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40
The day before Thanksgiving, we had a small gathering at the
radio station. A few of the evening shift came in. The station manager wanted
to wish us a pleasant holiday weekend and tell us he was thankful for the work
we accomplished there at the station. A cake was brought out too. On it were
the words, "Congratulations Cynthia."
"As sad as it will be to see her go, I am very proud of this
next step she is taking," he said.
Cynthia was the station's producer. She had actually applied
for the position suggested to me. Her final week would be the one before
Christmas. She would start the new job at the beginning of the year. The pay
would be equal to what she was earning here (even though the town of Sycamore
wasn't as big as Jackson Bend). She wanted to be closer to her family. Before
leaving for the shift, the manager called me into his office. In an incredible
— and surprising — bit of news, I was being offered her job. It was a promotion
if I wished to accept it. I immediately did. Karma seemed to be working in my
favor. It was a lot more responsibility, but I was challenged by it. The
manager had been impressed with my work this past half year and felt confident
in my abilities. He personally didn't want to go through the interview process,
so I was fortunate in that regard. I completely realized this was a great
opportunity for someone my age, but his confidence in my work and abilities was
humbling.
Mike and I would be spending the Thanksgiving holiday at his
parent's house. Mom had asked if we would like to spend it at home with her and
Dad, but I told her I wasn't ready for that, but I did agree for us to stop by
on the way. When we arrived, Robert and Carol were there.
"I am thrilled to be able to finally introduce Mike to you,"
I said.
Mike thanked Robert for letting us use the lake house
earlier this summer. He and Carol offered it to us again if we were ever
interested. He apologized for not being able to attend our Friendsgiving but
said they both appreciated being invited. My hands flourished as I conveyed
that it was hugely successful.
It was pleasant conversation, but I hadn't said much to Dad
at this point.
"Hi, Dad."
"Hello, son."
"How have you been?"
Robert watched the strained conversation from afar.
"I'm glad you were willing to stop by," he said. "I know you
don't really care to visit with me. I don't blame you. I continue to beg for
your forgiveness, but for your mother's sake, I really appreciate you doing
this."
"Thanks."
I'm not sure why I held on to the bitterness, but I was not
ready to forgive. Dad seemed thrilled at the news of my promotion. I had yet to
tell Mom. I let him know that it didn't begin until January 1 officially, but I
said I was excited about it.
Mom came over and pulled us back into the group. I shared
the news with everyone, who all cheered for me. Mike and I didn't hold back
affection. He would occasionally hold me from behind, and I put my arm around
him when he was seated. Robert and Carol seemed very happy for us.
Mike made an effort to talk to my father. I could tell from
his expression that Dad was not making small talk. He was seriously asking Mike
for his forgiveness. Robert came up behind me as I watched them.
"How are things between you and your father?" he asked me.
"Strained," I said, not taking my eyes off them. "But I
guess we are getting better. He just really hurt the two of us. Mike should
have been outraged. I was the one more upset. I'm not sure how much you know."
"Actually a lot. Your father has confided in me quite a bit
since you cut him out of your life. He knew he made a tragic mistake. It ate at
him for weeks. I know it can't be easy to forgive, but sometimes people need a
second chance. I hope you will consider that for the two of you to begin
again."
"Tell me, Robert. Has he fully accepted I'm gay? Is that really
okay with him?"
"I'm not sure I can answer that. I think he understands that
you are who you are, that it wasn't just a work of happenstance or some fickle
decision. He doesn't understand how it all works, but I think he knows you
can't change. Deep down, perhaps, he may wish you could, but I do believe he
knows that's not how it works."
"Sounds about like him. The wound was deep, but I can't say
it's not healing. The pain isn't as fresh."
"Well, you and Mike seem incredibly happy."
"Oh my gosh," I said, turning toward Robert and forgetting
about Dad. "We are! I moved in last month and we couldn't be happier. It's not
like the age difference doesn't occasionally rear its ugly head, but overall,
we are so madly in love that it just doesn't even come to mind. I consider
myself so fortunate to have found him. He's a wonderful man."
I stared at the piano. Mom asked if I would play something.
I played her favorite song, and she and I sang a duet. I played a Christmas
carol that we all sang. I then asked if I could play "If It Weren't For the Two
of Us." I explained it was from my play but that it was inspired by Mike and I
making it through some crazy months. They were eager to hear it. Following,
Mike placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.
Before long, we had to get back on the road. Mom had sweetly
made us snack bags for the drive. We hugged her for that.
"It's so nice to see you, Mike," she said. "I'm glad you
stopped by. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your parents."
We hugged her and offered our best regards to family and
friends.
On the highway Mike and I discussed everyone there. I asked
how the talk with Dad went.
"He's trying to make amends with me," Mike said. "He is
hoping I can help you find it in your heart to eventually forgive him."
"Can you??"
"Yes, Trent. I told your father I have forgiven him."
"YOU DID?!"
"Trent, I can hang on to hurt and pain or I can let it go.
Which would you prefer me do?"
"Well, when you put it that way ..."
Further in the drive, the two of us enjoyed harmonizing.
—
Dinner at his parents' place was wonderful. Mike's uncle was
there with his wife. He was glad to see his cousins. They all became very silly
together; it was a childlike side of Mike I had never seen. I felt a bit out of
that inner circle, but it was amusing to watch from afar. I loved how I was
immediately accepted by his relatives. There wasn't a single look or comment in
regard to our age difference.
Mike's mother asked me if I would join her in a glass of wine.
I agreed. Mike and his father were looking at something in the garage. My
presence wasn't required. We sat near the fireplace.
"So, Trent. I haven't really talked with you since you moved
into Mike's place."
Uh oh. Was she against it?
"Um. Right. It has been nice."
"That's what Mike says. He seems so ... alert, so full of life
again."
"I never really have seen him much any other way," I said,
starting to feel a little relieved on how the conversation was going. "He's
such an amazing man."
"He is. And I still feel you bring out the best in him."
"Thank you, Brenda" I said, not really sure how to respond. "When
he was ... I'm not sure how to phrase it ... in his `funk,' did he sound different?"
"I think so. When he came to visit following the breakup
with Ethan, he ... he just seemed defeated. That seems like an odd word to
choose. There was no competition, of course. But it was if the wind was taken
from his sails. The fact that you two have made this work makes me happy. I
want it to work between you two."
What a difference between her and my piece of shit as a
father. I was embarrassed to even bring up my own family.
"We are extremely committed to each other," I said. "I will
do anything in my power to make him happy."
She patted my hand. "I can tell. You're a good boy..." She
paused. "...you're a good man, Trent." I think if she had called Ethan a "good
boy," there would have been no awkwardness. Because I was recently out of
college, she probably thought I would be offended. "Thank you for being here. I'm
sure you would have much rather spent it with your own family."
As much as I wanted to immediately tell her "NO!!!" I was
able to resist. How humiliating it would be to talk about my father. "Mike's
family is my family. I feel that way anyway."
"Ohh, how sweet. You really are a
keeper, Trent."
I smiled. "Any ideas on what I could get him for Christmas?" I asked her.
She leaned forward. "I was hoping you could help me with that." We both laughed.
The fire crackled causing us both to look. Mike and his
father entered the room just in time to hear it. His dad instinctively got
fireplace tools to stoke and stab the flames.
His mother offered a glass of wine to Mike, but he said he
wanted a second piece of pie. It made me smile. He returned to the living room
with a slice of pumpkin pie with a monument of whipped cream. I liked that he
sat next to me on the floor.
Mrs. Terry told me several stories of Mike as a child.
Finally, he felt he had been humiliated enough and insisted she stop. When she
briefly mentioned a moment when Mike was in high school, I wondered if they
knew he was one of my high school teachers. They accepted me even though I was
younger, but I wasn't sure if they knew our beginnings.
An hour later, we all retired to our rooms. As we crawled
into bed, Mike left his boxers on. I slept naked. Despite his hang-up of
sleeping naked in his parents' house, I still let my hand reach below the
waistband to fondle his dick. He smiled at me before turning out the light.
I held him from behind as we snuggled in the initial chill
of the night. My hand still groped his cock within his boxers. He wriggled
around a bit pulling them down a foot.
"Are you wanting sex?" I whispered into his ear.
"No. I just wanted to give you easier access," he whispered
back.
He was hard as a rock, but we hadn't planned on sex while
there. I just kept stroking him in a regular rhythm as we talked.
"Remember Friendsgiving?" I asked.
"Yeah, sure."
"You told me that night that I was what you were thankful
for the most."
"And I was going to say it again before we fell asleep."
I rubbed his cock with more strength.
"Well, Michael Terry, I want you to know that this is the
greatest year of my life."
"You're 22, babe. You're just getting started."
"I know. But it is the greatest year because you are the
biggest part of it. Your family. Our friendships with others. Living together.
Every night since Friendsgiving I have said a prayer of thanks for you."
Mike's erection pulsed in my grip.
He rolled onto his back nudging his body over to mine.
"I love you, Trent. Thank you for walking into my room this
year. Thank you for trusting me and confiding in me. Thank you for being
willing to get through our temporary break. Thank you for falling in love with
me. You make me so happy; I can never put it into words."
"Those were pretty good words right there."
I continued to service his cock, at times absent mindedly,
as we expressed our thanks to each other.
"I love you, too. You are my world. I think the universe
wants us to be together," I said, looking down on him from above. There was
enough outside light coming through the window that I could still see his eyes
looking into mine.
"Oh?" he softly groaned. "Ungh ... oh, babe."
"I turned down a job that would take me away from you, and
then I get promoted at the job I love. It's fate."
"You didn't tell me that."
"I didn't want you to feel guilty. I wasn't tempted for a
second. There was nothing in the world that would take me from you. Certainly
not just money."
"ungh ... ungh ... oh babe."
"I was wondering. Do they know I was your student several
years ago?
"ungh ... Um. No. ... ungh ... Do you think they should?" He
breathed harder as I stroked him in our conversation.
"I don't know. I wouldn't lie, but I don't see a reason to
tell them. Yet, at least. They like us together.
Hopefully they would accept it better than my parents."
"ungh."
"You want to know a secret?" I paused. "I picture us together
60 years from now. Still doing all the wonderful things we do now."
"Want to know my secret?" he said, almost panting.
"What?" I softly told him.
"I'm going to come," he whispered.
"Holy fuck."
I moved my mouth on his rod and stimulated his shaft powerfully.
His hips lurched and I felt liquid sprayed into my throat and mouth. Mike kept
coming. I kept swallowing.
Mike exhaled deeply, spent from the surprise climax.
I moved up to kiss him deeply. "Happy Thanksgiving," I
whispered.
Our tongues shared his cum.
Mike slipped off his underwear. We were both naked. I turned
on my side to let him hold me. His arm stretched around me, and his hand
reached for my cock. It was lead. I put my hand around his, gripping it tight,
and we fell asleep in that position.
—
The return to work following the holiday weekend was
curious. It was nice to see everyone again, but now I had the slight sense of
preparing for my new role. Before long, someone would be taking on much of what
I was doing. Would I miss it?
As we were airing the 10 o'clock show, I was fielding calls
to Ed and Tara. My cell phone buzzed. Normally I wouldn't answer, but it was
the theater department at the university. Once I got the show back from the
commercial break, Ed and Tara were in dialogue. They suddenly saw me react
through the glass. My eyes flashed fireworks to them.
"Good lord!" Tara said on air. "Something has excited,
Trent. Trent? Are you okay?"
Within seconds I was on air explaining that my play had been
accepted to be The Showcase. Not understanding what all that meant, we wound up
taking 10 minutes of the show talking about the March production. They were
thrilled for me. Soon, callers were phoning in asking how to get tickets. My
head was in a whirl. It was happening so fast.
—
Following work, I met with the director of the theater
department. He let me know the details of my role from this point. I was
allowed to be a consultant if I so desired, but the director had the final say.
There was paperwork to fill out. But overall, he praised me for "a magnificent
piece of work." His words meant a lot.
Lance and Jakob were able to meet Mike and me for dinner in
celebration.
"What kind of paperwork?" Mike asked.
"Creative rights, university rights. On the off chance it is
bought, the university gets 20 percent if it takes place within a year of the
department putting it on."
"Do they ever get bought?"
"On occasion. There are theater groups all over the country.
They are always looking for new material. I doubt if anyone will want mine,
though."
"I'm just excited to see it," said Jakob. "Congratulations.
What an achievement."
"How much do you want to be involved in the next months?"
Lance asked.
"I'm not sure. I don't want to be a hovering control freak,
but I did envision how I wanted certain scenes staged, so if they are willing
to let me consult on those things, I'd be happy with that."
"When do we see it?" Jakob asked.
"Early March," I said. "I do believe there is a cast party
following. I'll make sure the three of you are on that list. Surely I can ask
for that."
`You must be so freakin' excited, buddy!" Lance said.
"Yes, but a bit scared, too."
"Why?" everyone asked.
"The Brutal Reality has some heavy material."
"But you dealt with it so well," Mike said. He looked at the
others. "I've read it. It's brilliant."
I smiled.
"Still. Part of it deals with what I went through with Dad.
Tariq's struggles are in there. Zach's emotions. Those people will be in the
audience. How will they feel about seeing aspects of their lives on stage? That
part scares me a bit."
"Surely we can prepare them beforehand."
"Tell, yes. Prepare? It's hard to watch some of the darkest
parts of your life."
"This all sounds so intriguing," Jakob said.
"To be honest, had I known you back then, Jakob, I probably
would have wanted to work parts of your life into the script. It's all about
the fact that you can't choose your family — only deal with it. Your life would
have been perfect for this mix."
"Hmm. Maybe I'll just have to be the sequel: `Jakob's
Story.'"
We chuckled.
"No, the title should be `With a K,'" Lance joked, referencing
Jakob's shares at the AA meetings where he always clarified the spelling of his
name.
As simple as Jakob's joke was, it made the wheels in my head
start turning. If I did start writing something new, his life was a tremendous
place for source material. I'm not sure I would go down that road, but I had to
admit, it inspired me creatively. I loved writing. Maybe if The Brutal
Reality was well received, I might actually consider writing another play. I
tried not to worry about if it might flop. I'm sure every playwright does.
It's good that rehearsals were in the evening. That would
let me pop in when they started. A little. I didn't want to hover.
November 30
There is so little space left in
this journal. Only enough room for a few last entries.
I felt this one should fit. My play was accepted into The Showcase. I usually
feel things
like "I'm happy" or "I'm lucky." I
honestly have to say today that I am proud. I worked
hard on that play. Often you pour your soul into a creative outlet and others
just don't
see it or don't get it. There was a lot
of emotion in that play. I'm glad it was
felt worthy.
Tariq, Zach, Dad ... they will
have a hard time watching it. That concerns me a little.
This year has been so ... I don't
know what to term it. Amazing? Full? Berserk? Graduation, coming out, falling
in love, new career, moving in with Mike, my friendship with Lance,
now The Showcase. It's amazing that my brain hasn't imploded. At the same time,
I feel
like the most blessed person roaming the planet.
—
It was officially December. I wasn't sure what Mike did in
terms of decorating for the holidays. What was his routine. What traditions did
he have?
We sat down to dinner with a simple stir-fry.
"What do you usually do for Christmas?" I asked.
"You're not planning a FriendsChristmas
are you?"
I laughed. "No." I continued laughing.
"Well, in the past, I usually go home to my parents. Ethan
went with me that year. We went to his family for New Year's. Usually just a
day."
"Do you put up a tree?"
"I did in my early 20s. I thought my place needed it. When
Ethan and I got the house, we bought a small live tree that year, just to have
one here. I have some decorations, but not a ton. I didn't put up a tree last
year. No one to buy for and I would be at my parent's house on Christmas Day so
... I thought, `Why bother?' I did put a wreath on the door."
"Oooo. Knocked yourself out, did ya?"
"I wasn't the happy, euphoric Michael you see before you
today," he said. "What are your thoughts?"
"I'm pretty open. I'm going to need a tree, though."
"Fine. I can go along with that."
Two hours later we were carrying in a huge box. Thankfully,
it only had to hang out of the trunk for a few blocks.
"When you said you needed a tree, I guess you meant right
now," Mike laughed as we set it down.
"We were in the mood."
It took us 30 minutes, but we had it all put together.
Although bare, it still looked tall and attractive in the living room. It was
getting late, and we were tired, so decorating would have to come at a later
date.
—
Two days later we had brought down boxes from the attic. We
placed the tree box up in the attic at the same time.
"How on earth did that giant tree fit inside this box? We
will never get it back in there," Mike said. I figured we would worry about
that in the new year.
The tree was pre-lit. I found all the cords and connections,
and he sorted decorations by type and color.
By the end of the evening, we treated ourselves to hot chocolate.
We sat on the couch, with only the lights on the tree to illuminate the room.
We admired our handiwork.
"Now that we are in this committed relationship, partner
..." Michael paused to give me a kiss. "...what are your thoughts on how to do
family?"
"Well, as I'm still not super cozy with Dad, I don't care at
all about spending it with them, but I suppose we should make an effort to see
them at least at some point. How do you feel?"
"I just have one wish," he said, taking a sip. "I'd like to
wake up Christmas morning with you in my arms in our own bed. How would you
feel about that?"
"How truly romantic. I love it. What about your family?"
"As I see it, we could do Christmas Eve dinner with your
family, stay here that night, and then drive to my parents Christmas afternoon
and spend the evening there. Does that work for you?"
"Totally. I love it." I gave him a deep chocolatey kiss. "I
love you."
I reclined on the
couch, my head resting in Mike's lap. We enjoyed just looking at the lights. I
had never thought how challenging it must be for some families to divide up
Christmas. Depending how adamant some mothers may get, I could see it being
stressful. It sounded like we had it figured out. I grabbed Mike's hand and
held it to my chest.
"We splurged quite a bit on Friendsgiving. How about we make
a pact to only buy one gift for each other. Save a bit."
"Whatever you would like, babe. You were already my gift for
this year."
I squeezed his hand tighter.
"What Christmas traditions do you have?" I asked.
"Other than going to my parents, nothing really."
"Did your family open gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas
morning?"
"Well, I don't know how it got started, but we would all
open one gift on Christmas Eve and then the rest the next morning. I'm sure
that's how it worked when Santa came, and we just kept it going."
"How about we start one of our own. Making love under the
tree on Christmas Eve and opening presents Christmas morning."
"Hmm. Making love under the tree almost sounds like a stroke
of midnight thing on New Year's Eve."
"Nice. However, I was thinking about asking the Owens for
the lake house for New Year's Eve. Unless you'd prefer to go out and party
somewhere."
"Lord, no. Crowds. I mean, it sounds fun, but once
you're in the thick of it, sometimes you just want midnight to arrive just so
you can just be done. I think the lake house sounds lovely."
"Of course, you did promise Lance a three-way," I said
dryly.
Mike laughed. "Oh yeah."
"Surely now that he is in love with Jakob, he wouldn't want
that."
"What if he suggested a four-way?" he asked.
"What, a man orgy at the lake house? Please don't bring it
up!"
"Don't worry. I won't. I don't see us doing that. But what
was the other bedroom like? Just the four of us enjoying the holiday together
might be nice."
I thought on it more and liked the idea.
"Hm. It might be a twin bed, but it could possibly be a full
bed. It's definitely not the size that we slept on in the master bedroom. And
bunk beds are in there," I remembered.
"If it's a full bed, what would you think about the idea?"
"Inviting them or the four-way?"
He laughed again. But I did pause to wonder if Lance was
going to keep us to that agreement. He was so deeply in love with Jakob, surely
that couldn't possibly be on his mind. I'm not sure how I would feel about the
whole thing. Mike and I were strictly monogamous. It would be weird — at least
to me — to bring in others. I wasn't sure I'd be comfortable with that.
However, the idea of the four of us spending a couple days together sounded
wonderful.
I loved December.
* * * *
The post for this chapter on the blog is titled "December." Blog:
timothylane414stories.blogspot.com
Email: timothylane414@gmail.com