Authors note: Hello everybody! Well Its been a while since I have posted anything, much less something as ambitious as I hope Failure of the Heart will turn out. I am planning on a multi chapter story starting from, as you will find below the end. My goal is through subsequent chapters to bring the story full circle to the beginning.
I must give sincere thanks to a few people. First to Jesse and SnowTiger, Thanx for reading through the rough copies and letting me know my project wasn't too ambitious. Sara for encouraging me even though it might further derail any progress on Destiny of Time. Lastly and always most importantly, my dear Watch. Thank you for yet again editing another one of my crummy stories.
Disclaimer: The following story is a work of pure fiction. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is pure coincidence. The story may graphic sexual situations including M/M M/F M/M/F if you are not old enough to legally view such content in your area or if you find it questionable please read no further.
All work contained here in remains the sole property of the author Blackheart and may not be reproduced physically or electronically with the exception of private personal use with out express written consent of the author.
Failure of the Heart
Written by Blackheart
Final Edit by Watch
Why do they say you can never look back? At this point in my life all I do is reflect on the past, the loves found and subsequently lost. I know it's not the greatest thing to do, but when the constant beep of monitors are your companions in the night, there really isn't much else to look forward to.
No I'm not looking for your sympathy, I just want to share my lessons in life with you. Hopefully you'll learn from the pain I've fought and will not have to face it yourself.
So where do I begin? In the twilight of my life, as you see me now. The shell of a man ravaged by the passing time that remains, his last days, in a sterile hospital room. The regular visits of my loving wife ease the pain as always.
Valerie is truly a blessing, my angel who supports me through thick and thin. Her crisp violet eyes have a way of seeing past the ole male facade of conviction. A suit of armor I have always donned when hurt.
I've known her my whole life. Our fathers were drinking buddies and the two families were together every weekend and holidays. She was my best friend all through grade school and high school. So it was inevitable that we would wed.
That however brought some concern from our folks. While they always considered us `together' we didn't marry until we were 26. I know that's still reasonably young but coming from families where the wives were barefoot and pregnant by their own 18th birthdays, marriage at that late a date was frowned upon.
But this story isn't really about the rock in my life. I've sung her praises many times, our four children can attest to that. It's a story about the other love of my life. As Valerie was the rock he was the Ocean that slapped against her.
He was, in a word, fiery. So many people just go through the motions in their lives. He broke rules and explored every corner of his existence. As so often happens with this type of person he lived so much his flame was snuffed prematurely.
I still vividly remember the car ride that day as the summer sun gave a last hurrah before sinking into the horizon. Val drove quietly, but my mind was consumed by thoughts racing through my head at the speed of light as we rounded that blind curve shrouded in long shadows caused by the hills along the serpentine canyon road. Red and blue flashing lights, the magenta fire of road flares, -- all of it is etched permanently in my memory.
I had spent the bulk of the ride in stone silence. Val had made a few pathetic attempts to speak to me, but the shock of it all had drained all emotion from my body. That was until I saw the tow truck heaving his Yamaha, or rather, what was left of it, up into the air. The side that was visible had been scraped and mangled by the asphalt.
All that I had been through in my life had not prepared me for that moment. We were young, fearless and seemingly immortal. Now I knew better. The promise of forever was erased in a blind curve.
My facade of stoic resolve buckled immediately as my trembling hand reached for the door. I felt the tears flowing down my cheek as my eyes let loose tears of agony. I knew the outcome from the condition of his bike even before I saw the rubberized shroud that was being pushed into the back of the ambulance.
"Matthew..." she was calling out to me. Even though Val was less then two feet away her voice sounded distant. Struggling through the fog of my mind.
"Matt baby; don't, there's nothing you could do," she spoke with her eyes more then anything else. They were full of sorrow and the needed strength.
I heeded her advice as my hand slowly pulled back from the door.
I don't remember much about the following week that led up to his funeral. I hardly ate, didn't shower or sleep so well. Through it all Val maintained her vigil of care and compassion.
The day of the funeral was horrible; it didn't fit my mood at all. The sun was shining brightly, birds were singing, all around were a mass of grieving people. Those who could, stared numbly at the flower-laden, steel gray casket.
The preacher spoke of his vivacious appetite for life and Val rubbed my shoulder endlessly as I once again broke down sobbing
On top of the casket surrounded by a spray of flowers was propped a recent picture, only in existence for a few short weeks. Its occupants smiling happily, arms draped over each other, each clothed in royal blue gowns. Their caps pushed back on haphazardly, leaving the tassels to fall where they would.
None of them knew that part of their whole would soon be gone forever.
"Congratulations!" Jacob's mom nearly screamed over the voices of the three celebrating teens. "Now gather round and let me get a picture"
I genuinely admired Ms. Keats, raising Jacob by herself. The man that would have been his father never really stuck around after he passed on his lineage.
It was that reason she never really fit in with Val's folks and mine. But Val and I considered her the third mother we always wanted.
The shutter on the camera clicked lightly, freezing the moment in time. The atmosphere was joyous as Val leaned in and gave Jacob a kiss on side of his perpetually rounded baby face. Matt was not one to be left out so he too followed suit and gave Jacob a quick peck on the cheek. The simple act of youthful foolishness brought a hearty laugh from Ms. Keats and the two sets of parents that had joined them.
"Do it again!" She giddily screamed as she raised the viewfinder to her eye. "I didn't get it"
The three were only too happy to oblige as another set of cameras had joined the ready. This time Jacob added a look of ecstasy as the lips collided with both sides of his face. His hands moved across the sets of shoulders in mock erotic display, recreating similar scenes that took place in a much more private setting.
He ended the charade with a grin, the one that said come here and play dirty with me. It was the exact grin that tangled both Val and Matt in its warmth on two separate occasions, the smile that made Jacob so attractive to everyone. It was what made him popular, for the most part. He had the body for sports but lacked the discipline to participate.
The parents once again enjoyed a good laugh as cameras were settled back to rest against chests. Ms. Keats rushed forward and hugged each one of them in turn, paying extra attention to Jacob.
"I'm so proud Jacob," she said after a light peck on his cheek. "You guys go on and have fun tonight you've earned it. All of you," her eyes turned to Val and Matt. "Be good hun." She added placing a quick kiss on his cheek causing him to flush as if he had physically exerted himself.
Ms. Keats took one last pride-filled look at her son and his friends before walking across the open lawn where the graduation ceremony had been held. Matt and Valerie's parents Congratulations them once again before they joined Jacobs' mom.
"So we're skipping out on grad-nite, right?" Val asked as she smiled and waved good-bye to the fleeing parents.
"Oh definitely" Jacob confirmed as he flashed his sultry grin aided by a mischievous twinkle in his bright, hazel eyes
"Good" Matt added, "I'd rather spend the night with just the two of you rather then our entire class."
"Oh come off it Matty. You know you'd be happy squished between Val's or my legs on any of those rides," Jacob retorted as he threw his arm once again over Matt's shoulders.
Matt could only shrug his defeat as Valerie chuckled softly. At that moment Jay Henderson ran up to the trio. His stature was impressive. He stood tall with broad shoulders; a build that three years as a varsity line backer had given him.
"Hey Valerie," He said in his unnaturally deep, steroid-induced voice. His attempt at giving her sexy approving look was lost on the three friends.
"Hello Jay," she answered coldly.
"Hey Henderson," Jacob spoke up, sensing Valerie's discomfort.
"Oh Bastard! I didn't see you there." He said in an annoyed, menacing voice as he turned his attention to the people he would prefer were invisible.
"Blow me bitch."
"Ha, I'd much rather bend your punk ass over and show you what a real bitch does!"
Jacob took a step toward Jay before Matt caught his arm. His eyes were narrowed and his cheeks once again flushed, this time it was a product of his building rage. Jacob, Valerie and Matt weren't ignorant to the rumors of their supposed relationship. True or not, it wasn't any of Jay Henderson's business to comment on.
"I've knocked that simple look off your face before asswipe, don't make me do it again," Jacob shouted as he tried to wrench his arm free of Matt's grasp.
"Aww c'mon baby, you know you'd love it!" Jay said laughing as he groped himself obscenely. "Valerie give me a call," he continued, composing himself as much he could.
Val answered him in the only way she knew that would piss him off. She strode the few paces to where Jacob was standing, breathing heavily. She looked squarely at Jay before turning and kissing Jacob with all the passion she could muster.
Her lips worked wonders as his tense body melted into hers, hands roaming where they would across each other's flesh. She broke the kiss after a few heated moments and turned back towards Jay giving him a devious smile.
His smart mouth failed him in that moment. At a loss he turned and stalked away, his confidant strut diminished with his defeat. Jacob was oblivious to Jay's departure. His eyes were still closed and his lips pursed as if expecting the return of Valerie's own lips.
"Let's get out of here," she laughed as she ruffled Jacobs' hair and took Matts' hand in her own.
Jacob opened his eyes lazily and a goofy smile grew on his face rounding his cheeks slightly.
"Only If I can drive," he added receiving a hearty laugh from Matt and Val.
The three friends took off across the campus. Shouting their joys at being released from the prison-like regime of the public school system. Saying farewell to favorite teachers and mentors they passed along the way. Their refuge was the litter-strewn mall, a large open grassy space peppered with a few aspen trees. On days prior it would have been filled with students. Their book bags propped on one side, lunches on the other, while textbooks lay spread open before them. A group of stoners would hang in the far corner kicking a hackie-sack between them, while the jocks squatted right in front of the cafeteria where they were assured everyone's full attention. All this while wearing Lettermen jackets no matter the temperature.
Today, this same center field was empty; it had the feel of a ghost town. The wind carried the buzz of the previous year only as an echo. Discarded commencement programs littered the clumped grass mingling with spent streamers and confetti.
There were a few groups of students remaining in secluded pockets along the route to the student parking lot. The trio shared hugs and hand shakes with acquaintances but their trek to the midnight blue 1967 Ford Mustang convertible that waited impatiently in the lot was undeterred.
A tangled mass of metal and plastic flew threw the air and cradled neatly in Jacobs waiting palms. He groaned as he searched through the clump. Looking for the one key out of the three on there to start the vehicle. Valerie laughed at his search through the knot of key chains as she climbed in the passenger side.
In a fluid motion the lithe girl reached over and grabbed the tangle from Jacobs hand. A quick flick of her wrist presented the correct key and she slid it into the ignition, giggling all the while.
"I swear that's an anti-theft device," Matt commented as he hopped over the rear fender and slid into the rear seat. "She doesn't ever have to worry about losing her keys. If anyone finds them the stallion key won't show up anyway."
"Tell me about it," Jacob said as he climbed in the driver's seat where he groaned. His hand hovered a few inches above the shifter. His eyes locked on a fuzzy deep red hair scrunchie that encircled the metal rod.
His eyes rolled slowly over to where Val was sitting trying her damndest to contain the laughter building in her chest.
"Mascara isn't going to be rolling around as I drive is it?" He inquired.
Valerie resisted the laughter just long enough to give him an answer.
"Don't be silly; it's in the glove box with my spare bra and panties."
Val and Matt both erupted in laughter as Jacob just shook his head indignantly. His wrist flicked the ignition and the classic thundered into life as his foot revved the accelerator menacingly. The tires squealed as the car roared out of the parking lot and onto the open roads. His actions garnished angry honks from other drivers. It wasn't his concern, this horse was designed to run wild and free, who was he to deny such ambitions.
Valerie reached for the scrunchie that straddled the shifter, using it to contain the wild fury of her hair against the wind racing over the windshield as Jacob made his way to his favorite stretch. Reche Canyon road was four miles of snaking pot-holed asphalt that led to the old Reche granite quarry. The old rock pit was the trio's secluded haven. Its inviting crystal waters were hard to deny on almost any California day.
The three of them listened to the local rock station and enjoyed idle chat as the mustang raced through the straight-away's and hugged the more frequent corners. Jacob dropped the speed a little as the pony left the pavement in its wake.
The narrow dirt trail was littered with rusted; sun-bleached shotgun shells and old pull-tab Budweiser cans among other various decaying relics of its past use. The car's engine purred to a stop.
"Jacob," Val said as she opened the door. "There's a six-pack in the trunk, but I'm driving back." She said pulling up the bag at her feet and pulling out a large, terry blanket.
"Gotcha!" he said hopping from the seat and rounding the rear of the car.
He moved so quickly that you could barely separate the click of the trunk and the snap of the pop-top on the can of beer. The trunk closed with a thud and he walked round the side of the car carrying the small ice chest.
"Matt you want?" he questioned holding up his already half-consumed can of Bud Light.
"Sure" Matt barely had time to answer before the can landed in his lap.
Jacob had his can finished and was stripping off his clothes before Matt had even taken his first gulp of the bitter, refreshing liquid. Jeans, socks, boxers, all quickly landed in a heap next to the rear passenger tire.
"C'mon bro, you're lagging," Jacob said lightly slapping Matt on the shoulder. "Shag that ass out of those drawers boy."
With that Jacob turned on his heel and ran off down the short beach and jumped full on into the water. Leaving the all too familiar image of his ass and toned back on Valerie and Matt's minds.
"Tell me Val, Are we crazy?" Matt asked as he slowly slipped out of his jeans.
Valerie chuckled. If crazy was being in love with two people who had no reason loving you, she enjoyed every moment of it. She had expressed this a million times before to Matt it just never seemed to sink in.
"No," She said as she pulled her bra out from underneath her shirt and snatched up her bikini top. "He's infectious and perfect. Just be glad he shares what you feel for him. I am."
Matt shrugged his shoulders and peered out into the water just in time to see Jacobs upper body rocket above the clear surface. Matt's eyes were fixed on Jacob as he shook his head and slicked back the wet hair. His breath caught in his chest as the water cascaded down Jacob's toned frame.
Valerie knew the look, the way he stared off as his breath swelled his chest. She could read her boys like a book whether they liked that fact or not.
"Go on, Ill be down in a few moments," she said
Matt gave her a look of apprehension, still not comfortable with his attraction to Jacob, even though they had acted on it in the past several times. Val leaned in and lightly kissed him on the lips attempting to wash the worry away.
"Oh Matty, he's only gonna holler for ya in a few seconds." She ruffled his hair and stood shucking her shirt and revealing her bikini-clad breasts.
Matt discarded the last remnants of his clothes dumping the pile on top of Jacob's and set off in running jump off a nearby bluff. For a second he was weightless, the sky around him his only support as he descended to the crisp water below. He could hear Jacob beyond him shouting his approval, Val screaming with glee in the distance.
Then all went silent save for the muffled sound of air rushing back to the surface in a tornado of bubbles. The water felt great against his skin, running freely in torrents around and under his thighs. He breached the surface, his lungs replacing the vacuum his fall had caused.
As he broke the surface a pair of arms wrapped their way around his chest. Warm lips pressed against the side of his neck, slowly moving their way up to his ear lobe.
"Hey babe," Jacob whispered as he grazed his lips over the skin of Matt's ears. "What took you so long? Where's sweets?"
Matt smiled as he pushed himself back in the water, his body demanding full contact. He twisted himself around in Jacob's supportive grasp and lightly kissed him on the lips.
"She's coming, I had this crazy Idea of making you wait in anticipation," Matt looked down at the space between them.
The contrast of the black granite and flesh in the crystal clear water left nothing to the imagination. It only added visual distortion, as Jacobs' hard-on only seemed to pulse in the fluid motion of the water.
"MMmmm, looks like it worked."
Jacobs cheeks reddened and the sides of his lips curled upward.
"Yeah, s'pose so," He looked downward at the apex of Matt's legs. "But he's got a friend."
"Oh" Matt said in mock surprise.
"Yup, they messed `round a bit, so's they pretty close"
"Really? Do I know this friend?"
"I sure hope you do, if not everything I've been teachin' ya is worthless" He pulled back a bit and looked at Matt while his hand snaked through the water and encircled his growing erection.
Matt gave a little start as the warm hand squeezed out the cool water surrounding his dick.
"This," Jacob said squeezing a little harder, "is his friend"
Matt laughed and pulled Jacob closer to him.
"Tell me you'll love me for the rest of my life babe, promise me." Jacob whispered into his ear.
"I-I can't" Matt stuttered
Jacob pushed back from Matt. His eyes searching the face before him for some hint of a lie, a lie he couldn't find. His eyes narrowed as he fought against the constriction around his heart.
"Why Matty?" he croaked.
"I can't promise to love you the rest of your life hun, I can only promise the rest of mine"
"Oh you prick!" Jacob shouted.
Matt laughed heartily.
"Face it, hun, that's the reason you love me!"
"C'mere!" Jacob shouted rushing through the water towards him. "I'll show ya why I love ya!"
Jacob tackled Matt and began to lightly rough-house with him. Their bodies twisted in the water as they rolled over one another, limbs flew in all directions followed closely by sprays of water. Each in turn stealing a fistfull of ass or dick. So lost in their games they failed to see Valerie swimming easily up to them.
"Starting without me?" She pouted with a fake frown and puppy dog eyes.
"Sweets!!" Jacob screamed as the two of them descended on her.
Her screams of joy faded to the steady beep of the heart-lung monitor. The bright summer afternoon dissolved into a cool sterile room with a view looking out over a dark city...