Date: Wed, 8 Mar 2006 14:24:00 -0800 (PST)
From: Mickey S <njmcmick@yahoo.com>
Subject: Coy Boy, Chapter 5

This story is set in the fictional city of Trenton, New Jersey. Yes, there
is a real city by that name, but other than being a state capital on the
Delaware River, it bears little resemblance to the city in this story. This
is a work of fiction.

If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include
sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story,
please leave. The author retains all rights.  No reproductions are allowed
without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at
NJMcMick@yahoo.com.

Chapter Five

By the end of August my life had stabilized. The dishwashing job was boring
and didn't pay well, but it paid enough. I had bought some more socks and
underwear so I didn't have to wash clothes in the sink every few days. I
could hold off and go to the laundromat around the corner on the weekend,
although everything I owned still didn't completely fill one washer. I
worked out with Manny every day, with our workouts on the weekends extended
into hot jo sessions. He occasionally hinted that he'd like to take them
further, but he didn't push when I said no. He swore that he could see a
difference in my body after only a month of working with the weights, but
as much as I wanted to, I didn't see any change at all when I looked in the
mirror. I was still a skinny kid.

I went to Norman's for dinner every Saturday night. I started going a
little early and spent about an hour before dinner at the piano. I'd
noticed the second week that he'd had it tuned. I told him a little more
about my life, Aunt Aggie, Mom and Ralph, but I still didn't let on my real
age. I also didn't say anything about losing my life savings at the train
station. That was still an embarrassment and a sore spot for me. He talked
quite a bit about his life with Harry and what it was like to be gay back
in the seventies.

On Friday before Labor Day weekend I was feeling down all day. The
luncheonette wasn't going to be open on the holiday so I had a three-day
weekend coming up. But Betty and Luann told me Gert didn't pay us for
holidays, so I knew that the fifty bucks I'd managed to save would go
toward replacing the lost day's pay.

It wasn't the money that was bothering me, though. I realized about halfway
through the day what it was. Next week would be the beginning of the new
school year, and for the first time in my life I wouldn't be going. I was
one of those weird kids who actually enjoyed school. I liked English and
history, but math and science didn't do anything for me. Classes and
studying were okay, but it was more than that. Though I didn't have any
real friends, it made me feel like I had a social life just being around
other kids my age. And I wasn't a complete loner; I did talk to the others
and was a little bit a part of things. My participation in the social scene
didn't extend beyond school property, though.

My life had changed so much since I'd left home, but thinking about how all
of the other kids were going back to school next week and I wasn't made me
rethink the way things were going. What really brought me down was the
realization that I wasn't going anywhere in life without a high school
diploma, and I was two years away from that. And the way I was going I
wouldn't be getting any closer. I didn't know how I could solve that
problem.

When I got back to the house I went up to Manny's room to work out. He took
my mind off my worries with his joking and flirting. He got me a little
worked up with all of his touching and grabbing, but he had to leave for
work as soon as we were done so there was no relief, at least until the
next day. I showered, paid Lucille my rent and went out for something to
eat. I picked up a few pieces of chicken at KFC and headed for the park. I
had decided that a little time sitting on my rock on the riverbank might
make me feel better. I might even come up with some answers.

It was early and still daylight, so there wasn't much happening at the
cruising area as I passed through. I was still fascinated with the place
and over time I was getting braver. I didn't lurk behind trees watching the
cruising anymore. I strolled right through but I still didn't stop or even
slow down when someone checked me out. Now and then a guy would say
something to me, usually some corny pickup line, like 'Do you have the
time?' or "Got a match?' Sometimes he'd come right out and ask if I wanted
to have some fun. Whatever, I'd just smile, shake my head and keep on
going. Norman had said some of the cruising was for fun and some for money
but from what I saw most of them seemed to be having fun. Now and then I'd
see a guy getting out of the passenger side of a car stuffing something in
his pocket so I assumed he was selling. And there was one old guy around
Norman's age who'd sit in his parked Volvo with his hands on the steering
wheel and a couple of twenty-dollar bills folded lengthwise sticking up
between the fingers of his left hand. He was definitely buying.

I got to my rock, sat down and began to eat the chicken. I watched the
river flow past me and tried to think of a way to finish my high school
education. My first thought was that if I got a job in the evening like
Manny I might be able to go to school during the day. But then I realized
that they'd have to get my records from Chester and then they'd find out
how old I was. That was no big deal since most high school kids were
underage but I remembered how many different papers Ralph had to sign for
school all the time. Until I was 18, I would need a parent or legal
guardian just to get into school and once I was 18, I'd be a little too old
to be going back to school. I was resigned to working for low pay until I
graduated, but I didn't want to waste any time.

I knew there was a way that you could get the equivalent of a high school
diploma without going to school. One of the younger guys that Ralph worked
with had dropped out of school and then in his twenties went to classes at
night to finish. He said there was also a way you could study at home and
then take tests for your diploma. Of course, that was Pennsylvania and this
was New Jersey. I didn't know the details on how it all worked
anyhow. Studying at home sounded good to me, though. The less contact I had
with the authorities, the better. Maybe I could get some information the
next time I went to the library.

Then it occurred to me - Norman. He was a high school teacher. He probably
knew everything about how I could finish my education. Obviously I'd have
to tell him that I'd dropped out, but I didn't have to say when. And even
if at some point it came out, maybe it wouldn't be for a few more
months. By then I'd be 17 and he would have seen how well I was doing on my
own. I decided to go over to his house and see what he knew.

It was close to nine o'clock and dark as I walked across the park. I tried
to plan out what I was going to say. I had never been very good at lying
although I'd had more practice lately. I decided that I'd imply that I'd
dropped out of school to work a couple of years before. Once I got Norman
to tell me how the equivalency thing worked, maybe I could slip in a casual
question, asking if it worked the same way for dropouts under 18. Or maybe
not. I'd have to play it by ear.

I thought about Norman and our odd friendship. Odd mostly because of our
ages. He was probably closer to Aunt Aggie's age than Mom's, which put him
somewhere between being a parent and grandparent. I guess I thought of him
as an older uncle. Aside from Aunt Aggie, I'd never spent much time around
older people but he was sweet and told some interesting stories. And he was
a really good cook. I couldn't imagine why he liked to hang around with
me. As I got to the edge of the park I wondered if he'd be home. I knew
that he did some volunteer work during the week and was involved in a
couple of gay organizations. And he had some friends his own age as
well. Maybe he'd be out or be entertaining. When I got to the house I could
see lights on in several windows so that probably meant he was home. There
were no cars in the driveway and the only one on the street was across from
his house.

I went up to the front door and rang the bell. I waited several seconds. I
was a little nervous showing up unannounced like that and was about to ring
again when the door opened. Norman was dressed in a robe and looked very
surprised to see me.

"Jerry! What brings you here? Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, everything's okay. It's just that I was in the park and I thought of
something I wanted to ask you."

I felt bad because it was obvious from the way he was dressed, or not
dressed, that he was probably getting ready for bed, even though it was
pretty early. Then I looked down the hall and saw a hot blond guy leaning
against the doorway into the kitchen. He was about thirty and his shirt was
unbuttoned, exposing a slightly hairy chest. He was holding one of those
round brandy glasses in his hand. I panicked.

"Oh, shit, you're not alone. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt
anything. I've gotta go." I turned and started away.

"Are you sure you're okay, Jerry? You don't have to run off."

'Yeah, I'm okay. See you tomorrow."

I hurried down the sidewalk and turned up the street toward the park. I
felt like running but I didn't want Norman to see me if he was still
watching. As I walked I got more upset. When I got a ways into the park I
stopped and took a few deep breaths. I had been startled to see that Norman
wasn't alone. I think I was shook up enough when I realized that I'd
obviously interrupted something that was at least a little bit sexual. But
what really upset me was that I recognized the guy who was with Norman. He
was one of the guys I'd seen stuffing money into his pocket over at the
cruising area. He was a hooker, or whatever you call a male
prostitute. What was Norman doing with a guy like that?

I couldn't think straight as I walked through the park. When I got to the
cruising area it was a lot more crowded than it had been earlier. I wasn't
in the mood to watch the cruising so I just kept on moving. One of the
regulars, a slightly effeminate guy in his early twenties, stepped in front
of me.

"Hey, little stud muffin, what's your hurry?"

"Sorry, I'm not interested." I darted to one side to go around him but he
moved too, staying in front and blocking my way.

"C'mon, baby. I've seen you here a few times, always watching, never
playing. All the guys want you. How about you and me making them all
jealous?"

"I told you, I don't want to. I'm not into this." I moved to go in the
other direction.

"Then what are you doing hanging around here all the time? You just into
watching?"

He reached out to grab my arm, but I pushed his hand away and ran across
the road and up the hill toward the highway. Of all nights for someone to
come on to me. I wasn't ready to have sex with anyone, much less a stranger
in the park. And especially after seeing that guy with Norman.

When I got to my room I went to bed even though it was only ten o'clock. I
just didn't want to think about what I'd seen at Norman's and what it
meant. I was hoping that I'd fall right asleep, but I couldn't shut down my
mind. I must have tossed and turned for hours with the picture of Norman in
his robe and that guy with his shirt open. Obviously they were about to
have sex or they had just finished. It never occurred to me that someone
Norman's age might still be into sex. I mean, I guess I knew that older
guys did so it, I'd seen some at the cruising area, but I'd never thought
of Norman that way. He was a sweet, kind man. He was my friend. He'd loved
Harry for over thirty years. He wasn't the kind of guy who paid for sex
with strangers he'd picked up in the park. But that's just he was doing. It
was all wrong.

I did finally get some sleep, although it wasn't much. I felt exhausted
when I got up in the morning. I usually skipped breakfast on the weekends
since I had to pay for it, but I felt hungry, so I went to McDonald's for
an Egg McMuffin, home fries and orange juice. I walked around for a while
before going back to the house for my workout with Manny. When he opened
his door, I thought he looked as bad as I felt.

"You look like shit. Rough night?" I knew he usually met his friends at
Buddies, the gay bar on Broad Street, after work on Friday nights.

"You look as bad as I do, but at least I've got a good excuse. I met a hot
stud at Buddies last night. He took me back to his place and we took turns
fucking each other all night long. I hope you don't mind if we skip the jo
session after our workout. My dick's a little sore."

"No, that's okay."

I wasn't much in the mood for anything sexual at that point. It looked like
both of my friends were having sex the night before. At least in Manny's
case it was normal, though. I tried to just focus on our exercises, but
when we went out for our walk my mind kept wandering back to the night
before.

"Have you ever been down to the cruising area in the park by the river,
Manny?"

"Sure, who hasn't? You just stumble onto that place?"

"No, I noticed it a while ago. You know I spend a lot of time down by the
river. So do you go down there much?"

"Nah, I went a couple of times when I first heard about it, right after I
got to town, but I'm not really into sex in the great outdoors. One case of
poison ivy in your pussy can be a real turnoff. Why, don't tell me my
little virgin is thinking about sex in the bushes?"

"No, you know me, I'll probably die a virgin. It's just that in some ways
in seems so hot, all those guys meeting up for sex, but then again I
couldn't imagine doing it with a total stranger like that."

"Well, it's not really all that much different from what I did last
night. Yeah, at least he and I talked for fifteen minutes or so and he
bought me a drink, but we were still pretty much strangers when we got into
his bed. It's casual sex either way. Some guys are into it, some
aren't. Personally, I like dating, getting to know a guy, spending time
with him. But there's something so exciting about doing it that first time
with someone you don't know well. It's like an adventure where you just
never know how it's going to turn out. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's
a total flop."

"I think I'd be a little scared."

"Yeah, that's all part of the excitement."

"I heard that some of the guys in the park do it for money."

"Yeah, I've heard that, too, though I don't think that's what most of them
are there for."

"That seems pretty weird to me. I mean, it's one thing for two guys who are
all boned up for one another to get it on, but when it's just for money how
can it be sexy? I'd think neither one would enjoy himself. The guy paying
would probably be thinking how low he was because he couldn't get a guy any
other way. I know that would make me feel like shit. And how could the one
taking the money get off on it, knowing that he was having sex with a guy
he didn't really want? It's business, not sex, and so what's the point?"

"I suppose that lots of it is like that. But there are all kinds of reasons
why a guy would pay for sex, not just that he couldn't get it any other
way. From what I've seen and heard, it's mostly older guys renting younger
guys. The older guys could probably find other older guys to do it with for
free, but I guess they don't want that, so they pay for what they want. Or
maybe it's just simpler and more efficient. They don't have to waste all
that time cruising and flirting, working on a hookup, only to go home alone
and frustrated more often than not. They just cut to the chase and go for
it. I know one guy who is only 25 and pretty hot, but sometimes he pays for
it. He says it's not because he has to, but because when he pays he can be
sure of getting exactly what he wants."

"But what about the whores who take the money?"

"My, we're being a little judgmental here, aren't we? I guess there are all
kinds of reasons why someone would do it for money. For some it could be an
easy way to make a living. Or maybe some are sex crazy and don't want to
admit it, so they justify doing it so much by saying they're in it for the
money, not the sex. For some it could be an ego-stroking thing. And then
again I'm sure that some are just desperate for money. You shouldn't be so
quick to judge others, Jerry. You don't know where they're coming from."

"I guess, but it still seems pretty unpleasant to me."

I thought about telling him about Norman and the guy the night
before. Manny knew I had an older friend who I spent time with. I decided
that I shouldn't say anything. Even though Norman and Manny didn't know
each other and I was pretty annoyed with Norman, I still felt like I
shouldn't talk about him. He was my friend, after all.

Manny laughed. "Who knows, I may be peddling my ass down there next month
and I wouldn't want you dissing me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Last night at work they told us the cleaning company had lost its contract
with the state, so as of the first of October, I'm out of a job."

"Shit, what are you going to do?"

"Oh, I have a few ideas. I wasn't planning on cleaning offices all my life,
anyway. But don't worry, I don't think I'll be working the park."

When we got back to the rooming house I took a shower and lay down for a
nap. I was exhausted. I had also finally calmed down a bit. I was still
bothered by seeing Norman and that guy, but I wasn't so emotional about
it. I didn't know how I was going to face him for dinner that night,
though.

I decided to skip my piano practice and just show up in time for
dinner. Norman was a little concerned when he answered the door.

"You're late. I was worried that something had happened to you."

"No, I was just tired so I took a nap and then I was running behind."

I was pretty quiet all through the meal. He'd made shrimp scampi over
linguine and it was really good, but I wasn't paying all that much
attention to the food. I wanted to ask him about the night before but I
didn't know how to bring it up. After we'd eaten and cleaned up the
kitchen, we went into the den. He poured himself a brandy and that reminded
me of the guy standing there in the doorway. It must have been obvious that
something was on my mind.

"Is something bothering you, Jerry? I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to
talk last night when you stopped by. You said you had something to ask me."

I took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Um, yeah, I did, but right now
I have something else I want to know. What were you doing with that guy
last night?"

I was a little more blunt than I meant to be and Norman looked a little
embarrassed. "I've known Blake for some little time. He stopped by for a
visit."

"A visit? I know what he does. He's one of those guys who sells sex in the
park. You two were barely dressed. It looked like he was doing lots more
than visiting to me."

Norman's eyes flashed but when he spoke there was no emotion in his
voice. "I really don't see that that is any of your business, Jerry."

"But he's a whore! What are you doing, paying him for sex? It's just not
right." Okay, maybe I was still a little emotional about the whole thing.

"That's enough, Jerry. This is personal and you're prying. I don't have to
defend myself to you."

"But why, Norman? You're a good guy. You were in love with Harry. Why are
you doing something so ugly?" My voice was strained and I felt like I was
going to cry.

Norman got up, went over to the little bar and poured a second glass of
brandy. He handed it to me.

"Sip it slowly. You're getting distraught and you need to calm down."

I took a sip and it burned all the way down.

"Okay, I don't owe you an explanation for the way I live my life but I can
see that you're upset and so I'll try to make you understand. Basically,
I'm a man, and even though you may think that 58 years old is ancient, I
still have physical needs and desires."

"But with a guy like that? Don't you want a relationship with somebody
who's nice?"

"Yes, eventually, but I'm just not ready to move on to that yet. So I found
myself in an odd position. I'm not ready to try another relationship, but
I've never been one for casual sex, either. About a year ago, I thought of
the young men in the park, selling their services. I started going over
there, observing, chatting with some of them, looking to see if there might
be one I could be comfortable with."

"You interviewed the hookers?"

He chuckled. "Not exactly, but walking Dixie is a great way to strike up
innocent conversations with strangers. Anyway, Blake seemed nice. He's a
bit older than most of them down there and well-educated." He took a sip of
his brandy and thought for a minute. "Yes, I pay him for sex, but there's
more to it than that. There's physical affection, which is so important,
maybe more important to me than the sex itself. And companionship,
too. Afterward, we have a drink or two, talk, maybe listen to an
opera. It's just a very pleasant evening. I know that if it weren't for the
money Blake wouldn't be here, but I do think that he enjoys his evenings
with me as well."

"Aren't I good company? I could hug you now and then if you like. I can
always use some affection myself."

"Yes, Jerry, you are very good company. I can't tell you how much our
evenings together mean to me. But now don't take this the wrong way, but
you are very young. You're charming and refreshing and I'm very fond of
you, but it's nice to have an evening with someone a little older now and
then. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But you've talked about some of your other friends who
are older. Aren't they good for companionship?"

"Yes they are, but there's no sex with them. It's the whole package that I
need every now and then."

"I guess I just don't like the idea of you hanging around with those guys
in the park."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't. I have Blake's number and
when I want to see him, I call and we set up a date."

Now that I'd calmed down and Norman had explained the whole thing, I began
to realize that my emotional outburst had probably made me look like an
immature kid.

"I was really rude before, Norman. You're right, it was none of my
business. I'm sorry. This kind of stuff is all new to me, though. I guess
I've led a pretty sheltered life."

"That's okay, Jerry. It's all new to me as well. At times I can't believe
that I'm actually purchasing sexual services. It just goes to show that you
never know where life is going to take you."

"Yeah, I'll agree with you there." I took a swig of my brandy, forgetting
how strong it was and choked.

"And I'll take you up on that hug offer, Jerry. We all need as many hugs as
we can get."

It wasn't until I was on my way home later that I realized I hadn't thought
to ask Norman about finishing my education, which was the reason I'd gone
there in the first place the night before. It was just as well. I was
afraid I'd done some damage to our friendship by being so nosy and
condemning his relationship with Blake. I decided to wait a couple of weeks
and make sure things were okay between us before asking Norman for a favor.