CHAPTER 18 -

Early in the morning the boys were flying to England, and they arrived there at two third in the afternoon. Being terribly hungry, eating was the first thing they did after putting their stuff in their rooms.

Barely had they finished lunch, Kevin warned about their commitments.

"Hey guys... in half an hour we have sound check, don't forget it. After this we have a small section or promotional photos for two magazines, which means we'll be coming home again very late. Take all the stuff you are gonna need and met me here as soon as possible."

"Ok." - Howie sighed heavily followed by AJ.

They loved what they did, but they were just tired. And photo sections were awful! Boring as hell. Sound cheking wasn't much different. The good part of all this was performing, being on stage, singing, hearing the fans screaming, giving interviews where they met fans... This was good. Being in studio was also cool, recording and all was great. Another thing tiring though, was the making off of a video. For sure it always turned out by being funny, they were in a group of five guys, impossible not to laugh about the smallest things. But again sometimes they would go the whole night through without sleeping, and it just sucked.

"Ok, ok! We'll get our stuff and be here right away!" - Nick smiled standing up and being followed by Brian.

"Hm, are we on a good mood today!" - Kevin exclaimed teasingly.

"Yes we are!" - Nick replied cheerfully.

Brian looked at him and grinned. He loved everything about his friend.


They got their stuff ready extremely fast, just to enjoy the rest of time they had to do better things...

Nick and Brian still had fifteen minutes when they sat on the bed staring at each other. Smiling, giggling... They couldn't help it! Only the sight of each other could make them feel like a twelve years old in love for the first time. And oh! They have known each other for so long... It was so crazy the way they felt, and so amazingly good.

Just being around Brian could make his breath increase. His heart seemed to be filling everything inside his chest, and Nick couldn't manage to speak. He actually forgot to speak whenever they were locking eyes.

"Its cute when you blush." - Brian said.

Nick blushed even harder and giggled.

"I'm glad you do this often." - Brian giggled back.

Now Nick was laughing.

"Oh, my God! You are so amazing! I love everything about us. Every little thing we have is so right, is so good..."

"I know the feeling." - Brian smiled. - "Its unreal, Nick. I never heard of something like what we have. Isn't it true that no one would ever understand it?"

Nick nodded.

"I really don't know how this all happened... I mean, did it really start just because of that small kiss I placed on your lips when you fought with Victoria? Was there when it all began?"

"Or was it when I asked if you didn't want to do it again?" - Nick said.

"I don't know... if I hadn't kissed you maybe nothing of this would have happened."

"But if I hadn't done it again, if it had stopped there, would things be the way they are now?" - Nick asked.

Brian shrugged and they smiled.

"I don't know and I think we'll never really know how it happened. But I love this... I love what we have, everything we share. And I love loving you. As wrong is might seem, it feels right. And I think I've been struggling against it for so long... I just wanna enjoy it now, even because my heart beats so fast whenever I see you, even if you are far from me, but if I put my eyes on you I shiver, I forget about everything. I can't think, Nick. And I don't want either. I just wanna love you, only love you..."

Brian approached his face and their lips touched. Brian nibbled on Nick's bottom lip for a while before gaining access to his mouth. Nick parted his lips welcoming Brian's tongue, and their kiss lasted for several minutes. Their tongues were playing together smoothly until Nick's right hand cupped Brian's chin, so that he could apply more strength to deepen their kiss. Brian responded by placing his fingers at the back of Nick's neck and pressing their faces even more. Nick shivered. The skin on his neck was very sensitive and Brian's fingertips were cold.

Brian locked Nick's tongue inside his lips and sucked it softly, loving the way it felt every time the tip of their tongues touched. He loved the way Nick knew how to lick places inside his mouth that no one had never reached before. The blond was curious, he wanted to feel, to taste everything and Brian could only allow him to. With parted lips they let their tongues touch and lick a little more before pulling away.

"I love you."

"I love you..." - Brian kissed Nick's forehead and they smiled standing up and walking away.


The day passed by in a rush. They didn't have not one minute to sit a little and rest. But, hey! They were Backstreet Boys, they had to work 24/7 to keep the backstreet pride alive!

Whenever they could, specially during the photo section, they would sneak a little in the dressing room and share soft quick kisses. Its was just too hard seeing each other there, so close and not being able to be even closer. It was all new and fresh for them, and just like teens it was as if there was no tomorrow, they just had to live it all today.

A good thing was that as being best friends Nick and Brian had this excuse to hug playfully, to be always wrestling in a way they could touch, or even to say they'd sneak around to talk about something. Perfectly reasonable for best friends to do. And for lovers too.

They were finally free to go home at eleven o'clock. They got into the limo that dragged them to the hotel. Once inside all they wanted, all they needed was to sleep, and both Brian and Nick were overeager to agree, saying they were also tired and wanted to go their room to sleep.

They said their byes briefly and minutes later they were back sitting on the same bed they had been before. Usually Nick would have suggested they could play video-game, but right now they had so many better things to do...

They were both smiling as Brian took his hand to the back of Nick's neck and ran his fingers through his hair, loving the way it felt sliding smoothly between fingers.

"Hm." - Nick moaned smiling and closing his eyes.

He couldn't tell how much it turned him on people playing with his hair. And right now he was getting hot because Brian knew just how to run his fingers through it, messing his hair, caressing his neck and massaging it at the same time.

Brian watched amazed as Nick's eyes closed and he moaned smoothly. He took his hands away and waited for his reaction.

"No, nohm... Don't stop it, it feels great." - Nick whined taking Brian's hands back to his hair.

Brian smiled and softly laid Nick on the bed, being partially atop of him, messing with his hair softly at the same time he placed butterfly kisses on his cheeks and lips.

"I love you, Nick."

"I love you, Brian..." - Nick moaned with closed eyes, just enjoying the treatment Brian was giving him.

Not being able to resist Brian buried his head on Nick's neck and inhaled deeply and fast, making Nick shudder and shiver from hair to toe.

"Oh, God!" - Nick hissed.

"What?" - Brian grinned, that gorgeous smile on his lips.

Nick giggled. Unconsciously he licked his lips and Brian felt his pants tightening against his will. Nick felt it, since Brian was on top of him, and again he giggled.

"Seems like you got a problem." - Nick said innocently.

Brian loved this. The way Nick could say all sort of naughty things, do all kind of stuff and keep that true innocent look on his face. That look saying he only did it cause it felt good, and coz of this it wasn't wrong.

"And you seem to be the cause of it." - Brian giggled back.

Nick knew the way to touch him. It didn't matter what part of his body, if he did it that right way Brian would get hard, no matter how hard he struggled not to. He still had problems to deal with this! It felt amazing. Definitely the best thing Brian had ever done in sex, something so delightful he actually felt pain. Like in that song: 'You'll never be the same, there's a certain satisfaction and a little bit of pain.' But at the same time he had all this inner struggle with his believes. Something that was really hard to think about when Nick was sliding his tongue almost in his throat.

"Hm... hm..." - Brian moaned as they kissed hungrily.

They kept making out until Brian felt Nick also hard pressing against his leg.

"We'll have to take care of this problem, right?" - Nick asked in a husky voice.

Brian shuddered with the thought they'd be doing it again.

"I don't know, Nick... Its so difficult to me! I have all my religion and stuff, its hard to let it go..."

Nick looked at him concerned. Brian must had been going through hell thinking about everything that was happening and what he had always been taught.

"Brian, all we do is what feels good. Don't you think it feels good...?"

Nick sat on the bed and began to pull Brian's shirt off, never breaking their stare as his hands ran over Brian's bare chest. Brian closed his eyes and sighed.

"Yes, Nick! It feels amazing, and I love you! But its hard to just enjoy it, there is so much in my mind... Like, its a sin and forbidden..."

"Is that what you feel inside?" - Nick asked a bit hurt.

Brian shook his head and kissed Nick's fingers.

"I love you with all my heart, Nick. And to me its right. But I have all the things I've been taught to believe in, the fear of God..."

"Do you think God hates us for falling in love?"

"No! God doesn't hate anyone!"

"I see things different from you. You fear God coz of us, and I thank Him for giving me you."

Brian stared at Nick and his mouth dropped open. With one sentence Nick took his fear away and made him realize how big this feeling really was. He would have never done something like this. Even if he was gay, Brian would never go for it. But Nick was someone special. Nick was his everything! His younger friend was what made him smile, was what made him whole. He loved Nick in all the ways a person could be loved, and what Nick said couldn't be more right, because loving him, plus being IN love with him was everything Brian needed from life.

"I love you, Nick... so much my hearts is gonna blow up!"

They smiled.

"Then do what he says. Do what your heart wants. What does he want Brian?"

Nick asked kissing Brian's neck, he was still sitting between his legs.

"He wants to be with you forever. And right now he is telling me to explore every single detail of you..."

Nick's heart raced and he smiled. Brian laid him on bed again and slowly took off his cloths. Nick watched feeling his own fears showing up. He was sure about this, but every time Brian's hands touched his bare chest, electricity ran over his body and he shivered. That adrenaline of being touched by his best friend, the one he knew for years, that person that knew him deeply. That person he loved. Nick knew Brian could read him through his eyes, and it made him feel safe and loved. And nothing could be better than being this close to him.

Brian unbuttoned Nick's jeans and pulled his zipper down. Slowly he slid his fingers in his waistband of his boxers and Nick took a deep breath, chills up and down his body in anticipation. Brian's fingers found his hard cock and brushed on it like feathers.

"Hmpf!" - Nick gasped and closed his eyes.

Brian smiled seeing his face, his eyes shutting with the pleasure, his breath making his chest move up and down fast, his hips moving, begging Brian for this touch.

After staring at Nick a bit more Brian finally got over his fears and slid his boxers and pants down. Nick was naked, and it was the first time Brian was seeing him hard.

Brian smiled and found Nick's mouth. They kissed slowly, massaging each other's tongues. At the same time they were doing this hot making out, Brian's hand never let go of Nick's shaft, rubbing it slowly, up and down, tracing circles on the tip of him.

"Hhhhhhhhmmm!" - Nick whined aching his hips into Brian's hand.

"Shhh... calm down, Nick. Just feel it..." - Brian whispered, surprised with his own voice and how low and sexy it sounded. He never talked this way! Well, no one else ever made him this hard either.

Nick pressed his head onto the pillow and tried to relax, but his muscles were tense, he was horny, he was needing this release. Nick wasn't used to going slowly, and the teasing was driving him crazy.

"Please, Brian... faster..." - Nick pleaded.

Brian found his mouth and kissed him deeply, licking his tongue at the same time he intensified the rhythm of the strokes.

"Hmmah... hmmmh..." - Nick whimpered losing control and completely depending on Brian's hand on him.

As Nick's breath increased and he was almost there Brian stopped.

"HMMM!" - Nick growled feeling his cock pulsate.

He opened his eyes and saw Brian taking off his boxers too. Now they were both naked. They let their eyes travel all the way over each other's body. And not even once they felt ashamed. This feeling was always there, saying it was right, as if they had been doing it since ever.

Nick bit his lip and Brian leaned down to kiss him. When he did that their cocks rubbed together and they moaned surprised at how good it felt. Seeing what they were doing Brian moved faster on top of him, pressing himself against Nick until he cried out.

"PLEASE! Oh, God, I can't take it anymore!" - Nick cried, his cheeks pink, he was totally flushed and Brian smiled at him. He must have been looking the same way.

Brian nibbled on Nick's lips a little before wrapping his hand firmly on Nick's shaft and stroking him fast, flicking his finger at the tip.

"I can't..." - Nick whined locking eyes with Brian.

He was desperate.

"Don't hold it back, Nick... just feel it..."

The tenderness of Brian's voice and the intensity of his strokes were enough to send Nick over the edge. He came hard shooting on Brian's hand several times, until his body finally calmed down. His breath still unsteady and his cheeks flushed.

Brian realized Nick was trembling slightly and his heart ached to hold him. Brian wrapped his arms around Nick and unconsciously the blond buried his head on his chest. Needing Brian's warmth to calm down from his orgasm.

"I love you so much, I need you!" - Nick gasped burying his head on Brian's bare chest.

Brian cupped his face and brought Nick's lips to his.

"I love you, Frack... I'm hopelessly in love with you and I never felt this way. If the world was to end tomorrow I'd die happy knowing I met my soul mate."

Nick's eyes shone as Brian laid on the bed slowly and Nick crawled on top of him. His eyes were watering and Nick was smiling.

"We are soul mates?" - Nick asked in a whisper, never letting go of their gaze.

"I'm sure we are. Don't you feel like you've loved me forever?"

Nick nodded.

"I feel like I've loved you in lifetimes before. I feel like I've known you forever, I feel like I belong to you..."

" "...as much as you belong to me." " - Nick finished for him.

Brian looked at him in awe, a smile forming on his lips.

"Now you did it."

Nick giggled.

"I just felt it." - Nick said lovingly.

He lowered his hand to fondle Brian's hard on, and immediately he closed his eyes, only now remembering how horny he really was.

"Oh, God!" - Brian moaned.

Nick smiled once again before facing Brian's cock. He flicked the tip of his tongue on his slit and Brian groaned, his eyes rolling on the back of his head. Nick licked it again, using his tongue to lick the tip of Brian in a circumference. Precum oozed from it as Brian's breath increased and his hips tried to reach Nick's mouth.

"Nick... I.... Oh I can't... hmm..." - he was so hard he couldn't even talk.

"Just feel it, Bri." - Nick said grinning.

He took the tip of Brian between his lips and sucked hard, his hands traveling up and down Brian's chest.

Brian managed to breath as he thrust while the most sensitive part of his body was being caressed by Nick's tongue, the warmth of his mouth and the tenderness of his lips.

"Hmmm, oh..." - Brian gasped when Nick let all he could slide into his mouth.

Brian's hands went down to play with Nick's hair as he thrust into Brian's cock, sucking and licking at the same time.

"God, I'm so close!" - Brian cried out when his head brushed the back of Nick's throat. - "I can't stand it, Nick! Oh... hmmmmhhhmm....!" - Brian whimpered.

Nick licked the precum teasingly before taking him all again and letting Brian slide in and out of his mouth, his hips aching upwards, lifting from the bed and from his mouth escaping moans and whimpers.

"Nick... God!"

Brian knew he was there. He tightened his hands around Nick's head and came hard inside his mouth.

Once again Nick chocked with the feeling, but swallowed everything he could until Brian softened again and his breath calmed down.

When Nick went up to kiss him Brian's eyes were closed and his breath still uneasy. Still without opening them Brian wrapped his arms around Nick, laid him on bed and kissed him hungrily at first and softly later. Their tongues dueled between the taste of Brian's cum, and licked it off each other simultaneously.

Nick kissed Brian's face, his cheeks, his chin and his nose.

"I love you,... hold me, Brian. I want my life to be yours."

Brian held him tight, looking at him and mouthing the words:

"I love you."

Nick also wrapped his arms around Brian, and that night they slept locked in each other's embrace. Neither of them realized how much this love had made them grow inside. A different level that was reached only by a few people. Something called true love.


if you want more you better e-mail me. Lionessy@hotmail.com

*Stephanie M* girl, I tried to contact you so many times but your mail box was always full! Thank you so much for the e-mail you sent me! J and please check your e-mails so i can send you one. Lol