Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 17:40:01 -0500 From: Adam Irwin Subject: Reaching Out 3 Last time on Reaching Out JC turned, to see Chris and Lance staring. Neither of them knew what to do, what to say. They both stood still, silent, almost as if they weren't even aware of where they were at the moment. JC stared back at them, he too didn't know what to do. But his mind was racing with feelings, feelings he couldn't control. "What the fuck are you doing? Get your stuff. We have to be their." JC rushed into the house quickly, Chris and Lance stayed still. With in a minute JC was back outside, his keys and coat in his hands. Joey and Lance realized what was really going on, and jumped into his car, as JC pulled off down the road en route to the hospital in Orlando. ------------- "Where's Justin Timberlake?" JC ran straight to the reception desk in the hospital, quickly questioning the placement of his friend. "I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need to know more then a name." "He was just brought in, it was a 911 call. Um, curly, blond hair, blue eyes." Lance didn't know what else to say about his friend. He would have left the description up to JC, but JC didn't say a thing after she told him that they needed more then a name. "Was it a suicide attempt?" The receptionist asked, stopping on a sheet of paper on the desk. "I think, probably a stomach pumping." Chris replied, shuddering at the word suicide. He still didn't want to believe, neither did Lance, neither did JC. Especially not JC. "He's in the emergency room, his stomach is being pumped. If you wouldn't mind following the nurse right their, she'll take you to a quiet waiting room reserved for your privacy." The nurse that the receptionist had pointed to slowly escorted them to the waiting room she had spoke about, leaving them in silence. --------------- "Is Britney their?" Chris spoke into the phone in his most serious voice. He knew that they all expected him to be a joking man, and his biggest fear was that they would think he wasn't telling the truth. "Hey Chris." Britney replied cheerfully, and Chris once again felt fear coming into play. He didn't want to be the one that told her. "Um, Britney, I've got some bad news." Chris didn't know how to start, he didn't know how anyone could explain this sort of thing to a friend. "What? What happened?" Britney's nervousness was evident in her voice. "Justin, he tried to kill himself." The line was silent, the room Chris sat in was silent. Mostly because he was by himself, but even the clock seemed to have stopped ticking. The only thing that could be heard was the heartbeats of the two friends. "He's alright isn't he? I mean, he's not dead." "We don't know, he's still in the emergency room. They're, they're pumping his stomach." "Oh my god, I'll be their soon. I'm coming now, I'm coming." Britney hung up just like that, leaving Chris alone. Chris clicked off the phone, and looked around the room. He had managed to call everyone that would need to know quickly. That list included Justin's two sets of parents, Joey and Dani who had remained at the apartment, and Britney. They were all on their way, which meant Justin's mother and step-father should arrive soon, along with Joey and Dani. He also knew that Britney would arrive within half an hour, since she was the last to be informed. But Justin's father and step-mother along with his two step-brothers would not arrived for a day at least, being that they lived in Tennessee. -------------- Meanwhile in the cafeteria of the hospital, Lance is having a hard time keeping JC calm. "I can't take this. I wanna go back to the room. I need to be their when they tell us whats going on. I need to be their when Lynn comes. I have to know." In front of his own eyes, Lance was witnessing one of the first times JC had ever really broken down. Not just a yell, but in front of him JC was crying out in worry. "It's okay Josh. Justin's gonna make it, he's tough. He'll pull through. Come on, we'll go wait if you want." Lance knew it was the only thing that would keep JC even remotely happy. Happy for the situation they were in. --------------- "Where is he? Is he alright?" Lynn Harless rushed into the waiting room she had been directed to her. Her husband and Justin's step-father, Paul, was only seconds behind her. "We don't know yet Lynn. They haven't talked to us yet." Lance's solemn face, and his solemn voice answered for her. The room was silent now. Just waiting, nothing to do, but wait. Joey and Dani arrived shortly, and Britney not long after them. Soon they all were sitting in the room in silence. None of them spoke, only tears filled the room, echoeing off the walls a forbidding noise. None of them wanted to break it, none of them knew how to break it. Dani cried in Chris' arms, Chris kept a strong face, but it was obvious that he wanted to cry. Lance was asleep, his face was evident of pain and discomfort. Britney was crying softly, her head lain on Joey's shoulder as he ran his own fingers through his hair. Lynn and Paul Harless were holding hands, silently repeating a prayer over and over again. And next to them, with blank expressions on his face sat JC. It was almost as if he wasn't their, wasn't aware of what was going on. But they all knew that he was the most aware, the most worried, the most afraid of what they were waiting for. News on Justin's health. "I'm sorry to keep you all waiting. Their was another patient rushed in and I had to tend to him before I could get by. Are you all family?" A young man, no older then 30 stood before them in a doctor's coat." "We are all close enough to family." Joey replied, as he shook Lance. Lance woke up, noticing the doctor he rubbed his eyes quickly, wanting to be wide awake for the news. "Justin is doing fine now. We've pumped his stomach, and we are sure that we've removed all the pills from his system. You can see him whenever you'd like, but he is not awake, the anesthetic hasn't worn off yet. But I'm going to tell you that he does have a tube in his nose to breath, he was unconcious for a while and we want to make sure that he gets enough air to his brain." "But we can see him right?" Britney asked, her tears now gone. The other's couldn't pin point it, but it almost sounded like anger was in her voice. "Yes, you can see him. But I would suggest that you see him one at a time, two at most. And I would probably limit only one visit for right now. So who ever is closest to him should be the first to visit." The doctor walked out of the room leaving them all with a tough decision. They were all so close to Justin, but they knew that the choices were limited to Justin's parents, Britney or JC. "You two can go in. You're his parents." JC spoke with disappointment, but he was not going to take the rights away from Justin's parents. They deserved to see him first, he was their son. "No, you're the closest to him Joshua. You got him here, you should be the first one to see him." JC jumped up with the words, he was shocked that they would allow him to be the first. "Thanks." JC didn't know what else to say as he walked out of the room. But he did know that he had forgotten to find out what room Justin was in. Heading for the desk, and stopped and looked at the receptionist sitting behind it. "Excuse me, what room is Justin Timberlake in?" "Um, hold on." After a second of checking, she turned to face him. "219, right down the hall and on the left." "Thanks." JC nodded his head at her, and took off quickly for the room. He slid the door open quietly and slowly. Afraid to see his friend of so long in the hospital. But he did realize that he had been in the hospital for hours, and it was only now that he was beginning to get his familiar feeling of fear when it came to doctors and hospitals. But he pushed past the fear, and walked to the side of the bed. Justin was sleeping, his head propped up on three pillows, his hair a mess, and his body adorned in a hospital gown instead of his regular street clothes. "Oh Justin. Why the fuck would you do this to us? To yourself? What the hell were you thinking?" JC wanted to cry, he wanted to hit Justin, he wanted to hit himself. But he just stood still shaking his head in disbelief that he was really looking at his friend's body, only hours after he had tried to kill himself. "josh" The small voice caught him off guard, but he grabbed Justin's hand and squeezed it for reassurance. "I'm here Justin." JC's voice was full of so many emotions, that he knew Justin, for one of the first times, would not be able to decipher how he was truly feeling. "Where am I?" Raising himself up a little, Justin squinted to get a better glimpse of the room. "Why are you here?" "Because I love you, I'm your best friend, why wouldn't I be here?" JC asked out of confusion, unsure of what Justin was talking about. "No, I mean, you didn't die." Justin added, still trying to focus his eyes on the settings of his surroundings. "And neither did you. You're lucky, we're all lucky, I don't know what we would've done with out me." JC smiled, happy to realize that Justin was alive. "You would've replaced me in the band. You all would've found some one and been happy, you would've forgotten about me." Justin replied to JC, no emotion came from Justin's voice, no emotion showed on his face. And it was JC's turn to find it hard to find one. "We never could have replaced you Justin. I don't know what's been going on with you lately. I wish I did, I want to be here for you. I want you to come to me like you used to. But if you tried killing yourself, maybe you couldn't turn to anyone." JC released the hand he had been holding, and took a seat in the corner of the room. "You wanna know what's going on JC?" Justin asked with anger in his words, as they came hissing out of his mouth. JC just shook his head, waiting to hear something that he wasn't expecting. "I've been getting drunk every night, it was only last night that I got caught. I do drugs Josh, I've done so many, so many different types. And I do it because I'm afraid, I'm afraid of losing every body. I'm afraid of what you all think, afraid of the truth." Justin was now in tears, and JC was sitting in shock. He made no attempt to get up and comfort Justin, he couldn't do anything but sit in shock. "They accepted me when I came out. What could be worse of a secret then that?" JC asked, the first thing that popped into his head. "Not them really, you Josh. It's you that I don't want to lose. I need you more then anyone in my life. Your my best friend, that's it, that's all I'll ever be to you, but I love you. I love you." Justin was whispering as he finished. His tears stung his face, dripping off onto the bed. The tube in his nose was bothering him as he sniffled back sobs and more tears. "I love you too Justin. But, what do you mean that we'll only be best friends? Do you want it to be more then that?" "yeah" The answer was meek, timid, and practically not even there at all. Justin didn't look up, if he had he would have seen that JC was coming closer to him. Had he been paying attention he would have seen his bestfriend of 8 years standing over him, watching him with love. "Justin, look at me." Justin didn't move on the request, he kept his eyes staring at the sheets that wrapped around him in the bed. "Justin, look at me." The demand was more comanding, and Justin timidly looked up. "You hate me, if you hate me you can. I should have told you earlier, god, I should've told you when you came out. I'm so fucked up Josh. You don't understand, I can't take this any more. I'm missing so much, and I don't even know what it is that I want that I'm missing." "Justin, please, just let me talk for a minute." JC held back in laughter. "You're right, you should have told me earlier. But it's not too late. I'm still here, and thank God you are too. I love you Justin, in every way you love me. And since it doesn't look like you are going to ask, do you want to be my boyfriend Justin?" Justin's eyes had already welled up with tears from his own rambling, but after JC's words come out, he just let them all out. "Yes." His answers was as meek and timid as the last yes he had uttered, but this time it was more confident then the last one. -------------- 4 days have passed. "You ready babe." JC was standing outside of the bathroom door at Justin's mother's house. Christmas Eve was a time they spent their, and Justin was in the bathroom washing his hands before dinner. "In a minute." In the bathroom, Justin was finishing up, staring at himself in the mirror. He was surprised that JC had already barged down the door, he had been in their a good five minutes. He was finding it the only place he could go to get away from any one for a few minutes. They were all concerned with his health, not physically, but mentally, and leaving him alone seemed to be out of the question for all of them. "Alright, done." Justin walked out of the bathroom, smiling at JC. JC returned the smile, and they walked down the steps hand in hand. Their relationship hadn't progressed to much, just heavy making out and touching each other lovingly in front of their friends. All of them were happy for the two, including Justin's parents, who seemed to be just happy that Justin was with some one, some one they knew was sturdy and dependent. "Finally. We were about to serve dinner without the two of you." Lynn Harless joked, as they sat down in their saved seats. The kitchen was crowded, filled with one long table, and one smaller one for the younger children. All their friends sat around the table, Justin's total of four parents, his brothers Steven and Jonathon. JC's parents, and brother Tyler, and sister Heather. Their bandmates, Joey, Chris, and Lance, and Britney along with them. It made a large group of people, and unfortunately for Tyler and Heather they were stuck sitting at the child's table with Steven and Jonathon. Grace was said by Paul Harless, and the meal began. Laughter and entertainment filled the table, and it was hard to even tell that only four days had passed since they almost lost Justin to his own turmoil. But only Britney knew that the problems weren't over, she could tell that he was probably still doing the drugs whenever he was alone, probably in the bathroom. "What are everyone's plans for Christmas?" Randall Timberlake brought up the holiday looking around the room. He knew the answers that would come from the Chasez's and the Harless', because the three families were spending the holiday together in the Harless Residence, but he questioned Justin's friends, not knowing thier plans. "Um, I'm going up to Pittsburgh." Chris answered, not even looking up from his food. "To my parent's house, which remains, my mother apologizes that she couldn't make it. But the in-laws are in it." Britney answered next, laughing at saying the in-laws. "What about you Lance?" "Um, back to Mississippi." "I'm staying right here, my parents are coming to my house, so are Janine and Steve. It's really cool, cuz I get to host everything this year." Joey smiled triumphantly, which got a big laugh from the whole table, excluding the child's table who couldn't really hear what was going on at the large table. "Well that sounds nice Joseph. Just don't screw up, the first time is always the hardest." Lisa Timberlake said. "Oh don't worry, I'm not about to. I'm going to make this the best Christmas my family has ever seen. Ya know, it's gonna be the bomb." "Good luck." JC teased under his breathe, getting the table into laughter again. "Can I be excused for a minute?" Justin asked out of no where, but his mother just nodded. Justin slowly pushed his chair back, and turned from the room. He walked slowly out of viewing distance, and then pounced up the stairs. Rushing into the bedroom. Rummaging through his bag, he found what he was looking for. He had hidden a bag of acid inside his glasses case. Opening the case, he pulled out the bag, and opening the bag he pulled out what he was looking for, one pill of acid. He was startled to hear some one behind him. "I knew you weren't done with it." He turned to see Britney standing their. Happy that it wasn't anyone else, he swallowed the pill. "And you do it right in front of me, content that I won't tell anyone." Britney frowned, looking at her friend with disgust. "Britney, I need them. I can hide it really good now, it's almost like I'm not even doing it, no one knows. They haven't been able to tell yet." Justin replied to her, hoping she would understand. "No, they don't know yet Justin. But what about Josh? You ever gonna tell him that you're doing drugs? He's your boyfriend now, he deserves to know something like that." "He wouldn't be my boyfriend if he knew I did drugs." "You don't think do you Justin? He loves you, he'll love you even more if you need it. And you do, you need all the love you can get, because right now you think that pill is what you need." Regrettfully she walked from the room, leaving behind the person she had argued with for a second time. The first time, he had tried to end of his life, but she knew he would do that this time. She knew that with in a minute he would come down, acting as if nothing had happened. She knew that he would turn away his drink, saying he didn't want anymore alcohol for the night. She knew the real reason was because he knew mixing acid and alcohol was dangerous. And she knew that no one else would know, she knew he could hide it good enough. But most of all she knew that she was tired of being the one that knew, the one that knew it all. Only one of her conclusions was wrong, Justin came down right after her, not even giving her ten seconds before he was sitting down at the table again. "Did I miss anything?" Justin asked, jumping right back into the conversation. "No, we were just talking about our plans for Christmas." "Weren't you discussing that when I left dad?" Justin laughed. "Yes, but we were discussing what we are going to do tomorrow, as in this family." Justin's father replied to him. "Oh, okay." Justin continued eating, and he found JC's hand in one of his under the table. He grabbed onto it, and the meal continued in relatively the same manner, a good one. ------------ "I think it's about time the rest of us get to bed too." Lynn Harless spoke for herself and the rest of the room. She was sitting in her living room with Lisa, Heather, Justin and JC. All the friends had left a good hour ago, and the other family members had gone to bed shortly after. "That sounds pretty good right now." JC agreed, standing to his feet and pulling Justin up next to him. "Come on baby." Justin smiled, and followed. He was still wide awake, one of the side effects from acid, it kept you up for hours into the morning. Something he wasn't going to be able to hide from JC. Once upstairs, they slid into the room, and Justin quickly jumped onto the bed rolling around on the covers. JC however just laughed, and walked slowly to the bed. "Fuck!" "What's wrong?" Justin asked, containing himself from laughing at the JC's sudden change of mood. "I just kicked your glasses case, maybe you should have picked it up." JC looked down, noticing that the case was open. He couldn't tell from looking down, but as he bent closer, he noticed that a bag with pills in it was lying next to it. "What are these Just?" Justin looked up, and froze. He didn't know what to say. "What are they baby?" JC asked again, this time with a litte worry in his voice. "Um, they're, they're...." Justin couldn't lie to JC's face, he had never been able to do that. "What?" JC asked again with more force. "They're acid pills." "They're what?" "It's a drug, I've been taking it for a while." Justin answered, his face growing fearful as JC's face became more and more anger strickened. "You've been taking drugs. Anything else you wanna tell me?" "No, I swear that it's. It's the only drug I have." Justin's face swore the truth, but JC just frowned at him. "I can't believe you. You know how I hate drugs, and you know that I love you. So what do I do? Tell me, do I just let this slide, like I never knew anything? Or do I handle it in a sensible way?" "I don't know, I'm sorry, I just..." Nothing came from his mouth, he couldn't explain it. Not to JC at least, he couldn't explain anything like this to JC, he could see the disappointment in JC's eyes the whole time he spoke. And that's when the tears started flowing, and the sobs accompanied them. Looking over to his right, JC caught a glimpse of the clock, and a frown passed over his face. "Merry Christmas Justin, you've made this one so great." ------------------ TBC.... ------------------ This chapter threw alot at you. They got together, Christmas Eve came, Justin's drug problem is exposed, and now the question is, will the still be together for Christmas Day? I don't know, the next chapter won't be out until the new year probably, I say probably because if I get annoyed with family then I will work on this. But if my family is decent for a change, then you'll won't see this story until the New Year. So I just want to wish every one a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and Best Wishes in the New Year.