Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006 01:27:57 EST
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: briarwood:I-will-lift-up-mine-eyes-75

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.

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                                  "BRIARWOOD"
                              Copyright Ritchris, 2005

                          aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
                              Copyright Ritchris, 2003

                                Revised Version

                                A dramatic saga

                                      by

			        Ritch Christopher

                                  <><><><><>


		   	          BOOK SEVEN


                            "I WILL LIFT UP MINE EYES"

			      Chapter-Seventy-five


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	Since he was expecting no one to join him, Steve sat at the lunch
counter at Katie's. His mind was on instant playback, reliving the night
before at Motel 6. Though he had seldom felt anything about anyone's
feelings but his own, suddenly he hoped he hadn't hurt Noah. He realized
how disappointed Noah must have been from his failed seduction, but Steve
considered the alternative, the one that Johnny had so vividly painted
during their phone conversation. Had he given in to Noah's desires, would
he still feel like a man? Would Noah have been just another "notch" as
Johnny had suggested?

	Granted, the lights had been turned out when he held Noah, but was
his raging hard on brought about by Noah, or the just idea of being in bed
with another human being, preferably a woman? DEFINITELY a woman! he told
himself. He vowed he would never find himself in a similar situation with
his best friend's brother. No more "dates"! No more being alone with Noah!
Only with another person or group of guys.

	Randy entered Katie's, but he was not accompanied by Ty, as
usual. He saw Steve at the counter and sat in the elevated swinging stool
beside him.

	"Hey, bro," Randy said.

	"Hey! Where's your Siamese twin?"

	"Aw, his mom pitched a fit, claimin' that Ty never did anything
around the house to help her. So, he's payin' for his guilt by paintin' the
shutters on their house."

        "And you're not helpin' him?"

	"Fuck, no!" Randy exclaimed. "If my mom found out that I was
helping Ty's mom, she'd have me paintin' our whole house. I ain't ready to
do that, so Ty can paint his own fuckin' shutters."

	"Where's Wade?"

	"Who knows?"

	"Randy, can I ask you somethin'?"

	"Why not?"

	"Do you think Wade might be queer?"

	"You mean sexually?"

	"How else would I mean it?"

	"Oh, Wade's queer all right, but I don't think he likes guys. Why
do you ask?"

	"He's never dated a girl, or at least I've never even seen him look
at one."

	"If Wade's mother was your mother, you think you'd date girls?"

	"You know, every time you, Ty, Hal, and me used to jerk off when we
went skinny-dippin', Wade was never around."

	"Oh, he was around a couple of times."

	"When?"

	"A couple of times when we were floggin' our logs, just off the
creek bed, I seen him hidin' around a tree, lookin' at us. He didn't let on
and I didn't neither the next time I saw him."

	"He was watchin' us?"

	"Yep!"

	"Well, for Christ's sake, why didn't he join us? We weren't doin'
anything queer. Hell, everyone touched his own meat!"

	"I dunno. He's just shy about it."

	"You ever seen Wade naked?"

	"A few times at school in the locker room after gym. Why?"

	"Was his peter small?"

	"Hell, I don't know. Why do you ask?"

	"Well, the four of us ain't ashamed of the size of our boners, I
just thought if he was tiny, he might not want to show us what he hides."

	"Steve, JUST FOR YOU, the next time I see Wade naked, I'll run up
to him and measure him with a dollar bill. You know a dollar bill's six
inches long and if he's longer than that, I'll give you a full report."

	"Shit, I don't care how big his peter is and I don't WANT to
know. I was just curious why he stays to himself all the time. You know as
well as me, he pops a boner on Sunday mornin's, every time we talk about
our dates from the night before."

	"Well, maybe he don't have any girlie magazines at home to help him
get off. Our stories may be as close as he comes to porno. God knows, if
his mother found a "Playboy" under his bed, she'd have him down by the
creek being RE-baptized to wash away his sins in the Blood of the Lamb."

	"I guess you're right."

	"You know damn well I am."

	Katie came to the counter and took Randy's order--a double-cheese
burger, fries, and banana shake.

	"What did you do last night," Steve asked.

	"I picked up Minnie Frost and asked her out for 'seconds'."

	"Jesus! You gittin' serious over Minnie?"

	"Nope, I just liked what she done to me the first time."

	"Damn, what did she do? She didn't do nothin' special for me."

	"You've fucked her, too?"

	"Randy, how long have you and I been friends?"

	"Years and years."

	"How many girls can you name that I HAVEN'T fucked?"

	Randy thought for a few seconds. "None, least none that I can think
of."

	"Well, there you go!" Steve bragged. "Now what did Minnie do that
was so special."

	"Since you've already tested her waters, I'll tell you." Katie
brought a glass of water, a napkin, and a set of silverware and set it down
in front of Randy. He took the water, turned up the glass and drank the
entire contents. "Well, I took her out about a month ago, and we drove up
to Pine Hill and parked. We started kissin' and I started feelin' her
titties. One thing led to another, like always, and she took off her
sweater and brassiere and I went to workin' on her titties left and
right. Then I stuck my hand under her dress and started a little finger
fuckin' and I had this hangnail on my middle finger. I was hopin' it
wouldn't scratch her or somethin'. She got all wet and I pulled my finger
out, only my hangnail was like a fishhook, and I thought it had caught on a
bunch of her pubic hairs inside her. I tried to pry my finger free and it
wouldn't budge. I knew it was gonna hurt her, but I yanked my finger and it
was caught on this string attached to her tampon."

	"My God!" Steve laughed. "What did you do?"

	"When I pulled it up to take a look, it was danglin' and drippin'
blood all over my jeans and my car seat. I didn't know who was the most
embarrassed, me or Minnie. One thing for sure, I knew I wasn't gonna fuck
her that night! So I rolled down my window and flung it off to the ground."
Randy realized his water glass was empty and he reached for Steve's glass
and downed it, as well.

	"What happened next?"

	"Both of us just sat there, lookin' at one another and then she
broke out in a big laugh...So I laughed, too. Then she looked at me and
said somethin' strange."

	"What? Don't keep me in suspense."

	"She reared back on the seat, faced me and said, 'If you're worried
about that one, I have another hole or two you can fuck!'"

	"What did she mean?"

	"She was talkin' about her asshole, stupid!"

	"AW, NO!" Steve said, pounding his head on the counter. "YOU
DIDN'T?"

	"Like hell I didn't. I sure as shit did."

	"IN HER ASS?"

	"You mean with all the girls you've fucked, you've never fucked an
asshole?"

	"NEVER! I SWEAR!"

	"Well, you've been missin' a lot then."

	"Damn, Randy! Wasn't it messy?"

	"Not as messy as goin' inside a bleedin' pussy!"

	"I mean, didn't you get shit and stuff on your dick?"

	"I couldn't see. It was dark."

	"What was it like, dude?"

	"You, the stud of Hawthorne, are askin' me how a fuck feels?"

	"A fuck in the ass, yes!"

	"Man, it was tight...so tight, I didn't think I'd ever get inside
her. But once I did, it was like puttin' my dick in the finger of a tight
kid glove. I realized that I'd been goin' in the wrong holes all my life."

	Steve laughed with amazement. Sure, he was the stud of Hawthorne,
but Randy had gone into unexplored territory. Steve also knew that Hal must
not have tried this adventure or he would have heard about it long ago.

	"Did you take her back to Pine Hill?"

	"Oh, no! I wanted to make a full night of it, so I took her to
Motel 6, over in Greenport!"

	Steve's face turned white and he faked a cough, reaching for his
now-empty water glass which Randy had drained. Randy watched him carefully.

	"I thought that would get a rise out of you," Randy added.

	"What do you mean?"

	"You know how Motel 6 is built like a 'U'?"

	"I...yeah, I guess."

	"Well, me and Minnie were up on the second floor and our window
looked out over the courtyard."

	"Oh, yeah?"

	"Yeah, and as I stared to close the curtain, I seen Noah, goin'
into the room on the other side."

	"Noah?" Steve asked, trying to sound innocent. "Are you sure?"

	"Of course. That's when I looked down and seen his mom's car in the
parking lot."

	"Damn! Wonder what he was doin' there? You don't think he was
meetin' somebody there?"

	"You tell me, Steve."

	"What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean."

	"Hell, I didn't close the curtains. I just turned the lights out
and watched to see if he was meetin' anyone."

	"What about Minnie?"

	"Oh, I fucked her in the ass, all right, but I made her get up on
all fours so I could get to her ass better...and the whole time, I kept an
eye peeled on Noah's door."

	"Did you ever see anyone go into his room?"

	"About two hours later when I was on my third fuck, I saw someone
standin' outside Noah's door. The person knocked and Noah opened the door."

	"My God! Who was she?"

	"Quit the bullshit, Steve, you know who it was...and it wasn't a
SHE!"

	Steve was stunned and sat silently, peering into this empty
glass. He didn't know how to respond to Randy. Fortunately, Katie broke the
silence when she brought Randy's food to him.

	"Anything else, Randy?" Katie asked.

	"Some extra mustard and ketchup, please."

	"I'll get your mustard, but there's a bottle of ketchup on the
counter, right in front of you!"

	"Oh, sorry, I didn't see it. Steve, would you hand me the ketchup?"

	"Huh? Yeah, oh sure."

	Steve handed the bottle of Heinz to Randy and neither of them said
another word until Katie brought the mustard and left them.

	"So," Randy began again, "you wanna tell me why you met Noah at
Motel 6?"

	"Not really, but it was very innocent, I assure you."

	"Does Hal know that you met his brother?"

	"God, no! And I don't want him to know until I'm ready to tell him!
So keep your fuckin' mouth shut!"

	"Oh, I ain't sayin' nothin'. I just wondered if you'd tell me the
truth."

	"What truth?"

	"Well, shortly after you went inside, the lights went off in Noah's
room."

	"You could see that?"

	"Hell, man, that's Motel 6. The curtains are thinner than pair of
panties."

	"Did Minnie see me go in?"

	"Hell, no! She had her face and mouth buried in a pillow so no one
could hear her screamin'."

	"Did you tell her?"

	"What for? She's a cunt. She's not a buddy like you, Hal, and
Ty. I'd never rat on one of you guys."

	"Thank God for somethin', I guess." Steve said.

	"So--?  You gonna tell me or what?"

	"Aw, the kid had some trouble with his folks and I...I don't know
whether they threw him out of the house or if he just got mad and left."

	"And then? He called you, huh?"

	"Yeah, he called me."

	"And you hurried like the Lone Ranger to his rescue."

	"Well, not exactly."

	"And that explains why he was driving his mom's car and why he
turned the lights out in the motel room after you got there. Huh?"

	Steve realized he had lied himself into a corner...Mrs. Carson's
car AND the lights. He face flushed and he squirmed, sitting on the counter
stool.

	"Okay, Randy, you got me! What can I say that'll satisfy you?"

	"The truth."

	"I told you the truth but you won't believe me."

	"Ah, no! You told me half the truth. Now I wanna hear all of it!"

	"Or what?"

	"Maybe if Hal knew as much as I do, he might be able to get the
whole story."

	"You wouldn't dare!"

	"Oh, wouldn't I?"

	"Randy, I'll take you outside and beat the shit out of you if you
say one word to Hal."

	"Then you ARE hidin' somethin'! Somethin' DID happen."

	"No, nothin' happened. Somethin' ALMOST happened, but it didn't!"

	"Explain...!"

	"You know I've been spendin' quite a lot of time with Noah since he
got home."

	"As if none of us noticed, huh?"

	"The kid is havin' a hard time sortin' out his...his sexuality, I
guess you'd call it."

	"And he asked YOU to help him?"

	"Yes, he did."

	"Why not ask Hal, his brother?"

	"There were things he didn't want Hal to know about."

	"But he didn't mind talkin' to you about them?"

	"That's about the size of it."

	"So what happened? Why did the lights go out?"

	"OK, this is between you and me. I don't want Hal to know nothin'
about this."

	"I'm listenin'..."

	"Randy, Noah's got this schoolboy crush on me. He thinks he's gay."

	"Oh, and what happened after the lights went out? Did you
straighten his sexuality out for him?"

	"NO! For the last time, Noah and me did NOT have sex."

	"I wouldn't blame you if you did."

	"What's that supposed to mean?"

	"I mean, he's got the cutest butt I've ever seen on a guy."

	"When did you start lookin' at guys' asses?"

	"I look a lot. So does Ty."

	"My God! Do you know what you're sayin'?"

	"Sure."

	"Are you tryin' to say if YOU had been in my shoes, and Noah had
called you instead of me to come to the motel, you'd've had sex with him?"

	"If he was willin'."

	"Jesus! I'm sittin' and talkin' to you and I suddenly think I don't
even know you."

	"I'm Randy, one of your closest friends."

	"Are you sayin' you've had sex with a guy?"

	"Only Ty."

	"Now I know you're bullshittin' me."

	"Wanna ask him?"

	"You're serious?"

	"Yep!"

	"For how long?"

	"Since we were around fifteen or so...and every time one of us got
horny and couldn't find a piece of pussy handy!"

	"Does Hal know about this?"

	"Shit, no! Ty and I always thought you and Hal were gettin' it on,
the same as us, and neither of you said anything about it, so we didn't
either!"

	"NEVER! NOT ONE TIME!"

	"Yeah, sure."

	"Do you mean if I HAD had sex with Noah, it wouldn't have bothered
you? I mean, you wouldn't have thought me queer?"

	"No more than I'd expect you to call me queer."

	"Shit! Randy! I don't know what to say."

	"Well, did you or DIDN'T you get it on with Noah?"

	"I told you 'no', and that was the truth."

	"And the lights?"

	"Noah was confused and lonely. He wanted me to hold him."

	"Uh oh."

	"Why 'uh oh'?"

	"Hell, all the time Ty and I have been foolin' around, we never
just HELD one another. That's when the queer part sets in...you know, with
the huggin', kissin', and lovin'. Sounds to me like Noah loves you."

	"He said he did."

	"And what about you? Do you love him?"

	"Damn, Randy, I ain't no fruitcake. You know I'd never tell Noah or
ANY guy that I loved him."

	"I seem to recall you've never said that to a girl either."

	"That's different."

	"Why? Noah and your all harem have assholes to fuck, don't they?"

	"Fuckin' assholes seems to be YOUR specialty. I've never done it,
remember?"

	"If ALL he wants is for you to fuck him, then go ahead. I won't say
a word to Hal about it."

	"I don' WANT to fuck him."

	"Just HOLD him, huh?"

	"I only did it ONCE for a very short time."

	"Noah didn't kiss you, did he?"

	"NO!...Well, yes, when I first entered the door."

	"Did you smack the shit out of him?"

	"No, of course not!"

	"Then you must've liked it!"

	"No, I didn't."

	"You told me that you didn't tell him you loved him, but
inside... deep inside, do you feel love for him?"

	"I...I'm not sure, Randy."

	"Double, 'uh oh'. You LOVE him."

	"I didn't say that!"

	"Not out loud to me, you didn't. But if you could see the
expression on your face right now, you'd know that you do."

	"God, I can't let Hal see it, if it's that obvious."

	"Whacha gonna do about it, Steve?"

	"Well, first of all, I'm NOT gonna see him alone any more. I won't
let myself be trapped. I'll just ignore him the rest of the summer if I
have to until he goes back to military school."

	"You think you can do that?"

	"I've got to."

	"Okay, but I have a feelin' your dick's gonna be gettin' a lot of
solo action at night when you go to bed."

	"You don't know no such thing!"

	"Just wait and see! If I see you hobblin', comin' into Smiley's, I
know that either you've got blue balls or your dick is too sore to rub up
against your jeans when you try to walk!"

	"Shut up and finish your fuckin' cheeseburger."

	"I still say you're missin' out on a great tinge of
excitement. Just think of it! Think how tight Noah's ass will feel the
first time you go inside him."

	Randy's last remark caused some reaction in his jeans that Steve
could feel suddenly. He got up and stormed out of Katie's before Randy
could see the rising bulge.

	"I gotta go, Randy, and remember...keep your fuckin' mouth
shut. Don't say anything to Hal, to Ty, to Wade, to NOBODY!"

	"I was just thinkin' how funny it would be to see Wade's jeans
swell up if you told him you'd fucked Noah. It might open a few doors for
him."

	"Well, Wade'll never hear that from me...or YOU EITHER!"

	Steve left in a huff. Randy dipped his last fry into the catsup and
smiled as he watched Steve drive away.


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	Roger, looking at the reports on Ryan was still disturbed a week
after Harvey had given Ryan the tragic news of his diagnosis---advanced
Hodgkin's disease. Since Ryan hadn't come forward to tell Roger of his
illness, Roger was reluctant about calling Ryan He had tried to call Ryan
on two separate occasions to check on him and talk male chitchat to see if
Ryan might open up and that would give Roger a chance to talk to him to see
what Ryan had decided about the trip abroad and also to see if he had shared
his the fateful news with Kyle. Ryan either wasn't at home or he wasn't
accepting phone calls.

	Roger, not being a doctor, and no longer a priest. was not sealed by
the bounds of patient/physician/priest confidentiality but for some reason
Roger had not told Cliff. Again, Roger hoped that Ryan would tell Cliff even
if Ryan chose not to confide in him. With the many miracles that Roger saw
happening daily at Cole, he was sick to his stomach that there was nothing
his Institute or its staff could do for Ryan. Roger being Roger, could not
leave his work and his problems at the 'office', especially when this problem
concerned one of his Briarwood Boys. He truly cared.

	Often, Roger and Cliff would watch one of their favorite DVD's,
"Longtime Companion". Even though the movie didn't address the topic of
cancer or in Ryan's case, lymphoma, it was about AIDS. The final scene was
all but burned indelibly in Roger's mind. It was a dream sequence at the
beach where the leads, Campbell Scott, Stephen Caffrey, and Mary-Louise
Parker met and imagined how the world would be when threat of AIDS no
longer existed. The three of them saw all their dead friends assemble in a
celebration and then reality came back and the three of them were alone,
together on the beach. Cole Institute had cured hundreds of AIDS patients
and arrested the disease in thousands of others. But this was at Cole in
Briarwood, NOT in Africa, India, China, and all the other places where the
infected sometimes outnumbered the well ones.

	The fight to find an AIDS cure and to disseminate the need for
prevention remained a terrific struggle. The right-wingers, who seemed to
dominate the votes in the U.S. Congress, fought the cure and treatment,
feeling that these victims MUST die for the sinful ways that they led their
lives, not to mention the funds channeled into their campaign coffers by
the pharmaceutical companies. It was only after a few innocent 'Ryan
White's' became sick that the powers-that-be stopped and took notice of
what was happening around them and around the world. Straight men and women
had to find themselves HIV positive before action was taken...by then, it
was almost too late. Congress could propose a budget to spend billions of
dollars for weapons to destroy other nations, but only a few measly
millions were appropriated for elimination of a disease that could
eventually destroy all of civilization. With each passing day, thousands
more became HIV positive and were not even aware of it. They went their way
spreading the virus without knowing it.

	The movie, "KIDS", showed how one infected teenager could infect an
entire school, and yet the sex parties and weekend blowjobs which girls
felt obliged to give their boyfriends every weekend, continued. Parents
slowly became aware of their kids' sexual experimentation and looked the
other way, saying, "So what? We all engaged in some kind of sex when we
were their age." The main difference, the difference that they ignored, is
that AIDS and HIV were not major factors twenty years ago.

	When the screening of "Longtime Companion" finished, Roger and
Cliff usually sat quietly and wondered what the two of them could do that
they already hadn't done? The two of them were used to being quiet, each
letting the other have his own private thoughts. But tonight, Roger really
wanted to tell Cliff about Ryan, but sat on the fence of decision. Should
Roger share his distress with his 'longtime companion' and burden Cliff
even more than he was, especially since Cliff had assumed the added duties
at the church since Chris had departed on the trip with Ed?

	Roger had come home from the Institute feeling rather glum. He went
upstairs and drew a tub of hot water to relax in before going downstairs
for dinner. Jay had prepared a special meal for Roger and Cliff to satisfy
his guilt over his and Troy's absence from dinner. A road company of "The
Full Monty" was in town and Jay, naturally, had front row seats for him and
Troy.

	Cliff was already seated at the food-laden dining table when Roger
came down to join him. He walked behind Cliff's chair and placed a hand on
each of Cliff's shoulders and squeezed before lowering his head to kiss
Cliff.

	"Hi, my love," Roger said, tenderly.

	"Hi, sweetheart," Cliff replied. "Did the bath make you feel
better?"

	"A bit."

	"Roger, is something wrong? You've looked troubled all week, as if you
were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You remember what you
were told about becoming too stressed. You survived one stroke."

	"I'm just a bit tired, that's all."

	"Whatever it is that's bothering you seems more emotional than
physical."

	"I just have a lot on my mind. I'll be all right."

	"I think I can read your mind," Cliff said.

	"When was there ever a time when you COULDN'T?", he smiled
ruefully.

	"I...uh...Ryan came to see me today," Cliff said quietly, hoping it
might provide a chance to reveal that he was worried about Ryan and that was
the reason for Roger's despair.

	"Oh?"

	"He didn't come to confess. He wanted to have a long talk with me
in my study."

	"Oh?"

	"He told me the bad news, Roger. I realize you probably didn't want
to say anything about it for fear it would upset me. What he said was
outside the confessional, so I feel as if it's OK for me to talk to you
about it."

	"Did he tell you everything?"

	"He told me everything that Harvey said to him."

	"Then I guess you know the whole story."

	"He's terminal?"

	"I'm afraid so, Cliff."

	"There's nothing anyone can do?"

	"Harvey gave Ryan the only two options that he could prescribe and I
guess that you know, Ryan chose NOT to receive chemo or radiation."

	"That's what he said."

	"I...I feel so goddamned incompetent and helpless. I know I'm not
God, but then, I know that my staff at Cole is the best center for treatment
this side of divine intervention...and we're powerless. With ALL my money and
all the knowledge the Institute possesses, there's nothing we can do and it's
killing me, Cliff."

	"Not all our endeavors wind up as successful accomplishments. Sometimes
we fail, sometimes there's nothing else that can be done. Ryan's situation is
one of those."

	"Everyone must die, sometime or another--I know this. We all can't
live to be a hundred and dry up and blow away with a big gust of wind. But,
Ryan---! He's so young, so handsome, he's a good father and a faithful
husband to Kyle, he's one of our 'Boys'---why now?"

	"In all my years of theology and being a priest, I've never found
an answer to that. The biggest mystery of life is death. We go through
life, trying our best to live a godly life, hoping that, at the end, we'll
be rewarded. But I can't promise that to anyone. We live by faith and we
hope that there IS something better when we die, or at least a continuance. I
remember the long talks we had when you were sick and came close to dying?
Even after you'd met and studied with the Dalai Lama in Tibet,
you were convinced that dead meant 'dead'. You said, death was when a life
force leaves you. I remember one time when you killed a mosquito on your arm
and looked at the dead bug for a long while, wondering why it had stopped
living. What left the mosquito?--its soul? Our religion tries to convince
us that creatures other than man DON'T have souls, but you were adamant that
if a man was crushed by a falling building at the same time you swatted a
mosquito, there was no difference. The life force that left the mosquito
also left the man in the same manner."

	"But I didn't totally convince you of my theory, did I?"

	"Not really, but I have to admit what you said made perfectly
good sense to me."

	"Then how can you believe that and still preach lessons from the
Bible about heaven and hell?"

	"That's where faith comes to the rescue for the hopeless."

	"I know. That's how I felt...or at least, almost thought I felt when
I was a priest. But isn't that being hypocritical?"

	"No. Without hope a man is lost. It's hope that keeps the world
going; hope for happiness, for a mate, a better job, more money, a nice
house, a new car, peace, love, sex...and an afterlife. Without hope, we
might as well all sit home and starve to death in loneliness."

	"What hope does Ryan have, Cliff, from your viewpoint?"

	"He can hope that the remainder of his days with Kyle, Danny, and
Little Pete will be as happy as possible. He can hope that Kyle will raise
the kids to grow up and lead happy and successful lives. He can hope that
he'll leave a part of himself with them to help them be strong and continue
his work once he's gone."

	"Yes, but is that enough?"

	"Look at yourself, Rog. Look at what you do daily. Look at the
advancements you've made at Cole to benefit the rest of the world. You give
them hope every day."

	"Perhaps you're right. When I think I'll go nuts if I lose one more
patient, all I can think of is, I hope Cliff will be there for me when I
get home...and you are. You're MY hope, Cliff."

	"And you're MINE, Roger, always have been and always will be. We're
a team which I believe firmly that God unified, intending to unify, also,
medicine and spirituality to touch the thousands we see every day and to allow
us to share our hope with them."

	"You know I love you just as much as I did from the first time we
got together?" Roger said.

	"How could I forget? After God's, it's your love that keeps me
going through the day. Now, let's say a little prayer for Ryan, shall we?"


<><><><><><><><><>


	With his dad in the hospital, Jake invited Mike and Tom to his
house to use the full kitchen since Tom was going to prepare a big supper
for the three of them. Mike was still fascinated by the desert behind the
Malone house. He spotted a couple of jackrabbits and all but stumbled when
his right foot caught in what Jake called a prairie dog hole. Some of the
cacti were over 12 feet high with bright red blossoms. Jake warned Mike to
watch where he stepped and look for snakes, diamondbacks or sidewinders.
Tom remained in the kitchen cooking the meal while Mike and Jake scouted
the sandy wide-open space. Tom hoped against all hope that Mike wouldn't
find a snake or a wild animal and become attached to it. A desert varmint
was the last thing that they needed to house in their mobile home. Texas
plants were one thing, but animals? Perish the thought!

	Jake took an instant liking to Mike and Tom, but mostly he
connected with Mike, who was nearer Lee's age. Jake had felt an unwelcome
solitude, living in his house alone while his dad recuperated and his own
brother, Lee, lay in a Dallas hospital. Jake welcomed the company as well
as the full meal he anticipated. True to his word, Tom fried two chickens
and made mashed potatoes and green peas. He found a box of Bisquick in the
kitchen and baked a dozen biscuits and made gravy from the chicken
grease. The chicken was the best that Jake had ever tasted. It bothered him
to think that tomorrow evening's menu would be back to his chili
recipe. However, there were enough leftovers to last for two or three meals
for Jake after Mike and Tom left.

	"Jake, how long do you think you can stay here and make it on your
own?" Tom asked during the dinner conversation.

	"Long as I have to, I guess." Jake replied.

	"Jake, this might be premature, but suppose your dad had to go to a
convalescent home and wasn't well enough to come back home. What would you
do? Do you have any relatives?"

	"Only Lee and my dad."

	"How are you doing in school, being on your own?"

	"I'm passing. I'm still making 'C's' as I always did when Lee and
Dad were here. I HAVE to have a 'C' average to stay on the team."

	"What are you doing for money?"

	"I mow lawns and most everybody's been tippin' me real good knowing
that Dad's in the hospital. I promised I'd send money to Lee once I knew
where he was."

	"Lee's being provided for at present, Jake. He doesn't need your
money."

	"I'll just save it then."

	"Jake," Mike chimed in, "why don't you go to the grocery store and
buy some things other than cans of chili?"

	"Chili's the only thing I know how to cook."

	"Suppose Tom and I stay around for a few days and teach you how to
fix some easy meals?"

	"You mean, stay here?"

	"Yes."

	"I'd love it!" Jake said, excitedly. "Only, do you think I could
spend one night in your RV? Yours is the first one I've ever seen up
close."

	"I don't see why not? The thing's equipped to sleep eight."

	"You have satellite TV, don't you?"

	"Yes, with almost five-hundred channels."

	"We don't have a TV. Dad says it's sinful and would corrupt Lee
and me."

	"There are plenty of good programs, including lots of religious
channels if you'd like to watch one."

	"Heck, no! I don't need any more religion in my life!" Jake
hesitated for a second before saying, "Do you get any of---those adult
channels?"

	"Lots of them," Mike replied.

	"Would it be all right if I could watch one of 'em?"

	"There's no one here to tell you that you can't."

	"Boy!"

	"Just don't tell your dad."

	"Heck! I won't! He'd have a stroke for sure."

	Tom had thawed some fresh strawberries from the freezer in the RV
and had made strawberry shortcake for dessert, which was like a Christmas
present for Jake. He had seconds.

	When the meal was finished, Tom suggested that Mike take Jake to
the Winnebago to watch TV while he stayed inside the kitchen and cleaned
the dishes.

	"You want to get your pajamas before we go?" Mike asked him.

	"I don't have any. I sleep in my underwear or usually in the nude."

	"All right, let's go then."

	Mike and Jake went to the RV where Mike showed Jake his bed and the
two of them went into the living room area and switched on the huge panel
TV screen. Mike handed the TV remote control to Jake and said, "Here,
choose your own poison. Find whatever you want to watch."

	Within five minutes, Jake scanned through one hundred
channels. Jake couldn't believe that there were so many choices. He saw
things and heard music he'd never seen or heard in his life. Mike was
amused watching Jake surf channels, wondering when and if Jake would ever
stop to watch a full minute of any one program. Two hundred channels later,
Jake got to the "good stuff". Jake's eyes widened and almost popped out of
their sockets when he reached the Adam Channel. On the screen were two
naked women and one naked man. One woman was performing oral sex on the guy
while the other was probing his anus with a giant dildo. Mike thought that
he heard Jake gasp at first sight. He looked at him and Jake's lower jaw
had dropped with awe.

	"Is that what you wanted to watch?" Mike asked, hiding a smile.

	"What's she doing to him?" Jake asked, seemingly not having heard
Mike's question.

	"Which one?"

	"The naked woman on the left. What's she poking him with?"

	"That's called a dildo," Mike explained, delicately.

	"What does it do?"

	"It's shaped like a man's penis and usually made of rubber or hard
plastic."

	"But--but he's a man! Why is she putting a rubber penis up inside
him?"

	"She's...she's trying to get him to reach an orgasm."

	"In the rear end? Can she do that...I mean, can HE do that?"

	"Have you ever heard of a man's prostate?"

	"Cancer of the prostate, I have. Mr. Allison and Mr. Franklin, who
go to Dad's church, got it and died. You don't mean she's trying to give
him cancer on purpose, do you?"

	Mike laughed softly.

	"No, Jake, every man or boy has a prostate gland which regulates
several functions in a man's body, including the flow of his urine. It's
also important when a man climaxes. You see, when a man's prostate is
stimulated with an object like she has in her hand, it can cause a man to
ejaculate."

	"Good Lord! That's what queers do to each other, isn't it? No
wonder they stick their real things up there!"

	"Maybe we should change channels. You haven't seen Spice or Playboy
yet."

	Reluctantly, Jake pushed the remote several times until he came to
a picture of two men performing oral sex in a sixty-nine position.

	Mike was a bit embarrassed and said, "Go on to another one, Jake."

	"No! I wanna watch this."

	Since Mike had chosen to let Jake be program director and he didn't
want to make an issue of the gay sex being presented in front of them, he
didn't say a word to Jake. Mike assumed this would be a part of Jake's
education he'd probably never see again. Jake's eyes were glued to the TV
as he reached down to his crotch to try to disguise the erection he was
beginning to experience. Mike noticed Jake's hand and became a bit
suspicious since Jake had made no such adjustment in his trousers when the
two of them were watching the man and two women. Mike wondered to himself
if Jake was following in his brother's footsteps, being attracted to
man/man sex?

	Soon one man disconnected himself from the other's penis and turned
around to begin a three-minute segment of kissing and petting. Jake was
astounded by each new move the two porno stars made. The next scene
involved one of the men turning over on his stomach while the other put on
a condom and slowly entered between the other's firm buttocks. By this
time, Jake had a firm grip on his penis shrouded by his jeans and he was
squeezing it in a pulsating manner. Mike tried to ignore Jake's hand-jive
and pay attention to the movie but Jake began making noises in the back of
his throat and his breathing became heavier. Mike knew that Jake was
climaxing but was afraid to say anything. He didn't want to interrupt
Jake's pleasure, but at the same time, he could foresee an awkward
embarrassment that might occur between them after Jake finished his
orgasm. Mike hoped that Jake would be so preoccupied with the television
action that Jake wouldn't notice while Mike slipped into the kitchen area
to retrieve two Cokes from the fridge and to leave Jake alone with his
fantasy until he was finished.

	Mike remained by the refrigerator until he heard Jake's final moan
and sigh. Jake came out of his orgasmic stupor and was relieved to see that
Mike was nowhere in sight. He looked down at the wet spot on the crotch of
his jeans. The spot was too big for Jake to conceal with his hand. He
called out to Mike.

	"Mike?"

	"Yes, Jake?"

	"Can I use your bathroom?"

	"Sure, it's between the living room and the bedroom area on your
right."

	Jake stood up, hoping that none of the mess he had made would slide
down his leg and leave a larger stain on his trousers. Once inside the
bathroom, Jake quickly lowered his jeans and began cleaning himself. He
blotted his jeans with a towel after he had dowsed water on it. The water
ran through the material, only to make matters worse. He didn't know how he
would explain what had happened to Mike. He came back from the bathroom
holding a hand towel for cover.

	"It's seems...I...uh...splashed water on my pants while I was
washing my hands."

	Mike made no attempt to look at the now, large, wet area on Jake's
jeans.

	"That's OK," Mike assured him, then quickly added, "here, I got us
both a Coke and some chips."

	On the television screen, the two guys had been joined by four
others and all six were involved in a gangbang orgy. The scene caught
Jake's eye but he turned away and looked at Mike.

	"Mike, could we watch something else now?"

	"Seen enough of that channel?"

	"More than enough."

	"What would you like to watch next?"

	"Do you think we could find some Oriental martial-arts cartoons?"

	"Sure, I watch them all the time. Hentai or anime?"

	"What's the difference?"

	"One is erotic with lots of sex. The other is more about fighting."

	"Sex cartoons?"

	"Sure. Haven't you ever seen one?"

	"No, and I guess I'd better not if I want to sleep tonight. The
'fighting' ones will do."

	Mike clicked on channel 483 and there were two Japanese warlords
going at each other with three section nanchuks. Jake's attention was
absorbed once again. Mike handed a bottled Coke to Jake and the two of them
watched until Tom came into the RV to join them.

	"Hey guys!" Tom said.

	"Hi, sweetie...HI, TOM!" Mike said, trying to cover his faux pas.

	"Hi, Tom."

	"What's been going on?" Tom asked. "Did you find what you wanted to
watch?"

	"Yeah, and then some!"

	"What do you mean?"

	Mike made a gesture with his head to Tom and said, "Ixnay! I'll
explain later."

	Tom was curious but didn't press the subject from Mike's cue. The
three of them watched Japanese cartoons until ten o'clock.

	"You think you'd better turn in, Jake?" Tom suggested. "You have
school tomorrow."

	"Will you still be here when I get home?"

	"We'll be here or, at least, nearby. Mike and I might want to do
some exploring in the desert. Then I'll fix another big meal."

	"Wow! I'll hurry home as soon as possible." Jake said, excitedly.

	"Jake, how angry do you think your dad would be if someone bought
you a TV?"

	"The way he looks now, I don't think he'd ever notice. I've looked
at one down at Berman's pawn shop and almost bought a second-hand one with
my mowing money."

	"Forget the 'second-hand' one. How about a new one?" Tom said.

	"I couldn't afford it."

	"Maybe not, but WE could," Mike added.

	"How could I pay you back? You don't have a lawn I could mow."

	"It would be like a 'thank you' gift for inviting the two of us
into your home and showing me the desert," Mike said. "Where's the nearest
appliance store?"

	"There's a Western Auto on the main street."

	"I think I can find it!" Tom said, "Now you hurry to bed."

	Jake got up slowly and went down through the narrow hall to the
second bedroom compartment, and then he turned and went back into the
living room area.

	"What is it, Jake?" Tom asked.

	"Can I ask the both of you a question?"

	"Sure."

	"Tom, when you came in from the house, Mike, did...did I hear you
almost call Tom 'sweetheart'?"

	Mike was embarrassed by his verbal slip and looked to Tom for help.

	"Yes, Jake, that's what Mike calls me sometimes."

	"Are you two sweethearts?"

	"Do you mean, are we gay?" Tom said, "Well, then, yes, we are
gay. We're lovers."

	"I thought so," Jake replied, smiling. "I guess I hoped so."

	"Oh? Why, Jake?" Tom asked.

	"Because you two SHOULD be lovers or husbands or whatever you call
yourselves. You're both so nice and you seem to love each other."

	"And you don't have a problem with that?"

	"No. I think Lee's gay...and I've done some gay things with my best
friend, only Dad doesn't know. He'd kill me or run me off for sure."

	"Would you say your best friend is your boyfriend?"

	"I've never thought of him that way, but, yeah, I guess he is."

	"I think I know the answer, Jake, but has your Dad ever taught you
about safe sex?"

	"Heck, no!"

	"Do you know what it means to have safe sex, Jake?"

	"I learned something about it in gym class; how I'm supposed to use
a rubber if I have intercourse with some girl."

	"It's NOT just with girls, Jake. It's the same when you have
intercourse with men, too."

	"Like those guys on the TV?"

	Tom looked quizzically at Mike. "You...uh...watched male sex on TV
while I was washing dishes?"

	"I TOLD you I'd tell you about it later," Mike said to Tom.

	"Oh? Oh! Well, I see you must've surfed all five-hundred channels."

	"He didn't miss a one!" Mike said.

	"Well, now that your little secret is out in the open, is there
anything you want to ask Mike or me about what you saw?"

	"I have dozens of questions, but I'd like to wait until after
supper tomorrow night."

	"That's a very wise decision, Jake," Tom said, smiling warmly at
him. "Now, is there anything else before you go to bed?"

	"Would it be asking too much if I gave each of you a big hug before
I went to bed?"

	"You give us one, first, and then we'll give you one. Is that a
deal?"

	Jake slowly walked to Tom first and put his arms around Tom's neck
and squeezed it so hard, it was almost difficult for Tom to breathe. Tom,
in turn, put his arms around Jake's back and squeezed Jake even harder. This
act of physical acceptance gave Jake the courage to kiss Tom on the cheek. As
soon as the embrace was released, Jake turned to Mike and repeated the same
display of affection. Jake kissed Mike's cheek as well.

	"Thank you. Thank you both," Jake said simply. "It's been so long
since I got a hug. Lee left before I could even hug him. He and I didn't
hug much anyway. And with Dad, I've...I've never hugged him in my life."
Jake took another long look at his new friends and said, "I bet you two hug
each other a lot, don't you?"

	"Every chance we get," Jake told him.

	"Maybe I'll start hugging Jared, if he'll let me."

	"Who's Jared?"

	"He...he's my boyfriend!" Jake announced, lying, and scurried off
to bed, leaving Mike and Tom alone in the living room area.

	"What the hell did he watch?" Tom asked.

	"He saw EVERYTHING...and I did too."

	"What do you mean?"

	"I saw men doing things that you and I haven't tried---yet!"

	"Uh oh. I think I'd better disconnect the satellite and only allow
you to watch 'Spin and Marty' Disney DVD's."

	"I love 'Spin and Marty'!" Mike replied. "Did you ever wonder why
they spent so much time in the barn feeding the horses?"

	"No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me," Tom said, putting his arms
around Mike.

	"I'm not gonna tell you. I'm gonna show you," Mike replied, tasting
his lover's lips and squeezing his crotch at the same time.

	"I guess all we have to do is find a barn."

	"The barn is THIS way, Marty," Mike said, tugging at Tom to go to
THEIR bedroom area which had a door to cordon off from the rest of the
RV. Tom allowed Mike to take him to the room while Mike pretended to look
around the bed for a lost object.

	"What did you lose?"

	"I can't seem to find my spurs and riding crop."

	"GET IN BED and I'll ride you bareback...with a condom!"

	"That's an oxymoron, isn't it?"

	"Oh, shut up!"

	The two of them piled into bed and quietly made love while Jake did
the best he could to listen to the lovemaking down the hall.


<><><><><><>


	It was after 11:00 PM and Jeff and Johnny were watching the late
news when Little Roger began to cry. It only took two and one-half minutes
for Little Cliff to join in with a duet.

	"Your turn, Daddy," Jeff said to Johnny.

	"Since when? It was I who put them to bed and stayed until they
fell asleep," Johnny replied.

	"Yes, but it was I who changed their diapers last."

	"Okay, I give in," Johnny said, then called to the nursery, "Okay,
pee control is on its way."

	Johnny turned on a dim lamp in the boys' room and grabbed a couple
of Huggies to help alleviate the situation. Johnny changed the diapers
willingly because he knew that the next call for help would come between
two and three A.M., then it would be Jeff's turn. Johnny changed Roger
first and Cliff second. He turned them each on their stomachs and stood
between the two cribs, patting their bottoms gently and softly sang, "Go to
sleep little babies. Go to sleep little babies. When you wake, you'll pat a
patty cake and ride the jolly little pony." By the second chorus, both
twins felt secure and drifted off to sleep until the next pee time. Johnny
left the nursery door ajar a few inches when he returned to the den to join
Jeff.

	"Everything dry?" Jeff asked.

	"Dried, powdered, and patted."

	Johnny sat back down on the sofa next to Jeff and lay his head on
Jeff's lap while Jeff stroked Johnny's hair. They watched the weather
forecast from Montpelier and then the sports.

	"Any good movies on cable?" Johnny asked.

	"I don't know, but I'd rather hear about your conversation with
your cousin Steve on the phone."

	"Oh, that!"

	"I was in the kitchen and I wasn't eavesdropping but I thought I
heard you raising your voice to him."

	"I was, a bit, I guess. I was trying to verbally pound some sense
into his head, the way I should've done it, physically, years ago."

	"Was he giving you a hard time?"

	"No, he stopped doing that a long time ago. He was calling to ask
my advice."

	"What kind of advice, for Christ's sake?"

	"Steve's a looker...a real lady's man...a cock hound! He's fucked
everything that wears nylon panties in his hometown...probably in the whole
county."

	"Then why was he asking you for advice. Has he become infected with
the virus?"

	"God, let's hope not! There'd be more infected women in the
Carolinas than there are in all of Africa."

	"So?"

	"He's met this kid...a boy...his best friend's kid brother."

	"And?"

	"The kid thinks he's gay...and what's worse, he thinks he's in love
with Steve."

	"If Steve's the cocksman that you say he is, why should there be a
problem?"

	"Steve thinks he feels something for the boy. Steve thinks he might
be turning gay and he all but asked me if it would be all right if he took
the kid to bed."

	"Jesus! Steve's a horny bastard."

	"You can say that again!"

	"It must run in the family," Jeff chided. "I seem to recall I was
ALMOST a kid, the first time you took me to bed."

	"Yes, but you weren't a virgin!"

	"Sez who?"

	"Sez you! You told me about all the things that you and your
brother Alex did together before I met you."

	"All right, you win. But this kid in Hawthorne is a virgin?"

	"Yes, and I told Steve if he tried anything, just to find out what
gay sex was all about, he might ruin the kid for life. I told him that the
kid could become traumatized and try to commit suicide...and he should
leave the kid alone!"

	"How did Steve react when you told him that? Did he agree with you
or did he become angry?"

	"He said he would 'think about it'."

	"That doesn't sound very promising."

	"That's what I thought! However, he DID say he'd call me BEFORE he
decided to have sex."

	"Do you think he'll keep his word and call you?"

	Johnny sighed before answering. "I don't know, Jeff. I really don't
know."


<><><><><><><><>


	Early the next morning, Tom arose and went back into the Malone
house to fix a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, biscuits and
gravy, and a stack of flapjacks for starters, before Jake went to
school. Mike and Jake arrived just in time for the meal. Jake went to his
room and changed clothes for school. He ate his biggest breakfast ever and
thanked Tom before hopping on his bike and heading for first period
English.  Tom had seen the tears brimming in Jake's eyes.

	Tom and Mike sat at the table enjoying another cup of coffee.

	"So tell me about Jake and the porno channels," Tom said.

	"God, if you'd walked from the house ten minutes earlier, you would
have caused jerkus interruptus," Mike chuckled.

	"Don't tell me he jerked off in front of you?"

	"Well, yes and no."

	"What do you mean?"

	Mike took the next ten minutes describing the scenario of Jake and
the remote control. Whereas Mike couldn't laugh last night when it
happened, he took advantage of the situation in telling the story to Tom to
stop and laugh in between sentences or whenever he felt like it.

	"Good Lord, Mike, you practically corrupted the kid."

	"I wouldn't say that, but he got more sex education in fifteen
minutes than he ever would have gotten his whole life living with an
evangelical minister for a father. I might've saved him, but not the way
his dad tried to."

	"Are you up to going downtown to buy Jake a TV?" Tom asked

	"Does it matter if I spend more?"

	"Sweetheart, I told you, we've got more money than God. Buy
whatever you want. It's half yours."

	"I'm sorry, Tom, I can't get used to that."

	"What else do you want to buy?"

	"Look around this place. Jake has practically nothing...the same
way I used to live in Dothan."

	"What would you liked to've had, or rather, what would you like
Jake to have?"

	"In addition to the TV, I'd like to see him have a CD stereo, a
DVD/VHS player with lots of movies, maybe a microwave oven. How about a
freezer crammed full of frozen dinners?"

	"If you want Jake to have those things, we'll buy them...or rather,
YOU will. All the credit cards and the bank account are in both our
names. You can use them the same as I. Also, if you can think of anything
else, put it on your list. We'll buy that, too."

	"You mean it?"

	"Mike, darling, sweetheart, what's it gonna take to prove to you
that you and I are like one person? Whatever you want, I want it too, and
vice-versa."

	"So much has happened to me, I can't believe how wonderful life
is."

	"You're what's wonderful in my life," Tom said.

	Mike got up from the table and put his arms around Tom's neck and
kissed him, just as the phone rang.

	"You think we should answer it? I mean, some member of Reverend
Malone's congregation might think we're burglars or something," Mike said.

	"Mike, burglars DON'T answer phones?"

	"How do you know?"

	Tom gave Mike a swat on his bottom and got up to answer the phone.

	"I'll go pee while you see who it is."

	Mike left the kitchen and went to the bathroom.

	"Hello?"

	"Is this the Malone residence?" the voice asked.

	"Yes, it is."

	"Would you mind telling me to whom I'm speaking ?"

	"Tom Summerfield."

	"Is Jake Malone there?"

	"No, he's gone to school. Who's calling?"

	"My name is Vivien Chase, NURSE Vivien Chase at Memorial Hospital."

	"Is that the hospital where Reverend Malone is a patient?"

	"Yes, it is."

	"Were you calling to speak to Jake about his dad?"

	"Are you a relative?"

	"No, but I'm a close friend of Jake's...and Lee's."

	"Is Lee there?"

	"No, I'm afraid he's out of town."

	"That's what I heard," the voice continued.

	"Nurse Chase, is something wrong. Has the Reverend taken a turn for
the worst?"

	"Mr. Summerfield, I was calling Jake to tell him that his father
passed away during the night."

	"My God! Is there anything I can do?"

	"Since you're a friend of Jake's, maybe you could go to his school
and break the news gently to him about his dad."

	"Should I bring him to the hospital?"

	"That would be nice. I'm sure the doctor would like to speak to
Jake."

	"I'll do that. Thanks for calling, Ms. Chase."

	"Thank you, Mr. Summerfield. I'm sorry."

	"That's all right."

	Mike bounced into the kitchen.

	"Ready to go shopping?"

	"No, Mike, we've had a change in our plan."

	"Oh, you look worried? What's wrong?"

	"It seems we have inherited a problem!"


<><><><><><><><>


(To be continued in "Briarwood"---BOOK SEVEN--chapter--seventy-six.)