This chapter overlaps from the next-to-last chapter of If It Weren't For the Two of Us. You'll see it from the perspective of Lance.

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Meeting 90 June 2

"Hi, I'm Lance. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Lance," the group replied.

"My best friend is getting married this weekend. He came with me to my very first meeting here. I was so scared. I had messed up so many things. Thank heavens I didn't mess up that friendship. Heaven knows I did enough stupid things that I could have. He stuck with me. I'm so happy for him and his partner, soon to be his husband.

"It seems forever since college, but graduation was just over a year ago. I suppose how the real world changes you is a crap shoot. But you also are in charge of your own choices. Drinking was my worst one. I have made some doozies over the course of my life. Drinking brought everything crashing down."

I looked at Jakob.

"Thank heavens it brought me here. You people have been good for me. Life isn't perfect, I know. But I have good friends here. I found my partner here. I'm just a month away from my One Year chip. I'm glad I could be that strong. I wouldn't have thought that possible last year. Drinking only did one thing right for me — that was leading me to the right person. Love is so much better sober."

A few people nodded.

"Thank you."

The group clapped.

"Hi, I'm Ophelia. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Ophelia," the group replied.

"Like Lance, I'm feeling pretty good. As he said, life isn't perfect, but it is sure heading in a good direction for me.

"Drinking destroyed everything for me. My job, my position, my family, my marriage. To this day, I still don't know how I let it get out of control. It was just a drink each evening. Then two. Then the whole bottle of wine. Most of the time I wasn't even upset. My body just wanted more. You'd think I would have gotten a clue just from looking at my recycle bin. It was bad. I let it get bad.

"Thankfully, I've turned that around. Work is good ..."

I winked at O.

"... and I can now truthfully say my ex and I are talking about getting back together. We haven't officially set a date or anything, but ... it's in discussion. Our love has rekindled. He has accepted the baggage I come with — and I own all of it. I don't blame him for anything. He's a good man. It was me who messed up. He's been very forgiving and patient, and he's even given up drinking too. He's trying hard to remove that from our family's life entirely. Not that he ever had a problem. He only had an occasional drink. But that support means a lot to me. We're both working hard to make it right.

"Life is good. Thank you."

The group clapped.

Janine went next and commented that her job was still going well. Richard shared how he took his first drink in college on today's date. He remembered it because it was the day he met his wife. He didn't have a drinking problem until much later, following her death. I hated that he felt so lonely; thank heavens he had us. Jakob got up next.

"Hi, I'm Jakob. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Jakob," the group replied.

"I was encouraged to reach out to a childhood friend. It was actually his family that took me in when I was kicked out of the house for being gay. They were a great family.

"At first, I didn't hear back from Anson. I guessed he wasn't either interested, or the phone number from all those years didn't work.

"He actually sent me a birthday card a month and half ago. I was surprised he remembered. He said he didn't know where to send it, so he sent it to my family's house. He had written a long letter inside.

"Anson was afraid to answer my text. He thought I would have years of anger from his family moving on without me. He poured his heart out to me in that letter. I was so surprised he thought I'd be angry. His family was amazing. I texted him to let him know I got it.

"I never would have been given that letter if Lance hadn't helped me heal my relationship with my family. As much damage as all the years had brought me, it is good to know that things can get better. If anyone is new here, please know that. The pain doesn't have to be forever. Like he said earlier tonight, when you make your decisions sober, it's much better.

"Anson and I talk on the phone now every week or two. It has been great to reconnect. I know all of us here struggle with something. I encourage you to think of an old friend now and then and try to touch base with them. Just talk. You don't have to lay all your problems on them. Just listen, just hear their voice. It has been nice for me. The closure has done me good.

"Thank you."

The group clapped.

 

—

 

We lay in bed ready to turn in for the night. We had kissed. Jakob held me.

"What time do you have to be at the wedding Saturday?" I asked.

"I plan to start decorating around 9. I'll have to leave here about 8:20."

"Are you sure you don't need my help?"

"I'd actually love it, but I won't need you until about 11. If you could actually bring something for us to have lunch, that would be great. Simple. We'll have a lot of food after the wedding."

"Okay, babe."

We lay still and quiet for a few moments. I held Jakob's hand firmly against my chest. I wished he could run fingers through my chest hair like I do with him, but I don't have any. I wished I did.

"I haven't been around when you've talked to Anson," I said in the darkness.

"You were one night."

"I suppose. That was pretty quick. I heard you talk about his family and how you didn't hold anything against them for moving. Have you told him about us?"

"Of course."

"What have you said?"

"I said you have the biggest cock of anyone I know."

I spun around in his arms. "You did not!"

He laughed.

"No. But you would want me to."

"I hope you think I have actual good qualities. It's just a dick."

"I love everything about you, angel. I love all your qualities. And your dick."

I gave him a peck on the lips.

"What's one quality I have?"

"The fact that you found it in your heart to love me in spite of my insane past is a gigantic, good quality. I think the size of your heart far surpasses the size of your dick."

I kissed him deeper. "I sure do love you."

I now held him. My hand fondled his balls ever so gently, then I ran my fingers through his chest. I loved him so much.

 

—

 

I pulled up to the farm at 10:45. I saw the designated parking for wedding guests. I parked next to Jakob's car.

I didn't really see anyone. Chairs had been set up outside. The forecast was good. I looked inside the barn. I could hear Jakob talking to someone. He smiled as he saw me walking over.

"This looks great, baby."

"Ohhh, I have so much to do. This is not completely done."

I thought Jakob was adorable. I loved watching him work. He was excellent at his job. He gave me some tasks with the arches outside. I was glad to help. He had one other worker from Visions helping him out.

As we scarfed down the sub sandwiches I had brought, he explained what he had left to do. Trent had taken care of all the catering, so that was already being handled. After we ate, I helped him with the flowers along the aisles and on the arches. Lace on the chairs was all that was left. Jakob had everything we needed. It was easy to do. It just had to be done.

Jakob and I brushed our teeth in the bathroom. I had brought tuxedos and we changed.

"Ugh," I grunted as I wrangled into my clothing. It seemed too tight.

"Angel?" Jakob asked, looking over at me.

"This tuxedo seems tight on me. It makes me rearrange my dick. You're lucky you don't have to put up with all that."

I looked over at Jakob. He glared at me menacingly.

"Are you seriously wanting me to feel sorry for you because you have a huge cock? I have nothing, and I still have to rearrange my crotch. All guys do that! Sorry, babe, buy you get no sympathy from me." He looked down at his task at hand in anger.

I couldn't tell if I was being mildly scolded or if I had somehow really hurt his feelings. I walked up to him. I held him tight. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.

"I'm sorry, Lance. I'm just stressed to make this perfect for Trent."

"I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry my comment came off wrong." I moved my mouth to his ear. "Don't ever think you have nothing. I love your dick. Always know that. I'd take you here right now if it wouldn't put us further behind."

 

—

 

Mike and Trent got to the farm around 1:15. The ceremony didn't start until 2:30. Guests were expected to arrive at 2 o'clock. Since the weather cooperated, all the seating was outside. The porch gazebo was decorated with white lace and red roses. It was beautiful. The chairs were draped in white satin. At the end of each row was a vase filled with an arrangement of red and white roses. The first and last row had an arch instead, intertwined with artificial white flowers. Trent was very pleased with Jakob's work. I could see it on his face. He wasn't just impressed; the gravity of his big day came across his face.

Zach arrived. It still stunned me that my old college roommate was officiating the ceremony. I think he and Trent had become closer than I ever had. When we roomed together, I thought he was just a ... super-religious guy. But Zach was nice. I was astonished he agreed to perform a same-sex ceremony. He and Jakob walked over to Trent. I went in to see if the plates had arrived.

 

—

 

It was 2:30. Jakob and I were not going to take a seat. He stayed to the side to make sure details went smoothly. I took pictures from various angles. The music had changed from soft melodies — "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera, "Today was a Fairy Tale" by Taylor Swift, Phil Collin's "Come With Me" and Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up" — to more formal wedding music.

Zach walked to the gazebo. He asked the parents to rise. Since there was no bride, everyone remained seated except for Mike's and Trent's parents. They turned. Trent walked down the aisle, kissed both his parents on the cheek and took the stage. Mike followed a moment later, kissed his parents and stood beside Trent.

Zach motioned for the parents to be seated. He welcomed everyone in the audience and explained our importance as both witnesses and the roles we play in Mike's and Trent's lives. I couldn't deny their importance in mine. The two of them were lifelines when I needed it the most. With a couple of scriptures and some poetry, Zach spoke on the perfectness of love.

On a table behind him stood a candle inside a glass cylinder. It was placed in a wider, larger glass cylinder. Jakob had tried to explain its meaning to me, but I wasn't sure I understood. Zach spoke.

"Mike and Trent, your lives are a tapestry, a work of art of many colors. This beauty has been influenced by people you hold dear in your life. Each one of them has added to the masterpiece that is your love for each other. Your lives began with the love from your parents."

Both sets of parents stepped to the stage, each with a vile of different colored sand Jakob had provided them. The four of them poured their sand into the cylinder, starting to form colors around the center candle.

"Old friends helped you to grow and form the character that you now possess."

Matt and Ali stepped forward with their vials, as did a couple of friends Mike knew from his hometown. I had not met them before. They added sand to the cylinder. The outer cylinder was becoming more colorful.

"Within your careers, people offer you support, love and encouragement."

People from Mike's school came from one side, Ed and Tara from the radio station came from the other side. They added their sand; the cylinder was now well more than half filled.

"Today, your dearest friends whom you depend upon for comfort, companionship and strength are with you and add their blessings to this next step in your lives."

It was our turn. I don't know why I was scared, but I was. It was just sand; I just had to pour sand. Jakob entered from one side; I came from the other. We added our colored sand. I had chosen burgundy as it was one of our college colors. Jakob opted for white for the symbolism of the wedding. We hugged Mike and Trent and kissed each of them on the cheek.

"Mike and Trent, I want you to take these last two vials," Zach said after turning back around and handing the remaining sand from the table next to the candle.

"As you pour the final sand into the glass, you will complete the piece of art, just as you complete each other's lives. As you pour your portion in, reflect on the power and the responsibility of such a commitment to work every day at making each other happy and feel supported and to be complete."

They smiled at each other and poured their sand. It filled the entire container, which was now beautiful and colorful with the center candle barely sticking out.

"I want each of you to light your candle at each end of the table."

They both stepped over, picked up individual candles, lit them and moved back to Zach.

"Now, as you light this candle formed by the love of your family and friends, your two separate lights will now become one."

They each took their candle and joined them at the wick of the decorated candle. It lit, and the guys blew the individual candles out. Zach took them from the boys and placed them to the side.

Zach addressed the audience.

"Both Mike and Trent have written vows for each other. As they speak them, each will place a ring on the other's finger. A ring is an ideal symbol for this bond, this commitment and this union. There is no beginning, there is no end. Your love is to be continuous ... forever."

Ethan walked to the front of the aisle. He knelt and called for Sacha, his dog. Sacha walked down the aisle to "ohs" and "aw" and gushes from the audience. The dog was wearing a box strapped around his neck. Ethan petted Sascha and released the strap. Mike bent down and Sacha licked his face. Trent scratched him behind the ears. It was so incredibly wonderful that one of Mike's ex-boyfriends could still amicably play a small role in this ceremony.

Zach handed each of them a ring.

As they prepared to say their vows, I looked at Trent and got lost. What was I feeling? I was completely in love with Jakob. No question. But at this moment, I saw Trent, and all the love I had for him built inside me.

 

My hand grabbed Trent's cock. I gently rubbed its entire length. We had my college apartment to ourselves.

"Your meat is beautiful, Trent. It really is. Are you comfortable with me touching it?"

I was too forceful the other night. Detrell's assault was too fresh. I wanted to make sure Trent was okay. I didn't want to fool around if it wasn't okay with him.

"It feels good," he said.

I leaned over the couch and jerked his cock for a couple minutes. He softly moaned. I crawled down to join him on the floor. My hand roamed over his chest, then it found his throbbing cock again. Trent reached over and grabbed my giant hard-on.

"Oh yeaaaahh, buddy," I sighed.

He rubbed it down at the base like I had been doing. I put my arms behind my head and let him jerk my erection. I closed my eyes. My smile was huge. My breathing became audible as Trent serviced my cock.

"Ohhh, Trent. Yes."

I wasn't ready for his next move. My body jolted for a second when I felt Trent's mouth slide down on my erection. I didn't think he would go that far.

"Holy fuck, Trent. Oh, man! Fuck yeah."

Trent let his tongue get sloppy all around the fleshy shaft.

"That feels good, buddy," I said.

"Want to crawl into the bed? It'll be softer," he said.

We got up. He grabbed the towel. I had the single bed in the room. I lied down. He snuggled up beside me. We looked into each other's eyes. I moved forward to kiss him. He didn't reject it. We moved closer and wrapped our arms around each other. Our kissing became passionate. He reached down and grabbed my cock again. As we kissed, he gently pulled on it. I moaned in his kissing.

He sat up and spread his legs apart. He moved my body between them. His hand clutched my erection again and stroked it with some force. Trent leaned over to lick the underside of my balls as he jerked my cock.

"Ohhhh, buddeeeee," I breathed.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. I got louder as he pounded my cock. The moaning was loud enough to travel through the walls. Even though he cautioned me, I kept moaning to him, letting Trent know his efforts were what I wanted. He leaned down and we kissed some more.

"My turn," I whispered into his lips.

I turned him on his back and thrust my mouth over his dick. I swallowed every inch of my best friend.

"Nice, man," he quietly said and tilted his head back to enjoy the oral service.

I hummed as I sucked his cock — a moaning hum. He was getting the attention, but I was enjoying it more. I lusted for Trent's cock all the time. The blow job was warm and exceptionally wet.

"That feels really good, Lance. My cock feels so good," he told me.

I slurped on it some more. We had gone far enough into this that the sex was getting intense.

He turned his body to where we both could get each other's dicks in each other's mouth. As we 69'd each other, both of us took an arm and grabbed each other's ass. I moaned loudly around Trent's cock; he did the same around mine. His fingers gripped my ass cheek and massaged my skin. His ring finger traveled up and down my ass crack. Slowly it crawled further down, eventually reaching the opening to my hole. He wriggled his finger right at the entrance and sucked me harder, faster, louder.

"Ohhh, man!" I said loudly, taking my mouth off his cock. "Don't make me come yet."

I maneuvered on top of him and started kissing him with passion again. Our dicks rubbed together as we made out. My hips started thrusting my erection up and down his body as I moaned in my kisses.

"Will you fuck me again, Trent?" I asked with genuine sincerity. "I ... I've wanted you to fuck me again for so long. Your cock would feel so good inside me. Please say yes."

I looked into his eyes. With no words, my gaze was pleading, begging. Trent had first fucked me in that shower at Mike's high school. We had been reckless, but the three of us wanted it, needed it. I had wanted Trent back inside me ever since.

"Buddy, I'm not tested until next week. I don't think I should."

I got up and grabbed the lube and a condom from Cole's drawer.

"We can use this," I said, holding up the packet.

"You don't think he'll miss that?"

"What? Like he has them counted?" I said.

"Will it fit me? You said he was not as big as us."

"We'll find out," as I ripped open the packet.

I placed the ring of latex at the tip of his erection and rolled it down. It was tight, but it worked. I positioned the towel under us and grabbed the bottle of lube. I made his cock nice and slick. Trent grabbed the bottle and squirted some on his finger. It probed my hole.

"Oh, yeah," I said in approval.

He slid a second lubricated finger in me, widening my passage.

"Mmmm," I moaned.

I spread my legs and lifted them in the air. He placed his cock right at my ass and let the head of his erection enter slowly. I inhaled sharply. Then relaxed. Trent slowly moved in further until he was all the way in. That felt momentarily painful, then I relaxed and was fine.

"You okay?" he asked with a heavy breath.

"Yeah. Start slow."

He grabbed my legs and slowly withdrew his cock, pushing it back in before it completely exited. He moved back inside me. Deep. Both of us moaned. Any discomfort was gone. I loved him inside me. He started his rhythm, fucking me gently, slowly. We didn't say anything. We just breathed as we fucked. Breathed and fucked. Breathed and fucked. The stimulation of our sex was intense. We didn't want to take it too fast. We wanted this to last. We were two college guys that had built up so much sexual tension, this passionate moment was the pinnacle of our hormonal longings.

"Trent, you feel so good inside me. Thank you for fucking me," I said to him with honest adoration in my voice.

"Yeah. I feel good inside you too, bud. My cock is loving fucking your ass."

I clutched my hard-on and stroked it with force. My moaning started again. I got loud. Trent actually came close to matching my volume. We were into this, and it felt incredible. He started thrusting into me harder. His crotch slammed into my hole with force.

"Oh yeah, Trent," I called out. "More, more! Fuck me harder."

He complied. I was jerking my hard flesh like a tank. My strokes were powerful and huge. I began to growl and snarl as I pleasured my monumental phallus. He kept thrusting his hips, sliding his cock in and out. We almost sounded like animals. Groaning, growling, moaning, fucking. His lubed cock continued to slide in and out of my passage with ease. The stimulation to both of us was a testosterone overdose. Our voices blended in a harmonious moan. I loved Trent inside me. It was heaven.

"Ohhh. Oh yeah, Trent. Fuck me! Fuck me!! Fuck my brains out!" I screamed. "Fuuuuckkk! Oh ... oh ... oh, I'm so close!"

He fucked me harder somehow.

"Oh, man. Oh fuck. Make me come, Trent. Fuck me! Make me come."

"Come for me, buddy," he told me. "Make that big salami come."

My orgasm sounded almost brutal as the first shot fired a foot in the air before landing on my chest. I continued screaming loudly as each spasm from my cock unleashed another stream of cum onto my torso. After my erection stopped oozing its pent-up liquid, my volume decreased. He stopped fucking me and pulled his cock out. I looked at him in surprise knowing he wasn't finished. He peeled the condom off his red shaft and crawled up further. He leaned over to kiss me and then slid his cock into my cum dripped on my body. Holy shit! That was hot. We kissed again and then he sat up. His arm moved his dick all into my cum. Trent took his hand and scooped up more, slathering it up and down his entire seven inches.

"Put your hands on my chest," he directed. I would have followed any direction he had given me.

I stiff armed his pecs, and he leaned into me. Trent started jerking his cum-coated dick above me. He moaned. He breathed. He moaned some more. I watched him. I loved watching him. I loved him.

"You're so beautiful, Trent," I said looking up at him. "I want you to come on me. Come all over me."

I could tell Trent was in a sexual frenzy. He tilted his head back as he masturbated his manhood hovering over me. It became more tiring to hold his body above me, but my stiff arms held him there. I could just look at his beautiful body above me.

"Work it, baby. Work that cock," I called, spurring him on.

He pulled and yanked. He moaned and grunted.

"My cock feels so good, bud," he said back.

Trent groaned, bordering on whimpering. He looked back down at me, watching me smile at him as he pleasured himself above me. I could tell by his expression he was there.

"Close, bud. I'm close."

"Yeah, man. I'm here. Shoot your load all over me. I want your cum. Give it to me."

"Oh, oh, I'm ... soooooo ... closssssssseee ..."

He jerked his cock. The intensity matched his moaning and growling. He screamed out as his orgasm flared. The first stream of cum shot several feet to my cheek. I hollered in awe. The next landed on my neck. A few more waves of cum landed on my chest. It was euphoria. I continued to hold him up with my arms. Eventually after his climax subsided, he was suspended above me just panting, trying to regain his breath. His face was flushed. He smiled at me.

Soon, I lowered Trent to my side. We turned to kiss for a minute. We had both perspired a bit in the heat of passion. Then we lay side by side. I clutched his hand. We interlocked fingers. I felt so close to Trent, like no one else ever in my life.

"That was the most amazing sex ... ever," I said.

"It was good," he agreed. "That's what Mike and I have. Just imagine that."

"Holy fuck," I whispered.

Mike and Trent had not broken up; they were just on some temporary pause until graduation. Mike didn't want to stand in the way of his studies, plus he wanted to make sure Trent had really figured out what he wanted. I hoped he wanted me. He seemed to still plan on reconnecting with Mike, but ... after this. Would Trent choose me?

Trent unlocked his fingers to hold my dick again. I followed suit. We just lay there. Messy. Still. Connected.

"Hey buddy, this was a one-time thing, okay?" he said, his voice sounding earnestly important.

"You sure? It was pretty great," I replied turning toward him, then realizing I was going to get cum all over the sheets. I turned back.

"I'm sure. I love Mike. I am IN love with Mike. I can't be friends with benefits with you. Tonight ... we had ... so much pent-up sexual tension. I ... we ... needed to get past that. I needed to prove to myself that I want Mike. Just Mike. And I do."

I went quiet. I knew Trent loved Mike. I hoped maybe this intimacy together might make him feel something for me. I just wanted Trent to want me. Me. I loved him.

"You're my best friend, buddy. I love you for that. I'd do anything for you," he said. "Well, except ... this ... behind Mike's back. I hope I didn't mess up our friendship by going along with this. It really is a one-time thing."

My heart shattered. At the same time, I realized I just enjoyed fooling around with guys. I wasn't gay. What was I doing thinking about love?

"If that's true, you gave me the best you could," I said. "It was amazing."

He kissed me again, slightly leaning his body over me. His free hand ran a finger in circles through our cum on my chest.

"I wonder how many people you came out to tonight," he chuckled.

"What?? What do you mean?" I quickly called back. What was he implying? I felt defensive.

"Oh, come on! These walls are fairly thin. You don't think anyone heard us?"

"You think? Hmm. Shit. Well, I don't know if I would say I `came out.' I'm not sure if I'm gay or not."

"You were screaming `Fuck my brains out' to another man. I think you kind of lean that way," he said matter of fact.

"I dunno," I said before laying silent a minute.

He ran his finger through the cum again. He spelled my name in it.

My name. Why didn't Trent choose me? But what if he did? I'm not gay. How often would I do this?

 

Not gay. How stupid I was. I had fallen so hard for Trent. I wanted to spend every second of every day with him. How could I not recognize love? It wasn't a crush. I loved him. Why didn't I accept I was gay? I could have fully confessed that night.

I had let my moment — my chance! — pass by. But would he have chosen me? Me, the boneheaded loser who couldn't even decide what he wanted? Could we have worked? I still would have worried about his feelings for Mike. I could have still developed a drinking problem. There were so many unknowns.

 

"No matter how it ended, it was good, Lance. We got this out of our system. I love you, buddy. I do. But I'm Mike's boyfriend. I hope I can make that last. As long as it does, I am going to be loyal to him. As a couple, I want us both to be faithful, and if that is what Mike wants too, I think the two of us can move forward with a good future. I'm in love with him. You were worried about hurting me the other night, and I hope by agreeing to this tonight, I haven't hurt you."

I felt a million things. Hurt was one of them. I was a mess. But he had given me what I always wanted. While my breathing had returned to normal, my heart was still pounding. I was questioning everything.

"You gave me incredible sex, possibly the best in my life. How could you have hurt me?" I said, not really believing my words. "I know you belong to Mike. I'm completely envious. But I don't know if I have things figured out. Hopefully one day."

"Hopefully without so much drinking," he said softly. "Keep your promise to me tonight, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay." Knowing he was still longing for Mike made me want to drink. But I promised him I wouldn't. I would at least be worthy of my word. Fuck though, I wanted a drink. My head was all over the place.

We hugged. Following the embrace, we held each other and looked into each other's eyes.

"I love you too, buddy," I whispered. "Thanks for being the friend I need."

 

And he always would be. My eyes watered. I don't know if it was because deep in my heart, my love would always be there for him. Maybe it was because I was so happy for him and Mike.

I looked at Jakob. My heart soared again. All those feelings I felt for Trent back then I felt for Jakob now. I honestly loved these two men, but my heart belonged to Jakob. I loved spending every minute of every day with him. Destiny led us to each other. I was so fortunate. I'm glad I have what Mike and Trent do.

Mike went first:

"Sixteen months ago, you walked into my room having no idea you would change my world forever. In the past year I have not only found new places in my heart and in my soul, but you have filled them, expanding my capacity for happiness and love. I promise to spend every day of our lives just trying to attempt making you even close to how happy you have made me. I love you, Trent, and I will love you for all of my life."

I wondered when Mike knew Trent was the one. In his previous relationship with Ethan, Mike was the younger one. How unusual that he flipped that 180 degrees. That was kind of remarkable. And yet, he knew he wanted to spend his whole life with Trent. How did he know?

Trent's turn:

"Mike, when I was lost, I turned to you, hoping you would be my lifeline. But that has changed; you are my life itself. Call it God, call it Fate, call it Destiny — whatever it was, it led me to you. Each and every day I feel blessed that we met, that we found that the other made each of us a better person, and that you are able to love me in spite of my flaws. I promise to be there for you, to hold you and take care of you and to love you every day of my life."

I felt Trent's words. I felt them for Jakob.

Following that, Zach spoke:

"Love is our best friend, our helper and the healer of the ills that prevent us from being happy.

"Please face each other and take each other's hands so that you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it, support and encouragement to pursue your dreams and comfort in difficult times. And lastly, these are the hands that even years from now will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just one touch.

Michael Adam Terry, do you take Jeremiah Trent Kyriazi to be your husband, to love and take care of for all the rest of your days?"

"I do," Mike answered.

"Jeremiah Trent Kyriazi, do you take Michael Adam Terry to be your husband, to love and take care of for all the rest of your days?"

"I do," he said with a huge smile on his face.

"By the power invested in me by the state, I now pronounce you officially married. You may kiss your husband."

Following a long kiss, the crowd erupted.

Jakob and I moved over to them first. We had been standing to the side, assisting with the ceremony. It was easy for us to be there first. They didn't walk down the aisle or anything. We hugged.

"Congratulations, you two. I cannot tell you how happy I am for you. It's hard to believe I have watched you on this entire journey. I'm not sure how you did it — how you made it all work — but I've never seen two people more perfect for one another," I said.

"Thanks buddy," Trent said. "There were definitely some obstacles in our path, but we both knew what we wanted. One thing that helped us get to this point was the journal Mike gave me. When I wasn't sure I could make it, I would jot down my thoughts. Once we were together again after the break, I kept writing, sort of narrating our journey. Or at least my journey aligning with his. I have half a page left that I've saved for this occasion."

"That's sweet," said Jakob.

Trent looked at Jakob. "You've done a wonderful job for us today. The gazebo, the audience, the stage, the reception inside ... it's all beautiful. Just like you." Trent kissed him. I was so proud of Jakob. Watching him blush like a young schoolkid at Trent's praise was adorable.

As those two talked about decoration, I pulled Mike aside.

"Mike, when you proposed to Trent, how did you know? How did you know he was the one?"

"We had been together several months. In my mind, I started planning trips we could take. The next summer. A year from then. Then I realized I couldn't picture my life without him. I knew he was the one I wanted to spend every day with."

"Even with the age difference?"

"That no longer bothered me. He made me happy. We were happy. I knew I wanted my life to be just like that forever. Thank heavens he said yes."

"You two are going to be awesome."

They got motioned back to the stage for a few more photos.

Soon the happy couple started greeting people. My parents were first.

"Mr. and Mrs. Wheeling, thank you for coming. I know you don't know us well, so it was sweet for you to make the drive," I could hear Trent say.

"I know how important you are in our son's life, so you are like family to me. We are very happy for both of you."

I motioned my parents over. It was nice to see Coach talking with the newlyweds.

Robert and Carol stepped up. I remember meeting him at The Showcase. I could tell they were offering the couple their best wishes.

"How are you, son?" my dad asked me privately.

"What do you mean?"

"I know how deeply you love Jakob. But there is always a special place for your first love. Are you okay?"

"I am. Part of me will always love Trent. But Jakob and I are gold. I hope for all this one day for the two of us."

"Have you talked about it?"

"No. Not even for a second. But I pretty much know I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

"When that day comes, your mother and I will be thrilled for you."

I looked at Jakob again. He was tending to some decorations and a table display. Would he want to spend his whole life with me? We were good — great — right now. Now. But forever?

Trent's parents visited with him and Mike. It was so incredible to see them get along. I never thought it would turn out this well. I didn't think Jakob's father could ever come around like that. I at least could be happy for Trent.

Some sort of news made Trent super excited. He and Mike kissed each other. His parents smiled at them. Huge steps indeed.

I grabbed Jakob and took him out a side door.

"Hey, take a break. You need a moment to enjoy yourself. You're here as a guest."

"I guess. I just want it to be perfect for them."

"It is. Because you're perfect."

"Whatever. But thank you, angel."

We sat on some hay bales and looked out into the fields. We took deep breaths to calm ourselves from the stresses of preparation. Jakob particularly needed it. The momentary solitude was a blessing.

"Quite an emotional day," I said.

"It is. I love everything about it."

"It won't be long until we have been a couple for a whole year," I said.

"True."

I got lost in what Mike said. Months from now. Next year. Years from now. Our 30s, 40s. Us.

"Jakob, ..." I paused. I don't know why I hesitated. I became aware my palms were sweaty.

"What?" he said, turning to look at my face.

"I know you will probably think it is because I'm caught up in all of this right now. But that's not it. I know I feel ... the same ... I know ... I see us ..." I went silent. I couldn't form the right sentences.

"Lance?"

"Oh for heaven's sake. I know I want to be married to you. It's nothing I ever pictured growing up. But I know I want to spend my life with you. And it's not just this wedding talking. I feel it. I love you. Would you want to be married to an idiot like me?"

"I'm not sure if this is a proposal or a discussion. But it doesn't make any difference. You are the only person I want to be with. Yes." Jakob nodded with a smile. "Yes. I would love to be married to you."

"Really?"

"Really. Nothing would make me happier."

We kissed. We kissed for a long, tender moment.

"I guess we should sit on this for a while. We'll need to talk about things, I suppose. No need to upstage their special day," I chuckled.

We kissed one last time and looked each other in the eyes. "I love you," we said at the same time.

We got up and walked back in and saw Mike and Trent had a moment to themselves.

"Tired of smiling and saying, `Thank you' yet?" Jakob asked.

"Really," Trent chuckled. "But it is great to see so many wonderful people today. And you two. Thanks for everything. All the help. Of course, all your support. Jakob, it truly looks magnificent. It's everything I could hope my wedding could look like."

"Did you ever picture a wedding growing up?" Mike asked.

"Ha. No. I didn't picture myself with a girl, that's for sure. When I accepted that I was gay, my mind never went this far. I guess you made it see further with your proposal. But to me, this whole setting is better than being inside a church. Nothing wrong with those weddings, but I love the character of this one. Thankfully, it didn't rain."

"Indeed," said Jakob.

Matt and Ali joined us. "You guys look amazing," Ali said.

"And amazingly happy," Matt added. "I'm so glad Trent found you, Mike. You two are wonderful together."

"We like to think so," Mike smiled. "It's nice that everyone else here seems to agree."

"Jakob, the place is beautiful. Even though it is the same place as our wedding, it looks completely different. It's awesome. Do you like your job?" Ali asked.

"I do." The two of them walked off to talk about things he had done.

Mike was talking to Matt.

I turned to Trent. We looked into each other's eyes. He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. We just looked. He could see my eyes tearing up. His did the same. A tear ran down his check. I wiped it away and reached over to hold him.

"Why are we crying?" Trent asked.

"Aren't people supposed to cry at weddings?"

He laughed and sniffed at the same time. I held him tighter.

 

I hurt.

When I left the hospital, they told Trent and Dad that I couldn't have another pill until lunch. My wrist was throbbing.

I felt like an idiot. A drunk idiot. How could I face anyone tomorrow?

I suddenly felt alone. I wanted a drink. But I was NOT going to drink again. I needed Trent.

I rolled to the side of the bed. It hurt when I moved wrong. Slowly I made my way to the couch. I sat next to where Trent was sleeping. It startled him.

"Wha ... huh? Lance? What is it? Are you okay?

"I hurt," I said.

"I know, buddy, but we can't give you the next dose until lunch. Maybe an aspirin or Tylenol?"

"I just swallowed one."

"Oh. What can I do?" he asked.

"Please hold me."

"Okay, buddy."

He lied down again, and I slowly, carefully, gently reclined my body on the couch in front of him. He placed his arm around me, holding me gently, but with enough strength so I could feel it.

"Thank you," I quietly said.

I loved him. It felt good to be next to him. He held me tighter.

 

I put my mouth at Trent's ear. "Maybe we're crying because the two of us made it. We're both happy with who we are and who we've found. You and Mike will always be my role models. I hope Jakob and I can be as happy as you two."

"You already are," he said, trying not to sob.

I whispered softer. "Don't ever think I stopped loving you, Trent. You will always be my soulmate and my best friend. I will always have your back."

"And I will always have yours."

We kissed each other. We meant it. Hopefully no one in attendance was made to wonder. We hugged again.

Mike stepped up to us. I held him.

"You two are the best friends anyone could hope for," I told him. "I love you both. I'm happy for you both. Thanks for including me in your lives."

Mike squeezed me tighter.

"Thanks for being in ours. We love you too. We always will."

For another two hours, we ate, we mingled and took pictures.

All the food stations had incredible arrangements done by Jakob. The whole reception area was stunning. He took moments to eat a little here and there, but he would notice me watching him tend to tasks. I winked at him. He smiled back at me.

Partway through the celebration, both Mike's and Trent's parents captured everyone's attention. Glasses of champagne were distributed. We couldn't drink it. In Trent's honor we were both holding up a can of Diet Coke. Jakob had thought of everything. Trent smiled at us.

Mr. Terry spoke: "Both the Kyriazis and my wife and I wish to make a toast. Today, our love for our sons has officially doubled. We are pleased and grateful and jubilant that Mike and Trent have found each other."

Mr. Kyriazi spoke: "To you both, we know the unpredictability in life will throw you challenges, but you have already shown that you will be able to weather those storms together. Take care of each other and love each other. Always know that we love you. To Mike and Trent!"

People really could change. I was happy the relationship between Trent and his father was repaired.

"To Mike and Trent," the audience echoed and held up their glasses. We took a chug from our can of soda.

I couldn't believe the world I was living in. Less than two years ago, I hadn't figured out who I was. Trent and I weren't even close friends. I fought so hard to resist my urges. The denial ... the mental frustration ... the shame ... the drinking. And now — now! — the past seemed so distant even though it really wasn't. I was in love. I was certain I wanted to be with Jakob forever.

 

—

 

My phone buzzed.

"Just checked into our hotel. Exhausted."

"But happy."

I sent a thumbs up and put down the phone and turned out the light.

"They made it there okay," I said to Jakob.

"Hmm?"

"I asked Trent to let me know that they arrived okay. They made it to their hotel. He says they are exhausted."

"Something tells me they will still muster enough energy to make love."

I laughed.

"Wish I did."

I leaned over to kiss Jakob in the darkness. He motioned me to move into his arms. I liked being held.

"Now that the magic of the wedding has passed, still interested in sticking with me?" Jakob's voice inquired in the blackness of the room.

"I'm ready to set a date."

He laughed. Then he squeezed me tighter. "We still probably should talk about things. Surely there is more to it than just love."

"We can figure those things out, but ... yeah. Let's make sure we are on the same page regarding financial goals, a house, family ... you don't want kids, do you?"

Jakob laughed. "We'd suck as parents." A moment of silence followed. "How long should we wait to tell our friends?"

"What's the purpose of waiting?" I asked.

"I don't know. Don't you think it looks a little copycat to decide on the day of someone else's wedding?"

"Inspired maybe. I wouldn't say copycat is the right word. But now that I think on it, we should let them embrace their moment for a while. Why don't we pencil in a date, and then tell them ... everybody ... in a few weeks?"

"Sounds good, honey," I said, snuggling deeper into his arms.

One of Jakob's hands reached down to caress my balls, like petting the head of a kitten. I loved his touch.

We lay quietly ready to drift off to sleep.

A crash happened in the kitchen. We jumped.

"I'll go see," I said.

I shimmied up some underwear and left the bedroom. The light was on in the kitchen. Evan was down on the floor.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I dropped a glass. Don't come in. You're barefoot."

I went back to put on sandals and returned to help. I held the dustpan as he swept the pieces into it. As he grabbed a Swiffer to mop up any tiny pieces we didn't see, I saw a bottle of wine on the counter. He had shattered a wine glass. I forgot we owned those. Actually, they were Evan's.

I sat down. I thought he might want to talk.

"You can go on to bed. I've got this."

"Do you want to talk, cousin?"

"Why do you say that?"

"You've never brought alcohol into the apartment like this."

"Actually it is left from a dinner we had with Mike and Trent ages ago. I just felt like opening it. I knocked off the glass, that's all."

"How much have you drank already?"

"I'm not drunk."

"That wasn't my question."

"I had two drinks at the wedding. And the champagne."

I looked at him. I didn't say anything.

"And I stopped for a beer on the way home."

"Talk to me."

"I'm sorry. It's very unthinking of me to have alcohol here. I apologize."

"That's not what concerns me. Something is bothering you."

Evan put the bottle away in the cabinet. Then he opened the cabinet, took it out and carried it to his room.

We were both only wearing underwear. Evan had nice patches of chest hair. I wished I did.

"What's wrong with me, Lance?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Mike and Trent are great. You and Jakob are the perfect couple. My thing with Kristy didn't go anywhere. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing. I would come hug you, but dressed as we are, you'd probably freak out."

"Try me."

I took that as an invitation to give him a hug. He squeezed me hard. I could smell alcohol on his skin. I immediately thought people could do that with me in the past. It made alcohol even more repulsive to me.

"It's okay," I whispered.

"What if I don't find someone."

"You will."

"I mean, Jakob is just an average guy who was homeless, and he lands you — this super hung, gorgeous stud. And ..."

"This super hung, untalented, idiotic drunk loser."

"You're not that at all, Lance. You may not think you are great, but you are. You've matured into an incredibly kind, giving person."

"Thanks. Just because you don't have someone right now, this is just one moment, one day, one week of your whole life. It's not like love finds you on a set schedule. Jakob and I weren't looking for it. Things just happen. I was in love with Trent."

"You were?"

"You didn't know that?"

"I guess not."

"BIG source of my drinking."

"I feel like no one is looking for me. I won't ever find anyone."

"Just be you. You're a great catch. You'll find a girl ... the right girl ... at the right time."

"If I do, will you teach me how to have wild animal sex like you?"

I laughed.

"Sex is sex, but love ... love is everything."

I got up from my chair and hugged him from behind as he sat at the kitchen table. I leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Love you, cousin. Good night."

I walked back to the bedroom. Slipping under the sheet, I curled up next to Jakob and felt his chest hair. I kissed him on the shoulder.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. We'll talk more in the morning."

I buried my head into the back of his neck. Evan was right. We were the perfect couple. I wanted to spend my entire life with Jakob. No question. What was the right date to make it official?

 

* * * *

 

While this is the second time we've experienced the wedding, the differences are what made it a unique read. A further discussion is on the blog: timothylane414sotires.blogspot.com. Look for the post "The Wedding – Part 2."

Email: timothylane414@gmail.com