directions and Justin giggled. He ate the little bit slowly, heaving slightly when he swallowed. He than raised his head and looked at JC. A pair of blue eyes, filled with pride, looked back at him. Justin finished the part at a slow pace and accepted the tissue JC handed him to wipe of his hands. 'I think that Lance will be pretty impressed when he finds out that you ate an orange.' 'I only had...' 'You ate an orange. We've got the peel as evidence.' JC smiled at Justin. 'Don't worry Justin. I won't tell Lance what you've told me.' Justin snuggled back under the blankets again. 'I'm tired.' JC threw a quick glance at the clock. It was almost 4 am. He walked to the garbage can and threw the orange peel away. He made his way back to his own bed and tried to find a comfortable spot. 'JC?' 'Hmmm.' He had almost found his position to sleep in. 'I love you.' JC was suddenly wide-awake and he rolled onto his back. The bed, which had been warm and comfortable, was suddenly cold and hard. He couldn't find a spot to lay comfortably on, and the only thing that he heard was the soft breathing coming from the other bed. JC blinked. It was 5 am. He wouldn't be able to sleep again. Chapter 30 It was Joey's idea. He had decided that they needed to do something together, some male bonding with the 5 of them and a few bodyguards. JC was the one that protested the most. He didn't need some fun theme park to do some bonding, but Joey couldn't be persuaded and they all had to come. Joey had done a good job. The park was closed for the rest of the public, and there were 2 wheel chairs waiting in case Justin and JC were too tired to walk and they were allowed to go behind the rides as well. Chris went wild the first few rides. He screamed his lungs out and laughed enough for the five of them. Lance took a little longer to defrost but soon he was chasing Chris through the park deciding what ride to go on next. Joey stayed back with JC and Justin. JC refused to go on any ride. Justin wanted to go but not without JC and pouted the whole time. Joey observed the two young men. Justin visually craved the attention of JC but he wasn't getting any. It was as if JC didn't allow himself to respond to Justin's little touches. Joey sighed and took a deep breath. 'Are there any rides you want to go on JC?' JC turned his head and looked at Joey with a funny look in his eyes. 'Maybe.' Joey rolled his eyes. 'And that ride is...' JC turned and pointed at a sign. 'You want to go on there?' JC nodded. 'Want to come with me Justin?' Justin turned his head and looked at the sign. 'It's a dangerous ride. It's fast and high and...' 'Oh please, Justin.' Said JC in a begging voice. Justin hesitated and than nodded. 'Just once ok.' They both rose to their feet and walked away. Joey frowned. Something wasn't right. But he couldn't point out what was wrong. After 10 minutes JC and Justin returned. Justin was almost crying but JC had a bright smile on his face. Joey jumped up. 'What happened?' 'Nothing. The ride was fantastic. It was one big rush.' Joey turned to Justin. 'Why do you have tears in your eyes?' 'I was scared and I squeezed JC's arm really hard. I think that I hurt him.' Joey glanced over his shoulder and saw JC still smiling. 'He doesn't seem to be bothered. It's ok. Justin.' The day ended without any more incidents. Justin was tired and sat sleeping in a wheel chair. JC was sitting in the other wheel chair with a grim frown on his face. Chris and Lance were still hyper and Joey was slightly disappointed that they didn't get to do the bonding that he had hoped for. ** The court case was coming to an end. The lawyers had both held their final speech and the jury now had to decide if Ryan was guilty or not. JC was reading the newspaper about the trail and Justin was sitting on the couch next to him. 'How long do you think it will take?' 'I don't know. I'm not on the jury and I don't know what they think.' 'We'll win of course. It's very clear what he had done to us.' JC folded the newspaper away. 'It's not like that Justin. 12 people are deciding whether or not we are telling the truth.' 'But...' 'All we can do is wait.' 'Can we do something fun while waiting?' Justin said in a slightly whining voice. 'Like what?' Justin suddenly moved behind JC on the couch. 'Like hugging and sitting like this for hours.' JC pried Justin's arms away from his body. 'I don't feel like hugging.' Justin kissed JC's neck. 'What about some making out, huh? To pass the time.' 'I don't feel like making out.' Justin slowly slid away from behind JC. 'What do you feel like doing than?' JC shrugged. 'I don't know.' Justin stared at his hands. 'Do you want to do something with me?' He asked in a small voice. 'We can watch TV.' 'I can't show you how much I love you by watching TV.' JC started laughing and Justin bit his lip. 'You have never showed me that you loved me. Words are empty Justin. They don't mean anything.' 'I show you how much I love you all the time.' JC snorted and picked up his newspaper again. Justin's mouth fell open and he grabbed the news paper. 'I show you how much I love you all the time.' JC sighed and shook his head. 'Not once have you showed me how much you love me Justin. Not once.' Justin felt anger rise inside of him. 'Yes I did.' JC shook his head. 'No you didn't, and I can keep this up for a long time.' Justin closed his eyes as he realized what JC was trying to do. He reached out and took the newspaper away. Justin stared at JC's face and it made him want to cry. 'I know what you are trying to do JC. But that's not the way that I'll ever show my love for you. I don't need to hurt you to show you that I love you.' JC's eyes clouded over and he looked away. 'Just look at me JC.' JC kept staring at the wall. 'Dammit JC, look at me.' Said Justin in a stern voice. JC turned his head with a shook. A little sparkle was showing in his eyes and Justin slowly died inside. 'I will never hurt you JC. Never. Ryan didn't show you the proper way to love. Love doesn't equal pain.' The sparkle died in JC's eyes and he turned away again. Justin swallowed a sob and walked to the door. 'I almost died for you JC. That should be enough for you to know that I love you.' Justin opened the door and turned back to JC. 'You can find some sick bastard to hurt you again JC. I sure as hell will never lay a finger on you. Why don't you just go back to Ryan and his love if that is what you want? I don't care. I don't love you. You said so yourself.' Justin's voice was ice cold and the door closed with a soft click. Chapter 31 The phone call came at 10 AM the following morning. JC and Justin had to be back at the court house at 11, but after 30 minutes of begging and pleading Chris gave up trying to get Justin to agree to go, and JC went to the court house without him. JC didn't blame Justin. He had heard the cries Justin had made and the soft words Joey had spoken last night. Apparently the word spread fast because the courtroom was packed. Their lawyer excused Justin to the judge, stating that Justin was emotionally overwhelmed and couldn't deal with another day in court. The judge excused Justin and JC felt alone. He fiddled with a loose thread on his shirt and he tried not to stare at the empty chair next to him. Justin had always been sitting right next to him. A hand covered his and JC looked up. Lance smiled back at him. 'It's going to be alright.' JC nodded. Lance patted his hand and sat back again. The jury came inside the court room and the final day of their trail started. 'Did the jury come to a decision?' Asked the Judge. 'Yes, we did your honor.' The jury foreman handed a folded piece of paper over to the court clerk who handed it to the judge.. The Judge quickly read the paper and said; 'Can you please read out the verdict?' The foreman cleared his throat and folded his own piece of paper open. JC swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. This was the moment of truth. 'We, the jury, declare the suspect Ryan O'Clare guilty on all charges.' It remained quiet in the court room for just a split second before people started screaming with joy. JC sat totally quiet and stared at the jury. He blinked a few times letting the words sink in. His gaze moved from the jury to where Ryan was sitting. Ryan stared straight back to him. A shiver ran down JC's back. He wanted to look away but he couldn't. 'We won, man!' Chris screamed in his ear. JC felt someone hugging him from behind but he couldn't respond. His eyes were locked with Ryan's. He saw how the two guards undid the chains to the wall and how the door to the court room was opened and how Ryan was lead outside. Ryan started to smile at JC and JC tried to make himself as small as possible. 'This isn't over.' Yelled Ryan. 'You can't get rid of me this easily, JC.' JC shook his head. 'No it's over.' He whimpered. 'I'll be back for you, JC and that nice little boyfriend of yours. You'll pay for this.' 'No.' Yelled JC. 'I won't let you do this to me.' Ryan started laughing. 'Too late, JC. I'm inside your mind and I have no plans to leave very soon.' The guards grabbed Ryan a little tighter and drug him from the court room. 'Watch your back, JC. You haven't seen the last of me yet.' JC pushed his chair back with such force that it broke in two pieces when it hit the banister. He jerked free out of the embrace from whoever was holding him and he tried to get to the exit. People were stopping him, trying to pat his shoulder or to hug him. Someone called out his name but all JC cared about was getting outside. His lungs were burning and he needed fresh air. He pushed people aside in his urge to make it to the door before he passed out. He was ambushed by reporters as soon as the doors from the courtroom opened. Someone grabbed his arm, shoving a microphone under his nose for a first reaction, but JC shook his head. He gasped in short breaths of air and felt as if the walls were closing in. Everyone surrounding him wanted a piece of him and all he wanted was some air. Ryan's laugh echoed in his head and JC tugged at his hair in an attempt to silence the voice. He finally saw the sunlight and he shoved and pushed his way through the media. A fist was clenched in his shirt and JC moved from left to right to get rid of it. 'JC, calm down.' The voice sounded familiar. The moment he stepped outside another batch of reporters wanted him. JC tried to take a deep breath to fill his burning lungs but questions were fired at him from all sorts of directions. 'Are you relieved with the verdict?' 'What sentence do you think Mr. O'Clare will receive?' 'Will you sell your story to the news papers?' JC looked from left to right trying to find a face that he knew and trusted. Ryan's laughter in his head went from hysterical to sadistic. JC grabbed his head and sank to his knees. 'Ryan, no.' he screamed. 'Oh god. Ryan, no.' 'Come on JC. The limo is here. We're going back to the hotel.' He was lifted of the ground and JC pressed his face to the chest of the person holding him. 'It's ok. Ryan is gone. He can't hurt you anymore.' The deep rumble told JC that Lance was holding him. JC raised his head and looked at Lance with scared wide eyes. 'He can still hurt us. He is inside me.' Whispered JC. 'He is inside me and he won't leave.' Lance pressed JC back to his chest. 'He will be locked up forever. Don't worry. We are here to protect. We are getting you back to Justin now.' The slow rocking motion of the limo lulled JC to sleep and the last thing he heard was Ryan screaming that it wasn't over yet. Part 32 Justin sat restlessly on the bed, slapping away Joey's foot that was constantly nudging his side. 'Cut it out.' Justin snapped. Joey just laughed and continued bugging him. Justin was flicking through the TV channels. ' Why aren't they showing anything? Hello! Media event of the century.' ' Maybe, just maybe, if you'd stop at one channel longer than a microsecond, you can actually see what they are showing.' Justin growled and looked over his shoulder. ' Smart ass.' He raised his hand to scratch an itchy spot on his cheek. 'Stop scratching. The doctor said that the spot needs time to heal.' Justin lowered his hand to reveal a red square on his cheek where the plaster that held his feeding tube had been. 'It itches.' 'My hand itches at the moment and I don't do anything about.' Justin rolled his eyes and looked back at the screen. 'They're showing it.' Joey sat up straight and scooted closer to Justin. Justin turned up the sound to hear the reporter outside the court house say that Ryan had been found guilty on all charges. Joey let out a loud cheer and hugged Justin tight. 'We are now waiting for the members of Nsync to come out. As previously stated, Justin Timberlake isn't here today due to being under some emotional distress.' Justin snorted but didn't say a word. The doors of the courthouse opened and JC stormed outside. 'Here is JC Chasez one of the victims.' The reporter turned around to try and get JC to speak into her microphone. From all sides the journalists started to ask JC questions. 'Are you relieved with the verdict?' 'What sentence do you think Mr. O'Clare will receive?' 'Will you sell your story to the newspapers?' Justin saw JC look around with a frantic look in his eyes. Justin bit his lip so he wouldn't cry out looking at despair on JC's face. Suddenly JC grabbed his head and sank to his knees whilst screaming Ryan's name. Justin's blood ran cold in his veins and he stared at the screen in disbelief. 'J, man.' Joey's hand squeezed his shoulder. 'Don't touch me.' Said Justin in a low voice. 'I'm all right. The bastard will be convicted and I can move on. I don't need JC to do so.' Joey shook his head. 'I don't think that JC meant to scream out his name.' Justin stood up and looked at Joey. 'He did, on national TV. But I don' t care. I told him to find someone else and I guess that he did.' Justin walked to the bathroom. 'I'm just going to freshen up before the others come back.' ** Justin closed the door behind him and rested his head against the hard wood. 'You bastard.' He mumbled. Justin pushed himself away from the door and looked in the mirror. 'You had to push him away. You just had to tell him to find someone else.' Justin raised a finger at his own reflection. 'All this time you've been walking on your toes to please him, to let him know that you really care and you just had to ruin it.' Tears sprung in Justin's eyes. 'I should punish myself for doing this.' Justin grabbed his bag filled with toiletries and started to search through it. His hand hit a bottle of pills. Justin thought for a second. 'That's too easy.' He threw the bottle back in and started searching again. This time he found what he was looking for. He lifted the small metal object and watched the light reflect in it. 'This will do the trick.' Justin stared at his reflection once more. 'This should teach you not to hurt JC. I've told you before and you just won't listen to me.' Justin scratched him self with the razorblade. Not deep enough to do serious damage but deep enough for blood to well up. A shiver of pain rolled through his body and Justin sighed. He lifted his hand once more to carve himself but than he heard the door open. 'We're here.' Justin heard Chris say. 'Where's Justin?' 'Bathroom.' Answered Joey. A knock followed straight after. 'Justin? You ok in there?' Lance's worried voice seemed to fill the small space. Justin opened the door whilst his fingers curled over the razor blade to hide it. Justin didn't look at Lance but walked past him into the room where the others were. JC stood by the window, his arms wrapped around his thin frame. Justin walked to the older man and looked at him. JC's eyes darted through the room not resting at anything. 'It's now or never.' Mumbled Justin to himself. He stepped closer to JC and cupped his face with one hand. He felt JC tremble and Justin moved closer. He softly pressed his lips against JC's. Justin hoped for a sigh or a kiss back, but nothing happened. 'Oh god.' Justin stumbled backwards. His hand fluttered through the air to rest on his open mouth. Justin kept walking backwards until he felt a chair hit his legs. He sank onto it and stared at JC with large eyes. 'I...' Started Justin. 'I... I almost died for you JC. I almost died trying to show you that I really loved you but you... Do you care?' The last three words were a mere whisper. 'I almost died.' Screamed Justin. 'But that's not good enough for you, is it?' Justin relaxed his hand and spread it open with his palm facing the ceiling. 'You know what JC. Maybe it's best if I died. You can go back to Ryan. That's what you want isn't it?' JC didn't respond. He just stood there and stared at Justin. Justin took the razor blade and laughed, short and cold. 'Maybe it's the best for all of us.' He pressed the blade hard in his arm ignoring the instant flash of pain. No one moved. Chris, Joey and Lance stared at Justin and JC without being able to move. Suddenly Chris and Joey were the first to act. 'Stop it!' Screamed Chris while Joey ran to Justin to grab his arm. 'Stop it!' Screamed Chris again. Joey pressed his fingers in the slash on Justin's arm. 'Don't Justin, don't do this.' 'He wants me dead. He doesn't even stop me.' Sobbed Justin. Joey looked over his shoulder at JC, who was clearly in shock. Lance moved to JC, slowly so as to not startle the other man. 'JC?' Lance placed a hand on his arm. 'JC?' JC's arm trembled under Lance's hand. JC slowly turned his head to Lance and whispered something. Lance had to strain his ears to hear him. 'Blood everywhere.' Chris appeared behind Lance and grabbed JC's arm. He pushed JC into a chair and took a deep breath. 'Please, don't do this. Don't hurt each other anymore.' Chris said in a pleading voice. 'I thought that you loved each other.' Justin managed to snort through his sobs. 'Justin, I mean it. You nearly lost your life trying to prove to JC that what you felt was real. JC nearly lost his life feeling guilty.' 'He doesn't love me. I've told him that I did and he started laughing.' Screamed Justin on the top of his voice. Chris kneeled in front of JC. 'Jayce, listen to me. If, one day, I find someone that will love me only half as much as you two love each other, I'll be the luckiest man in the world. Because that someone will love me with all their heart and soul.' JC's eyes stopped moving through the room and rested on Chris's face. 'We've nearly lost the both of you. Don't make us go through this again.' 'I don't want Ryan.' Mumbled JC. 'I lo...' 'Come on JC. Say it. Everything will be ok.' Chris squeezed JC's knee. JC jerked his head to the side and looked at Justin. He unwrapped one arm from around his body and reached out. Justin stared at the hand for a few second before slipping his own bloodied hand over it. JC entwined their fingers. 'I don't know love without pain. I don't know if I can love without pain.' Justin repressed a sob as he moved from the chair to the floor in front of JC's chair. 'Help me Justin.' Whispered JC. 'Help me.' Justin nodded, unable to speak. Justin laid his head in JC's lap. 'No more pain.' Said the blonde after a long silence. It seemed to be the cue Lance, Chris and Joey were waiting for. Joey gently removed Justin's hand from JC's. 'We need to get some stitches in that cut.' 'I'll make some tea and coffee to calm us all down.' Said Lance. Chris silently walked to the bathroom and got a wet cloth to wipe the blood off both JC and Justin. Joey guided Justin to the door to get him to the hospital. 'Justin?' JC's quivering voice was soft. Justin turned and looked at JC. 'We won.' And a small smile appeared on both their faces. Epilogue Justin's plane landed with a soft thud and the blonde man woke up from a dreamless sleep. He stretched his hands over his head and yawned. His back popped and Justin sighed. He'd be back in JC's arms within minutes. Justin's younger brother played in a little league team and Justin had flown home to watch him play the final of their districts championship. This was definitely the last time he would go anywhere without JC. It has been a year since a jury had sentenced Ryan to 20 years in prison, and Justin and JC were on a long road to recovery. They had taken 6 months off and had recently started working on their new CD. They had a house together, and intensive therapy helped them come to terms with their pain and nightmares. They both had experienced setbacks in the past but they could see the light at the end of the tunnel. The flight attendant handed him his jacket and Justin rose to his feet. 'My colleague will escort you from the plane, Mr. Timberlake.' Justin smiled at her and replied. 'That's ok. I didn't ask for extra security.' 'The request came from the ground, sir.' Justin frowned but followed the other flight attendant to the exit of the plane. He saw nothing special and followed the man to the gate. Justin looked around to see if he could spot JC somewhere. Suddenly his eyes rested on a familiar face. 'Lance?' Justin said in surprise. 'What are you doing here?' 'I came to pick you up, let's go.' Lance grabbed Justin's wrist and started to pull him through the crowd. 'Lance, you're hurting me. Where is JC?' 'We have to hurry.' Justin jerked his arm free and stopped walking. 'Where is JC? Why do you have three bodyguards with you, and why are we walking towards the VIP exit?' Lance rolled with his eyes. 'We don't have time for this. Come on.' 'We've got all the time of the world at the moment. You better start answering my questions, Lance.' Lance exchanged quick glances with one of the bodyguards and said: 'Ryan escaped from prison last night. We have to get you somewhere safe.' Justin hadn't expected this answer and he blinked a few times. 'He escaped?' Lance nodded. 'Now, let's move.' 'Where is JC?' Justin asked in a small voice. Lance ignored Justin's question and started to drag him through the airport again. An odd feeling started to swirl in Justin's stomach. He had asked Lance and one of the bodyguards about JC but neither of them acknowledged him or the question. Justin barely had time to strap the seat belt on before the driver took off Police escorts were driving in front and behind their car and they drove through the town at an insanely high speed. Justin screamed his question again over the roar of the engine but Lance just shook his head and looked the other way. They arrived at the house minutes later. Justin fought the urge to throw up after the wild ride and climbed out of the car. The street was filled with police cars and yellow tape was surrounding his house. 'Come on Justin.' Lance took his elbow and guided Justin through the mass of people. 'No entry allowed, Sir.' A policeman stepped in front of them. 'He is the partner of the victim.' Justin turned his head to Lance in slow motion. At the same time the front door opened and a gurney with a body bag on it was pushed outside. Justin swallowed hard and he started to sway. 'Is this why...?' Justin couldn't finish his sentence. He tried to pry Lance's fingers from his elbow to get to the gurney. 'That's not JC.' Said Lance in a soothing tone. 'He is inside.' The police officer stepped aside and Justin dashed to the front door. The hall was filled with cops too and Justin frantically tried to find JC. 'Justin!' Joey appeared in his line of vision. 'Over here.' Joey waved him to the living room. Justin rudely pushed an officer aside and stepped inside the living room. The room was trashed. Broken picture frames were scattered all over the floor and two cops sat on their knees dusting the fragments for finger prints. Justin's eyes flew over the people in the living room until he found JC. The older brunette was standing with his back towards a corner. His arms were wrapped around his thin frame and he actually snarled at the female officer who was trying to talk to him. Chris was hopping behind her, trying to comfort JC and answering questions fired at him by the second female officer. JC tried to press his body as far away in the corner as he could. One trembling hand moved to the side of his head to push a loose strand of hair behind his ear and Justin saw the large bruise that marred the side of his face. A small drop of blood dripped from a cut above his eyebrow. Justin whimpered softly. 'Get those people away from him, Joe.' Joey nodded and quickly whispered to everyone that Justin had arrived. The two officers slowly backed away from JC and moved to the entrance of the living room. Justin wanted to walk to JC and wrap him in his arms, telling him that everything was ok but instead he sat down on the couch. 'JC?' Justin's calm voice filled the room. JC froze and slowly raised his head. 'Just?' JC's voice was raw and hoarse. 'What happened?' Justin slipped his hands under his legs to prevent him from pulling JC close as the brunette slowly made his way towards the couch. 'I was sleeping.' JC said. He sat down on the edge of the couch. 'I felt someone touch my back. I thought that it was morning already and that you were home.' JC said in a monotone voice. 'I thought that I had overslept.' His facial expression changed to fear. 'But I was pressed down and I knew that it wasn't you.' JC's eyes met Justin's. 'You'd never hurt me.' Justin shook his head to confirm JC's statement. 'I suddenly heard his voice. He said that he had killed you and that I was going to be his forever.' JC shuddered and reached out to take Justin's hand. Their therapist had told them that it was up to JC whether he needed Justin's help or not, and no matter how much Justin ached to touch JC, he had to wait for the other man to make the first move. 'He tried to pull my pants down but I wouldn't let him. I wanted to roll over and he hit me in my face.' JC's fingers trembled as he touched the bruise on his cheek. 'I rolled over and kicked him off. Suddenly the police were there.' JC waved at the officers. 'Did you kill him?' Justin asked in a soft voice. JC shook his head. 'He had a gun, tried to shoot me, but they were faster.' Justin released a sigh of relief. 'He said that you were dead.' Whispered JC and suddenly launched him into Justin's lap. Justin wrapped his arms around the trembling body and closed his eyes. 'Justin? Josh?' Chris and Joey shuffled inside the room. Justin opened his eyes and blinked away his tears. 'The officers took down JC's story as his statement. They'll be gone within the hour.' JC raised his head from Justin's shoulder and nodded. He saw Lance enter the room behind Joey and Chris. 'Can we stay at your house?' He asked all of them, not caring where they went. 'I don't want to stay here anymore.' 'You can stay at my house.' They all replied in unison. Justin tried to repress his giggle but the shaking of his body made JC giggle as well. They both started laughing and hugging each other closer. 'What did we do?' Asked Chris surprised. 'I think that it's just the tension.' Replied Joey. Justin wiped away his tears and waved the others towards the couch. 'I... Now...' Justin thought about his words for a second. 'I think that it's time that we all start living our lives again. Ryan is dead. He can't hurt us anymore.' Justin squeezed JC's hand. 'I think that we are ready to tour again. I think that it's time that we stop living in fear and that we start to live a little.' JC moved closer and captured Justin's lips in a short but intense kiss. 'Thank you.' 'I love you.' The End. Thank you for reading! Alec