Date: Sun, 23 Aug 2009 11:00:58 -0700 (PDT) From: K. Subject: Goodbye Love- part 2 Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you. Hope everyone is doing well. It took me a little longer than expected to post the second chapter. Sorry about that! I've received some great feedback about the first chapter and I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone who's written. It means SO much to hear from readers and get their feedback. It helps me to write a better story and to know what the readers like and what they don't like. Thanks again! Here's chapter 2, entitled, `Coming Home. Moving On.' `COMING HOME. MOVING ON' ****EDDIE**** "What time does his flight get in?" my sister, Holly, asks as we get off the freeway to the LAX airport. "He should be landing now," I reply checking my watch. "We'll get there just in time to meet him at baggage claim." "He better have brought us back some souvenirs," Holly jokes as she looks into the rearview mirror and tosses her hair. "He did say that he found the perfect gift for you while he was in Holland," I fill her in. "I actually missed him," Holly rolls her eyes. "Can you believe that?" I let out a laugh, not at all surprised that she missed him, "Holly, it's no secret that you and Jonathan have had a back and forth flirtation with each other since we were kids." It's true. When Jonathan and I were thirteen and Holly was fourteen it all started. The two of them would always pick on one another in a flirtatious matter. It's been this way ever since. When we get to the airport, we park the car and head to baggage claim to wait. As we arrive, there are bunches of people entering the baggage claim area. "Do you think these people are from his flight?" Holly searches through the crowed to try and spot him. "Hey losers!" we hear a loud voice call out. We look through the crowed and see Jonathan walking towards us. He has a big smile on his face. "Hey you," I say warmly giving him a big hug. "How was your trip?" I then take a deep breath and scoff, "Oh my God, you smell!" "Fucker. I was backpacking through Europe, did you think I was going to come back smelling like roses?" Jonathan asks. "I know, but they have showers in Europe, don't they?" I joke. "Shut up," Jonathan pushes me out of the way and gives Holly a hug, "How are you doing beautiful?" "I'm great," Holly replies as she holds him tightly. "Let's grab your things and get you something to eat." "Perfect. I'm starving," Jonathan says as we head to the baggage carousel assigned to his flight. "And let's get you a shower," I add. We get his things and get in my car and head to his place so he can shower before we go out to eat. "So how was the trip?" Holly asks. "Amazing," Jonathan replies as he stretches out in the backseat of the car. "I wish Eddie took up my offer to join me." "I thought he should too," Holly agrees as she looks over at me. "Yeah, well I had some stuff going on here that I needed to take care of," I reply. "Shit that's right! I'm a complete idiot. I forgot to ask, how are things going with all that? Has River moved out completely?" Jonathan asks. River and I broke-up the night before Jonathan left for his trip so him and I haven't gotten a chance to talk about it since. "Yeah," I nod my head. "He moved out the week you left." "Where is he now?" Jonathan wonders as he puts his sunglasses on and takes in the California air as he rolls the window down. "He moved into a studio apartment in North Hollywood," I answer. I don't like talking about River. Since our break-up, it's a topic that I try to avoid when I can. Not because I hate him or anything, I don't. Strangely, I don't have any sort of anger or hatred at him. When I think of River, I think of my failure in helping him. I feel like it was my responsibility to save him from his addiction and I couldn't. Holly kept telling me the week after we broke-up that it wasn't my fault that I can't blame myself, but it's not that simple. It's hard to explain. I myself don't fully understand my feelings. "Eddie!" Holly yells snapping me out of my thoughts. "What?" I ask confused. "Did you hear me?" She asks, "I was suggesting that we go out to eat in Pasadena after Jon cleans up." "That's fine," I nod. "You okay?" Jonathan looks at me with brotherly concern and gives me a light squeeze on my shoulder. "You spaced out for a bit." "I'm fine." I give him my best reassuring smile. "You're lying," he eyes me suspiciously. Ugh. It's the one thing about being best friends with someone, you can never hide anything from them, no matter how hard you try. It always comes up eventually. "He doesn't like to talk about it," Holly gives me a knowing glance. "Why not?" Jonathan asks me. "We all talk about everything. It's what we do. It's our dynamic." "Yeah, but I just don't feel like talking about it yet," I tell him. "When I feel like it, you'll be the first ones I talk to." "Promise?" Holly asks. "I promise," I give her a little smile. I honestly don't know where I would be if it wasn't for the love and support of these two people. Not wanting to wallow in this subject of River any longer I ask, "So what did you get for Holly while you were in Holland?" "I actually have it right here in my backpack," Jonathan reaches into his backpack he had sitting next to him. He unzips the bag and pulls out a pair of wooden clogs. "How original," Holly sarcastically comments when she sees the hideous shoes. "Well I was hoping the real gift to her would be my safe return," Jonathan says giving her a devilish smile. "I hardly noticed you were gone," Holly banters back. "I'm sure you did," Jonathan confidently refutes her claim. "I'm sure you were counting the days until I came home!" "Oh my God," I shake my head, "You two just need to have sex already!" "Excuse me?" Holly and Jonathan both ask looking at me in confusion. "Don't give me that bullshit," I shake my head. "We all know that you two are eventually going to hook-up." "I don't know what you're talking about," Holly says. "I wouldn't sleep with Jonathan if he were the last man on earth." "And I wouldn't sleep with Holly if you paid me," Jonathan adds. "Sure, that's believable," I sarcastically remark with a laugh. "Keep telling yourselves that." "I liked you better when you were spaced-out and not listening to a word we were saying a few minutes ago," Jonathan jokes. ****R IVER**** RING. RING. RING...RING. RING. RING... RING. RING. RING. I groggily wake up and grab my phone next to my bed. "Hello?" "Where are you?!" my assistant, Denise, asks me urgently. "Huh?" I ask confused. "You have a ten o'clock meeting with Mr. Takahashi! It's ten thirty!" Denise exclaims. "Fuck!" I yell. "Tell him I had an accident and will be there in thirty minutes." "Thirty minutes?!" Denise asks. "I need at least thirty minutes," I say getting out of bed. "Tell him I got in a car accident or something. You're my assistant, assist me in coming up with a good excuse." I hang up my phone and head to my bathroom. How did I oversleep? This is the third time in the past two weeks I've done that. I look at my nightstand and see the nearly empty glass of scotch I was drinking the night before. I almost forgot about that. While in the shower and trying my best to clean myself up quickly, I begin to think about all that's happened lately. I broke-up with Eddie and now live in this shitty studio. When I begin to feel sorry for myself, I remind myself that I did this for Eddie. I did this because it was best for him. I fucked up too much and had to give him a chance to be happy. When I think of the chance of making him happy then that gives me the determination to continue living like this. After I finish getting dressed for work I rush out to my car and drive off. You know, I really am the lucky one in all of this, some people don't know what their purpose in life is, I do. I was meant to make Eddie happy, but apparently not in the way I thought I would. I always imagined him and I would grow old with one another, but I know now that will never happen. When I finally arrive at my office I called up Denise to let her know I was on my way up. "I'm stepping into the elevator now," I told her. "Mr. Takahashi is pissed," Denise whispers. "I told him that you were the only witness to a hit and run." "That's good," I nod approvingly. "Remind me to give you a raise." "You better," Denise replies. "And I'm going to take the afternoon off." "You got it," I promise her as the elevator takes me up to my office on the ninth floor. "I'm almost there." When the elevator door opens, Denise is waiting for me with a frantic look on her face. "Get your ass to the conference room, now!" Denise takes my briefcase as I rush into the conference room where Mr. Takahashi and his secretary are impatiently waiting. "So sorry about the wait Mr. Takahashi," I extend my hand to shake his. He gives me a little glare before reluctantly taking my hand. "We had a meeting at ten," Mr. Takahashi sternly says. "It's now eleven. I've been waiting for an hour." "I know. I'm so sorry," I apologize again. "I was in a little car accident." "Your assistant said you were the only witness to a hit and run," Mr. Takahashi raises an eyebrow as he looks at me skeptically. "Right, yeah, I got into a minor car accident after I witnessed the hit and run," I tried to recover. How could I forget about the lie that Denise made up for me?! "I was...uh..." "The one thing I hate more than being kept waiting is being lied to and I have a feeling that any further business with you would be unwise," Mr. Takahashi says getting up. "I'm going to go." "No. Please Mr. Takahashi, let me explain," I desperately plead with him, but he shakes his head and walks out. I stand in the now empty conference room. I never lost a client like this before. No one has ever walked out on me this way. I blew it. "I just saw Mr. Takahashi leave," Denise says rushing in. "What happened?" "He fired me from the case," I say quietly. "River, you needed this Takahashi case," Denise informs me. "Remember what Mr. Reynolds said?" "I know Denise!" I snap. My boss, William Reynolds told me that I wasn't pulling my weight in the company lately and the next few jobs were very crucial for my future here at the company. "Shit." "So what are you going to do?" Denise asks. I shake my head, "I have to face up to it I guess. I might be out of a job by the end of today." "How could you oversleep on the day of such an important meeting?" Denise asks, genuinely concerned. I shook my head, not wanting to admit why I overslept. I can't let her know that the real reason why I overslept was because I accidentally drank too much the night before. Besides, it was a one-time thing. It won't happen again... ****EDDIE**** When we get to Jonathan's place, he goes to take a shower while Holly and I fix us a few drinks. She has a vodka martini while I decide to just have water. "You haven't had a drink since you and River broke-up," Holly comments. "You weren't the one who had the problem with alcohol." "I just feel weird drinking after all that," I shrug. "Is that weird?" "Sort of, but I guess it's understandable," Holly says. "You just have to get rid of the ghosts of that relationship." "I know," I nod, taking a sip of my water. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Holly asks me. I debate shrugging it off and changing the subject, but one thing has been bothering me and I need some advice, "Why do you think he broke-up with me?" As I ask that question, a fresh and clean Jonathan walks out into the living room to join us. "Wait, he broke-up with you?" Jonathan asks. "I thought you broke-up with him." "No," I reply. "He ended it. It's weird because earlier that evening he was telling me that things were going to be different and he was going to change." ****JONATHAN**** When I hear that River was the one who ended it, I realized why he broke-up with Eddie. He did it because of me, because of what I said to him when I went to his office. I told him that he needs to let Eddie go. I still haven't told Eddie that I went to see him. I don't know if he would get mad at me or not, but I don't want to take any chances. "Alcoholics can be unpredictable," Holly says to Eddie. "It's for the best." "I guess," Eddie says. "I just wish things worked out differently." "I know," Holly says giving Eddie a hug. "Besides, there are tons of hot guys out there waiting for you," I tell him. "And you're not going to meet them here in my apartment. So let's go out and celebrate my return." "Okay," Eddie laughs. As we're walking out, I glance over at Holly who gives me that beautiful smile that always makes me melt a little. I know I put up this front that I don't have any feelings for her, but I have to admit...there are certain feelings th ere. I wonder how horrible things would turn out if her and I ever did anything... "Why are you staring at me?" Holly asks, snapping me out of my daze. Shit. I have to quickly recover. "Stop flattering yourself. I was looking at the big zit you have on your nose." "Shut up! I do not have a zit," Holly exclaims slapping me on the arm as we head out. I then see her glance in the mirror I have near my front door and she quickly looks at her nose before leaving. ****EDDIE**** We find a cute little bistro and get a table on the outdoor patio area. It's a beautiful night, the breeze is warm and you can see the stars. People are walking down Colorado Blvd. with shopping bags and window shopping. I think Pasadena might be my favorite part of Los Angeles County. It's a major city, but it still has charm and a quaint feel to it. "As beautiful as Europe is, it's always nice to be back home," Jonathan says as he takes in the open air. "Isn't that the truth?" Holly asks. "No matter where you go or how much fun you have, it's always good to be back home." As Jonathan and Holly talk some more, I get to thinking about what they are saying. I think that's one of the reasons why I've survived this break-up with River. Jonathan and Holly are my home. No matter what, I always know I have them to turn to. I look across the street and see a new little art gallery that must have just opened up recently since I don't remember it being there a couple months ago. In the window there's a little sign that says, "Featuring Dell Madison." Why does that name sound familiar? I know I've heard it before. "Who's Dell Madison?" I ask interrupting Jonathan and Holly's flirtation with each other. "Dell Madison?" Jonathan asks. "Never heard the name." "I have," Holly says. "I just read about him. He's supposed to be some up-and-coming artist. I read about him in the newspaper yesterday. Why do you ask?" I suddenly remember why I know the name. He's the artist who gave me that painting on my anniversary with River. "He has some stuff on display at that gallery across the street," I say. "I'm going to go say hi." "Why?" Jonathan asks. "He gave me a painting last month," I reply. "It was supposed to be a gift for River on our anniversary. I'll be right back." "Is this Dell Madison your type?" Jonathan asks. "I don't think so," I reply. "From what I remember he wasn't the type I usually go for. This one seems to have his act together while I usually go for alcoholics." "Wow, he's already making jokes. I thought it would be too soon," Jonathan says. "Just thought I'd test it out and see if I was okay joking about it," I say. "And?" Holly asks. "It's too soon," I conclude. It didn't feel right to joke about my relationship with River. As dysfunctional and messed up as it was, it was still a big part of my life. "I'll be right back." ****HOLLY**** "It's good you're back," I tell Jonathan as I watch Eddie go across the street. "He really needs us right now." "How's he been?" Jonathan asks. "He seems fine, but you know Eddie, he doesn't like to show how vulnerable he really is," I reply. "He puts on a good tough act, but I think you and I are the only ones who can see through that." "I don't know why he stayed with River for so long," Jonathan shook his head. "Eddie can do a lot better than that bastard. That's why I went to go talk to him." "River?" I ask confused. "Yeah," Jonathan nods. "I talked to him the day before I went on my trip. I told him that he needs to let Eddie be happy." "So you told him to break-up with Eddie?" I ask. "Pretty much," Jonathan replies. "Don't tell Eddie though." "I can't believe you did that!" I scold him. "You have to tell him." "He'll get pissed at me," Jonathan counters. "He'll tell me that I interferred and butted my head in where it didn't belong." "Well...you did." I roll my eyes. As much as I care for Jon, he can sure say some dumb things. "You need to tell him what you did." "Fine!" Jonathan raises his arms in defeat. "I will...eventually." He sees my look of disappointment and sighs, "I was just trying to help him." "I know," I nod. "But you did it the wrong way." Jonathan takes a sip of his drink and looks down, "I guess you're right." He looks like a little kid who just got scolded by his mother. I have to admit...it's kind of cute. "It was sweet of you to try and look out for him," I console. "He's my best friend," Jonathan shrugs. "I just want him to be in a good relationship." "I understand that," I reach over and take hold of his hand. Jonathan smiles at me and I feel his fingers interlace with mine, "So maybe I don't have to tell him?" I quickly pull my hand away and slap him on the wrist. "No you still have to!" I roll my eyes. ****EDDIE**** I go across the street and into the gallery. I want to play it cool so I look around casually before I spot him. He's actually a lot better looking than I remember. He has sandy-blond curly hair, and he has a good physique, he looks as if he stays in shape, but doesn't try too hard to look overly worked-out. He looks at me for a few brief moments, as if trying to register how he knows me. I give him a polite smile and wave. "I know you," he says approaching me. "Where do I know you from?" "You gave me a painting about a month ago," I reply. "That's right! You're Eddie," Dell says. "I gave you, `Hope.' That was one of my favorite pieces. It was for your boyfriend, right? It was meant to symbolize a good future with him. How did he like it?" "I never got around to giving it to him," I pause for a moment before explaining. "We broke-up." "Oh I'm sorry," Dell gives the polite head tilt that Holly and my co-workers gave me when I told them the news. "I hope my painting wasn't a jinx." "It wasn't your painting," I assure him. "It was a break-up that was in the works for a long time." "That's too bad," Dell sighs. "I don't have anything really deep or eloquent to say except that break-ups suck." "Yeah well," I shrug, we both go quiet, not too sure what to say next to each other. It's tough starting a conversation up with someone you hardly know. "Anyway, I just saw your name out front and wanted to say hi." "I appreciate that," Dell smiles. He has these smiling eyes that I can't help but be slightly attracted to. "What are you up to this evening?" "I'm actually having dinner with my sister and friend across the street," I reply. "How are things going here?" I look around and see that there are quite a few people in the gallery. That article in the newspaper must have been good publicity. "Not bad," Dell replies. "I've sold two paintings so I'd say it's a good night so far." "Awesome," I smile. "Well, I should let you get back to selling your stuff." "Okay," Dell says. "Thanks for stopping by." "No problem. Maybe I'll run into you again sometime," I say. I can't possibly be attracted to him, can I? No. It's too soon for anything like that. I'm still mourning my break-up with River. As I begin to walk away Dell calls out, "How about running into me tomorrow for coffee?" I turn around back to face him. "Uh...sure. That could be fun." "Great," Dell smiles. "I haven't lived in this area for too long and could use a friend to show me around if you have the time." "Yeah, no problem," I reply. "Want to meet at the coffee shop down the street at noon?" "I'll see you then," Dell says. ****DELL**** After Eddie leaves, I smile to myself. He was cuter than I remember...and single now. I wonder... I haven't lived in LA very long. I moved here from San Diego about three months ago. This is the fourth move I've made in the past two years. So far it's been good. I think this is definitely a good area for me to get more exposure for my work and thankfully I was able to find a loft where I had enough space to eat and sleep as well as work. It's always a little scary moving to a new place, but I feel I've done it so many times now that it's more exciting than anything else. It's fun to explore the unknown. I think that's why I became an artist, through my work I'm able to explore parts of myself I didn't know I had. Eddie just left and I'm already excited about tomorrow. Is that lame? I feel like a little school girl who has a crush. Truth be told, I know this city pretty well. I just wanted an excuse to hang out with him. Even if nothing happens between us, it'll be nice to have another friend in LA aside from Ella, my neighbor at the complex I live at. She's an actress aka waitress. She's pretty chill, is always up for a good time and having fun, not to mention the fact that she's beautiful. She has supermodel looks. Apparently she modeled for some fashion magazines in Japan, but hasn't had much luck in America. The apartment building I live in is filled with very artsy people. Aside from me and Ella, there's another tenant who lives on the floor below me who's a writer. The tenant in the apartment right above me is a photographer. Just recently a singer moved into the building too, but Ella's the only one who's met him. It's cool being surrounded by all these art-friendly people. It makes it a really fun place to live. My thoughts are interrupted by my cell phone ringing. I look at the caller-ID and speak of the devil, it's Ella. "What's up Ell?" "How's it going?" Ella asks in her care-free voice. "It's great," I reply. "I met a guy." "I was referring to your art, but this is so much better!" Ella squeals in excitement. "Who is he?" "He's this guy I met briefly about a month ago," I answer. "We're hanging out tomorrow and he's going to show me around L.A." "But I already showed you around L.A." Ella sounds confused. I give her a few moments to let her understand my motive, "Oh I see. You just needed an excuse to see him." "Exactly," I laugh. I then see a few potential buyers approach me. I quickly whisper into the phone, "I have to go, but I'll come by later tonight with some margarita mix." "Sounds perfect! I'll make some tofu burgers. Bye!" "You're the artist, correct?" a free-spirited looking woman in her mid-forties asks as she approaches me. "Yes, I am." I put my phone away in my pocket. I hate to appear unprofessional. "You're work is beautiful," she says. "I love that oil painting with the greens and yellows. She gestures to a piece on the wall opposite us in the gallery. "What technique did you use for that?" "That one I poured with acrylic," I answer. "It's poured?" she asks with an approving nod. "I love it. What's it called?" I can't help but smile. The name is very appropriate to how I'm feeling now, "A new chapter." ****RIVER**** They fired me. I can't believe they fired me. I tried explaining to my boss that it was one mistake, but he brought up stuff from the past that I was hoping he'd forgotten. Yes, I fell asleep during a board meeting two years ago, but it's because I was tired. And yes, I came to work drunk once, but that was one time and it was only because I took a client out for lunch and didn't eat much so the alcohol hit me harder than I expected. "What are you going to do now?" Denise asks me as she helps clean out my office. "No fucking idea," I shake my head. "This is such a nightmare." "I'm sorry River," Denise gently rubs my back. "Will you be okay?" "Yeah," I nod. "You can go home. It's not like I'm your boss anymore." I lost my job. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. After I clean my office out and say goodbye to Denise I head back to my crappy studio apartment. I hate this complex. The people here are all so bohemian. I don't understand the lifestyle they lead. I met one tenant and when she asked what I do for a living I told her that I'm an accountant, but when I mentioned I occasionally sing in bars she clung on to the idea that I'm a singer and that's my only profession. Speak-of-the-devil, she's coming down the stairs of the building with her laundry in hand and a bag of quarters. "Hey River!" "Hey Ella," I smile politely. "When am I going to hear you sing?" She stops me from moving further with her laundry basket. "Sometime," I reply, being as friendly as I can, considering the mood I'm in. "I'll let you know the next time I'm performing." "I can't wait!" Ella says. "I'll see you later." "Bye," I mutter as I continue my walk up the five flights of stairs to my place. Once inside my place, I'm in no mood to wallow in my thoughts. I need to forget this shitty day. There's only one thing that can cure me of my misery. Thank God for alcohol. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I do drink more than necessary, but I don't think it's a problem. It's something that I can control. It was never the big problem that Eddie thought it was. It's just something I drink occasionally to calm my nerves. I have a high stress job, correction, I HAD a high stress job. "FUCK!" I scream out loud. What the hell am I going to do now? Before I pour myself a drink, there's someone I really want to talk to. I take out my phone and call Eddie. "Hi," Eddie answers in a confused voice. I'm sure he's surprised to hear from me. "Hey," I reply nervously. "How are you?" "I'm doing okay. I just got home from dinner with Jon and Holly," Eddie answers. "What's up?" "I just had a rough day at work and wanted to talk to someone," I honestly reply. "Rough day at work?" Eddie asks. "Is it the Takahashi account?" "You can say that," I reply. We both go silent. This is the first time we talked since I moved out. I used to be able to talk to him about anything, now suddenly I'm nervous. "Are you okay River?" Eddie sounds concerned. This is one of the many reasons I love him. He still is sweet and caring even after I broke-up with him. He's the ultimate good guy. "I'll be fine," I sigh. "I'm sorry to have bothered you." "It's okay," Eddie replies. "So what happened at work?" "It's not important," I decide to not tell him what happened. "I just wanted to hear your voice. You sound good." "I'm hanging in there," Eddie replies. I take a deep breath. This isn't fair to him. I shouldn't be calling him like this. "I should let you go." "It's okay," Eddie says. "I can talk." "No, it's fine," I lie back on my bed. "I shouldn't have called. Take care Eddie. Good night." I hang-up the phone before he has a chance to say anything back. I really miss him. ****EDDIE**** That was weird. It's been a while since I've heard from River and then out of the blue he calls? It's such a random and quick conversation too. I wonder if he's okay... Maybe I should go over and check on him... No. It's not my responsibility anymore. He said he's okay. I have to let him take care of himself. Besides, I have to get some sleep. I have a lot of site seeing to do with Dell. It'll be fun showing him around Los Angeles. I love exploring the city. I've lived here my whole life and still find new things every time I go out. It's part of the charm of this big metropolis. But what if River is in trouble? He said there's stuff going on at work. Dammit! Old habits die hard I guess. I still can't help but worry about him. "Just forget about it," I say out loud to myself. "He'll be fine." I need to distract myself....I know! I'll pick out my clothes for tomorrow! I go to my closet and look through my wardrobe. If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's my clothes. I must admit, I have some awesome clothes. So I need to find an outfit that looks good, but doesn't look like I'm trying too hard. I rifle through my clothes before I settle on a pair of boot cut Seven jeans and a green argyle sweater I bought on sale at Banana Republic and I'll wear my red and yellow Nike's. I think that will look good. It's my preppy/casual outfit and the Nike's give it a little bit of an athletic flair. I have to admit, I'm a bit excited about hanging out with Dell tomorrow. I don't know why, but there's something about him that intrigues me. I don't know if it's romantic intrigue or just friendship...we'll see. ****JONATHAN**** "Thanks for helping me do my laundry," I say gratefully to Holly as she helps me fold my clothes I took out of the dryer. "No problem," Holly replies as she hold up my boxers. "You're so lucky I'm doing this." "I know," I laugh and grab the boxers from her to fold them myself. "So Eddie seemed pretty happy after he stopped by the gallery," Holly noted. "You think there might be something there with the artist?" "I wouldn't put too much into it," I reply. "If anything it'll be a rebound." "You're probably right," Holly says. We finish folding the laundry and relax on my sofa together. I turn on the TV to drown out the silence. I love when Holly and I can just relax like this. It's fun. It's comfortable. It feels...right. It feels SO right. I don't know what's come over me, but I feel like I need to tell her. The moment is right. We're just hanging out and relaxing, the two of us. "Can I ask you something?" I turn to face her. Holly looks over at me. Our eyes connect. She has the most beautiful blue eyes, it's like looking into the ocean; deep, beautiful, full of wonder. I want to tell her...something, anything that would make her know that I do feel things for her. While I was away in Europe she was all I thought about. I guess distance really does make the heart grow fonder. "What is it?" Holly asks, she tilts her head to the side and lets her long brown hair fall down the side of her face. God, she's beautiful. "I was...wondering," I begin, trying to build up my courage. "Yes?" Holly asks, her hopeful blue eyes look at me earnestly. Just say it! It's like ripping off a band-aid, I just have to say it and get it over with. Okay...here I go. "I was wondering..." Shit. I feel myself losing confidence. Quick! Just say it! "I was wondering...do you really think it's necessary I tell Eddie that I spoke to River?" I chickened out. Dammit! Holly jerks her head back, surprised by my question. She then rolls her eyes, "Yes. For the last time, you need to tell him." She sits back up and turns her head back to the TV screen. Fuck. I blew it. ****EDDIE**** The next day, I arrive to the coffee shop and spot Dell sitting alone at a table reading the newspaper. I stare at him for a moment. He is REALLY cute. "Calm down," I whisper to myself. "It's just two friends hanging out." Dell must have sensed someone was looking at him because he averts his eyes away from the newspaper and turns to me. I smile and wave. I'm sure I look like a complete dork. He smiles and waves back. "Okay. Here it goes," I say quietly as I head over to him. ************************************************************************** To Be Continued... With any comments, questions or feedback, please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Thanks so much!