Date: Sat, 17 Sep 2022 04:45:05 +0000
From: Lizard69 <69lizard69@pm.me>
Subject: Sticks and Stones

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Sticks and stones will break my bones... but calling me names excites me.

Sticks and Stones (m+m, fdom, reluctant bi, blackmail) Lizard69


	"Hey femboy!  Where's your boyfriend?!"

	"Out being a jerk somewhere, what's it to you?"

	Steve wasn't *that* much bigger or older than me.  He was already
fifteen while I wouldn't have that birthday until a week into the next
summer vacation.  My friend Alex was old enough to drive and had his own
car, the usual high miles clunker that's all a teenager can afford.  He was
also in high school while I was still trapped in middle school.  We spent
as much time together as we could manage but *I* didn't think of him as a
"boyfriend".

	Steve stood there for a minute as if he couldn't make up his mind
whether or not to be insulted.  As his buddies drifted off I wrote my
number on the corner of a notebook page then tore it off and handed it to
him.

	"If you can figure out what you wanted to ask me, call me later."

	I didn't bother to look back as he threw it away.  Maybe that's why
he didn't.  It was a little surprising when he actually called.

	"Hey femboy, whacha upta?"

	"Listening to some guy who wants to ask me something, trying to
piss me off enough that I'll hang up before he gets an answer.  I'm Joe,
you're Steve.  If there's something you want to know, asking might be a
good place to start."

	"Ok femboy, how can you let that queer do it to you?"

	"What the hell are you talking about?"

	"That guy you hang out with, everybody knows you're queer for each
other, or at least that you're letting him hump you."

	"Who exactly is *everybody*, and how can they *know* something
that's total bullshit?"

	"Are you kidding?  You act more fem than some of the girls.
Everybody knows the only time a high school kid hangs with a middle school
girl is to get what the girls his own age won't give."

	"Yeah, but I'm *not* a girl."

	"You're close enough for some people.  You gotta admit, most of the
time you don't act much like a guy.  Why don't you pull your nose out of a
book and get into sports or something?  At least take a swing at the next
guy that calls you femboy."

	"Cause I'd get flattened!  I'm blind on one side, don't see 3d and
can't judge distance worth a damn.  In a fight I might as well have a
bucket over my head.  The same goes for any sport that involves connecting
with a moving object.  I suppose I can run or swim but who needs to join a
team for that?"

	"Oh... that sucks.  I didn't know."

	"Well, keep it to yourself.  I've had more than my share of creeps
trying to look tough by beating up a kid that can't fight back.  Anyway,
what did you mean by, `close enough for some people'?"

	"You know... queers."

	"Look, I transferred in from a Catholic school.  That doesn't make
me totally retarded.  I know there's some guys that get off on other guys.
I suppose they start about the same time most guys go after girls.  I
haven't done anything with a girl yet but that's what I'm looking forward
to.  No guy has tried to get weird with me.  I sure as *hell* wouldn't put
up with that shit from Alex."

	"You really haven't done anything, with anybody?"

	"Neither have most of the other guys our age.  The only thing that
makes me strange is that I'll admit it.  Most guys run their mouth until
`locker room talk' is just another way of saying bullshit."

	"Yeah, well, bye."

	I thought that was the end of it.  I still caught some snarky
comments from a few of the guys at school but Steve and his friends left me
alone.  That really *should* have been the end of it.

	But...

	It's like, one of those things you know, but don't think about,
until somebody calls it to your attention.  Like your parents fucking,
everybody knows they do or at least did, or there wouldn't be a kid getting
grossed out by the idea.  Up until then, "cocksucker", was just a general
purpose insult, a way to start a fight, not an accusation.  Knowing that at
least a couple of people thought I was one made me want to run around
telling everybody I wasn't.  The problem is, I couldn't think of anything
more certain to convince anybody who was wondering that I really was.  If
the first call from Steve was a surprise, the second was confusing.

	"I didn't expect to hear from you again."

	"As far as anybody else knows, you didn't, not now, not ever.  I
hear any rumors around school, I'll pound you flat."

	"Then why call?"

	"I'm having a little party at my place Saturday afternoon, about
two o'clock.  My folks will be out of town.  It's just me, a couple of
friends and a girl I've had the hots for as long as I've known her.  She's
the one that got you on the guest list by offering to entertain us if you
were there.  I don't know what she has in mind but she said she'd do
something really special for me if I can talk you into not jacking off
between now and the party."

	"What?!"

	"Yeah, that's what I said.  I can't think of any way she could
know.  You'll be doing me a favor if you show up at all.  The other is up
to you.  As far as my friends know, you're there as her guest."

	So, Saturday came around and we were in the basement at Steve's
place.  It was just us four guys with soft drinks and chips, a stereo
playing low, until Kelly showed up.  Steve broke out a bottle of something
and the soda turned to mixed drinks as the volume crept up.  Kelly ditched
her jacket when she started dancing and we all cheered her on as more of
her clothes followed.  She finished in a black bra and panties that might
have been a skimpy swim suit or maybe just underwear.

	She wrapped her arms around Steve's neck and they spent some time
whispering in each others ear before he turned and told me to come with
them.  There was a door between the part of the basement they had finished
as a rec room and the rest that they were using for the furnace and
storage.  The overhead lights were out but there was a desk lamp on a pile
of boxes facing the far wall, lighting up something we couldn't see and
bouncing enough light our way to get us there.  The boxes had been stacked
far enough from the wall to leave space for one of those folding roll away
beds the hotels stick kids with, the ones like a lumpy, oversize, camp cot.
I turned to find Kelly and Steve blocking the aisle.

	"Boys talk.  By Monday afternoon half the school will hear that I
stripped naked and let those guys take turns.  By Friday there won't be a
handful of guys willing to admit they weren't here and didn't have me."

	She stepped in close and started running a fingertip up and down my
shirt front.  I'd seen her around.  Brunette, a couple inches shorter than
me, a body that was more a preview of coming attractions than anything
special.  Then again, she wasn't running around school in a couple scraps
of fabric that stitched together wouldn't have made a fair sized catch rag.

	"You're going to keep that from happening."

	"Uh... How?"

	"When Steve told me the class queer was a virgin I almost choked
laughing, then decided he was going to help me fix that.  The plan was to
get a few guys together, tease them `til they're so damn horny they'll fuck
*ANYTHING* then slide you under them.  We're more than half way there."

	"You gotta be kidding?!  Steve, tell me she's kidding!  No!
There's just no fucking way I'm doing anything like that!"

	Her voice stayed low and sweet but there was a hint of something
steel hard underneath as she started poking me in the chest.

	"Let's get something straight faggot.  You're a total femboy
whether you've actually taken a cock yet or not.  There's no way I'm going
to let you wreck my reputation trying to save a cherry the whole school
thinks you lost long ago."

	I felt the bed against the back of my legs, lost my balance and sat
down with a thud.  To my surprise, she sat down next to me.  Her free hand
had been dragging Steve by the belt buckle.  Unzipping his fly she pulled
out his cock.  Slowly running the tip of her tongue up the underside caused
a clear drop of pre-cum to form by the time she swirled her tongue around
the head.

	"Your turn... just like that."

	"I...  I can't.  Really, I just can't!"

	She started slowly stroking his cock while her free hand traveled
lightly up and down my back.

	"I'm trying really hard to make this as easy as possible for you
but you need to do your part too.  Start by getting this whole, `can't,
won't, don't', thing out of your head right now.  You're not *going* to do
gay, it's already happening.  My pussy is built to take a pounding.  I can
get away with spreading my legs and imagining I'm somewhere else.  Unless
you have him just about ready to pop when he slips it in, you won't be able
to walk by the time he's done."

	Kelly was at least sort of right.  The only way I could stop
thinking *can't* was to stop thinking, or at least limit my attention to
what was in front of me.  It was easier than I expected, maybe because I
really didn't want to think about where it would end.  She held him steady
as I leaned in and took my first taste.  It started to bob as she let go to
move around behind me until she was sitting on her heels with my skinny
butt between her spread thighs.  I was trying to decide if it was worse to
grab Steve's cock or chase it with my tongue while she pulled off my shirt.
By the time I settled the question a pair of nipples were brushing against
my bare back though I had no idea exactly when she lost her top.

	"Now you're getting it.  You have to be really careful about teeth.
Next time, open wide, pull your lips in to cover the edges and take the
head in your mouth before you swirl your tongue around it.  That's it, trap
the head in your mouth and give it a real bath.  You know how sensitive
that spot on the underside right near the end is.  You'll have to go a
little deeper to do it right."

	She had me circle his dick with a finger and thumb before she let
me come up for air.  I was surprised and actually a little disappointed to
see I'd only had a couple inches in my mouth.  It felt huge.  By then I'd
reached some sort of peak in my ability to blush.  Each new demand brought
a quick surge of heat but the total didn't seem to be getting any worse.
Kelly had unfastened my own Levis and pushed Steve back far enough I could
stand up while she pulled them down along with my underwear.  When she
pulled me back across the bed I lifted my feet trying to keep from going
completely over and Steve finished stripping me.  She pulled a towel and a
tub of lube from under the bed.

	"Lay down, it's time to get you ready.  No, on your back and pull
your knees up.  Farther, lift your ass so I can slide the towel under it.
Now spread, you can't help being tight but we need to get you as wet and
slippery as possible.  Hey!  Look at me while I play with your ass.  You'll
have plenty of time for the thousand yard stare later."

	"You can't expect me to..."

	"Hush.  Concentrate on me massaging you, pushing lube into you, my
fingers dipping deeper and deeper until...  Don't clamp down!  They're
already inside and you'll hurt yourself.  That's it, just relax and let
yourself open up for me."

	She nodded and Steve got on the bed.  I started to panic when I saw
that he'd gotten undressed while Kelly kept me occupied.

	"Easy there, the last thing you want to do is tense up right now."

	She leaned in until all I could see was her face, while Steve moved
into position and she lubed him up as well before positioning the head of
his cock at my hole.

	"You need to watch him now.  Don't worry.  He's not going to gaze
romantically into your eyes or try to kiss you.  It's his first time.
There's nothing quite like watching a boy become a man.  Go on Steve, just
like I told you.  Slowly put your weight behind it."

	"Please stop!  Don't make me do this!  I can't..."

	She covered my mouth with one hand while the other continued
stroking his shaft.

	"Give it time.  Hold the pressure and wait for his ass to give up
the fight.  I can keep you hard longer than he can keep you out."

	She was right again.  It couldn't have been more than a couple of
minutes though it felt like forever.  The head of his cock began to sink
deeper and deeper into my ass.  It hurt.  It felt like I was heartbeats
away from being ripped wide open.  My vision got blurry.  I guess I was
starting to cry.  Every time I thought I couldn't take anymore it sank a
little deeper into me.

	As the ridge around the head passed through my tightly stretched
ring it got, different.  Not easier... not exactly...  It's like up until
that moment there was some kind of totally irrational hope that it wasn't
really going to happen.  Like there was some chance that they'd tell me to
get dressed and it was all a joke.  Now that he was in me, how deep really
didn't matter.  As it went deeper there was no room for her hand.  She
pulled the other off my mouth and kissed me as I felt his scratchy pubes
against my ass.

	"Watch close now.  With every thrust he'll get smoother, less
hesitant, more confident.  He'll still cum way too soon but by the time he
does he'll be a man.  That doesn't mean you'll be a woman.  What's
happening to you is something different.  Every man has a feminine side.
In some it's hard to find.  In others it's really strong, too strong to
resist when there is a real man around.  You're opening up in a way that's
more than physical.  You're accepting what he's doing to you, using your
naked body for his pleasure."

	Steve came just then, wiped his dick on the free end of the towel
under my ass and started to get dressed.  Kelly put her top back on and
walked with him to the rec room side of the basement.  There were all sorts
of feelings churning inside me but right then I was too wiped out to do
much more than stare at the unfinished supports for the floor above asking
myself what in the hell I had done.  If I had thought, if the possibility
had occurred to me that it might not be over, I would have...  I don't
know...  something...  When I heard male whispering and a feminine giggle
come around the pile of boxes I barely had time to think, "Oh my God".
That was better than Steve's friend.  He seemed completely at a loss for
words, until he blurted out.

	"He's got a hardon."

	"Yeah, femboys are like that.  Don't worry.  I'm here to give you
something to get hot about."

	"But..."

	"Shh, play with me while I undress you.  I'll even get bare but you
have to first.  He'll need some more lube, that's all.  By the time I have
you horny enough to fuck anything, he'll be so hot from watching us he'll
spread for you just like he did for Steve."

	"You mean you didn't..."

	"Uh-uh.  Steve still got a load off, and so will you when you want
to.  Until then, come here and kiss me."

	I can't say it was all that hot watching them kissing and groping
each other.  When I obeyed her command to pull my knees up and apart I just
wanted it to be over.  That didn't stop him from fucking me or keep me from
noticing the same sort of transformation Steve went through.  This time she
stayed with me and asked him to send the last guy in.

	"Ok you sorry little cunt.  I'm tired of doing the heavy lifting.
You're going to tell this one how it's Ok to fuck you, that it doesn't make
him queer, just horny.  I know you're tired and your ass is sore and
sucking another cock is about as exciting as eating cold mashed potatoes.
This isn't about what you want.  This is about the day three horny kids
became men and a timid little femboy learned what it means to give
everything he has to please somebody else."

	Then he was there and, well...  Look, none of them had been what
I'd call shocked to find out that getting their dick wet meant switching
partners.  This guys big problem was trying not to look too eager.  Sitting
on the edge of the bed, I kept looking up, waiting for the moment when I'd
have to assure him it was Ok.  Instead, when we finally made eye contact it
was like that, all by itself, was an engraved invitation to get naked and
get on me.  He wasn't looking at Kelly or off to the side.  He was looking
down at me, and I discovered I could blush a little more after all.  It
wasn't romantic, at least not like the movies.  I tried to be like, "Ok,
you're fucking me, no big deal."  While he was totally, "I can't believe a
boy can be so girly. This is so fuckin' neat!"  For a minute I was scared
that he would try to kiss me then he was adding his load to the lube and
baby batter already leaking down my ass crack.

	It didn't take long for him to dress and leave.  That left me
looking up at Kelly a few minutes later as she dropped her bikini bottoms
and wiping a puddle of pre-cum off my tummy, used it to wet her ass hole
before settling onto my cock.  Have you ever had a low grade case of blue
balls for so long that you'd almost rather curl up and sleep than make
yourself cum?  She wasn't half way down my shaft when I popped a load that
hurt as much as it helped.

	"There.  You were nice to him.  So I was nice to you and if you
ever say one word to anyone about having your dick in me I'll make sure
everyone knows three guys took turns on you first."

	We cleaned up as much as we could and got dressed.  Kelly and I
were the last to leave.  I'm not sure how I made it home.  I was pretty
much out of it.  It also shouldn't surprise anyone that I didn't feel much
need to jack off that day or the next.  School on Monday could have been
worse.  Steve and his buddies kept their distance.  At least most of them
did.  As I was leaving for the day some guy made a creepy comment and one
of the guys from the party called him on it, said he was entitled to his
opinion but hassling a kid who wouldn't fight back was chicken shit.

	"Uh, thanks.  I suppose you want to take off before too many people
see you talking to me."

	"Yeah, well, I didn't get your number."

	This time I was pretty sure he would call, just not so sure I
wanted him to.  At the party, he was the last guy.

	"Hey femboy,"

	"Hi, this is kind of awkward, I gave you my number and don't even
know your name."

	"I'm Eric.  I just wanted to say I'm sorry, you know, about what I
did at the party."

	"Does it matter?"

	"I, uh, don't know what to say."

	"Then be quiet and listen.  Kelly invited me but she did it through
Steve and included a comment that made me think there might be sex
involved.  I don't know if the whole thing was her idea or something she
and Steve dreamed up together.  It wasn't until the three of us got to the
back room that I found out I was there to have sex, just not with her."

	"Sort of like the rest of us."

	"Yeah.  Sort of.  She made it real clear that it didn't matter what
I wanted or that I'd never been with anyone.  I was a place for Steve to
stick it after she got him so horny he was damn well going to stick it
somewhere.  I'm not even sure they planned to take it any further than her
teasing him to, `become a man', by busting a nut in the class queer."

	"Oh shit."

	"It was all messed up.  She got bare and sat there telling us what
to do, like directing the action or maybe more like playing with life size
dolls.  She never came right out and said you guys would beat me up and
hold me down if I didn't play along but that's the message I got.
Like... do it with Steve or have all of you taking turns."

	"So you did it with Steve."

	"Uh-huh.  It was like, some kind of warped tease, where she kept
telling me to do things that would make it hotter for him and hell for me.
I guess I could have refused.  By that time all I really wanted was for him
to get done and get off of me.  When they left I thought that was the end
of it, until she came back with the next guy, then told him to send you
in."

	"Oh."

	"I won't say that was the worst of it.  By then everything was so
messed up I couldn't point to any part of it and call it worst.  Steve had
to choose between me begging him to stop and Kelly telling him to `be a
man' and `give the little femboy what he's too scared to ask for'.  She
seemed to get a special kick out of helping him lose his virginity by
taking mine.  She made me watch him looking everywhere but at me while he
did it, including his, `what the fuck have I done', expression right after
he came.

	"I think now that it might have ended there, Steve taking a chance
I wouldn't tell in order to put some distance between himself and what he
did.  She had him half convinced that raping me was no big deal.  But...
It's easier to handle guilt if you can spread it around and taking his turn
on a `slut' who did all of you isn't nearly as bad as raping a virgin.
Just before you got there she gave me a threatening little pep talk that
made it clear I didn't have to be enthusiastic but had damn well better be
more accommodating."

	"Oh shit.  It's a good thing we're on the phone.  If I was there in
person you'd try to rip my `nads off for what I have to tell you.  When
Steve asked who was next I volunteered for last place.  I don't know if I
should tell you this.  You're going to think I'm the creepiest pervo..."

	"And how much does that matter?"

	"Well, you know how in the movies a group of guys will sometimes
grab a girl and promise they won't hurt her if she's nice to them?  Like
really nice... to all of them?"

	"I'm not sure I like where this is going."

	"They show more or less details depending on the movie but all of
them have a shot of the girl when the guys are done with her.  I can't
watch a movie like that alone without hitting pause at that spot.  There is
something that's just incredibly hot about a girl who has just done it with
a bunch of guys."

	"So, that's why."

	"Why what?"

	"Steve and the other guy, it was like this weird thing that was so
creepy and nasty it almost wasn't even sex.  Like they were playing this
game with Kelly then using my ass to masturbate.  I was only sucking them
so they wouldn't ream me raw before getting a load off.

	"You were fucking me, using the whole boy instead of the boy hole.
It was still rape.  If I had any kind of choice I would have been somewhere
else.  With the others it was like they were doing this ugly thing to me so
their dick would feel something before they ran away.  You wanted to do it.
What you did wasn't nice but at least you were *there*.  Right now I don't
know if that makes it better or worse.  I know it scares me."

	"I don't want to scare you."

	"Thanks, but...  Look, anyone else who was there isn't going to say
or do anything.  They don't want to get in trouble, don't want to even
think about what they did.  I don't have that choice.  Uh, after you
learned how to jerk off, did you ever try to stop?  How did that work for
you?"

	"Not very good."

	"I haven't done it since... you know.  I'm going to start again.  I
can't *not* do it for much longer.  There is no way in hell I can do it
without thinking about what happened.  None of it was good but maybe it
won't be so awful if I concentrate on the part that was least bad."

	"Oh...  Oh my God!  Did you just tell me you're going to think
about me raping you while you jerk off?  I'm sorry, but I can't deal with
that right now, maybe not ever.  Bye."

	Well, he didn't call for a week, and then another.  I saw him
around school but kept my distance.  The last thing I wanted was for him to
get the idea I was chasing him.  Kelly would flash me a smile when we
passed in the hall, if she wasn't with friends, which was most of the time.
The other guys seemed nervous at first but as time passed and nothing
happened they sort of went back to normal except for leaving me alone.
That was almost worth a sore ass... almost.  A lot of the shit bouncing
around inside my head started to settle.  By the time he finally called I
had gone pretty far towards reaching some new kind of normal.

	"Uh, hi."

	"Hi."

	The pause stretched out until I really thought he'd hang up.

	"Uh...  Are your still afraid?"

	"Uh-huh, just getting scared of different stuff."

	"Anything I can do?"

	"Yeah, but I was kind of hoping you wouldn't.  I guess if I can say
that much I should drag it all out into the open.  I can jerk off without
crying now.  I can't without remembering what you did to me.  I guess I can
deal with that.  It's not like I have a choice.  It is what it is.  The
dreams are worse."

	"Dreams?  You mean..."

	"Not like that, not actually doing anything, I'm just going places.
Like, I'm on a bus, going to a house out on the edge of town.  Nobody is
living there right now but it has a free standing garage that isn't locked.
Or I'm in this run down apartment building that's mostly vacant looking for
a certain door.  The worst one is where I'm walking down an alley near my
house looking for a family size tent set up in the back yard.  It's a party
for older kids, college age, mostly girls but some of them have their
boyfriends there.  I'm not going to any of these places because I want to.
I got a call telling me where to be and when to be there.  I don't know for
sure what's going to happen there and I'm trying real hard not to think
about it."

	"Man, that's weird."

	"Yeah.  The worst part is it's always your voice on the phone but
I'm usually sure you won't be there."

	"Usually?"

	"Oh shit.  It's not what it sounds like!  I don't have a choice
about that, or anything else.  It's just, like, `the devil you know'.
Understand?"

	"Maybe.  Like if I gave you an address and a time to be there,
you'd go."

	"If it was a choice of you knowing what I was doing or everyone
finding out what I did..."

	"And if it was a choice of being with a stranger who might brag or
somebody who is already staying quiet about the last time?"

	"Like I said, `the devil you know', but that's not the same as
asking for it."

(Probably not)
The End