This is a mostly true story of the sexual awakening of a young man -- with the names changed to protect the guilty. It should not be reproduced without the permission of the writer. Comments are welcome at

The Sexual Awakening of Kane

As I look back on a lifetime of sexual adventures, I often wonder what events shaped my sexuality and gave me the appetites I have had for so many years. Firstly, I should describe myself. Some people think I am attractive - I think I'm average but I have always had a good body - a combination of genes and gym! Although I don't believe anyone has to be "gay" or "straight" I must say I have never met a man I felt sexually attracted to as much as I am to women but.....never say never. For some reason, gay or bi men have always seemed to find me very attractive -- probably more so than women. 
When I was about 13 the boy who lived next door and I were pretty good friends. He was about a year older than I but a bit smaller. He had a twin sister. I was always bigger than average for my age. As I'm now just over 6' and the average height for men is about 5'10" I guess I still am. When I was 13 though, I was quite precocious, big for my age and very horny. I'll never forget the first time I came. I was lying in the bath reliving an experience I had had with my female cousin, Wendy, a few years earlier - as I often did. She is two years older than I and we used to sleep together when she stayed over. One night we were playing "tickle one another's back". This was a very pleasant experience where one person would lie on their tummy and count to 500 while the other tickled their back under their pajama top. I have been addicted to the feel of fingertips gently caressing my skin ever since. I did Wendy first and then it was my turn. Instead of just staying on my back, this time she strayed to my bottom, pushing her hand under my pajama pants. Soon I was lying on an aching "stiffy" as we called them in those days. It felt so good that I lost all inhibitions and started tickling her back and bottom at the same time - not easy but possible. Then I couldn't help myself - I figured that she had crossed a certain line so I asked if we could turn over. She didn't answer but rolled over onto her back. I did the same.
I should mention that it was pretty dark and not a word had been spoken except my request to turn over. I was still nervous so I just followed her lead. We had both opened our pajama tops and pushed our pants down around our ankles. At 13, Wendy had started developing breasts and this was a great opportunity to get a feel of them. I noticed that her nipples stuck out a lot after I caressed them and she was breathing funny but, at 11, I wasn't sure what was happening. I did notice that little moans of approval escaped her lips as my touch passed over them so I began to concentrate on them, circling them and even pulling on them gently. As she was on my left, I was turned slightly towards her and stroking her chest and tummy with my right hand. Her fingertips on my chest felt divine but I was hoping she would go lower. When her hand began to get lower on my tummy, I lay back and used my left hand to touch her from the belly button down. I remember worrying for a moment if my cock was normal. I had seen one of my friends' stiffy a few moths earlier and it still looked like a little boy's. Mine had grown in length and thickness and curved upwards towards my belly button whereas his was thin and pale and stuck straight out. I didn't know it then but what I felt was "horny" - and that caused me to just go with the flow - something which has gotten me in to trouble many times since!
I can't describe the pleasure I felt when her fingertips first made contact with my cock. I know it jerked and I heard her muffled giggle. A delicious tingle ran down my cock though my balls and spread though my abdomen. She continued on over my cock and down to my balls. I parted my legs and then her hand wandered up again to the head of my cock. I was in paradise as fingertips continued to lightly caress me from cock head to perineum - over and over. At the same time I had followed her lead and let my fingers wander down over her sparsely haired mound to the top of her lips. I hesitated there as I had no idea what to do next. Wendy tilted her pelvis slightly, indicating that I should go further. My middle finger then went straight downwards along her crease as my other fingers grazed her hairless lips. I went as low as I could reach and then came back up making my touch as light and slow as possible to match hers. I had seen between a girl's legs before but this was my first real touch. I was enthralled -- especially with her reactions. After a few strokes I noticed that her hips were moving in time with my touch and she seemed to be trying to increase the pressure of my fingers on her. Her breathing had become even louder and a bit ragged. I thought she must be sweating as my fingers started to get slightly wet from something of a thicker consistency than pee and her lips seemed to have become swollen. I had no idea that Wendy was getting very turned on.
Eventually, despite the pleasure I was feeling and the fascinating experience of touching a "front-bottom" for the first time, I dozed off. I was awoken briefly a short time later by Wendy's stifled moans and jerking around on the bed. She was holding my hand -- which had gone limp when I fell asleep -- and pushing it hard against the top of her slit. It wasn't until years later I realized that she had used my hand to masturbate after I fell asleep. After her shaking eventually subsided she pushed my hand away, pulled her pajamas together and turned on her side away from me. We never repeated the event and never spoke about it.
So, almost every time I had a bath after that night, I tried to relive it and recreate the feeling of Wendy's fingertips on my cock and balls. I would lie in the bath with my cock just below the surface of the water and pass the face washer gently over it. The floating motion of the washer would create a similar lightness of touch as her fingers. One night almost two years later, the feeling became more and more intense. I started holding the washer at both ends and increased the friction as it felt better and better. My cock wasn't just tingling any more - the pleasure was quite intense. My hips started thrusting up out of the water to increase the friction even more. Suddenly, the pleasure became almost unbearably intense and, without knowing what was happening, I was cumming. Great spurts of whitish liquid came squirting out of my cock and landed on my chest. Once the wonderful spasms of pleasure died down I was mortified. What on earth had happened? What was all that stuff? Would mum find out? What about the water with all that "stuff" floating in it? Then I calmed down as I remembered the rudimentary information in the "birds and bees" book my mother had given me to read. I was on my way to a life of sexual debauchery! 
Every time I had a bath after that night - which was every night - I repeated that experience. After a while I gave up on the washer and used a soapy hand. Then I discovered my dad's hidden stash of girly magazines in the shed. I would smuggle them into my room and jerk off whilst imagining myself pleasuring those women. The thing that most turned me on (and still does) more than their good looks or figures, was any indication that they were horny or enjoying some kind of sexual pleasure. 
Well, one day Ray (the boy next door) was in my room when no one was home. I got out the magazines I had smuggled in from the shed and we were looking at them together - kneeling on the floor side by side with the mags on the bed. As usual, my cock was as hard as a rock and I was surreptitiously pushing it into the side of the mattress. Ray must have noticed because he looked at me and spoke. The conversation went something like this.
"Kane - does your dick get hard when you look at these pictures?"
"Er...yes. Why? Does yours."
Long pause.....
"Do you ever touch it?"
I didn't want to reveal my debauchery without knowing if he did.
"Why - do you?"
"Sort of."
"What do you mean 'sort of'?"
"Well do you?"
"Yes - sometimes?"
Ray seemed relieved. "So do I - a lot."
"Me too."
"What do you do?"
By this time I was getting very horny. I was feeling the need to stroke my cock so I thought I would get the conversation over with. If Ray was disgusted he would go home and I could get on with it. 
"I kind of rub it - it feels really good. What about you?"
"Were you rubbing it against the bed just before?"
"Did it feel good?"
We both turned back to the pictures. I noticed that Ray was slowly humping the bed now so I did the same. I saw a girl who looked a bit like his sister.
"Have you ever seen Bronwyn in the nuddy?"
"Not properly since we stopped having baths together last year. But now and then I get a peek."
"Her boobs are getting big."
"Yeah - you should see them now."
"Does she have hair down there?"
"Of course - don't you?"

We turned back to the pictures and the girl who looked like Bronwyn was holding her breasts in both hands. I my mind she was caressing her nipples. My cock ached for my own expert touch.
As I pushed my crotch into the bed I noticed Ray was watching me. His hand was rubbing the bulge in his jeans.
"Do you want to see what I do when I rub my dick? ....and you can show me."


Even at this early point in my life the exhibitionist in me came out. The thought of someone watching me play with my cock sent a twinge right through it.
Ray turned towards me, undid his belt, unzipped his fly and pushed his jeans down to below his knees. His slim cock sprung back up from his undies when he pushed them down. I faced him -- took a deep breath and undid my jeans, pushing them to my knees. He stared at my cock as it also appeared - pointing upward out of the top of my undies and almost twice the size of his. I pushed them down and proudly displayed my erection.
"Jesus - your dick is huge."
"I think they all end up about the same size by the time we stop growing," I said tactfully.
Now we were facing one another about two feet apart.
"What do you do? Mine gets a bit sore if I rub it too much."


"I use this stuff."
I reached under the mattress and took out the tube of moisturizer my mother had been complaining about going missing. I had discovered that one needed lubrication if one was to jerk off twice a day! Reveling in his rapt attention, I smeared some lotion on my hand and took hold of my cock. I stroked it slowly - once up to the head and then down to the base making it stand out boldly.
"Can I have some of that?"
With my other hand I squeezed a generous amount into his outstretched palm. He began to stroke himself. I turned to look at the mag again as Ray did but I could see that out of the corner of his eye he was watching me. Our bodies were still facing one another. I loved it. Ray moved closer to me "to get a better look at the mag". Our cock heads were now only inches apart.
"Do you always go right down to your balls like that?" Rays voice was becoming shaky and he seemed to have moved closer still.
"Until I get near the end - then I concentrate on the knob."
The backs of our fingers touched. Ray was leaning closer. Then the back of his hand grazed my cock -- a bolt of pleasure ran through me like an electric shock. I was amazed how much better it felt to have someone else touch it. I let the back of my hand touch his cock "accidently" too. Soon the accidents became very frequent and I was concentrating on not cumming. Surely it would be too much to spurt all that stuff in front of him. I wondered how I was going to disguise it. Then the pleasure gripped me and I realized that I would love to spurt cum on him.
"Wow - does that feel better to you too?"
"Yep" - I was getting close to cumming so I slowed down. Precum was now oozing freely from my cock. This also embarrassed me at first until I noticed the same drooling from his.
We were no longer pretending to look at the mag. Ray moved closer and our foreheads were touching as we watched our hands stroke. Without saying a word Ray brought his cock into contact with mine. I pushed mine down so that the head touched the head of his. A bolt of electricity went right through me. Soon we were holding our cocks and rubbing the heads together - no pretence now - just striving for more pleasure. I was good but not quite enough contact to get us off.
"Can I hold yours for a second - just to see if it feels like mine?"
"Sure." I thought he'd never ask.
We changed hands. As soon as Ray took hold of my cock I grabbed his. We lasted seconds. The sensations coming from my cock were so intense I lost all sense of my surroundings. I heard Ray cry out and saw his cum spurt all over our hands and bellies. It was amazing that I managed to continue to stroke Ray's erection as I became engrossed in my own pleasure. I felt him push my hand away and apply both his hands to my cock. He bent to get a closer look. I exploded. The first spurt hit him right on the nose - he didn't pull away to avoid the next three. I was sure I saw him lick some from his lips.
As the sensations subsided, I began to feel a bit grossed out. I had let a boy jerk me off - I had jerked him off! Both a little embarrassed, we covered ourselves up quickly and, sensing my discomfort, Ray went home. For the next few months, every week or so, Ray and I would start looking at the mags again. At first, almost pretending that each time was accidental.


Then slowly the relationship changed. Ray was happy to play with my cock and stroke his own with the other. Before long -- by about the fifth time -- he suggested I take all my clothes off and lie on the bed. I could tell he enjoyed looking at and touching my body so I stripped completely and started reading the mags while he just stroked my whole body. I had told him about the episode with Wendy and how good it felt and he strove to recreate that feeling for me. The next time, I noticed a different feeling. After stroking me all over for ages and making my cock rock hard, Ray began sucking me. This was another revelation as the pleasure was even better and the intensity of my orgasm was the best I had ever experienced. He swallowed every drop and seemed to revel in it. I soon realized that Ray preferred boys and that he had a crush on me. He would adore my body for ages doing anything he could to give me pleasure. At first I felt a little selfish, so I would jerk him off while he sucked me even though he said it wasn't necessary. He knew I preferred girls and that the relationship wouldn't last but he was happy to enjoy the time we had together. Then, a few months later I got a girlfriend and everything changed.