Date: Mon, 13 May 2002 18:14:35 -0400 (EDT)
From: maxwelllite@webtv.net
Subject: Lee and Me, Chapter 19

It occurred to me that even while protesting I was still on my knees...some
protest!

As I looked up at Lee staring down at me, with his hands on his hips, he
seemed even more imposing, more menacing than ever.  His eyes seemed more
slanted as if squinting, his mouth turned down at the corners in anger, no
doubt at my moment of rebellion.  Was it his expression that made him seem
more menacing or the new threat he had hanging over me?  A very imposing
threat I might add.  While I had entered this relationship willingly, there
was always the thought that I could walk away when I wished, but now,
definitely not so.  Frightening, yes, but also strangely exciting.

Worm had mentioned the possibility of video, so this new threat was not
entirely unexpected.  However, now that it was reality and there was no
doubt it would be used if there was any rebellion, it was extremely
worrisome to say the least.  If there had been any doubt as to Lee's
complete hold on me, that was dispelled.  It was total!  No words needed to
be spoken.  It was painfully obvious that Lee had won again, as usual.  I
just knelt there, resigned to my fate.  Lee, accepting my silence as
acquiescence, stepped forward and once again had his way, and just as last
time, I felt compelled to look up and meet his eyes at the moment he
spurted.  He looked down at me with what could best be described as an evil
smile.

As I was leaving the room, humiliated and broken, Lee said, "Be available
tomorrow.  We'll all be going over to Mr. Von Der Linn's friend's place."

"What time?"

"I don't know yet.  Just be around."

"Sure Lee, anything you say."

"That's right, Toad, anything I say," exaggerating the word
'anything'. Then he added, "And wear one of those t-shirts Kay bought you,
or she'll think you don't like them."

"O.K. Lee, whatever you say." I would be more careful than ever from now on
in my responses to Lee.

The following morning just as I was about to eat, the phone rang. It was
Lee.

"Get out to the car now,"

He hung up without waiting for a reply.  Well, why should he, I thought,
I'm really his slave now.

I got up leaving my food on the table and hurried over.  I was really
hungry, but the idea of telling Lee to wait never entered my mind.

It had only been a few moments, but right away I heard the horn tooting
rapidly.  I ran.

There was Lee behind the wheel looking elegant in a designer Polo shirt and
sun glasses.  What a contrast to my outlandish bright yellow t-shirt with
crimson red lettering proclaiming in bold print: "Lee's slave."

As grating as it was to see him sitting so confidently behind the wheel of
my beautiful gleaming red Mustang, I had to admit to myself once again that
he looked as if he was right where he belonged.

"Get in the back.  I'm picking up Kay."

"Sure, Lee."

Lee, as was his custom, floored the accelerator backing out of the
driveway, the Mustang actually spinning on the pavement as he straightened
out on the road.

I gritted my teeth in anguish, but remained silent.  What could I say, the
car was in his hands to use as he pleased.

We drove to Kay's in silence, Lee breaking all speed limits and going
through red lights and stop signs along the way.  When we arrived he tooted
the horn. Kay came bounding out of the house, gorgeous as usual. She was
wearing white short shorts, a brief matching top and sandals exposing her
recently painted toes -- painted by mom.  Her long auburn hair was pulled
back casually in a bun with a long pony tail hanging down her back.

I have said it before, but she seemed more beautiful every time I saw her.
More desirable, but of course more and more untouchable.  I felt again like
a kid with his nose pressed against a candy store window looking in with no
money,

Kay completely ignored me and got in next to Lee, saying, "Hi lover," then
planting a long kiss on his lips.  She always seemed to enjoy flaunting her
relationship with Lee, knowing I would have to be jealous and envious of
him.  I think it was some sort of turn on for her.

For me it was crazy type mixed emotions.  Who would not be jealous, envious
and remorseful, having lost such a beauty to an arrogant, hateful
individual such as Lee.  I was still human, certainly not normal, but
human.  Why then did I find it so sexually exciting seeing them together
like this, the dominant handsome Lee in complete control of my car, with my
girl in his arms, and me in the back seat, his obedient flunky and slave,
with my tounge practically hanging out with lust.

But then I had a very disturbing thought: where was the lust directed?  For
the beauteous shapely Kay, or the image of last night's Lee: proud,
arrogant and so demanding, as if he had every right in the world to use me
that way.  My esteem and admiration for him was growing larger than my
hatred.  He felt superior to me for a good reason -- he was, and we both
knew it. I remembered leaving Lee's bedroom last night feeling that nothing
out of the ordinary had occurred.  Events were exactly as they should be.
I got off that night just thinking about it.

As we sped off, I had never felt more insignificant as they chatted
pleasantly while I was completely ignored in the back seat as though not
even there.  Their hair was blowing in the wind; theirs, not mine.  Mine
was on the barber's floor where Lee had wanted it to be and I had complied.
I moved a bit to the left to see my reflection in the rear view mirror.
Grotesque -- and that nose ring -- Lee really knew how to demean and
humiliate.

We drove a couple of miles out of town and then turned off on a side road
leading up to a high fence with an iron gate, over which a sign read, 'Helm
Ranch'. Lee spoke his name into an intercom and the gate swung open.  We
then drove about another half mile or so before we reached the main house,
which was enormous, and, obviously, the entire place.  There were several
cars parked around the house and I noted that one of them was Worm's
towncar.

We went around to the backyard where there were approximately twenty
guests, some under a giant umbrella and some seated around the olympic
sized pool, all teenagers whom I didn't know, except for a few.  Notably,
Herb and his friend Jason, and a couple I had seen around school.  One of
those from school poked his friend and pointed my way -- and they both
sniggered.

Carter came over and greeted Lee and Kay, ignoring me, of course.

He then beckoned for someone to come over, and said, "I want you to meet
our host."

He was about our age, tall and well built, in swim trunks, with one of
those swimmers bodies.  He had blonde hair and blue eyes, a handsome Aryan
type.

As he headed our way, I noted two teens following a few paces behind
him. Both were sullen and unsmiling and wore strange garb.  There was a
brief leather covering over their privates with leather straps, with some
rings attached, that ran up their front, over their shoulders, and down
their backs.

"Lee, Kay, this is my friend Kurt Helm.  Kurt, this is Lee, and his
girlfriend, Kay."

"I'm pleased to meet you both.  Carter has told me about you, and Kay,
you're even more beautiful than his description."

She blushed. I noted that after that he seemed much more interested in Lee,
looking him up and down and staring.  He then turned his attention to me.

His friendly demeanor changed to a frown as he said, "I suppose this is
Toad."  He looked me up and down inquisitively and said, "Interesting.  I
like what you've done with him, Lee.  My compliments."

Lee replied, "Thank you, Kurt; glad you like it."

Wow, talk about a being a nonentity.

I found myself admiring Kurt Helm right away.  Disliking him, but admiring
his superiority. We had never met but already he treated me as an inanimate
object.

"Why don't you two join Carter and Dawn for a while at their table.  Have
something to eat and later we can all have some fun, O.K.?"

Lee replied, "Sounds good to me Kurt."

There already seemed to be a bonding between them.  Kurt snapped his
fingers at one of the two teens that had followed him.

"Take two chairs to Carter's table."

His friendly demeanor once again changed instantly when he spoke to them.
I don't know why, but I liked that.  As one of them scurried off, he
reminded me of myself under Lee's domination.

Kurt said, "If you want anything, just tell one of these," meaning his two
lackeys. "They'll do anything you say."

Lee responded, "Thanks Kurt.  You seem to have a pretty big crowd, and if
you think you need help with anything you can use Toad."

Kay looked at me with an amused smirk on her face.  She seemed to love it
when Lee humiliated me that way, especially in front of others.  No matter
how low I had gone, being humiliated in her presence was still the
worst...but also the most exciting.

"Thanks, Lee."

Then he said to me, "Go find Worm.  He's waiting on tables or something,
and he'll tell you what to do."

I really didn't know how to reply to him.  'Kurt' certainly seemed too
familiar under the circumstances, and 'Sir' was a little much.  He
presented such an imposing figure that 'master' came to mind, but that was
out, so I just said, "Right," and scurried off obediently.

I found Worm waiting on tables--right where he belonged, I thought.

"Kurt said you would tell me what to do."

Here I was again, subordinate to Worm again.

"About time I got some help, these people have been running my ass ragged.
Get this, do that, hurry up.  It's been non stop."

My first thought was, "So what?  That's what you're here for; that's what
I'm here for.  We are not exactly invited guest's."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Stand by the bar and when anyone waves, run over and see what they want."

"What about those two guys that follow Kurt around?  What are their names
and what's with the leather harness?"

They're not much help and I never heard their names.  Kurt calls one of
them "One" and the other "Two."  They're just like you and me--they do as
they're told.  As for the harnesses, you'll find out soon enough."

That sounded a little foreboding.

I spent the next hour or so running food and drinks for what were a very
demanding bunch, especially my first customer, Herb, who immediately waved
me over.

He chuckled, "Well, well, if it's not my favorite waiter. Toad isn't it,
formally Rob, wasn't it?"

It was so obvious that he was enjoying immensely this power shift.

"I'll have the usual...Toad...and make it snappy."

Trying to make it sound humorous, but failing, I said, "Coming right up
sir. Pina Coloda, wasn't it?"

I don't know why, but I was really opening the door for him by calling him
sir and I knew it.

"Very good Toad, that's right. You make a great waiter." then he added, "or
servant" then finally, "or slave, like it says on your shirt. I only wish
that instead of Lee's name there it was mine. Yeah, I can see that in big
bold print, Herb's slave. What an exciting idea. What would you think about
that Toad, possible?"

I don't know why, but his line of conversation was a turn on.  My throat
was dry making it difficult to swallow.  I could have shrugged it off, but
instead I answered, "Everything is possible Herb."

His face seemed to light up at that. "Hmm, interesting answer, Toad. What
is that saying..hope springs eternal?  You have no idea how much I would
look forward to that day."

Ours eyes met and it occurred to me that such a short time ago he had been
Herbert the nerd, a follower, kissing up to me, the jock leader of the
pack, who rebuked and ignored him.  Now we were actually discussing the
possibility of him taking over Lee's role in my life, and it was a big turn
on for me...and i'm sure for him. Sort of how low can you go.

I brought Herb and his friend Jason their drinks and then made the rounds
attending to the others, but paying special attention to Herb's needs.  For
some reason I found it exciting to do so.  If his glass was nearly empty, I
would hurry over and ask, "Ready for another sir?"

I was trying to make it sound humorous, but we both knew it was more than
that.  Herbert had struck a chord with me and it was exciting.

One of the guests in particular, I found interesting.  A female teen named
Lana.  She was extremely attractive--long straight blond hair parted in the
middle that hung down below her shoulders.  Seated on the ground at her
feet was an attractive female about Lana's age who was attired in the same
type of leather garb as One and Two.  Lana was seated at a table conversing
with others as her friend sat silently at her feet.  I suddenly remembered
having once seen a photo of the friend in the paper.  She was the daughter
of a wealthy industrialist--an heiress. She seemed so out of place sitting
on the ground.

After a couple of hours, "One" came over to me and said, "Follow me."

He led me out to a barn that had all sorts of tack, riding equipment, and
some sulkies that looked like they might be for miniature ponies and said,
"Strip."

"Huh, what's this all about?

"You mean they didn't tell you?  Kurt is having sulky races today, and
you're one of the horses.  Lee offered you, so I guess that's it, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so, if that's what Lee said."

One's demeanor changed as he barked out, "Maybe you don't hear so
good..strip!"

"O.k, o.k."

He then fitted me with the same type harness that he wore. The crotch cover
had a thin lead that went between my butt cheeks leaving them completely
exposed and fastened it to a piece that wound around at about chest height.

Then he rolled out one of the sulkies.  It was a streamlined looking thing
on bicycle tires with gleaming silver spokes and a small raised seat. The
seat rested on a cross piece that had two extensions which had attachments
for the driver's feet.

"One" placed each of the extensions through rings that were attached to
each side of my garb, and clicked them in place.  He bent my arms and
attached the lower portions at wrist and below the elbow.  He then placed
what seemed to be a halter on my head.  It had leather straps that wrapped
around my forehead and then down and under my chin.  He fitted a bit in my
mouth, and to it a couple of long leads or reins. For all intents and
purposes I had been transformed into a pony.

I was about to protest to this total stranger, but realized with the bit in
my mouth my words were garbled.  Then it came to me that how could I
protest--Lee had given his o.k.

"This is your first time out, so I'm going to show you some of the ropes
and what's expected of you.  We have about a half hour and then it's post
time."

He picked out a long black buggy whip, took the reins and hopped into the
drivers seat.  I felt a tug on the bit to the left, "This means go left,
and so on."  Then he tapped my shoulder with the whip, "This means move
forward."

I heard a swooshing sound and just like that, my ass was on fire.  "That
means move faster."

Three more swooshes occurred in rapid succession and before the first fire
had subsided my butt, upper rear thigh and shoulder were ignited.

"That means give it all you have.  Your rider will determine when.  That's
up to him.  A good rider is as important as a good pony."

He tapped my shoulder with the whip saying, "Come on.  Let's let you get
the feel of the track."

I started walking.

He tugged sharply on the bit. "No, no, never walk that way, always trot a
little, you'll learn."

We headed down a long path to arrive at the track. It was impressive to say
the least. It was a real training track, complete with a not-so-small
grandstand for viewers.

Once on the track "One" tapped my shoulder a little more forcefully, but
held firm on the bit.

"At this point I'm holding you back to get you in position.  That will be
up to your driver Lee.  He's inexperienced so I don't know what he'll do.
He'll probably whip your ass full out.  Most new guy's do, then you'll have
nothing left for the finish, except to probably get your ass kicked by Lee
for having lost," he sniggered.

It occurred to me how this total stranger, along with so many others, now
accepted the fact that I was Lee's to use and do with as he pleased. They
must have discussed it...I wondered if they found it amusing and laughed.

"O.K. Toad, I'd really like to run your ass around the track and see what
you've got, but that wouldn't be fair to Lee, wearing you out like that
before a race.  So let's just head back to the paddock and wait for the
others.  And oh yeah, keep those knees up and trot... It's one of Kurt's
rules.  Kurt likes that...so do I."

Treating me like a real pony that didn't know better, he tugged sharply on
the bit in my mouth to the right and we headed back with me walking. I
suddenly felt a painful slash across my right butt cheek.  I had forgotten
Kurt's rule, and immediately began a trot.

It was only a few minutes after we got to the paddock area that the other
ponies arrived. They all wore similar leather attire, except that Lana's
pony wore a leather bra. They had cards with numbers attached to their head
pieces.  Someone came over and handed a number to "One".

He placed it in my head piece and said, "You're number three.  The numbers
were drawn at random."

Next the drivers filed in.  They all wore swim wear; some wore sun glasses.
All carried long black buggy whips.  They laughed and joked among
themselves before taking their seats behind their respective ponies.

Worm had drawn the number one post with Carter at the reins.  Number two I
didn't know.  Then it was my turn.  Fourth was "Two" with Kurt in the
driver's seat.  Number five was Lana with her friend (or whatever) in
harness.  Six was a teen I knew from school.  We had belonged to the same
group.  Sort of a hierarchy.  I remembered he had been an arrogant s.o.b.
He had smirked at me as he came in.  His pony I didn't know.

We went out to the track in single file by number.  This time I remembered
to trot along with the rest.  Was it humiliating?  Definitely!  But
compared to some of the things required of me by Lee, it was a walk in the
park.  Besides, it was a good feeling to know there were so many others in
the same boat so to speak.

I was really surprised when we all lined up at the head of the stretch
behind a special starter's auto with extended gates, the same as at real
race tracks.

The others had taken seats in the grandstand and were already cheering
their favorites on as we followed close to the gate while it moved, slowly
at first, then speeding up, to the starting point, which would also be the
finish line.

The car veered off to the right and we were off and running.  I felt the
sting of Lee's whip, criss crossed on both shoulders and then my rump was
on fire.  "One" had been correct: Lee would whip my ass flat out, and all
the way.  He wanted the lead now, and I would give my all to comply.  Worm
and Carter, starting from the rail position, had the lead with Carter
slashing away at Worm's already inflamed butt, intent on keeping that lead.

As we rounded the first turn I could see out of the corner of my eye that
Kurt had dropped back and was last.  I remembered what "One" had said and
wondered if that was by design...probably "yes", I thought.

Worm was in better condition than I would have thought and held on to the
lead determinedly.  Lee was not pleased and showed his displeasure by
applying the lash to my upper thighs with vigor.  Very effective!  I ran as
if trying to outrun that infernal instrument of pain that Lee wielded so
skillfully, gave more than my all and was able to pass Worm and move to the
rail taking the lead.

I could imagine that Carter would not be happy and Worm's butt would pay
the price.  Better him than me I thought.  Perhaps with the lead, Lee would
let up.  But that was not to be.  Lee wanted to open the lead as much as
possible, not thinking that he might burn me out.

That was not in Lee's realm of thought at all.  Lee, of course, felt that I
was his to use and do with as he pleased, and rightly so.  After all didn't
I even feel that way most of the time?  He would demand that I get him to
the finish line first, and I would obey.

The punishment continued unabated.  In fact it intensified as we did in
fact open the lead.  My butt, thighs, and shoulders felt like they were on
fire--sweat literally ran from every pore.  But I actually felt proud of my
accomplishment; that I was pleasing Lee, carrying my master to victory.  I
hadn't thought of the term master many times, even though there was no
doubt that he was that.  It just seemed so much more true so at this
moment.

But then came to mind a phrase I had heard but Lee evidently had not: "A
man cannot do what a man cannot do."

As we rounded the final turn, my legs felt like lead and I slowed down.
The lash criss crossed more quickly--my shoulders, butt, and thighs were on
fire as Lee shouted, "What the hell are you doing, we're almost there, move
your ass."

I wanted to obey, to win, but I could not.  One of the others passed me,
then Lana, furiously whipping away at her pony.  I noticed the sweat as it
seemed to explode from her ponies shoulders.  It was obvious that being
female didn't get that pony any lighter treatment.

Worm and I, who had been first and second early on, were now last and next
to last as Kurt swept by on the outside, making circles in the air with his
buggy whip, and then bringing it down forcefully across the shoulders of
"Two" as he passed my school acquaintance and Lana, winning easily.

Since most of the audience were Kurt's friends, there was a lot of
applause.  Kurt trotted his pony in front of the stands saluting with a big
grin on his face.

The rest of us trotted off to the paddock area.  My school friend was
second, Lana took third, I was fourth, and Worm came in last.  "One" had
been correct: a good driver is as important as a good pony.  Perhaps Lee
would learn that if there was to be a next time.

Considering the great time everyone seemed to have..excluding the ponies
of course..I was certain there would be a next time, maybe a lot next
times.

Back at the paddock just as I was about to have my harness removed,
"One" came over and said,
"Leave his on." Meaning me. "And hers."
pointing to Lana's pony.
"A couple of Kurt's friends want to have a try with them."
Interesting i thought, they are discussing us as if we were real horses
with no say in the matter.
Well why not, we didn't have anything to say about it.

A few minutes later the two drivers arrived.
It was Kay and Herb. Herb was looking at me with a pursed lips smirk on
his face. It didn't require much thought to know who would be in my
sulky. Kay had no doubt been turned on by Lana's use of her attractive
friend and wanted to experience what driving another female would be
like.

I was completely exhausted from the ordeal of the race and looked
forward to a rest, but  Herb's pleasure would come first.
Herb got up in the drivers seat as "One" handed him the reins saying,
"Remember what I told you."
Herb touched my shoulder lightly with the whip and tugged the bit in my
mouth to the left with the reins. The tug was very forceful. I figured
Herb wanted to let me know who was master now.
As we headed out to the track, "One" shouted out,
"Remember what I told you..remind him."
I felt the sting of the buggy whip across each shoulder. I had just been
reminded of Kurt's rule for ponies. Always trot, knees up. I know I
should have felt anger towards Herb for the over zealous reminder, but
strangely I did not. What I felt, besides the bite of his whip of
course, was a heightened respect and even admiration for the new Herb.

Herb got some final instructions from "One" and we headed out to the
track. Herb said,
"Lee was really unhappy about your performance.He said your ass is mine
for the rest of the day..Toad. Maybe some day that will be
permanent..who knows.
That thought was not as repugnant as it should have been for some
reason. Actually I found it
a bizarre turn on.
Kay and her pony were already out on the track. They came breezing down
the home stretch, Kay's hair blowing behind her in the wind.
She was tapping her pony lightly with the whip and obviously having a
great time, although her pony was not, sweating and breathing heavily
through her mouth.
Herb called out to Kay,
"Hey good looking, how about a race."
His familiarity with Kay was grating, but then, hey why not, anything is
possible.
Her good natured reply was,
"Sure, why not, sounds like fun."
We lined up as before, this time without the gate. Lana's pony looked
over at me apprehensively. We both knew we were in for a rough time.