Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2003 11:56:02 -0700 (PDT) From: John Walsh Subject: Fraternity Memoirs Part 21 Rights to this story are held by me, the author. Please do not publish or post this anywhere without my prior consent. If you are not old enough to read this, please read no further. Otherwise...enjoy! I was under the hot water of the shower, washing the remnants of my jism off my stomach and chest. My now soft dick was very sensitive to the hot water rolling over it, the blast of the water streaming out of the showerhead aimed right between my pecs, the cum sliding off my body and down the drain. Kevin typically swallowed, and I loved the feeling of my dick at the back of his throat, being squeezed by his gulping muscles. 'I wished girls would do that more often,' my slowly quieting heterosexual side thought. When with Kevin, I usually felt that I was submitting to him, to a certain degree. I found myself doing things that I otherwise never thought I'd be doing. But when he was swallowing my load, I couldn't help but feel that I was the one dominating, the one in charge. It was a strange mix of emotions, and one that I was still trying to sort out. Who really was in charge? But this morning, waking up to my dick growing hard in Kevin's wanting mouth, things ended a little differently. I'd typically describe Kevin's blowjobs as furious, lustful, wild suck jobs where even guys who claim they can't orgasm to a girl sucking his dick would be shooting a load in a matter if minutes. This morning though, Kevin treated me to a slow, long and deep blowjob that lasted a good 30 minutes. If I had to guess the longest that a girl ever spent "down there" I'd guess maybe 10 minutes. I'd never woken up to my dick in anyone's mouth. I woke up every morning with a hard on, sometimes thinking about how great it would be to have a chick sucking my knob, and jerking off thinking about it. And this morning, when my body woke and finally realized what was going on, I couldn't believe that it was happening. It was hard to concentrate on anything more than the fantastic feeling of a hot mouth around my dick, a fantasy come true, but the sudden sense that I shouldn't be doing this came rushing to mind. For a moment I thought about protesting, my mind told me that I should be protesting, the fantasy was with a chick, not a dude. But then another thought came rushing forward...this is exactly why you came here to begin with, who are you kidding? And as I said before, the more time that I was spending with Kevin, the quieter that moral voice in my head was becoming. He'd bring me to the edge of shooting, swirling his slippery tongue around my dick head, tickling my piss slit with the tip of his tongue, lapping up the steady stream of pre-jizz that was boiling out of my nuts. My cock would start to expand in his sucking mouth, but then he would back off and slide his mouth off my hard tool. I was disappointed for a second, till I felt the whole length of his tongue lap at my nut sack, starting real low and licking all the way up and around to the root of my dick. I had to grab the bed board behind me, the feeling so intense, as shivers ran the whole of my body. Then he would spend a couple of minutes servicing my balls, which is probably the most sensitive part of my body. As much as I loved it, the pleasure was so powerful that I thought my whole body would explode, or implode, or I don't know, the insanity of the fucking feeling indefinable. I'd hit a point where I couldn't bear it anymore and would have to beg Kevin to stop. "No more Kevin, please, I can't stand it." He traded off this way a good three or four times, between my cock and balls, taking me to the point of where I was a mumbling idiot lost in the madness of not cumming yet. A couple of times I reached down to stroke my cock while Kevin had my balls in my mouth, hoping to finish myself off. But Kevin would quickly pull my hand away, keeping control of the situation. The last time Kevin pulled my hand away I couldn't take it any longer. I asked him, no, begged him, "Jesus Christ Kevin," I moaned, my hands clenched in mid air in front of me because I couldn't figure out what to do with myself, "If I don't cum, like now, I'm going to lose it." He didn't listen to me right away. Instead, he licked his tongue a little lower, almost at my ass crack, but not quite. The sensation was so fucking extreme that I practically jumped off the bed. Every nerve ending flashed with pleasure, to the tips of some hairs that I didn't even know were there but could now feel. My mind flashed to Bobby, that guy from my high school, licking my ass. There was no way that I could handle that right now, no matter how amazing it felt. I reached down and grabbed Kevin's head, pulling him away from that area. Kevin seemed really surprised at my reaction and laughed a little to himself, a wicked grin developing on his face. "Please, Kevin, I gotta unload here." He didn't say anything. Rather, he answered by opening his mouth, our eyes locked, and engulfed my pole into his mouth. I watched his nose become buried in my pubic hair as he took the whole thing in his mouth. His hands slid under my ass, grasping a cheek in each of his hands, pushing my ass up so that my dick slid as far as possible into his throat. Not using either of his hands to steady my erection, he started deep throating my dick, his tight lips not allowing the head of my cock to escape his wet mouth. When his lips came to the crown, he'd dive back down, my erection disappearing into his mouth to the hilt. He picked up the pace; the room was engulfed with the sound of slurping noises as he went to town on my cock. The only other sound in the room was myself, breathing out an occasional "Oh yeah," as the head of my dick sank into his throat. As my load started to rise out of my balls, I pleaded out loud to Kevin, repeating, "God, let me finish Kevin, please, let me cum!" He kept sucking, and just when I was about to orgasm, I felt his mouth come off my dick again. I was going to scream, and picked up my head off the pillow to look down at him between my legs. He grabbed my dick with his right hand and started jacking it. I think I did scream, but it was a scream of relief, not annoyance. My dick expanded in Kevin's hand, his grip tight around it, and time seemed to come to a halt. Blood rushed to my head as I watched Kevin watching me, my face contorting at the surge of my orgasm. My balls exploded from being teased and brought to the verge of orgasm so many times. I was heaving harder than I can ever recall. I observed the first wad of cum cannon out of my dick, actually feeling it shoot, flying high and landing on my collarbone and right shoulder. The second shot was right behind it but I laid my head back down on the pillow, Kevin still furiously fisting my dick. The next couple of spurts landed all over my chest and stomach. Kevin's hand slowly came to a halt, after milking a good five or six shots from me, and time slowly came back to normal. I was spent to the max. My body became so relaxed as I recovered, just lying there. I started giggling a little, realizing the total insanity of the gratification that Kevin had just given me. My eyes were closed, and I could have fell asleep again immediately. But I knew it was time to get up and go skiing. "Fuck," I exclaimed, banging my hands against the mattress, trying to rouse myself, "The was, I don't know, I can't even verbalize it." "You don't need to, I saw it on your face," Kevin said. "I'll tell you what bro. Holding a guy's dick, jerking him off to a climax is just about one of the hottest fucking things. But you man, the extreme look that came across your face, how rock solid your dick became and the way your head ballooned and blew the wildest load that I have ever seen, I practically came watching you. I'm going to have go take a cold shower after that." I opened my eyes and looked up at Kevin as I felt his weight leave the bed. He was standing there with a raging hard on poking out of the boxers he was wearing. There was something really arousing to me seeing Kevin standing there, naked but for a pair of boxers, muscled body and his protruding erection. He, at that moment, seemed to be the epitome of sexual desire and lust, the sense of ultimate sexuality radiating off of him. It was powerful, and I recognized it as why practically every chick wanted to sleep with him. "You gonna get off?" I asked him, feeling a little bad that I had and he hadn't. "Nah, I'm going to save it for later on tonight." "You sure?" "Yeah, I'm going to hit the shower and cool down. Thanks for the offer though, its good to hear it from you." I didn't really offer to do anything, but if that is the way he took it, I wasn't going to contradict him. Although at this very moment, if he asked me to suck his dick, I think that I probably would have. And then I wondered, "Save it for what, Jackie?" "No, no girls tonight. Just you and me bro, we'll have the whole house to ourselves. You cool with that?" "I don't know Kevin, the rules..." I joked. "Aw fuck the rules," Kevin answered back. "I was just teasing you dude, relax," I replied. I didn't expect him to take me so seriously. "The girls aren't here still, are they?" "No, they took off about 5 minutes before I came in here. You can use the shower down the hall, I'll use my parent's shower." "OK," I said as Kevin walked towards the door. "Kevin," I said, as he was almost out of the room. "Yeah?" he asked and turned around. "Thanks for...uhhh...that." And I gave him a big smile. He retuned my smile with one of his own and said, "You're welcome," and continued out of the room. After lying there for another minute, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat there, stretching my arms up in the air. The cum that was on my shoulder from my first shot smeared on my ear from the stretch. I wiped it off with my hand and muttered a low 'nasty' to myself. I looked down at my chest that was spotted with large pools of my own load that started dribbling down my body now that I was sitting up. Looking down further at my now soft dick, I noticed that my pubes were soaking wet. And I mean drenched. It took me a second to figure out why and then I realized that it was Kevin's spit. It was kind of gross and kind of hot at the same time, I couldn't decide which way that I felt. I got up off the bed and made my way to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. Thinking about all this in the shower was enough to make my dick go erect again. Then I chuckled to myself about Kevin thinking that I was serious about "the rules". The rules, I thought to myself, were really out the window this weekend. As I put shampoo in my hair, I had a strange thought, how awesome would it be if Kevin were a chick? I mean, if he were a girl, he'd probably be a hot ass chick, no doubt about that. I didn't have many girlfriends, a few steady girls here and there in high school, but Kevin would certainly be the kind of chick that would keep my attention, especially in the bedroom. And if he were, I could certainly deal with waking up every morning to a blow job like the one I just had. But he wasn't a girl, my hetero self reminded me, and he never would be. I put all thoughts out of my mind and thought about the day of skiing I had ahead of me. I had skied a decent amount in high school, day trips up to Hunter and Windham Mountains in upstate New York. Kevin though, I bet Kevin was an awesome skier and I hoped that I could keep up with him. I brushed my teeth and skipped shaving. I usually didn't shave every day. It would take me at least a day before my beard would really show. The funny thing is, my beard grows in almost totally blonde. When I grew a goatee, people were always accusing me of bleaching it, but it was all-natural. Anyway, I don't know why I am telling you this. I got dressed and wondered about breakfast. I walked into Kevin's parent's room looking for him. The sheets on the bed were strewn all over the place. I heard the shower going and approached closer to the bed. On the floor, right next to the bed, were two Trojan condom wrappers. He fucked her last night, twice. I didn't know what to think about that. I was happy, but a little jealous. But jealous of who, Kevin or Jackie? Jealous of Kevin, of course, I tried to self assure myself. Not wanting to think about it, I walked over to the bathroom. The door was open and I could see Kevin's distorted naked image through the glass doors of the shower. For whatever reason, I was afraid to get too close, so I called to him from outside the bathroom door. "Kevin?" "Yeah?" "You want some breakfast?" "I already had breakfast," Kevin yelled from behind the shower doors. "Oh, OK. Well I'm going to make something to eat then if that's all right." I watched Kevin's image turn towards the door and open it slightly. He had shampoo in his hair and soap all over his body. "I was joking, you idiot...ate breakfast, meaning you," Kevin said, his eyes squinted to keep the soap out of them. "Yeah, funny," I said, giving a little laugh but not really finding it all that amusing, the wierded out feeling about the whole thing starting to rise deep in my stomach. "I don't think there's much there besides cereal, with the folks not being here and all." "Cereal is cool." "Alright, grab two bowls, I'll be right down," Kevin said and closed the shower door. In the kitchen cabinets, I found a box of Frosted Flakes and Cheerios. I grabbed both boxes and brought them to the table. I also grabbed some bowls and spoons after searching half the kitchen for them. I checked out the expiration date of the milk in the refrigerator. It was good for another day. It would have sucked major if the milk were bad. I poured myself a bowl of Frosted Flakes and started eating. A few minutes later Kevin came down with wet hair, wearing a pair of gray long johns, a long sleeved undershirt and no socks. He had the bottom of the long johns pulled up above his knees, so it looked like a pair of shorts. This revealed the lower half of his legs, his thick calves, all covered with dirty blond hair. There was something ultra sexy about it, and I had the same feeling I had in the bedroom before, that Kevin oozed sex, but the thought disturbed me. Being sober and daytime, and not in a sexual situation, I didn't like that I thought Kevin's legs were...well...hot. Kevin came and sat next to me at the table, pouring himself a bowl of frosted flakes. "Any juice in there?" he asked. "I saw some orange juice. You want some?" "Yeah, I'll get it," he said. "No, I'll get it," I replied, for whatever reason, and got up and poured us each a glass. In my own way of dealing with things, getting Kevin a cup of juice was a thank you for not only inviting me up here, but what had happened earlier. "So I saw the condom wrappers on the floor," I said after sitting back down, "Somebody got lucky last night." "Twice," Kevin said with a smile. "Nice. How was it?" "The usual with Jackie, good, not great. Vanilla sex, as I like to call it." "I woke up at some point on the floor and all the girls were sleeping. I turned off the TV and went to bed. As I walked by your parent's room, I could hear Jackie laughing." "I must have been eating her out. She has this strange way of laughing when I'm down there. I think it tickles her more than it gets her off." "You like going down on girls?" "Fucking love it," Kevin said scooping a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "Really? Never really been my thing," I admitted, "I do it, but I can't stay down there more than a couple of minutes." "You're missing out Walsh, it takes a couple of minutes just to get started. Then the juices really start flowing." "Yeah, well, that's the part I am trying to miss," I laughed. "That's my favorite part, the girl screaming my name, 'Kevin, oh Kevin,'" and he mocked the girl's face as he said it, "And wrapping her legs around my head real tight, as she gets closer and closer to an orgasm." Kevin brought his face down to the bowl of cereal and mimicked eating it out like it was a pussy, licking the milk and cereal. Talking into the bowl he continued, "Then she gets closer, and closer, and my tongue gets deeper and deeper, her screaming gets louder and her legs start to gyrate, and then she comes, the female 'O', and a burst of juice swells in her cunt." I just started laughing at Kevin's show. He was joking, but being totally serious in trying to act this out for me. Then he stuck his entire face into his bowl of cereal, shaking his face in it, and brought his head up and looked at me, smeared with milk and cereal. "Aghhh," he cheered triumphantly, "Then you come up from between there with a face full of pussy juice, and lick it off," Kevin said excitedly, laughing really hard, licking his lips and around his mouth. "You...are...one...fucked...up...dude," I continued to laugh, really hard. "No more cereal for me," and I pushed the bowl away from me. Looking down at my crotch, I was totally hard from Kevin's display. "Me neither," Kevin answered, pushing his own bowl away. He got up and went to the sink and rinsed his face off under it. My eyes went to his legs again, and even his ass. And if I wasn't mistaken, Kevin was looking a little hard himself. "Turned you on, didn't I," Kevin asked as he dried off his face. "A little yeah." "So the lesson for the day is..." Kevin stopped, waiting for me to finish off his sentence. "Ummm...eating out a pussy is no more difficult than eating a bowl of frosted flakes?" "Exactly," Kevin laughed, and I joined him in his laugh. "As Tony the Tiger would say, 'Eating out a pussy, it's grrrreeeaaattt!'" We both practically fell to the floor in hysterics. "I'm going to finish getting dressed and then get your skis together. You need any gear, like gloves, hats or anything?" Kevin asked as he recovered from laughing. "Maybe a pair of goggles?" "You got it. I'll be down in 10 minutes." I was all dressed, so I cleaned up the kitchen a bit and wiped down the milk all over the table from where Kevin was sitting. I couldn't help but laugh more as I thought about Kevin's act and Tony the Tiger. Kevin came down wearing a pair of shiny black ski pants that had this neon green and blue spider web design on them, a matching blue sweater, regular boots, and carrying his jacket and some other stuff. His hair was gelled up and a pair of awesome black sunglasses rested on the top his head. Kevin and I wore the same size shoe, size 12, so he said that I could use his old pair of skis and boots that were in better condition than anything I could rent. He got out a screwdriver and started adjusting them. Kevin did whatever he did to the skis. We got our shit together and drove over to the mountain. It was about 9 o'clock by the time we left. Kevin gave me his father's season pass lift ticket that you wore on your leg. He said that he knew all the lift operators, and no one would check. I was happy that I didn't have to pay for renting skis or a day pass. Kevin told me that we were meeting the girls for a few runs later this afternoon, at 2:00. He also said that we would probably run into some of his mountain friends who would most likely ski part of the day with us. I told him that was cool, the more the merrier. His family kept a locker at the lodge, where Kevin's skis were. We both tossed our shoes in the locker and put our ski boots on. Kevin's boots were almost a perfect fit. A little tight, but then again ski boots aren't as comfortable as regular boots. The day was overcast and a bit colder than I would have liked. As I said, it was snowing the night before, and there was an accumulation of about 4 fresh inches. So the slopes should be nice and fresh. I had never skied Vermont before, and I was looking forward to the better conditions than NY Mountains. As we got ready to make the first run of the day, I couldn't help but notice how amazing Kevin looked. And I'm not just talking about how hot he was. He just had the look about him, bright colored ski outfit that matched perfectly, coordinated with his skis, his gloves, his scarf, his headband and sunglasses. He looked like a ski-clothing model, and stood out from everyone on the mountain. And yes, there was a hinge of envy there. Me, on the other hand, I was a mismatch of colors, black (faded) pants, red jacket, gray hat, black gloves and these blue and hot pink goggles that Kevin gave me. I didn't ski enough to have the gear that Kevin did, so it was understandable. But still, I was a little embarrassed standing next to him, and it was evident which of the two of us was the "day-tripper". (If this were made into a movie, I could totally picture the Beatles song "Day-Tripper" playing to the scene...) On the mountain, he played every bit the part. I couldn't believe how good of a skier he was. We started out slowly so I could warm up, hitting the easy trails first. He'd fly down the trail, swooshing back and forth, as if he were skiing on air. I'd take my time, trying to get a feel for the skis, eventually coming upon Kevin who was waiting for me somewhere down the trail. I was an OK skier, able to ski the black diamond trails in the Catskills, but had to get my knack back. After a couple of trips down the beginner trails, I got the feel back, and was able to stay up with Kevin, but not nearly as elegant as he was. He'd turn around and ski backwards for a minute, making sure I was behind him while showing off at the same time. He started hitting some jumps and doing tricks. We eventually made our way up to the intermediate trails, and even a couple of easier diamonds. The diamonds that I was used to were nothing compared to the ones at Stowe. Kevin tried taking me down this mogul run. Forget about it. I tried, but wound up sliding down the trail more on my ass than on the skis. On more than a couple of occasions, Kevin plowed me with snow as I was still on the ground, which I didn't find very amusing. Kevin blew through the moguls like they were nothing. I guess when you grow up skiing that it's not too difficult to be that good. He knew tons of people on the mountain. Waiting on line to get on the lift, all these girls and guys would ski up and say hello, or take a couple of runs with us. And he was right; he did know all the lift attendants and not one of them even looked at the picture on the season pass. A couple of hours or so into skiing, on one of the diamond trails, we ran into a group of Kevin's friends, about 6 guys and 4 girls, all within a couple of years of age of Kevin and I. And of course, all of them were dressed in the perfect ski outfits, all just about as good looking as Kevin, and all awesome skiers. Two of the chicks were totally hot, and I mean drop dead gorgeous. They were all pretty cool. Kevin introduced me to everyone, and I felt welcomed amongst them, but a little intimidated at the same time. They seemed excited to meet one of Kevin's fraternity brothers though. All but this one guy Jason. When Kevin introduced us, he gave me this cold look. He shook my hand, but he acted as if he could care less. I don't know...I just got this weird vibe from him. I was struggling to keep up with everyone, but we eventually made our way down the slope. We went back up and one of the really hot chicks rode up the lift with Kevin and I. Her name was Angela and she had some of the sexiest lips and eyes I have ever seen. Her hair was long, curly and auburn, which is my favorite. We seemed to click and talked the whole ride up. When we got to the top of the mountain we skied over to this trail. I looked down at what was in front of me and it was the steepest fucking run I have ever seen, chock full of moguls. There was no way that I was making it down this trail in one piece. I felt bad, but I told everyone that I couldn't ski this, but that they should go ahead and I would go down an easier trail and meet them at the bottom. Kevin said that he would go with me, but Angela said that she hated this trail and that she would ski another trail with me. Kevin asked if she was sure, and she said yes. He didn't ask twice, and nobody else did really. They said they would wait for us at the bottom and the next thing I knew, they were all flying down the trail like it was nothing. "I'm sorry, but it would take me like an hour to get down that trail, and I didn't want everyone waiting on me," I said to Angela, embarrassed in front of this girl that I couldn't do what everyone else was doing. "Don't be sorry," Angela said, "Come on, I'll take you down my favorite trail, its long and wraps around the mountain." So Angela and I took our time going down this really awesome slope. It curved around and was a little steep at points, but it was a really fun run. When we got to the bottom we waited a couple of minutes for everyone. After a few minutes and no sign of them, I figured they ditched me so they could get some good runs in. I typically would be pissed about being flat left like that, but I was more than glad to be alone with Angela. "Want to take another run?" I asked. "Yeah, let's," Angela answered, parting those luscious lips with a smile. Angela and I never caught up with anyone. We looked for them a couple of times, but no luck. I had a blast hanging out with her, and I think she did as well. She was kind of a hippy chick, real laid back and relaxed. She was totally different than Jackie's friends. I could tell that she had money, from some of the things that she was saying, but very down to earth. We went into the lodge and had some lunch. One of her friends was holding onto her money, so I bought her lunch. I noticed how all the guys would stare at Angela as they walked by our table. She didn't seem to notice, but I am guessing that for a girl as hot as Angela, it must be something that you just get used to. While we were eating, she asked me what Kevin and I were doing for the night. It was actually a really tough question to answer. I knew that Kevin was looking forward to 'having the house to ourselves', and a part of me was too. But from the tone of Angela's question, I could tell that there was something behind it, and certainly there was a part of me that wanted to find out. So I answered with an ambiguous, "I don't know, I don't think anything, but Kevin might have something planned. What are you doing?" "Well, my parents left this afternoon, so everyone is coming over and hanging out at my house tonight. So if you and Kevin aren't doing anything, I think you guys should come." "That sounds cool, I'd love to come over and hang out." After lunch, we hit the trails again. I knew that I could probably find Kevin at 2:00 meeting up with Jackie, but I didn't mention that to Angela. I was having a lot of fun just hanging out with her and wanted to leave it that way. Not to mention staring more at her awesome ass and flowing hair as she skied in front of me. My legs were done with skiing around 3:30 and I asked Angela if she wanted to go up to the lodge and have a drink. She thought that was a good idea and said that everyone else would meet up there, they usually get off the mountain around 4, and Kevin would probably be with them. There was a band up in the lodge bar, Grand Marnier was having some kind of a give away raffle party, so the bar was packed. We found a table near the back, and we stripped off most of our layers. It looked like Jackie had a smoking little body to match the face and a nice rack as well. I was really attracted to this girl and was getting the feeling that the attraction was mutual. The same waitress as the night before came over and took our drink order. She brought them back a couple of minutes later and I paid for them. Angela apologized again for not having any money, and promised she would pay me back when Nancy, who was holding her money, got up to the bar. I told her not to worry about it, to take it as a thank you for hanging out with me all day. The band was a U2 cover band. They played other songs, but majority were U2. When I started college, I wasn't the biggest U2 fan. But Matt loved U2, so I started to get into them as well. Angela was a huge fan, so we really enjoyed the music and hanging out. We had a few drinks and completely forgot that we were even waiting for anyone. At some point, out of the corner of me eye, I noticed Kevin looking around the bar and the tables. Part of me was really happy to see him, but then a part of me wasn't. I don't know, I was enjoying my time with Angela and I didn't want Kevin invading my space. But I knew that I had to let Kevin know where I was, so I told Angela that I saw Kevin and was going to let him know where we were. I got up and walked up behind Kevin and tapped him on the shoulder, asking, "Looking for me?" Kevin turned around and said, "Yeah, all frigging day. Where you been?" "Skiing with Angela. We looked for you guys, and waited on the bottom of the mountain like you said, but you weren't there. So Angela and I took a few more runs, had some lunch, and figured we would meet you up here." "I thought you hurt yourself or something. I went to the ski patrol and gave them your name to see if you came down the mountain in a stretcher." "No, I'm fine. Like I said, we waited and after awhile figured we would run into you eventually." After a pause, I continued, "Actually, Angela's fucking gorgeous, and to be honest, I wasn't looking for you all that much," I said with a grin. "Yeah, Angela is a babe. Where is she?" "Over there..." and I pointed to the table that Angela and I were sitting at. Kevin and I both gazed at her for a minute. "Everyone is hanging out on the other side of the bar, so why don't you guys grab your shit and join us." Then Kevin leaned into me closer and whispered, "Listen, I told Jackie that I ran into some Brothers from the University of Vermont and that they invited us up to a pledge event up there tonight. She wasn't too happy about it, but I told her it was a ritual thing and that we had to go. In about a half hour I'm going to tell everyone that we need to head out, so if Jackie mentions anything, just go along with it." "Do we even have a chapter there?" I asked. "Fuck if I know," Kevin laughed. "Well, everyone is getting together at Angela's tonight, and she invited us to hang out, so I thought that maybe we could do that for awhile," I said. Kevin's face went flat and he gave me this blank stare for a couple of seconds. "I thought that you and I were hanging out tonight," has asked, with a look of disappointment appearing on his face. "I know, I just thought that maybe we could go over there for awhile and see if anything happens between Angela and I. And if it doesn't then we can go back to your house." Kevin just stood there looking me dead in the eyes. It was really awkward, and I felt, I don't know, bad. I shouldn't have felt bad, but I did. He didn't say anything at first; he seemed to be thinking it through. Kevin looked over at Angela again, "She is fucking hot, isn't she." "Yeah she is. Those fucking lips man, she's been putting Chap Stick on them all day and turning me on." Kevin was silent again, and I watched his face come back to his normal composure. "All right. Well, I'm going to totally honest with you Walsh. I was really looking forward to hanging out with you tonight, I've been thinking about it and my dick has been hard all day. But I can't keep you from trying to bang that piece of ass if you think you have a good chance. I've tried getting down those pants more than a few times myself, but she knows Jackie, so it never happened." Kevin's statement was like a weight off of my shoulders. I had this sudden feeling that he was going to flip out on me or something, but I should have known he'd be cool about it. "Do you know if she puts out?" I asked him. "A couple of the guys have hooked up with her. None of then got further than feeling up her tits. She's the dating kind, if you know what I mean. She's playful, and kind of a flirt, but unless you are in it for the long haul, I wouldn't expect her to put out. But who knows, being that you are up here for only a night, maybe she'll be different about you." "Well, I did by her lunch today, so maybe that will count as a 'date'," I smiled at Kevin. Kevin returned my smile, but it looked like he kind of rolled his eyes at the same time. He continued to stare at Angela for another couple of seconds. "I'm not going to put any pressure on you," Kevin said, "But if it doesn't work out with Angela, you're going to be spanking the monkey yourself tonight. If we hang around here, Jackie will probably be at Angela's, or at least know that I am there, and I'm going to have to spend the night with her. Know what I'm saying?" I didn't think about that. I really hadn't thought about any of this. I was just going with the flow with Angela, and using Kevin as a safety hook up. But if I'm hearing Kevin right, he is now laying a choice out for me. Him or her, make a decision, a definite (Kevin) or a maybe (Angela). "And," Kevin continued, leaning his body up against mine. He wrapped his right hand around my left ear, as if he were whispering a secret and breathed, "If you choose staying in tonight, you won't regret it, trust me." He finished his tempting by licking behind my ear lobe and taking it into his mouth for a brief second. In that brief second, I instantly went hard in front of the crowded bar. Between Kevin's hot breadth in my ear, the sensation of his tongue on my skin, the prospect of what Kevin was insinuating and the proximity of all these people around me, I was totally aroused. He struck some primal sense and boing, I was hard as a rock. Luckily I still had my ski pants on. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there for a minute looking at Kevin as he took a step back and I tried to make sense of all this. "Do I need to decide right now?" I managed to stammer out. "Nah, you can think about it and let me know what you want to do." "And you won't be mad if I choose to hang out with Angela?" "Nah, its your call. What makes you think I would get mad, bro? I'll be over on the other side of the bar, I'll see you there." And with that, Kevin walked away from me; leaving me standing there to watch him disappear into the crowd. He never failed to complicate things, and I was really confused on what to do. This wasn't a choice I was expecting to make, nor one that I wanted to make. I walked back over to Angela and told her where everyone else was and we grabbed our stuff and joined them. She told me that she had to get going soon, but that she wanted to buy the next round. After that though, she had to head back to the house and get things ready for when people came over. Kevin's friends were a lively and popular group of people. They acted like they owned the bar, ordering rounds of shots for themselves and others. The guys were hitting on every chick in the bar relentlessly. They were back and forth between the table we were hanging out at and the bar. I was trying to be a part of the crowd, but my mind was debating what to do for the evening. I took a seat at one of the tables, sitting next to Jackie and her friends. Angela had brought me over a drink, but then joined Kevin and some of the guys up at the bar. Both of them were in my sight. I looked back and forth between the two of them. Meanwhile, my mind was racing, trying to make a decision. And in a way, looking over at Jackie to my right, I felt guilty about what I was trying to decide. I mean in her eyes, Kevin was her "boyfriend", and I here I was debating on whether or not I should go back to his house and let him suck my dick. Man, that's fucked up. The rational side of my brain kept reminding me about the rules. This was definitely against the rules. There was a really hot chick that seemed pretty interested, and the self-imposed rule is girls first. So what's the debate here Walsh? But I've had a few drinks, and the more sexual side of me brought up a very good point. It's her house, there are going to be a lot of people there so she's not going to have time to get away. And Kevin said that she didn't go too far hooking up, so why not go with the sure thing? Do you really want to go through the frustration of trying in front of all these people, and then deal with the chance of nothing happening? Go for the blowjob. It feels awesome, you love it, go for it. You know you want to... Yeah, but does everything have to be about sex? She's a cool chick and you've had a blast hanging out with her all day. Isn't just hanging out with her, the hope that something is going to happen, and seeing if it does, enough? Of course everything has to do with sex. You'll probably never see this girl again, and you're trying to tell me that just hanging out with her is enough? Compared to a mind-blowing orgasm? Rules schmules. Finish the weekend with a bang and go back to the rules at school. Don't be an idiot John...go back with Kevin. But... But nothing...This is why you came up, to be with Kevin. Like a tennis ball, I went back and forth. I slurped my drink back while I thought about it and someone passed me a shot. I stared at Kevin, almost angry with him for making me think all this out and forcing me to make a choice. In some strange way, Kevin probably thought that he was helping me out, but he was doing the exact opposite. Caught in my internal conflict, Angela brought me out of it with a question. "What?" I asked, missing what she asked. "You look deep in thought, what's going on up there?" "Oh, ah, nothing. Just thinking about what I have due on Monday, for class," I lied. "Well, I'm going to head out. Kevin mentioned that he ran into some guys on the mountain from your fraternity and they invited you to Burlington for some pledge thing, but that you weren't sure if you wanted to go or not." "Yeah. Actually, that was what I was just thinking about, not class." "So what do you want to do?" Angela asked. It was decision time. What to do, what to do? My stomach was in a knot. I felt my face go to a frown, but quickly removed it, not wanting Angela to think that I was frowning at her. "I don't know. I really want to hang out more with you; I've had an awesome time today. But I am Kevin's guest, and he really wants to go visit that chapter, so I think I should do that," I said. I felt bad, really bad, and definitely said it that way. "That's cool," Angela said, her face not revealing too much, "I'm sure you guys will have a lot of fun." "Yeah, should be fun." "Well, it was nice hanging out today," Angela said as she put her coat on. And I suddenly felt that I had made the wrong decision. "Yeah it was. Thanks so much for putting up with me," I smiled, not so certain that I had made the wrong decision. "I know the season is almost done, but we usually have a big party weekend up here in the summer, so come up with Kevin for that." "I certainly will." "And Kevin has my number, so if you guys change your plan for whatever reason and are going to be around, give a call." "Will do," I answered. "Bye," she said. "Bye." I almost felt like I was on the verge of tears. Not literally, but internally, I felt like an emotional fool. My confusion was real deep, and I didn't know what to do. She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I got a good smell of her hair, complicating this even more. She said good-bye to the rest of her friends, telling them to come over whenever they wanted, she would order a few pizzas. I just watched her as she made her way around. Right before she walked away, she gave a wave good-bye. 'You're turning into a fucking fag,' some part of me told me. 'You picked to go home with a dude over that piece of ass. There is something really wrong with this situation.' There was another drink on the table in front of me that someone must have bought for me, and I grabbed it and drank it down. I tried to calm myself down a little. I was never upset that much about a girl before, but then again, this really wasn't about Angela. Kevin must have noticed Angela walk away, because a minute later he came over and sat in a chair next to me. "So what's the plan Stan?" I was almost angry with Kevin. But looking at him, I couldn't be angry. Seeing him, the "curious" side of me started to perk up a little bit, and assured me that I had made the right choice. "What time to we have to be in Burlington?" I asked, trying to smile. Kevin shot me the hugest smirk, nodding his head and saying, "All right." He slapped me on my right leg a couple of times and then got up and said he was going to go tell Jackie. I still was questioning my choice, but the drinks and shots were starting to take effect, and the whole thing was slowly starting to fade out of my mind. A minute later, Kevin came back and asked if I was ready. I got up and threw on my jacket and grabbed the rest of my shit. Kevin had walked back over to Jackie and I joined him there. They were saying good-bye, and Jackie was telling Kevin to behave himself. I rolled my eyes. She has no idea. And I'm not even talking about me, really, more the hordes of girls that Kevin banged up at school. Jackie turned her attention to me and said that it was really nice to finally meet one of Kevin's friends from school. I told her that it was really nice to meet her as well, and that I hoped to see her again soon. I asked her if she was going to Angela's, and she said maybe for a while, but they were getting up early to head back to school. We said good-bye to Jackie's friends and then made our way up to the bar to say laters to his mountain friends that were hanging out up there. They were disappointed that we wouldn't be hanging out for the evening. But they wished us luck in finding some hot sorority chicks to get it on with. I noticed that Jason was still giving me the evil eye and didn't say anything to either one of us. I don't know what his deal was, but whatever it was, he definitely didn't seem to like me. Kevin and I took off from the bar, going out the same back stairway that we came up on Friday night. As soon as the door closed behind us, Kevin grabbed me by my open jacket and slammed me against the door. I was stunned for a second not knowing what the hell he was doing. Then Kevin pressed up right against me, pushing me tight against the door. Next thing I knew he had his lips against mine and made out with me deeply. Still in shock, I met his tongue with my own, my anxiety about the decision I had just made turning into a burst of sexual energy. Being here, with Kevin, making out roughly in the stairway of a ski lodge, a drunken desire overwhelmed me and I knew that I had made the right decision, for tonight at least. "What time do we have to be in Burlington," Kevin repeated my words from earlier, removing his mouth from mine. "Dude, you fucking drove me crazy when you said that, you fucking tease. You have no idea how much fun we are going to have tonight." He still had me pinned against the door, the full weight of his body pushed against mine. In the cement stairwell that we were standing in, Kevin's voice echoed. "You had me wondering for awhile," Kevin continued, "Part of me was sure that you were going to say that you wanted to go to Angela's and I was going to get stuck with lame lay Jackie for the night." As he finished saying that, we heard a door close down the stairs and some voices below. Kevin moved away from me, and a second later a couple of teenage girls came walking up the stairs. They stared at the two of us as they reached the landing that we were standing at. "Hey," I said, stepping away from the door and opening it up for them so they could get into the bar. "Hi," they said back, looking a little embarrassed but a little bit in awe at the same time. They walked through the door, but then looked back at us before the door closed. Kevin and I laughed. "Too bad CJ isn't here," I joked, "He'd be all over that." Kevin laughed back and started walking down the stairs. I followed him and told him that the skis were in front of the lodge. He said that he would run to the locker, get my boots, and meet me out front. It was dark outside, but the mountain was lit up with a bunch of floodlights. There was an eerie calmness about the mountain. I looked up the mountain, remembering the runs that I took with Angela. I was again struck by a bit of regret, but wouldn't allow myself to dwell on it. "Ready?" Kevin yelled from in front of the lodge doors. I picked up the skis, turned around and walked towards Kevin. It's hard to describe, but when Kevin gives you his attention, you feel like the only person in the world, that there is no place you'd rather be, and you would do anything to keep it that way. And for the moment, all thoughts of Angela were gone. Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will finish up the ski trip, then the next couple will get into Spring Break. E-mail me your comments @ alt76frat@yahoo.com or at the Yahoo Group www.groups.yahoo.com/group/fraternitymemoir