Date: Tue, 6 Mar 2001 07:48:12 -0800 (PST)
From: jennipher raquet <jennipherdance@yahoo.com>
Subject: cold nights being alone 3

Hey you guys! Thanks so much for the fantastic emails!
It helped me so much, and as a present, here's another
chapter for those of you who asked for it (Adam).
Reminder that this is a fiction story I've created in
my own head, and that it never happened, and I hope it
never will.

~*~

One week later-

JD and the babies get to come home today, and Andy and
I have to go to the appointment. JC is bringing Jade
home now, and Andy and I were quickly decorating the
house, with a 'Welcome home Jennipher and baby
Chasezs' banner.

And toilet paper. That was Andy's idea. We made cake
and ice cream for JD. Andy and I brought small infant
toys and clothes. We sat down on the front steps to
wait for their car.

(JC still hasn't given me the kiss goodbye. He's
stayed clear of me. Which just justifies my theory
that he was mad at me for some unknown reason. What
did I do to make him mad?)

Their car pulled into the driveway, and we saw
Jennipher's smiling face. Three infant seats where
placed in the back. Andy and I had already seen the
triplets at the hospital. Joshua jr. had blue eyes and
blonde hair like his dad. Sawyer had blonde hair and
blue-violet eyes (fraternal triplets) and Chandler had
black hair and blue eyes.

Andy and me went to the car to help JC unpack the
kids. He brought out JC jr. and Andy held Sawyer. I
carefully picked up Chandler. "Hiya." I said quietly
to him. He looked at me and held onto my thumb.
Looking into the newborn baby's eyes made me sure I
wanted my own child. I just looked at Jace, holding
his own son. He looked *so* happy.

"Come on in and see what we did." Andy said. I walked
in behind Josh and Andy handed Sawyer to JD, and ran
to help me carry Chandler, me being awkward with baby
handling. Sigh. I'd get used to it.

"Hey!" Jennipher said, and started laughing. Andy
laughed and told her the story of the TP, and then me
and her had to go to the doctor's and get checked out.
We said bye3 to the babies and left.

We sat in the waiting room for half an hour, and then
Andy went into the gynecologist's examining area, and
the doc asked me if I wanted to go along. Since I knew
exactly what he was going to do to her in there, I
said hell no. he laughed and led her in.

In fifteen minutes, he asked me to come into the
office. I shrugged to no one in particular and went
in.

"Yo. So what's up?" I said to Andy. She looked
confused.

"Doctor says I'm completely healthy and fertile."

"So why can't you get pregnant?" I asked. She only
looked at me, and so did the doctor. "Um..." I said.
"Why y'all lookin' at me?" and then it came to me.
"Huh?" I frowned. "Is it me?"

"It probably is." He said. "I'd need to examine you to
be sure though. She's completely fine, so either it's
you, or it's just delayed."

"What could be wrong with *me*?"

"There's only one way to find out."

"Um, what are you think you're going to do to me?"

"You need to get a physical examination to determine
what, if anything, is wrong."

"If you're talking about me dropping my pants you can
just forget about it." I folded my arms.

"Justin! We have to see what's wrong!" Andy said. She
looked like she was about to cry. "Please Just I
really want to have a baby."

I sighed. "Oh fine then. You're lucky I'm such a
thoughtful guy."

"And oh so modest." She shot back.

"Come on in here." The doctor motioned me to a small
adjacent room with a metal table.

"That looks like an autopsy table." I said.

He chucked. "Sit up there." He said, pulling on rubber
gloves. "And you'll have to remove your pants."

I made a face. "Do I really have to?"

"Yes, you do."

I sighed. "What are you going to do?" I asked. He
opened his mouth. "Wait." I put my hand up. "I don't
wanta know." I undid my pants and pulled down my
boxers. "just do whatever it is you need to do."

I won't sicken you with details, but anyway, when I
went out, I was very pale, and I felt very differently
about that doctor. I sat next to Andy. She looked at
the doctor.

"I've taken a sample of his semen." The doctor told
Andy. "I'll have to test it, and I'll get back to you
to schedule an appointment to show the results."

"Okay." She said. We said our goodbyes and left.

"Who woulda thought it was you?" Andy said.

I shook my head. "Not me for sure. But it was probably
one of those delayed dealies. Don't worry." I leaned
over and kissed her. "We'll have a baby."

"I hope so." Was all she said. I sighed.

We drove to JC's and Jennipher's house, and went in.
Jennipher had Sawyer in his car seat and was feeding
him a bottle. JC had Joshua jr. and Chandler was
sleeping.

"Hey babies." I said. JC jr. looked at me and Chandler
woke up. I gestured to him. "May I?"

"Sure." Jennipher said. "Just be careful."

"Andy, help me pick him up." I looked at her. She
reached over and picked the infant up and carefully
handed him to me. "Thanky." I said.

"So what happened at the doctor's?" JC asked.

I made a face at him. "It aint her, it's me. After the
guy was done taking a sample, he said-"

"Whoa." Jennipher said. "A sample of what?" I gave her
a Look. "Oh." She said. "Continue."

"He said after he tested it he'd make an appointment
to show us the results."

"Oh." they said.

"What if you can't have a baby?" Jennipher asked.

Silence. "We *will* have a baby." Andy said through
clenched teeth. I don't think I could go through life
without my own child."

"You sure can go without the pain of labor!" Jennipher
said.

Andy gestured to all of us, holding the infants. "But
look at you all. Holding the babies. And look how
happy you and JC are with your kids. And they're so
cute." She shook her head. "I want to have that joy of
creating life. You know, like the 'with arms wide
open' song. The labor will be over and then you have
your own children. It's worth it, isn't it Jenni?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Plus they can give you drugs and
the pain goes away. You can stay awake, though."

Andy nodded and folded her arms. "There's nothing
wrong with Justin, I heard the only way guys can
become infertile is if they're born that was or by
some weird condition. And he's only slept with me, and
I'm fine!"

JC and my eyes met. He looked at me warily. I
shrugged. Then I raised my eyebrow at him. He made his
face to 'whatever'. I raised both my eyebrows. He
shrugged. I shook my head, my eyes wide. He nodded,
agreeing.

In case you didn't understand our little nonverbal
conversation, and you never talked to someone with
your eyes, here it is:

Me: With that one little exception, huh Jace?
Him: Yeah, what of it?
Me: I didn't think it was that bad.
Me: What did you think?
Him: Whatever.
Me: Oh really? Just 'whatever'? You weren't saying
'whatever' when you were screaming my name!
Him: Okay okay. I liked it too.
Me: Don't never tell the girls.
Him: Duh! Never!

"Hey look!" Jennipher's voice said. "Josh and Just are
talking with their eyes!"

"Wow." Andy said, impressed. "You have to know each
other really really well to be able to do that!" me
and JC glanced at each other, guilty. She didn't know
how well.

"Wonder what they're saying..." she said.

Uh-oh. Better think of something fast. "Trust me,
y'all don't wanna know." I rolled my eyes.

JC smiled. "Yep, it's a guy thing."

"Literally?" Jennipher asked.

JC looked at her blankly. "No, you nimrod."

"Hey! My line!" Andy said.

He looked at her. "Your line, my ass, it's a word. And
it aint yours, cause Nimrod was an evil king of
Babylon in the biblical times." He preached. "It was
just your idea to use it. And to that, I say-" he set
JC jr. down and made a face. "Nyah nyah nyah."

She folded her arms. "Joshua Scott Chasez, stop acting
immature!"

"Why?" he looked shocked.

"Cause Justin and Jennipher and I do, and we need at
least one sane person around here."

"Since when?" he said.

"I do not act immature!" I protested.

"Oh wah baby wah yes you do." She rolled her eyes.
(What was it with people being impatient with me
lately? I'm pretty sure Andy was j/k, but
still...which reminded me. I should write JC a letter
asking him why he was mad at me and why he hasn't
given me the kiss bye.)

"Here, take him." I handed Chandler to Andy. "I need
to go home and do something. Be back soon." I left.

"Bye Just!" JD called.

"See ya Justin!" Andy called.

Silence. "Goodbye JC!" I hinted.

"For the love of God, go!" he yelled. The girls
laughed but I didn't find it so funny.

I went to me and Andy's room, and sat down at my desk.
I took out a piece of paper and a pen, and thought a
minute. Then I wrote:

Dear JC,

Why are you mad at me? Did I do or say something to
offend you? If I did, I really am sorry, and for the
life of me I can't figure out what I did. Was it
because I asked you for the kiss goodbye? If that is
why you are mad at me, to that I say: Well excuuuuuse
me if I love you. Yes, I do love you. Why else would I
have wanted to kiss you and have sex with you? Because
I loved you. I really liked it when you let me hold
you after we did it, and why don't you tell me you
didn't like it. And I don't know why you're mad.
Besides, on your wedding day you told me you loved me,
and you also said that after we had sex.

If you're not mad at me, then why do you snap at me
and avoid me, and won't give me the kiss bye? You
said-no, promised, you would, and you snapped when you
promised. Please JC, I don't want yo to be mad at me.
Tell me what I've done so I can apologize and make it
right, and tell me why you won't kiss me goodbye. I
understand you love Jennifer and are guilty about her,
but I'm guilty about Andy too. I love her too. And the
affair we had, believe it or not, made me want to love
you in that way. And I can't understand why we can't
be friend's again or anything, or even why you won't
kiss me goodbye. You know, it's not over until you do.

That's all. Sorry for taking up your precious time.

Love,
Justin


There. I sighed, and looked for an envelope. I put it
in one, and stuffed it into my pocket to give to him.
Then I thought better of it, and lettered
'confidential' on the front. I went over to his house
and walked in.

"I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER!" Andy yelled,
jumping out into my face. I jumped.

"Huh? Y-you do?" I gulped. I looked at JC, who was as
wide-eyed as I was sure I was. "H-how?"'

She quieted, and blinked. "Huh? I was only j/k. Why,
what did you do?" she said warily.

"Oh, uh, nothing." I breathed a sigh of relief. So did
JC. Boy did Andy annoy me by doing things like that
sometimes. But oh well. That's just her.

"Whatcha had to do, Justin?" JD said.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." I said, wondering when I could
give JC the letter. Then an idea came to me. "Hey
Jace," I said. "Do you still have that Limp Bizkit cd
I loaned you?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Can I have it back now?"

"I guess. Considering that it's yours."

"Come get it for me." I said, giving him a hard look.
"I don't know where it is." He shrugged, and put JC
jr. down and followed me up the stairs, and into his
and Jennipher's room. "I don't really want it back
now." I said, as he headed for his cd drawer.

He turned around and looked at me. "Then why'd you ask
for it?"

"Here." I shoved the envelope into his hands. "Take
this. I have to go home." I pulled the cd out of his
hands and ran out of the house, saying bye 4 now to JD
and Andy.

I went up to my room, and flopped down on the bed and
buried my head in my pillow, breathing hard.

In a few minutes, the phone next to my bed rang. I
looked at the caller id. Doctors' office.

"Hello, Timberlake residence." I said.

"Oh hello Justin. This is doctor Jerelstien. I'm done
with all the testing, and I'd like to know when's a
good time for you and Andy to come and hear the
results?"

"Uh, tomorrow. Say, two o'clock?"

"Alright. See you then." He said, and hung up. I let
out a sigh of relief, and set the phone down. I was
glad it wasn't JC. I wouldn't know what to say to him
yet.

Ring. "What?" I answered.

"Uh...Lance there?"

"Wrong number." I said.

"OK bye."

Ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi Justin."

I froze, and swallowed the lump in my throat at the
sound of JC's voice.

"Uh, h-hi Josh. Sup?"

"I don't feel like talking about the weather Justin.
Tell me what this letter means."

I sighed. "It means why are you mad at me, and why
haven't you kissed me goodbye?"

"What makes you think I'm mad at you?" he asked
carefully.

"Oh come off it JC." I said angrily. "You're mad. Tell
me why."

He sighed. "I'm not. Didn't know I was acting mad.
Sorry."

I ignored him. "You keep snapping at me and you're
impatient. And that doesn't explain about the
invisible kiss."

He sighed again. "I'm sorry. I just forgot."

"Yeah, whatever." I snapped.

"Hey now, don't snap at me." He said irritably. "I
forgot and I said I'm sorry I was mad. What more do
you want?"

I almost cried. "Sorry." I whispered. "I just...I just
love you."

He sighed yet again. "Don't be sad. Just...calm down.
I'll kiss you bye, don't worry. Just...wait until
Jenni and I and the triplets are settled and not so
hectic, and I can get my bearings, okay?"

"Okay."

"Alright now, Jennipher is probably wondering why I
been up here so long. Oh, and by the way, you spelled
Jennipher wrong. It's P-H-E-R not F-E-R. You should
know that."

"Well. Sorry. But I haven't seen it written and that's
just weird."

"Okay. Bye Just." He said.

"Bye Josh." I said softly. I hung up, lay down on my
bed, cried a little, and fell asleep.

~ The next day, 2pm.

Andy and I were sitting in the doctors office, waiting
to hear the results. "Hi guys." The doc came in.
"How's it going?"

Andy smiled. "Okay. So, what are the results?"

He sighed. "I won't be hiding from you. Justin is
totally infertile. He can never have children." He
said sadly.

"What!" I said.

"You cannot have your own biological children." He
repeated.

I sat back, dejected. Andy looked like she was about
to cry. "So we can't have a baby?" she said.

"You can. He can't.  so if you two decide to stay
together forever, like get married one day or
something, then yes, no children. Of your own,
anyway."

"I can *never* have kids? Not at all?" I asked.

"Correct."

Silence. Andy blew her hair out of her face. "How come
he's infertile?" she asked.

"He never was. It's a birth defect, he was born
without ever being able to produce sperm."

"And it's permanent?" I asked.

"Yes."

Quiet. "But I really want a baby!" Andy said.

"Well, there's always adoption..."

"I want to have a baby! To give birth!" She said
vehemently.

"Well, there's artificial insemination."

"I'm not having anyone's baby except Justin's."

"Well, that's it Andy. You've shot down everything
I've suggested. That's pretty much all the options for
kids for you two."

We said our thank-yous and byes and left, downhearted.

"So now what?" I said to Andy.

She looked like she was about to cry. "Um...go home, I
guess."

We drove in stony silence. "Don't worry honey, we can
have kids somehow." I said.

"No, we can't!" she said. "Didn't you hear the
doctor?"

"We can always adopt-" I suggested.

"I don't want to have someone else's baby-"

"Well it's better than no baby!" I interrupted.

"-I want to have *your* baby." She said quietly.

I stopped. "I'm sorry Andy." I sighed. "I'm sorry. But
I don't have any babies. And you're right, did *you*
hear the doctor!"

"Yes." She sighed.

"We *can't* have a baby. So why don't we give a child
without a home a good home?"

She thought about that. "Okay. But I want a baby."

"Okay." I said. "Hey, let's go now. If we're lucky,
maybe we can get a child now, and surprise Jenni and
JC."

She smiled. "Yeah! Won't Jennipher be surprised if I
just walked in with a baby!...But um, Justin, they
don't just give you a kid when you walk in. they give
you forms, and they make you wait while they check
your backgrounds and living environment for children."

"Oh." I said foolishly.

We pulled into the Orlando adoption center, and waited
for several hours, then filled out an hours worth of
papers each. We went home, and waited for a week, and
went back. They told us we were approved, and took us
into an office and handed us a tiny baby that was
waiting for us. (Just think of how much trouble they
go through to make sure you're acceptable parents if
you're adopting, yet just anyone can get pregnant and
take their kid home after s/he's born.)

"It's a boy. He has no name, and was set on our
doorstep a few days ago, with a diaper bag and a paper
with his birthday, allergies and other stuff." The
lady said. "His birthday is May 26th."

We drove home, after filling out forms and naming him
Jason Joshua Timberlake. I insisted to include JC's
name because I still Liked him. And Andy liked the
name Justin. Also, we adopted a four year old. Her
name was Michaella (pronounced Mickayla) Maria. The
people said they weren't going to reveal who her real
mother was, but we could take her.

The next day, me and Andy walked over to JD's and JC's
house. In the past week, we have bought all the kids
things. We walked in their house, Andy held Jason and
I had Micki by the hand.

"Hiya Just and Andy." Jade said absently, feeding
Sawyer.

"Hi." Charity said loudly. "Ooh, babies! More-lot's
more!" she pointed to Sawyer, Chandler and JC jr.
"One, two tree. Tree more-no four babies!" she
corrected herself, looking at Jason.

JD and Josh did a double take. "Huh?"

"Baby-sitting?" Jennipher asked Andy.

She shook her head, smiling proudly. "Nope. Mine."

"Um...did about...four years and six months go by with
me knowing it?" Jenni asked.

We couldn't take their utter confusion anymore, and
burst out laughing. "We adopted!"

"Ohh..." they said. They came over to ooh and aah over
our kids. "What's their names?" JD said.

"Girl is Michaella Maria Timberlake." I said. "Boy
baby is Justin Joshua Timberlake."

JC's ears perked up at the sound of his name. "My name
in there?"

"Yep." I said.

"How come?"

"Cause you're my best friend."

"Oh." He said. "Can I hold him?"

"Sure." Andy handed over her new son.

Jenni was playing with Charity. "Can I hold the baby
with yedo hair?" Micki asked JD, pointing to Sawyer.

"Sure. Lemme help you." JD helped her hold Sawyer.

JC was looking at me. "What?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Hi dad." He said.

I stuck my tongue out. "Oh, shut up."

He smirked. "Hey, how long ya had 'em?"

"Since yesterday."

"I hope you know what you're getting into." He said
doubtfully.

"Sure I do...um, what do you mean?" I said warily.

"Children are a *big* responsibility. I bet you and
Andy have little or no idea of how to take care of
kids."

"Um...so. Hello, I have little siblings. And she's got
tons of nieces and nephews. And anyways, you and Jenni
will help us...won't you?"

"Well...sure. But we can't help you 24/7."

"We'll go to a class or something. Buy books. We'll
survive if it kills us." I said firmly.

JC nodded. "Yeah. You'll make good parents."

"Thanks." I said, surprised.

He nodded again. "Welcome...why'd you really put my
name in the baby's name?"

I looked around, at Andy and JD who were well occupied
with the kids. I leaned over and whispered in his ear,
"Because I still love you."

"Oh." He sighed.

"Are you mad?"

"No."

"Oh." I swallowed. This is obviously becoming a touchy
subject for us two. Wonder why. We hardly ever talked
about it.

Jade looked up at me. "I'm real happy for you Justin.
I'm sure you'll do a great job as a dad."

"Thanks." I flashed a smile at her.

"JC will help you won't he honey." JD looked at JC.

"Sure he will." He said evenly.

Jason began to fuss a little. "Um, Jennipher, can you
help me change his diaper?" Andy said, turning a
little green.

"Sure." She said.

JC Jr. began to cry, and he woke up his brothers, so
they cried too. JC picked up little JC and held him
and I held Chandler. Jenni finished diapering Justin
and took care of Sawyer.

When all the babies were satisfied and sleeping, Jenni
put in a cartoon movie for Micki so she could nap.

"So, how do y'all like being parents?" JC asked me and
Andy when all the kids were sleeping.

"um...it's a lot of work." Andy said.

"Yeah it is." Jenni agreed. "But it's a lot of fun and
very experiencing."

The next 6 months went by very smoothly. Micki had a
birthday September 5th and was now five. She was
allergic to milk and cheese. Jason was allergic to
pollen and dog fur, so JC had to put their dog outside
or in his kennel before we came over with the kids.

And as far as JD's and JC's kids, Chandler was problem
free, JC jr was allergic to any kind of cologne or
perfume and had ADD, and Sawyer had a small birth
defect, one of his legs would be bigger than the
other. It wasn't noticeable now, or when he would
start walking, but would be by the time he started
school. Just about an inch or two in his whole life.
But it was definitely something he could deal with.

JD, JC, me and Andy were doing fine was parents. JC
still hasn't given me the kiss bye, but by now I'd
given up. He either would or wouldn't eventually, I
didn't care. (Actually I did. I cared a lot, and it
hurt me that he would ignore that. But...no, I didn't
care. I was lying to myself.)

The day of January 17, 2003 changed our lives forever,
though...