Date: Tue, 8 Sep 2009 23:50:44 -0700 (PDT) From: K. Subject: Goodbye Love- part 3 Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you. Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry it took me a little longer than planned to post this chapter. Hope you all like it and are enjoying the story so far. Here's part three, titled, 'Taking Chances.' `TAKING CHANCES' ****JONATHAN**** Sunday- 7:00 AM "Pick-up. Pick-up. Pick-up," I repeatedly say to myself quietly as my cell phone continues to ring. I'm hiding in the bathroom, trying to be as quiet as possible. RING. RING. RING. "Hello?" Eddie finally answers in a groggy voice. "Thank God!" I say a little more loudly than I wanted to. I lower my voice again, "I need help." "What kind of trouble can you be in at seven in the morning?" Eddie asks. "I think I did something really stupid," I tell him. "Why are you whispering?" Eddie asks. I hesitate before telling him. How did I get myself into this mess? ****19 Hours Earlier**** Saturday- 12:00 PM I look at my watch and quickly call up Eddie. "What's up?" Eddie answers. "I just wanted to catch you before you met up with Dill for your date and wish you luck." I lean back in bed, jet-lagged from my trip. "His name's Dell and it's not a date," Eddie corrects me. "Whatever it is, have fun," I say. "Thanks," Eddie replies. "I'm walking down Colorado Blvd. right now heading to the coffee shop to meet him. Did you really just call me to wish me luck?" "No. I was calling to see if I could borrow your car tonight," I answer honestly. "Tonight? I don't know if I'll be back in time," Eddie replies. "You plan on being out with him all day?" I ask surprised. That's a long time to spend with someone you hardly know. Eddie replies, "Los Angeles is a big city. I'm not sure how long it'll be exactly. Tell me again why you sold your car before you went on your trip?" "It was expensive and I wasn't driving it much," I say. It's true, I can walk to work from my place and the only time I drive is when I'm lazy or I go to visit my mom in Santa Barbara. I figure for the trips to S.B. I can borrow Eddie or Holly's car. "Why do you need a car tonight?" Eddie asks. "I want to take someone out this evening," I answer. I just don't mention that the person I want to take out is Holly. "Well, don't count on me being back in time," Eddie replies. "Borrow Holly's. I'll talk to you later." "Bye," I say before hanging-up. I can't borrow Holly's car. The whole reason I wanted to borrow Eddie's was so I could be a gentleman and pick Holly up and drive her myself. Oh well, it's the 21st century, I guess she'll have to drive. I scroll through my contacts list on my phone until I find Holly's number and dial it. "Hey Jon," Holly answers. "Hey Holl," I reply. Is it pathetic that I smile at the sound of her voice? "How's your day going?" "Good," she answers. "I'm walking down Melrose now looking for a dress." "A dress? What for?" I ask. "I have a date tonight," she answers. My heart sinks. "A date? You didn't mention anything about a date yesterday," I point out. "He called me this morning," Holly answers. I sit up in my bed, no longer tired. "Who is this guy?" I ask skeptically. "His name is George," Holly answers. "He's an editor of this nature magazine I submit some photos to." "George? You're going out with a guy named George? That's a boring name," I scoff. "And Jonathan is so exotic?" Holly shoots back. "Why you going out with this guy?" I ask, trying to play it cool. "Because he's cute, he asked and I'm available," Holly answers. "You have a reason why I shouldn't?" She's given me a perfect opening, but I don't want to tell her over the phone. "I guess not." "Fine. Well, I should get going," Holly says. "Did you call for a specific reason?" "I wanted to invite you over for dinner tonight, but I guess you'll be busy." I get up from my bed and look out my window at the busy weekend traffic on the streets below. "Yeah. I'll be busy," Holly says in an almost defensive tone. "I guess it's just a movie and pizza for me tonight," I try to joke. "Have fun on your date." "Have fun with your movie and pizza," Holly says. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." "Yeah," I nod my head. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." Holly hangs up the phone. I rest my forehead against the window and feel the warmth of the sun as it hits my face. Why am I such chicken shit when it comes to Holly? I guess a part of me is afraid of what could happen. If things worked out between us that would be great, but if they didn't, that would ruin things between her, Eddie and me. Our little trio would be broken. I would be the one who would have to leave the group considering Holly and Eddie are brother and sister. What should I do? ****EDDIE**** I arrive to the coffee shop and spot Dell sitting alone at a table reading the newspaper. I stare at him for a moment. He is REALLY cute. "Calm down," I whisper to myself. "It's just two friends hanging out." Dell must have sensed someone was looking at him because he averts his eyes away from the newspaper and turns to me. I smile and wave. I'm sure I look like a complete dork. He smiles and waves back. "Okay. Here it goes," I say quietly as I head over to him. "Hey! How's it going?" "Great. How are you?" Dell stands up from his seat and gives me a hug. I can smell his aftershave. He smells great. "I'm good," I answer. "So are you ready? I have a long list of things for you to see today." "All set." Dell grabs his jacket from the back of his chair and we head to my car and drive off to our first destination, Santa Monica. "I love Santa Monica," I tell him as we hop on the freeway. "It's a great place to people-watch." "I love people-watching," Dell comments. "Me too!" I answer a little too enthusiastically. It's true though, people-watching is one of my favorite things to do. I like going somewhere busy and just sitting at a coffee shop and watch all the different types of people walk by. It's amazing how everyone is unique in his or her own way. Some are eccentric, some or reserved, some are loud, some are quiet. It's my favorite past time. "So what do you have planned for us after Santa Monica?" Dell asks. "Well, since you're an artist, I thought you might enjoy going to the Getty in Malibu," I bring up. "Sound good?" "Perfect," Dell smiles. "I really appreciate you doing this." "My pleasure." I smile back at him. "To tell you the truth, it's nice to hang out with someone new. It's a refreshing change that I've needed." "Oh yeah? Why's that?" Dell asks. "Since my ex and I broke-up, I've been in a bit of a rut. I haven't really gone out much or anything, just been hanging out with my sister. So this is a welcome change," I explain. "Well I'm glad you're equally excited about today," Dell replies. "I definitely am." Him and I share a look with one another. It's a look that can either mean the beginning of a beautiful friendship..or maybe something else. Why do I have these feelings? I shouldn't be feeling this way already. I'm recently single. I need time to heal. I shouldn't be having these thoughts about Dell. ****DELL**** He's really cute. I can't get over how adorable Eddie is. He isn't typically cute. His dark, curly hair sits messy atop his head, he has a slightly crooked smile, the left side of his mouth goes up a little higher than his right side, it gives his face character which otherwise is fairly plain. However, it's his eyes that really draw you in. They're a simple shade of brown, however, there is a twinkle in his eyes. It lights up his whole face. When you look into those eyes, there's a depth in them, a mystery that you want to discover and the only way to do that is to really like him. His caring and gentle personality makes it really easy to like him. "So how do we get to Santa Monica from here?" I ask. I already know all the places that Eddie's taking me, but for the sake of spending time with him I'm pretending to be naïve to the city. Eddie points to the sign for the South 110 freeway entrance, "We take the 110 to the 10 West. It's actually pretty simple. How long have you lived in Los Angeles?" "Three months," I answer. "And you haven't been down to Santa Monica yet?" Eddie asks in shock. "It's such a landmark of L.A." "Nope, not yet." That's a lie. I have seen it. I actually go there often. I was there two days ago. There are so many different types of people and colors there. It's a great place to get inspiration for my work. Ella was really excited for me when I told her about Eddie. After leaving the gallery last night I went to Ella's place and the two of us hung out and talked about Eddie. We discussed the pros and cons of trying to pursue something with him. I have to admit, I'm still debating if it's a good idea for me to even attempt to make a move on him. On the pros list, he's cute, he's single, he likes my art, and so far he seems normal (which is a big step up from my last couple boyfriends). On the cons list, he just recently got out of a relationship. It's the only con I can think of, but it's a pretty major one. He could be on the rebound, maybe making a move on him now would result in nothing more than a minor fling that means nothing to him in the end. When we get to the pier Eddie looked at me enthusiastically, "Isn't it amazing?" he asks, searching my face for a shared enthusiasm. "It's great!" I say, doing my best to act as impressed as I was the first time I saw it. I can tell that he's very passionate about Southern California, he can see a beauty in everything. It's a great trait to have. "I remember when I first got my license, I would come down here all the time with my sister and my best friend," Eddie explains. "Even to this day there's something new I notice every time I come here." "I can imagine," I answer. I completely agree with him. Every time I've come down here I see something that I haven't seen before. Eddie points to a bunch of people entering the Carousel Building. "That's the Carousel Building, right now there's a children's art exhibit going on. Want to check it out?" "Definitely," I nod as we head over there. "This was the main reason why I wanted to take you here," Eddie says. "They always have different things going on down here, but I figure since you're an artist it would be fun for you to see things that children have done." I look at him and smile. He's an incredibly thoughtful guy. We hardly know one another, yet he somehow knows the type of stuff I would like to do or see. He's definitely something special. We go into the building and see the vintage Merry-Go-Round and lined up on boards are tons of pieces of art done by children. I love looking at children's art, there's innocence about it that one can't do once you become an adult. It's sad in a way. You look at these beautiful creations and they're filled with such optimism and hope. Their work isn't tainted. I wish my artwork was filled with the type of happiness that a child can create. "It's amazing how talented some of these kids are, huh?" Eddie asks. "It's incredible," I reply. "I remember painting and drawing all the time when I was a kid. It's when I realized I wanted to be an artist. I would always have my parents submit my art to different children's contests that the local public library held." "That's cute," Eddie says. "Where did you grow-up?" "Seattle," I answer and take a moment to fondly remember my childhood. "Have you ever been there?" "No," Eddie answers. "I heard it's nice though." "It's great," I reply. "There's so much greenery. It's really scenic." "How long did you live there?" Eddie asks as we continue to look at the children's artwork. "I moved away when I was eighteen," I reply. "I moved to Santa Barbara then I went to New York for a while, then Boston, Miami, San Francisco, St. Louis, San Diego and finally here." "Wow, you've lived in a lot of different places," Eddie says taking a deep breath. He seems to hesitate before asking this next question, "What keeps you moving to different places?" "Honestly? I'm not sure," I reply. I've been asked this question before and I never know how to answer, "It's a feeling I get. One day I just wake-up and realize that it's time to move on. I stay as long as it feels right." "Isn't it hard to leave a place once you've been there for a little while?" Eddie asks. "What about friends?" "It's a little hard to say goodbye," I admit, "But it's cool because now I have friends all over the country. There's always someone to visit." "I guess that's true," Eddie nods. "So how long do you think you'll stay here?" "We'll see," I smile. "Come on, let's go out by the water." ****EDDIE**** After looking at the artwork, Dell and I walk outside and find a vacant bench overlooking the ocean. As we sit down to relax, our hands gently graze one another. When our skin touches, I feel a tingling sensation run through my body. It's a feeling I've had before, though it was a long time ago. I first felt it when River kissed me on our first date. It's a nice feeling, a safe feeling and I have it when I'm with Dell. I keep hearing a voice in my head telling me that it's too soon to like another guy. But is it? "It's beautiful today," Dell says as he moves his head from right to left to take in all the surroundings. I nod my head in agreement. The sun is warm on my face. The sound of people laughing and talking makes me smile. It's one of those perfect Southern California days. I wish the sun would never set. "Can I ask you something?" Dell asks. "Sure." I focus my attention on a pair of seagulls about ten feet in front of me fighting over a piece of bread a little girl tossed their way as she walked by. "What happened to you and your ex?" Dell asks. "When we first met last month you seemed so happy with him." I had a feeling he was going to ask me about River. It's an inevitable question I guess. "He has certain drinking issues," I answer. I notice that I'm still trying to find a way to word my explanation gently. I still don't want anyone to think bad of River. I'm still trying to protect him. I fix my gaze straight ahead, even though I can feel Dell's eyes on me. He wants me to explain a little further. "It's not completely his fault." I add. "He's had a rough upbringing." "He's an alcoholic?" Dell asks. I nod my head. He then continues to ask, "How long were you two together?" "Seven years," I answer. "You were with an alcoholic for seven years?" Dell asks. His eyes widen a little with surprise. "No one intentionally dates an alcoholic for seven years," I say a little more defensively than I intended to. I can see his face tighten, surprised at my curt response. "I didn't mean to imply anything," Dell apologizes. I immediately feel bad. "I'm sorry," I shake my head, frustrated with myself. "I didn't mean to- It's true though. You don't intentionally date an alcoholic for so long. It was a long time before I realized there was a problem. The first couple years I thought he just liked to party a lot. By the third year I started to become concerned. It wasn't until the fourth that I knew it was a problem. By that time I was so invested in the relationship I couldn't just leave." "I see," Dell sighs. His eyes soften as he looks at me. "It sounds like that relationship really took a toll on you." "It did," I nod. I turn my gaze from him and look out at the ocean. "I don't want you to misunderstand. My ex isn't a bad person. He's a good guy. He just has problems that I couldn't help him with." "I understand," Dell nods his head. "The ocean is beautiful, huh?" He sensed that I wanted to change the subject. I'm grateful. "Yeah," I admire all the shades of blue in the ocean. "It's true what they say, no other ocean has more colors than the Pacific." "You have an artistic soul," Dell smiles at me. "Why do you think that?" "I can tell," Dell replies. "You look for the beauty in everything. You try to see things through rose-colored glasses." I smile at him. He's sweet. Our hands slowly inch towards one another until the tips of our fingers lightly intertwine. ****HOLLY**** I'm standing in my room looking at myself in the full-length mirror next to my closet. I'm wearing the new Betsey Johnson dress I bought on Melrose today. It's beautiful. It's a sweetheart cut, black, satin knee-length dress that hugs me in all the right places. I feel just like Jenifer Aniston. I'm debating whether to keep my hair down or wear it up in a chignon. I think if I wear it up it might look too formal. Keeping my hair down gives a more relaxed look. Now that I've decided to wear it down, I have to decide on the shoes. I go into my closet and debate over wearing the red Steve Madden pumps or deep purple Moschino oxfords. When in doubt I always ask Eddie. It's great having a gay brother. It's every girl's dream, isn't it? I take out my cell phone and text him: WEARING A BLACK DRESS TONIGHT, SHOULD I WEAR PURPLE OXFORDS OR RED MADDEN PUMPS? Less than a minute later, I get a reply back from him: RED PUMPS. Now that's settled, I take my dress off and put on my sweat pants and a tank-top, my lounge outfit I wear around my apartment. I have a few hours until my date so I turn on the television to kill some time. Not much is on unfortunately. Mostly bad talk-shows, after-school specials and the news. I turn the TV off and pick up my book. I'm reading `Twilight,' I wanted to see what the big deal was, now I can't put the books down. Eddie always makes fun of me for reading them, but they are really good. So romantic! I wish Jonathan would be a little more like Edward. Why is Jonathan such a dumbass?! I can't get over how close we were last night. I could tell he wanted to tell me something, but then he chickened out. Men are such wimps! What pisses me off the most is that it's not like we've never done stuff before. We never told Eddie, but two years ago, Jonathan and I kissed. It was a good kiss. I remember it so well. ****TWO YEARS AGO**** Eddie, Jonathan and I were on a road-trip to Santa Barbara to help Eddie relax. He just took River to rehab and needed a weekend to unwind. We stayed at a nice little hotel along the ocean and Eddie went to the spa to get a massage that Jonathan and I paid for. While he was gone, Jonathan and I were sitting on the balcony of our hotel room looking out at the people on the beach and sharing a bottle of wine. We already finished off one bottle and started on another. We were both a little bit drunk, which probably wasn't the best thing to do considering we were helping Eddie to not worry about his alcoholic boyfriend at the time. "Nice day, huh?" Jonathan puts his sunglasses on and leans his head back into his chair. "Yeah," I replied looking at the bronzed and muscular men playing volleyball on the beach. "Great view too." Jonathan looked where I was looking and scoffed, "You think those guys are hot?" "Hell yeah," I answer. "I could spread them on a cracker." "I'm cuter," Jonathan smugly said. "I don't know," I shook my head and looked over at him. "It's been a while since I've seen you without a shirt. You really think you're hotter than those guys?" "Are you asking me to take my shirt off?" Jonathan asks with a devious grin. "I'm asking you to prove that you're hotter than those guys," I shot back. "Fine." Jonathan stands up and takes his t-shirt off to reveal a well-defined chest and firm abs. He does a few poses to show off his muscles which makes me laugh. I take a sip of wine and shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. I still think those guys on the beach might be better." Jonathan takes a big sip of his wine as he tries to come up with a witty response. He's always a little bit slower when he drinks. "Well..." Jonathan's eyes suddenly lit up, "Would I be better if I did this?" He then takes a couple steps closer to me and leans down and kisses me. Even though we were both drunk, it was the perfect kiss. Sweet, tender, gentle; he lightly massaged my upper lip with his tongue. I was very impressed. He then breaks the kiss, but keeps his head close to mine, "How about that?" "Okay," I answered. "You may be a little bit better." "That's what I thought," Jonathan said. He then kisses me some more. We both begin to get into it and had we continued to kiss a few minutes more it definitely would have led to clothes on the floor. However, we both quickly realized what we were doing and pulled away from each other. "What are we doing?!" "I don't know," I shook my head, not wanting to admit how much I enjoyed the kiss. "We should probably stop," Jonathan replied. "Yeah. You're right," I nodded in agreement. "Good thinking." We both stay silent, letting the shock of our make-out session sober us up. We finally both turn to each other and agree, "Let's not tell Eddie." ****END FLASHBACK**** Two years later and I'm still holding onto the memory of that kiss? I'm pathetic, huh? I originally agreed to go on a date tonight to make Jonathan jealous, but maybe this is a good thing. Maybe I should try and move on. It's been two years and the furthest him and I have done is kiss one time. I thought him and I were meant to be, but maybe not. I look over at my bookshelf and see `He's Just Not That Into You' mockingly staring back at me. My cell phone ringing interrupts my self-loathing; it's my date, George. "Hey George." "I just wanted to call you and let you know that I'll pick you up at seven," George says. "Sounds good," I reply. "I'm going to take you to La Bistecca at the Biltmore Hotel," George says. "Then we can go to the Gallery Bar for drinks after." He informs of this so matter-of-factly, he obviously is used to taking charge. I kind of like that. It would be nice to like a man who goes after what he wants...unlike Jon. ****RIVER**** I'm playing my guitar on the sofa. I woke-up today with nothing to do. Since I was fired yesterday there's not much for me to do. Life has dealt me a shitty hand lately. I look around my studio apartment and sigh. Paint is chipping off the walls, water stains on my ceiling, shitty air-conditioning. It's supposed to be a nice apartment complex, but unfortunately this is was the only vacancy. Fortunately, I have enough money saved up for the next month's rent, but I have to start looking for a job soon so I can continue living in this shit whole. My guitar playing stops when I hear a knock on my front door. It's probably my neighbor, Ella. She seems determined to be friends. She comes across as a ditz, so I'm not sure if she's someone I want to be friends with. I set my guitar down and get up to answer the door. I limp as I walk to the door, I must have slammed my shin against an edge in apartment last night. I had a few too many drinks to celebrate getting fired. I don't even remember hurting my shin which is weird. I didn't think I drank that much. When I reach the door, I was right. Ella is smiling at me wearing a tight tank-top and skinny jeans. "Hey River! I heard you playing your guitar so I wanted to stop by." "Oh," I mutter. She's wanted to hear me perform ever since I told her I occasionally sing. I'm not really in the mood for an audience. "Maybe another time." Ella ignores me and walks past me into my apartment. "Why do you insist on keeping to yourself?" Ella asks sitting down on the sofa next to me. She looks intensely into my eyes to show she really wants to know more about me. "It's a long story," I shrug. I stretch my arms out to hint at Ella to move over and give me my personal space. "Well I have nothing, but time," Ella replies, she leans back into the sofa to show that she is not going anywhere. I relent and decide to let her stay. "Do you want a drink?" I ask getting up from my sofa and limply walk to the kitchen area where I have a bottle of Grey Goose sitting on the counter. I hold up the bottle and Ella nods her head. I grab two cups from my cupboard and put ice into them and come back to the sofa and pour her and I a glass. "To making new friends!" Ella holds up her glass. We clink glasses and take a sip. The vodka feels good going down my throat. It's warm and cold at the same time and I instantly feel more relaxed. "So what's your story River?" "What do you want to know?" I ask as I take another sip of my drink. It's already have empty, it's amazing how fast a glass of vodka can go, huh? "What brought you to this apartment building?" Ella asks. "Break-up," I quickly answer, hoping she won't go into this topic further. Of course she does, "Bad break-up?" "I'm not sure," I reply. Ella gives me a look that tells me she doesn't understand my answer. But it's the truth. That's the one thing about my break-up with Eddie that I still am unsure of. Did we end things on bad terms? If we ran into each other on the street would we be nice and say hi to one another, or would we turn and walk opposite directions to avoid each other? We spoke briefly yesterday on the phone and he didn't sound upset to hear from me. Maybe it wasn't such a bad break up... "Why would someone break-up with you? You're such a cutie," Ella says. She bats her eyes flirtatiously at me. So that's why she wants to know me. She's hitting on me. I look at myself in the mirror I have hanging on the wall opposite the sofa next to an art piece that Eddie gave me before we broke-up and I guess I still look pretty good. I don't look as cute as I did when Eddie and I first met, but I still would rate myself a 9 out of 10. My muscular build has gone a little soft over the years, but I still have definition, and my eyes definitely have more bags. I sometimes feel so old and I'm only twenty-seven. My green eyes still shine though and I still have a thick coat of black hair on top of my head. "I guess I should tell you that I'm gay," I say gently, not wanting to hurt her feelings. "You are?!" Ella asks her blue eyes grow wide with shock. "I had no idea! You know, you're the second guy here that I've tried to hit on who ended up being gay?" "It happens," I shrug. "Have you met Dell Madison? He lives in the building too," Ella says. "No." I shake my head and take another sip of my drink. "He's the other gay guy I hit on," Ella says. "We're good friends now though. I would try to set you two up, but he's on a date with someone right now, so he might be taken." "That's okay." I wave the idea off. "I'm not looking to date right now. I have enough stuff I need to worry about." "What sort of stuff?" Ella asks. She flips her blonde hair back behind her shoulders. "Work stuff," I reply. "I was just fired from my job." "As a singer?" Ella asks. "No. I'm an accountant," I answer. "I just sing for fun." "Oh," Ella is clearly disappointed to hear that singing isn't my full-time career. "Everyone in this building does something creative. You sing, I act, my friend Dell is an artist, the husband and wife who live in 3G write poetry, it's neat, huh?" "Awesome." I don't really care. I just shrug my shoulders trying to appear somewhat interested. I finish my drink and pour myself another glass. We both sit silently. I'm hoping the silence will que her to leave, but she's determined to become friends. I can tell. She glances around my apartment. She's looking for something, anything to start up a conversation. "Is this your ex?" Ella gets up from the sofa and goes to the bookcase I have next to my television and picks up a framed photo of Eddie. "It's weird you still have a picture of him." "Why?" "I don't have any framed pictures of my ex-boyfriends," Ella shrugs. "My ex is special," I say defensively. I get up and take the photo from her and lovingly set the picture back on my bookcase. I look over my bookcase. It's really filthy. The few books I have on there have a thin layer of dust. I glance around my apartment and realize how dusty the entire space is. I should really clean it. I have the time now. "What's so special about your ex?" Ella asks. I let that question soak in for a few brief moments. What is so special about Eddie? It's hard to describe. He's everything I could ever want. Sweet, caring, always putting others before him. I finally answer, "He just is." "Do you still talk?" Ella asks. "Not really." I walk back to the sofa and sit down and begin drinking. Talking and thinking about Eddie always gets me anxious. "You don't like to talk much, huh?" Ella asks. "No," I answer. Ella walks around my apartment. She's rather nosey. "Wow," Ella says as she looks at my kitchen counter. She's staring at the three empty bottles of vodka I have resting on the counter. "You must drink a lot." "What's that supposed to mean?" I snap defensively. "Nothing," Ella quickly replies. She gives me an apologetic smile. "I wasn't trying to hint at anything. I just noticed you seem to enjoy your liquor." "I like the occasional drink," I say. "I don't have a problem or anything. I just drink when I'm stressed." I don't think Eddie ever understood that. I don't have a problem with alcohol at all. I just like to have a couple drinks when I'm under a lot of stress. Working with Mr. Takahashi caused me a lot of stress, but now that I'm not working anymore I'll probably cut back on the drinks again. "I totally get it," Ella says. She then proceeds to tell me about this film role she was auditioning for and how much it stressed her out that she showed up to her final audition drunk and blew it. I'm only half listening to her. Mostly I'm caught up in my thoughts. I remember going to rehab (only did it for Eddie because he kept worrying about me) and the counselors there kept reminding me that admitting I have a problem is the first step to recovery. I completely agreed with them, but they didn't understand that I didn't have a problem so I had nothing to admit too. That was the only downside of being with Eddie. He was overdramatic. He freaked whenever I would have some drinks. I think it was for the best that him and I broke-up. I look over at Ella and notice she's still talking. I take a sip of my drink and realize that it's empty. How did that happen? I don't even remember drinking all of it. Weird. I pour myself another glass. As I take a sip of my re-filled drink, I notice that I'm starting to get sleepy. The room is getting a little bit hazy. Maybe I'll fall asleep and Ella will finally leave. She's not such a bad person to be around, she's actually nice, I'm just not in the mood for visitors. I close my eyes and drift to sleep. Sorry Ella. ****JONATHAN**** I'm pacing back and forth in my apartment. This is pathetic. I keep looking at the clock. Time has never gone so slow. All I can do is think about Holly on her date with a guy named George. Is he good-looking? I want to think that he is short and fat with crooked teeth and bad breath. But what if he's really good-looking? What if he's the perfect man and Holly falls in love with him? It's almost ten o'clock. They could be in her bedroom right now having sex. She could be lying in his arms and discussing their future together. As much as I don't want to, I can imagine it. They are happily married with five children; three girls and two boys. They have Sunday BBQs and invite Eddie and me over. Holly will always be wearing a tight fitting outfit to show-off her beautiful body and to remind me of what I missed out on because I didn't take my chance with her. George will gloat about their wonderful sex life. I can't stand it! She's going to fall in love with this guy. I just know it. If I don't stop this, she'll end up marrying him! I have to go over there, but how? Holly lives five minutes away driving, but by foot it would take me at least forty-five minutes. What if I get there and it's too late? What if they had such a great time on their date that they impulsively take a trip to Vegas and get married tonight?! I can't let this happen! I have to do something. I can't let George walk off and marry Holly! As quickly as I can I change into a shirt that Holly bought me and put on my running shoes and I rush out of my apartment. It's going to take me a while to get there, but I have to do something! ****EDDIE**** It was a terrific day. After Santa Monica and the Getty we went to a little seafood restaurant on PCH and had a delicious dinner. I drive him back to his apartment building and park outside the building entrance. We sit in the car listening to the engine go silent as I turn the car off. "I had a great time," Dell says. "Thank you." "My pleasure." I smile at him. "I'm glad I got to give you the grand tour of Los Angeles." "Well...I feel I should be honest with you," Dell looks down at his hands. I can see him blushing. "I've been to all those places today." "I don't understand." I look at him questionably. He lets out a nervous laugh. "I go to the Santa Monica Pier a lot and I've been to the Getty," Dell says. "I still don't understand. Why did you tell me that you've never been to those places?" I don't get why he would lie about that. Is he some kind of chronic liar? "This is the embarrassing part," Dell says. "I wanted to spend time with you." I can't help but smile. "Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" "I didn't know if that was something you were interested in or not," Dell explains. "I know you just got out of a relationship so I didn't want to straight up ask you on a date." "I see," I nod my head. "Well that was very considerate of you." I think it over. Am I ready to date again? As much as I would like to, I also feel that it's important to take some time to be single and gather my thoughts. "I have an idea." "I would love to hear it," Dell replies. He shifts his body to give me his full attention. "How about we just hang-out and be friends?" I see his face fall a bit, obviously not the answer he wanted to hear. "Let's just get to know one another and see how things go." "See how things go?" Dell asks. He's intrigued. "And by that you mean..." "I think you know," I give him a lame wink. He lets out a laugh. "So you're saying there is a possibility," Dell deducts. "Yes," I nod. "A very big possibility, but right now it's important for me to let the wounds of my last relationship heal. That okay?" "Absolutely," Dell replies. He leans over and gives me a hug. He smells really good. "Thank you again for an awesome day." "Thank you for tricking me into spending this awesome day with you," I reply. "I'll give you a call tomorrow. Maybe we can meet up for lunch this week?" Dell asks. "Sounds like a plan," I reply. We finish saying our goodbyes and he gets out of the car and goes into his apartment building. The whole drive home I can't help but smile. I think this is the start of something really exciting. ****HOLLY**** My date ends really early. Bad date. He was a complete control freak. The whole night George took control of everything. He ordered the wine we drank, the food we ate, and the dessert we shared. Afterwards he ushered me into the hotel bar for drinks, but I faked a headache so I could go home. I wanted someone who would take some control, but not someone who would take total control. He started every conversation topic, whenever I tried to change the subject he would ignore me and continue talking about what he wanted to talk about. Ugh! Why do guys have to be so extreme? They're either control freaks like George, or wusses like Jonathan. I should just become a lesbian. I go into my bedroom and begin to unzip my dress. Such a beautiful dress wasted on a horrible date. I'm just about to pull my dress off when there's a pounding on my door. "Holly! You home?" I hear the muffled sound of Jonathan's voice through the door. "What are you doing here?" I look at my watch. It's almost ten-thirty. I open my door and Jonathan is panting heavily. His face is dripping with sweat. He's completely wet under his armpits. He's wearing a navy blue Banana Republic shirt I bought him for his birthday last year and jeans. He would look nice if he weren't so sweaty. "did you run here?" "Yes," Jonathan says. He holds up his hand to me. He wants to talk more but needs a moment to catch his breath. "Did you go on your date?" "Yes," answer. "Did you run over here just to ask me that?" "How did it go?" Jonathan asks. "Are you going to see him again?" "I don't know," I breezily answer. I want him to get jealous. "Maybe." "Don't," Jonathan says. "Don't go on another date." "Why not?" I ask. Say it! Just say it! I know this sounds like a anti-feminist thing to say, but there are some things that I feel a guy should say to a girl first. "Because..." Jonathan stops himself. I can see him struggling. He's going to chicken out again. Such a wuss! He looks down at his feet. I feel the moment quickly slipping away. I shake my head in disappointment. "I was just about to hop into the shower and go to bed," I finally say. "You should go home and do the same." I start to close the door, but Jonathan slams his hand against the door to stop it from closing on him. I raise my eyebrows in surprise. He then looks up at me and our eyes connect. It's now or never. Please don't fail me. Quickly he comes up to me and grabs my face and presses his lips against mine. I can feel his sweat dripping onto my face, but I don't care. We're kissing. Finally. I can feel his tongue slowly make it's way into my mouth which welcomes it like an old friend. It's happening. He moves his hands off the side of my face and wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me off the ground. I wrap my legs around him and he presses me against the front door as we continue to kiss. I begin to unbutton his shirt and tear it off of him to reveal his chiseled bare chest. He sets me down on my feet and I close the front door. We continue to undress each other as we make our way to my bedroom... ****THE NEXT MORNING**** ****JONATHAN**** Sunday- 7:00 AM "Pick-up. Pick-up. Pick-up," I repeatedly say to myself quietly as my cell phone continues to ring. I'm hiding in the bathroom, trying to be as quiet as possible. RING. RING. RING. "Hello?" Eddie finally answers in a groggy voice. "Thank God!" I say a little more loudly than I wanted to. I lower my voice again, "I need help." "What kind of trouble can you be in at seven in the morning?" Eddie asks. "I think I did something really stupid," I tell him. I can't believe I slept with Holly last night. ************************************************************************* To Be Continued... With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Thanks so much!