Date: Fri, 23 Mar 2007 13:54:52 EDT From: RitchChristopher@cs.com Subject: but-who-knows-where-or-when-7 All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> "But Who Knows Where or When?" Copyright Ritchris, 2007 A Story by Ritch Christopher with literary enhancement by Les Martin <><><><><> chapter seven <><><><><> "Some things that happen for the first time..." excerpted from "WHERE OR WHEN" from Rodgers and Hart's "Babes in Arms" copyright 1937 <><><><><><><><><><><><> It was Saturday and, with Blaine playing golf this morning, Maggie had loads of time to herself so, upon hearing that Rex had moved back into the old homestead, Maggie thought she'd pay her baby brother a visit. It literally had been years since she had been inside her childhood dwelling. She was never close to either her mother or father. The only person she'd ever cared about was Rex. Thinking about those past years of her youth, Maggie smiled as if she had a secret. She always knew, when they were children, that Rex had always looked up to her as being the braver of the two, and she'd never disillusioned him. In the winter cold, the walls and the hardwood floors would creak, raising childish thoughts of ghosts and goblins. Often, if a window had been left open just a crack to rid the room of stale odors, a sudden draft of wintry air could enter, causing a door to slam with an explosive BANG!, making the two siblings jump in terror. In the night, a loud unexplained noise or a distant thud would have Maggie running to Rex's room, supposedly to calm him, when the reverse was actually true--she was more terrified then he and wanted his presence to ensure her safety. She'd never liked that old mansion and, upon their death, held no grudge or feeling of resentment when their parents left the mansion to Rex. Lord knows she didn't want the old 'spook house' as she used to call it. When she left for college and met Blaine, she vowed never to return to live in the huge abode. Her vow eventually became unnecessary because soon thereafter, she and Blaine moved in together and then married... later buying their present home where she had resided happily ever since. Blaine had left early to play a round of golf with his partner, Frank Whitcomb, so Maggie made her decision to go see Rex. Being August with the summer heat, there should be no problem with the house settling and making strange eerie noises, thank God! She drove the convertible with the ease and assurance one expects in a man but rarely sees in women. Turning into the ancestral driveway and heading for the house, she realized that she didn't see Rex's car. Well, perhaps he had parked it inside the large garage. Stopping her car at the foot of the staircase which led to the front door, Maggie got out and climbed the ten steps up to the veranda. She opened the screen door and, turning the front door knob, found that it wasn't locked. Feeling like a child again, as if she were re-entering her childhood, she went inside. Standing in the open doorway, memories of her youth came back to her. High ceilings, dark, rich woods. However, there was still a certain odor of age, the smell that old unlived-in houses often develop. She was sure that Rex had tried to air out the building when he moved in the day before, but it'd never leave the house completely. She took one whiff and said to herself, "God! I hope Rex didn't die in here during the night! This place smells like a condemned funeral home! If Rex had any luck at all, the ground would open up and swallow this monstrosity!" Maggie strolled around the main floor, looking at the old furniture, the drapes. Everything looked the just the same as it had for decades, as if it were in some kind of vacuum time capsule. The only real change was the dust and the odor of decaying wood. As she walked, she could hear her footsteps echoing upstairs and throughout the domicile. Then she heard a man's voice calling from the second floor, "Sweetheart? Is that you?" The sudden sound stopped her in her tracks. The voice was certainly not Rex's, but she remembered Blaine saying that Rex had moved Kent Stevenson in with him. Her next thought was, 'I wonder where 'sweetheart' is? In the kitchen?'. She figured that no doubt Rex and Kent had brought two girls with them to spend the weekend and, just incidentally would fuck a dozen times or more. So leaving the living room, she walked to the base of the staircase. When she looked up, she saw Kent standing at the top of the stairs, totally nude and as sculptured as a Michelangelo statue. Maggie smiled and replied, "I'm not your sweetheart, but I'm hoping that I'll do!" Kent looked in shock at Maggie, then, realizing his appearance, tried to cover his genitals with his bare hands. He was too well endowed to cover everything, even with two hands. "Oh, my God! I'm sorry!" Kent exclaimed. "Don't be sorry on my account! Frankly, I like what I see." "I...I..." "No need to hide yourself! I've already seen ...well, what you're trying to conceal and believe me, I LIKE what I saw." "You're Maggie, aren't you?" "Yes, and YOU'RE Kent! I've seen you play football." "You really want me to uncover myself? I could go put on some clothes!" "Get serious! I'm a doctor's wife. I know what little boys and big boys have between their legs." "It's just that I have this infection in my testicles and they look pretty horrible!" "A hydrocele infection...commonly called, orchitis?" "You know about it?" "Sure, lots of guys get it. Once when Blaine was studying for his state board, we went without sex for nearly a month and Blaine thought HE had it." "Did he?" "No. As it turned out, he had plain old 'blue balls' from lack of shooting off. We made love for two straight days and his swelling went down like a deflated beach ball!" "I wish that would happen to me." "By the way, am I interrupting something?" "No. I was just getting into the bathtub." "I mean, when you called out, 'Sweetheart'! Is there a girl or woman hiding down here amidst the dusty walls and floors?" "No...uh, Rex has gone to the grocery store to fill up the kitchen cabinets with canned goods." "Well, if there's no woman down here...don't tell me that you and Rex refer to one another as 'sweetheart'?" "Uh...we do when we're just kidding around. We started doing it when we moved in together at the dorm. Only we usually use a Spanish accent a la Desi Arnaz. We act like we're Lucy and Desi...you know, 'Honey, I'm home...'!" "I'm curious which of you is Lucy and who's Desi? I know goddamned well that Rex can't be Lucy and seeing you as I did just now...YOU'RE no 'Lucy' either!" "We...we take turns." "Well, don't let me keep you from your bath. I'll go into the kitchen and make some coffee and wait for Rex to return." "Thanks, he shouldn't be too long." "You...uh...you don't need help with your bath, do you? Rex can tell you that I'm a real expert at giving baths. God knows, I gave him plenty while he was growing up...even through his teens!" "You bathed Rex when he was a teenager?", he said in disbelief. "Sure! That's when bathing got to be REAL fun!" "I...I never had a sister, so I wouldn't know..." "I could show you in a matter of minutes if you'd like!" "I...I'm sure you could. I mean...I've had lots of women bathe me in the shower." "I'll bet you have...", she murmured, purposely taking on a Mae West quality. "Lately, Rex has been helping me." "Rex? That must be a novelty for him!" "All I can say is that you must have taught him well!" "Oh...?" "He gives really good baths AND sponge baths!" "Would you like to have one of mine so that you can compare, just to see how much he learned?" "My doctor, or maybe I should say 'your husband' told me not to get too excited before my planned surgery. So I think I'd better bathe alone for now." "All right, but maybe you can ask Rex sometime what it felt like for me to give him a bath..." Kent laughed, "I'll do that very thing!" He turned and went back toward the bathroom. Maggie did as she said. After watching him walk away, she catalogued the picture of his tight butt. Moving into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee, she saw the dinner dishes from the night before. clean but still in the dishwasher. Opening it, she started putting them away, all the while amazed that she still remembered where each item went. Maggie was not a slacker when it came to doing household chores---she kept hers and Blaine's house in good order and so it was only natural for her to help out her brother, who was, God knows, NOT the best housekeeper in the world. Looking in the kitchen closet, she found an apron, a broom, mop, and dustpan and immediately began cleaning up the kitchen. This would be her housewarming gift to Rex and Kent. Heck, if she bought them something, it would only be something else to sit around, unused, and gathering dust. In less than half an hour, she had Rex's kitchen sparkling and tidy enough to pass a Martha Stewart inspection. With the kitchen done, Maggie, with broom in hand, prepared to attack the dust and dirt in the dining room. As she began, the front door opened and in walked Rex, arms laden with bags. Seeing his sister, he exclaimed, "Maggie! My God! You look like Aunt Jemima in your apron!" "You're a sight for sore eyes, too, Rex! But I can hardly see you through the dust storm that arose when you opened the door!" Rex walked over to his sister, set down two armfuls of groceries on a convenient table and put his arms around Maggie to hug her and kiss her on her cheek. "Damn! It's good to see you, Magwumps!" That had been his favorite name for her since the time he was barely old enough to walk. "But what the fuck are you doing cleaning up this house?" "I heard from Blaine that you were playing nursemaid to Kent Stevenson and after looking at this place, I didn't want risk him developing emphysema or COPD before he had his surgery." "Where is Kent? Have you met him?" "Yes, Rex. As a matter of fact, I met ALL of him?", she almost giggled. "Oh? What's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing...but he should be out of the bathtub by now." "Oh?" "I thought surely when you came in that you would call to him, 'Hey Honey, I'm home!'." "Sorry?" "You know like Lucy and Desi...the way you and Kent talk to each other when no one else is around?" "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about? Is this some joke or riddle?" "I'm only repeating what Kent said to me when he yelled, 'Sweetheart, is that you?', when I came in." "God! It's only ten a.m. and I KNOW you don't drink this early, but I swear to God I don't have any idea what you're talking about!" "Skip it! Take your groceries into the kitchen and sound like you're amazed!" Rex picked up the two bags and went inside the kitchen and exclaimed, "JESUS H. CHRIST!. I've barely been gone an hour---how the hell did you get so much done?" "That comes with many years of experience at being a housewife!" "I don't know how to thank you, Sis!" "It's the least I could do." "After all these years, you still look after me!" For a moment, she could see again her little brother as a child. "That's because you're the only other man in my life besides Blaine. You were my first love...remember?" "That's funny. I'd never thought about it, but actually, Magwumps, YOU'RE the only girl I've ever loved." "Lord knows you've gone through enough women. You never stayed with one of them long enough to find out if you loved them or not!" "I never could find one I could trust as not being after my money. If you hadn't met Blaine when you did, your life might have turned out like mine!" "Money CAN be a problem if you have it! Fortunately, Blaine's practice is damned successful and we don't even touch MY money. It just sits in the bank and earns interest." "So does mine! I've never had a reason to spend any of it, so to speak..." "You COULD hire a housekeeper or a fixer-upper to make this mausoleum livable if you intend to live with Kent for some time." "That's a great idea. Why didn't I think of it?" "Rex, before Kent comes downstairs, tell me---how bad is his condition?" "How much has Blaine told you?" "Not very much...just that he's planning to do extensive surgery on him. His testicles DO look frightening!" "You've seen Kent's testicles?" "Yes, hasn't everyone? As a matter of fact, just before he got into his bath. I offered to help bathe him, but he refused...darn it!" "You held a conversation with Kent while he was naked?" "Silly! You think I'm not familiar with the male anatomy? Heck! I could draw diagrams of YOUR genitals from memory!" "Yes, but that's because you used to jerk me off when I was a teenager. You didn't offer to jerk Kent off, did you?" "Rex, darling, I'm not a sex addict! Of course not! I just offered to bathe him." "Jesus! You never change, do you?" "Same old Maggie! Ask Blaine. He'll tell you." "I hope you never change. I love you just as you were and as you are!" Kent walked in from down the stairs into the kitchen at that moment, dressed in jogging pants, a sweat shirt with the Epperson U's insignia and tennis shoes. "Hey, big guy!" Kent said to Rex. "Hey, there, yourself! How are you feeling?" "Much better. The hot water in the tub felt SO good on my...you know..." "Good!" Kent suddenly noticed the cleanliness of the kitchen. "GOOD GOD! What happened to the dirty kitchen? I didn't hear Tinkerbelle sprinkling her fairy dust down here. It looks terrific!" "That's my sister...the maid!" "Does she rent by the hour?" Kent asked. "Only in the bedroom, lovey, and only my husband can afford me!" Maggie said, smugly. "Lucky guy!" Kent said. "Here, Rex, let me help you put the groceries away. That way, I'll know where everything is." "I won't argue. Go to it!" Kent began taking canned goods and other food items out of the bags, putting them into the cabinets, the refrigerator, and the freezer. "What's for dinner tonight, before I freeze the wrong things?" "I thought we might go out for dinner tonight," Rex replied. "But what about our long weekend at home together?" "A couple of hours out on the town won't interfere with our weekend." "You guys planning to have a little female companionship over this weekend?" Maggie asked. "Not THIS weekend," Rex said. "I thought you might want to engage in some bedroom activities before Kent's surgery," she offered. "We don't even know when the surgery is scheduled, Maggie," Kent replied. "Rex, do you mind if I ask you a personal question in front of Kent?" "I really don't know how to keep you from it! I never could in all the years we lived together." "All right! I'll just come out and say it! Do I get a vibe that you two are trying to keep a big secret from me?" Maggie asked, leaning on the broom. "Shit, Magwumps! What kind of secret?" "There's SOMETHING going on between the two of you. I've noticed the way you two keep looking at one another and I'm getting a peculiar feeling..." "Maggie, we're best friends. I guess Kent and I look at each other like this all the time." "Even when you call each other 'sweetheart' and 'honey'?" "What? Maggie, I'm still in the dark. What are you getting at?" "Rex, if I didn't know you as well as I do, I'd swear that you and Kent were a couple!" Kent blushed while Rex cleared his throat. Both looked flustered. Kent turned his back to Maggie and got very busy putting away the rest of the groceries. "Maggie, Kent and I ARE a couple...a couple of best friends! You've just never seen the two of us together." "You're right, but I'm wondering how you'd act toward one another if I WEREN'T here? Rex, you know it wouldn't make a bit of difference to me if you and Kent WERE a couple." "I know...but if we were, I'm sure you'd be shocked just a little since you're very familiar with my track record with the 'ladies'!" "I can see I'm getting NOWHERE with you, little brother, so Kent, would you please turn around and look me straight in the eye?" "Maggie, PLEASE! Leave Kent alone!" "Not until he looks me in the eye." Kent slowly turned around from the cabinets and Maggie walked straight toward him, stopping about a foot from his face. Kent's blushing pink face had suddenly turned beet red. Kent cleared his throat. "Uh...what would you like to know, Maggie?" "Are you in love with Rex?" Kent took a deep breath and held it as he closed his eyes. "What should I say to her, Rex?" He asked. "Go ahead and tell her the truth, Kent." Kent sighed and quietly, said, "...Yes...yes, I am..." "Well, at least you're honest!" Maggie replied. "From what you just said to Kent, Rex, were you aware of how he feels about you?" It was Rex's turn to sigh. "Yes, Maggie, I KNOW how he feels..." "And you love Kent, don't you?" "Guilty!" "Come here, little brother!" Maggie said, beckoning Rex to stand beside Kent. Slowly, Rex moved to his position and Maggie put an arm around each of their necks and hugged them. "That's WONDERFUL, you two!" She exclaimed. "How long have you been lovers?" "Since last night!" Rex confessed. "JESUS! Then your relationship is brand new?" Maggie asked with great enthusiasm. "THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION! I want to call Blaine on the golf course to tell him that you two are going to be our guests for dinner. Blaine can make reservations before he leaves the country club!" "Maggie, we don't want the whole world to know, just yet!" Rex said. "WHY NOT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE? This is the twenty-first century now where gay men and women can be themselves without the fear of being ashamed or outted. OUT yourselves first and avoid any controversy!" "I don't know, Maggie..." "I DO! GOD! What a handsome couple you make. You know something, Rex. All my life I've been afraid of what kind of wife you'd choose because that meant I would have to compete with her. But NOW! Oh, how glorious! I don't have to compete with a quarterback and have face-lifts, botox injections when it comes time...breast implants...a whole new wardrobe from Gucci and Versace! What a fucking load you two have taken off my back!" Maggie said with glee. Maggie's speech had lightened the tension of his and Kent's revelation and Rex began to laugh. "I'll swear, if I didn't know you were a natural brunette, Maggie, you'd have to be the brunt of every blonde joke in comic history! You, big sister, are something else!" "Maggie, you don't know how scared I was to admit our relationship to you. I thought it would be years before you found out...but now that everything's in the open, I feel SO relieved!" Kent managed to say. "Blaine doesn't know yet, does he?" "As I said, Maggie, we only found out ourselves last night!" "Rex! Aren't you glad that you don't have to face Mom and Dad? I would LOVE to've seen the expression on their faces!" "I would have been disowned for sure!" Rex replied. "Yes...and they would have left me this dreadful house in Dad's will. MY! MY! See how wonderfully things work out sometimes?" "I suppose..." Rex replied. "Well, let me go and let you two have your FIRST breakfast together. I'll call you as soon as I talk to Blaine and let you know what time to meet us at the country club!" "Uh...that'll be great, Maggie. Thanks." Rex said, giving in. "OH! And don't worry about cleaning up the rest of the Bates Motel. I'll DO it myself or pay to have it done! How would the two of you like me to refurbish this place with brand new furniture, draperies, painting...THE WORKS! That'll be my wedding present for the two of you!" "Fine, Maggie...if you insist!" "I DO INSIST! Now let me go and leave you alone!" Maggie kissed Rex and Kent on their cheeks and went out the front door, happy as a peacock! <><><><><><><><><><><> Frank Whitcomb finished double-bogeying the ninth hole with a muttered "Fuck!" after his ball finally dropped into the hole. "Wanna go for the back nine, Frank?" Blaine asked while tallying up his own scorecard. Blaine had shot an impressive '44' on the front nine holes while Frank had trailed with a dismal '54'. "No, Blaine, you're too good for me today. I think we'd better stop here while I catch my breath and bow to your youth...once again," Frank replied. "There you go again with that fucking 'youth' business! You're not THAT old, Frank!" "Tell that to my tired old prostate..." "I'd rather not do ANY talking to your prostate or anyone else's today. I've had my finger up dozens of rectums this week and God knows I don't want to TALK to one." "I've had to probe a few assholes myself this week, Blaine." "It's too bad that neither of us is gay---then we could get a little sexual excitement while we're doing our examinations. Mix business with pleasure, so to speak!" "Oh, I wanted to ask--how about that kid...you know, Epperson's quarterback?...Did you get his reports back yet?" " Kent Stevenson? Yes, and it was bad news. So I'm asking if you'd assist me with his surgery?" "What kind of carcinoma is it?" "At first the doctors at the lab said it was choriocarcinoma..." "Oh, Jesus! The quick kind!" "Yes, but after extensive testing, they finalized their report by saying it was embryonal carcinoma." "Thank God for small favors! THAT we can treat without too much complication," Frank concurred. "He's so young, healthy looking, and I'm quite sure he would sire a whole litter of beautiful babies." "I'm gonna have him freeze some sperm for the future." "Wise thinking, Blaine." "Hey, old man! Would you like to go to breakfast or an early brunch?" "Maybe, but right now I'm thinking about going to the club bar to order a breakfast Bloody Mary." "Sounds great and very nutritional. Lots of Vitamin C!" The two partners put their golf bags and gear into the electric cart and drove back to the club bar. The golf course was beautiful but way too easy to ever host a PGA tournament. Still, nearly twenty years ago, Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer played an exhibition match for charity. It was unfortunate that the game wasn't sanctioned because they both shot some of the lowest scores in their careers. Arnold joked that it was just a step above 'Goony Golf', but both had had a lot of fun at the Epperson Golf and Country Club course. Blaine and Frank sat at the bar, stirring their spicy chilled Bloody Marys with long stalks of celery. "Ahhh! Just what the doctor ordered!" Frank said. "Damn, it was hot out there, especially for this early in the morning." "Do you believe what Vice-President Gore is proselytizing?" "You mean about global warming?" "Yes. Did you see his movie?" "'An Inconvenient Truth'? Yes, Maggie and I both watched it...then she bought about three dozen copies of the DVD to distribute to her special friends at her ladies' club luncheon. She and I both think that Gore is like Noah when he was preaching that everyone should build an ark for the oncoming disaster...and no one listened until the rains came. That fucking asshole in the White House won't accept global warming until his popsicle falls off its stick too soon." "What IS it with him? Can't he read? Doesn't he listen to advisors?" "Two things, Frank, he DOES listen to his advisors but it seems they have their own financial drums to beat and so they advise him incorrectly...and I suppose it's really not his fault. America voted for a man whose principles are as low as his I.Q.! Let Rove or Cheney tell him something and he believes it because he thinks they know EVERYTHING, so why should he investigate matters further?" "Did you see on TV where Donald Trump called him the worst President in history and said that impeachment proceedings should begin immediately for the way he lied to the American people." "They'd never get enough votes in Congress to convict him in an impeachment. He's got JUST enough men in Congress under his control to defeat any impeachment." Frank finished sipping his Bloody Mary through a straw and set the glass down on the bar. "Dast I have the courage to order a second one?" "You shall indeed and I'll join you for another myself!" Blaine replied, while holding up two fingers to the bartender. "Getting off the subject of politics for a moment, Frank..." "Please don't start in on religion.", Frank interrupted. "I'm enjoying myself too much on my Saturday morning off." Blaine laughed. "Religion? I was going to talk about sex." "Oh, then, rave on, MacDuff! We have the rest of the day to discuss it!" "Frank, do you know what a glory hole is?" "Blaine, I said I was old...NOT ancient! Of course I know what they are." "Have you ever seen one in a men's room?" "Oh, many! I...well, the first drink has hit me so I'm about to reveal a few secrets from my youth." "Oh?" "Yes, when I was in college...just after the Civil War, I think," Frank chuckled. "Our dorm was wide open, twenty-four-seven. No locks on any doors and every room could be invaded at any given minute by any given college mate. So a private session of masturbation was out of the question unless you could shoot off in a matter of seconds or didn't mind it while someone walked in on you to watch. We had no cars back then and dating was only with girls who were willing to walk to the movies or take a bus. Sex with girls was totally out of the question. None of us, so far as I know, was gay...BUT about half a mile down the road from the campus was a Greyhound Bus station. Inside the men's room were six stalls with doors WITH latches. Now picture this. Stalls two, four, and six...were for us college guys. Stalls one, three, and five were for the, shall we say, 'entertainers', so to speak." "What do you mean?" "Cocksuckers! We didn't know who the fuck they were! It didn't matter. My buddies and I formed lines at the doors of two, four, and six and waited our turn to go inside the booth, unzip our pants, whip out our dicks, push them into the glory holes and get off. Man! I had some of the best blowjobs of my life...especially from the 'entertainer' who serviced me in booth six." "The 'entertainers' WERE guys, weren't they, Frank?" "Hell, yes, they were guys. You don't think that the Greyhound Corporate Office would allow women to service their glory holes, do you?" "Jesus, Frank! Didn't you ever feel you were participating in homosexual activities?" "God, NO! I never saw the entertainer's face, his dick, his ass...NOTHING. I didn't know if he was old, young, black, white, gay or bi. I wasn't there to have a romantic fling or fall in love...man, I was HORNY and that was the best way my college chums and I knew how to get off. Ha! One Friday night after a week of exams, I was so fucking horny, I stood in line four times for four different B.J.`s." "Good Lord, Frank! How could you ejaculate four times in a row?" "Very simply. The lines were so goddamned long, by the time I got to the door to enter, I had already built up another orgasm to unload." "Jesus, Frank! What I was about to tell you seems so trite and unimportant now!" "Tell me, and let ME be the judge." "Well, I had my first and only confrontation with a glory hole last night." "Thank heaven you found out what they were and tried it before you reached MY age. Did you enjoy it?" "Well...yes, I guess I did." "So? What are you acting so dramatic about it?" "Oh, a few reasons. First, it was the only time I'd ever cheated on Maggie..." "Oh? What did your 'entertainer' look like? I bet you never saw him or had any conversation with him. I'll bet even more that you know absolutely NOTHING about him, so how can that be cheating on Maggie? It was like masturbation with a little anonymous help." "I...I DIDN'T know anything about him until a few hours later." "You went back for more?" "No...but as it turns out, my anonymous 'entertainer' was one of my patients!" "Oh, good God, NO!" "Yep!" "WOW! That's like getting your prom date pregnant when you're losing your virginity! That's really a horrible example of beginner's luck. How did you find out whom he was?" "According to him, he...he 'entertained' two more guys after me...and the last one was homophobic, experienced a severe guilt trip and beat the living daylights out of my patient. He's in the hospital and I had to remove his spleen and patch him up. Took hours! That's why I was late for our golf game this morning." "You haven't been to bed, have you?" "No. I was going to call you and bow out from our game, but I thought the morning air and exercise would make me feel better." "Jesus! Does HE know that you were one of his...clients?" "Yes. He followed me from work just to be near me and when the occasion arose for me to go to the bathroom to pee, he was mysteriously waiting there...unbeknownst to me...to 'entertain' me. I didn't know who he was until I got a call from County ER." "I...I don't know what to say, Blaine." "Ha! I don't either." The bartender brought the two additional Bloody Marys just as Blaine's cell phone buzzed. He looked at the LED and saw that it was Maggie calling. "Hi, sweetheart!" Blaine answered. "Hi, babe! How's your game going?" "Frank and I stopped after nine holes." "Oh? Are you still at the club?" "Yes, Frank and I are treating ourselves to a tomato juice, vodka breakfast." "Yummy! I wish I was there to have one with the two of you." "That's OK, love---I finished mine and so now I'm drinking yours! What's up? You seldom call me while I'm on the course. Did you get a call about one of my patients?" "No, but I want you to make a reservation for four at the club for dinner this evening." "Oh? With whom are we dining? Are Barbra Streisand and Doctor Steven Kiley in town? Doctor House? Doctor McDreamy and his spouse-of-the-week?" "No...just Epperson's newest and most handsome couple!" "God, Magpie! You want me to guess?" "No, because it would take you a month to ask about every name in the telephone directory and you STILL wouldn't guess who they are!" "Do you want to tell me now?" "No, babynuts! I want to see your face when I tell you in person! What time are you coming home?" "Maybe in about an hour. I might stop in to see Kent Stevenson at Rex's before I come home..." "NO! Come home first...THEN you can go to Rex's." "Dear God! Don't tell me that Rex finally found THE one and has asked her to marry him?" "You...you're only partially correct and I WON'T SAY ANY MORE! Just come home first! Okay?" "Sure, but I'm more confused than ever about your gossip! See you soon! I love you!" "I love you, too, honey. Give Frank a hug for me. Tell him to be on-call just in case you have a heart attack when you hear my news! BYE!" Maggie hung up the phone. Blaine sat there looking at his cell in a stupefied state of mind. "Bad news, Blaine?" Frank asked. "I don't know, Frank...but Maggie is sure fucking excited about something!" <><><><><><><><><> (To be continued in "But Who Knows Where Or When?" chapter eight...next week!)