Chapter 15

Watching Ego with his tongue down Urge's throat is the worst feeling that I've ever felt. It feels like a million stabs to my back over and over again. I have no choice but to feel those stabs. I have no choice but to embrace them even when I bleed through the pain.

Love feels my emotion. He holds onto my hands. He squeezes my fingertips to give me strength but regardless of how much my friend wants me to feel it I know that I still feel so weak. Love has felt this pain before when he found Craving cheating. I was sure of it. I know there is no one else who would really understand what it feels like to be hurt by the one you love than him.

Still. It doesn't matter.

"That was amazing," Ego says after parting lips from Urge.

Urge's eyes were closed when he kisses Ego. He opens his eyes slowly. His blue eyes are staring at Ego. He doesn't make a move towards Ego but he isn't exactly stopping Ego either.

"I don't know what to say..." Urge responds.

"You don't have to say anything," Ego responds, "Tonight you can be the silent blue-eyed killer. You can be the dark prince. You can be yourself with me. I'll take care of you. OK? You trust me. Here. Come take me right here."

Ego crawls out on the fur rug. He lays out on it. His ass is pointed towards Urge. I feel a little sick when I see that Urge is staring directly at Ego's asshole. Ego is tightening and loosening up his asshole for Urge. He is tempting him.

Urge doesn't do anything.

Ego then goes further. He must notice Urge's reluctance. He wants to tempt him more. He takes two fingers and puts them in his mouth. He gets them real wet with saliva. After that, he takes the two fingers and puts it in his asshole. He fingers himself over and over in his asshole in front of Urge. He's trying to get Urge to come over to him.

Urge's dick is getting harder. It's bare but I can tell there is a little bit more weight there than before. He's getting harder.

He takes a few steps towards Ego.

Ego gets excited. I see this smile come on his face as Urge comes over on top of him. He lowers his head. His head is down in the floorboards. His asshole is touted towards Urge giving him easy access.

I can't take this.

"Fuck this," I state.

"Wait," Love whispers, "Look..."

I look at what Love is talking. Urge doesn't pull his dick out like I think he is. He doesn't even kneel down over Ego to eat him out or do anything of that nature.

Urge fixes his foot as though he is about to punt a football!

Then he delivers the most devastating kick I'd ever seen right into Urge's ass. The kick is swift and hard. He punts the fuck out of Ego's ass almost literally sticking his foot up Ego's ass. Ego is sent barreling across the cabin floor. He rolls into the other side of the wall. He hits the wall so hard that he shakes the entire fucking cabin.

He is shocked that Urge just kicked him like that.

"What the FUCK!" Ego is screaming.

"Desire warned me about you. I really thought you were better than that," Urge says shaking his head disappointed, "This whole time I thought you actually gave a fuck about me but you're just trying to fuck me? Are you fucking serious? FUCK YOU! You dirty homewrecking hoe! Your brain must be up your ass if you thought you were going to come in here and play those stupid fucking tricks. You must be a fucking dumbass if you thought I would fuck you."

I never heard Urge curse someone out like that. Urge wasn't really the verbal sort of attacker. He assaulted people physically but I never heard him curse.

"Your boyfriend was getting HEAD from another guy but I'm the hoe?" Ego says getting to his feet and putting his clothes on with all this embarrassment, "I can't fucking believe you."

"You don't have to believe me. I should have trusted Desire all this time about you and I'm going to let him know that."

"You're going to crawl right back to him aren't you?"

"Yes I am," Urge states, "Every single time. Because what I have is true love. Nothing is going to stand in between me and Desire. Nothing. Not you. Not Denny. Not Ignorance. Not Tom. Not hundreds of assassins. Not billions of assassins. We are one. I am Desire and Desire is me."

Urge is helping Ego get his stuff. He picks up a shoe and throws it right at Ego's head. It lands on Ego's forehead square in the face. Love damn near blows our spot when he sees that happening from laughing. I wish I could laugh at this moment at Urge checking Ego but honestly I'm so happy that I'm just smiling and falling in love with Urge all over again.

"Yeah literally. You guys are a little too close if I remember," Ego says putting on his shoes, "You do realize he's your brother still right?"

"I don't give a fuck if he was my twin. We are going to be some incestuous ass husbands, because I'm marrying that boy."

"You're sick."

"And Desire is the only medicine I need," Urge retorts.

I never saw this side of Urge. He's never had so many comebacks in his life. Usually, Urge would just stay quiet but right now he seems just as pissed as I am with all of Ego's antics. Right now he is showing Ego where he stands. He's showing Ego where he has always stood. Urge has been right by my side and he's never left.

"I'm out of here," Ego says before adding, "Fuck you."

"That's the point," Urge responds, "You can't fuck me. You never will be able to."

Ego starts walking outside of the house. Urge turns away from him. I can tell that Urge is annoyed. He's looking in his cellphone. My pocket is vibrating. It's clear that Urge is calling me. He's unblocked me! He's finally unblocked me!

Just as my phone rings I know that my cover is going to be blown. Then I realize something else. I realize Ego pick up a knife behind Urge's back.

Ego aims the knife at Urge!

Urge isn't even watching! The knife goes straight into Urge's back!

I start punching through the floorboard. I'm so angry that I don't know how many times I punch or how much effort I'm putting there. All I know is that this motherfucker literally just stabbed Urge in the back. I wasn't going to have that.

I crawl out of the floor and Ego's face says it all. He's shocked. Ego doesn't say anything. He just seems honestly surprised to see me here. I'm looking at him like he is something to eat, though. I wanted Ego. I wanted to destroy this motherfucker once and for all.

Urge is laying on the ground. He's bleeding out. Love jumps out of the hole that I made and attempts to go see if Urge is OK.

"He's alive," Love tells me after checking his pulse.

Just as he says that the door opens. Allure runs into the house with her sniper rifle. Craving follows her in. Allure has her gun pointed directly at Ego. I think they ran in because they heard me punching a hole through the floor. There is a gigantic hole in the floor leading to the foundation of the cavern. I have bloody fists but honestly, I don't feel any pain. There is only one emotion that comes to mind when I look at Ego. I'm pissed off. He's really done it now.

Ego puts his hands up.

"Damn, what does a man have to do to get some privacy?" Ego asks with a smile.

"What's wrong with Urge?" Craving asks me.

"This asshole stabbed him in the back," I respond.

Ego laughs. He laughs! He thinks it's funny that Urge's back is bleeding out on the cabin floorboards. Urge is struggling to stay conscience but it's clear that the knife impaled him deeply. Urge could die. And Ego laughs. He thinks it's funny.

"What are you going to do about it?" Ego asks me.

Allure cocks her rifle. Ego ducks all of a sudden losing that sense of security that he had. He isn't smiling now. He's a fucking coward who likes to pretend that he is tough. He would have never had thrown that knife at Urge's face. He never would have fought Urge one on one. He waited until Urge turned around to do it.

"Now this isn't really fair," he says, "Four against one?"

"Allure put your gun down. He's mine," I tell her.

Ego laughs, "You sure you want to do this again? We know what happened the last time you tried to prove how big your balls are."

Allure looks over at me, "Desire...he's right..."

I normally would be upset that she doesn't have confidence in me but she saw what happened last time. She saw how Ego completely destroyed me in the last fight that we had. I wasn't going to let that happen right now. I've never been so mad in my life. I've never been so upset in my fucking life now that Ego had hurt Urge. Urge was my life. He was the one that I lived for. Ego stabbing him is basically Ego doing something worse than hurting me.

"Back off," I warn her.

I start heading towards Ego. Blood is rushing through my veins. I only see red. He smiles getting up from behind the counter. He lifts his legs. He goes into Crane stance. It's a defensive stance. I remember so many times when Urge and I would spar I would always go into the Crane stance. Urge would always go into the tiger stance.

This time, I'm going into the tiger stance.

My front foot is pointed forward, just the balls of my feet are on the ground. My heel is lifted a few inches off of the ground. Both knees are bent. The tiger was a top predator. It didn't require the speed of the cheetah. It didn't require the pride of a lion. It didn't require the grace of a crane. The tiger only required power. That was all that mattered. Right now I was a tiger. And there was a reason the tiger killed more humans than any other cat.

"This is going to be fun," he tells me.

Ego goes for the roundhouse kick with a sense of purpose. He kicks me in my neck. I don't budge. Maybe I feel pain but my body rejects it. My body rejects anything that he could do to me to cause me any more pain.

"You really tried so hard to make Urge hate me, didn't you?" I ask him, "You went out of your way."

He attempts a knee strike, realizes that doesn't work so retreats for a minute into a wall. He kicks off on the wall to try a flying roundhouse kick. I catch his leg in mid-air. He attempts to pull his leg away. He jerks realizing that I have his leg and I'm not letting go.

"What the fuck?" he asks.

Ego is panicking. He didn't expect this.

"Let me share a little bit of my pain with you."

I punch at the joint in his upper thigh and lower crotch area. I can hear his pelvis fracture. A loud cracking noise fills the cabin. Ego squirms with pain. He literally screams at the top of his lungs when I hit him again. Tears come after the pain. There are so many tears but right now I don't care for them. After the tears, there is a quiet sense of disbelief. He's wondering if I really just did what I did. He falls to the ground holding onto his leg and breathing hard sucking in all the air around him in an attempt to compose himself. I won't give him the chance to compose himself.

"Oh fuck," Craving says covering his eyes.

He hasn't seen anything yet. Ego looks up at me.

"You want me to beg for my life, you worthless faggot?" Ego asks, literally drooling out of his mouth from screaming so much from pain.

"No I won't kill you," I respond to him.

I drag him up from his neck and pull him into the kitchen. He isn't even struggling. He is in too much pain to struggle. I look around in the drawer.

"What are you looking for Desire?" Allure asks.

I ignore her. When I find it I think they all know what I'm looking for. I'm looking for my signature weapon. I find a knife in that drawer. It's a sharp boning knife.

"I'm going to make sure you never look at Urge with your thirsty fucking eyes again," I tell him.

The knife goes through his pupil. I carve. I twist. I can hear the agonizing squirms as he realizes what I'm doing to his one good eye. I pull the knife out and the eyeball comes directly out of the socket with the knife. There are blood and eye juices on my fingertips. There are squirms and it's not just from Ego. The others have realized what I had done.

They look at me like I'm some type of monster. Maybe I am. My mother took out one of Ego's eyes and I made sure to take out the other. Ego squirms around the floor with a lost sense of panic screaming how he was going to kill me and calling me every type of faggot in the book.

I get more stares.

It's Love who speaks out first, "We should go. Urge needs medical attention."

Allure grabs Ego by the back of his neck and throws him out into the woods. Ego is wandering around still attempting to look for me.

Craving has Urge in his hands and Love is leading the way back to the vehicle. We descend the side of the trail where we left the car. No one says anything about me removing Ego's eye. I saw the looks they gave me, though. They were a little sick about it. Maybe they expected the fight to last so much longer than it did. Maybe it would have been better if I just killed Ego, but I didn't want him dead. I want him living knowing exactly what happened when he fucked with Urge. I wanted him to live the rest of his life suffering from those consequences.

Even if that meant me being a monster.

"Do you guys smell that?" Love asks.

Allure looks through her rifle. She is looking around. I know Allure enough to know when something is bothering her. She takes a slow, calm breath. She almost seems like she is taking a test at that moment. I knew studying Allure's face that something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong.

"What is it?" I ask Allure.

"The car is on fire."

Avarice was in that car. I had no doubt who had set the car on fire, though. They were making sure that we couldn't escape.

"They are here," I state.

"Everywhere," she confirms, "The trees. Do you feel them. All around us?"

"How many?" Craving asks.

Allure looks through her scope, "Enough to handle us."

It's just an unnatural breeze through the trees. It's just a silent chirp on the ground. It's a silent unsteadiness that fills the night. A normal person would never know the distance but we were trained to know the difference.

The Assembly had arrived...

Maybe it was my fault for spending so long dealing with personal issues. It didn't matter now. Regret wasn't a luxury that we had time to afford.

"Take Urge and get out of here," I explain to my friends, "They are after me. I'll lead them away."

I knew my mother. She always taught me not to do something for nothing. If she came all this way she wouldn't leave without a trophy. I can have my friends be that trophy or I can choose to be that trophy. Either way, Ignorance would want her trophy. I wasn't willing to sacrifice my friends. That definitely wasn't going down.

Craving gives me a hard look. "Fuck. No. Never. Ever."

His voice is firm and to the point. I know Craving would be hard to move.

Urge was bleeding out though. Urge needed Craving to carry him. Craving was the only one strong enough. Allure's rifle could protect them. Love could be support to keep Urge safe and he had some background in first aid to assist until Urge got real medical attention. They needed to stay together.

"Allure..." I plead.

Allure looks at me. I know my friends and I know out of all of them Allure would make the right decision. She was the least likely to make emotional decisions in this sort of situation. She was a good leader and was able to really call it as she saw it.

"Take this," Allure says pulling out a hunting knife and throwing it at me.

"You going to let him do this alone?" Craving asks her.

"Yes," Allure responds, "Desire isn't a kid anymore. He can handle himself. He doesn't need you right now. Urge needs you. Desire, are you sure they will follow you?"

I feel the breeze.

They are coming.

I nod, "I'm sure."

Love looks over at Urge, "Urge won't live long if we don't make up our mind about this. He needs medical attention."

There is a pause. One seconds. Two seconds. Every second feels like another second that Urge would be dying.

Allure finally nods and gives her decision, "We are leaving Desire."

"I'm not leaving him," Craving argues, "You guys can carry Urge. I'll stay with him and maybe..."

"I'm the leader of this team Craving. I gave you an order," Allure responds.

Allure never really played the leader card. Truthfully I wasn't sure if anyone had officially ever designated her the role. It was just something that we all sort of knew. Allure was the leader.

This was definitely something she had to do now, though. That is the only way Craving would leave with Urge. Allure gives Craving a hard look. Craving doesn't look at me. I think I know why. If he looks at me he would refuse the order that Allure was giving. I can tell he has an attitude. Allure looks at me and smiles. She doesn't like giving orders to "her boys" but I had no doubt she would if she had to.

"I'll give you as much cover as I can," Allure promises me.

"Thank you."



"I love you," she responds.

Allure had never really said that to me. It feels like a goodbye.

"I love you too," I respond to her.

I run back into the woods without giving her another look. My heart is beating. I look back in the trees. The trees are alive. The ruffles in the darkness get louder and louder. My heart beats faster and faster!

I'm sweating, tripping over my legs attempting to run back towards the cabin. It's the only place I know that I can make a stand.

The shadows move through the trees. They are like dark ghosts haunting the living. The woods have become a link to hell right now and there are demons in these trees. They are quick gliding from tree to tree in pursuit of me. I'm right. They have abandoned Allure and the others. They are after me now. I have become the main target. The assassins get closer and I can feel them at my heels.


I have to be faster! Desire, you can do it.

They are close! Too close! I won't make it. Fuck! I won't make it! They are so fucking fast! I know it. I can almost feel them right above me now.

Thats when I hear a bang! I hear Allure shoot her gun into the trees from a distance. I know it's her because a few seconds later I see three people clad in all black fall from the tree tops and hit the ground. It startles the rest of them enough to let me get ahead a little bit. Allure continues to shoot from the distance and it is literally raining men. Soon I am out of target however even from Allure's sniping rifle.

They are getting lower in the trees! They are getting bolder!

I've never been so scared in my life as my legs move faster than anything I've ever imagined. I manage to get to the cabin.

I run behind the door. My heart is beating so fast that I think it may just come out of my chest. I push the couch in front of the door. I put as many obstacles in front of the door, but deep inside I know that it won't hold them. They would get in. These weren't SOS members. This was the Assembly. Nothing would stop them. I'd seen what Avarice alone could do. There were many members of the Assembly out there and they were all coming for me.

There is silence.

The dreary silence of death behind that door.

My own breathing terrifies me.

It's so quiet. It's way too quiet. They are here... all around me. I can see the shadows behind the curtains of the windows. There are so many shadows. I run into the closet looking for something besides a knife I can use to protect myself. I find some propane gas tanks in the cabin. This would have to do.

After preparing the gas tanks I sit in the middle of the floor. There is nothing left to do now but wait. I sit indian style in the middle of the floor waiting for my mother.

She comes with a loud thud.

The monster known only as Stupidity kicks through the door with two or three hard thrusts to the wooden panels. The door is shattered. The monster walks into the door and clears a way for the other members of the assembly. They surround me. They are everywhere.

I count 30 of them. They are all surrounding me. Their eyes look down at me. I can't see any faces or anything like that. They wrapped up like dark ninjas. All I see are these evil eyes staring at me.

My mother is the last one to walk in.

"You run well," she tells me, "I hope after all these years you learned a little bit more than running."

My mother stands over me. To her right is her gigantic bodyguard Stupidity. I would not stand a chance against him. He would crack me in half without even trying.

"Fuck you," I tell my mother.

Stupidity reaches over. With one hand he grabs me off of the ground by my collar. He holds me almost like I'm some sort of toy or plaything.

"You are so angry with me, haven't I given you everything you ever wanted?"

"You gave me away to become an assassin!"

"I made you strong. I gave you a reason to live. You were a spoiled child back then. Look at you now. You are a man. What more can someone want? What more could a mother give her son?"

I shake my head. She had no idea. Didn't she see Pleasantville? Didn't she see the white picket fence. Didn't she know what I really wanted deep down inside. Maybe she honestly thought I just wanted to be some assassin my whole life. This woman didn't know me. She didn't know me at all.

"You have no idea who I am," I let her know. "What am I going to do with you?"

"You are ungrateful. What am I going to do with you?"

"Today is a good day to die."

"Who said anything about killing you?" my mother asks me, "You are my son. You belong back into the assembly."

No. Never. That was worse than hell.

"Who said you had a choice?" I ask my mother, "Do you smell that mother?"

She seems confused, "What is it?"

"It's my desire," I explain to her.

With that I kick off of Stupidity as hard as I can. I run. I'm running to the stove. By now the entire house has filled up with propane gas. All I have to do is light the stove.

It flickers as the assassin's come for me. Before anyone can touch me the cabin explodes.

This was me. This was my flaming heart. These were my hopes and dreams. This was my desire.

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