Date: Mon, 10 Apr 2000 02:21:05 EDT From: MrClean290@aol.com Subject: Love Me 10 Disclaimer: Do any of yall actually read these things? Anyway!! i just spent 2.5 hours STRAIT working on this chapter! it's longer than normal, i'm gonna try to make the chapters longer! thanks for all the feedback! keep it coming! i hope yall enjoy this chapter. AJ, thanks for all the support!!! go read his story!!! Josh and Just, its great!!!! Anyways, after this chapter, it mite be a week until the next chapter, i want to try to get out chapters out for my other stories. but if i get inspired, i'll send out another one, but please read this one and tell me what you think. i'm still thinking about adding a BSBer, but please, if you havent given me your opinion about that, please give it to me now! thanks And now, onto the story! Chapter 10 " Justin!" Lance yelled once inside the store. Justin flew out of Eric's arms. He looked around to see where Lance was. He saw him running towards him. Lance walked up to them and put his arms around Justin. " Hey sweetie. Where did you go? I woke up alone, and I was scared you had left me." Lance cuddled up to Justin and kissed his neck. " I just came down to get a paper, then Eric showed up." " Well do you have everything now? I wanna go back to the room and rest." " Okay, sure. See ya Eric." " Yeah, Good bye Eric." " Bye." Lance and Justin walked back to their room. Once there, Lance pushed Justin back onto the bed. He slowly climbed onto him and smiled. Justin, despite what happened downstairs, smiled back. Lance felt good. Almost too good. Lance ground himself into Justin. Justin moaned softly, encouraging Lance to continue. Lance looked at Justin's face, he saw only pleasure, and his eyes showed love. He had him right where he wanted him. Lance got up and off of Justin. " Where are you going baby?" " I need a show, care to join?" " Yeah!" The two young blondes undressed and stepped into the hot cascade of water. Lance washed Justin, Justin washed Lance. Lance felt so good, so safe within Justin's arms, but it wasn't what he wanted, or who, he wanted. One day, he would get what he wanted. They walked out of the shower and climbed into bed. " Justin?" " Yeah?" " I love you." Justin turned to look at his boyfriend. He realized that he too was in love with Lance. Where did that leave Eric? " I love you too Lansten." Justin betrayed his heart. He loved two men. He knew one day he'd have to chose, but how was he supposed to chose? Eric walked back to his room and looked for JC, he had left, and left a note saying he was going to work out. He sat back on the couch and thought about the events that had taken place in his life over the past year. September 1999 " Jase, you make me so happy." " I do, do I?" " You know you do babe." " I love you too." " I didn't say I loved you." Jase reached behind him and grabbed a pillow. He swung with full force at his boyfriend on seven years. They rolled around on the bed laughing for the rest of the day. Eric, whenever he thought of Jason, would smile, like a little kid high on sugar candy. Even when they roughhoused, he would smile like there was no tomorrow. " And what are you smiling at?" " You." " Ah." Jason got out of bed and walked to the den. He watched Eric slowly walked out of the bedroom and followed him. Jason loved Eric, with his entire being. There was no part of him that told him that Eric was not his soul mate. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Jason turned to look at Eric. His hair was standing up, and his face, overrun by stubble. " You know, when I said I liked a five o'clock shadow, I meant I liked it at five." Jason smiled at his boyfriend. " You know, if you weren't so damn sexy, I might have to come over there and annoy you!" " And why don't you?" " Because I'm hungry. I need a quick snack." " Eat me baby, you know I'm tasty." " Yeah yeah, well as sweet as your cum is, its not all that healthy." Eric said with a smile. " Excuse me!" " Come here you." Jason walked to Eric and Eric pulled him into a passionate kiss. Their tongues swirled together. Jason pulled at Eric's shirt. He slowly lifted it up and over Eric's body then head. Eric stepped back to allow Jason access to his boxers. Jason slipped them down his lover's legs and fell to his knees. In one fell swoop; Jason engulfed all of Eric's 9 inches. Eric moaned loudly. " Jesus Jase, I love you!" In response, Jason began to kneed Eric's ass with his fists. He brought a finger to his mouth and sucked on it as he sucked on his lover's cock. The sensations of knowing what was coming next sent Eric very close to the edge. Jason could sense the tightening in his balls and withdrew his finger from his mouth. He made sure it was wet enough and quickly rammed it into Eric's hole. Eric screamed out in pleasure. As Jase inserted a second finger, Eric shot his load into his boyfriend's mouth. Jason gladly and eagerly swallowed it all. As Eric's cock softened, Jason removed his mouth. He stood and wiped his mouth. " Now that's what I call I quick snack." ~~ Jason made a small snack for him and Eric. They were going to his sister's for dinner and the weekend, so he didn't want to ruin their appetite. Jason thought of the past seven years. >From the moment Ruby introduced them, they had clicked. They were made for each other. Jason wanted to spent eternity with him. He wanted to marry him. Jason and Eric left the house at four to get to Ruby' by seven. Traffic was bad enough never mind the two hours of driving from Philly to the New York City. The two men packed the trunk and climbed into Eric's Blazer. Once on the highway, they had to have one of their usual fights on what kind of music they were going to play. Jason wanted NSYNC, Eric wanted Silverchair. They settled on Savage Garden. " I don't see how this is a compromise." " Lets see, because you know I don't like your headache making shit, and you don't like my Pop star shit, this is the middle.' " Whatever." About thirty seconds into " Break me Shake me," Eric noticed that Jason was staring out into space. Keeping his eyes on the road, he reached over and picked up Jason's hand in his. Jason was shook of his thoughts, turned to Eric, and smiled. " Is anything wring baby?" " No, why?" " Well, I'm more into the music than you are." Eric laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood. " I've got a lot on my mind." " Wanna talk about it?" " No." " Okay. I'm here if you want to." Jason kept looking out of the window. They had discussed marriage about five years ago. Eric never really gave an opinion. His family didn't really accept his homosexuality, he didn't want to anger them with a gay marriage. Jason, at the time, understood. As the years rolled on, he wanted Eric to be his husband, not really caring about how his " in-laws," would react. All Jason wanted was a life forever with Eric. He just wasn't sure if that was what Eric wanted. He bent his head back on the seat and closed his eyes. Maybe sleep would help him figure all of it out. Eric looked over at Jason and smiled. He ran one of his hands through Jason's delicate curls. Jason smiled from within his sleep. " Jase, Sweetie, you can use my lap as a pillow if you want. " Nah, I'm okay, thanks though. But could you keep doing that?" " This?" Eric played with Jason's curls, in rhythm with the music. " Yeah, that." Jason muttered half asleep. " Of course." Eric loved Jason's hair. His hair was unlike any other than he had ever seen. He smiled as he drove and thought about his boyfriend. Jason was about his height, at 5'11, he was by no means short. He has dirty brown curls, though, lately, he was letting it grow out, and it was at the stage of pre Afro. Eric loved it. When Eric was sure that Jason was sleeping, he reached over to change the music. Just as he was about to reach the CD player, he felt a hand on his. " Don't even think about it!" " Me? I wasn't thinking about doing anything." Eric put on an innocent face. " Sure, whatever." Eric's hand retreated back to the steering wheel. Jason gave up on sleep and decided to start a conversation. " Eric, sweetie, can I ask you a question?" " Of course." " Do you ever think about the future?" " All the time, why?" " Am I in your future?" " Of course, why would you question that?" " No reason, I was just wondering." " No you weren't, I know you, tell me what's bugging you." " Do you see marriage in your future? And children?" " Yes. I know years back we talked, but since then, I've come to terms that my family will never accept me, so why put off my own happiness. When the time is ready, marriage and children will fall into place." Jason sat back and smiled widely. Everything was falling into place. He leaned over and kissed Eric's cheek. " What was that for?" " For being you." " Well I try." " I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love be everything that you need I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do I will be strong I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on A new beginning a reason for living a deeper meaning yeah." Jason reached into his back pocket. He withdrew a tiny red velvet box. He had bought the rings about four years ago. The moment he saw them, he knew they were perfect for them. They were silver bands with stones on them. Two square cut stone, then in the middle, a heart cut diamond. The two stones were their birthstones. Garnet for his month, Sapphire for Eric's. " I wanna stand with you on a mountain I wanna bathe with you in a sea I wanna lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me." Jason looked over at Eric. He driving and bopping his head along with the music. For Eric to enjoy music that was not of his tastes was a beautiful thing to see. Jason knew he would rather be listening to music that gave the world a migraine, but he admired his willingness to compromise. " And when the stars are shinning brightly in the velvet sky I make a wish and then to heaven and make you want to cry The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty That were surrounded by the comfort and protection Of the highest powers in lonely hours The tears devour you." Jason curled his fingers around the box. He wanted to do this soon, but he didn't know how to make it perfect. Their love was something so powerful, he sometimes thought Eric knew what he was thinking even before he thought it. " I wanna stand with you on a mountain I wanna bathe with you in a sea I wanna lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me." Eric looked over at Jason. He was deep in thought. Eric loved that. Jason could sit still for hours and just think. Sometimes they would lay in bed together, for hours, and just enjoy the comfortable silence that passed between them. " Oh can you see it baby Don't have to close your eyes Sit still and right before you All that you need will, surely come." Eric strummed his fingers on the wheel as the music continued. He hated this kind of music, but when he listened to it with Jason, for Jason, it was different. He actually listened to the words of the songs when he was with Jason. He didn't just pass it off as Pop star shit. Sometimes, he actually found meaningful messages in the songs. " I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love be everything that you need I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do." Jason slipped the box back into his pocket. The right time was coming. He could feel it. He looked over again, this time studying the face of the man he loved so much. He watched as Eric brushed a few loose locks of his golden brown hair our of his eyes. His hands were so graceful. Jason quickly became mesmerized by Eric's overwhelming beauty. " I wanna stand with you on a mountain I wanna bathe with you in a sea I wanna lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me." Eric could feel Jason's eyes on him, and he loved the feelings that flowed though out his body. Even the looks in Jason's eyes did things to him that he could never describe. " I wanna stand with you on a mountain I wanna bathe with you in a sea Well I want to live like this forever Until the sky falls down on me." That time was now. ( Truly Madly Deeply, by Savage Garden) ~ They rolled into Ruby's driveway at exactly seven. Eric raced out of the car and to the door. " Hey! Thanks for the help!" " Bathroom babe!' " Sure sure." As soon as ruby opened the door, Eric raced in, not even saying hello. Ruby laughed at the site of her best friend and walked out to the car to help her brother. " Hey little bro." " Hey big sis.' " Hug?" " Of course. Jason was younger, but stood many inches taller than his sister. Even so, he snuggled into her embrace. Their bond was stringer than most siblings. They were the only family the other had. Their parents had died when Ruby was a freshman in high school. Freak car accident. They were out under a friend's care until Ruby was eighteen and became Jason's guardian. She took her role as his guardian very seriously, too seriously sometimes. Even now, as he was 23, she still looked after him as if he was still 15. " C'mon you two, I'm starved!" Eric called from the kitchen window that overlooked the driveway. " We're coming Ricky." " Don't call me that!!!" They sat down for dinner and talked about what they had been up to for past two months since she was home. Ruby lived in Philly, but worked in NY, so she bought an apartment so if she was to stay in the city for months at a time, she would have her own home to live in. When they finished eating, Ruby excused herself and retreated to her study to get some paperwork done. Jason and Eric went to the living room and put some music on, this time, Eric didn't fight Jason in his music choice. Jason searched though his sister's choice of CD's and chose an early Celine Dion. " Not putting up a fight?" " Not tonight." " That's my Eric." " Haha." The music flowed through out the room. Jason poured them another glass of wine. Eric walked to the window and stared out onto the street. Night had fallen and the street was glazed over in the dim lights of the lampposts. Standing there, wrapped in his lover's arms, he realized his life was perfect. Jason took the ring out of his pocket and placed it in his hand. The time was right, he could feel it. He wrapped his arms around Eric's waist. Eric looked down as he felt something soft graze his hand. Eric turned to look at Jason. " What is this?" " This is for you." Jason opened the box and knelt in front of Eric. Eric looked into Jason's eyes and his own began to water. Jason opened the box. Eric saw the two rings and a sob escaped his mouth. " Baby, from the moment I saw you, I knew, that one day I would be here saying these words. And as cheesy as they are, and very non-original, you complete me. You make my every breath worth taking. You are my everything. When I am sad, you know, and you share my tears. When I am happy, you know, and laugh with me. You know my thoughts and my heart and my soul. And knowing all those things, you love me. I love everything about you. I know that the only kind of cereal you will eat is cocoa pebbles. I know that you love to wake up early in the morning and watch the sunrise. I know that you love to watch me as I sleep. We keep each other safe, and warm. Eric, baby. Marry me." Jason took out one of the rings and help it to Eric's left ring finger. He looked up and into his lover's eyes. Eric's eyes shone with love. He nodded slowly. Jason slid the ring on, a perfect fit. Eric sank to his knees and took the other ring out of the box and slid it onto Jason's finger. They clasped hands cried. Eric pulled Jason into his arms and hugged him tightly. " Is this what you wouldn't talk about earlier?" " Yeah, glad I didn't tell you?" " Ecstatic." They went to bed that night holding each other. In the middle of the night, Ruby came down to check on them. She covered them with another blanket and noticed their rings. Tears sprang to her eyes. Eric woke from the disturbance in the room. He looked up and saw Ruby, with tears in her eyes, smiling at the sleeping couple. He smiled back at her, blew her a kiss, and snuggled back up to Jason. ~ The next month passed quickly. Eric was making wedding arrangements, Ruby moved back to Philly, taking her work with her, to help out. Jason was working on a surprise for Eric. They wanted a winter wedding. Sometime around Christmas would be perfect. Ruby checked with the church that they grew up in. Although it would not be a religious service, she felt that it would be nice to do it there, also, she wanted to include her community, a community that had always supported Jason, and was there for them when their parents died. Jason walked into his and Eric's house one day to find it a chaotic mess. Once again, Ruby went over board in her planning. There were cake samplings all over the house, flower arrangements in the living room and every tuxedo in the world in their bedroom. He walked to the bed and tried to sit. He pushed all of the sits to the floor and found a tiny spot waiting for his ass. Eric walked out of the bathroom wearing a black tuxedo and a silver cumberbun. Jason gasped at the sight of his fiancée. He was breathtaking. " It bad luck to see me in my gown before the wedding," Eric laughed at his gaping mouthed fiancée. " We need to talk." " What about sweetie." " The surprise I have been working on for you, well I cant keep it a secret if its really gonna happen." " What is it?" " A baby." " A what?" " I called up an adoption agency in the city and they said that they would have a baby boy, ready to be adopted the day of our wedding. I know you said you wanted children, but I didn't know if now was the time, but I saw a picture, he's beautiful. But if you're not ready-." " Do you have the picture?" " Yeah." Jason took out his wallet and produced a picture it was black and white. It was a ultrasound picture. Eric gasped as he traced the small body with his finger. " He's beautiful." " Are you sure." " Yes, I want him." " I'm so glad, I don't know what I would have don't if you would have said no." " Don't worry, this little baby will be ours soon enough." ~ The date of the wedding was approaching sooner than anyone had expected. The only thing that needed to be arranged was the music. Jason wanted sappy love songs, Eric at least wanted songs that people could dance to. " People cannot dance to Britney Spears! And she is not wedding material." " And what is? Dave Matthew's Band?" " More than that little slut!" " Why are fighting like this? We get married in less than a month!' " I don't know!" " Yes you do." " Fine! You wanna know! My fucking parents wanna come to the wedding!" " Wait, you're mad at this?" " They don't give a shit about me for years, and suddenly they want to come to my wedding?" " They have to start somewhere." " I guess." " Are Josh and Emily coming?" " Yeah, they are thrilled for us." " Well at least you have their support when it comes to you mom and dad." " Yeah, I guess." " Now, can we get back to the task at hand?" " Yeah, sorry about the slut comment." " That's okay. We still need to figure out our wedding song." " Yeah, um, how about "This I Promise You", by Richard Marx." " I love that song!" " Good that's settled, and I say we let Ruby take over the music, because if we do, we'll kill each other." " Good point, I'll call her." " Have you heard anything about baby EricJason?" " Yes, he is healthy and expected to be born in a few weeks." " This is so exciting. Its almost as if we are really having this baby." " In a way, we are." " I know." ~~ A week before the wedding Eric's parents came into town, Ruby opened her home to them, but they insisted on staying with their son. Eric grimaced at the thought of living with his parents for a week, but agreed. Emily and Josh would stay with Ruby. Eric made sure to tell them that they were expected to be over as much as they could, to avoid them from being orphans. They laughed at their brother as he made this threat but promised they wouldn't leave him alone with Mom and Dad for longer than needed. " You do realize this means no sex for a week don't you?" " Then I guess we'll have to make up for lost time on the honeymoon." " What a wonderful idea." Eric and Jason cleaned up their home for the arrival of Eric's parents. They were almost done preparing the guest bedroom when the doorbell rang. " Hell hath no fury." Eric muttered under his breath as he went to get the door, " Hun, watch it.' Eric opened the door and there stood his family. Emily and Josh attacked their brother. Eric embraced his younger siblings in a crushing hug. " Air, we need air!" Josh, Eric's 16 year old brother yelled from Eric's embrace. " Sorry Joshy." " Hey Emmy." " Hey Ricky." Eric smiled at her pet name for him. Ruby once heard her call him that and only called him that sometimes to annoy him. Eric looked at his sister in amazement, she was fresh out of college, and at 22, she was prepared to make it big in the world. Eric looked at his twin and wondered how he got along without her. He looked to Josh who was chatting with Jason. He stepped out of his sister's embrace and walked to his parents. " Mom, Dad. How are you?" " We are good." " Please, come in." Eric took their things and looked over at Jason. He walks talking to Josh and Emily. He looked at Ruby and she smiled her sympathetic smile. He put their things away and walked into the living room. His parents were already grilling Jason abut everything under the sun. " Eric! This young man has informed us you will be adopting a child, is this true." " Uh, yes it is." " Fine. Well you obviously didn't want our opinion in this." " No, I didn't. because I know what you would have said. You would have denied me a child like you tried to deny me of an identity for so many years." His parents were silent. Jason looked up at his soon to be husband and lowered his head. " We are sorry that we never had the chance to know our son. We would like, if you are willing to give us a chance, an opportunity to get to know him, and his husband to be, now." " Dad?" " She speaks for both of us." " I see. It wont be easy, and it wont be quick." " We understand." " Okay." " Baby?" " Yeah?" " Was I too harsh with them?" " No, Eric you were fine." " Okay, goodnight baby. I love you." " I love you too. 'Night." The day had arrived. Jason had stayed the night at Ruby's. He hated to be away from Eric for even a night, but soon they would be forever united. Ruby went over to the church early to set things up. Emily and Josh went with their parents and Eric. Eric sat in a backroom, his body sweating. He was beyond nervous. " Ricky, you need to calm down." " Em, I cant, I cant breath." " Rick, babe, this is your wedding day. You're gonna be a husband and father today." " Baby EricJason is gonna be here at the reception, we signed the papers last week. Oh Em, you should have seen Jase's face." " I can imagine. Now. Stop your whining and get dressed." " Is Jase here?" " He should be, I'll check." Eric heard the opening chords to This I Promise You, the band was warming up in the next room. He made sure everything was perfect. Emily ran back in to his room, her face panic stricken. " Emmy? What wrong babe?" " Jase isn't here." " What?" Eric knew that he would never stand him up, so something must have been wrong. He ran out to meet with his family. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man enter the church, a bassinet in his arms. Eric ran to Ruby. She was sitting in the corner, praying. " Rubes?" " Oh Eric!" She scampered up and pulled him tight. " What's wrong?" Eric looked to the man with the baby. He placed the baby next to Emily. Emily smiled at him and thanked him. She turned to Eric and mouth, " Baby EricJason." Eric smiled widely. Suddenly he heard a crash outside of the church. Everyone ran to see what happened. Eric watched as the events happened in slow motion. He watched as his lover's car was pushed down the street. And compacted. He watched his lover die, instantly. He watched the man he never got to marry, die. He watched as the man that he didn't get to hold for the last time, die. He watched the man he didn't get to make love to, one last time, die. He watched as the father of his baby, died. He watched, as his soul-mate's car, and his heart, exploded. The funeral was the next day. Everyone was too shocked to actually believe that Jason was gone. Eric did move. He sat in his seat as Ruby tired to be string for them both. He dint have the strength to go to cemetery, no one questioned him. The next six months were as painful as the moment Jason died. Eric fell into a deep depression. Ruby took him to his therapy. She never went herself, she knew how to grieve. After four months, Eric was able to go by himself. After six months, his life was looking up. He only went to therapy two times a week. Emily moved in with him. Ruby sold her place in the city, and moved back to Philly permanently. The day she received the call from Kathy, she knew her life had changed. She called Eric, and basically told him that he was coming with her. Emily would take care of things while he was gone. He reluctantly agreed. Ruby knew that this time away from his worries, would do him good, would do both of them good. ~~ 2000 Eric walked to the window and watched the sun as began to set. He thought of Jase. He thought of Justin. He cried. He got out his cell and called Emily. " Hello?" " Hey Emmy." " Hey stranger, I was beginning to think you forgot about us." " Never." " How are you?" " I am, well, I'm okay." " Well I'm here if you need me." " I know, I just spent the entire day thinking about the past year," " Oh, baby, don't do that to yourself." " I had to. I think I have to relive Jase, to realize the opportunities that in front of me." " I see." Justin walked past Eric's door and saw it was open, he walked in and saw him on the phone, and he was facing the widow. He walked in and sat down on the couch and waited. " Anyway, I called to see how Jason was?" " Jason is amazing! He misses you though." " And did he tell you that?" " Every night!" " Tell him daddy loves him, k?" " Of course," " G'night Emmy. I love you baby." " I love you too. 'Night." Eric closed the phone and turned around. He stopped as he saw Justin sitting there, his mouth gaping open. Before Eric could say anything, Justin was crying, and running out the door. " Damn it!" Eric yelled into the air. ~~~~~~~ Well? what did you think? emotional? i was trying to go for that. Also, it kinda forshadows and hints at alot of things that will be brought up in the future. Hope you liked it and that it was long enough. Email me! ~Elisheva MrClean290@aol.com