The story, Anxiety and Guilt, may contain descriptions of sexual encounters and contact between consenting adolescent and young adults. Although my stories are fiction, they are loosely based upon facts and life experiences that my friends and I have discussed and/or personally experienced. Many of the facts are drawn from my life experiences and the life experiences of others that I care deeply about; therefore, specific names, places, times, and dates have been altered to protect all innocent parties.
All rights are reserved. This story may not be distributed to any publications or posted on any site public or private without the express written permission from the author.
If you are not of legal age to read stories of this nature or you are offended by the subject matter contained herein do not read any further.
Anxiety and Gilt: Lost and Found
The Foreword
By Robert the Red
The envelope in his hands was
addressed to Robert Thompson, Jr. Robert excitedly tore open the envelope there
was a beautiful Christmas card enclosed with the following message inside: "Dear Robby, My brother, Rich, and I plan to
be in San Diego on Sunday, December 18, 2005. We would like to meet with you
for a visit and to discuss certain matters. Here is my cell phone number [555
555-1234] please call me so that we may arrange a time, date, and place to meet
during the week of December 18, 2005. Yours truly, Michael Millhouse."
Robert immediately recognized the two names from his past. Mike was a few
months younger and his brother Richard was a few months older than Robert. The
boys had been the best of friends growing up in
The Millhouse and Thompson
families had been next door neighbors in
Robert secretly hoped that
the person in
Puberty, those awkward years in boy's lives, from about the age of ten on, whereby boys begin to take on the physical characteristics of men. Not only does a boy's body go through physical changes, but his emotions change too. A boy's voice changes and so does how he views his peers. Boys are bombarded by intrusive thoughts about sex and are plagued with accompany erections, many times unwanted.
Robert remembered those days of puberty and the accompanying thought process. He definitely remembered the spontaneous erections from days gone by. Some of those memories and times were good and some not so good, but he had survived it all with most of his cognitive and emotional faculties intact. The three boys were pretty much inseparable during their youth; however, that would all change for them when the two families announced the relocation plans due to new jobs that each of their father's had taken in different states.
Spring and early summer 1975 was a torturous time for the three boys, especially Richard and Robert, after they learned that they would be separated and possibly never see each other again. Needless to say, the news of pending family moves had a devastating impact on the boys. They thought for sure that they all would continue to grow up together and go onto high school together. The boys tried to cram as much living as possible into the remaining weeks of spring and early days of summer before the moves. They spent as much of their waking hours possible playing and consoling each other. For Robert and Richard the move was going to be much more devastating for them than for Mikey.
Amid all the tearful goodbyes
were promises made by the boys to stay in touch with each other, but as in most
cases those promises faded fast. The Millhouse family was the first to move,
relocating to
The move to
Yes, there was a certain parts of Robert's new world that was empty leaving him unhappy and depressed, longing for the companionship of Richard. For some unexplainable reason Robert still secretly longed for that sexual championship that had developed between he and Richard, and felt that no one else would ever fill the emptiness he was feeling. Robert and Richard had explored every inch of each other's naked bodies and experimented sexually with each other from a time well before puberty, and later Mikey would join them in the sex play.
Robert would lie in bed night after night sexually aroused and haunted by old fantasies that revolved around Richard and Mikey. He was the typical horny male teen dealing with issues of adolescent puberty, especially sexual. Robert wondered if Richard had found a new special friend to help him fulfill his sexual fantasies and desires thereby relieving sexual tensions. Something he and Richard had done so many times while growing up, and it all seemed so natural.
Robert was fearful of trying
to establish any type of new sexual relationship in his new surroundings for
fear of being outed and humiliated in his new school. Eventually, however, he
would find a new jerk off bud at the high school outside
Eventually Robert and his new best bud from the wrestling team would engage in some sixty-nine pleasuring sessions to get each other off, but that was the extent of things. Robert yearned for more. In Robert's junior year both boys broke off their secret sex society and began to occupy themselves with the company of girls and other activities. Robert also joined the Navy during his senior year in high school. Another extracurricular active that would dominate much of his liesure time, and then once he graduated from high school he was immediately off to active duty in the Navy.
After Robert's enlistment in
the Navy was up he was discharged at the Naval Station in
On the surface Robert and his
new bride appeared totally in love and committed to each other; however, Robert
still secretly harbored mental images about those years growing up in
The memories of those youthful days were amusing now, but had not been so funny thirty some years prior. Robert remembered how he would many times be forced to hold his books in front of himself covering his crotch as he moved from one class to the next trying to conceal a raging hard on. Later on, dependent upon the type and texture of the trousers he wore wet spots of precum stains would become prominent. At times this situation would become very embarrassing for Robert. Sometimes he would have to get a hall pass to go to the restroom for relief and to clean up.
He remembered with more frequency how the three boys would help each other relieve themselves after school and other times. Robert was unsure what was happening or why these old memories were now recurring so frequently thirty years later. Maybe it was because he thought that he had found his former friend. One thing for sure, Robert knew that he was being driven by a curiosity to know what became of his old friends, especially Richard, and how they developed and what they became in life. Most of all he wanted to know if they too had recurring thoughts about those wonderful days of their youth.
To try and satisfy his inquisitive interests Robert had typed in the name Richard M. Millhouse into the Yahoo search engine while he was idly perusing the Internet one day and ran across a match. During that search session he also ran across what he thought might be an obituary for and Mike and Richard's Mother. After further online investigation and a couple of phone calls to an old Navy buddy who lived in Hawaii Robert discovered the ugly truth. Robert's friend from the Navy who was now an attorney quickly connected the dots, filled in the blank spaces, and confirmed the death of Mrs. Millhouse, the boy's mother.
Robert's attorney friend
reported back to Robert that a year after the family moved to
Robert was excited about the
idea of seeing his old friends once again, especially Richard. In a way he
wished that his wife could be there to take part in the reunion, however in
another way he was glad she was not around. You see, Robert's wife was deployed
to
As the phone began to ring
Robert hoped to soon discover what the urgent meeting was all about. Mike
answered and they exchanged greetings, but Mike was reluctant to discuss
anything about the upcoming meeting on the phone. He told Robert that would all
be revealed when they met later on. Robert did find out that the family had
received his card of condolence, and Richard received the Christmas card
earlier in the month. So, Robert dismissed further attempts to discover details
about the meeting, and asked how and when they would arrive in
Mike told him that they were
flying into
Robert wondered if he might
have been named in the mother's will. She had always been very fond of Robert
or Robby as he was known as a youngster growing up in suburbs of
As Robert sat in his recliner
in the family room of his home trying to digest all the news about his old
friends his mind began to wonder about what the two boys, men now, looked like
after all the years apart. They were thirteen and fourteen when they all parted
ways in 1975. Robert continued to ponder and daydream about old times growing
up as a kid in
Robert had been daydreaming in his recliner for quite a while actively rubbing the large bulge that lurked between his legs. Robert was curious as to what the two boys had been up to over the years and how they had turned out in life, but he would be forced to wait for that answer for a few more days. In the meantime, Robert noticed a wet spot developing on the front of his tan trousers, much like the unwanted wet spots from his middle school days. He knew instinctively it was time to hit the shower so he could beat the fire breathing crotch dragon into submission before it was too late.
Robert stood under the warm
spray from the shower with both hands around the neck of the redheaded crotch
dragon trying his best to choke it into submission. Finally, the gargantuan red
head on the sex serpent spewed forth potent eruptions of seminal fluid against
the white shower surround, and washed down the drain. Robert had found sexual
relief, for the time being at least. Robert now free from pent-up sexual
pressure returned to the kitchen refreshed and ready to face the domestic
challenges of preparing dinner. Later that evening after dinner finished and dishes
were cleaned Robert called his parent's in
With all domestic duties finished for the evening Robert prepared for bed. Once inside his bedroom he made sure the door to the bedroom was locked and that there was a tube of lubricant and towel on the night table in preparation for a night battle with the red headed sex serpent that lie asleep between his legs. Even though he was sore from an earlier engagement with the crotch dragon Robert knew instinctively that before he awoke that he would do battle once again before dawn. The sexual fantasies would continue to play out in Robert's dreams for the next four nights until the Sunday meeting; youthful fantasies about the three boys growing up and growing into puberty. Throughout those fantasies Robert would engage the aroused sex serpent and do battle with it, and every morning thereafter a clean sheets were in order.
For the next four mornings as
Robert prepared breakfast he found himself haunted by certain apprehensions and
fears about the up coming meeting. He was a little uptight about what memories
his friends might have about him now that they were adults. The angst of the unknown
was becoming a burden. Robert was hopeful that there would be no feelings of
blame, guilt, or remorse on the part of his former friends. The upcoming
meeting would either be a total bust or one of the best Christmas presents ever
for Robert; whatever the outcome it would all have to wait until
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The story you have just read is approximately a three thousand word foreword chapter introducing chapters to come. Let me know if you like what you have read and would like to see more of this storyline. Any comments on the story are welcome. Just direct your comments to Robert the Red, Subject: Anxiety and Guilt at: redcock28 "at" yahoo.com
Sorry for the "at" instead of @ in the e-mail address, but just tired of Spam.