From: sound Newsgroups: alt.sex.masturbation Subject: Masturbation testimony, or something like that. This is a long one. :) Date: Sun, 07 Jul 1996 02:44:12 -0700 Organization: Earthlink Network, Inc. Hello there, my name is, hmmmm, lets leave that anonymous, you can call me Sound. And of course not, nothing@nothing.nothing is not my email address, you can try sending to it if you like. But who know's what kinda people might be able to find out about me if I gave my email address. It's possible I guess. :) Lets start out in the beginning. I was born 23 years ago. OK, enuff of that, lets jump up 11 years. When I was 11, that is when I remember my first real hard on because of looking at a girls' body. Just like almost all other kids, it happened at the recreation center pool. I was just swimming allong and watched my neighbor walk by. She was something like in her twenties probably. Wearing a bikini, and I could just barely see a couple bristles of black hair poking out of her bikini botoms at her crotch. Of course I was at the perfect angle, I was looking up from in the water, so her breasts poked out like two Mt. Everests it seemed to me. I just fell in love on the spot w/ the female body. I don't even remember what her face looked like, all I loved was the body. Anyways, there I was holding onto the drain gutter that surrounded the inner edge all around the pool up against the wall of the pool, and I felt a little tightening of my dick. I had hard-ons before, but they weren't really much, just a little hardness and then plop, nothing more. But this time it had sprouted and was staying stiff. I didn't know what to do, so I just scanned the pool, saw no one really looking at me, and I just reached down into my trunks and started jerking off on the spot, looking back up at the neighbor. I think she looked down and that's what made her start walking further allong down the pool, I don't know, cause I was just staring at her crotch. As she walked away I watched for a little bit as her bikini bottoms wrinkled just a little bit up her ass crack. Then all of a sudden that wonderful feeling I know today as an orgasm came and went. Well, I guess it wasn't quite as strong a feeling, I don't even remember any sperm or anything spurting out, so I guess it was just an early sexual experience. Anyways, that was the day, I changed. I now knew that a womans' body was the best thing made for man. And ever since then the female body has been my temple of worship. Ok, that was the start. The next couple years didn't stand out too much to me, they just went by. But when I was 14, I remember my first real orgasm with some semen and sperm to have to do something with. Right after I turned 14, I started looking at the closest woman, well girl body, to me: my sisters'. I never really thought about my sister as one of my adored female bodies of worship, but she was just starting to mature, and I started seeing her in a new light. She was almost 2 years younger than me, so she was allready 12. I was at home, trying to do some math homework. I heard my sister come up the stairs to go to her room, and as she walked by my door, I called out to her. "Hey, sis!" "What, hurry up I want to watch TV." She walked into my room, and she had just a plain blue shirt, and red shorts on. Nothing spectacular, but it somehow had an effect on my dick. It might have just been because I was laying on my stomach on my bed so it was pushed down on the bed, but when she walked in I started getting hard. I couldn't believe this, and I kinda was stumped. This is my sister, this is my penis, it's getting hard after she appeared, hmmmmm what does this mean? I like her? no, she's my sister. She's sexy? Well yeah, but just a girl starting to mature. I couldn't figure it out just then, it took me lots of years just to come up with an adequate sort of explanation, but back to the room. My dick was getting hard, but I was laying on my stomach so it didn't matter, so I went ahead and asked her; "I don't understand what they want to know for this question. You proabably don't know, but since you're here, do you want to see if you do know?" "Yeah, suuuuurree, I'm 2 years younger than you and you expect me to know math from your grade? I'll look, but I won't understand any of it." She walked to the bed, and I started getting scared that I'd have to move and get up. But I didn't end up having to, luckily. Cause when she got near the bed I handed her my mathbook, and looked up from my bed. I didn't see anything, but I could see up a little bit under her shorts. It was intoxicating seeing some parts of her legs up high, and even though I couldn't see any panty, the imagination was enuff. My dick was as hard as it could be, and almost was hurting from laying on it now. She just dropped the book back down, and said "I have no idea. Ask mom or dad." And then she walked out of the room. I turned over right then and pulled the front of my pants down and jerked off. After a couple minutes, I tensed and shot a couple spurts of sperm onto my shirt. I got up and took the shirt off and then heard my sister say "Mom is downstairs and calling for you." I just went numb, all I could think off is that my dick was just sticking out there in plain view of my sister. But as I looked down I was happy to see I had pulled my pant front up after I had the orgasm. After thinking about it now, though, I've fantasized about many different events which could've happened at that time, but nothing else happened. She told me about mom calling, and then left. I just crumpled up the shirt and put it in the dirty clothes pile and then went and asked my mom about the homework problem. And that was the start of my masturbation career. For the next 5 or 6 years I think I masturbated atleast once a day, and on a few I would try to set records on how many times I could do it in one day and I'd allways try to beat my last record. It seems like the masturbation has gotten better with every day. And practically every time, my sister was in my mind receiving pleasure from it. At times I felt guilty that I wasn't going out on dates and stuff, and just masturbating away thinking about my sister. Of course I did think about the Playboy models, and Sports Illustrated women, and movie stars, but my sister was allways on my mind. At school, my friends would talk about their girlfriends and what they have been doing, but I just tried to not have to tell anything. So I just continued on my masturbation schedule, and just tried to fit in with my friends. And it never became a problem. Girls at school were mad at me cause I never asked any out on dates, and when they asked me out, I ussually just came up with an excuse and talked my way out of having to go out with anyone. I figured, I can make myself happy with my own hand, why worry about having to talk and say the right stuff to someone else, and worry about them too. I was happy, they were mad because I didn't do anything with them, but they'd just move on and be someonelses girlfriend anyways. I usually slept in the nude once I turned 17 or so, cause it felt better than wearing something to bed, and it made it easier to play with my dick. What made it crazily fun for me was I started to do it so much, I started doing it just to see if I could masturbate and keep from getting caught. Many times, I'd have my sister almost catch me, cause she seemed to not talk until she could see the person she was talking to. I'm not sure if she ever caught me jerkin away, I've never asked. My parents always called out before they ever reached any visual range, so I know they never caught me. What started to be even more fun, was when I started trying to let my sister catch views of me. I'm not even sure if she's seen anything. When I heard that she was coming down the stairs in the morning, to wake me up, or use my computer or watch my TV or something, I would act like I was asleep, and ruffle the sheets over me a bit to try to barely reveal my dick. Sometimes it was hard, and laying back on my stomach or to the side, but usually it was just not quite hard so it would be swayed to a side. But I would move the sheets just a little to maybe have it in sight. I would just lay there fantasizing about her seeing it, and just grabing it and sucking away, or striping and jumping on the bed without warning. I would just lay there with my eyes just barely shut, hoping she'd see something and like it. Nothing has ever happened, and I don't know if she ever has seen it. I guess I need to make it a little more viewable. But after she'd leave the room, I knew it was an instant jerk off and away I would go pounding. I'm starting to wonder what the fuck is wrong with me now, cause now all I can do is get pictures off of newsgroups, and WWW pages, or buy CD's, and buy some XXX movies. And all I do is pound away, eventually having to clean-up the jism I spurt out. I feel real guilty because I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I'm jerking off and not having sex. (ohh, now I'm 23 years old and still a virgin). or what. But, I sure like masturbating. I love getting my dick hard and trying to keep it hard for as long as I can. I still do it almost once daily. And sometimes I like going a couple days without doing it, because it makes the next time unbelievably better. What drives me crazy is everyone I know around me, wonders why I have no girlfriend and don't do more things socially. I have no good explanation, but I have my personal reasons set in my mind. I don't really like talking to people. I like being alone. If I had a girlfriend, I'd have to worry about her, her feelings, everything is just too hard once you bring in another person into the picture. I like it alone. Now I do have a feeling that if I ever do insert my dick into an actual woman, my mind will probably change and I'll be mad I havn't been having sex w/ a woman all this time. But, I don't mind it right now. I look at all the problems with relationships in the world and just think, well, my hand isn't a pain to get allong with at all, and it doesn't talk back to me, or require money, or entertainment. Whenever I want sex, I just find a good spot, and jerk away, and it doesn't care what I look like, or what I say to it. So, anyone out there think I'm a prime candidate for a psychiatrist? Yep, probably. :) If you're reading this all the way down here at the bottom, wow, I'm impressed. You may even be like me, nothing better to do? hmm? That's amazing you read all the way down to here. Well, congratulations on wasting however long it took you to read to this far. Just sit back and laugh at me, cause I spent probably 20 times as much time writing it. Can you believe that? nahh, me neither, but who cares. I have nothing else I want to do, so I typed away. Anyways, I guess thanks for reading. Hope you're entertained by it somehow.