Date: Thu, 26 Jan 2006 02:37:15 EST From: RitchChristopher@cs.com Subject: briarwood:briarwood-u-61 All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> "BRIARWOOD" Copyright Ritchris, 2005 aka "Whence Cometh My Help" Copyright Ritchris, 2003 Revised Version A dramatic saga by Ritch Christopher <><><><><> BOOK SIX "BRIARWOOD U" Chapter-Sixty-one <><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Jim didn't experience the guilt he had expected when he awoke the next morning in bed with his fair young Lochinvar. They had not merely had sex, he and Tom had made love and Tom had spent the rest of the night and early morning comforting Jim as a loyal mate would. "Mate?"...Somehow Jim had never thought of Tom in that term. "Lover?"..."Young lover?"...Perhaps, and yet... Nina had always been Jim's soulmate for life, or at least that's what he thought until Tom came into his life and opened up his hidden world to him. Jim lay in bed, watching Tom sleep on Nina's pillow. Tom needed a shave and maybe a haircut. Jim could almost see new lines on Tom's forehead, lines that had formed there in the past few days, what with Harm, with Sandy and Ray's deaths, Nina's accident, and the strain of having to cope with his and Jim's new relationship, the boy, or young man, had aged years in a matter of hours. Tom had not lost much of the tan on his smooth face. God, he was handsome! How could Jim ever believe that Tom could be his? Jim still doubted the truth of Tom's feelings toward him. Granted there was only slightly over ten years separating their ages, but that can be a whole generation of a barrier to most young people. Why would Tom possibly want him? Jim could understand, perhaps, why Tom would go to bed with Harm--Harm was Tom's age. They had more in common between them. At least they both had youth in common, if nothing else. Jim could also understand why Harm could fall for Tom so easily. Hell, Jim had done the same thing himself. Harm's reason for his jealousy was quite obvious. Was Jim jealous when Tom told him that he and Harm, and later, he and Ray, had had sex? After all, if Tom could leave Jim and hop into bed with the very next guy he sees at a fast-food restaurant, how could Jim ever learn to trust him in a long relationship. A long relationship?...Is that what Jim wanted? He had been in a nine year legal marital relationship with the most wonderful woman he'd ever known, and, suddenly, Jim had all but brushed her aside for, not only someone new, but something new, an entirely new lifestyle which he still couldn't accept fully. The word 'bisexual' kept popping to his mind. 'BI?' 'Sexual?'...Liking both sexes? Or liking sex with both genders? Most recently, Jim had heard a new politically correct phraseology...'married gay', replacing 'bisexual' for guys in his situation. Did he still love Nina as much? Of course! Nothing had changed his love for her! Did he really love Tom? Yes to that, too. Did he love them equally? Jim didn't know. Nina's and his love had grown over the years, but this new flight of fancy, this whimsical, whirlwind affair with Tom...was that real love? What if Jim DID have to decide between them? His physical love life with Nina had become stagnant, if nonexistent, whereas, the physical sex with Tom had rejuvenated him, seemingly almost to Tom's age of thinking. Jim wasn't near forty yet and already he had fallen into the woes of early middle age where it becomes necessary for all men to revitalize their lives, be it with hair coloring, a youthful haircut, hair transplants, new clothes from The Gap, CD recordings of Matchbox Twenty, joining a gym and building up the abs and upper arms, contact lenses, tooth caps, an earring, botox or collagen injections, a sports car, a Harley-Davidson...on and on...Jim used to laugh at his older peers when he saw them trying to "renew their unrenewable youth", as Stephen Sondheim had so aptly put it in dialogue in one of his songs. And now Jim was feeling the same thing at a much earlier age and for a different reason. He wanted to be Tom's age so as to be able to compete for him, if he had to, on a much younger level. God, why was Jim having all these thoughts just looking at his sleeping prince, when Jim's wife was lying unconscious in the ICU at Cole? Was this fair to Nina? Was there a line between being unfaithful and infidelity? If so, was it possible to straddle the line while trying to carry on two relationships? Jim quietly crawled out of bed and went down to his study to call the hospital. The nurse in ICU said that Cliff and Roger alternated taking turns, sitting at Nina's bedside all night. The nurse said she would go to Nina's bed and call whichever one of them was there to the phone to speak with him. Jim opened his bottom right desk drawer and found an opened pack of very old and very stale cigarettes and lit one. He coughed on the first puff as the tobacco was strong from age. "Hello?" Cliff answered. "Cliff?" "Hi, Jim. I was waiting for you to call. I knew that you needed the sleep and I didn't want to call and disturb you unless it was necessary." "I presume by your saying that that Nina's condition did not worsen during the night." "No, she rested quite well. A couple of times Roger and I saw her move her head from side to side and we thought maybe she was about to awaken." "Cliff, I don't know how to thank both of you for 'taking my place' at her side." "Don't try, Jim---all three of us love Nina, each in his own way and it was just as important that either Roger or I stay instead of you who needed to rest." "I need to thank you for that, too." "How did you sleep...or should I ask? Tom DID come over, didn't he?" "Yes, he spent the night." "Then I won't ask how much sleep you got, then." "Enough." "Good." "Cliff, I'm gonna make some coffee, fix some breakfast, clean up a bit, and I'll be over to relieve you so that YOU can get some rest too." "I did get some rest with Roger and me taking turns. However, priests are like doctors and firemen, we're on call 24/7. I'm used to only getting a couple of hours a night. Over the years, Roger and I have learned how to make quick sex seem to last a long time as the phone was constantly ringing to interrupt us with the needs of some parishioner." "And 'they', including I, love and appreciate you for it." "It's reciprocal, Jim." "I know. Listen, Cliff, I won't keep you on the phone. I'll just hurry with my chores here and see you within an hour. I have to call the dean and tell him I won't be in for my classes today." "I think he expects that, Jim. What about Tom? Is he coming to Cole with you?" "No, I'm gonna let him sleep. I might call Phil or Howie to come be with him, though." "Problem?" "Yes, kinda. This morning before we went to bed, we both saw Harm driving by my house several times." "My God, Jim, you don't think...?" "I don't know, Cliff, but I don't want to take any chances. I wish to God I could talk with Harm. The kid must be delirious with panic and fear. I doubt if he's slept in the past forty-eight hours. If I could just speak with him and calm him down, then maybe all of us could rest." "When I leave the hospital, Roger and I will do what we can to track him down, Jim. Maybe he'll talk with one of us." "As long as ONE of us gets to him before he cracks up or goes off the deep end and tries doing something stupid to himself or to someone else." "Tom couldn't make a connection between Harm and Nina's accident, could he?" "No, but at this point, we all have our suspicions. According to Tom, Harm was in the dorm with him when Nina wrecked." "That's a bit satisfying. At least he didn't force her off the road into the oncoming car that hit her." "Yes, thank God for that. But I still keep feeling that something..." "Don't worry, Jim, Nina will tell us all about it when she wakes up." "Yeah, I guess. Hey, I gotta go. See you soon." "OK, buddy, I'll be here waiting. Roger left a few minutes ago to see how Jay and Troy are holding down the fort." Jim severed the phone connection and called Dean Connelly, asking to be excused from his classes for the next few days. He agreed immediately and sent his best wishes to Nina for a speedy recovery. Next, Jim was able to reach Phil and asked him, if he could, to come over and spend some time with Tom. Phil said he would call Howie and they BOTH would be over ASAP. Jim made the coffee but skipped the breakfast. He didn't need to shower as he had had quite a few only hours earlier with Tom. Tom slept soundly while Jim dressed and made his way to the Cole Institute after Howie and Phil arrived. <><><><><><><><> Phil had sensed fear in the coach's voice when he called and asked if he and Howie would come to his house to be with Tom. Phil picked up Howie and as they drove, they began to piece things together...Sandy, that kid at Shoney's, Mrs. Kerr, Harm's disappearance, and both of them immediately thought that Harm had something to do with all three accidents. On the way to the coach's house, they saw Wylie doing his morning jog on the side of the road. They knew that there was always safety in numbers so without giving Wylie any of the details, they asked him to join them to go see Coach Kerr. If Harm HAD been responsible for any of the three, they wouldn't need the police. The three musketeers would take care of Harm by themselves! Their emotions ranged from disbelief to anger. After all, Nina had been like a second 'mom' to them; what the fuck did Harm have against her? Jim was at the door of his house waiting for them. "Thank you, boys, for coming on such short notice," Jim said to his three team members. "Coach, we're glad that you called us," Phil began, "but what the fuck is going on? It's all over the school that Harm caused Mrs. Kerr's crash! Is that true?" "No, Phil, we're not sure," Jim answered, "But the police are looking into the possibility that he might have upset her in some way." "Goddamn it!" Howie screamed at Phil. "I KNEW we should've stopped when we saw his car parked in front of this house the last night! I just wonder what the son of a bitch did to her." "You mean to say that you saw Harm at my house last night?" "Yes, sir, around nine o'clock--at least we saw his car" "You're sure?" "Hell, Coach, we know Harm's blue Mustang." "My God!!! Then there's no telling what he might have said to her! Jesus Christ! If he upset her or threatened her in some way...Oh JESUS! NO! THAT'S why she was driving around during 'Third Watch'. Either he scared her out of the house and she was running for safety or...Oh God!...maybe she thought he was out to get us...Tom and me!" Jim's voice showed his strain. "I KNEW something had upset her!!! All the pieces are falling in place now! That explains why she was driving between nine and ten at night. She could have had a panic attack, lost her breath, and driven straight into the car she hit." Jim's hands were shaking and every hair on the back of his neck was standing up. He was filled with a combination of hurt and rage. Tom, coming down the stairs in his boxer shorts just then, was stunned and embarrassed to see his three fellow players talking with Jim. He didn't know whether to run back to the bedroom and dress, or---Phil and Howie knew about him and the coach, but Wylie had no clue. Jim's mind was still racing when he noticed Tom. "Morning, Tom." "What's going on, guys?" Tom asked. "Tom, Harm might not have known about Nina's accident when he came to see you. He might be innocent of directly causing her death...but INDIRECTLY...he could have caused the whole thing to happen!" Jim all but screamed. "And WHAT did he say to you, Tom?" Howie asked hurriedly. "Not much...but he made some idle threats that there were a few things he wanted to talk to her about. That's why we don't think he's totally innocent concerning her accident." Jim said, trying to calm down Howie. "He KNEW about you and Coach, didn't he?" Howie continued. "Knew WHAT about the coach and Tom?" Wylie asked innocently, but obviously perplexed. "Oh, never mind, Wylie! You don't have to know everything!" Howie snapped at him. "You mean the coach...and Tom...? Holy shit!" Wylie said as the light bulb turned on above his head. "Will you shut the fuck up?" Howie warned. "But I had no idea..." Wylie persisted. "And you still don't!...GOT IT?" Howie doubled up his fist in Wylie's face. "Hey, guys," Jim pleaded, "please just calm down and I'll tell you as much as I can." Jim seated the three of them in the living room and related as many details as possible, leaving out any mention of the sex between Tom and him, Tom and Harm, or Tom and Ray. Phil and Howie could read between the lines while poor Wylie stayed in the dark about most of the narrative. The two athlete 'lovers' shook their heads in astonishment at what the coach was telling them, There was a long quiet pause when Jim finished his account of the dark events. Phil and Howie sat there trying to drink it all in, to separate the truth from the rumors they had heard on campus. It was the naiveté of Wylie that finally broke the silence. "Are you guys trying to say that Tom is gay?" "Yes, dummy, Tom is gay...and so are Phil and me! Do you think we were playacting when you used to score our sex?" "You're kidding?!!" Wylie exclaimed. "No! And if you say one goddamned word about it to ANYBODY, then the police will be looking for me after I pound the living shit out of you." Howie said, firmly. "Who else knows?" Wylie kept on. "Fuck! If you and Phil are really gay, then I'll bet everyone thinks I am, too...I mean---shit!! ...the way we always fool around in the shower...I thought you guys were just kidding around. Damn, if anybody knows about you two and they happened to see us jacking off together, they MUST think I'm gay, too. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I ain't no queer!" "Christ, Wylie! Get down off your cross! We need the wood to build you some toy alphabet blocks! No one said you were gay, asshole...and believe me, no one in his wildest imagination could ever think you were. You're too fucking dumb to be gay! You don't know what to do with your own dick, let alone, someone else's!" remarked Howie, again trying to shut Wylie up. "How could I have been so fucking stupid?" Wylie added. "You can't help what you are! Phil and I are gay, and you're stupid, so I guess that pretty well makes us even, but we're not here to talk about who's gay and who's stupid, we're here to try to find out what to do about Harm." Howie said, emphatically. "What CAN we do, Coach?" interjected Phil, trying to restore some semblance of order to their intrusive visit. "Nothing for now, boys." Jim replied. "Let's first let the police do their job. I MUST get to the hospital to check on Nina. I'm late as it is. However, if any of you see hide or hair of Harm, for God's sake, be careful and contact the proper authorities, whether it's the campus security or the police department," "I wish to hell I knew where to look for him," Phil added. "I thought we---the three of us, anyway---knew ALL his hiding places. Where do you suppose he goes at night? He MUST sleep and, well, hell!, he's got about the only light-blue Mustang in town." "It's the light-blue that blends in with the traffic." Wylie said, becoming more involved in the immediate matters. "Now, if it was red... well..." "Oh, so now you're an auto exterior decorator? Maybe you're gay, after all! Have you noticed Lonny, the mechanic, eyeing your crotch when he changes your oil?" Howie kidded. "Fuck, no!!" Wylie answered strongly. "Shit, man, how you ever gonna find out if your straight or gay if you keep turning down hits made on you?" "Lonny hit on me?" "Sure did, and you weren't even aware. As soon as you left, he got so upset, he cried and ran into the bathroom to jerk off." "Are you serious?", Wylie asked, wide-eyed. "No, asshole. Come on, Wylie, get with it! Tune into our station and find out what's going on." The bit of banter and humor took the edge off the conversation for a moment or two and Jim smiled, feeling as though the three were like his sons "Boys, I want to thank you for coming over." Jim said, calmly, "Heck, Coach, we'd have been hurt if you HADN'T asked us," Howie replied. "I mean Mrs. Kerr means a lot to us. She's always taking care of us...fixing us meals...or snacks while we watched the games here on Sunday afternoons." "You guys...Harm included...are like sons to her." Jim said, choking up slightly. "That's why it just don't make sense that Harm would want to hurt her!" Howie added. "Do you think it WAS because of his jealousy over you and Tom?" Phil asked. "We still can't be sure," Jim responded, "but for now, that's all we have to go on. Oh, by the way---don't you guys have afternoon classes?" They all replied with "Yeah." "Then you'd better get back to campus. I don't want any of you having to be benched due to a missed test or lecture." Jim said. "We'll see that that doesn't happen, Coach," Phil assured him. "Coach?" His voice softened. "Yes?" "Are you gonna be all right?" "I'll be fine." Jim said, smiling, "Just try to keep the team together...and do what Coach Waters and Coach Mansfield say. I talked with both of them this morning and all the new plays are in the book. We have a big game Friday night." "We'll win that one for Mrs. Kerr, Coach," Howie promised. "Thanks, guys. Now why don't the four of you go into the kitchen and make some breakfast, stay a while if you want to, and then this afternoon, go on back to your classes." "Will you be at practice this afternoon, Tom?" Before Tom could answer, Jim interrupted and answered for him. "I'm sure he will," Jim said, "It'll be good for him to get away from all this anxiety and drama...just as it'll be good for the rest of you." "Don't worry, Coach," Howie chimed in, "We'll look after Tom...If Harm comes within 100 yards of Tom...well, he's dead meat!" "Don't do anything crazy, Howie!" Jim warned. "We won't. I just wanted you to know that Tom is totally safe with us around him." "Thanks, guys, now scoot!" The three of them left Jim, first giving him a handshake, followed by a hearty hug. He paused before Tom. It didn't seem quite appropriate to kiss him in front of the other three even if two of them were already 'in the know', but there was still Wylie, so he gave Tom the same kind of hug only kissing him on his cheek, near his ear. "Be careful, babe," Jim whispered into Tom's ear. "I will." Tom echoed. Jim closed the door behind him, feeling pleased and relieved that he had his 'family' support. They were good boys and he loved them...Harm, too...but then that thought brought a frown to his face. The room fell silent when Jim left. Tom felt the embarrassment of being 'caught' coming from the coach's bedroom. Phil and Howie were OK with it, but Wylie remained in a daze over all that had just been revealed to him. Phil and Howie, Wylie's two best friends...gay? Not just horsing-around-in-the- shower, but actually...gay lovers? And the coach and Tom? Jesus! Wylie felt as if he had suddenly made a parachute landing into a combat zone where no one spoke his language. Phil relieved the tension by speaking. "Hey, bro, did you sleep well last night?" Phil asked Tom. "Yeah, I think I kinda overdid it a little, I slept longer than I normally do. I came over as soon as I heard about Ni..Mrs. Kerr, I didn't think the coach should be by himself. He needed a little football muscle to secure his safety." "You did the right thing, Tom. If Coach had called me, I'd've spent the night here with him myself!" Phil replied. "All right," Howie chimed in, "who wants to do the cooking?" He led the parade into the kitchen. "Don't look at me," Wylie said, "I ain't no woman." "CAN IT, WYLIE!" Phil warned. "What did you mean by that?" "What was it supposed to mean?" Wylie retorted. "all this 'gay business' is kinda making me sick to my stomach! I mean...fooling around in the locker room after practice is one thing, but I had no idea that you guys were serious!" "Bullshit, Wylie," Howie rebutted, "you touched as many dicks in the shower as we did and I didn't hear you squawking about that." "Yeah, but I was only kidding. You guys were playing for real." "What difference does it make?" "You mean when I only thought you were pretending to suck and butt fuck, you were actually doing it?" "Yes, Bozo, while you were watching and we kiss and hold each other, sleep together and make love all night." "Well, then, what am I supposed to do? Just sit back and watch or break off our friendships before someone gets the idea that I do that too?" "Look, Wylie, if it'll make you feel any better," Howie said, "pull down your pants and either Phil or I will blow you right here and then, see if you feel any differently." "NO WAY!" Realizations hit him suddenly! "And I jacked off with you in the shower for the last time, too!!" "Come on, guys," Tom broke in, "knock it off! If Wylie doesn't want to play gay games, no one says he has to. Wylie, don't worry, no one is going to do anything to you. Just remember that your two best friends didn't decide to become gay this morning. They've been YOUR friends even though they've been lovers for a long time. You liked them then, so why feel differently now?" "I don't know. It's just--well, I have to think about MY reputation." "You gotta GET a reputation first, Wylie, before you can worry about it!" Phil said. "Wylie?" Howie said. "Yeah?" "Can I ask you something, friend to friend?" "I suppose, yeah." "Have you ever even made it with a girl?" All eyes were on Wylie as he turned nine shades of red. "Shit! Of course I have!" Wylie sputtered. He sought refuge behind the kitchen table. "OK--with whom?" "Well....well, there was this girl I met in the train station last Christmas." "Yeah, and she had a big shiny red nose and was hitched to a sleigh. What was her name? Ruthie?" "Well, there was this other time at Bible camp." "Horseshit! The only sex you've had is when you were jerking Phil, Harm, or me in the shower." The mention of Harm's name brought the four guys back to reality and the seriousness of the moment. They stopped their arguing and looked at one another. "You guys didn't see Harm at all this morning around campus, did you?" Tom asked, seriously. "Listen, guys, I think I'd better not skip my early class. I'm not that hungry anyway, and, besides, I think that the two of you can take care of Tom if Harm comes by." Wylie suddenly said. "You're leaving?" Howie asked. "Yeah, I really gotta go." "You're not afraid to be with a bunch of queer faggots, are you, friend." Phil asked, suspiciously. "No, guys, that's not why I'm leaving. I just want to jog home and clear my head before I go to class." "You'll be at practice, won't you?" Tom asked. "Sure, I CAN'T miss that!" "Well, go on then," Phil said. Wylie headed toward the door. "Oh, Wylie?" Phil said, stopping him before he left. "Yeah?" "No hard feelings?" "Fuck, no!" "Then come give me a hug, just to prove it!" Wylie paused for a second then went to Phil and hugged him for all he was worth. "We love you, bro," Phil said, returning Wylie's embrace. "I'm sorry if you feel like we betrayed you, but Howie and I always felt if you or other members of the team found out about us, well, then..." "They'd act just the way I did?" Wylie finished Phil's sentence. Howie walked over to Phil and Wylie and joined in to make it a threesome hug as they always had during a team huddle. Tom was touched and joined them. There was a new bond between them in spite of all the years that Phil, Howie, and Wylie had been best friends. None of them wanted to interrupt the moment. It was special to each one. "Hey, guys, I gotta go," Wylie said, breaking up the huddle. He walked back to the door and turned back, facing his buddies. "Both of you were willing to give me blowjobs? I just might take you up on that!" He grinned, looking like the old Wylie. "Get the fuck out of here, John Holmes!" Phil exclaimed, laughing, as Wylie started to go out the door. "Who?" "The guy Linda Lovelace choked on in 'Deep Throat'!" "You think I'm built like John Holmes? WOW!" "Yeah, so don't trip on your dick while you're jogging. Maybe you ought to wrap the damned thing around your waist just to be safe." "Shit! There you go kidding me again...I thought you really meant it!" Wylie left. "Boy, that must have been a shocker for poor Wylie," Tom said. "I know," Phil replied, "but he'll come around. It won't break up our friendship." "Now, LET'S EAT!", Howie said, "I'm famished!" "You're like a baby bird, always wanting me to poke something down your throat." Phil said to his lover. "You don't look as if you've been under fed, either, THYLvester!" Howie retorted. The three of them had a good laugh to ease their tension and began getting breakfast foods from the refrigerator. Phil set the table with plates and silverware. Howie cooked a pan of sausage links and bacon, while Tom scrambled a dozen eggs. Soon they were at the table, eating the rewards of their culinary achievements. After a few minutes of food disappearing, Phil broke the silence, asking, "Tom, how is Coach doing under all this pressure, if you don't mind my asking?" "He was a bit undone when I arrived early this morning, but he took a shower, had a drink and began to settle down." "Did you two sleep together?" Phil asked, cautiously. "Well. yeah. He didn't want to be alone...and I didn't want him feel alone, either." "Tom, I know you must feel as if you're in a difficult situation. And from what I gather, you are. But I want you to know that Howie and I are here for you to offer you support, and anything else, for that matter." "Thanks, guys. You know for the past few years, I've been hopping from one school to another just trying to find friends like you." "Look no further...we're your friends for as long as you wanna stay!" "There's just one thing, Tom..." "What's that?" "Don't hurt him." "Who?" "Coach. Don't hurt him." "I won't. I couldn't." "Howie and I have been doing some talking and...we think he loves you." Tom didn't respond. He kept his eyes downcast, sipping his milk. "Do you love him, Tom?" "Of course I do, we all do. You know that!" Tom replied. "That's NOT what I meant, Tom." Tom looked directly at him. "I KNOW what you meant, Phil." "Well?" "Look, guys! What am I supposed to do? Sure, I love him. I love the hell out of him, but put yourself in my place. How can I truly tell him that when he's married to a woman that all three of us love as well? I can't hurt Mrs. Kerr, especially not now, after her ordeal she's going through. She's gonna need Jim if she gets better and he's gonna need to be with her. What am I supposed to do? Wait around and see what happens and hope for the best?...or the worst, whichever case might apply?" Phil realized he had touched Tom's raw spot and wanted to ease his pain. "Do you think Mrs. Kerr suspects anything's going on between you and the coach?" "Fuck, Phil, she knows everything, and she has, from the very beginning!" Tom blurted, beginning to cry. "Damn!" was all Howie could say, shaking his head. "It's bad enough to be locked in a triangular situation, but to have Harm out there somewhere, making threats and doing God knows what to make things worse....I don't know what to do!" Almost at the same time, Phil and Howie reached across the table, each taking one of Tom's hands and squeezing it. "I guess there's nothing ANY of us can do, Tom, until we find Harm and until we learn about Mrs. Kerr's condition." Phil and Wylie's hands touching Tom's gave him strength He felt the friendship he had needed, not for just this moment, but in all his troubled earlier years. He'd never had 'buddies' his age to care about him and he was aware of feeling a different kind of warmth, a warmth he had never known before. <><><><><><><><> Within the hour, true to his word, Jim was at the hospital to see Nina and relieve a very tired Cliff. The two men embraced as soon as they met outside Nina's room. "How is she, Cliff?" Tom asked. "She's still resting comfortably. She hasn't awakened yet, but Ed says it's only a matter of time, indicated by the normalcy of her vital signs. Physically, he says she's out of danger. The heart monitor hasn't noted any irregularity for the past eight hours and that's encouraging." "Thank God," Jim sighed. "Did you eat breakfast?" Cliff asked. "Just coffee." "Why don't you go in and see Nina and then the two of us can go downstairs and have breakfast together?" "That's the least I can do, Cliff, after all you've done for me, especially staying at her bedside as you did and Roger did." "I asked you to share breakfast, not deliver a thank you sermon!" Cliff smiled warmly, if tiredly. "Who's the priest here, anyway?" "Sorry---but you know how grateful I am, Cliff." "Well, if I know it, Roger knows it, and you know it, why should we bore ourselves with dull conversation?" Jim laughed and went in the room to Nina's bedside. The bruises and cuts on her face which were not bandaged had become more obvious during the night. There was a dark purple blotch over her right eye and another on her cheek. One of the nurses had taken the time to finger-comb her hair and apply just a dab of lipstick on her mouth for Nina's pride and appearance sake. Considering the severity of the auto accident and all the trauma that Nina had suffered, she looked quite good and peaceful, just as Jim had seen her sleep at home in their bed for nearly a decade. He leaned forward and kissed the 'unbruised' section of her forehead and whispered, "Good morning, darling." It seemed strange, he realized. He hadn't called her, 'darling' in years, but now appeared to be the appropriate time. He loved his wife, and always would. Nothing had changed in their love and relationship. It was just that a kid named Tom had come into their lives unexpectedly, and he knew he loved Tom, too. Jim paused at the door for one more look at Nina before going to meet Cliff in the Institute commissary. Cliff had taken a table for two and beckoned to Jim as he entered. "Come on over and have a seat!" Cliff called. Jim sat down and sighed. "Considering all things, Cliff, I think Nina looks pretty good." "Yes, considering..." "Cliff, you look totally exhausted." "Not really, with Roger relieving me. Despite appearances. I'm just glad I can't say the same about you. You must've rested well." "Yes, I did," Jim said, with a complacent smile. "No word yet about the whereabouts of Harm?" "No, and I'm really sorry. Until we can get to the bottom of all this, I WOULD like to talk with him. As with Phil, Howie, and Wylie, Nina and I have always cared a lot about Harm. He's just another of our 'sons', so to speak." "And, deep inside, you feel that he had nothing to do with Nina's accident?" "No, and I'm hoping and praying that I'm right. In my heart, I know he would never hurt Nina." "You didn't include yourself, Jim. Do you think he'd want to hurt you?" "I didn't think so---until last night, or rather, early this morning when Tom arrived at my house." "How so?" "Well, you know how college and high school kids will ass around with each other, all in fun?" "Sure, I'm not THAT old, Jim." Jim laughed. "I know, but you ARE younger than I...and that's something else I want to talk to you about. But anyway, Tom told me that he and Harm messed around a couple of times in the dorm." "Sex?" "Yes, but sex only, at least as far as Tom was concerned." "You're implying that Harm might have taken the sex more seriously?---that he might have expected more than just the physical involvement?" "Something like that. You see, Cliff, I did something very stupid. I hugged and kissed Tom in the locker room and, apparently, Harm saw us." "Oh, Jeez!" One of the student waiters interrupted to take Cliff and Jim's breakfast order. They both realized their lack of food and ordered eggs, toast, bacon, orange juice, and coffee. The boy left to get the coffee and turn the balance of the order in to the cook. "Now, Jim, you were saying...?" "Well, Howie and Phil saw us, too." "Wow, you ARE getting careless, Jim." "Well, the two of them thought nothing about it, really. They opened up to Tom and me, admitting that they're lovers, and have been for years. Your percentile about my team's sexual preferences are proving to be more than accurate." "And so, 'the plot thickens'..." "Then I found out that Harm came by to see Tom earlier last night, at almost the same time that Nina's accident took place, and Harm confronted Tom about seeing the two of us." "Uh oh." "Tom said he flew into a jealous rage, sort of like Glenn Close in 'Fatal Attraction'. It seems that Harm had mistaken their sex for a love relationship and had become obsessed with Tom. Sandy, the girl whose body they found on campus, had been in the room while Tom and Harm were carrying on a couple of nights before and somehow, there was a scuffle and Sandy hit her head accidentally when Harm tried to grab her." "So, in effect, Harm caused her accident death?" "But wait!... there's more!" "For God's sake, Jim!" "There was this kid, a waiter at Shoney's, who Tom tricked with." "Tom HAS been busy, hasn't he?" "We'll go into that later. But this kid, this waiter, was the victim of an auto accident on a slick road...It seems that his car might have been forced off the road into a tree as there were signs on his bumper having been hit by a car from the rear." "And...YOU suspect that it was Harm?" "I don't want to, Cliff, Harm implied to Tom that he had killed both Sandy and the boy." "Stretching this scenario to the limit, I suppose that it's occurred to you that one way to get revenge on you was through Nina." "Yes, only Harm was with Tom in his room, so he couldn't have possibly run her car into the other car." "Well, let's think the best, and let's not incriminate him yet." "That's what I've been trying to do all morning. The police are looking for him. I only wish I could find him and talk with him first. Fifteen minutes...that's all I'd need." "Well, there WILL be a team practice today, won't there?" "Yes, but I won't be there." "Maybe Harm KNOWS that you won't be there and he'll show up for practice as usual." "I hope you're right, Cliff. I think I'll go, but hide my car just in case. I'll lock my office and stay inside and hope he'll show up. I mean the kid has to be scared. He must feel like a refugee or an escaped convict with a 'bolo' on him." "It's just as Roger said to us, Jim. No one is guilty until the very last piece of evidence is revealed and all resources have been exhausted to prove one is or isn't innocent." "I love Harm, Cliff." "I know. You love all your guys. Roger and I are both huge fans and we see every week how your guys bust their butts for you on the field and off. Harm is one of the best centers I've ever seen. Roger says Harm's a natural to turn pro." "He's fantastic. In my opinion, he should go pro." "Perhaps he will, Jim. He's got you to guide him." The student waiter brought two cups of coffee, set them down, and left. "Now...you want to tell me more about you and Tom?" Cliff asked, stirring two packets of Equal into his coffee. "Tom and me?" Jim took a deep breath. "Cliff, God forgive me, but I love him." "Why, 'God forgive you'?" "I wouldn't have said that if it weren't for Nina." "If she hadn't wrecked, would you still be asking God to forgive you?" "I don't suppose so." "Then why should tragedy bring guilt? If love is real, it's there all the time and stays there, no matter what." Cliff said. "You have implied to me that Nina knew and accepted your feelings for Tom." "She does...or did." "And now, you're going to become the prodigal mate and return to her as the shamed, adulterous husband, pleading for forgiveness and casting aside your own happiness and Tom's?" "Something like that." "Jim, is that really being honest with her...or with yourself?" "I'm not sure." "Suppose Nina hadn't wrecked, where would yours and Tom's relationship have led?" "I'm not sure of that either. You know I love Nina." "Yes." "But I have this sense of guilt, as if I've betrayed her." "Jim, if you betrayed her, it was on her terms. She knew about it and loved you deeply enough to want to see you happy." "Even at her expense and the cost of our marriage?" "Jim, you came to see me last week and asked if a person could love two people equally at the same time?" "Yes." "And I listed the various types of love to you." "I remember." "All right, let's look at another supposition. Suppose that Nina became jealous of Tom and forbade you to see him again, or else she would leave you. What then?" "I don't know." "Then, let's go one step farther. Let's say Nina WANTED to leave you because she wanted you to be happy with Tom, or someone else?" "She would do that. I know." "You're also leaving out a major factor in your equation...Tom." "I know, and I feel equally guilty about that." "You've known Tom for only a month or so. Do you think the love between you is the real thing?" "To me, it is." "And Tom?" "He says he loves me." "Jim, let me paint a very dark picture on the canvas. Let's say that Nina was killed last night. How long would you wear your black armband and grieve before you started living a life with your new lover? A year? Two? Five? Would Tom wait that long?" "Probably not, I don't think I would. But, Cliff, there's the matter of my position as coach. I don't think I could hold my head up and wave a gay pride flag and announce to the world that I'm gay and had an affair with my quarterback! I'd be the laughing stock of the Conference." "Jim, I see your turmoil and I sympathize with your dilemma. I mean, how was I to know that if the church found out about Roger and me, that St. Genesius would accept me no matter what. If anything, Roger's and my honesty helped to make the church grow. People accepted us as we really are, just as I, the 'shepherd of my flock', accepted them as they are. It comes down to trust, belief, and acceptance. As long as you don't give people a reason NOT to accept you. I mean, as long as you don't flaunt your personal life, you just might find out that people will still love you for what they've always loved about you. And your critics? They're gonna always be there, no matter what you do. If you lose a game, it's always the coach's fault! It's time to replace him. Only those that really know you know the truth and know what you are and what you're capable of doing. Then everyone comes running to support you because you are who you are in their eyes." "God, I wish the whole world could hear you!" Jim sighed. "My life and the world's would be so wonderful." "That's nonsense, Jim, I only say what everyone already knows, deep inside. They're just afraid to confront the truth and accept it." The waiter brought their breakfast and they began to eat in silence. Cliff was physically tired from staying up all night. He didn't offer conversation because he wanted Jim to have time to mull over the things that had just been discussed and maybe make a few decisions. In turn, Jim was grateful to Cliff to allowing him the mental privacy. They finished their meal and Jim told Cliff he was going back to Nina's room to await her awakening. He also promised Cliff that he would call him if there was a change in her condition, favorable, or otherwise...hopefully it would be favorable. After refusing Jim's attempt to buy their breakfasts, he paid the bill, hugged Jim and headed out the door of the commissary to talk with Ed, and then, home to bed with Roger, after he had stopped by St. Genesius to peruse and adjust his schedule for the rest of the day. However, before he went out the door, Cliff turned and said, "Jim, would you like me to talk with Tom? Either alone or with you?" "I think I would like that, Cliff, preferably with Tom alone. I want you to get to know him better. I think you might have more insight into his and my relationship." "Have him call me, or just come by." "I will, Cliff, and tha..." "Don't say it! You've thanked me too much all ready. I'll stop by the church and light a candle for Nina." "Tha...Fine, Cliff, that's fine." Jim found his eyes misty, realizing how much he owed Cliff. Cliff smiled understandingly and left. Jim took the nearest elevator to the ICU floor. When he got to Nina's room, the nurse was feeding Nina breakfast, or at least, she was changing the IV. Nina was still sleeping soundly. Cliff stopped in Ed's office to see if he knew things concerning Nina's condition, Ed was keeping only to himself. "You tired, Cliff?" Ed asked. "A bit", he said. "I'm headed for home after I stop by the church." "Did Roger leave?" "He's waiting for me at home." "I was up to see Nina," Ed said. "And?" "She's fine, Cliff, PHYSICALLY, she's fine. I ran an EEG on her and I see no sign of brain damage. It's like she was in a phase of amnesia. There's no reason for her NOT to awaken. It's like she doesn't want to. Perhaps, in her subconscious, she's reliving the sight of the oncoming car...some kind of trauma she doesn't want to wake up and face." "There's a lot going on with her and Jim just now." "Anything you want to clue me in on as her doctor?" "Maybe I can't. You have a physician's confidentiality to consider and I have my sacred vow of silence, which amounts to the same thing, I guess." "But if what YOU know is put with what I know, maybe the two pieces will solve the entire puzzle." They stood looking at one another before laughing quietly. "Cliff, we're two peas in a pod. We think alike. Both our world's revolve around Roger Cole. Roger and I both have lovers who are priests...and in many cases the four of us can read one another's thoughts. I know damned well you know what Chris is thinking before he verbalizes it, just as I do. Roger knows what both you and I are thinking most of the time, but when it comes down to you and me revealing a client's secrets, we clam up tighter than a witness at a Mafia trial and then we can only guess what the other is concealing." They laughed even harder. Cliff replied, "You know that we'll tell each other what we can, only when we have permission to, and not before." "I know, goddammit! Why couldn't we be two cackling hens who gossip across the fence while we hang out the wash?" "Pardon me if I ruffled up your feathers a bit.," Cliff said. "Personally, I never lay an egg before noon." "Oh, before you go, I, or rather Roger, THEN I, had a call from Jeff in Mackintosh this morning." "Oh, and what did 'Mini-Me' have to say?" "There's this kid up in Mackintosh, a kid who came there from Alabama, looking for his brother." "Oh?" "Yes, and it seems that the brother HAD lived in Mackintosh and had died there, months ago." "And?" "Well, the kid has or had no place to go after learning about his brother's death and then, quite by accident, Johnny and Jeff, who had been housing the kid---I think the kid's name is Mike---at any rate, Mike tested positive for HIV and Jeff wanted to know if we could treat him here at Cole?" "You told Jeff, 'yes', of course." "Yes, you know I did. Jeff had talked with Ryan and Kyle about his living with them while he's being treated, but that's still up in the air." "You know we'll find a place for him, wherever it is. How old is he?" "Fifteen or sixteen." "Damn it!" Cliff exclaimed. "When are these kids going to learn the importance of condoms." "It wouldn't've mattered, Cliff. The boy was infected by his own brother, a year before." "Oh, my God. Was he raped?" "No, his brother just stopped by on his way to Mackintosh. He didn't say a word to Mike about his condition or why he was going to the hamlet. The two of them had 'brotherly sex'...probably just one time and then the brother left. A year goes by, the brother dies, and Mike winds up with HIV." "How serious is it?" Cliff asked. "Apparently, Johnny sent Mike's blood samples to us at Cole and we made the diagnosis. I called the lab as soon as I got here and at first glance, it would appear that Mike has full- blown AIDS." "That poor youngster. Heck, Ed, he can stay with Roger and me if he wants to, out of respect for Jeff." "I knew you would say that, but I wanted to tell you about it first. Who knows? Mike might not want to stay with you. Ryan and Kyle are closer to his age. After he meets them, he may want to stay with them, after all." "We'll just have to wait and see. Ed, I won't ask about yours, but how is Chris' love life with your spending so many hours here at the Institute." "About the same as mine before we got together...passing ships in the night, hugging pillows when one of us is not there and making mad love to a downy image covered with a satin pillow case." "By the way, did either or both of you watch the new Barbara Cook DVD Roger sent to your house?" "'Mostly Sondheim'?" "What did you think?" "You're right, she sings like the first soprano in an angelic choir. I loved it. It was a perfect marriage, her voice and Sondheim's songs. Chris absolutely flipped! He's loved her for years." "She's Roger's favorite." "Mine too, now." "I'll tell Roger." "Please do and thank him...oh, yeah, one more thing..." "Damn, you're just full of news this morning! "Jeff also mentioned there are these two guys in Mackintosh, Scott and Alan. Well, they've become a new 'couple' and want to come to Cole to be treated." "Hallelujah! Jeff is doing his job there." "Scott knows you." "Oh?" "He was the bartender at a club called 'The Powder Puff Pub'." "Scott? He's a wonderful guy and you'll find him extremely good looking when you examine him." "You saw him without his clothes?" "You don't have to. A guy can look into Scott's eyes and he'll fantasize about the rest of his body. I don't wonder Alan fell for him and decided that the two of them should seek treatment. They'll be a welcome addition to Briarwood--both of them!" "Then go home and call your 'Mini-you' and tell him that you gave your approval for Mike, Scott, and Alan. Jeff will be thrilled, I'm sure." "If I had my way, Jeff would get some huge transport trucks and haul the entire Mackintosh population to Cole!" "And that would make you happy!" "Don't play coy with me, it'd make you happy as well. There's so much we could do with the AIDS universe if the collective will of the victims would lead them to us. The vaccine is SO close, as you know, DOCTOR!" "Yes, FATHER, more people need to know how much advancement has been made." "It's too early for us to preach to the choir. I'm going home to call Jeff and then get some rest after I give my better half a quick roll in the hay.. What do you want for dinner? You might do the same for Chris." "I'll see if I can get my secretary to put that into my schedule." "I think I'll call Chris and tell him to turn down the sheets." "You wouldn't dare!" "Oh, wouldn't I?" <><><><><><><><><><><> Wylie jogged for eight or ten blocks after he left Coach Kerr's house. He hoped he hadn't hurt Phil's or Howie's feelings by his abrupt departure, but learning of their homosexuality had been a bit much for him to accept and comprehend all at once. "God, do they really suck each other and fuck each other's asses?" Wylie thought as he ran. The idea almost made him shudder. Jacking off and jacking with a teammate in the shower was one thing, but going to bed and spending a whole night, rubbing, touching, sucking, fucking..."Damn, I wonder if they kiss too? Surely not. Normal guys DON'T kiss. Only queers do! But then, if Phil and Howie are gay, doesn't that make them queer, too?" He couldn't believe that they had kept this secret from him. He'd spent the night at each of their houses and slept in the same bed with each of them individually, and he'd never so much as jerked off privately with either of them, let alone do other things! His immediate feelings were comprised of hurt, shock, and disgust. His two BEST friends??? And what about Coach Kerr?...and TOM! God, had the whole world suddenly gone nuts while Wylie had naively stood around and watched? Wylie jogged in place, letting the traffic go by before he crossed the street. A car stopped and tooted its horn once, quickly. Wylie looked and saw that it was a light-blue Mustang, driven by Harm. "Hey, Wyle!" Harm said. "Hey, Harm!" Wylie called back. There was a tinge of fear in his voice as he replied. "Whereya goin'?" "Home and then to class." "Wanna lift?" "Nah, I wanna jog. You know, cardio and all that." "Come on, get in!" Harm said. "I wanna talk with you." Wylie resisted the invitation at first, but since no one else had been able to talk with Harm, maybe he could find out the truth about the alleged charges, or accusations, made about Harm, and become the hero when Wylie learned it. "OK," Wylie said as he got in the passenger's side of Harm's car. "Where you been, Harm? Practically the whole town and campus have been looking for you!" "I needed to do some thinkin'," Harm said as he drove down Oak Street. "Now I need to do some talkin'. You got time to listen?" Harm was going to reveal the mysteries to Wylie and Wylie became eager and excited. "Sure, you know all us guys are like brothers! What you wanna say to me?" "Where are you comin' from? You been over at Coach's?" Wylie wasn't sure whether to reply in the affirmative, but if it meant getting to the real truth, what harm could it cause. "Yeah. Phil, Howie, and I went over to his house for breakfast. He was pretty shook up about Mrs. Kerr's accident." Wylie paused before continuing, "You DID hear about her accident, didn't you?" "Huh? Oh, yeah, I DID hear something on the radio." Harm said, nonchalantly. "Is...is she...is she gonna be OK?" "The coach was pretty encouraged by the news he got from the hospital this morning." "He didn't stay with her last night at the hospital?" "No, he came home to get some rest." "Was he alone when you guys got there this morning?" "Whaddya mean, Harm?" "I mean, did anybody spend the night with him? WAS HE ALONE???" Harm raised his voice and for the first time in their friendship, Wylie became afraid of his buddy. "I don't know, Harm. There could've been somebody there. We only went into the living room and the kitchen, so if he had guests, I don't know about it." "You're bullshitting me, Wylie. I seen Tom running over to his house early this morning, way before the sun came up." "You did?" "You know goddamned well I did. You know Tom was there and you seen him too! DON'T LIE TO ME, WYLIE!" "Harm, you're not gonna call me a liar. Stop the car! I wanna get out and jog home." Harm accelerated the car. "If you want out, you're gonna have to jump out. I ain't stoppin' until you tell me the truth and quit lyin'." "Harm, for God's sake, slow down! Slow down and I'll tell you anything you want to know." Harm did not slow down the car. He sped through the town of Briarwood at breakneck speed until the car was outside the city limits. "Where the fuck are we going, Harm?" "Some place where no one'll see us talkin'!" In spite of being a football player with a linebacker's strength and courage, Wylie was afraid, due to Harm's advantage of controlling the car. Harm turned down a dirt road which led to a pond where all the guys used to go skinny-dipping in the summer. Wylie hadn't seen it in years. The land had grown up with tall marsh grass and weeds. To Wylie, it resembled a jungle where one would expect crocodiles and boa constrictors. He hoped that someone would have seen him getting into Harm's car and called the Briarwood police. Maybe they were being followed by a S.W.A.T. team or something! Harm pulled his car as close to the water as possible. He opened his door and yelled, "Now, get out Wylie old boy! You and me is gonna do some talkin'" "I'm not afraid of you Harm, so stop ordering me around!" "I ain't orderin' you! I'm tellin' you! Now get out of the car!" "All right, if you'll calm down and talk sensibly with me." "OK. Let's go over to the big rock and sit." Harm pointed to the huge rock that at one time had been their boyhood diving platform. The two of them walked over and sat. "Harm?" "Yeah?" "Before you begin asking me questions, you wanna tell me what's going on?" Harm sat quietly and his eyes filled with tears before he spoke, almost in a whisper. "Wylie, my world is comin' to an end." "What do you mean, bro?" "Inside of three or four days, I met someone I cared about, I fell in love, I had sex, and thought I had found me a partner for life." He swallowed and paused. "Everything I've wanted my whole life." Wylie remained silent to let Harm go on with his monologue. "But then, I was betrayed by this person I loved...and because of it, I killed two people...one I barely knew and the other, I didn't know at all." "You did what? My God, Harm! How? Why?" "Jealousy! Just plain old green-eyed jealousy." "You caught this girl that you loved with two other people?" Harm was so smothered in his thoughts, he had not heard Wylie use the word, 'girl'. "Yes sir! And I was HURT! HURT! DID YOU HEAR ME? FUCKIN' HURT!" Once again, Wylie had seen his friend turn his calm into a rage that was full of hate and revenge. "You ever been in love, Wylie?" Harm asked, in an almost pleading tone. "No, Harm, I've never been in love with anyone. I mean, there are people that I love or care a lot about. You know, like Phil, Howie, and...you. But that's not the same thing, is it?" "Nope, it ain't!" Harm paused again. "You really mean that when you said you loved the three of us?" "Sure, as brothers...team mates! I thought you felt the same way about us." "I guess I did...kinda." Another long paused occurred. "Tell me, honestly, did you or did you not see Tom at Coach Kerr's house this morning?" "Uh...yes, I guess I did." "What was he wearin'? Be truthful, now." "A pair of boxers." "Then he DID go to bed there!" "I guess." Harm took a deep breath. "I'm gonna tell you somethin', Wylie, somethin' you're not gonna want to hear." "What's that?" "Tom and Coach Kerr are both queers!" "That's bullshit, Harm, and you know it. Coach is happily married to Mrs. Kerr. You know that!" "He may be married to Mrs. Kerr, but he's suckin' Tom's dick when she ain't lookin'!" "I'm sorry, Harm---I don't believe that! Tom's not a queer. He's as straight as I am. He's a football player and a quarterback!" "What would you say if I told you that Tom'd sucked my dick and I'd sucked his?" "I'd think you were hallucinating by not getting enough sleep. That's what I'd say." "Well, the truth is...we've both been suckin' each other in his room at the dorm." Wylie could believe everything that Harm was saying, but in no way could he let on as Harm continued. "But I...I was not enough for 'Mr. Touchdown'! He had to go somewhere else and suck other dicks. Mine didn't satisfy him." "Like who, Harm?" "This waiter at Shoney's and Coach Kerr, to name two." "You mean the waiter who was killed in the car crash?" "Yeah, only it was me who ran his car into a tree." "God damn! Harm, do you know what you're saying?" "Hell, yes! But who's gonna tell on me? You?" "It would be my word against yours, Harm. So why would I tell?" Harm turned and looked sternly at Wylie. "You ever sucked a dick, Wylie?" "No! Not ever and I never will! Why did you ask that, Harm?" "Cause I'm tired and horny and maybe I wanted to see if you really loved me like you said." "Harm, there's no man alive that I love enough to suck his dick." "Shit, Wylie, you've touched mine and I've touched yours. We've given each other handjobs, a blowjob is not that much different!" "It's a lot different if it comes to putting a dick in my mouth." "You mean you wouldn't help a horny friend out?" "No way! And I'll knock the shit out of you if you try to make me!" "Then I may just have to make you!" Harm stood up and walked over to the nearest tree and picked up a fallen branch and came back to Wylie, who was now standing on the rock. "Harm, put that down! Do you hear me? Don't come any closer or I'll hit you!" Harm ignored Wylie's warning and approached the rock. "HARM! I'M WARNING YOU! NOW, STOP!!!" Harm came nearer. There was an insane look in his tired red eyes. Wylie doubled his fist in readiness. "Hey, Wylie, have you ever been fucked in the ass?" They stood like knights about to joust, then Wylie drew back his fist to hit Harm in the jaw and Harm swung the large wooded branch toward Wylie's head. Their blows landed simultaneously. They both fell to the ground and lay there. A couple of minutes later, it was Harm who arose and walked toward his fallen buddy. <><><><><><><><> (To be continued in "Briarwood"---BOOK SIX--chapter-sixty-two.)