Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 00:15:33 EST
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: briarwood:i-will-lift-up-mine-eyes-76

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.

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                                  "BRIARWOOD"
                              Copyright Ritchris, 2005

                          aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
                              Copyright Ritchris, 2003

                                Revised Version

                                A dramatic saga

                                      by

			        Ritch Christopher

                                  <><><><><>


		   	          BOOK SEVEN


                            "I WILL LIFT UP MINE EYES"

			      Chapter-Seventy-six


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	To Noah, it appeared he had succeeded in fooling his parents and
Hal in concealing his whereabouts the night before. He convinced all of
them that he had had a nice reunion with his classmate and his classmate's
parents. Only Steve knew where he'd really been and his motive for a
clandestine meeting in Greenport, or at least so he thought, as he had no
idea that Randy had seen him and Steve at Motel 6. Since his classmate and
his parents had "left", there was no reason to ever mention it again to
anyone.

	Even though Noah knew that Steve was straight and had rebuffed
Noah's several gay advances, Noah did not give up hope. Steve was willing
to go just so far. After all, Steve had not hit him when he kissed him and
Steve DID hold him in bed with the lights off. These gestures only
encouraged Noah that "next time", he could go even further.  Steve DID get
an erection. That was cause for a mild celebration as far as Noah was
concerned.

	Steve didn't know whether to be embarrassed or angry at being
"caught" by Randy. He felt sure that Randy wouldn't divulge his secret to
Hal and, hopefully, not to Ty. At the same time, Steve was still surprised
to learn that Randy and Ty had fooled around together. The two of them had
maintained their secret relationship and had hidden their sexual activity
from everyone. Steve was also in shock at how Randy had openly told of his
and Ty's homosexual activities with no qualms or reluctance. Apparently Hal
had no idea of what Randy and Ty were doing and had done. He surely would
have mentioned it to his best friend, Steve.

	Steve always felt that his and Hal's friendship was stronger and
deeper than Randy's and Ty's. Why hadn't he and Hal ever ventured into the
world of best friend or brotherly eroticism or mutual pleasure? They loved
one another enough to be blood brothers and yet Randy and Ty had gone
further than Steve ever imagined going with Hal. The closest Hal and Steve
had ever come to a sexual experience was back in high school when the two
of them had sex with the same girl on the same night. Several times when
Hal had gone first, Steve would slide his penis into the girl where Hal had
just been and felt Hal's warm semen still inside the girl's pussy. This
warm, wet feeling had aroused Steve even more, but he credited that feeling
to the girl and not to his best friend's hot sperm.

	All the way home from the Motel 6 in Greenport, Steve had replayed
his conversation with Johnny in his mind. Johnny would be proud of him for
refusing sex with Noah, but was Steve proud of himself? Noah was a willing
partner and it would have been so easy for Steve to enjoy a good blowjob or
his first attempt at anal sex. No one would have known...except for Noah
and himself, who would never tell. But then, carelessly, Steve had allowed
Randy to catch him.

	Steve also envisioned how he felt just holding Noah. The kid was so
romantic and Noah cradled in his arms so wonderfully. Was it the fact that
this was something new? Steve had held hundreds of girls in his arms, but
never a boy. His erection remained taut in his jeans until he got home and
he found himself masturbating, using Noah as his fantasy. Steve did not
understand what was happening to him. Johnny told him that a person didn't
"become" gay. One had to be born with the traits. How in hell could he have
suppressed gay thoughts his entire life if he had been born that way? None
of it made sense. What was even worse...Noah had picked up on Steve's
attraction to him. Had anyone else? Had Hal? Had his parents? Of course
not...not with his track record of female conquests!

	Noah arrived home from Greenport around 9:00 AM. His parents
weren't in sight, so he slipped into his bedroom to find Hal still
asleep. After Steve left him in the motel, Noah had stayed awake most of
the night dreaming of what might have happened and hadn't slept too much,
so he decided to take off his clothes and nap until noon unless he was
disturbed. Noah removed his shoes, socks, and shirt with only his pants to
go, when Hal turned over in his bed and began to wake up.

	"Just gettin' in, sport?" Hal asked, yawning widely.

	"Yeah."

	"How was your buddy?"

	"Fine."

	"You two anxious to get back to school in the fall?"

	"Uh...we're...well, yes and no. No one's ever glad to get back to
school."

	Hal threw back his covers to reveal his morning wood, which
immediately drew Noah's attention. Hal noticed Noah's eyes and instantly
put his hand over his erection to hide it.

	"Sorry about that, but I gotta pee."

	"I'm sorry that I stared," Noah said, continuing to take off his
trousers.

	Hal could feel Noah watching him as he crossed the room naked and
went down the hall to the bathroom. Noah got into his bed and hid his
nakedness. A few minutes later, Hal returned with a flaccid penis.

	"Aren't you kinda brave walkin' down the hall naked?" Noah
asked. "I mean, I didn't know that you walked around that way with Momma
and Dad in the house."

	"Oh, they aren't here. Momma wanted Dad to take her to the curb
market real early and buy some fresh vegetables before they got picked
over."

	"I didn't think you had become that open while I was away at
school."

	"I haven't. As you well know, I hardly ever let you see me naked,
let alone with a morning hard on."

	"I think that was the first time," Noah said.

	"Wonder why, after being brothers all these years? Hal, Randy,
Ty...hell, we've all seen each other naked...but not my own brother. Come
to think of it, I've never seen you completely naked either."

	"We've...we've always respected the other's privacy, I guess," Noah
said. "Where did you go last night?"

	"Carolyn's."

	"You're getting pretty sweet on her, aren't you?"

	"Yeah, I guess," Hal, replied, getting back into his own bed and
pulling up the covers.

	"Serious?"

	"Kinda."

	"You...you going to marry her?"

	"Thinkin' about it!"

	"You're kidding!"

	"Nope."

	"Why Carolyn? She's certainly not the prettiest or the nicest girl
you've dated. Why do you think she would make you a good wife?"

	Hal sighed. "I guess we're not really close brothers if we can't
tell each other our secrets, are we? Hell, we sleep in the same room. We're
embarrassed to see one another naked. Me and my friends have all jerked off
in front of one another and my own brother just saw me hard for the first
time!"

	"What are you getting at, Hal?"

	"Shit! We might as well start now, trustin' one another."

	"You got a secret, Hal?"

	"Yeah, Steve knows about it, but none of my family does."

	"You gonna tell me?"

	"Why not? Noah, Carolyn is pregnant!"

	"Good Lord! Is it yours?"

	"Yes, goddammit! But don't go tellin' Momma and Dad."

	"I won't! I promise. But what are you gonna do about it?"

	"I want her to have the baby! Since the kid is mine, I want it,
even if I have to marry her."

	"Jesus!"

	"I know."

	"What does Carolyn say about it?"

	"She wants to get an abortion."

	"So what are you gonna do?"

	"We're still arguin' about it. I went to see her last night and she
carried on somethin' awful...cryin', screamin', and hollerin`. Noah, take
it from me and be very, very careful when you start havin' sex with girls."

	"I...I will."

	"You haven't yet, have you?"

	"No."

	"Well, be careful when you do is all I have to say."

	"I hope I never have that problem."

	"Noah, since we're bein' open with each other for the first time,
can I ask you somethin'?"

	"I suppose."

	"I hope this doesn't embarrass you or get you mad at me, but what's
goin' on between you and Steve?"

	Noah couldn't help it that his face was turning red.

	"What do you mean, Hal?"

	"You going out with him alone for two straight nights...and the way
you look at him. Somethin's goin' on...at least on your part. I don't think
Steve has any idea about it."

	"Hal, can I trust you not to say anything to Momma and Dad, the way
you just asked me?"

	"It's about time we became brothers and opened up! Hell, no, I
won't say anything, after what I just told you about Carolyn and me."

	"Hal, don't get angry or hit me...but I think I'm gay."

	"I figgered as much."

	"Am I that obvious? Do you think Momma and Dad think it too?"

	"No, they haven't seen you when you were around Steve...but just
where does Steve fit into all this? I sure as hell know that he's not gay!"

	"Hal, I think I love him."

	"I figgered that out, too."

	"How?"

	"I heard you say it in your sleep."

	"Oh, my gosh!"

	"It's OK. I'm the only one who heard you. But you still haven't
answered how Steve fits into the picture."

	"Hal, Steve met me at the Motel 6 last night."

	"He what?!!! Let me get this straight! Steve Jarvis, my best
friend, met my own brother at a motel? What for, for Christ's sake?"

	"I...I wanted him to have sex with me."

	"You what?!!!"

	"I tricked him and lured him down to Greenport to meet me there. He
thought I'd had a fight at home and had gone there to get away from
here. He had no idea what I was planning to do."

	"So what happened?"

	"Nothing."

	"Nothing? Well, thank God for that! Noah, have you gone insane?
Did you think that the mighty cockhound of Hawthorne could have queer sex
with you?"

	"I was hoping."

	"So what did Steve do? Did he get mad and hit you?"

	"No. As a matter of fact, he took off most of his clothes and got
into the bed with me and held me."

	"You've GOT to be lyin', Noah. Steve would NEVER do that, unless he
was drunk or high on weed."

	"He was stone cold sober."

	"God damn! I'm sorry, but I don't believe you."

	"Please, Noah, please, don't mention it to him!"

	"You made me promise not to say anything to Momma or Dad, but you
sure as hell didn't mention me not askin' Steve about it."

	"Hal, it'll ruin EVERYTHING if you do."

	"What's there to ruin? Steve ain't no fuckin' queer. I'm sorry, I
shouldn't have said that, but Steve ain't gay, neither."

	For the second time, Hal threw off his covers and stood up. He
reached for the clothes he had worn the night before which he had strewn on
the easy chair in the bedroom and began to dress.

	Noah sat up in bed. "Hal, where are you going?"

	"Where else? I'm goin' to see Steve and get to the bottom of all
this."

	"Hal, I'm begging you! Please, DON'T!"

	"Noah, Steve and I have been best friends since before you were
born! There's never been anything queer or gay about him...and if there is,
I want to know why he's kept it from me all our lives. Jesus Christ! He's
fucked every girl in this whole county and never once, have I seen him
lookin' at a guy!"

	"Hal...PLEASE!"

	Hal was finished dressing and headed toward the door.

	"I'll be back!" Hal yelled angrily as he slammed the bedroom door.

	Noah's fear turned into tears as he buried his face in his pillow
and wept.


<><><><><><><><>


	Danny and Little Pete had just begun school and Kyle was somewhat
reluctant about taking them out to go on a whirlwind tour of Europe and to
other places to be designated after the tour started. However, the more
emphatic that Kyle's objections became, the more persuasive Ryan's
arguments were to pursue the trip. Kyle thought it best to travel through
Europe in the spring, not in the fall and the dead of winter.

	Ryan was intransigent with himself about not telling his lover about
his fatal diagnosis of stage-four Hodgkin's disease. He was unsure whether he
could hide his symptoms, nor did he know how sick he could become in the
few short months remaining of his life and loving relationship with Kyle.

	"Ryan, couldn't we wait until after Christmas?" Kyle persisted.

	"Kyle, that's almost four months away. Autumn in Paris would be
nice."

	"Vernon Duke wrote, 'April in Paris', not, 'October in Snowy
Paris'."

	"He wrote, 'Autumn in New York', and you know damned well that fall
is the best time to visit the Big Apple."

	"But the kids? I hate to take them out of school just when they're
finally settled with their new friends and teachers."

	"Kyle, I can arrange for a private tutor to keep them abreast of
their schoolwork. Their new friends and teachers will still be here,
waiting on them when we return."

	"I still say, 'no'."

	"And I still say, 'please'."

	"What's six months? They'll be a half a year older and maybe
they'll appreciate the trip more."

	"Kyle, please..."

	"What's all this urgency? You've never stressed taking a trip so
emphatically."

	"The time for happiness is now. When you go to bed at night, you
have no assurance that you won't die in your sleep. A man leaves his family
in the morning to go to work without the assurance that he won't be hit by
a car or he won't be in a building like the twin towers and be killed by a
terrorist flying a Boeing."

	"Jesus! Why all these doomsday scenarios? Neither of us has ever
talked this way before. Why now, all of a sudden?"

	"It's just that the future isn't as certain now as it used to be."

	"Ryan, are you hedging something? Is there something you're keeping
from me?"

	"Kyle, NO! I just want to take Danny and Pete on a trip now. Who
knows what's going to happen six months from now?"

	"You...uh, haven't been sleeping well lately, have you?" Kyle
asked, with a tinge of suspicion.

	"Of course I have!"

	"Ryan, you've gotten up several times during the night this past
week to go to the bathroom and when I touched your pillow, it was wet with
perspiration. You've been moping around and acting jittery. I also found
two new prescriptions in your bedside table drawer for pain pills. Dr.
Whitman's name was on the prescriptions."

	"Oh, that."

	"Yes, 'that'!"

	"I've...I've been having some lower back pain and I stopped by to
see Harvey and he gave me the prescriptions in case I needed them."

	"TWO DIFFERENT prescriptions for pain with a hundred pills in each
bottle? Harvey would never do that unless you were in extreme pain."

	"He...uh...gave me two different kinds in case one of them didn't
work."

	"Why haven't you mentioned back pain before? You know I'm always
happy to give you a massage, pain or no pain."

	"Yes, and you know where your massages always lead..."

	"So what? That's a sure-fire way of turning you on."

	"Kyle, I don't need a massage for you to turn me on. Just sleeping
beside you has always been enough...always has been and always will."

	"Ryan, in all the years we've been together, I've never lied to
you, nor you to me. Are you lying to me now?"

	"Not exactly."

	"Then there is some element of untruth in what you're saying to
me?"

	"Maybe...a little."

	"I know this is stupid to ask, but I will anyway. Ryan, are you
having an affair?"

	"Jesus, Kyle! Why ever would you ask that?"

	"This sudden insistence on going to Europe now. It's not like
you're hurrying to get there, it's more like you're trying to get away from
something."

	"Well, believe me, my love, I'm not having an affair."

	"Ryan, is it someone I know? Someone who goes to St. Genesius?"

	"Damn! You sound like you're tripping out on funny mushrooms with
your hallucinations and wild accusations."

	"You know if I were having an affair, I'd have the balls to tell
you so."

	"Kyle, you're beginning to make me angry."

	"I'm angry as hell over the fact you won't tell me what's
wrong...why you want to go on a trip now...why you're acting so strangely!"

	"Kyle, I don't want to continue this discussion."

	"I do. I need to know NOW!"

	"Well, you're getting no more info out of me."

	Ryan went to the closet in the foyer and got a jacket and put it
on.

	"Where are you going?" Ryan didn't respond.

	"Where to, Ryan, for God's sake?"

	Ryan opened the front door.

	"Maybe I'm gonna have to go to find out who 'I'm having an affair
with' and bring him home to meet you."

	Ryan went out the door, slamming it behind him.

	"RYAN!" Kyle shouted. "RYAN".

	The sounds of Ryan starting his car and pulling away, tires
screeching, drowned out Kyle's calls. Kyle stood at the door watching the
car disappear down the curve of the long driveway. Kyle felt alone and
afraid for the first time in years. He couldn't explain their quarrel and
neither could he understand the fear that had descended on
him. Someone... or something...had come between the two of them.


<><><><><><><><>


	Tom relayed the news from the hospital to Mike and the two of them
sat silently. Neither of them wanted to tell Jake about his father's
death. They had only met Jake less than 72 hours ago and yet, there was
already a bond formed among them. Tom knew that he could arrange Reverend
Malone's funeral, but after that? What would become of Jake? And then there
was Lee to think about. Should he come home to pay his last respect to his
dad? Would the hospital in Dallas allow him to leave his treatment? Would
Lee choose to stay home to live with Jake and let his recuperation fall by
the wayside and end up dying from AIDS? Jake would REALLY be alone if that
should happen.

	It was Mike who broke the silence. "Tom, you said that you and I
had just inherited a problem. What do 'you and I' want to do about it?"

	"I could say take him with us on our trip, but he might not want to
go...PLUS, I don't know if it's wise to take him out of school, away from
his teachers, his friends, his sports..."

	"I know. That's what I was thinking."

	"And also, it's not fair to add an extra person on the trip that
you've been looking forward to. What kind of strain would Jake put on our
relationship?"

	"You're not really worried about that, are you? Sweetheart,
darling, nothing could interfere with the love we share for one another."

	"I didn't mean that. I just thought about privacy and exposing Jake
to our gay lifestyle. He might not be ready for that and it would put him
in an awkward situation."

	"What if we took him to Dallas to stay with Lee?"

	"Lee is spending his time in Dallas at the hospital receiving
treatment. If Jake went there, he'd be by himself in some apartment with no
friends. He'd have to change schools and his life would be turned upside
down. Then there's always a chance that Lee won't respond to his medication
and he might become sicker...or worse. So I don't think Jake's
moving to Dallas is an option."

	"Well, Jake has no one else. It's up to us to decide something."

	"Mike, aren't we getting ahead of ourselves? Jake doesn't even know
about his dad's death. We need to talk with him and let him make his own
decision."

	"Tom, look at this dump! It reminds me of what I escaped from in
Dothan. He can't live here by himself. Jesus! How long can he survive on
his chili concoction three meals a day?"

	"Let's go to his school and gently break the news to him. You
know that the shock is going to upset him, but at least, we'll be here to
comfort him and see him through the funeral plans. We don't have to make a
decision today. We'll stay here and help him, if you're willing!"

	"Tom, you know I couldn't leave him now. He needs us!"

	"I want to rent a car. It's ostentatious for us to be driving all
over Fort Stockton in an RV."

	"Could we rent a convertible?"

	"You'll always be Peter Pan, won't you?" Tom smiled. "I really
think a dark sedan is more appropriate under the circumstance."

	Not only did they find a Hertz Rental in Fort Stockton, there was
an Avis as well. Tom filled out the required paperwork and soon the two of
them were driving a forest green Toyota Highlander and headed toward the
school to get Jake.

	When Tom told the principal of Reverend Malone's death, the
Principal was saddened because the reverend had been his wife's
pastor. Although he would never let it show, the principal was relieved by
the fact that his wife would no longer come home from church on Sundays and
"repreach" the sermon to him.

	The school secretary looked at Jake's class schedule and went to
get him in Biology. Soon Jake bounced down the hall to greet his
visitors. When he saw Mike and Tom, Jake smiled from ear to ear and almost
ran to meet them. Tom swallowed the lump in his throat, for he knew that
Jake's happiness would quickly change to grief after he had learned of his
dad's death.

	"Hey, guys!" Jake called.

	"Hi, Jake," Mike replied.

	"What on earth are you doing here? Tryin' to see what you missed by
not goin' to a Texas high school?"

	"We're here to, uh...show you this nifty new SUV Tom and I just
rented."

	"Swell! But you'd better check with the principal before I leave
the building."

	"We've spoken to him, Jake," Tom assured.

	"And he said it was okay?"

	"Sure thing!" Mike replied.

	"What color did you get?"

	"It's green," Mike said.

	"I like green. I guess because there are no forests in Fort
Stockton."

	"Let's go take a ride, Jake, we need to talk," Tom said.

	The three walked out of the school and got into the SUV.

	"You're not mad at me, are you?" Jake asked, his sudden concern
showing in his demeanor.

	"Of course not. Why do you ask?"

	"It's just that the two of you look so serious. You don't look
friendly like you did last night in the 'Baygo'."

	"Jake," Tom began, "I'm afraid we've got some rather unpleasant or
sad news to tell you."

	"Omigod!" Jake exclaimed. "Has something happened to Lee? He's
dead, isn't he?"

	"No, no, as far as we know, Lee's fine."

	"Then what's wrong?"

	"Jake, it's your dad." Tom said, rather grimly.

	"He's...he's dead?" Jake asked quietly.

	"I'm afraid so, Jake. I'm sorry."

	"Does Lee know?"

	"No."

	"Then don't tell him...although he might be relieved to hear it."

	"Lee hated him that much?"

	"Yes, and rightly so."

	"What about you, Jake? Did you hate your dad?"

	"I was scared of him. I hated the way he punished Lee...always
screamin' and yellin' at him...beatin' on him."

	Mike looked at Tom and the two of them were a bit amazed that Jake
was showing no sign of grief. Jake seemed more concerned about Lee than
about their father.

	"Jake, would you like us to drive you to the hospital to see your
dad?"

	"Not really. You said he was dead, didn't you?"

	"Yes," Mike replied.

	"Would you rather go home, then?" Tom asked.

	"Yeah, I guess."

	"Jake, you realize that if we don't contact Lee, it will be up to
you to make your dad's funeral arrangements."

	"I thought all that out when he went to the hospital. I even put up
the ironing board and tried to press his black suit, the best that I
could."

	"You THOUGHT he was going to die?" Tom asked, in astonishment.

	"I KNEW he would. When Lee left and Dad had no one to lash his
anger on, it was if he had nothin' left to live for. He just sat lookin'
out the window, day and night...wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink nothin',
wouldn't go to bed. He always needed somethin' to hate and Lee was gone."

	"What about you? Did he ever take his anger out on you?"

	"Not as much. He always looked on me as being his real son and
always accused my mother of whorin' around and gettin' pregnant with Lee by
some other man. He hated Lee."

	"Did you think Lee was your real brother?"

	"As far as I'm concerned, Lee IS my real brother. Whether we had
the same dad or not, we had the same mother. You know, the first night when
my father went to the hospital, I laid in my bed and laughed."

	"You laughed at your dad's illness?"

	"No, no. I thought about how Dad was goin' to tell God and the
angels what sinners THEY were and I could see my dad tryin' to take over
heaven!"

	Both Tom and Mike wanted to laugh, but somehow the two of them
suppressed the feeling. Tom had a second silent laugh all by himself, as he
imagined that Jake's remark was identical to something Mike might have said
on learning of his own dad's death.

	"Then let's us go to your house and get the black suit and take it
to the undertaker. Do you have a preference of funeral homes?"

	"The cheapest," Jake replied. "I guess that would be Coulter's
Funeral Home. Dad had no insurance policies. He didn't believe in them."

	"Jake, don't worry about the cost," Mike said. "Tom and I will take
care of everything."

	"Why are you guys being so nice to me?"

	"We're your friends, Jake. That's what friends do."

	"None of mine."

	"Well, we're your two new best friends. How's that?"

	"I like it. You two are the first gay friends I've ever had. I
think you're the only gay guys I've ever met."

	"Then we're not the monsters that you've heard and read about?"

	"Heck, no! If all gays are like you, I think the whole world should
be gay."

	"That's stretching it a little, don't you think? I mean, if
everyone was gay, the population would stop growing. There need to be
straight people to procreate babies."

	"I think I'll be gay when I grow up."

	"Jake, being gay isn't something you decide to be when you grow
up."

	"Lee didn't know he was gay until a few weeks ago. Maybe I'll find
out the way he did."

	"Let's hope you don't find out the same way Lee did."

	"You mean by gettin' sick?"

	"That's a big part of it," Mike said.

	"Did the two of you have to get sick before you found about
yourselves?"

	"Actually, no, Jake. Tom and I met and fell in love."

	"Then that's what I'll do. I'll find someone, fall in love, and
find out that I'm gay that way."

	"Jake, we'll talk about this some other time," Tom said. "Right
now, we have a funeral to plan."

	"Okay, but when we get home from Coulter's, can I watch some more
adult channels on your TV?"

	"Later tonight, after dinner."

	"Great!"

	Astonishingly, Jake took his father's death with no traumatic
scene. It was as if his father had gone away on a trip and Jake didn't seem
to mind. Tom suddenly remembered something his professor had taught him in
Psych 101. "Indifference is the cruelest hate of all." One had to care to
hate. Jake, apparently, didn't care. He was totally indifferent toward his
father.


<><><><><><>


	"The phone's for you, babe," Johnny said.

	"Trouble?" Jeff asked, as ninety percent of the calls he received
at home were usually requests for help.

	"I don't think so."

	"Hello?" Jeff said, picking up the receiver.

	"Father Jeff?"

	"Yes?"

	"I don't know if you'll remember me, but I'm Douglas Champion."

	"The author?" Jeff replied, somewhat surprised.

	"Well, yes, but I like to think of myself as an aging resident of
Briarwood, first."

	"I'm sorry, sir, or rather, Mr. Champion. I didn't mean..."

	"Call me Doug, please."

	"Okay, then...Doug."

	"I called your dad, who's also my attorney, to get your phone
number. I also had a long talk with Father Cliff about the work that you
Clayton boys and your partners are doing in New Hampshire, and I must say
you've all done yourselves rather proud."

	"Thank you, sir."

	"Please forget the formality. You're making me feel older. It's
been a long time since I heard a young man call me 'sir'. I still used the
word in my novels, but I'm afraid 'sir' and 'ma'am' have all but vanished
from the vocabulary of today's youth."

	"My dad taught me to always use 'sir' and 'ma'am'. It's a habit
that I can't break."

	"Good for you! It's refreshing."

	"Yes, sir, thanks."

	"I guess you're wondering why I called, but I suppose my speech to
you requires a preamble. You see, Father, much has changed in my life since
I saw you last. You may or not remember that I lost my wife, Louise?"

	"Yes, sir, I assisted Father Cliff with her funeral mass."

	"Of course you did. Those days were so dark in my life, with her
getting sick and all, I scarcely remember details unless I'm writing a
story or a novel."

	"I understand."

	"I guess since last we met, you and I have become kindred spirits
in another way. It seems that it took me fifty some-odd years to come out
of the closet and become openly gay. I, uh, have a companion now, a male
companion,...a lover, I suppose you would call him."

	"That's wonderful for you. Is he a member of St. Genesius?"

	"He is NOW. I don't suppose you would call it incest, but Charles,
my friend, is and was my brother-in-law, Louise's brother," Doug said,
trying to make a small joke.

	"Oh, I don't believe male incest is against the law in Briarwood,"
Jeff replied, humoring him.

	"As you know, Father Jeff, I'm very successful and, with Louise
gone, plus having no children as heirs, I've accumulated a rather sizeable
fortune from royalties, film rights, et cetera. I have no one to leave it
to. Charles and I have spent many hours discussing what to do with so great
a sum. If I should die first, Charles is already well taken care of, and I
talked with your dad about drawing me up a new will."

	"I see."

	"But I kept wondering why I should wait until after I'm dead for
the money to be used. I want to use it now, while I can see what I guess I
would call, my 'living' legacy."

	"Did my dad give you any ideas?"

	"That's when he told me about Mackintosh and the enormous
population you've amassed there."

	"Yes, sir. It grows larger every month."

	"A friend of mine sent me an article via email from the 'World
Daily Net', describing subsidized housing to be built for the first time
for gay retirement in Hollywood. The 103-unit complex is a joint effort of
the City of Los Angeles, the non-profit Gay and Lesbian Elder Housing
Corporation, and the St. Louis-based developer, McCormick Baron
Salazar. Their plan is to break ground in the spring and open in 2005 on
city-owned land, a few blocks from the famed Hollywood Boulevard."

	"I hadn't heard about that, Doug, but what a marvelous idea!"

	"I quite agree, Father. A member of the Gay and Lesbian Housing
Corporation was quoted as saying that the project will ensure there are a
whole bunch of older Lesbians and gays who will not have to live
alone. Unless you have a social circle that's aging with you, it can be so
hard. There's a lot of isolation in growing old alone, without other people
like yourself around you. This spokesman also stated, 'These are the people
who fought so that I can walk down the street holding hands with
someone. But nobody's helping them. They get pushed to the fringe of the
community and then are put out to pasture.'".

	"What a wonderful thought!"

	"In many ways, it's very similar to your AIDS community in
Mackintosh. Seniors with same-sex partners will be allowed to share rooms
at the new facility."

	"As they should be allowed to, I might add."

	"It seems that other states are planning these retirement homes as
well, Palmetto and Fort Myers, Florida, Apache Junction, Arizona, two in
San Francisco, two in New Mexico, and another one in North Carolina."

	"Doug, this is fantastic news!"

	"Wait! There's more! You haven't heard MY proposal."

	"I'm dying to hear it."

	"With my money, I want to build two more...one in my hometown of
Briarwood, and I'd like you to look into the same kind of facility for
Macintosh. The tab is on me, carte blanche!"

	Jeff choked up, tears in his eyes. "I can't believe it, Doug! Of
course, I'll look into it! I really don't have to because I know just the
place to build it. My God! I'm so happy!"

	"You're pleased?"

	"More than you can ever imagine! It WILL get built and, yes, you'll
live to see it opened."

	"I've had many thoughts and discussions with God, about why I
became gay at my age and now I know."

	"Doug, would you and Charles like to fly up and spend a few days
with Johnny and me at our house. We can show you the town and let you meet
all the residents."

	"If that's an invitation, I'll accept here and now."

	"Let me know when you can come to visit and Johnny and I will meet
you at the airport in Montpelier."

	"How about next week?"

	"Next week it is! Call me when you make your airline reservation."

	"I'll do just that!"

	"Doug, how can I thank you?"

	"You can't. I thank God that I can afford to do it."

	"Be prepared for a big party at the Powder Puff."

	"The Powder Puff?"

	"It's a rip-roaring gay bar in Mackintosh and the people are gonna
love you."

	"Sounds like fun!"

	"It will be, Doug. It will be."

	"Then I guess I'll say good night for now."

	"Good night, Doug, and God bless you."

	"He already has, Father, believe me."

	"See you next week!"

	"Count on it!"

	Jeff hung up the phone and squealed like a drag queen to high
heavens.

	"Damn, Jeff!" Johnny exclaimed. "What on earth was that for?"

	"Just wait until I tell you, sweetheart! You're gonna let out a
whoop, too."

<><><><><><><>


	It had been years since either Hal or Steve knocked on each other's
doors. The other's parents had adopted both, so the each of them came and
went into the other's house unannounced. Hal parked his car hurriedly and
ran into the Jarvis household, down to Steve's room where Steve was still
asleep.

	Hal walked to the foot of Steve's bed and heavily swatted one of
Steve's feet, which awoke Steve instantly.

	"Ow!" Steve yelled, looking up to see an angry look on his best
friend's face. "What the fuck did you do that for?"

	"Wake up, asshole!"

	"I'm awake! What the fuck do you want?"

	"I want some answers!" Hal said, firmly.

	"Answers? Answers to what?"

	"I want to know what the fuck you've been doing with Noah?"

	"Noah?"

	"Yes, Noah! You know...my kid brother!"

	"What do you mean, Hal?"

	"Don't give me that! You know goddamned well what I mean."

	"I've been doing nothin' with Noah...just gettin' to know him
better."

	"Better how?"

	"He's all grown up now. I just wanted to stop treatin' him like the
kid he used to be."

	"Why didn't you invite me to come along?"

	"You could have."

	"Yeah, but I didn't! 'Cause I wasn't asked!"

	"Hal, why are you so angry? Are you jealous?"

	"You're my best friend, or at least, I thought you were...until my
kid brother took my place in your life."

	"Jesus, man! Back off! There's nothing changed between you and me."

	"Oh?"

	"Hal, what are you gettin' at?"

	"As if you didn't know!"

	"I don't!"

	"Like hell, you don't! Tell me what happened at Motel 6 last
night."

	"Nothing happened at Motel 6."

	"You didn't take your clothes off, turn off the lights, and hold
Noah in bed?"

	"Who told you that?"

	"Noah! Who else?"

	"Hal, I swear to you..."

	"Can it! I don't want you lyin' to me after all the years we've
been friends."

	"I'm not lyin', Hal. Nothin' happened."

	"Then why would my own brother lie to me?"

	"You'll have to ask him, Hal. I don't know why."

	"Do you know that he thinks he's in love with you?"

	"Shit! Now I'm sure you've gone bonkers!"

	"He said it! He loves you! So? What about you? Do you love him
too?"

	"Hal, you know fuckin' well that I'm not queer."

	"I always believed that up until this mornin'!"

	"Well, I'm still not!"

	"DID YOU or DID YOU NOT meet Noah at Motel 6 in Greenport?"

	"I won't lie. Yes, I did."

	"What for? A quick blow job from my kid brother?"

	"Good God, NO! I would never..."

	"Run out of pussy? Needed a virgin hole to fuck?"

	"Hal, would you please calm down and give me a chance to explain?"

	"I'm listenin'!"

	"Noah called me from the motel. He sounded like he was in trouble
or had had a fight at home. I went to see him to find out what had
happened."

	"And then what happened."

	"When I got there, he surprised me at the door and kissed me."

	"That makes me want to puke, Steve."

	"I was revolted, too, at first."

	"Then what happened? Did you kiss him back?"

	"Hell, no. Noah told me over a week ago that he thought he was
queer...or gay, as he put it!"

	"Why did he tell you and not me?"

	"I guess he was afraid that you'd go ballistic, just as you did
with me just now."

	"Bullshit!"

	"Did you beat him up when he told you?"

	"No, I was madder at you than I was at him. I rushed over here to
get your side of the story. So what's goin' on?"

	"Hal, I don't know how to explain all this to you. I...I don't know
what's happening to me. I've never had a kid brother. Noah seemed disturbed
about somethin'. I wanted him to open up and tell me what it was, if he
wanted to."

	"And so he did, huh?"

	"The first night we went out, he told me about his gay feelings. I
sorta felt sorry for him. I'd never paid much attention to him, his being a
kid and all. Anyway, after I took him home, I had these strange
feelings. I've always loved you like a brother, but suddenly, I felt some
kind of love toward Noah. It was different from the kind of love I feel for
you."

	"How different?"

	"It was like he wanted someone to understand the way he feels. He
wanted someone to hold him...to feel safe...to cry on my shoulder. When I
got home, I felt bad that I didn't hold him. He needed me...or you,
probably, but he was afraid to say to you what he'd told me. It was the next
night that he told me that he thought he loved me. No one had ever said
that to me...no girl...and CERTAINLY no guy. I began to feel something for
him. I don't think it was love, but I wanted to hold him, too...as a friend
or a kid brother."

	"You've lost your mind, Steve."

	"I thought so, too."

	"And then you probably got a hardon and wanted to fuck him as
well."

	"I won't say that the idea didn't cross my mind...but being
straight, I couldn't allow myself to do it. God knows, Noah was willin' and
wanted to have sex with me, but I couldn't, no more than you could."

	"Then why did you take off your clothes and get into bed with him?"

	"To please him...to make him feel happy!"

	"That's horseshit!"

	Steve was gaining no ground with an explanation to Hal, so he tried
to change the subject momentarily.

	"Hey, Hal, can you come down off your high horse long enough to
fill me in on what's happening between you and Carolyn?"

	"If you were still my best friend, I'd tell you that Carolyn and I
are gonna get married."

	"When?"

	"Soon...only no one knows it. I called my Uncle Herbert and Aunt
Sudie, down in Ashville, and they told me that Carolyn and I could live
with them until the baby's born."

	"You're leavin'?"

	"Yep!"

	"Were you gonna leave and not tell me?"

	"I probably would have before all this Noah business came up. Now,
I don't know. I ought to wait until Noah heads back to school so I can look
after him and protect him from you."

	"That's not fair, Hal. You can't protect your brother the rest of
his life. You've got to let him grow up some time."

	"I'll see to it that he grows up without YOU around."

	"Hal, you can't change Noah's feelings, no more than I can."

	"He said he loves you, Steve, and that ain't right! You still
haven't told me how you feel about him."

	"What would you say if I were to tell you I might love him, too?"

	"I'd think you had some ulterior motive about getting him to
perform oral sex on you and then you'd run off and leave him and break his
heart. I can't let that happen, Steve."

	"After all the years we've been best friends, you can't trust me?"

	"Looks that way. Goddammit, Steve! You ain't no queer. How can you
say something like you might love him, too? Jesus Christ! You gonna tell me
that you love me, too? I mean, after all, you and me've been closer than
you and Noah."

	"I've always loved you, Hal, and always will."

	"Did you ever dream of havin' sex with me as well?"

	"When we were about fifteen or sixteen, I used to wonder if you
were jerkin' off, the same as me. I used to wonder how big your dick
was. Was it bigger than mine? I used to think how much fun it would be if I
could jerk you off and you do the same to me."

	"More bullshit!"

	"It's true! Be honest with me, Hal, didn't you ever have similar
feelin's about me?"

	"Maybe once or twice, but, hell, we were just kids."

	"When you had those thoughts, did you think YOU were queer?"

	"Fuck NO!"

	"Why not?"

	"I was too young to even know what a queer was, much less, be one
myself!"

	"You don't think that two guys can fall in love?"

	"Two that are sick in the head, maybe."

	"Hal, if I DID have sex with Noah, what would you've done? Tried to
kill both of us."

	"Probably just you. Noah's still too young to know what he's
doin'."

	"You might be surprised, Hal. He's older than you think."

	"I only know that you're old enough to take advantage of him."

	"That's not true, either! I'd never do that!"

	"That's right, and I intend to see that you don't!"

	"Not even if he loved me and I loved him?"

	"Not even then! Steve, for Christ's sake, what's come over you?"

	"I keep asking myself that same question."

	"And how did you answer yourself?"

	"I hated to admit it to myself, but, yes, Hal, I do love Noah!"

	"And you wanna have sex with him?"

	"When the time is right, yes!"

	"God damn! I can't believe my ears. I mean, YOU, of all people,
turnin' queer, almost overnight!"

	"It does sound strange, doesn't it?"

	"You mean it sounds 'queer', don't you?"

	"Hal, would you give me and Noah a chance to see how we really feel
about each other?"

	"That's askin' a lot, Steve. I don't know."

	"He'll be goin' back to school in six or eight weeks. He and I can
have the rest of the summer to see where it leads."

	"I can't wait that long. Carolyn's almost showin' now. We can't
keep her pregnancy a secret much longer."

	"You gonna wait until you get to Ashville before you marry her?"

	"That's the plan. Then we're gonna call her folks and my folks and
break the news to them before they make a ruckus about the baby."

	"In the meanwhile, what about Noah...and me?"

	"Aw, shit! I don't care what you do! Buy him candy and posies and
take him out on dates until you have your way with him and ruin his
life. Maybe that's what Noah deserves. One thing's for sure, I know you're
not gonna be braggin' about havin' sex with him in Smiley's. If my dad
finds out, he'll shoot you...and word DOES get around."

	"You think I don't know I'm playin' with dynamite?"

	"Steve, the only thing I'll ask of you is, 'don't hurt him,
Steve'. Please don't hurt him."

	"Then I have your permission to see him?"

	"I...I guess, as long as you keep it quiet."

	"Then I guess I'd better tell you that Randy saw Noah and me at
Motel 6."

	"Good God! What did he say?"

	"Randy and I had a long talk at Katie's and he told me secrets
about him and Ty...things that would keep him from sayin' anything about
Noah and me."

	"Randy and Ty? What kind of things?"

	"Want to venture a guess?"

	"Oh, shit, no! Don't tell me! Randy and Ty? Jesus! Did you know?"

	"Not until he told me this morning."

	"Goddamn! I've been cavortin' with a bunch of queers all my life
and didn't know it! What about Wade? Him, too?"

	"I don't think so. Wade is a total virgin with girls AND guys! He
could never have sex with anyone without a written permission slip from his
mother."

	"Thank God, someone's straight in our crowd besides me!"

	"Hal, do you want me to drive down with you to Ashville and be your
best man?"

	"Not the maid of honor?"

	"Go fuck yourself!"

	"Well, how do I know what you're gonna do? Are you going to become
my sister-in-law once I leave?"

	"You never can tell," Steve laughed for the first time since Hal
entered his bedroom.

	Steve was surprised and embarrassed when Hal suddenly yanked
Steve's covers off him to reveal Steve naked.

	"What the fuck did you do that for?"

	"I wanted to get a good look at your dick and see why my brother
finds it so attractive."

	"He's never seen it, Hal."

	"I have...many times, and it still does nothing for me."

	"The time wasn't right."

	"Can I ask you somethin' kinda personal?"

	"When did you ever stop before?"

	"Noah...what was it like to kiss him? I mean, is he a good kisser?"

	"I was too shocked to enjoy it, I guess. But, yes, he is a good
kisser I guess."

	"Was Noah the first guy you've ever kissed?"

	"The first and only. Why did you ask?"

	"I just can't see two men kissin' each other!"

	"Wanna try it?"

	"Fuck no! Save your kisses for the youngest member of my family."

	"Are you too much of a chicken shit to try it?"

	"I ain't chicken about doin' nothin'!"

	"Then I dare you!"

	"What? Kiss you?"

	"We're closer than brothers. Some brothers kiss each other all the
time in foreign countries. I saw the Russian Olympic team kiss each other
after every event on TV."

	"Well, this is Hawthorne, not Russia!"

	"Come on, chicken shit, I dare you to kiss me. Can't you take a
dare?"

	"Why do you want me to kiss you?"

	"To see what it's like. Are you the least bit curious?"

	"Shit, Steve, this is fuckin' silly."

	"Prove you're not afraid."

	"Oh, Goddammit! Lean over here!"

	Steve raised himself up in bed and Hal, nervously, placed his lips
on Steve's. Their lips locked and Steve slowly raised his arms to embrace
his best friend. Out of the corner of Hal's eye, he noticed Steve popping a
boner. This excited Hal and he sprang an erection as well, which stunned
Hal and he instantly pulled his mouth away from Steve's.

	"You got excited, didn't you?" Steve asked.

	"What did you expect...seein' your hard on gave me one."

	"You didn't think that would happen to you, did you?"

	"Fuck no! But it won't happen again. That was my first and last
time to ever do that! I'm disgusted with myself. Don't ever ask me to do
that again or I'll beat the shit out of you!"

	"But you see that it CAN happen, even when you don't expect it?"

	"I gotta go, Steve. I got to get home. Noah was mad at me when I
left and he's probably run away from home by now."

	"If he's not at home, give me a call and I'll help you look for
him."

	Hal adjusted the crotch of his jeans and got up to leave. When he
was at the door he turned and said, "Just remember what I said,
Steve. Don't hurt him. Don't hurt my brother."

	"I won't, Hal. I promise."

	Hal left.


<><><><><><>


	Alvin, Cliff's new secretary at St. Genesius, came into Cliff's
office to tell him that a Mrs. Leona Leighton was in the outer office and
wanted to speak with him.  Cliff knew the Leighton family by name only as
they were not members of his parish. George Leighton, the husband of Leona
and the father of Billy Leighton, owned and operated the Ford dealership in
Briarwood. Billy, age fifteen, was a sophomore at Briarwood High
School. Unbeknownst to his parents, Billy had attended services at
St. Genesius for three Sundays in a row. However, on his third visit, a
neighbor of the Leighton's had seen Billy as he exited the Sunday service
and had called Leona to ask why Billy was no longer attending Regal Baptist
Church, where the Leighton's were members, although they seldom went.

	Upon hearing the gossip, Leona had confronted her son about his
Sunday worships at the Anglican Church only to learn and be shocked by
Billy when he told his mother he was gay. It was Leona's intention to meet
with Cliff and ask him if he would deter Billy from going to St. Genesius
before his dad found out about it. Cliff was totally unaware of any of
this.

	"Ask her to come in," Cliff told Alvin.

	A few moments later, Leona came into Cliff's office. She was a
tall, attractive woman in her mid 40's. Her clothes were high-fashion as
she flew to New York every couple of months to buy designer dresses and
accessories. The Leighton's weren't exactly millionaires, but one could
never tell it by the way Leona dressed and presented herself.

	"Good morning, Reverend," Leona said, extending her hand to Cliff.

	"Father, or Cliff," Cliff said, taking her hand, and correcting her
greeting.

	"Pardon?"

	"We don't refer to the clergy as Reverend."

	"I'm sorry, but I call no man 'Father' unless he was my real
father."

	"Just call me, Cliff, then."

	"That's a bit too well-disposed to call someone by his first name
when we've just met."

	Cliff was somewhat taken back by her remarks and formality.

	"Very well, you can call me Mr. Cole, if that will make you more
comfortable."

	"I'm here to see you about my son, Billy."

	"Forgive me, Mrs. Leighton, but do I know your son?"

	"Probably not. Perhaps he's not your type."

	"Excuse me?"

	"Mr. Cole, there's no use mincing words. The whole town knows that
you're homosexual and that you attract young men and women who haven't
formulated their own sexuality."

	"Forgive me, Mrs. Leighton, if I take a mild offense at your
accusation."

	"I'm sorry if I've offended you but I call the shots as I see
them."

	"How or where does your son fit into this scenario?"

	"Billy was baptized at Regal Baptist where our whole family has
been members for generations. It was only yesterday that I learned from a
neighbor, and then from my son, that he's been attending church services
here."

	"Then you probably also know that our congregation consists of
several thousand members, and, although I try diligently, I cannot know
each of them personally. I'm afraid I don't know your son."

	"I suppose you only get to know the ones that you're attracted to?"

	"Mrs. Leighton, you have a rather severe image of St. Genesius. I
can assure you that this is a house of worship, not a gay bar."

	"You serve wine at every service, don't you? We only use Concord
grape juice at Regal Baptist."

	Cliff was overwhelmed by her assertions and was becoming frustrated
with the interview.

	"Mrs. Leighton, I won't go into the fermentation of the sacrament,
nor will I defend it."

	"Oh well, I expected as much from you."

	"So your son has been attending services here...?"

	"Yes, and I want you to put a stop to it."

	"May I ask how old your son, Billy, is?"

	"He's fifteen...a minor."

	"And you're worried about his imbibing alcoholic drink during
communion?"

	"That, plus the fact that you and your group here adhere to
homosexual beliefs."

	"Billy is a homosexual?"

	"Of course not! He's says he is, but I know with a little medical
or psychiatric help, I can straighten out his adolescent attractions that
most young men grow out of when they're past puberty."

	"Mrs. Leighton, I don't know where you got your predisposed
conception or ideation about me or this parish, but you have been
misinformed or wrongly educated about our liturgy."

	"Our church teaches us and warns us about false prophets and the
anti-Christ. We know that Satan can disguise himself in all forms,
including religion."

	"Does your church teach you not to judge?"

	"Only when it becomes necessary or when something is so obviously
sinful, away from the narrow path of the righteous."

	"Mrs. Leighton, St. Genesius accedes to 'The Way of the Cross'
doctrine and opens its doors to anyone who wishes to enter. I don't have
the right to deny entrance to anyone. If Billy wants to attend, he is
welcome, but as far as refusing him to worship, then that is up to you and
your husband. You're his parents, and as you said, he's a minor. So it
should be up to you to restrict him from going places you do not wish him
to go."

	"Oh, don't worry, I'll do my part. I came here to ask you nicely if
you would do your part. Will you?"

	"No, Mrs. Leighton, I won't. Your son is always welcome at this
church. I'm certain that you're about to find out that a fifteen-year-old
young man has already mapped out a few preferences in his young life and if
you interfere, you're apt to find yourself in an unwinning struggle or
situation. As for his being gay, that too is something he must decide for
himself, although the latest reports from the AMA and APA, as well as the
DSM-IV prove that homosexuality is genetic and not preferential. If you
take Billy to a psychiatrist, I'm sure he will confirm it."

	"Yes, all doctors are bleeding-heart liberals. Your boyfriend,
husband, partner, or whatever you call him is one, so I've heard. He spends
millions on trying to clean up all the plague and pestilence that you've
generated around the globe with your lifestyle filled with non-curable
diseases. He will have to answer to the Maker for all his sinful deeds as
well!"

	"Mrs. Leighton, I'm afraid that this conversation should be
declared a stalemate as we seem to be conversing on different levels."

	"This is not a warning, but if I see Billy coming to your church or
if he's already slipped inside, I will be forced to come in and remove
him."

	"If you choose to embarrass yourself and cause harm to Billy's
psyche, then DO just that. However, if you decide to sit with your son and
see what he's attracted to by the mass, I would like to invite you and your
husband to join us. Our doors are closed to no one and that means NO ONE,
not even Billy."

	"I'm sorry to have disturbed you, REVEREND, I know you must have
better things to do, such as going to the grammar school with your
binoculars and picking out young boys to excite you."

	"Goodbye, Mrs. Leighton."

	"Goodbye."

	"If there's some way I can assist you OR Billy after you've tried
to cure him, please call my secretary Alvin for an appointment. Tell Billy,
if he wants to come by and chat, my door is open to him."

	"And your zipper, too, I suppose?"

	"Goodbye."

	She left in a huff. Alvin entered Cliff's office before Leona could
slam the door.

	"Good Lord, Father! What was that?" Alvin asked.

	"A drop of water in a troubled sea, but it does make waves."

	"More like a typhoon."

	"Alvin, do you know of a young man named Billy Leighton?"

	"Yes, Father, I met him a couple of Sundays ago. He was asking
about Mike. Apparently, Billy was in the ninth grade while Mike was
finishing his senior year at Briarwood High."

	"You don't think that Mike...?"

	"Heavens, no! Mike only had eyes for Tom. You know that."

	"Yes, but I wonder why...?"


<><><><><><><><>


(To be continued in "Briarwood"---BOOK SEVEN--chapter--seventy-seven.)