Written by: TVM (mrtvm@mrtvm.com)

Archive: http://www.asstr.org/~TheVertManArchive/Stories/Celeb/Jamie/IndexJL.html

** Disclaimer: This story is purely fantasy and is based on the fictional life of real celebrities. The events portrayed in this series (although I wish) are not an accurate depiction of the star and or stars real lives. Any reposting or archiving without written permission is an infringement on the copyright of this series. So in other words You damn well better ask before you steal it.**

Starring: Jamie Lynn Spears (18) & Kristen Alderson (18)

Guest Stars: Jansen Panettiere (18)

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The logo for 'The Jamie Lynn Spears "FUCK YOU" Show' crashed into the screen and then fell away with a floor rattling thump. Moments later, the following announcement blared, "This is a test of the Emergency Naked Teenies Alert system. If this had been an actual alert you would have seen numerous naked teenies bouncing around on your screen...wait, that's what you're about to see...stay tuned."

"That was certainly original" Summer giggled from in front of me and wrapped in my arms.

The TV screen then fading to complete blackness and making me think for a moment that the satellite was having problems. Nope, the screen slowly came into focus and we could see the reason for the darkness was the nighttime setting and it appeared to be Jamie Lynn's bedroom. Day light just breaking as the camera panned and we could now see that she was hugged up to someone in bed and resting comfortably. The ringing of the phone bringing a loud grumble as it woke Jamie Lynn from her peaceful slumber.

"Fucking son of bitches" Jamie Lynn griped as she rolled over flipped on the lamp on the nightstand. Revealing, as the sheet fell away, that she was nude from head to toe. She sat up and glared at the camera as the other person in bed with her quickly covered up to avoid revealing their identity. "Turn the fucking camera off."

"Answer the phone" The Mystery Girl said from beneath the covers as the person behind the camera sat it down and apparently made his or her exit from the room. "They where taping this early?"

"Bunch of bastards" Jamie Lynn said as the phone rang one last time and as she finally reached for it...silence began. "You gotta be kidding me."

"I don't think it was!"

"Shut up" Jamie Lynn said as she turned and attacked whoever it was under the sheets in the persons tickle spots. Laughing and squealing followed as the bed rocked back and forth with the action. The person under the sheets finally revealing themselves to be, Kristen Alderson, who emerged from under the covers and prompted a stand off between the giggling pair.

"Don't you dare" Kristen said with a warning finger point. Then softening her approach and giving Jamie Lynn a pleading smile and asking, "Please?"

"You are gonna get me in so much trouble with that smile" Jamie said as she crawled forward and got over Kristen's body in the missionary position as the two began to kiss softly and continued to do so for a long, long moment. Taking us to our first commercial break.

We came back from break with a crashing of the logo into the screen (rattling as it fell to the floor with a thump). Bringing us to a shot of the parking lot at the studio as two girls stood (Jamie Lynn and Kristen) kissing by a car just outside of the entrance. Softly massaging their tongues against each others as their lips were in such a perfect rhythm. The shot being from overhead. Parting and grinning at each other as they opened the big double doors to the building and stepped inside. The angle changing to a shot of the hall way.

Giving a nice view of both girls bodies as they were barely dressed on this apparently scorching hot day in L.A. Jamie Lynn sporting a bikini top (that could barely contain her perky titties), a pair of colorful swimming trunks and flip flops. That amazing, breath taking tan was truly in full effect today even in the fluorescent light of the studios hallway. Kristen, in contrast, had on one of Jamie Lynn's 'titty' shirts, one that came to just below her firm young titties. A pair of skin tight shorts that came to just below her ass cheeks and the required white ball shoes and socks. What a combo they make indeed.

"Well it's about damn time" Doc said as Jamie Lynn and Kristen stopped just before kissing once more. "You do realize Tanned Princess that you have a show to do?"

"Bite me fucktarded" Jamie Lynn said into the camera which was now in front of her and Kristen. "We've been enjoying a few moments of peace away from you."

"MMMMMM yeah" Kristen cooed as she hugged Jamie Lynn from behind and rested her chin on the girls shoulder.

"So much fun too" Jamie Lynn said as her and Kristen grinned at each other.

"UGH lesbo's in heat" Doc said. "JL the crew is waiting on you in the studio and your guest star is already here. So can we skip the usual witty exchange of banter and get right to the taping of the episode?"

"The usual witty exchange of banter is me insulting you and listening as you cry" Jamie Lynn said with a smug smile. A whimpering, fake, annoying cry being heard as Doc did his usual OVER the top act and pretended she'd hurt his feelings this time.

"You're so mean to me" Doc cried. "If I had a body I'd quit and never come back."

"He is such a drama queen" Kristen said as she took Jamie Lynn's hand and pulled her along down the hall.

"What's the big hurry?" Jamie Lynn asked.

"We got a show to do and I want it to be good" Kristen said. "I am your co-host?"

"Maybe more if you want" Jamie Lynn said and following it with a kiss. Kristen grinning as the logo flashed across the screen and took us to a few moments later. Now in the OLD Cumming Out/NEW Jamie Lynn Show studio with Jamie Lynn and Kristen sitting on the couch a few feet away from the big bed.

"Welcome back guys" Jamie Lynn said with a glowing smile. "I think it's time to officially announce what has no doubt become rather obvious by now, but...Kristen Alderson is my new co-host."

"Hi guys" Kristen said with a horny smile. "Never thought I'd be here."

"Neither did we missy" Doc offered. Jamie Lynn groaning as Kristen laughed with a hand over her mouth. "Now you best behave or we'll be forced to take swift action."

"You really are an ass clown" Kristen said in protest as Jamie Lynn laughed.

"Well thank you" Doc said proudly. Kristen rolling her eyes. "Now that we're done with the mutual admiration society, what do you say you guys hand out your fuck you's of the week?"

"Fuck you's? I don't know about that" Kristen said. "I'm not really angry at anyone. Or about anything."

"You should be" Jamie Lynn said. "The way this country has been taken hostage just pisses me off."

"Finally, JL take the floor!"

"My fuck you of the week goes out to the crazies, wackos, hyprocrites and bible thumping loons that feel every person in this country should be against gay marriage because they are" Jamie Lynn said with a fire. "I don't care who gets married and if two gays or two lesbians wanna screw their lives up by tying the knot, go for it."

"Marriage Equality for all!"

"Exactly and on top of that I'd like to start my list of people who I wish would SHUT THE FUCK UP" Jamie Lynn screamed.

"And those would be who?"

"James Dobson, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell..."

"JL he's dead" Doc offered.

"Then mission accomplished" Jamie Lynn said as all three laughed. "Kristen?"

"I just feel sorry for the people who just wanna love each other and can't because of the bigots" Kristen offered in a soft voice. "They love gays and lesbians but...you know."

"They love the gays but all they ever do is preach hate!" Jamie Lynn said. Kristen nodded her agreement and kissed Jamie Lynn softly on the lips. "So I think I speak for everyone here right now when I say to all those bigots...FUCK YOU!"

"That was so beeeeuuuuutttttfulllll" Doc said in another of his famous fake cries. "It moved me deeply."

"Introduce the guest already" Jamie Lynn said into the camera.

"Who is exactly is it?"

"Good question Kristen" Doc offered. "JL wouldn't even tell me."

"Well I wanted someone who America loved and someone who was not exactly your standard Hollywood actor" Jamie Lynn said. "So on the first episode of which me and my new co-host will share a guest, I wanted someone I've got the hots for."

"Ohmigod, she's got Ann Coulter" Doc said in shock. Kristen falling back into the couch laughing. Jamie Lynn's eyes narrowing as she glared at the camera. "No?"

"No!" Jamie Lynn said.

"Bill O'Reilly? Sean Hannity? Newt Gingrich?" Doc asked.

"EWWWWWW, fuckin shut up already" Jamie Lynn boomed. "You are one seriously stupid fuck."

"Compliments will get you everywhere" Doc said. Laughing when Kristen offered, "Soooo funny."

"Tonights first guest is the girl known around the world as the victim of the great Olympic screw job in China when she was royally screwed out of a medal even though the girl who beat her fell down" Jamie Lynn said. "I'm talking about the ultra hottie, Alicia Sacramone."

"Damn girl you did good" Kristen said as she grinned and bounced (literally) over to join Jamie Lynn. Both grinning as Alicia appeared at the top of the ramp and slowly walked down. Alicia looking smashing in a simple white t-shirt tucked into a pair of low cut Daisy Dukes.

"Welcome to Fuck You" Jamie Lynn said with a smirk.

"Nice welcome too JL" Doc commented. Jamie Lynn resisting a reply as she simply smiled at her guest star.

"Yeh, thanks, I think" Alicia said with a hesistant smile and glancing around to see where the other voice came from. All attention turning back to Jamie Lynn as her arm was now being hugged by Kristen as she stared at Alicia with a huge smile.

"I watched you in the Olympics last Summer" Kristen said in a rush. "I think I love you."

"You do? Already?" Alicia asked with a playful smile.

"She's a little over dramatic" Jamie Lynn said. "But she's harmless...unless you let her between your thighs."

"Hey!" Kristen said in protest before thinking a long moment and then asking, "Was that a compliment?"

"Kristen Alderson ladies and gentlemen" Doc said. "She didn't have to pass an IQ test to get this job."

"You know sometimes I think Jamie Lynn's mean to you" Kristen said into the camera. "But you're an asshole, Doc Evans."

"Why thank you sweety" Doc chirped and this time it was Jamie Lynn's turn to laugh.

"That sure sounded like a compliment to me" Alicia said as she drew Kristen's attention back to her and with a gorgeous smile aimed at Jamie Lynn's co-host.

"I've heard the rumors about you."

"Let's have a seat and we can hear all about those rumors" Jamie Lynn said as she took Alicia's hand and led her to the couch. Alicia ending up in the middle of Jamie Lynn and Kristen a moment later. "So you've heard rumors?"

"I hope they were good" Kristen said as she playfully pawed Alicia's arm.

"Very good rumors" Alicia said. "Exactly why I wanted to do this show."

"You heard she loves pussy?" Jamie Lynn asked bluntly.

"I did" Alicia said. "Something about a double dip she does."

"I'm kinda known for that" Kristen said as she scooted closer. "Please tell me you're interested?"

"Why do you think I'm here?" Alicia asked as Kristen smiled widely and leaned in and boldly kissed Alicia's lips. "HMMMMMM."

"What did you think?" Jamie Lynn asked as Alicia and Kristen made eyes at each other.

"Soft lips..." Alicia said in a murmur before she kissed Kristen again. This time letting her lips fall into time with Kristen's for a few long moments. "...good kisser."

"AHEM!" Doc said. Kristen groaning noticably as she gave Jamie Lynn a frustrated look. "Are we forgetting something?"

"Yeh we were forgetting how annoying you are" Jamie Lynn said to Doc. "Now what do you want?"

"I wanna meet the Olympic Medalist from the 2008 United States Olympic Gymnastics team" Doc said in his best announcer voice. "You forgot to mention that airhead."

"Who is that?" Alicia asked.

"The show's announcer and comic relief" Kristen said.

"Nice to meet you or is it hear you?" Alicia asked.

"I am not an airhead" Jamie Lynn demanded. "You're a bastard."

"Ring, ring, airhead hotline, Jamie Lynn speaking" Doc cracked. Alicia and Kristen trying not to laugh as Jamie Lynn glared at the camera. "Now that's how I like my girl, all pissed off and ready to fight."

"You say more word asshole and I'll cut your mic off" Jamie Lynn said. Surprisingly that threat seemed to work as Doc piped down. "Makes me wanna send another fuck you out to my idiot producer for convincing me that we needed Doc."

"That's an idea, Alicia, you got anyone you wanna say fuck you to?" Kristen asked. Alicia shrugging and considering the offer.

"Yeah fire away, open forum, you can say anything you want" Jamie Lynn offered.

"Not really" Alicia said softly.

"No way!" Doc said in protest. "How about those loser judges at the Olympics who screwed you blue not once but twice?"

"They where just doing there job" Alicia offered.

"That Chinese girl fell down and got a medal over you" Kristen said. "How is that fair?"

"Yeah I remember that, Doc can you do your job for once and play the video of that?" Jamie Lynn asked. The video popping up a moment later with an inset showing the three girls watching in the bottom right hand corner. Alicia doing her vault first and landing nearly perfectly on the video and then the Chinese competitor doing her vault and landing on her knees. Then the medal ceremony WITHOUT Alicia. "Fucking blind retarded bastards."

"Yeah that hurt" Alicia said somberly.

"Fine you want say it, I will" Jamie Lynn said as she rose and got in front of the camera and fired away. "This goes out to the judges of whatever shithole country who judged that. You were no doubt bought off by the Chinese goverment to hand that medal to the little fall down go boom girl. FUCK YOU! You heard me bitches. That goes to everyone of you cock sucking shit eaters from some fourth world shithole."

"WOW!" Alicia said as the camera pulled back and showed her with a huge smile on her face. Rising and meeting Jamie Lynn with soft kiss. "Thank you."

"Impressive JL" Doc offered.

"Impressed enough to let me and Kristen get you out of these clothes?" Jamie Lynn asked. Alicia nodding her head yes as Kristen joined them centerstage and squealed in excitement when Alicia took one of each girls hands and led the way to the bed.

"And with that we'll be back" Doc said as the "FUCK YOU" logo rolled across the screen and to break we went indeed. A mindless, almost coma inducing four minutes of drivel. But knowing what was coming on the other end of the break made it OK. And thankfully it finally ended as we saw the "FUCK YOU" logo once again crash into the screen and fall away with a thump. Revealing that Jamie Lynn, Kristen and guest star Alicia Sacramone were now in bed and covered with a thin sheet as their clothes now lay scattered across the stage.

"Welcome back to Fuck You and that's exactly whats about to happen..." Jamie Lynn said with a dramatic jerking of the sheets that revealed a breath taking site. All three girls now naked. Jamie Lynn leaning down and kissing Alicia as she rolled onto her stomach as Kristen slipped down the bed and got between the girls smooth thighs. The camera peaking over Kristen's shoulder as she patiently began to lick away at Alicia's smooth pussy. Drawing some stifled moans from the girl above her as she softly massaged her tongue against Jamie Lynn's in a french kiss. Kristen licking her lips as she stopped momentarily and rubbed the smooth patch of skin that was Alicia's pussy. Saying to the camera, "Don't you wish you were me?"

"I sure do!" Summer said from in front of me.

"MMMMMMMMMMMM" Kristen cooed as she now slid her tongue deep inside of Alicia's pussy and started to rhythmically fuck the girl on the underside of her clit. Making Alicia's thighs quiver and her hands slide into Kristen's hair and squeeze to fists. Her stomach tensing (six pack showing) and her orgasm slowly building as Kristen's patient style made the girls pussy spasm. Jamie Lynn kissing Alicia with a passion and feeling the girls stomach bowing in and out as her hand now slid up and down the smooth skin. Alicia breaking away for a moment and moaning wonderfully as the pleasure took over her and she drew closer to an orgasm. Kristen watching Jamie Lynn guide the girl back into a kiss and fucking her tongue a bit faster and just like that Alicia began an orgasm. Kristen's treat a few moments later was a messy honey sweet treat of the girls cum. Which Kristen obviously licked up happily. "MMMMMMM so messy."

"MMMMMMMM sooooo amazing" Alicia moaned.

"MMMMMMMM I'll say" Jamie Lynn cooed as her and Alicia parted and she rose as did Kristen. A sticky sweet mess coating Kristen's chin from her work on Alicia's pussy. A "FUCK YOU" logo roll coming just as Jamie Lynn and Kristen began a cum filled french kiss.

The logo roll, that I thought would take us to the credits, instead took us to a tight shot of a ringing phone. The same phone from earlier in the episode that sat on Jamie Lynn's nightstand. Featuring a picture of her and Kristen in one of those three in a strip booth pictures with them acting goofy. The answering machine kicking on and this being said by, of all people, Alexa Nikolas, "Hey Jamie Lynn, you home? I guess not. You're never home the last few days, you hanging out with someone new? Anyway, this is Alexa, and I'm gonna be in town in a few days. Yay! Huh? UMMMMMMM...I'm just gonna ask this flat out. Can we meet and talk...about us? Call me when you get this, please? I miss you so much right now."