Date: Tue, 2 May 2000 01:49:15 EDT
From: MrClean290@aol.com
Subject: Love Me 12

Disclaimer: I still dont know them therfore i dont know thier sexual
inclinations, if u shouldnt be reading this, dont , other wise sit back and
enjoy da show!

I have many things to say b4 i get to the story feel free to read them or
not.

1) To all my readers, thanks for all the feedback, it really helps with the
writing of it!

Stories to check out:
Josh and Just 
two out of five, 
nick and justin , 
nsync lance and jc, 
This I promise you, one of my new Faves!
A love like this
now or never
Intimate Stranger/Kidnaped 
Kevin and Justin, 
twist of fate, 
dont wanna lose, 
escape 
choices 
Tale of two boybands
What is love- another one of my new faves!
Becuase I love you
That should do it for my endorsements for today!

2) happy birthday on thrusday to Mr. Lance Bass.  He turns the Big 2-1!!!
Happy birthday baby!  (dont i wish he was, lol)

3) alot of people have been talking about the whole Eminem thing, and i
have this to say:

It was such a well made video.  now if you know me, you know that I LOVE
all of the arists that he poked fun at.  I am in no way agreeing with
anything he said, some of it was funny.  The NSYNC part was funny, as were
the britney parts, i dont see how those parts were any different then when
Blink poked fun at them.  The lyrics r offensive to Christina, and in what
he did to her, and what he said about her and Carson and Fred ( yes we're
on a first name basis, lol) was wrong, and crude.

But the video its self was brilliant, and it was entertaining.  
As long as people dont take what he says seriously and just watch it 
and listen to it for entertainment, i dont see all that much wrong with it.  
Feel free to disagree and want to talk about it but i dont want to be
bashed for my opinions.  thanks. 

4) i am movng to Vermont!!! LOL.  i think i did a little Dance on the 25th.
Below is a Speech I wrote on the topic, again, feel free to agree or not,
or just comment to me on it.  i want to have it posted so i thought i'd
post it with my story.

this is a persuasive speech for school


~Legalize Gay Marriages~


Tuesday April 25th will go down in history as being a day of freedom and
happiness.  On that day, The state government of Vermont in Montpelier
ruled that Gay marriages are legal.  Although they will be called unions,
now, whether you are gay or not you will be able to find a home and place
to unite in love with out someone saying no, its not legal here.

It's not perfect though.  This union will not be recognized by other
states.  How wrong is that?  It is only legal in 1/50 of this country.
What happened to the land of the free when we can't even marry the ones we
love without being judged, shunned and looked down upon.

Everyone wants to fall in love.  I know I do.  What I know I don't want is
for someone to ever tell me that the person I want to spend my life with
and I cant ever be joined legally.  I'm sure that I'm not alone when I say
that.  People who love each other should have all the rights to commit to
each other, regardless of sex.

It's infuriating though; that we can't use the same words for same sex
marriages as we do for not.  Why not?  What?  Two men can't be husbands and
two women, wives?  Who are we to instruct people on what they call each
other?

We get our morals from the bible, at least for the most part.  However, if
we block people from marriages because of what we learn religiously, what
becomes of separation of church and state.  If we don't care about one
important part of the constitution, why care about the rest of it.  What
does it stand for if one of the inalienable rights, the pursuit of
happiness, can't ever be recognized by couples of the same gender?

As for religious reasons, yes there are reasons to not allow them, but then
don't have a religious service.  Although, if one so chooses, there are
churches and sects of Judaism that do allow, and performs and legalize gay
marriages, again called unions, and allow couples the rights of anyone
else.

People who are prejudice, against gays, lesbians, bisexuals and the
transgender, have no argument.  You don't agree with their lifestyles, so
they can't marry.  What if you don't agree with the way your next-door
neighbors raise their children, are they not allowed to be parents?  How
about mixed marriages?  Are you going to tell your government to make those
illegal as well?  I didn't think so.

What is it about same sex marriages that scare people?  We are the same,
people who love and care for one another, why do people separate loving
people into groups.  People say that they are disgusting and some don't
want that around their families.  There are couples of opposite sexes that
are horrible people, but they are allowed to conduct themselves as they
like, but a loving lesbian couple, who wants to raise their family, is
shunned.  Does this make any sense?  No, it doesn't.

Who has the right to take away the happiness of love?  Unless people are
murders or what not, they deserve happiness.  Certainly, a union between
two people, who love each other, but who are also the same sex, isn't
hurting anyone.  If they are, just by being who they are, and not running
away from the cruelties of today's society, its not their fault, but the
faults of the people who are not open-minded and people who don't like
anything that deviates from their so called norm.

Love comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes.  Don't take love away from
someone who is different then you.

~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 11 recap:


JC and Lance wondered where Justin went.  The saw Eric door open.  They
walked into the room and to the bedroom door.  They stood a ways back but
still could look in and what they saw Justin was laying on top of Eric.
	

	" I love you."  Justin whispered softly into Eric's chest.
	" I love you too."


JC looked at Lance.  Lance kept looking at the couple.  He smiled to
himself.  JC dropped to the floor.  He was heartbroken.  Lance looked at JC
as the fell to the floor in obvious pain.  He closed Eric's door and helped
JC out of the room and back to his own.  He tucked JC into bed and against
his own wantings, left the room.


He walked back to Eric and Justin's room.  This time though, Emily was in
pain sight.  He passed the room and walked to his own.  All he ever wanted
to was everyone to be happy.  He was happy Justin was, but at what cost?

~~

Justin fell to the bed laughing.  Here he was worried about what his wife
would say, and it turned out to be his sister.  He opened the door and
walked to them.  Eric saw him and smiled.  Justin walked to Eric and sat
down next to him, his legs draped over and onto Eric's lap.  Eric leaned
over and kissed Justin's lips.  Justin sat back and smiled.


	" Emily, I'm sorry I was so rude before I sorta though you were his
wife."
	" His wife!  No way!  Twin sister."
	" Twins?"
	" Yeah.  Justin, meet Emily, she has been looking after JJ while I
was away.  JJ is my son.  You probably figured that out already though."
	" Yeah, but how?"
	" I will tell you, just not tonight.  I'm quite tired."
	" Alight, I'll leave."
	" You wont stay?"
	" You want me too?"
	" Forever."
	
	
	" Say you love me."
	" You love me."  Eric smiled cheeky smile at Justin.
	" Seriously!"  Justin punched him in the arm.
	
	" Ow.  But really.  I love you Justin, more than I though I could
ever love anyone again.  I love you smile, and the way you pout when things
don't go your way.  I love the way your eyes light up like a child when you
get excited.  I love that mop of curls you gave grown on your head.  I love
your heart.  I love how you will care for someone, even when they have been
nothing but mean to you.  I love how you cared for me, when I had been
nothing but horrible to you.  I love your soul.  I love the look you get
when you see me.  I love you."

	" Wow.  I don't know how to respond to that."
	" Here's a way."


Eric gathered Justin into this arms and onto his lap.  They kissed.  Justin
looked up at him.


	" I love you too."

~~~~

Chapter 12


TJ walked around the hotel.  Being a singer on a tour was new to him.  He
had become accustomed to being Britney's main dancer, that having dancers
of his own was strange.  Britney was there for him, 100%, but he still felt
so alone.


He was a stranger in his own skin.  There he was, in the spotlight of so
many girls, and as flattering as it was, he didn't want it.  Occasionally,
a guy would be up front about liking him, but it was so rare that TJ gave
up on looking for it.  All the members were polite, but they were all so
caught up in themselves.  TJ suddenly felt that maybe he made the wrong
choice in agreeing to tour on his own.


Britney watched her friend as he paced the hotel halls.  Everyone was
packing up their things.  She ducked out of the room before Joey made her
pack anything else.  She wanted to reach out to him, but she didn't know if
he wanted her too.  They used to be so close, but now, he seemed to be
closed off to everyone.


Britney walked back to her own room, and saw that Joey had dozed off.  She
looked at her boyfriend and smiled.  She walked in and covered him, and
continued to pack.  She tried to block out TJ's unusual frown out of her
mind and concentrate on her own happiness.  She was sure that TJ would find
his own soon.


Lance watch JC as he slept.  He has come back to get JC up because they
were leaving soon.  He didn't have t heart to wake him though.  He felt bad
that JC was hurting, but soon, JC would realize that it was all for the
best.  He and Lance could be together now; nothing was there to separate
them.


JC stirred in his sleep.  He opened his eyes and saw Lance in deep thought.
He thought back to the events of that morning.  He shut his eyes as he saw
his boyfriend and best friend declare their love for one another.  It hurt
his too much to think about it.


	" Lance, what are you doing here?"
	" Uh, we have to go soon."
	" Okay."


Lance sat still, still thinking about the past.  JC looked at his friend.
He realized that this too was painful for Lance, he and Justin had just
gotten together, and now, Justin was cheating on him.  JC placed a hand on
Lance's thigh and rubbed it gently.  Lance was shaken from his thoughts and
looked down at his friend.  He smiled.


	" Uh, JC, what are you doing?"
	" Aren't you sad about what happened to Justin?"
	" Uh, yeah of course I am."
	" Lance, you should be angry, I am!"
	" Yeah, angry, that's a good idea, get dressed Josh, we have to
go."


Lance stood and left the room.  As much as he loved JC, he realized that JC
did not love him back.  He thought that if Justin and Eric were out of the
way, then JC would realize that he really loved Lance.  Now he knew, that
he would have to start over with JC.  It wouldn't be easy, but the question
was, was it worth it?


Chris packed up his and Ruby's things.  He noticed that this sadness had
become more and more apparent in her actions over the past few days.  He
never asked her about it, it wasn't his business.  She got the job done,
but when they made love, he didn't feel her.  He had fallen in love with
her.  He wondered if she felt the same thing.


Ruby sat on the bus and worked on some paper work.  She was well aware of
her mental situation, but she paid no attention to the suggestions of
depression.  She chalked it up to lack of sleep. She thought, that now that
JJ was with Eric, she could somehow make happiness come to her to be there
for her nephew.


Emily packed up hers, JJ's, and Eric's things.  She left Eric to be Justin,
lord knows they needed this time to be together.


	" What are we gonna tell them?"
	" I don't know, I guess I thought we wouldn't have to."
	" How so?"
	" I don't know Just, I am afraid that once we leave this room,
we'll leave this dream like world that we are in and reality will come and
slap us on the ass."
	" Oh."
	" Don't sound so glum."
	" I don't want this, us, to end though."
	" Neither do I, and it wont."
	" But, JC, and Lance, what will we tell them."
	" We tell them the truth."
	" Yeah, the truth."
	" Justin, do you love me?"
	" Yes, you know I do."
	" And I love you.  Nothing and no one can take that away.  Remember
that."
	" I will."


Due to lack of time, TJ would not have his bus.  This was fine with
everyone; there was more than enough room on the bus anyway.  He made his
way to the bus and quickly chose a bunk towards the back.  He climbed in
and began to go over dance moves and lyrics.  He was so deep in thought he
didn't notice that the others had come on.


Britney saw TJ's leg hanging out of the bunk.  She chose the bunk next to
his.  She put her things on her bed and tapped TJ's leg.  He turned to her,
and she smiled.


	" Hey Trey, what's up?"
	" Uh, nothing."
	" You sure?"
	" Yeah!  G-d what's with the questions?"
	" I just, nothing, its nothing TJ.  Sorry I disturbed you."


Britney stood and started back to the front of the bus.


	" No, wait B, I'm sorry."
	" Are you okay?"
	" This is all so new to me, I don't know what to do."
	" Oh, Trey, you'll adjust.  It's like touring with me, just, now
you are the star."
	" Yeah, its something to get used to I guess."
	" Yeah.  Anything else?"
	" Uh, no, that's it."
	
	" Okay, I'm gonna go find Joey, wanna come?"
	" No thanks, B?  Can I ask a question?"
	" Sure."

	" Are you and Joey, together?"
	" Yeah."
	" Any of the others involved?"
	" Um, I guess you'll find out anyway, but, yeah all of the others
are involved, it's not my place to say who with though."
	" Oh, alright."



	" Rubes, take a nap with me?"
	" Oh, no, I cant I have way too much work, please stop Chris."
	" Ruby!  You are allowed to take a break, you work for us, for me,
and I demand that you rest!"
	" Please, Chris, I'm fine."
	" Then just keep me company."
	" I'll be there in a bit, okay?"
	" Okay."


Truth was, Ruby wanted to distance herself from Chris.  Getting involved
with someone she worked for was never a good thing.  She always dreamt of
meeting Chris, and yet loving him, but it was a dream, now it was reality
and it was too much for her to deal with.  She watched as he headed off to
the bunks.  She took a seat in the front of bus and stayed there.


Lance and JC ran to bus, not wanting to come in contact with Eric or
Justin.  Both took bunks close to the front.  Emily walked on next and sat
down next to Ruby.  Ruby squeezed her hand and went back to her work.  Eric
carried JJ onto the bus, Justin followed him.  they both looked around the
bus warily.  They saw Lance's back as he climbed into a bunk.  JC walked
passed the doorway and over to Joey and Britney who were watching TV.  Eric
walked to bunks.  He found two the middle.  He placed his things on one,
and tucked JJ into the other.  He walked back to the TV area and motioned
for Justin to join him.  He and Justin didn't know that JC and Lance had
bother seen them together.  Justin walked to him, then back to bunks to get
whom ever was back there.  When everyone was settled down, TJ included,
Eric stood in front of everyone.


	" This is hard for me to say, because the last thing I wanted was
to hurt anyone here.  But I also never planned on falling in love either.
But I did, and now I can't hide that love anymore.


JC, I'm sorry for leading you on.  I never meant to.  I honestly thought I
could make myself love you.  And I do, I'm just not in love with you.  And
deep down, I think you knew that.  Lance, I don't know what to say.  I hurt
you, I'm sorry.


Justin, he is the first person since Jason, to even make my heart stop and
think about what its doing.  When Jase died, I was convinced that that was
it for me.  Jase was my soul mate in so many ways.  He brought me my son.
But then, Ruby coerced me into coming on this tour with her.  And I put up
a fight, even fighting as I got onto the plane.


And I found a great friend in JC, and I'll always be grateful for that.
But, I love Justin.  And I'm sorry for all the pan and heartache that may
cause."


Eric stepped back and took a seat on a near by chair.  It was Justin's
turn.


	" I guess it's my turn now.  Wow, I don't know what else to say.
Lance, we got together for basically one reason, we both know what that
was.  Somewhere in between, feelings were shared, but I was never in love
with you.  I'm sorry if I lead you to believe that.  But I know that deep
down, you are not sad about this, so please don't pretend to be.  Josh,
you're one my best friends, I just hope that one day, you can be again."


	" Can I say something?"
	" Uh sure TJ."
	" I'm really confused."
	" Oh, yeah I forgot you just joined us."  Justin sat down on the
floor in front of Eric.
	" Well, I'm gay.  So are Lance and JC."  Lance and JC nodded to
their new friend.
	" Oh, okay."
	" Are you okay with that?"
	" Perfectly."
	" Great."


Eric and Justin walked out of the room and towards the front of the bus,
together, hand in hand.  They sat a few seats back from Ruby and Em.
Justin placed his head on Eric's shoulder, closed his eyes, and sighed.
Eric picked up Justin's hand and played with his fingers.


	" Justin?  You okay baby?"
	" Yeah, I'll be okay, just give it time."
	" Do you think they'll forgive us?"
	" I hope so."


Lance went to his bunk to lie down.  Justin was right, he wasn't mad or
upset in any way, he was happy that Justin had finally found love, but at
the same time, he knew that JC was hurting.  Maybe Lance would be able to
help him though it.


JC sat still.  Britney and Joey moved over slightly and turned on the TV.
Chris moved to a chair and worked on some sketches.  None of them knew what
to do for their friend.


	" You knew about this didn't you?"  Joey asked Britney in light
whisper.
	" Yes."
	" How?"
	" Justin told me when he first liked Eric, and when they first
kissed, and well it's a long story, but yes I knew.  And frankly, I'm happy
for them.  Justin is finally comfortable being himself, and lord knows Eric
has been though enough, I hope they are happy."
	

	" And what about that guy over there, who you are supposed to care
about too?  What happens to Josh?"
	" I don't know, I'm sorry about it but none of its my fault."
	" Oh isnt it?"
	" Excuse me?"
	" Maybe if you told some of us, or even Josh, none of this would
have happened."
	" You're kidding right?  This was not my news to share."
	" But Josh is one of your closest friends.  We all are.  Friends
don't hurt friends like that."
	" NO!  Friends don't rape friends, fuck you Joey!"  Britney ran to
her bunk, crying.


TJ looked as his friend ran from her boyfriend screaming and in tears.
Chris walked to Joey, to make sure he didn't do anything stupid.  TJ began
to get up, to go to Britney when Chris stopped him.


	" She needs some space.  Just leave her be."


	" What the hell was that about Joe?"
	" I don't know."
	" Yes you do.  What did you say."
	" She knew about Eric and Justin.  And to top it off, she's happy
about it!"
	" So what, she's Justin's best friend.  He's gonna tell her things,
in CONFIDENCE you idiot, how could you dare blame her for this."


	" She should have told me, or even Josh."
	" No, she did as she was supposed to, as a friend.  Do you even
know what that is?"
	" Excuse me?"
	" You just blamed your girlfriends for something that she had not
part of and control over, and judging by the way she left and what she
said, I'd be surprised if she came back."
	" She left me?"  Joey looked down, ashamed.
	" Man, Joe, you fucked up this time.  You really did."


Eric was glad that Justin was asleep and couldn't hear the pain that his
best friend was in.  He had over heard their conversation, Joey doesn't
whisper well, and was shocked at Joey's putting the blame on Britney.  She
had been nothing but supportive to both Justin and Eric.  Eric ran his
hands through Justin curls.


A few tears escaped his eyes as he did this.  Doing this to Justin sent him
back to a time when he did it to Jason.  Eric wondered if he would always
think of Jase when thinking of Justin.  He couldn't compare them, as to who
he should be with.  He loved both, but one was here, and the other,
obviously not.  With so many similarities though, it was hard not to.


TJ sat on the floor next to JC and watched him.  JC hadn't moved since the
news about Justin and Eric was confirmed.  His heart was breaking, in so
many directions that he couldn't follow all of the pieces.  He couldn't
even bring himself to cry.


TJ looked at his new friend and wondered what he could do for him.  TJ
moved his hand slowly, placing it on JC's.  At the touch of TJ's skin on
his own, JC burst into tears.  Instinctively, TJ moved closer and wrapped
his arms around JC.  JC crumbled into his embrace.  TJ had never seen a
grown man cry before, even though he himself had cried so many times, it
was different when someone older and real life was in front of you.


Lance watched TJ hug JC.  He hung his head.  Something inside him suddenly
told him that it was over.  Their time together was done, it was only meant
to last a short time.  It did, and now it was history.  Lance crawled into
bed and shut his eyes, trying to sleep, but flashback flooded his mind.
His mind flashed back to a time when the history was reality.


~~ ~~ ~~

	

	" Lance, I want you to my first."
	" Josh, that a big step, I don't know if I'm ready for that."
	" Whenever you are, I'll wait forever if only to have you in my
arms."
	" Thank you Joshua."
	" No, thank you, James."



	" I like this, us, just sitting here, together."
	" I like it too."


JC sat next to Lance, and propped his feet up onto Lance's lap.  They had
been together now for about six months.  Everything was still the cutesy
stage.  They dreamed about growing old together.  They were in love.  They
hadn't said it yet, but anyone who knew what love was, and looked at the
way they looked at each other, knew that love was in the air.


Lance quietly walked into JC's room and watched him sleep.  They had
debated telling the others, but decided to wait a while more before doing
so.  JC was the first man he had ever loved; he didn't know exactly what
was going on inside of his body, and heart when that tingly feeling rushed
though him.  He had a feeling it was love, but he wanted to be sure.


Lance crawled onto the bed and laid down next to JC.  Lance draped an arms
over JC's sleeping body and pulled himself closer.  JC woke from the
disturbance in the room, opened his eyes, and smiled at Lance.


	" What are you doing here?"
	" Do I need a reason to watch my boyfriend sleep?"
	" Boyfriend?  Where?"
	" Haha.  Josh, I need to tell you something."  Lance sat up and
looked at JC.
	" This is serious isn't it?"
	" Yeah, it is."


	" Josh, I know we've never said it, so maybe it was an assumed
thing, but before I can commit myself to you, in any way, I need to know
that we are on the same page."
	" And what page is that?"
	

	" I care about you."
	" I know you do."
	" No, Josh, I'm in love with you."
	" Oh.  Wow."
	" Oh wow what?"
	" Oh wow, now I can tell you that I'm in love with you too."
	" You are?"
	" Forever."


Lance bent his head and caught JC's lips in his own.  JC reached up and
lightly ran his hands through Lance's spikes.  Their tongues dueled each
other to find a new crevice of the other's mouth.  Lance backed away from
JC, breathing heavily.


	" What's wrong?"
	" I want you."


JC pulled Lance's shirt over his head, and just looked at his boyfriend
with passion in his eyes.  Their eyes seemed to be locked together.  JC ran
his fingertips down over Lance's chest and stomach.  Even the gentlest of
JC's touches drove Lance wild.  Lance reached down began to unbuckle JC's
belt; his pants were unusually huge that day and once the belt JC's pant
dropped to the floor.  Lance slowly slid his boxers down to the floor along
with his jeans.


Lance dropped to his knees and just looked at JC.  He had seen him naked
before, when changing before and after concerts, but never like this, up
close and personal.  He reached out and touched the tip.  JC threw his head
back in ecstasy; even just the thought of the mouth of the man he loved on
him drove JC crazy.  Lance ran his fingers over and along JC's still
growing cock.  When it reached its full size, Lance bent down and carefully
licked the tip.  He caught a few drops of pre-cum and observed the taste.
It was salty sweet.  He smiled as he went down to taste some more.


Lance opened his mouth widely and engulfed JC's cock with his lips.  He
swirled his tongue around the head before grazing his lips and teeth along
the shaft.  He reached up and slowly began to fiddle with JC's balls.  He
breathed in the scent that was JC.  He was finally where he should be,
making love to the man he loved.


JC had to steady himself using the wall that was behind him.  He threw back
his head in ecstasy.  He watched as his lover's head bobbed up and down on
him, as if he was sucking on a lollipop.


	" Baby, I'm so close!"


JC screamed out in a passionate growl as he released himself into Lance's
warm and awaiting mouth.  Lance stood back up and kissed JC.  Together,
their hands clasped each other, and roamed all over the sweat covered
bodies.  JC back away slightly to turn on some music, but quickly returned
to Lance's embrace.


	" I try but I can't seem to get myself
	To think of anything
	But you
	Your breath on my face
	Your warm gentle kiss I taste
	The truth
	I taste the truth
	You know what I came here for
	So, I won't ask for more."


	" Lance, make love to me."
	" You sure?"
	" Love me Lance."
	" Forever."


JC led Lance to the bed.  JC laid back his head cushioned by the pillows.
Lance crawled up onto the bed with him and began to slowly trace every line
with his fingers.  JC wriggled and laughed at Lance's touch.


	" What are you doing?"
	" Foreplay baby!"  Lance grinned at his eyes closed lover.
	" I love you James."
	" I love you Joshua."


	" I wanna be with you
	If only for a night
	To be the one who's in your arms
	And holds you tight
	I wanna be with you
	There's nothing more to say
	There's nothing else I want more than to feel
	This way
	I wanna be with you yeah."


Lance positioned himself above JC and parted his legs.  He reached over and
grabbed the condom and lube that were next to the bed.  He quickly put it
on and rubbed some of the cool gel in and around JC's puckered hole.  He
inserted two fingers at once, to loosen him up.  JC bucked his hips at this
new sensation.


	" Is this okay?"
	" Don't ever stop."


Lance removed his fingers, but quickly replaced them with the tip of his
cock.  JC moaned at the touch.  As Lance slid into him, he could see JC
wince in pain.


	" Baby?  Am I hurting you?"
	" It'll be better soon, keep going."


Lance went as far as he could into his lover.  He slid back out, leaving
only the tip inside JC, then thrust in again.  The pain had left JC's body
and he was now filled with such an intense passion, one he had never
thought existed before this point in time.  Lance kept with it, sweating
ferociously, then before he knew it; he filled his lover with his sweet
liquids.  He slid out of JC and slipped out of the condom.  He turned back
and crawled onto JC's chest.


	" Damn Lance!  If I had known you were that good, we would have
been doing this a lot sooner."
	" Yeah."
	" Hey, cheer up.  I know what you need."
	" You do, do you?"


JC flipped Lance over and without warning thrust into Lance's tight hole.

	" Jesus, fucking Ahhh."
	" Sorry, couldn't wait to put on anything."
	" Yeh, yeah, that's okay."
	" Thought it would be."


JC covered Lance's mouth with his own and kissed him, pushing his tongue
deeper with each thrust he took.  Lance had hardened up again as JC pushed
into him deeper.  They climaxed together.  Their bodies were drenched in
sweat and sex.  They fell back onto the bed together laughing.


	" We should do this, all the time."
	" All the time?"
	" Yes."


Lance laid his head down on JC's chest and listed to the rise and fall of
his lover's chest.  They both were so close to sleep when they heard the
door creak open.  They didn't look up, just kept holding each other.


	" So, I hold you tonight like I would
	If you were, mine to hold
	Forever more
	And I'll savor each touch that I wanted so much to feel before
	To feel before
	How beautiful it is
	Just to be like this."


Joey and Chris crashed into the room, and saw the sleeping lovers.  Chris,
not being able to keep quiet began to yell.


	" Oh my god, oh my god, what the fuck, you two, are oh god, I oh
what the fuck is this?"


Lance and JC shot up and out of bed.  JC grabbed his boxers and clothes and
ran to the bathroom.  Lance quickly composed himself and slipped his jeans
on.  He looked at his friends, who were still in shock.


	" Uh, guys, this probably isn't the best time, but I'm gay.  So is
JC."
	" Yeah, I, yeah I see.  Are you two lovers, in love man, I don't
know."
	" Well-."
	" No!  We're not; it was nothing don't worry about it guys.  I
guess we had too much to drink, and kinda just fell into bed."
	" So you're not gay?"
	" Oh I am but Lance isn't my type.  He's girlie, I need a manly
man.  So don't worry."
	" Yeah, I don't see you two together either.  Well we
	" I'll leave now, sorry."


Lance looked back at JC who was collecting his things.


	" Did you mean that?"
	" We can't be together Lance, it would never work.  What we had was
nice, but that's all, one time, our firsts, it was nice, I have to go now."
	" But, please, Josh, we have to be together, I cant live without
you."
	" You're gonna have to learn to huh?"
	" Please!  Joshua, why are you doing this?
	" Doing what?"
	" Leaving me."
	" We were never really together, now please, Lance, leave my room
before Justin gets back, I don't need him to see this."
	" But-."
	" No.  Good bye Lance, see you in rehearsal."
	" I love you Josh, I always will, someday, you're gonna remember
this, and realize you love me too, but by then, it might be too late."
	" GET OUT!"


Lance walked out the room and sunk to the floor, he put his head in his
hand and cried.  He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up.  Justin
stood above him, smiling.


	" Hey man, what's up?"
	" NOTHING!  LEAVE ME ALONE!"
	" Lansten, man, you're crying, why?"
	" Jesus, Justin, I said, leave, now please."  Lance began to cry
again, somehow managing to get his words out.
	" But, okay well if you need me, I'm here for you bro."


Lance peered into the room as Justin went in.  He saw JC lying on the
floor, a distinct sobbing noise coming from him.  He sat back and resumed
his position.


	" I wanna be with you
	If only for a night
	To be the one who's in your arms
	And holds you tight
	I wanna be with you
	There's nothing more to say
	There's nothing else I want more than to feel
	This way
	I wanna be with you yeah."


The next morning, JC acted politely towards Lance.  He never looked him in
the eyes though.  He never acted like anything more than member of the band
from that point on.  Chris and Joey had a sinking feeling what had happened
but didn't interfere.  Lance and JC came out to Justin that morning, he was
okay with it, but he too sensed the distance that JC put between him and
Lance.  He wished he could help, but it wasn't his place.  The question was
whose place was it?


	" Ohh... baby I can't fight this feeling anymore
	Drives me crazy when I try to
	So, call my name
	Take my hand
	Can make my wish baby
	Your command yeah."


With each tour, and each album that they did, the outside world would never
have been able to guess that within the groups were two individuals that at
the same time loved each other, but hated each other so much.  Lance hated
JC for pushing him away, JC hated Lance because he loved Lance.  It didn't
make sense, but he forced himself to hate Lance so much, that the idea of
loving him repulsed him.  When deep inside, when he saw Lance hug anyone,
he was jealous.  But he couldn't let that get in the way of NSYNC.  When
Eric came around, he figured he was a great guy, and the one to make Lance
disappear, when really, he was the one to force Lance back into his life,
and his heart.


JC hugged TJ tighter.  What else could he do?  No one else was there.
Justin had Eric, Joey and Britney had each other, for the most part, Chris
had Ruby.  Lance was there for him; he was just too stubborn to let him in.
Why couldn't he swallow his pride and let him in?  He wanted to be with
Lance, but he didn't have the strength to put into a relationship.  He
didn't want to hurt him this time as he had the last.  He thought no
relationship is better than one that ends in hurt.  Why it had to end in
hurt was beyond him, but he just assumed that it would.


TJ comforted JC as he cried himself to sleep in his arms.  He lifted him up
and walked him to his bunk and tucked him in.  TJ knew that JC loved
someone.  He just wished that someone loved him back.


Lance watched as TJ walked back to the kitchen, alone.  Lance crawled out
of his bed and walked to JC's.


	" Please, please don't shut me out this time, I love you so much."
Lance felt the tears run down his face.


JC turned in his sleep and faced Lance.  From within his dreams he muttered
something aloud.


	" Lance."
	" Josh?"  Lance heard him and took his hand, he realized JC was
sleeping but still, he had to feel him.
	" Love me."  JC whispered into the air.
	" Forever Josh, forever."


JC smiled faintly.  Lance kissed JC's hand and watched him sleep


	" I wanna be with you
	There's nothing more to say
	There's nothing else I want more than to feel
	This way
	I wanna be with you
	Oh yeah
	I wanna be with you
	Wanna be with you
	Yeah I wanna be, I wanna be with you yeah I wanna be, I wanna be
with you
	I wanna be with you yeah I wanna be with you."


(I wanna be with you, Mandy Moore, from the Center Stage soundtrack.)
~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, it took me awhile to figure out what i wanted from this chapter, 
but i think i got it.  what do you think?
Email me!!! i love getting mail, and i dont get much real mail!!!!  
thanks much. 
~ Elisheva 
MrClean290@aol.com