A Second Chance
(Copyrighted by the author)
Editor: Radio Rancher
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are
allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
As I awakened, I seemed to be in a daze, as someone was gently shaking me. I
felt something touching my shoulder, forgetting for the moment that I was
floating on air with the sounds of a low roar in my ears. Then, as the flight
attendant was telling me to buckle up, I remembered that we were on final
approach to Paris. Oh, what a beautiful young man; he looked to be in his early
thirties. He was the mirror image of someone that was so dear to me, many years
ago; it was as if time stood still.
'Oh, God,' I profanely prayed, 'how could you be so cruel?' Then again, I reasoned, maybe God was going to give me a second chance. I quickly tried to forget the memories that came flooding back. I thought, 'where, has all that time gone?' I had just turned 65; my silky, golden-blond hair had long since turned to a silver-gray. I was still in excellent shape, however. I stood 6 foot tall, and my eyes were 'deep dark blue,' as Jim called them.
Yes, that's me, Charles James Lambert, CEO of Lambert & Lambert, Inc., and this is my story, as I remember it.
Casper, Wyoming, 1956, I was in high school. In our Junior
year, I fell in love with James. Of course, at the time, he didn't know that I
had fallen in love with him. I was much too scared to even consider approaching
him, or trying to tell him. What a beautiful boy he was. James R. Andersen was
his name. And yes, without his knowing it, I even learned his birthday and where
he was born -- it helps having other friends working in the school office. He,
James, was a real athlete. He was on the swim team, baseball team, and
basketball team. He was so good, he was already being scouted by the University
of Wyoming's basketball and swimming teams. He had every girl in the school
after him. I would have given my life for just a smile from him, but I don't
think he even noticed me.
My family, oh yes, my family; my Dad, Shaun Allen Lambert, was the owner of an investment company, and had done very well for himself and the family. Money was never a problem for me as my Mom, Mary, would give me anything I asked for, within reason. I always had nice clothes and I was an only child. Now, of course, you know, if I needed spending money, all I ever had to do was just ask either of them. I don't think I let that get in the way of being thrifty; of course, that's my opinion; my father wouldn't say that. He told me, "Charles, you should save your money, and invest it. Make your money work for you, not the other way around."
Oh, yes, I am Charles James Lambert, blond haired, blue eyed, a 6 foot tall high school boy. I was always 'Charles' to my parents and other relatives, and 'Chuck' to my close friends, who were very few ... few because I was scared ... scared that someone would discover that I preferred the male, more then the female, form; scared, because being gay, queer, or homo, was not acceptable in the middle of Wyoming in the 1950's.
My Senior year was not much different than my junior year. Both, James and I, were graduating with honors. I did well in academics, and was going on to the University of Wyoming, studying Business Law, and James was given a scholarship for basketball and swimming, and from what I heard, he was majoring in Business Administration.
Of course, I still did not have the guts to approach him; I just knew what his answer would be, and I would rather go through life never knowing, than to get a rejection from him. Only God knows why I waited so long, all those lost years, but that's all water under the bridge, so to speak.
It was in our Senior year at the University of Wyoming (or U of W, as it's called) that something happened that ... well ... it's hard to put into only a few words. Oh, hell, I'll just tell it like it was.
At Christmas break, I was driving home from Laramie, and there was a car broken down on the highway, out in the middle of NO WHERE, Wyoming, about half way between Laramie and Casper. No, not the friendly ghost, although there was enough white for his whole family and then some.
The snow was falling, the wind was howling and it was so, so cold. I was having a terrible time just keeping my 4x4 on the road (My parents had seen fit to give me a new Jeep CJ6 with custom hardtop for my high school graduation). I knew I had to stop and help out -- you don't live in Wyoming, and not stop to help in a blizzard. It was the worst blizzard I had seen in many years ... I pulled up as close as I could to the vehicle, and honked my horn to let the occupants know I was there.
Someone opened the door of the stalled vehicle and stepped out into the snow bank, holding a suitcase, stumbled and fell to the ground.
I opened my door and jumped out to help the other driver. As I stepped around to the other side of the jeep, I approached, put out my hand, and he (or she) grabbed my hand. I pulled and he stood up and I opened the passenger's door of the jeep. He tossed his suitcase into the back seat and got in, quickly closing the door to keep the blowing snow out.
I still didn't know who the person was. I was more worried about how they were, than concerned about who they were.
Returning to the driver's side, I opened the door, got in, turned to speak, and, ... "OH MY GOD," I said aloud ... the most beautiful man in the world was sitting there ... there, inside my jeep, looking at me. I was shocked; there was a lump in my throat; I was so scared. There he was, the hunk of a man, yes ... the hunk of THE man, I could never approach, sitting there, smiling at me.
He said, "My name is James Andersen; thank you, thank you for stopping! It's so damn cold out there, I thought I would freeze to death tonight; I really did, you know."
I froze up, not from the cold, as I spit the words out at him, "No problem; help anyone stuck in "NO WHERE." God, that sounded so dorky, so stupid! What an idiot! I was embarrassing myself, so bad, I had a hard time thinking, let alone speaking; was it from the cold, or was it that he was sitting there next to me in my jeep, next to me ... next to me ... this is the closest we've ever been in our lives. I thought to myself, 'Thank you, God; thank you, thank you, thank you.'
He spoke again, "Could you turn up the heater a bit, please?"
He was freezing ... I could see it in his face. He was dressed warmly, but he looked to be wet; his clothes were soaking, the water dripping off them. And the heater was already on high heat.
I looked at him and said, "James, you need to get out of those wet clothes ... you'll be warmer without them on."
James looked at me and asked, "Aren't you Charles Lambert?"
Oh, MY GOD; he knew my name! How did he know? I was never one to be seen and wasn't popular in school. U of W was very large and we never ... well ... almost never, saw each other around the campus.
"Yes," I replied, still astonished at how he knew my name.
He sensed this as he spoke, "Well, I remember you from high school; you graduated with honors, didn't you?"
"Yes." Geeze, Stupid; say more then yes ... you do have a brain don't you?... but it was all I could muster.
James put out his hand in a gesture to shake mine. "Well, pleased to meet you," His hand shaking from the cold ... or was he nervous ... maybe both ... who knows?
"Pleased to meet you, too, James!" I blubbered. Reaching for his hand, I was shaking so bad, I was sure he would notice, but he took hold and squeezed with a man sized squeeze ... tight and strong.
But I didn't remember the words spoken, just the electric shock that traveled into my hand, up my arm, into my heart. I have no words to say how I felt, but did he have the same feeling, or was it just wishful thinking, playing tricks on me? Of course we'd never been this close before.
James was shivering as he sat there next to me. "I think maybe you're right, Charles; I'll shed some of these clothes; they're really wet. I was out of the car a long time trying to dig it out of the snow so I could get back on the road, but that was hopeless, you know?"
Oh, my, I didn't think he would do that, not in front of me, but who was I, just another kid ... no ...young man ... no ... some sort of ... who knows what ... stop it, stop it, a little voice told me.
He started to shed the clothes and I just stared at him; what a hunk he was. First, off came the parka, then the jacket, then his soaking shoes and socks. He was still soaked to the skin, and freezing still.
I just blurted out, "take off the rest," scared to death that he would, wanting him to, but scared he'd think I was ... oh, well, you know ... Oh, why did I tell him that? I knew that he wouldn't ... but, he did! I was shocked! He took off his shirt and tee shirt, then his trousers. There he sat, in just his jockeys. God! He was beautiful; blond hair, deep blue eyes, and a beautiful face, still wet, with just a light trace of hair down his chest, between two of the most beautiful quarter sized amber nipples, down to a cute inny belly button. Then the pleasure trail vanished under the waist band of his jockeys. My eyes moved down those long legs, powerful legs, to his feet, not big feet, not too small, either ... just the right size ... for him. Oh, baby bear, eat your heart out! For being a basketball player, he was not too tall; 6 foot 4 inches. He just sat there, still shaking like a leaf in the wind.
"You look like you're still freezing, James," I stuttered with a smile.
James replied, "I am," then asked if the heater would get any hotter?
I said, "Sorry, that's as hot as it gets, but let's get a move on, so we can get to Rock River. I think that's the closest town. There's a motel there, I know of, and we can get a room, or two, if that's ok with you." I was unsure of myself, and shaking, but not from the cold.
Still shivering, he replied, "One room's fine with me; I'm used to sharing rooms. You do know I play for the U of W's Basketball Team, don't you?"
"One room will be fine for the night. Oh, yes, I know; I hear you play very well, too!" God what a dork I am, that's the best I can say to this hunk. I was excited for some reason, I knew the reason, but my mind kept saying, 'This is just a normal guy, not a gay one ... stupid, stupid, don't go there, not now!'
It took only about 45 minutes to get to Rock River. I pulled into the small motel and told James, "You just wait here and stay warm until I get back."
With a laugh, James winked at me, "Ok, Charles, I don't plan on getting out of the jeep dressed like this." He was still shivering from the cold, or at least I thought so.
Again, my heart was pounding. 'God, could this really be happening, the love of my life ... smiling at me?' I had to stop thinking like this. Nothing was going to happen. I had to quit thinking like an idiot. I had no reason to think he would ever do that ... but I could dream, couldn't I?
I went into the office and rang the bell.
"Hello!" a voice came from somewhere within the bowels of the little motel.
"Do you have a room that a couple of stranded college kids could get for the night?" I asked the older man that came to the counter.
"Stranded?" he said.
"Yes, my friend's car is stuck about 20 miles south of here, on the west side of the road, deep in the bar pit," I replied in answer to his question.
The gentleman told me that sometime the next morning, the tow truck might be able to go out and get the car for James. Then he told me that it would be $25 plus tax, for the night, for a double room.
I told him, "I'll take it!" Then signed the register and picked up the key from the counter. I then went back, got into the jeep, and told him we had a room for the night.
James asked me before I got out of the Jeep, "Can you open the door for me so I can just run in? I'm not planning on getting dressed in here." He looked at me with big puppy dog eyes.
"Oh, okay," I said happily. I hopped out, went to the door, fumbled with the key, and after a few moments of shaky hands, I finally opened it for James. He ran from the Jeep, into the room in a flash.
I grabbed his suitcase from the back seat, then I grabbed mine, and lugged them both into the room. Then I went back out and retrieved James' wet clothes, brought them into the room, and hung them up to dry.
James came over to me as I turned around. He took me in a huge bear hug, and squeezed the hell out of me.
"Thanks so much for saving my life, Charles. I owe you big time, my friend. I really do thank you!" James said, still holding me so very close.
I was trying to get my jacket off as he hugged me, so he stopped until I was free of it. Then he came at me again and hugged me. Only this time he planted a big kiss on my lips. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD, what just happened? My mind was a blur, I felt faint, and my heart was racing. Time seemed to stand still; not knowing what to do, but knowing in my heart what I wanted to do, namely, take him right here and now! On the other hand, my rational mind was screaming; was he trying to seduce me or was it just a friendly kiss of thanks? Whatever it was I enjoyed it so much, that my manhood was standing tall, right then and there ... I wanted to say 'you're welcome,' or something like that, but the words would not come.
James, with a very nervous look on his beautiful face, said, "I hope you don't mind, I have been secretly admiring you, for years, never having the nerve to speak to you, I was always afraid you'd be a snob; oh, shit; that came out wrong! Sorry, oh, so sorry, Charles, I just don't know why I didn't. I guess I was afraid of being outted by the rich kid ... oh, yes, the CUTE rich kid. Oh, Charles, I even envied you; you were always so handsome, your clothes were so neat, you looked, oh, yes, you looked like you just stepped out of a HOLLYWOOD movie set." Then his nervous face turned into one of confidence and longing.
James was thinking to himself, 'God is this going to come out right? Here is the guy that just saved my life, and here I am trying to get him in bed ... God, he's going to just walk out and never look back.'
I shouted back, "Me? Mind? Never!"
James looked at me, with a puzzled little look on his face and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that, Charles, Oh, my! I didn't mean it like that." Again, James was thinking to himself 'You're lying, you're lying to yourself ... stop it now, and say what you mean or you will lose any chance you have, take the gamble, your mind kept saying.'
All I could say was, "Shhh! Don't be sorry; I've wanted to kiss you for a long time, James!" And I returned his kiss with passion. After the kiss, I slowly scanned his body from head to toe, and half-way back up, staring at the huge erection in his jockeys that was trying very hard (no pun intended) to get out ... James looked down at his manhood. Then he looked at me, and smiled broadly.
James continuing to smile and said, "Well, if this is what kissing you does, then I meant it like that."
I was so moved by that remark, I started taking off my shoes then socks, saying nothing.
James came over to the edge of the bed where I was sitting, and started unbuttoning my shirt, whispering in my ear, "Would you like to shower with me?" Then he started nibbling on my ear lobe.
I just continued to undress; my mind was in a frenzy, with thoughts of where this was going. As he watched me, my manhood grew harder than I could imagine; I have to admit, I had never been this hard before. There stood the love of my life, and he wanted to take a shower with me. 'ME!' Thoughts ran through my head; why did you wait so long? You are so stupid; not stupid, stupid, not stupid! ... stop fighting this, you idiot, just let it happen if it's gonna...'
I said, "Oh, yes, I've been wanting to do that all my life, James, or at least ever since I first saw you in high school." I was still uneasy with him, not knowing or understanding what was going on. Just hoping he wanted the same ... 'Could he really want the same? No, it couldn't be. Could it?'
James, with the look of love in his eyes, said, "Charles ... I want you, I've wanted you for so long, too long, oh, too, too long."
"James, please, oh please, are you sure?" I paused for a moment, then I smiled and said, "Just call me Charlie, please. Charles is so formal and proper."
I was in my boxers and he in his jockeys ... I looked at him standing there, in the middle of the room, his manhood, so, so hard. 'I know where this is going ... or is it? ... of course it is,' I thought.
Just then he grabbed my hand and a bolt of lighting shot into me, up my arm and into my chest; my heart raced, and my stomach filled with butterflies, and my hardness was ready to explode. He pulled me into himself, and began tightly hugging me, with both arms around me, and then he kissed me hard and wild, his tongue, pressing into my mouth, and I was trying just as hard to get mine into his, like two eels fighting for a cave to play in. We ground our hips together, our cocks danced with each other's. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of his jockeys, pulled them down over his strong muscled thighs, down his long silky legs, until they were in a heap on the floor ... All without us even parting our lips, our tongues were still dancing together.
Then, he pushed me back.
I said, "No, no, don't stop now; please don't ever stop, James."
James spoke with passion in his voice, "Call me Jim; pleeeeese, Charlie."
"Oh, yes," I said in a groan, "Oh, Jim, don't stop now; pleeeeese, don't ever stop."
Panting, Jim said, "Oh! God, how I've wanted to do this for so long, and what a waste, what a waste ... I don't want this to end ... ever."
"Me, too," I said, with another groan.
Jim pulled my boxers off and pulled me into the shower. His skin was still cold, but he was oh, so, hot, too hot; no, not too hot; too horny, no, not too horny; oh shit, it felt oh, so, good ... we were grinding our cocks together and stroking each other's backs, the water was washing all the freezing, cold out of his skin, and the passion of the moment was also adding to the heat.
I said, "Can we make love all night? I never want tonight to end," planting kisses all over him.
A deeper kiss was Jim's answer, saying in a whisper "Oh, yes, my love; oh, yes."
I groaned, saying, "No, it can't be; it's too fast," tailing off, saying in a whisper, "No one can fall in love that fast."
My mind silently raced, 'Or, can they? No, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes you can, I'm in love with him, so why not him with me?'
Jim said with a gasp of breath into my ear, "Oh, yes you can!" as he began to take deeper, and deeper breaths, then he let out with a loud, "Oh, Charlie, I love you. God! We have waaaaaaaaaited for tooooo many years for this to happen."
I felt wave upon wave of muscles twitching as he shot load after load onto my stomach, gasping, as his leg started shaking. I yelled, not whispered, not spoke, just yelled, "Oh, Jimmmmm, I'm coming, ohhhhhhhhhh, shiiiiit!" I shot my load onto his chest.
We just held each other for what seemed liked hours, in the hot shower. Thank goodness, it was a motel, or we would've been standing in ice cold water by then.
Jim said, "Charlie, I love you, oh, how I love you, why, why, did we wait so long?" he was still holding me ever so tight.
We were still shaking, coming down from the height of our passion, and I said, "I don't know, too scared of rejection, or worse, being outed, who knows? But, Jim, truthfully, I have loved you from the first day I ever saw you."
We stepped out of the shower, each grabbed a towel. We took turns drying each other's bodies. We kissed, and kissed, with more kisses and more kisses ... then Jim walked over to one of the two beds and pulled back the covers, "Come here, Charlie, my love, I want you next to me tonight and forever; yes, Charlie, tonight and forever!"
Not saying a word, I walked over to the bed and held out my arms, with the biggest smile I'd ever had on my face. I looked into his deep dark blue eyes and said, "Jim, my love, I'll never leave you. I've waited too long for this night."
Jim pulled me into bed and we cuddled. The heat of our bodies, oh, yes, the heat was intense. I was on my side and he was facing my back, legs to legs, chest to back, his cock rested between my ass cheeks, his head lay on my shoulder. Jim whispered, "Want to make love again?"
"Oh yes," I said, "but not now, I just want to lie here with you, be with you, in your arms. Just hold me, please, oh, hold me close and pinch me, oh, oh, this has to be a dream, it can't be real, no, it can't be real."
"Charlie! It's real, my love, it's so real! I will hold you for as long as you like, my love. We have forever if you want it," Jim stated with all the love in his voice, there was no question about it in my mind ... no question at all.
I shouted, "Jim! If, I WANT? Oh, God, how badly, I want; how could I not want you, after wanting you for so long, for ever so long now."
And then I thought and prayed, 'Dear God ... Thank you. Thank you for this blizzard tonight.'
The blizzard that night was statewide, or at least the central part of Wyoming, and there were others on the road, others getting stuck and waiting for help. Yes, Charlie's parents were out in this storm as well, trying to get back to the ranch. That's where Charlie was born and raised, that was home, and where he was heading that Christmas break, when he saw the stranded car that held his beloved Jim.
It was dark and the snow was howling, north of Casper. On the highways, were snowplows, doing their jobs, keeping the roads passable. If anyone has been in a blizzard, in a real down-to-brass-tacks blizzard, you will know that you loose sight of the road, you loose sight of even headlights, there are times when you have no idea where the hell you are. It's just white, pure white, and nothing you do will change what's out in the snow. Antelope, Cows, Horses, Elk, you name it; anything can be on the road, even snow plows, doing there jobs.
Charlie's parents, both of them, were in Casper, shopping, and then headed home. Shaun (Charlie's father) was trying so hard to see what was ahead, he should have pulled over, but he was determined to get home, back to the ranch. In a flash, out of the snow, there was a cow, a huge cow, right in the middle of the road. Shaun hit the brakes, which did nothing on the snow covered road, and the car started to spin out of control, then he yelled, "MARY, Oh, God, hold on, love!" ... and then there was the sound of metal crunching, bending, glass breaking, and then, finally, silence, dead ... solid ... silence, no light, no sound, nothing, then there was a golden orange flickering of light, then nothing again.
As the snowplow rounded the curve, what the driver saw was a huge ball of flames, in the middle of the road. He picked up his radio and called for the Highway Patrol. He told them to hurry, that he was afraid there were deaths at the scene of this accident.
Poor, poor, Charlie; he would forever curse the day that he had thanked God for that Blizzard!
To be continued...
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