Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2001 16:11:14 -0800 (PST)
From: jennipher raquet <jennipherdance@yahoo.com>
Subject: Cold Nights Being Alone 1

made up, fiction. enjoy. not implying anything. em me
if you want to. do enjoy feedback. all that blah blah
blah junk.

~*~

"C'mon Justin!" JC yelled at me.

"Coming!" I hollered, searching for my shoes. On an
impulse, I looked down, and lo and behold, there they
were on my feet. Hm. That's normal. Which just goes to
show you how absentminded I've been lately. Because of
Andy.

Okay, I should tell you about my girlfriend, Andy.
She's twenty, brown hair (most of the time) and brown
eyes, and a hyper personality. Funny and friendly,
kind of like my best friend JC, who I mentioned
earlier (he was the one who was hollering at me)
except Josh isn't as weird as Andy.

Oh, and Jennipher, Josh's g/f (Jenni, or JD, or Jade
or J-Josh) is her best friend. Jennipher is kinda
weird like me in some ways (which is really weird,
cause her and JC, then me and Andy...) Anyway, she's
kind of quiet, especially around people she don't know
that well (get to know her and she'll talk your ear
off). She's 19. JC's 24 and I'm 20. (It's Feb I just
had a b-day last month)

Andy and Jennipher moved down here (Florida) about 3
years ago. They share an apartment somewhere around
where JC, Lance and Chris used to live. Anyway, it was
a warm February morning (we're in Florida, ya follow
me?) Josh and I were taking ANDY and Jenni out to a
movie and lunch.

RING RING!

"I got it!" I yelled to JC, and picked it up. "Yello?"

"Hiya Just, is JC around?"

"Sure Jen. Want me to go get him?"

"Naw, just tell him that you and him have to come over
her as soon as you can. Don't hurry and get into a car
wreck, but come over. And we might have to cancel our
'plans' today."

"Okay Jade. I'll go tell 'im. Tell Andy hi for me."

"You know I will. Eeky pow." (a word from a high
school guy friend she knew.)

"Moji wan." I said. (They're both like hello and
goodbye. Aloha!!)

We hung up. "Yo Josh!" I yelled. "Jennipher said we
gotta go over real quick and probably cancel out
today!"

"Oh really, why?" he called.

"I dunno, she didn't say why."

"Okay, let's go."

We hopped into JC's jeep and went along. When we got
to their place and went in, Andy pulled me into her
room, and JD to JC to her room.

"What's up girly?" I asked Andy.

"JD needs to tell Jace something, and I need to keep
you occupied."

"Oh, wow. Tell me her news?"

"Fat chance. She'll tell you."

After a few minutes of being bored and then kissing
(yum. I could tell she just ate some candy and her
mouth tasted good) we were summoned to the living
room.

Jenni looked nervous, and JC looked pale.

"What's wrong Jace?" I asked.

"I'm pregnant." he mumbled.

I stared at him. I knew what he meant, but me, being
little Justy, I just had to make fun of him. "You're
pregnant? Does this mean I get to be a daddy?" I said,
enthusiastically and excited.

He gave me a funny look. "I dunno, did *you* sleep
with me?"

"Hmm. Can't remember. Did we get drunk lately?"

He new I was joking and he cracked a smile. "Maybe.
We'll just have to remember next time we get drunk to
stay in our own separate beds."

JD cracked up and Andy looked horrified. "What?!" she
shrieked.

"Ow! Joking!" JC said.

"You better be. Just isn't gay, are ya?" she looked at
me.

"I might be. Ask me in a year." I said, being a smart
ass.

"One, two, skip a few, a year." Jennipher said. "Are
you?"

"Not that I know of."

"Good!"

"'Cept for that one time he got drunk and-" JC
started.

"NO!" I yelled at JC. "That's my secret! Don't tell!"

"And mine." he raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, whatever."

JC made a face at me. "Yuck Justin."

"Sorry. Alcohol does strange things." I looked at
Andy. "Don't drink Andy, the alcohol makes you do
weird things."

"And I found that out the hard way." JC mumbled.

"Oh hush." I told him.

"You were drunk! You don't remember! I do!" he
protested.

"Wah baby wah." I rolled my eyes. "Grow up!"

"No! You-"

"NO don't tell!" I shrieked.

"Grow up!" he mimicked me.

"Tell me what he did." Jennipher said. He whispered in
her ear. "So what." She said. "The only reason you
keep bringing it up is cause you like to talk about it
cause you liked it."

"What! NO!"

"What what what?" Andy said. "Tell me too!"

"Okay blonde owl." Jennipher said. "Justin got drunk
and held JC down and French kissed him a bunch of
times."

"Seven!" JC corrected.

"You counted?" I asked.

"Nooo." he said. "My best friend who is actually a lot
stronger than me is holding me down and kissing me
with his tongue for some odd reason. No I'm not gonna
count!"

"He got bored so he counted." Jennipher informed us.

Andy laughed. "Hey, Justin isn't that bad of a
kisser!"

"No, I just so happened to not be bored." he said.

"What were you then?" I asked. I looked at the girls.
"He usually refused to talk about this, so we're lucky
he's yakkin' about it now."

"Oh, back then I was still JC." he said loftily.

"I meant what did you feel while I'm told I kissed
you?"

"Well, felt your hands on my arms. I felt your refusal
to let me go."

"What about the actual kisses?"

"Meh." he shrugged. "I dunno."

"Don't know or don't want to say?" I asked.

"A little from column A and a little from column B."
he said.

"Yeah, sure." Jade said, kissing his forehead. "We
know, we all know you liked Justin kissing you."

"What!" he stood there in protest as Jennipher and
Andy went out the door, ready to go. "Not! Not fair!
You're supposed to be on my side!"

I came up behind him and put my elbow on his shoulder.
"Oh relax Jace, nobody's making fun of you. It's okay
if you liked it, I don't remember so I can't say one
way or the other."

"I so did not like it!" he yelled.

"Oh wah baby wah you know you did. That's why you let
me do it seven times!" I retorted hotly.

We went out to the car where Andy and JD were,
arguing. "You were strong! Me, little weak JC and you,
you're very strong! You and Lance are always teasing
me saying a strong wind can knock me over! You can
hold me down and you know it. And you did." he
rambled.

"Blah blah blah wah wah wah either start making sense
or quit talking." I said. "Either drop it or admit you
liked it."

"Fine!" he sat in the back, next to Jennipher. "Okay!
Fine! I did! Okay! Now quit bugging me about it!"

"You did?" I repeated incredulously. "You liked me
kissing you?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"I..." he shrugged. "I don't know. I just did. It felt
good. I hadn't been kissed like that for about a year
when you did it."

"Did you kiss me back?" I asked.

"I don't remember. I think I did."

"Ew." Andy spoke up. "Gay."

"Me? Oh pipe down Shorty." I said indignantly. "I
don't think so! And what about li'l JC back there? If
he got Jennipher pregnant, I don't think he's gay."

"Yeah, I can vouch for that." Jennipher said.

"Me too." he said. "Now drop it."

I drove on, making a mental note to talk about it in
detail with JC some more...

~*~

We had a fine time at our double dates. The movie was
great and lunch was good. Jennipher, being pregnant,
didn't have any of those weird food cravings yet and
simply ate a hot dog and cheesy fries. Yum.

After dropping Jennipher and ANDY off back at their
apartment, JC and I drove back to the house we shared.

"So, Josh," I said to him in a teasing voice. "You
liked it when I kissed you, huh?"

"No! No-no!" he put his hands over his ears and ran to
his room. "Leave me alone!"

"Nope!" I ran after him, and just as he was trying to
shut his door, I re-opened it. I tackled him to the
ground.

"AAAHH!" he shouted, as I'd scared him. "Augh! Go
away!"

"Nope! Tell me about what happened-in detail." I said,
pushing his arms back (he was laying on his back and I
was on top of him) so that he couldn't move. We were
quiet for a moment, just staring at each other.

"You know, this brings back a lot of bad memories." JC
said.

"Yeah? What memories?"

"Of you kissing me. This is exactly what you were
doing, on top of me, and holding me down. And I aint
lyin', I really can't move!"

"So if I wanted to kiss you again, there'd be nothing
you could do about it?"

"Right, but why do you ask? Do you want to kiss me
again?" he gave me a funny look.

"Thought had crossed my mind."

He made a face. "Ew Justin, for the love of God."

"*You're* the one who liked it!" I protested.

"Yeah well, everyone knows I'm a bit off my rocker
anyway. You should never hold me against what I say."
he looked at me. "And literally, from the looks of it.
Never quote me on what I said."

"Okay, but you say a lot of things."

"Ah, touché." he said.

I burped. "Oops. Excuse me." I said, laughing.

"There is not excuse for you." he said, grimacing.

I laughed. "True."

"So, poindexter, why-what's the point of this?"

"I wont let you go until you tell my *exactly* what
happened in detail, and why you liked it."

He sighed. "I told you. I don't know why, and for the
details in remembrance to the events and incidents
that had taken place that night, I cannot give you
detail because I don't remember. I have a very select
memory, and I choose not to constantly reminisce on
the day my best friend French kissed me."

"What? You have a select memory?"

"Duh. Lead on Sherlock. You've known me for nine years
and never knew that?" he rolled his eyes.

"No, for your information, I did not. There's things
about me that *you* don't know."

"Such as?"

I smirked slyly at him. "I actually do remember that
night."

He looked at me incredulously. "You do? So why'd you
do it?"

"Because I was drunk. Just cause I remember doesn't
mean I had control over my actions."

"So if you remember, did you like kissing me?"

I thought about that. "You know...to tell the
truth...yes."

"Wow. Flattering yet frightening."

I laughed. "Only in your head."

"Well, maybe. But there's lots of things going on in
my head."

"Knowing you, I wholeheartedly agree." I said. I
looked down at him, and my eyes connected with his
cobalt blue ones. I looked deep into his eyes, and he
to mine. I was no longer holding him down with force,
he'd stopped struggling. He slipped his hands into
mine, so that we were holding hands. Then it happened.
We kissed.

Don't ask me why. Hell, I'm damned if I know. It was
just his eyes, and some unseen force pulling our lips
together. We kissed (yes, if you're dying to know,
with our tongues) and it was a good kiss. It didn't
matter if I couldn't breathe. That kiss, that person,
JC, was all that mattered to me. I kissed his mouth
inside and out, and his lips were cool and sweet (must
have been his soda). He tightened his grip on my
hands.

Finally, when both of us could take the suffocation no
longer, we had to break off and gasp for air. I
swallowed, and looked down at him, into his eyes. He
held my hands more gentler.

"Wh-" he broke off. "Why did we just do that?"

"I-I don't know. But it felt right." I added quietly.

He nodded faintly, and looked up at the ceiling, and
swallowed. "Um, Just, do you think I could get up
now?"

"Oh! Uh, sure." I got off him, and he sat up and
brushed off his arms. We sat in silence, awkward
silence, and didn't look at each other.

"Um...did we just cheat on JD and Andy?" he said, a
little pale.

"Um...no. Of course not. It was just one kiss.
A...a..."

"An accident." he said.

I looked at him. "Well if that's the way you feel
about it then, fine!"

He looked pained. "No Justin, I just...well, no one
planned this...did we?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"Then it was either a spur of the moment thing, or we
didn't know what we were doing until we were already
into it-an accident. I didn't say a *bad*
accident...or a good accident. An abstaining
accident."

I laughed, then quieted. "Do you regret it?"

"I do-and I don't. Mostly I don't."

"Why do you?" I asked.

He sighed. "Because I can't lie to Jennipher, just
like I can't lie to you. She can see right through me.
I mean, what just happened is no little thing. And it
very probably wont be settled right away, so it'll be
on my mind awhile, as well as yours. She can figure
out people real quick. So she'll be able to tell
something is up, and I can't lie to her. She'll find
out."

"Will she tell Andy?" I asked fearfully.

He shook his head. "I don't know, I really don't."

I sighed. "Looks like time will have to tell this
tale. Maybe me and you should take a nap to get some
rest."

He nodded. "Okay." And as if to add emphasis to his
agreement, he yawned.

"Good emphasization." I said.

He laughed. "Whatever. Now get outta my room, ya slack
jawed gawker!"

I stood outside his doorway, preparing to bolt when he
made a move to run after me. "Aw hell JC, there aint
nothing to gawk at!" I said.

As predicted, he took a few quick steps towards me,
and I lit out for my room and down the hall, and
slammed the door. I could hear him laughing. I fell
down on my bed and quickly fell asleep.

~*~

Ring ring!

"Mmmph! Grr acka let slue..." I answered the phone.

"Really? Well, I come to your planet in peace too!" a
very familiar female voice said.

"Augh! Aug!...ANDY! Hi!" I cleared my throat. "I was
just sleeping, and the phone woke me up."

"Yeah well wakey wakey why ya sleepin'? Did I wear you
out at lunch?"

"Nah, just tired." I lied.

"Okay, anyways, can you come over and play some video
games? Jade went to a doctor's appointment, and I'm
all alone."

"Sure I'll come. I'll be by in 10 minutes." I said,
and hung up.

"Who 'as that?" JC yawned from my doorway.

"Andy. I'm gonna go over there and play some Nintendo
with her. She said JD went to the doctor's and she's
all alone."

"What? Jennipher went to the doctors? Without me?" a
pained expression covered his face. "Why didn't she
call me to go with her?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. Hey, come with me over there. Then
you can see Jennipher and you wont have to be alone
here."

He sighed. "Sure ok."

Me and him quickly combed our hair and grabbed some
McDonald's on the way over. "Don't tell Andy
anything." I said to JC. "She might think I *was*
cheating on her, and I don't want to lose her. I love
her." I said. "If Jennipher asks, tell her if you
want, but go somewhere just for the two of you, and
ask her not to tell Andy."

He nodded solemnly, staring off. "Okay..."

We knocked on the door. Andy yanked it open. "Hiya
Just. Yo Jace, I didn't know you were coming."

"I didn't want to be alone." he said, not looking at
me.

"Oh okay. Want to play Nintendo with us?"

"Nah." he shook his head. "I'll just wait in
Jennipher's room for her and listen to a CD or
something." he went.

"What's wrong with him?" Andy asked me.

"I...he...I mean...hold on." I closed my eyes.

"Yes. Words put together in proper sentence order
please."

"He...something just happened, and he's worried about
what Jennipher will think."

"Oh. What happened?"

"I...I don't know." I said thoughtfully.

In about an hour, Jennipher came back. "Hi Jennipher.
Jace's waiting for you in your room." Andy said.

"Oh really, okay." She said, and went into her room.

In ten minutes, she came back out. "Justin? Could you
come in here please?"

Uh-oh. "Uh, sure." I set my controller down.

"What you need 'im for?" Andy cracked her gum.

"To talk to." She folded her arms.

I shrugged, and entered her room. JC was sitting on
her bed, his arms folded tightly across his chest, and
looking like he might cry. Right away, I sat by him
and put my arm around his shoulders. "What's wrong
Josh?"

JD sat down beside me. "Did you and him kiss, Justin?"

I froze, and cautiously glanced at her. "Um...maybe."

"Justin Randall." Her tone of said she was not to be
messed with.

"Yeah. We did."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. It just...happened."

"Were you drunk or something?"

"No."

"Tell me all of what happened."

I was confused. "I'm lost." I whined. "Didn't he
already tell you?"

"I want your side, your point of view, your words."

"Um okay." I took a deep breath. "After me and him got
home, I ran after him and tackled him cause I wanted
to know the details of what I did and why and why he
liked it, that time I kissed him. I pinned him down
and we had a short conversation, mostly of things that
didn't make sense, and arguing. Then it
just...*happened* Jennipher, neither of us planned
it."

"What happened?"

"We kissed.

She looked at JC. "Was it a good kiss?"

He looked pained. "For the love of God don't ask me
that."

"*Was* it?" she repeated.

"I don't know..." he whined.

She sighed. "Do you think it was a good kiss Justin?"

I cringed. "Don't tell Andy, please."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Fine then yes I did."

She looked at him. "JC?"

"I really don't know." he came over in from of her and
got down on his knees, and took her hands. "Please
don't be mad at me Jad, I'm sorry."

"I thought I told you not to call me that."

"Okay Jade I'm sorry. But please don't be mad. You
know I love you and you're still my girl. You'll
always be my number one. I really am sorry...I love
you, I really do."

She looked down into his wide, earnest eyes. She
sighed. "Tell me what I want to hear."

"Moooo." he said seriously.

She burst out laughing. "Okay. I'm not mad."

He smiled, and got up and kissed her. "Good."

"Hold it hotlips, no one said you could get up off
your knees yet."

"What! Aww, but Jenn-i-pher..." he whined.

"Nope!" she pointed. "Get down on your knees and tell
me you love me."

"I already did!"

"Well do it again!"

"Yeah!" I said, teasing him.

Jennipher looked at me. "I wouldn't be doing that
Justin, cause I'm not sure if I can keep this from my
best friend. I tell her everything, and this?"

My face fell. "No don't tell her! Please! I beg of
you!"

"Get down on your knees and tell me you love me!"

I dropped. "Moooo."

She cracked up. "No you nimrod I mean literally."

"I love you. There."

"Nope. Not good enough. There." She mimicked me.

"You're my bestest buddy..."

"Hey!" JC said indignantly.

"Girl buddy..."

"What about ANDY?"

"She's my girlfriend. It's different. PLEASE Jennipher
don't tell."

She sighed. "I have to. Don't worry, maybe it'll all
turn out okay." She left the room, leaving the door
open, so I could see her sit next to Andy and talk to
her.

"Damn." I whispered. I looked at JC. He was sitting on
the floor, quietly watching. "See Jace it wasn't that
bad."

"Meh." he shrugged.

JD and ANDY came back in. Andy gave me a weird look.
"Just, did you kiss JC?"

"Um...kind of."

"How do you 'kind of' kiss someone?"

"Like this." I leaned over to JC. He scooted away fast
and I cracked up. "I was only kidding JC." I said.

"Seriously Justin." Andy said.

"Okay yeah I did." I sighed.

"Why?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It just happened."

"Oh. I-"

"But I'm sorry. And I'll never do it again." I swore.
JC looked up at me and something in his eyes made me
wonder what he was thinking. God I hate telling
stories from my point of view.

"Do you want to break up with me?" she asked.

"What! Hell no!" I quieted. "I love you Andy. What
happened didn't make me love you any less. I still
want you." I said. She still looked a little stony
faced, so I flapped my arms like a chicken and said:
"Moooo!"

She cracked up. "You are so dumb and funny how could I
ever stay mad at you!" she hugged and kissed me. "I
don't care if you kissed JC, just as long as no more
and you stay with me."

"Suggestion noticed!" I said, laughing.

"Suggestion my ass, it's a demand!" she said.

"Okay okay! Demand noticed!"

"Hey!" she whacked my shoulder. I laughed. "No more
kissing on JC! Only me!" she said. I hugged her.

"Okay." I said. I glanced over to JC and Jennipher. He
was holding her in his arms and kissing her. "Aww!" I
said.

"Cram it with walnuts, ugly." Jennipher said.

"Hey, let's go play basketball!" Andy said.

"Yyyesss!" I said. We went outside. Jade sat down on a
bench at the park across the street, and JC sat next
to her.

"Whatcha'all yakkin' about come play b-ball Jace!"
Andy shouted.

"I'm talking to JD about the doctor appointment and
the baby!" he hollered back. I sat next to him.

"Yeah tell me too, I'm interested." I said. Andy sat
in my lap.

"Well, he said I'm about four months along, and
there's no problems. The baby's perfectly healthy."

"No heart problems?" JC asked. "No internal probs?"

"Nope. But..."

"What?"

"Twins."

"Huh? Twins?" JC said in disbelief.

"Yup. Want to know the sexes?"

"Um...sure. Then it'll be easier to name them." he
nodded.

"Okay. Both boys."

"When's your next appointment and why didn't you call
me to come with you?"

"To where?"

"The doctor's, genius."

"Watch it Progeny, I can kick you in a bad place." She
warned. "My next checkup is in 3 weeks, and I didn't
ask you to come for two reasons. The first was I
wanted to go the first time alone, to see what going
alone was like. And second, because I wanted to test
your reaction, to see whether you *really* cared about
me and the babies."

"Of course I do!" he said. "I love you! I love you
and-" he placed a hand on her stomach. "I love these
children. I really do."

She looked at him a good long moment, then smiled.
"Okay. I believe you. I've just been severely warned
about men, and I've had bad experiences. Just because
you're gorgeous and rich doesn't mean I'm going to
take a lot of crap from you."

He picked up her hand. "Well, I love you, truly I do.
I'll stay with you, I wont leave you no matter what."

She smiled. "Good. You can come with me next time."

He smiled. "Okay. Feel like playing basketball?"

"Sure. I call captain!"

"Nope! Gotta bunny up!" Andy said.

"Bunny!" the both gave themselves bunny ears.

"Huh?" JC and I said.

"Bunnied. We're captains." JD said. "I choose Just."

"Oh yeah! Tall people against short people!" JC said.

"Ha. Ha. Ha." I said, dribbling the ball. We played
for two hours. Jennipher and I won, 42-38.

"Gotta go now boys." Andy said. "It's seven o'clock
already."

"Yup. Secret." Jennipher added.

"Don't you want to get some food?" JC asked.

"Nah. I'll cook something." Andy said.

JD put her hands on her face like HOME ALONE. "Oh, the
horror, the horror..." she moaned.

"Oh shut your pie hole. I can make sandwiches." Andy
said.

"I don't even like pie!" Jennipher argued. They left,
arguing. JC and I were left there, standing alone
together. We looked at each other warily.

"Hi." I said.

"Hi." He replied quietly.

"Lets...lets go home?" I suggested.

He shook his head. "Want to come to the jewelry store
with me? I need a ring for Jennipher, I'm going to ask
her to marry me."

"Oh, you are?" I said, taken aback.

"Yes. I love her, she's having my children, and
besides, it should prevent you and I...again."

"Oh, you don't want to talk about it?" I said,
surprised.

He kind of glanced over at me. "What, you do?"

"Well..." I said doubtfully. "If you don't..."

He sighed. "If you want to talk about it, I will. I
just...I feel awkward...I mean..."

"Yeah, I know. But I aint makin' fun of you, I was
there, I kissed you too, I understand." I said.

He nodded. "Okay."

"Are you lying to Jenni? You really don't know if it
was a good kiss?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I do, but I don't."

"Ah...hmm...Clarify."

"I do, because it felt good and I like it. But I hated
it because of the fact you're a guy too and I feel
guilty about Jennipher...so I don't know if I *really*
liked it."

"But you just said you did."

"The question was: did I think it was a good kiss. And
therefore, I don't know...Ah, Justin you bubble nut,
you confused me."

"Okay." Him and I walked to the jewelry store and he
picked out a really pretty ring for her.

"Hey, why don't you ask Andy to marry you?" JC asked
as he paid for the ring.

"Mmmm..." I sighed. "I don't know, she's really
young."

"She's as old as you are, genius! And Jennipher is
younger than her. She's the youngest of the lot."

"I'll think about it." I said. Could I really ask her?
Would she say yes?

"Of course she would." JC said, after I'd asked these
questions.

"You never know." I said.

He nodded. "Touché." he put the ring in his pocket.

"Where now?" I asked.

"Home." he said.

We walked home silently. "When are you going to ask
Jennipher?" I asked JC. He shrugged.

"I don't know. Tomorrow, maybe."

I pulled the key from my pocket and unlocked the door.
"Maybe I will ask Andy." I said thoughtfully.

"SURPRISE!"

JC and I jumped. There was Andy, Jennipher, CHRIS,
Lance and Joey, standing in our living room. They'd
decorated in toilet paper, and had a big sign up that
said 'don't worry be happy!-JD & ANDY!'

"Wow." I said.

"Yeah...wow." JC murmured.

"Jennipher and Andy told us about what you and Justin
did." Lance said. "Why...why...and..." he shook his
head. "Why?"

"I think he's trying to say, why did you two soberly
French kiss?" CHRIS filled in.

"I do what the voices in my head tell me to." JC said
seriously.

I laughed. "Because."

"Because why?"

"Because of...the reason!" I said.

"What's the reason?"

"Because...you're a chicken!" I said. "No, really. I
had it, but it eluded me." I said.

"Me too." JC nodded. "I forgot." he said to the blank
face of Andy. She nodded.

We had a small one-hour party with popcorn and
martini's, and then CHRIS, Lance and Joey left. "You
know what?" Jennipher said.

"The fifth dentist caved, now they're all recommending
Trident?" I suggested.

"No, what?" JC said at the same time.

"You never did tell us the actual reasons you two
kissed."

"That's only cause we don't know." I said.

"Yeah." JC seconded.

"There's a reason for everything. Why?" Andy said.

I shrugged. "Cause he was right there and I wanted to
and so did he."

"Why did you want to kiss?"

"I know why!" JC said. "Why!"

"Yes, why?" Jennipher Dance gave him a look.

"Because it happened before when he was drunk, and
both of us didn't remember vividly what it was like,
so our subconscious wanted us to refresh our memories.
Right Justin?" he gave me a hard look.

"Uh, yeah." I said, confused.

"Oh. Okay." Andy said. They had to leave then, so they
kissed us goodbye and left.

"What was that refresh our memories junk?" I asked him
after the girls were out of earshot.

He looked at me a good long moment, sighed, and went
to his room, without a word to me. He layed down on
the bed, turned the light off, and went to sleep. I
stared after him, sighed, and played Nintendo quietly.

~*~Four months later

JC and JD are going to get married now. Their wedding
day is in a week in a half. Jennipher is awful big,
and she has these weird food cravings. Yesterday at
dinner she ate a 'taco' with hamburger, cheese, peanut
butter, chocolate and strawberry syrup with pickles.
Yuck.

Me and Andy are doing okay. I decided I don't want to
get married quite yet though. We'll see how well she
and I do as boyfriend/girlfriend. Hell, we're only
twenty.

Jennipher is almost twenty herself. Today is June
12th, and her birthday is July 22nd. She and JC wanted
to get married on her birthday, but Andy pointed out
she'd be too big by then.

The BSB tour has stopped, and we're back home in
Orlando after 3 1/2 months of shows.

The next day, June 13th, a Friday (go figure) changed
all our lives forever, but mostly me and JC's lives...

It was about 8:30pm, and the sun was down. JC and I
were playing cards in our kitchen, the radio playing
in the background and popcorn in the microwave.

"Gin." JC said, displaying his cards.

I looked. "We were playing gin?" The micro beeped and
I got out a big bowl and dumped the popcorn and salt
in it.

"This is boring." JC announced.

I collected the cards. "Wanta watch a movie?"

"Sure. I feel scary."

"That's only cause you *are* scary."

"I-no! Justin! I meant I wanted to watch a scary
movie, you nimrod!"

I laughed. "I know. Just teasing, go pick a movie."

He went to the shelf at which we kept the movies, and
picked some latest thriller that was actually pretty
scary. I sat next to him on the couch and he pressed
play on the VCR. About halfway through, just as it was
getting pretty scary and interesting, the power went
out.

"Aww." JC whined. "That was the good part, too."

I yawned. "Oh well. We'll have to watch it some other
time."

We were quiet. All I could hear was our hushed
breathing. Suddenly, before I knew what I was doing, I
reached over, grabbed JC's head, and turned it towards
me and pulled it closer. I kissed him.

He pushed away from me. "Justin! What the hell!"

"I'm sorry." I said, almost crying. "I'm sorry, but I
can't help it."

"Well you better learn to help it. I'm engaged and you
have a loving girlfriend."

"So?"

"So knock it off!" he said firmly.

"I can't help it." I said quietly, crying a little. "I
told you."

He could tell, and sighed. "Sorry. Talk to me Justin,
what do you feel?"

"I don't know. I just want to kiss you."

"Why?"

"Remember when we kissed a couple of months ago and
Jennipher and Andy found out?"

"Who could forget that." he muttered.

"I really liked that kiss. It felt so good. I don't
know why. And you're my best friend. I just...I just
want to."

He sighed. "Please Justin you have to understand. I'm
about to get married, I love Jennipher and you love
ANDY. You *have* to forget it."

"Just once?" I said. Whatever you do, don't ask me why
I'm begging JC to kiss him cause I don't know. It just
felt really good before and I wanted to have that
feeling again. "Just one kiss JC then I'll leave you
alone."

"Didn't you promise Andy you'd never do that again?"

"Promises are meant to be broken. I don't have to tell
her."

He frowned. I couldn't see him, I could just tell.
"The hell you don't." he said. "You tell her or I
will. If you do it, I'll tell Jennipher and she'll
agree to tell Andy."

"Oh fine, she'll get over it." I sighed.

"Yeah, whatever."

Pause. "So can I kiss you?"

He sighed. "Fine, whatever. Do whatever the hell you
want."

I held his head in my hands and kissed his lips. I
came closer to him and my tongue entered his mouth. I
kissed him for a long time, breathing through my nose
a little so I didn't suffocate. But finally broke off
when he pulled away.

"That's-" he gasped. "That's enough."

I sat there quietly while he got his breath. Then, he
let out a shaky sigh that sounded like he was about to
cry. Then I felt his lips on mine, and him kissing me.
I was surprised, but I kissed back. He leaned over and
I fell back, so that I was lying on my back and he on
top of me. I put my hands on his shoulders and he had
his hands on my face.

I sat up, and stood up. I pulled at his hand, and he
stood up. I pulled my hand towards my room. He knew
what I meant and he shook his head no. I could no
longer hear anything, just fuzz. I pulled him over to
me and put my arms around him and kissed him. I could
feel his heart beat, and I could feel him sigh. I
pulled on his hand towards my room and he followed me.
I closed my door behind him and locked it, and
unplugged my phone and lamp. He sat on my bed and I
lay down beside him. He swallowed, and layed down too.

I smiled. In the dim light of the moon through my
curtains, I could see his eyes. He was afraid. I put
my hand on his face and stroked his face and hair. He
put his face in my hair and breathed in the scent of
the shampoo of my freshly washed hair. He sighed. I
tugged on his hand, and sat up. He copied. I began to
slowly unbutton his flannel shirt. He sighed and bent
his head down and kissed my neck.

I finished unbuttoning his shirt, and he let his arms
hang down. I pushed him back gently so that he was
lying down, and I was on my hands and knees over him.
I lowered my head and I kissed the warm smooth skin of
his chest. He put his hands up and stroked my hair. We
both knew what was about to happen, and knew what we
were going to do, but neither protested.

I pulled my shirt off and dropped it to the floor. I
put my left hand on the button of his pants and he
relaxed back onto my pillow. I unbuttoned his jeans,
and moved forward and lay my head on his chest. He
stroked my hair and I buried my face to him. He kissed
the side of my face.

I lay down beside him on my bed. "Are you scared JC?"

He swallowed. "Yeah. Scared to death. But maybe it's
okay, maybe fear is good at a time like this."

I nodded thoughtfully. I kissed his lips. "Do you
still want to do this?"

He nodded. He looked into my eyes, and his blue eyes
looked so...I don't know. There's no word for he deep
emotion it stirred up inside me, starting at my head
and traveling down to my toes, and then came back up
to the gender factor in my pants. I kissed him again
and again. My hands made their want back to his pants
and I unzipped them. I laid my hand on the new
unpantsed area and he groaned and threw his arms
around my neck and squeezed. I wriggled my fingers
around and found his penis and squeezed gently and
rubbed it. He groaned again and kissed me, shoving his
tongue down my throat. I returned the kiss while
giving him the simple ecstasy and pleasure.

He took his hand off my face and found the button of
my pants and unbuttoned them. I quickly let him go and
stepped out of my pants. I was now wearing only my
boxers. I sat JC up and pulled his shirt off him, then
lay him down and  pulled his pants off from his
ankles, being enchanted by his long, slim muscular
legs, and he sighed softly. I kissed his toes, his
knees, his thighs. I kissed the inside of his legs,
higher up, and laid my head on his genital area. He
stroked my hair and sighed contentedly.

We lay like that for so long, I don't know. It was at
least 10 minutes. I breathed quietly, he was so soft
down there, and my makeshift pillow supported my head
quite nicely. I softly and ever so gently stroked his
legs. My eyelids were heavy and I was content. I loved
him. I loved him so deeply and truly. He put his hands
on my face and we were both happy. My eyelids were
heavy and I closed them.

"Hey." JC said.

"Hmmm."

"come up here." JC said, pulling me up so that I was
lying by his eye level. I could feel his soft lips on
mine, and he was cuddling me and kissing me.

"Hi." I said. I paused, then yanked his boxers down,
kissing his mouth inside and out. He made a small
sound of surprise, but kissed me back. I grabbed his
tool and rubbed it, giving him that pleasure again. He
groaned and sighed. I got on top of him, facing down,
and lowered myself. I rubbed my cloth-covered penis
with his naked one, and he moaned in pleasure.  I
pulled my boxers down and our skin touched skin. I
spread my legs and rubbed up against him. He cried out
in pleasure and wrapped his legs around the back of my
legs and his foot touched my naked rear end. I kissed
his neck. He almost cried with pleasure and ecstasy.
He felt really hard to me, so I got off him. I got
down, and took his ridged manhood in my mouth, an
sucked hard. His leg muscles tensed. I sucked at him
more, and I could hear him cry. It was a pleasure cry
though, so I didn't feel bad.

His male liquid came rushing at me, and I felt his
hands in my hair. I sucked at him more and he cried. I
drank from him contentedly.

I let go of him after while, and took him by the
shoulders and hugged him. I lay him down on his back,
and spread his legs, moving closer.

"Want me to?" I asked quietly.

"Yes." He said through his tears. "Oh God yes."

I laid my hands on his thighs and stroked them. I
teased him, rubbing against his hole and not entering
him. He cried and said, "Please Justin please," and I
stroked his face and kissed him.

I spread his cheeks, and set myself in him. He
squeezed his muscles and I felt pleasure. I gently
leaned forward, putting his legs around my stomach. He
whimpered. I was torturing him by not doing it and
hesitating. I wrapped my arms around his torso,
hugging him to me, and he kissed me. I thrust my hips
forward, ramming up into him, further and further
entering the forbidden chamber until he cried with
pain. I rocked him back and forth, and could feel
myself beginning to come. There. JC and I were
actually having sex now. I held him to me and rocked
him. He cried in pain and pleasure, and I managed to
kiss his tears away.

"I love you...I love you..." he murmured.

"I love you too." I whispered, kissing him.

"I love you." He said again as I did him on that June
evening that he power went out.

"Shh." I kissed his lips. "Savor the moment." I said,
and fucked him harder. He gasped and squeezed me and I
smiled.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

He nodded.

"A lot?"

He nodded again and sniffled.

"I'm sorry." I said after a moment.

"It hurts..." he said thoughtfully. "but it also feels
good. Don't worry, sex always hurts the first time,
it's not your fault."

"Okay." I kissed him and fucked him harder still.

When it was over, we both sighed. I began to slowly
retract myself.

"Again." JC said loudly.

"Shh." I said. "No."

"Again..." he pleaded.

"No." I shook my head.

"Please?" he begged.

I stopped to think about it, but some unknown force
told me I couldn't do it again. Not tonight. I got
out, and lay beside him on the bed. "No." I told him.
"Once is enough. Once is more that enough. Even once
is wrong."

"Why?" he looked like he would cry again.

I looked him straight in the eyes and he swallowed.
"No." I said.

He looked like his heart would break. "No?"

I stroked his face and hair. "No. No more tonight."

He dropped his eyes and swallowed. "Okay." he
whispered. A tear fell from his eyes.

"Don't cry JC, it's okay." I said.

"But I love you."

"That's sweet, but you can love me without again." I
said calmly.

He came closer to me and buried his face in my neck
and bare chest. I put my arms around him, and he
sighed. In a few minutes he brought his head up to my
shoulder and sighed.

"Why did you cry when I told you no?" I asked.

He sighed, but held onto me tighter. "Nothing. It was
just the moment. I'll be fine in the morning."

"Okay." I said. I kissed him. We stayed like that for
about an hour after that, just my holding him and us
feeling the closeness of each other's bodies. We were
silent, and I fell asleep holding him.

~*~

next chapter coming soon to a computer screen near you