Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2003 13:31:50 -0700 (PDT) From: Mark Arbour Subject: On the Mark4 PREFACE: I am writing this story primarily as a self-exploration tool. I invite you to come along for the ride, which is sometimes rocky, often boring, and not always happy. Unfortunately, it's not always very erotic either. That being said, and if M/M and M/F sex doesn't upset you, read on. Since this is my story, please don't reproduce or publish it anywhere without asking me first: markarbour2000@yahoo.com. DEDICATION: This story, good, bad, or otherwise, is dedicated to John Walsh of "Fraternity Memoirs" fame, whose ability and willingness to bare his soul in his story inspired me to try to do the same. The next day, Monday, I decided to just kick back around the pool and listen to tunes. I was getting a pretty good tan, not too easy for me, so I figured working on it counted as "doing something". My mom and sister were off doing some event (my sister was always involved in something) and they wouldn't be back until tomorrow, so I pretty much had the house to myself until my dad came home. I had snagged a few joints from Darryl, so I smoked half of one and baked in the sun. I was listening to the radio, but I got lucky since they were playing music that I liked. "Carry on my Wayward Son", "Blinded by the Light", "Free Bird" (thinking about it makes me want to hold my lighter in the air), and my favorite, "Don't fear the Reaper". When it first came out I had no clue what a "reaper" was, but in typical 14 year old fashion I looked it up and then told my friends what it was, like I knew all along. In the early afternoon Mari came over. I wasn't really in the mood for company, but I couldn't be rude to her. She was all chattering and full of gossip about everyone. Most of it didn't really register...kind of like when my mom talks to me and I just nod like I hear her. Then all of a sudden she says "Jeana told me that Darryl is going out with Julie Spinoza. They're supposed to be really hot and heavy." That hit me like a thunderbolt. Julie Spinoza was a total fox, and had a pretty bad reputation. I'd never seen her and Darryl together. I was consumed with jealousy. So as Mari rambled on, I sat there fuming at myself about my illogical reaction to the news. I really had no right to be jealous, and I had no claim on Darryl. Plus the whole thought of having a "claim" on him, or on these jealous feelings, was pretty gay anyway. That sparked massive fear in me. If anyone ever found out about us, my life would be ruined. I'd be ostrasized for my whole life. I'd have no friends. Everyone would make fun of me. What kind of career would I have? The thought of being openly gay seemed at that point in my life like a death sentence. It just was not an option. I went to the bathroom to get a grip on myself (emotionally you pervs)...when I came back Mari was in the pool. God she was beautiful. I jumped in and did what any 14 year old guy would do to impress a girl. I splashed her, I dunked her....you know the romantic stuff. We were by the stairs in the shallow end and she slipped and fell backwards. For once, my reflexes were good and I caught her. It was one of those Hollywood movie moments. I looked in her eyes and it was like a trance. We were connecting big time. I don't know where I got the balls to do it, but I leaned in to kiss her, and she moved towards me. We started kissing kind of cautiously. Her lips were so soft, her body was so soft, her breasts against my chest felt so soft. Kissing was kind of awkward because I'd only had that one incident with Darryl, and she'd obviously not done it at all. It didn't take us too long to figure it out. My dick was so hard...just screaming for attention..and I pulled Mari close to me. I could feel her body pressed against me, feel her skin against my suit...against my dick. We stopped kissing for a minute and just looked at each other...she was smiling, so I did too. God she felt good. She said "We should get out of the pool" as she climbed the stairs. Shit, I thought. The mood was broken. Just when things were starting to get fun. I was tenting big time, but I thought "what the fuck" and I just walked out of the pool...didn't even try to hide the bulge. She was just staring at me...blushing a little. She walked into the house and turned around and kissed me again. "I didn't want anyone to see us", she whispered in my ear. We went over to the couch and kept on making out. I made the big move to take off her top...what, no fight?....and there, in front of me, were two real breasts...cute ones too. God, I was so horny. So we made out and she let me play with her tits..they were so soft. I really didn't know what I was doing, and I was kind of clumsy about the way I grabbed them, but she seemed OK with it. Then she whispered in my ear "I want to see you". I felt her hand go down my stomach...she traced the ouline of my dick with her hands. I almost blew a nut...this was the first time that anyone but me had ever touched my dick, so even though she was touching me through my bathing suit, it was pretty intense. I laid on my back and took off my suit. It was kind of funny, actually, like I was a live experiment for her. Her expression seemed to say "so that's what one of these looks like". "Can I touch it?" she asked. Like I'm gonna say no. "Yeah, go ahead". She put her hand on my dick and gently moved it up the shaft and over the head. She got a loud moan for her efforts. "What's this?" she asked, noticing the drop of pre-cum forming on the end. I told her what it was, and she asked me what it was like when I came. So I showed her how to stroke my dick, and in a few short minutes I blasted a big load all over my chest. Wow...my first hand job. She seemed pretty turned off by the cum, especially the part that got on her hand, and she was up pretty quick to wash up. Fine with me. My first reaction, now that I had shot my load, was that I had just fucked up another friendship, and that now things would be weird between us. But she came back from the bathroom in a good mood, and gave me a kiss and told me how cute I was. I was just about ready to go another round..she saw my dick hardening, giggled, and said she had to go home. Talk about confusing. I went up to my room and basically spent the day jacking off. I took off all my clothes and just laid on my bed and started to think about all these recent events. I found that my fantasies would waver back and forth between Mari and Darryl, but I was always thinking about Darryl when I came. Then afterwards I'd try to figure out what the hell this all meant. Ecstacy, inner turmoil, self-flagellation, ecstacy, inner turmoil..... On Tuesday Van came over and told me that our Climbing trip was going to be a two day deal, and we'd have to camp out. Apparently his parents were going to drop us off on their way out of town and pick us up on their way back. I'm no camper....Holiday Inn is roughing it for me...but the thought of spending two days (and a night!) with Van in his world overpowered my qualms. We went to the store and bought all the shit we'd need, and I sprung for a cool hiking pack. My parents weren't too happy about the overnight deal, and they were even less happy about the pack I bought, but they caved in the end. They loved Van, he could do no wrong, so I knew we'd have no problems with them. We left on Wednesday even earlier than planned (around 9:30). The drive up was pretty funny. Van's dad was trying to be cool so he put on the disco station. We're listening to "Disco Duck" and some KC and the Sunshine Band song and he's just jamming like he's got rhythm. Van and I were in the back seat trying not to giggle at him, but he was so lame, it was hard not to laugh. His mom seemed pretty oblivious...she was reading some romance novel and only talked once in a while to give Van's dad unsolicited advice about directions. They dropped us off, and as soon as the car was out of sight we started busting up laughing. "Man, your parents are so lame. Quack quack, quack quack," I said, immitating the discoing duck. "God, tell me about it". We hiked up to the base of this steep mountain and took a break. "You're keeping up well man", Van said, and I was beaming inside. I was having such a good time with him, just hiking along and bullshitting. "I'm gonna climb this mountain...it'll probably take me an hour or so. You probably want to take the trail there and meet me at the top", he said. My first reaction was that I didn't want to go off alone, and I didn't want to leave him. I was enjoying being with him. But I realized that I didn't know shit about climbing mountains, so I said "OK" and got some directions from him. I watched him start his climb. God, he was so perfect. As he climbed, every single muscle in his body seemed to strain and bulge. Especially the muscles in his ass. Move on, I told myself. You don't want to fuck up another friendship by showing him what a fag you are. I kind of got lost and wandered off the trail. It was kind of funny, one minute I'm tooling along just fine, the next minute I'm in this field of plants. Seemed kind of weird and out of place...then I noticed that they were pot plants, and that I was standing in the middle of about 50 Marijuana plants. I kind of freaked at first...you hear all these stories about how drug growers defend their plants with snakes tied to them, or dogs, or traps, or whatever. So I carefully retraced my steps. When I was almost out of the field, I thought what the fuck, and I snagged some buds from the nearest plant. They were pretty ripe. I must have nabbed about 2 ounces of pot, although it didn't seem like that much when I was jamming it in my back pack. Anyway, I got back on track and made it to the top of the mountain, all out of breath, and there was Van waiting for me. "What took you so long?" he demanded. I told him about my detour and the pot field (I didn't tell him I took some with me), and we both kind of freaked out and decided that we should get the fuck out of there. So we hiked for another couple of hours until Van finally decided we had reached a good camping spot. My feet were so sore, and I was dead tired, but I wasn't about to complain and I wasn't going to stop until he did. It was a pretty cool spot...about 100 feet from a creek so we had water handy. Van immediately got to work on setting up camp, which entailed setting up the tent and getting out the food we packed. We weren't "living off the land" thank God. I tried to help out where I could. "Let's go swimming in the creek," Van announced. "I'm all hot and sweaty and I reek." I was hot too. The weather wasn't too bad, probably about 85, but we'd been pushing along pretty hard. "I didn't bring my suit," I said. "Christ Mark, it's just the two of us. Do you wear a suit in the shower too?" OK...now this was going to be a challenge. Part of me was excited (!!) about seeing Van naked; Another part of me was worried that I'd get totally hard in front of him. "I just didn't want you to get an inferiority complex," I joked, trying to make the best of the situation. I started to take off my clothes, but I was more interested in watching Van strip. He took off his shirt first. He was an adonnis. He wasn't like Darryl, who was all muscle. No, Van was beefy. That was the word for it. Not fat, just big. He was a year older than me, and had started developing earlier still, so he had a pretty mature body. As he lifted up his shirt I got a great view of his armpits and the blonde hair that filled them. His chest and abs were hairless and muscular, though you couldn't see the muscles ripping through...it was like there was a small layer of fat that made him smooth. He sat down to take off his hiking boots and I moved along at the same pace. Then he stood up, with his back to me, as he removed his pants. His legs were huge, with big bulges in his calves. These were the legs of a man. He had blonde hair covering them...I had never noticed how hairy his legs were..that tapered off as it reached his ankles. Then he dropped his underwear and I got a view of his ass. Like the rest of him, it wasn't small, just muscular. It beautifully united his toned legs and awesome torso. What a sight! As he turned towards me, I remembered just in time to stop staring. I took stock of myself and was horrrified to discover that ogling him had caused my dick to start to plump...much more of this and I'd be throwing major wood. Still, I managed to take a peek at his dick, which seemed pretty big and hung over two huge balls. I'd never seen a guy with such a big pubic bush. "Hurry up Mark, I'm hotter than hell." Yes you are, I thought, as I shyly tossed off the rest of my clothes and jumped in the water. The cold water shrivelled my dick, and Van's too. It felt refreshing, and didn't take too long to get used to. Before long we were splashing each other. I am an expert water fighter. Another useless talent. But no one can out splash me. So as I dumped a ton of water on Van, he resorted to strategy B, which was to jump on my and wrestle me underwater. That was pretty effective. I struggled for quite a while, managing to slip away a few times, when he finally grabbed me from behind. As he dunked me my back rubbed against his body and I felt a big hard pole rubbing against my spine. God, he had a hard on! It must be huge. This is what I'm thinking about as he's holding me under the water and I'm about to drown. He let me up, then, as I was gasping for air, he picked me up. I felt his arm brush against my hard dick as he grabbed my legs and tossed me about 3 feet. He started laughing, I did the same (it was a little forced), then we sort of calmed down and started talking about practical shit. "Mark, I still have to get that other shit out of your bag." "What shit are you talking about?" I asked, wondering if he knew about my pot harvest. "Remember, we put our extra clothes and the extra sleeping bag in your pack." "No man, I thought you were going to carry that. I took the blankets and the drinks." Van looked alarmed and jumped out of the water and headed to our camp. It didn't take us long to realize that we had forgotten the sleeping bag and our clothes. He seemed pretty irritated. "I thought you were going to bring that shit," he threw at me. "Man, I just grabbed my pack. I'm sorry. Let's just try to work around it." He bitched for a few more minutes, and then, like he always does when he gets pissed, he got it out of his system and he was his usual cheerful self. So we ended up laying the sleeping bag out like a bottom sheet, and then we'd each grab a blanket for warmth. It wasn't quite like sharing a bed, but pretty much. "Man, I can't wear those clothes again tomorrow," he said. "I at least have to wash my shirt and my underwear." I agreed, so we did our number as washerwomen and hung them on a nearby tree to dry. By now it was getting dark, and we were really hungry. We made dinner (hot dogs and chips) and ate like pigs. After cleaning up, we were sitting there, looking at the stars, when I had an idea. I went to my pack and took out a small bud. "Look what I picked up during my detour, " I said, as I handed it to him. "No way," he smiled, "you scored some weed!" We talked about getting high. He told me that he'd done it a couple of times with friends at school, and that he'd always wanted to get high with me but was afraid I'd think badly of him. I laughed. "I'll try just about anything once," I said, then felt slightly uncomfortable. "How are we going to smoke this?" he asked. We had no papers, or pipes, or bongs...no paraphernalia at all. Darryl had told me that in a pinch you could use a coke can, so I proceeded to show Van what a druggie I was by making a pipe out of an empty Dr. Pepper can. It worked pretty well. In fact, that was some amazing pot, because it wasn't long before we were both very very stoned. So we laid on our backs in just our jeans, staring at the stars, and bullshitting. "So Mark, you ever been with a girl before?" he asked. This was the first time we'd really talked about sex. I told Van about Mari and my hand job. He thought that was pretty cool. "You two make a good couple, " he said. Well, we weren't exactly a couple, she just gave me a hand job...so we had that conversation. He told me that he had gone out with this one girl, Tanya, and they had played around. She tried to suck his dick, but it was too big for her and she finally gave up. He didn't even get a hand job. Poor guy. "Too big," I chided him. "She probably had a little bitty mouth and that was the problem." I was being funny, not expecting what was next. "You think so," he said, and stood up and took off his jeans. There he stood, in front of me, naked with a raging hard on. His dick was about 6" long, but it was really thick. Just like the rest of him, I thought. "Beat that," he taunted. What the fuck. I stood up and dropped my jeans too. I was a little over 5.5" (I eventually made it to 6.5) with about "normal" thickness. "You got me beat", I conceded. He sat back down on the ground, naked, and I followed suit. "All that talk about chicks got me horny as hell," he said. "You ever jack off?" "Pretty much all the time," I said, and we started laughing. "Me too....wanna jack off now?" he said, suddenly looking serious. "You mean together?", I asked, wondering where this was going. He got all defensive: "I'm no fag man, and I'm not gonna jack you off...I just need to get off and it would be easier to just do it here than wander off in the woods." Two thoughts ripped through my mind at lightening speed. The first was his reference to not being a fag, which made me question, once again, what that made me. The second thought was that he had gone out on a limb to ask, and that my question had embarassed him. So, I decided that the best thing to do was to lay back and start stroking my dick. He smiled at me and laid completely flat on his back. It was perfect, because I was propped up a bit so I got a great view of him stroking, and he was staring at the stars, not watching me watch him. The sight of him playing with his dick was so stimulating I had to really pace myself. I took myself to the edge several times, backing off while waiting for him. I wanted to come with him. He started off stroking his dick kind of slow, but picked up the pace after a few minutes. God, his dick was thick. As he got more and more excited, the head got bigger and bigger. It was hard to see at night, but it looked like it was bright purple. It looked like he was jerking off a can of coke. I heard him start to moan, and I picked up my pace. "Oh fuck", he cried, and started to shoot. I was just a shot behind him. I had nursed this wad while I watched him so it was big and intense. I decided what the fuck and let go and really moaned and yelled. "Fuck yeah!", I screamed. That seemed to keep him going even longer. When we leaned up we were both sitting there with a bunch of cum all over us. We smiled at each other and started lauging. "Shit man, you hit your ear," I said, as I instinctively reached out and wiped a glop of cum off his ear with my finger. "Yep, I went the distance," he joked, and he got up to go clean up. As he turned his back to me, I stuck my finger in my mouth...I wanted to taste his cum just once. I don't know that it mattered what it tasted like, though, the fact that it was his was all that mattered. We got cleaned up and headed to the tent to bed. It was just a two man tent, so pretty tight quarters. "Man, I do not want to wear my jeans to bed," he said. "Me either," I responded, until I realized that we'd end up sleeping in the nude. We laid down on the sleeping bag and he propped himself up on his right arm, facing me. "You know Mark, I've had a great time with you today." "This has been great," I responded, "and I'm not just talking about a few minutes ago", I joked. We both laughed, and he tousled my hair, then said good night and rolled over. I rolled over too, so we were back to back. After a few minutes, I felt him move and I felt something touching my ass. It was his ass. Ass to ass...that was kind of weird and comforting, all at the same time. For the first time in a while, I dozed off without thinking about Darryl. It must have been about 2 in the morning when I woke up. Something felt strange, and as I became aware of my surroundings I realized that Van had rolled over and was laying behind me..spooning, I believe, is the correct term. His left arm was draped over my side, hugging me. I felt so warm, so safe, so content, and in a pretty short period of time, horny as hell. It was going to be tough sleeping like this. He moved his left hand down in front of my stomach, as he was going to scratch his leg. When he got to my groin, he brushed it against my hard dick. Involuntarily, I moaned and moved back towards him. I felt his hard dick poking me in the ass. Suddenly I was terrified. There was no way I was going to let him put that monster up my ass. First of all, that would be totally gay, and I wasn't ready for that wall to come down. Next, it would hurt like hell. It was like he read my mind, and I felt him readjust himself so his dick was braced between my ass cheeks. I could feel his hairy bush against my asshole...this was an entirely new feeling, and I could feel my dick leaking pre-cum like crazy. Gently, he started to make fucking motions, running his dick up and down my crack, grazing my asshole with every stroke. Another involuntary moan escaped from my mouth. I was trying to keep cool since we were both still technically "asleep". I felt his left hand pull me into a closer hug, and as he hugged me he started making circles around my nipples with his index finger. He was driving me wild! I moaned again and pushed my ass against his hard cock, matching his slow steady rhythm. His hand teased my other nipple, then went back and forth between them. I felt his index finger run down my chest, tickle my navel, and run down my stomach. I felt his hand wrap around my cock and slowly start stroking. God his hand felt good. He was jacking me off just like he had jacked himself. His hands were rough, calloused...what a difference from Mari's soft hands. He continued to run his dick against my ass, and I began thrusting my hips into him, back into his ass, then forward into his hand. He was keeping the pace nice and slow, driving me crazy. My whole body was tingling....I felt a huge wave building, and then I exploded. That is the only way to describe it. It was like a seizure. It seems like I spewed shot after shot into his hand, each shot accompanied by a whole-body spasm. When I was done, I was like a limp rag. Completely spent. Oddly enough, after I came, he stopped rubbing his cock against my ass and instead laid on his back. Remember, we were still supposed to be "sleeping", even though that was pretty implausible. I rolled over and laid my head on his chest and nuzzled up next to him, and he put his arm around me. We laid like that for about 10 minutes...just long enough for me to recover my senses...when I decided that I had to return the favor. I started running my hand over his chest, playing with his right nipple. My mouth was close to his left one, so I began to flick that one with my tongue. He must have really like that, because his body tensed up and he moaned softly. Then, while sucking on his nipple, I moved my hand down his chest, across his stomach, with a light touch...almost tickling him, until I reached his coke-can pole. His dick was raging hard...hot to the touch. I ran my fingers gently up and down the shaft and around his head, again, using that really light touch. "Oh yeah," he moaned, in his soft, deep sexy voice. Slowly I moved my head down towards his cock. Maybe Tanya couldn't take his dick, but I could. I licked the tip of his cock, sucking off a drop of pre-cum, then opening my mouth as wide as I could, I lowered my mouth onto his cock touching it as little as I could. As soon as I felt it hit the back of my throat, I closed my mouth around his cock. That must have felt awesome, because he let out a loud moan and thrust eagerly at my mouth. I started sucking his dick slowly and gently, building him up. As he got more and more excited, I'd suck harder, and squeeze harder with my lips. My plan was to give him a good long blow job, but he was too excited already, so after about two minutes I felt his cock explode into my mouth. I was determined to swallow his load, but it was just too much. After he finished cumming, I kneeled up over him, just drinking in the scenery of his amazing body. He looked peaceful, with a big smile on his face. I went back to my original position of laying my head on his chest, wondering if he'd throw me off, but he wrapped both arms around me and hugged me close. The next morning we woke up about 10am. He looked down and had dried cum in his pubes, and I had dried cum on my side of the sleeping bag. "Must have had a great dream last night," he said with a big smile. We spent the rest of the day hiking back to where his parents would pick us up. Occasionally taking a hit from our Dr. Pepper pipe, just enjoying nature and each other. His parents met us on schedule and subjected us to more disco on the way back. Something by Maxine Nightingale and "Love Machine" were the two I remember.....when "Love Machine" came on I remember looking at Van with a smile and blushing slightly. I don't know if he picked up on it. That night my shower felt awesome. I went to bed exhausted, relaxed, and happy. And that night, my jack off fantasies had a new star.