Date: Wed, 29 Dec 2010 09:55:23 -0000 From: Nick Subject: Keeping it in Family - Chapter 29 Keeping it in Family -- Chapter 29 WARNING: The following true story -- only the names of the participants have been changed -- contains descriptions of gay, bisexual and incestuous activity between adult relatives and others, activities which may be illegal in some jurisdictions or cause offence against some religious beliefs. Please do not read any further if you are likely to be offended by its content or if it might be illegal in your country! By the way, the story is written with the full knowledge and approval of all the living persons having significant mention therein. * * * * About an hour into my journey, Tom called. He had set up our conference call for 11am on Monday, between himself, Jerry, Jill and me. He felt sure we would be able to agree my personal terms and asked that I should consider the Newcastle/Wales conundrum over the weekend. As soon as I got within striking distance of home I called Sarah again, "I'll see you in about twenty or twenty-five minutes, darling. I've got even more to tell you about over dinner now." "What makes you still think that dinner comes first?" "Well, if it doesn't, the news will have to wait! See you soon. Bye for now." I parked the car in the drive, gathered my belongings and was surprised Sarah wasn't at the door to welcome me. I unlocked it and went in, took off my shoes and put my baggage in the hall, still no Sarah; then I heard a door close upstairs. I crept up as quietly as I could and as I opened our bedroom door, Sarah sprang from behind it. She leapt up at me, her hands onto my shoulders, her legs round my waist. I nearly fell forwards with her weight. Her short, flimsy nightie was round her waist; her pussy was pressed against my groin as she brought her lips to mine and gave me a very wet kiss, pressing her tits to my chest. "Anybody would think that I'd been away for two weeks, not just two days," I said as I staggered towards the bed and lowered her on to it. She released her grasp and was left lying there, her legs wide apart, boobs pointing skywards. "It seems like ages," she muttered huskily as I threw aside my trousers, noting the wet patch on the front, just below the waistband. A second later my shirt and CKs were gone. Percy was nearing full erection as I dropped to my knees, tongued her cunt briefly then slid gently upwards and into her. All too soon, I heard her groan, then after three or four more strokes I let my spunk fly deep inside her body before we collapsed in a sweaty heap on the bed. "That was far better that our tele-wank last night," she said. "It was indeed," I said kissing her long and hard, showing my appreciation as Percy slowly regained his composure and dropped from her cunt, before we relaxed, side-by-side, naked on the bed. "Alison called earlier, among other things she was asking about our sex life." "In what way?" "Well, she says she is so randy all the time; Rob thinks he is in heaven!" "Good for Rob. We're doing pretty well ourselves!" There was a sharp slap across my bare bum. "She wanted to know if we were shagging more or less than before I was pregnant." "I hope you said twice as much!" Another slap on the other cheek; actually I was beginning to find her new-found chastisement quite sexy. Percy was definitely feeling a bit twitchy already! "I shall have to talk to Rob." "Don't you dare tell him what Alison said." "As if I would, anyway, are we having a shower?" "Just a quick one." "I thought that's what we just had." Sarah was behind me; two sharp slaps, one on each naked buttock was my reward. We quickly showered, dried ourselves and dressed. "Dinner will be ready ten minutes," she said. "The beef casserole is waiting for us!" "Great! At last I will be able to give you my news." Over the candlelit dinner for two, accompanied by a bottle of Chateau Maurine, I went through the company reorganisation, the remaining ifs and buts, and its opportunities for me. I told Sarah that the proposed MD appointment in Newcastle was something of a charade, a precursor for the DCEO post in the new structure. "So you could set up the Divisional Head Office here in Birmingham so we wouldn't have to move to Newcastle?" "Right in one; presupposing that I get the job, of course. I must admit to some misgivings about moving up there. It's too far away from Mum and Dad; Rob says he doesn't see them often enough. I know you'd like to be near yours, especially as an only child." "That's great, go for it, Nick! Divisional Chief Executive Officer, TeeWee Networks has a great ring to it. Raising our kids in this house will be the icing on the cake!" "TW Networks, please. You know how annoyed Larry gets with `TeeWee'!" "Alright, dear, I'll remember! It's apple strudel for dessert, with real custard, OK?" "Excellent, I'll put the real coffee pot on." We spent the rest of the evening relaxing, discussing the trip to France, new jobs, Sarah's latest assignment, and generally mooching about before going up to bed. "No more hanky-panky tonight!" Sarah decreed and indeed I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. There was little out of the ordinary at work on Friday, though I was a bit disturbed to catch a rumour about my moving north. Compared with recent weeks, the weekend was also fairly ordinary with shopping, housework and a brief visit to Sarah's parents. We made love again Saturday night, a long, relaxed, smoochy session, spent exploring the intimate crevices of each other's bodies before we exploded into our usual near simultaneous climaxes and then cleaning each other up in our usual way. Sarah reminded me that there was a three day embargo before our early morning flight on Friday. The conference call on Monday started decisively, with Jill readily agreeing with Tom that my initial move to Newcastle as Managing Director should attract terms two steps above my present grade, both in salary and perks. However, she was rather reluctant to commit to Tom's proposal of a further one grade move should I be appointed as DCEO, but eventually agreed to consider it. As I was already getting a thirty percent pay increase I decided not to push the matter at this stage! Jill left the call when Tom moved on to talk about the new Divisional structure. I suggested that North Wales and Newcastle should both be in the Midlands Division, leaving Scotland and Northern Ireland and the Northern Division. With very little business in Powys and Ceredigion, South Wales could logically become part of the Southern Division. This seemed to me to represent a fair balance both of size and technology. Jerry was rightly a little concerned that Midland Division would become substantially the biggest grouping but Tom eventually won him over, saying it left scope for growth in the North and South. Larry and Hubert had talked to both of them after the meeting about my future and all four supported my eventual appointment as DCEO. Being based in the Birmingham office rather than Newcastle, would make for easier travel to Winchester or London as required. Sarah had remembered that Monday was the anniversary of our first meeting (how do women keep track of such mundane things?) and suggested an evening out, choosing the Loch Fyne fish restaurant in Knowle, not far from our home. We enjoyed a pleasant, unhurried meal in what were fairly basic surroundings but providing excellent food and service. We drove the few miles and were home about 9.30pm. Of course such an anniversary had to end with making love, especially as I was on an embargo for the next three days! Sarah went up and by the time I had locked up, brushed my teeth and put the lights out, Sarah was already in our king size bed. The lights were low and I could smell one of her scented candles burning. She was lying there, eyes closed, the slightest of smiles on her lips, her legs spread-eagled, with only the sheet pulled up over her but not so far as to hide the dark bush between her legs showing through the sheer fabric of her nightie. I undressed quietly and now completely naked, I leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips; there was no reaction. I went round the bed and pulled her towards me so that she was lying across the bed, her head towards me, she squealed as I kissed her harder and longer. I knelt on the bed behind her head and started nibbling her ear lobes, then her nipples, first one, then the other through the thin fabric. Suddenly, she jumped up, undid the buttons of her nightie and she was naked in a flash. On her knees, facing me, she started teasing my prick and balls with her long fingers. Do as I would, it was impossible to stop the near instant reaction of my cock to her playful tweaking but I was determined she wasn't getting it all her own way! I pushed her down on to the bed again and still kneeling at her head, went back to work on her now hardened nipples, conscious that my balls were brushing her face and that my prick was steadily growing. Then I was kissing Sarah's satin smooth belly and moving onwards to bury my face in her neatly trimmed bush. By this time she was nibbling my ample foreskin, then pushing it back with her lips and taking my growing knob into her mouth. Time to move on! I flipped her around again and was quickly on my knees between her legs, my head down and her thighs against my shoulders, her feet on my back, my hands under her plump buttocks, my tongue in her crack. I slowly licked her growing clit, up and down, round and round, all the time trying to slow down my own rapidly building readiness. After a few short minutes she started moaning gently; the signal had come quickly tonight! I lifted her buttocks and pulled her quickly towards my now fully rampant manhood, its engorged knob completely exposed by my retracted foreskin. I dived into her with one great thrust. She screamed with pleasure and I rested for a moment in a near vain attempt to delay my own climax. Together, we started pumping, in and out, in and out, faster and faster. Almost every thrust was hitting the target, finding her cervix, deep inside her body. We were both building towards our climax with every stroke, holding off as long as we could, until suddenly I had to let go. I pictured the great spurt of semen shot as it shot from my now rock-hard prick, deep into her womb. At the same moment, Sarah screamed with the pleasure of her own orgasm, as the spurts of semen from my cock grew weaker and weaker. We collapsed limply into a heap, puffing and panting like a steam train, my dick still pulsating in her red-hot love chute. I was kissing her all over, belly, breasts, lips, then when my prick slipped out, I went back to her musky slit, licking the juices and tonguing her still rigid clitoris, sliding my body over hers, lubricated by the sweat of our love-making. Then she was pulling me upwards. As I knelt astride her belly, I felt her bush tickling my ass. She sat up, I leaned forward. She took my softening prick into her mouth and sucked it clean of her juices and mine. She took my balls, one at a time into her mouth and gave them the most exquisite licking. I turned around and knelt again at her head for her to repeat the performance while I licked her clean between the legs. Our breathing had calmed, I turned and we lay alongside each other in a close embrace. We kissed long and deep and hard, then fell back exhausted! As usual, we were awakened by the alarm clock at 6.30. I rolled over, our naked bodies came together, I put my hand flat on Sarah's belly, thinking of our baby that Sarah would be pushing out from there in a few months. I slipped my hand down to cover her cunt, last night it had tightly gripped my prick. In February it would expand enough for the baby to pass. No engineer could better what God had done to design a mechanism to give such pleasure and to be so functional! "Oh no you don't, no more until the weekend!" My reverie was broken. I brought my lips to Sarah's and we kissed hard and long, causing my prick to feel decidedly twitchy. Sensing this, Sarah gave it a tug and said "Cold shower time!" and pushed me towards my side of the bed before rolling out on her side and heading for the bathroom. After she had peed, I quickly shaved, then joined her in the shower for our wash-down, paying close attention to the bits that gave us so much pleasure. Dressed and over breakfast, we discussed our plans for the rest of the shortened week. Sarah would finish her assignment by that evening at the latest, leaving plenty of time for packing, shopping, cleaning and whatever. I expected my week to be fairly busy, broken perhaps by final negotiations over the Newcastle questions. We would pack our bags on Wednesday evening and have an early night on Thursday before the dawn departure for France on Friday. And so it was! Clare called on Wednesday evening to check we were still OK for Friday; Roger was doing a late clinic but she confirmed there would be four other couples, two with children already, ourselves and another expecting first babies and one couple still trying hard, as Clare put it. She and Roger would meet us all in Terminal 1 at Birmingham Airport at 5.00am -- right opposite the Novotel, the concrete carbuncle where Sarah and I had lost our virginity to each other, on the night of our wedding day! Roger would go through the agenda for the weekend after we had all checked in. Roger and Clare were waiting under the departures board with another couple when we arrived. As soon as we had been introduced to Eric and Pamela, I noticed our favourite policeman approaching! Derek recognised us immediately and introduced us to his wife Jane, joking that they were both off-duty for the weekend. We were soon joined by John and Alice, Ian and Ruth, and Sid and Pat. We were all around the same age. After we had checked in for the flight to La Rochelle and gone through security and Roger found us all a quiet corner in the departures lounge -- not difficult at that time on a Friday morning -- before going through his planned itinerary. Check-in to the hotel, a converted 16th Century chateau, time to unpack before meeting the drug company people over coffee and croissants about 10.30am. Light lunch at 12.30pm; retire for the men to produce samples by 3pm. Pat naively asked what the women would be doing! Sarah whispered to me that she knew what she would be doing. Roger suggested we might like to try out the hotel pool and spa while he took the samples to the hospital labs. Dinner would be at eight, in a private room at the hotel. On Saturday morning, the women would go on a trip to a nearby perfumery while the men had what Roger described as an intimate medical examination. We would all meet for a light lunch at a small country auberge close to the hospital, before an afternoon tour of an historic chateau. Dinner was arranged at a celebrated, Michelin starred fish restaurant. On Sunday we were to be taken on a tour of several local wineries, before dinner back at the hotel. Monday was free for shopping or sightseeing but "we may need to see some of the men back at the clinic for an hour or so", Roger said, looking directly at Derek and me. "We need to leave the hotel at 6pm for the airport. There will be dinner on the plane. Oh, and by the way, all your costs except personal shopping are on the drug company," Roger added. "I will be giving you each detailed information pack, including an expense claim form, in a minute. Are there any questions so far? You can study the details during the flight, if there is anything else, just ask. And remember , I am off duty so there is no need to use the `proper' words for your bits and pieces!" After an uneventful flight, we were met by Gillaume, a jolly man, perhaps a little older than us, with his fifteen seat luxury minibus. He worked for the drug company and undoubtedly he knew the purpose of our trip! During the thirty minute journey to the hotel he entertained us with lots of local information, an obvious enthusiast! He was to be our driver for the whole weekend. The hotel was a magnificent building at the end of a long, straight, poplar-lined drive and set in superbly kept grounds. The enormous, high-ceilinged, wood panelled reception area was beautifully appointed with huge chandeliers and expensive soft furnishings. Even the 21st century lifts were hidden in the panelling! We were allocated to six adjacent suites on the second floor, reached along a deeply carpeted corridor lined with French antiques. Our suite, next to Roger and Clare, was sumptuously furnished. Being on the corner of the building, both the lounge and bedroom overlooked the surrounding parkland to the mountains beyond. The marble lined bathroom was enormous, with a huge bath, double basin, toilet and big double shower with jets from floor to ceiling, looking more like a space capsule! Of course there was also a bidet, that item of continental bathroom furniture that was the butt of so many bad English jokes! There was even a television set, "In case of extended occupation!" Sarah joked. Back in the bedroom, we tried the huge bed, the most comfortable one I had ever slept in. "Plenty of scope for nocturnal activity here," I said, earning myself another slap but as compensation, Sarah pulled me down on to the bed and embraced me tightly. Our lips clamped together , our tongues darting into each other's mouths, "A true French kiss," Sarah said as we broke apart. We quickly unpacked and tidied ourselves up before going to the lounge for the coffee and croissants. Ian and Ruth, and Sid and Pat were already there, marvelling at the accommodation. The rest of the group soon joined us. In true French style, drug company people were late but when they arrived, Roger introduced us all, and the lead researcher, Jean-Pierre, gave an excellent, presentation, layman's style in English, of their work on a new male fertility drug. The men were to be part of that research; the women were just here for the ride, he said. In spite of his excellent command of English, he did not understand the laughter his double-entendre provoked. Roger explained it to him in French; Sarah giggled at the reply and was immediately noted as the only other French speaker among the mono-lingual English visitors. J-P (jay-pay) as he said we should call him, explained that he would need a fresh sample of semen from each of the men. "In case there is any small problems, I `ave some videos that can `elp you." He handed each man, including Roger, two DVDs and a small bottle from his briefcase. "Or maybe your wives can `elp also, but you must not use any preservatif." Pat gave Sid a puzzled look. Roger explained that the use of condoms would contaminate the sample, "You will need to wank," he said. Sarah squeezed my hand, Pat still looked puzzled. "Ave you any questions?" J-P asked. "Bring the samples to Roger at the reception for fifteen hours. He will take them to me, including his own." This was my first inkling that Roger was a guinea-pig as well as the trip organiser. "OK, that's it for now, meet me in the reception area just before three with your bottles. Make sure you fill in all the details on the labels. If anyone doesn't know his blood group we can sort that out later. Thank you, Jean-Pierre, we will all see you at dinner, with your wife." "Merci, bien. The English of my wife is not so good but this young lady can `elp `er," he said, pointing to Sarah. I have always wondered why the French find it so difficult to master the English pronunciation of `aitch'! "D'accors, ma plaisir," Sarah said, "Au revoir, a bientot." With that we all retired to the hotel bar for our pre-lunch aperitifs, followed by a splendid hot and cold buffet lunch in the hotel dining room, with a sumptuous selection of desserts to follow. After coffee and mints the party broke up; the men had work to do! As we entered our suite, Sarah and I simultaneously said "I assume it's time to test the bed!" I quickly went to the marble bathroom, relieved my bladder and cleaned my teeth, returned to the bedroom, stripped naked, threw back the covers and jumped into the huge bed. "There's room for four in here," I said as Sarah undressed and thoughtfully placed my specimen bottle within reach on the bedside table. She obviously thought we wouldn't need the DVDs I had left in the lounge! "Two's enough, in fact you could do what you have to do without me!" "But we can do it so much better together," I replied and with that she joined me in bed. She rolled onto me, her boobs pressed hard into my chest, her tongue buried in my mouth. I rolled from under her, then mounted her from behind, my prick beginning to anticipate its release from three days of enforced abstinence. I rolled onto my back, her body on top of mine, then rolled her off to lie beside me, her boobs pointing skywards, my cock rising to the occasion. After a few moments of rest, I felt her tugging at my prick. I didn't move, the tugging turned to a slow stroking action, the hand grasped around my member was moving from the root to the tip of my now fully engorged cock. I lay there for several minutes as the stroking continued along the whole seven inches, its glans now fully exposed. I moved my hand towards Sarah's pubes, slid one finger, then two between her spread eagled legs and then into her moist lips and found her clitoris. We paused for a moment; our lips came together in a brief but passionate kiss. As we broke apart, I said, "Carry on, you were doing absolutely fine." Her hand returned to my cock. I made sure the bottle was open and within reach before my fingers returned to her tunnel of love. As my balls tightened, I began thrusting upwards with my hips, in unison with Sarah's stroking. At the same time, my hand was soaked with her love juice and I felt my climax becoming inevitable. As my other hand reached for the bottle, Sarah took the cue to ease her grip a little. I placed its latex covered mouth on the end of my prick and held it there. Sarah continued her massage for a few more moments until I shot six or seven spurts of hot semen right into the bottle. I quickly capped the bottle, rolled over between Sarah's legs and thrust my still hard prick into her dripping cunt. After only three or four tentative strokes, she climaxed with a scream that must have been heard in the adjoining suites. We collapsed in a sweaty heap and lay in each other's arms as my prick softened and fell from her body before we drifted into post-coital relaxation. After a while Sarah said, "So that was our third wank together! I was so randy, it must be the very thought of those millions of little wrigglers you squirt out. Let me see it." I passed the bottle to her, "Spunk, just like you shot into me to make our baby," she said. "And into Alison to make hers." "It was what she and Rob wanted, I have no problems with what you did, nor should you have. Nor will I worry if should do it again and again if that is what they want. Remember, what you are doing this weekend may eventually help millions of men around the world and their wives." Sarah was becoming very philosophical; I lightened the note, "I certainly couldn't cope with millions of women single handed!" I got a slap across my thighs before she climbed on to me and we lay belly to belly, chest to chest, mouth to mouth, my legs between hers for some minutes, drifting towards sleep. "It's half past two," Sarah said suddenly, "we need a shower before three." With that she rolled off me, we both rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom together, naked as the good Lord intended! I tackled the myriad of controls in the space-age shower enclosure and was surprised to see Sarah sitting on the loo, the first time I had ever been allowed to witness her bodily functions! She soon moved to the bidet and a look of ecstasy came to her face as she adjusted the jet of warm water to cleanse her nether regions, before she joined me in the shower to give my genitals a prolonged and meticulous wash, long enough to get Percy perking again. "No time for that!" she said. It was five to three by the time we were dried and dressed. I grabbed my bottle, checked the label and we went to the reception area to meet Roger. "Last but not least," he said, "no problems were there?" "None at all," I replied, "I had a skilled helper." Sarah gave me a look, but said nothing. Pat looked puzzled; I guessed that Sid's offering was strictly a `do-it-yourself' affair. Derek and Ian tittered when Roger held the bottle up and said "There's plenty there, anyway. Guillaume will take me to the lab and I'll see you for dinner at eight, if not before," he said as he put all the samples into a small box. More or less unanimously, the men decided to go for a swim and the women to give the spa a try. Several of the men fell foul of the peculiar French rules about male swimming attire; only Speedo style costumes ( or budgie smugglers as the Australians call them!) are allowed in swimming pools. The pool attendant fixed up a couple of us with loaned ones. Derek and Ian got away with wearing their brief underwear. All was fine while we were swimming lengths but in the subsequent game of tag, both repeatedly found their attire around their ankles! When we decided to retire to the sauna, I was glad to get my kit out of the `two sizes too small' costume I had been loaned! With only the five of us in the sauna and bearing in mind the nature of the trip, the conversation inevitably turned to sex. It turned out that myself and Derek were the expectant fathers, Roger and Ian had babies, and that Sid and John were still `trying hard'. Inevitably, as men do, the talk turned to size, how big dicks don't necessarily get much bigger and little ones can grow surprisingly big when their owners get excited. Nobody adduced any actual evidence for their wild assertions but all five of us claimed six or seven inches. Only Ian was `cut', apparently due to problems as a teenager; `it was bloody painful when I got a hard on' he said. Derek said that one of his colleagues had a monster dick, `bigger soft than mine is hard' he said; apparently police changing rooms afforded little privacy, or else the guy was a bit of an exhibitionist! In for a penny, in for a pound, I said "How many of you enjoy outdoor sex, given fine weather, of course?" Derek looked at me and hesitatingly admitted that he did, followed by Ian and John. Sid said he would like to try it but that Pat was strictly an "in bed with the lights out type". "We love it, given sufficient privacy, of course, we are not exhibitionists!" I said. "Unlike some in Tocil Woods," Derek added, referring to the woods near where I lived. "But we were nearly caught at it in Packington Woods by a certain policeman not six feet away from me now." Derek looked embarrassed; I don't think that the others knew he was a police officer. "You were pretty safe there, I wouldn't have booked you. We have just thrown the book at a bunch of guys we caught with their pants down at Tocil, though; it's pretty public there with all the footpaths. It is pretty difficult to make a case against a man and a woman doing it out of sight of a public right of way. To be honest, I have had Jane outdoors in all sorts of places, including our back garden. In fact, that is probably where our little `un came to pass, during the hot weather in July, but don't tell her I said so!" "Tocil Woods are virtually on my doorstep," I said. "I often walk to work that way and there are some things hard to miss -- and too hard to miss, on occasion!" John said "My Dad caught me at it with one of the farm worker's daughters in a barn on the farm when I was only fifteen. He was NOT happy I can tell you. It was the last ever time I got his belt, but I was grounded for a month. I had Alice in the office at work once; she started that when she came to pick me up after I had been overseas for three weeks. It was just as well it was after hours! We are pretty much shagging to a timetable now, trying get our first bun in the oven, to think of the trouble I went to before we were married to avoid getting her up the spout ..." "How about you, Ian?" Derek asked. "We've tried it a few times but I can't say I am very taken with outdoor sex. Anywhere round the house mind you, that's different! The most unlikely place must have been in the loft. It was the summer we moved in. I was sweating my bollocks off up there lagging some pipes ready for winter. Ruth brought me a cold drink up and found me stripped off to my shoes and socks; that was it. Me standing up with her legs around my waist, wow ...! We've done it that way quite often since, the loft position we call it." Sid was looking embarrassed, "I've been missing out here, I can see. Pat won't even stick to our timetable if we are away from home, `somebody might hear us', she can be a bit noisy, I'll admit." Derek and John had been `adjusting themselves' during this conversation and I must admit that my Percy was getting a bit playful. "Time for a cooling shower, I think," I said and tried to conceal my prick as I left the sauna. One by one the others followed before each of us went back to the steam room, switching between the two for another session several times, eventually all ending up in the steam room together. "What do you think will happen in the morning?" Sid asked nervously. "I should imagine it will be a complete once-over of our kit, finger up the bum and all that," I said, "much like we had from initially -- in my case from Clare." "Oh, my God! I couldn't have a woman doing that; I'd probably dump a load or something." "Don't worry, Sid, they've seen everything before," Derek said, "Did you mean a load of shit or spunk?" "Probably both!" "Roger's briefing notes mentioned a questionnaire to fill in before the examination, a full sexual history with multiple choice answers on one side of A4," I said. "I am beginning to wish I had never joined," Sid said. "I have no idea what Pat will say about it." "She's not the one having a finger up her ass; so don't worry about it, Sid." Derek was trying without obvious success to calm Sid down a bit. "She never gets a finger up anywhere else if she can avoid it either. It s usually just a quick cuddle, I fiddle about for a while, she plays with my dick a bit to get it hard, then tells me when to stuff it in, jerk about a bit, shoot my load, pull it out and go to sleep." "Really, Sid, you shouldn't worry," I said, not really believing it. "You'll be fine. By the time Roger has finished with you, Pat will be pregnant in no time." The girls had sent the pool attendant in "I am Jaques. Your women is wondering where you `ave gone," he said. "It is time to get the dinner dress." We took that as a cue to get showered and dressed, I told him to say we would be out in ten minutes. A couple of minutes later, he came back, and finding five naked Englishmen in the showers, he was stroking his crotch as he said "The womans `ave going to the chambers. I am liking very much to see the English bollocks and pricks." There was a noticeable bulge in his trousers. Derek said, "Show us your French prick then." "Non, non, it is not good, trop petite." "Tu regarde cinq pénis anglais et nos boules, nous voulons voir le vôtre," I said and stepped towards him, my hands reaching for his waistband. He stepped back and as he pulled his zip down, his prick sprang out, six inches I guessed. The other four applauded, Sid somewhat weakly. The attendant dropped his trousers, revealing a lack of underwear and low slung balls below his shaven pubes. He was a roundhead, going commando. "Six pouces, quinze centimètres, commando allant, aucuns cheveux et circonci aussi. Avez-vous amie ou est-ce qu'ami, je me demande?" "J'ai ami, je suis gai." "Nous sommes des hommes du monde, celui n'est pas de problem!" I reached for his outstretched prick, shook hands with it and let it go, as did all the others in turn, Sid was clearly rising to the occasion. Jaques took the cue and `shook hands' with Sid. "Jacques, ne s'inquiètent pas, nous sommes ici pour voir, nous sommes ici entendre, nous sommes ici pour jouer. Nous ne dirons rien, particulièrement au sujet de ce que nous ne comprenons pas" I said. "Merci monsieur. C'est juste jeu entre les amis, je ne suis pas offensé ou ne suis pas inquiété. Appréciez votre sejour avec nous!" Jaques replied. The others were clearly becoming envious of my French, poor as it was, so I gave them a quick précis of my exchanges with Jaques. When he had gone and we were all getting dressed, Sid said "You have probably guessed by now that I am pretty ambivalent about sex. I can take it or leave it, with a man or woman. In reality I feel more comfortable with men, there seems to be less commitment, not that I have had a lot of experience. Pat feels pretty much the same way, she is more at home with a woman, but we do so desperately want children, our own children, even if we are no good at the mechanics of sex. We have never been able to talk, even to our best friends about it." He was clearly so relieved to be able to tell someone, indeed all of us, about their predicament and we were so taken aback at the manner of his outing, that no-one spoke for what seemed like hours. Finally Derek spoke, "Sid, first of all, I am sure I speak for us all when I say that we may not understand your feelings nor have experienced them but I am sure they are sincere. Roger has said several times that he is `off-duty' this weekend, like I never am. Take the opportunity to talk to him frankly about your feelings. Nick told Jaques that we were here to see and to hear but not to tell and we may not understand. As a doctor it is Roger's duty, as a police officer, it is mine, to observe, listen and try to understand. Talk to him, he will understand and he will do his level best for you, I am sure of that." "Sid," I said, "Derek has expressed my views exactly. Roger is a kind understanding man; we are all men of the world, we accept others for what they are. Enjoy your evening, talk to Roger tomorrow, I am pretty sure the interview will bring out your feelings anyway, and let him help both of you." John and Ian were taken aback by all this, but both told Sid that it was good that he had been able to talk to us. "You managed to talk to us a strangers about your problems; think of us now as your friends. As Nick said, we will listen even if we do not understand," Ian said. "A problem shared, is a problem halved, in this case divided by five," John said. You should feel free to talk to me about it anytime." "Me too," we all said simultaneously. Sid was close to tears, but shook our hands warmly as he struggled to find the words to thank us. "To the bar!" Derek said. The drinks are on me, or at least on my expense form!