Chapter 16

I return home after finding out that the man who I was with for most of my adult life was with my brother. Not only were they together but they lived together. They had kids.

I get a knock on my door.

I am sitting in the darkness when I get it. I turn the light on and go to the door. There he was. The motherfucker that stabbed me in the back. My brother Joshua was standing behind the door at that moment.

“I think it's important I came up here to talk to you.”


“What about?”


“Jamison. Let's not play these games right now. Let's just do this and get it over with. You know what I'm here to talk to you about. I just let you know that I'm with Keon.”


Joshua wasn't better looking than me. Some people said we favored each other but honestly I thought his nose was far too wide and I thought he was way too old to break out as many times as he did. I had a better body than him. I had a bigger butt.

The only thing that Joshua had on me was his career. His fucking career that he had given up to open the Marchioness. Was that enough for him to steal my fucking man?


“I mean what else is there to talk about, then?” I ask.

“You don't have questions.”


I sigh.

“I will. Right now I just need to wrap my head around how I come back home and find my brother in the bed that I think should be mine.”


“You're being passive aggressive again,” Joshua states.

Joshua prides himself in being straight-forward. He's a straight shooter, right? Pow. Pow. I look at the smug look on his face. He loves himself. He thinks he's the man because he balls enough to march up to my room and confront me. He's daring me to argue with him. Joshua would love that. He lived for confronting people. He lived for getting into an argument. He would want nothing more. Maybe that's why he's here now. He wants to argue with me. I'll say something I shouldn't say and he'd kick my ass out in the streets where I had nothing to my name.


I knew my brother so well.

He's daring me to say something to him. He's daring me to argue with him.

I force my stare, “You know what? I'm just kind of confused on why no one ever said anything to me.”


“I wanted to, Keon said it was a bad idea.”


These motherfuckers were trying to drive me crazy I think.

“Keon sent you up here, didn't he?” I ask.

That fucking coward would send Joshua up here. Yeah. Joshua was a straight shooter. Pow. Pow. I could hear Keon now. “Hey baby, maybe you should be the one to go up there and talk to your brother. You've always been up front. He's expect it.” And I can see Joshua probably getting hard on at the idea of starting some shit. There was nothing Joshua enjoyed more than coming into someone's peace and starting some shit.

Joshua has the audacity to roll his eyes, “Does it matter? I'm here now. And I'm trying to find out if there is a problem.”

I smile.

“I'll talk to Keon about it.”


“I'm standing right here. Talk to me about it,” Joshua responds, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrow, “Don't you want to know how it happened?”


Was he nervous about me talking to Keon for some reason? If he had his relationship so underwraps then why the fuck did he care if I was going to talk to Keon or not.

“I'll talk to Keon about it,” I state, putting on a smile, “Have a goodnight.”


He's about to say something else but I slam the door in his face. I want to hit him. I want to take my fist and drive it into Joshua's face but I don't. I need Joshua right now and in prison I had learned patience. When you are in a cage you are forced to learn patience. There isn't much really good reading material locked up.

~

I come downstairs in the morning. The glass walls of the house let the light in. You don't need any goddam lamps during the daytime in the house. The natural lighting in this place is ridiculous. The house my brother and Keon live in is beautiful to say the least. I wonder whose idea it is for me to stay with them after I got out. I feel like I don't even know these people anymore. We grew up in the fucking ghetto and now they lived in this mansion be the ocean.

I walk downstairs to something cooking. It smells fucking amazing to say the least.

“Morning Uncle Jamison,” the girls say together.

I stare at them. The prettiest little girls I've ever seen in my fucking life. They are sitting at the kitchen table eating pancakes. I watch as their hot babysitter walks over and pours them apple juice. The guy has on a muscle shirt. I wonder if he always wears these fucking muscle shirts or if he's just doing this sort of thing today.

“So well behaved,” I state looking at the girls.

I feel so shaky when I get down the steps. The girls smile at me. They are so goddam pretty. I can't stand it. Seeing their fine ass male governess isn't really helping much either. I feel out of place. This can't be real. The fact that Keon and my brother have kids just make this all so much more...real.

“This is Isabella and this is Eva,” the man states.

“And what's your name?” I ask, “Chart...or was it Diagram or...”


“Graph,” he responds.

I knew it. I can't help but throw shade though and be defensive. This guy couldn't possibly be allowed to dress in a shirt that showed his nipples and abs on a regular basis. I wasn't born yesterday. Joshua was parading this motherfucker in front of me for a reason. What did he think? I'd end up dating this guy? Or even worse? Did he think I'd fuck him so that he could run back to tell Keon.

I watch how the guy flashes me his smile. I watch how he approaches me. He smells good. It's Tuesday. Who wears expensive cologne on a Saturday morning? His breath smells really good too. I don't trust this guy. I don't like it.

“How long you been working here?” I ask.

“A little while,” he states.

I wonder if that's what Joshua told him to say. If he was indeed Joshua's little pet then there was no way in hell I was going to get anything out of him.

“Is Keon around?” I ask, “I wanted to chat with him.”


“He actually left out.”


“Where?”


“He didn't say.”


“Is that usual for him?”


“What?”


“For him to dip out so fuckin' early. Keon wasn't a morning person before.”

“Well it's not a normal morning, huh?” Graph states, “I should probably head out and take the girls to their ballet lesson. Did you want anything while I was out?”


Graph wasn't from where we was from. He was much too well spoken. He must have been a model from like the valley or something. He was all polite and shit. He looked like he was the male version of those Kardashian girls.

I shake my head, “I'm good.”


Graph walks over to me. He walks too close. At first I think this motherfucker is going to KISS me when he leans into me. I even lean back a little bit unsure of where this is going. He stops short of touching me though and takes off his apron. He leans past me and hangs it on a hook that is hanging right behind me. I get a good whiff of his good scent and a close up of his strong, perky, perfect muscles. The nigga has hard fucking nipples. Hard nipples at 10 am in the morning. Who had hard nipples at this time.

“Let me know if there's anything I can do for you,” he tells me before taking a few steps back but not letting his eye linger off me, “Come on girls. Let's go to ballet.”


As soon as Graph leaves I can't help but to grab a big hold of my dick through my jeans. It's been a long fucking time and I definitely wanted sex. Graph looked like he had a huge dick too. I could only imagine it.

I consider actually going up stairs and beating my dick like it owed me something to prevent me from giving Graph exactly what he seemed like he wanted but just as I start heading up I notice someone headed down.

Joshua.

“Get dressed,” he states.

“Actually I was headed upstairs,” I state.

Joshua gives me a hard look, “Please. Get dressed, Jamison.”

“Where are we going?”


“You'll see...”


~

“Pick two...”


We are in a store. My brother is telling me to pick out tuxedos. It's not like Macy's or no shit like that. No. We were in one of those fancy ass motherfucking places where they give you champagne when you walk through the door and know you by your first name and last name.


“I can't afford this shit,” I state.

“I never said you were paying for it, did I?” Joshua asks.

I don't know if he's trying to be nice. He would need to do a lot better than buying me expensive suits if he thought I would just forgive him for stealing my man. I stand around the store as he sits, drinking his champagne. I look at all the different suits and honestly I don't know a damn thing about what I'm looking for but I'm too proud to ask Joshua to get his ass up and help me.

“People staring at me and shit,” I state.

There is this guy on the other side of the store. He's a real handsome looking guy but I don't get the full look of him because he just stares at me quickly before starting to walk away. He probably realizes that I just got out of jail and never really been used to this kind of shit.

“Maybe he thinks you're cute,” Joshua states.

I know what Joshua is doing. It's not going to work.

“You guys doing well huh?” I ask him, “You and Keon.”

“We all are,” he tells me.

I sigh, “I don't see no money in my pocket.”


“Lawyers ain't free. Where you think your cut went?” Joshua asks.

“All of it?”


“Bro...unless you forgot I did invest all my money into the club,” he tells me, “I needed to make sure I got that back. Now that you out I'm not goin' to play you. Don't worry about it. Chill...”


Chill. That's what he tells me. Chill.

I feel like an argument is coming on but before I get the chance I realize that someone is walking into the store. I'm surprised when I see my sister walk into the store.

“JAMISON!”


Jamila looks...good. I watch as she reaches over and hugs me. The girl has never looked so good. She has on a designer dress, designer glasses and red bottom heels on. Her Michael Kors back dangles from her forearm like she grew up in Beverly Hills instead out South Central. She leans over and gives me a kiss on one cheek before giving me a kiss on the other cheek. She manages somehow to kiss me without actually fucking putting her lips on my cheek.

I don't get what part of the game is this?


“Jamila?” I ask.

I got to make sure someone didn't jump into my sister's body or something like that.

“I missed you bro...”


“I invited her over. Figured she could help you pick out the suit for the party.”


“What party?”


They look at each other.

“Keon didn't tell you this morning?” Joshua asks.

“He didn't tell me what?” I ask.

“Give me one second,” Joshua responds.

Joshua pulls out his phone at that moment and immediately starts heading out of the store. I can almost hear him raising his voice on someone on the other line before he gets out of the store. The look on Jamila's face as she takes champagne from the store person was priceless to say the least.

I glare at Jamila at that moment.

“What party?” I ask her.

“Maybe you should wait until Joshua gets back---”


“What the fuck are you? His flunky?” I ask my sister, “Damn girl. I just asked you a question...”


“The engagement party.”


“Engagement...”


My heart is racing.

“That's backwards as hell to have kids before the engagement party.”


“When they approached me about the kids it was kind of spare of the moment,” my sister states.

“Pause.”


I stop doing what I'm doing. I walk over to my sister. I get in her face. I feel so betrayed at this moment. I feel so fucking hurt.

“They didn't tell you I had the twins, huh?” she states shaking her head, “Goddam...did Keon tell you anything?”


“You delivered Keon's babies?”


“They wanted the baby to have both of their genes. I'm the only sister,” she explains, “Keon should have...”


“YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TOLD ME!”


I raise my voice at that moment. I can't fucking help it. I'm steaming. This bitch had some nerve to blame things on Keon as though she didn't have my contact information.

“Joshua didn't want me to say shit.”


“What you Joshua's puppet now?” I ask her, “Joshua the same one that gave you money to support your drug habit. I guess you happy now that he's back supporting whatever habits you got now.”


“I'm clean.”


“Girl I don't care,” I tell my sister, “You acting real brand new. All of ya'll stood around while Joshua stole Keon!”


Jamila pauses, “That's what this is about. Listen. I'm glad you out...or whatever. However. Let's make this clear while you over here getting loud with me like I'm your cellmate who stole your fuckin' toilet tissue. I didn't fuck Keon while you were in jail. You want to go off like some kind of felon you go off on Joshua.”

“Girl please...”


It's funny how she's out here calling me a felon and shit like she is some posh Malibu Barbie or something. I see right past all that shit. Since when did Jamila get a backbone? Maybe Joshua gave her a little bit of money to dress nice and get her hair done and get her in rehab. Maybe now she thought she was better than me or something...

“You ain't going to go off on Joshua, are you?” Jamila laughs, “I didn't think so.”


“You don't know what I'm going to do...” I warn her.

Jamila rolls her eyes, “You going to shoot him like you did, Daddy?”


“Wow.”


“Too soon?” Jamila asks.

“Why the fuck am I talking to you? Where's Joyous? He'd feel me. You changed...”


“Boy, I've adapted,” Jamila explains with this shady glare, “Shit changed in the last five years. You killed Daddy. Joshua took Keon. And you ain't gonna do shit about it. You know why? Cause Joshua has the purse now. So if I'm kissing his ass, I suggest you move over to the other cheek.”


Just at that moment Joshua walks back into the tuxedo shop. He walks in on Jamila and I staring each other down like we wanted to rip each other's heads off. I don't know what Joshua had done to Jamila but I didn't fucking like it. This wasn't the sister that I knew before. Jamila might have had her little childish ways but she never was straight up shady like she had just been.

~

I spend the day locked in my room. Lights off. Tearing the fuck up like a loser. Regardless of Jamila's change in personality, I knew that a lot of shit she was telling me was the truth. I don't want to leave but the only thing worse than going to Keon and Joshua's engagement party is if I decided NOT to go.

No. I had to go.

I start leaving the house and just as I leave I see him...Graph.

He's standing butt naked in the hallway.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” I ask him, “My nieces.”


“They are asleep...” he responds.

Graph is really naked in the hallway. I know my brother and Keon had gone to leave for the party early. I had my own car to get to the party and they knew that. They had left me in this house on purpose with Graph. Now I'm looking at him at the end of the hallway and before I know it Graph has his dick in his hand.

He takes a step towards me.

“Yo...what you doing man?”


“Playing with my dick....”


“Why are you playing with your dick?” I ask my nieces' babysitter.

Graph shrugs a little bit, “It feels good.”


“No. I mean why aren't you in your room playing with your dick...in private?” I ask him.

Graph is close to me right now. He is so goddam tall. His dick has gotten hard. It is just as big as I thought it would be. He slaps it in his open palm a few times. Plop. Plop.

“Let's stop pretending.”


“Pretending?”


“How do you say it in South Central? Stop fronting? Stop frauding. Let's keep it '100'. You want this dick and I want to give it to you.”


“Man I don't know what you're talking about. I got my brother's party to go to.”


I start walkign down the hall. I don't get far though. Before I know it Graph presses me up against the nearest wall. He presses his hard dick up against me. I give in before it starts feeling Graph pulling down my pants. I don't expect some pretty boy model to be as aggressive as he is but I have to admit I like it. I have to admit that I want it.

Maybe that's why I don't stop him when he pulls down my pants.

He spreads my cheeks up against the wall. He bends me over. My ass is poking out. His hands part my ass. His tongue enters my ass. It's warm, wet and slippery. He licks, slidding from my taint to my asshole to the smalls of my back. He makes sure he licks every spot.

“Fuck...” I find myself moaning.

“Keon told me you were good. He didn't tell me you were this good...” he whispers.

All of a sudden I'm disgusted. I'm beyond digusted.

“Stop...”


“Calm down man...”


“STOP!”


I push him away from me. I can't believe it. I was thinking Joshua may have been the one to put this Graph guy up to this but now I was realizing I was completely wrong.

It was Keon.

~

The engagement party is at the Marchioness. I wonder if Joshua did it on purpose. I wonder if he was waiting for me to get out. Supposedly this was planned for quite some time but there was no telling with Joshua. Did he want to shove this shit in my face? Did he think it was going to go down like that? I had been backstabbed and betrayed.

“Jamison is that you?”


I walk in and immediately I see a lady by the name of Lady Lucille. She gives me a big hug. Back in the hood she was the local Madame. Her girls used to range from strippers to straight up prostitutes. Seeing her now I don't know if she still runs that kind of business or if she elevated in the same way as Jamila did. I know a lot of the girls who are walking me into this place must be hers. I watch as they surround me like some sort of VIP, making me skip the line of strangers that my brother has invited out to his personal party.

In front of the club, Lady Lucille walks me through what looks like some sort of garden area. I feel like I'm walking into the Botanical Gardens instead of walking into a night club in South Central.

“This place is a lot...bigger than I thought,” I state as I walk in there.

“Your brother's been expanding,” she explains to me, “But you know I still owe you for hooking me up with this gig...”


My brother used to be freaked out back in the day before I went to jail with working with people like Lucille. The lady had something of a record I guess. She wasn't the cleanest person and neither were her girls. I guess the fact that he was still using her to staff the club let me know that it worked out for the best or something.

“Expanding how?” I ask.


“Your brothers a good business man.”


I give her a hard look, “Look at this place. Marble walls...diamond chandeliers. Three more extra dance floors that weren't in this bitch when I came in here. There is a goddam five deck parking lot just for this place out front. That used to a corner store out there. You mean to tell me all of this shit is legit?”


“Why don't you talk to Joshua?”


Lucille hated my brother. Had that changed in the past 5 years too?


“Lucille. You always kept it real. Like you said...remember who got you this gig in the first place.”


Lucille stops me. We are midway in the club. She gives me a look. I give her a look.

“I like you, Jamison,” Lucille states, “But I also know who writes my checks. So maybe you should go talk to your brother. But I'm glad you're home. Enjoy the night, love. I'll send my girls over if you need anything.”


Lucille walks away, taking her oversized gown with her as though she is still stuck in the goddam Prohibition days. I walk away from her and make my way to the bar feeling more frustrated then ever.

Something was going on here. I still hadn't fucking heard from Joyous and my brother Joshua was on some whole other shit.

Something weird was going on.

“Can I buy you a drink?” I hear a voice state.

I turn. It's a guy standing there. He's handsome. He's brown and looks like if Shemar Moore had a baby with Trey Songs. His eyes are chinky. His skin is this pretty camel tone. His lips are pink and he's tall. I swear he must be mixed with Asian or something. He is most definitely fine to say the least.

“You the dude from the tuxedo shop...”


“Weird concidence.”


“You following me?”


“What makes you say that?”


I pause, “Keon send you...”


He laughs a little bit. He's gorgeous. His teeth are so perfect that I think they are fake.

“I don't know what you talking about bro. I honestly don't,” he explains to me extending his hand, “My name's English Glover.”


“What kind of name is English?”


“The name my mom gave me,” he responds.

He doesn't sound uppity. He has a long tight taper haircut. It's long on top with natural curles and the side is closely cut. He has a neatly trimmed beard and diamond earrings in his ear. He sounds like he's from South Central but honestly I don't really recognize him at all. I was born and raised in South Central California. If he was from here then he had to have left a long time ago.

He's fine as fuck. Too fine and after all the shit going on with Graph I most definitely wasn't going to risk this shit. I turn away from English and I see Keon. Fine ass Keon. He's sitting up near the stage and seems to be talking to the DJ, who is also one of his homeboys from back in the day.

“I got to go do something man,” I tell English.

“Actually I was hoping that I can talk to you about something...”


“Maybe later.”


“It's important.”


“Can't be important if I don't know you man,” I respond.

I know I'm being rude. Never in my life had I been rude to a guy that looked all dapper and still hood like English. He was my type and that scared the fuck out of me. If Keon was going to try to distract me from how mad I was, I could tell he was getting better at it.


As I approach Keon I notice him trying to walk away from me.

“You avoiding me,” I state, cornering him.

Keon gives me a confused look.

“What? What are you talking about?” Keon asks.

“I'm talking about you avoiding me,” I tell him, “We need to talk.”


Keon looks nervous as fuck at that moment like a fucking deer stuck in headlights. He was good at sending Joshua to come fight his battles or telling some stranger how “good” I was but he couldn't come have this conversation with me myself.

“It's not a good time...clearly...”


“You are about to marry my brother. It's the only time,” I state, “You owe me an explanation on this shit, Keon. You really do.”


“Didn't Joshua talk to you about this already?”


“I want to hear it from you.”


“I figured Joshua.”


“You know I wasn't close to Joshua,” I respond to him at that moment, “I was close to you man. You hurt me.”


“I hurt you?” Keon asks me, “Listen. How many people did you cheat on me with when we were together? Brian? Shantelle? Weren't you bout to marry Shantelle?”


“That was the past...””

I was confused on my sexuality. My father was forcing me to be straight and marry for prestige. Shantelle was who that was. Brian was just the easy guy who I could fuck and not feel anything for. It was always different with Keon. Every time I was with Keon it was just...different... I loved him. We had been together for way too long to just pretend like it was nothing.

That was exactly what Keon was doing right now though.

“Right, Jamison. It was the past. And so were you and me,” Keon explains to me, “That was the past too...”


Keon telling me this hurts. The shit fucking hurts.

“Keon...”

“I'm not trying to be evil about this shit but a lot of shit happened when you are gone. A lot of shit with AK, Jamila, Joyous and Joshua. A lot of shit you missed. So sorry if I moved on man. And my fiance is waiting up for me man.”

Keon walks away at that point. I look up at the skybox where he is headed up. I notice Joshua has been looking down from the skybox this whole time watching us. He doesn't have an expression on his face. He doesn't need an expression.

Teh fact that Keon was running up there right now proves one thing and one thing only.

Joshua was winning.

For now...

~

I get a knock on the door the next morning.

“I'm sleeping in!”


“You have a visitor,” the person at the door tells me.

It's Graph. I go to the door and see Graph standing there. He is shirtless. He has nothing on but some little trunks.

“Really...”


“I'm taking the girls out for a swim. Maybe you can join us when you're done.”


I ignore him.

“You said I had a visitor.”


“Yeah, he's at the door.”


“My brother?” I ask.

“No...your brother's in the shower.”


“Not Joshua. I'm talking about Joyous.”


“I haven't met Joyous...it could be,” he states.

Strange. If Graph had indeed been working for Joshua then how the fuck was it possible that he hadn't met Joyous. I knew Joyous. There was no way in hell he would have stayed away for this long. Joyous felt like he had to control everything including other people's relationships.

I head to the door and I'm surprised when I see English Glover standing at my door.

“Yo...are you stalking me or something?” I ask.

“I have to talk to you,” he states.

“Bro...go the fuck away...”


I try to close the door but English puts a foot in the door. He stops it. I'm so confused. What the fuck was really going on here.

“I'm Shantelle's widower,” he tells me.

“Shantelle's widower?”

“Shantelle's dead.”


Shantelle was the girl I was going to marry. The girl I was going to marry a long time ago to hide the fact that I was gay.

I guess she did get married after all...

“I'm sorry to hear that,” I state.

“That's not why I'm here,” he tells me, “I'm here because you need to know something.”


“What? What could be that important?”


He points towards the car at that moment.

I see this little boy. The little boy is just standing there.

“You have a son,” English tells me.

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