Chapter 11

"If they come we can't be here," Princess states.

Princess has gotten nervous. Joaquin had just called his mother and let him know that he knew she was a member of the Illuminati. That was against the rules.

I turn and see Joaquin. He's taken his bottle out to the balcony. He's drinking Hennessy straight from the bottle. His emotions are finally getting the better of him. It's clear now more than ever that everything he wanted and everything he ever thought to accomplish was all gone.

"What am I supposed to do?" I ask.

"He ruined everything. They are going to come to get him," Princess states panicking, "They are going to kill him. It's over. It's fucking over!"

Princess is panicking. I watch as she starts heading out to the door.

"Princess wait!"

Ashley steps in the way of me trying to pull Princess back, "Let her go. She's afraid. She has a reason to be."

Princess leaves. Seeing the fear in her eyes makes me wonder exactly why she is so afraid. My heart is racing at this moment. Joaquin had basically caused suspicion. Our plan was going so well. I look back over at him. I can't blame him. He's upset. He just found out his whole life was nothing more than a lie designed and crafted. He was nothing more than a tool of a secret group that he didn't know existed until recently.

"They'll wonder who told him," I state, "They'll wonder who betrayed the Illuminati."

"Listen. We don't have much time. Knowing the Illuminati they are going to send someone here to investigate."

"When?"

"Now."

"Fuck..."

My heart is racing. Ashley is giving me a strong look but I feel so weak. I can't imagine that Quest's weak, passive girlfriend is the one here giving me strength. There was a time when I hated the sight of her. There was a time that she disgusted me. Now she was the only one in my corner here helping me. I don't know how to do this.

"What will they do to him?" I ask.

"Now that he knows about the Illuminati, he has no choice. Either he joins or dies. Whoever they are sending here will be investigating the situation."

"What do I do?"

"You have to convince him..."

I look back outside. I see Joaquin drinking heavily. Tears are rolling down his eyes. He's emotional right now and he has every reason to be.

"He's not going to listen to me."

"We don't have a lot of time. You need to make him listen to you," Ashley explains, "Go. I'll watch the door. They're coming Memphis and we better have our story right when they get here."

Ashley is right. Joaquin had just told his mother that he knew something that he shouldn't have known. They were going to come here to investigate why he said he wasn't joining the Illuminati. I could feel my heart beating through my chest at that moment. I know that everything rides on me convincing Joaquin to join the Illuminati now.

I head out onto the porch. I slide the door and sit in the lawn chair. We are several stories up. The city is beautiful and bustling behind us. That's when I see Joaquin. He's standing close to the ledge at that moment.

He's standing a little too close.

"Baby...get away from the ledge, OK?" I state.

"Baby?" he laughs, "You don't mean that."

It seems like everything he's learned is coming at him all at this one moment. I take a step closer to him and I watch as he leans his chest over the ledge a little bit. I stop. I don't want to startle him. Joaquin is scaring the fuck out of me right now. Tears are rolling down his eyes.

"Let's just sit and talk this out."

"No."

"Joaquin..."

"Everything I've ever known was a lie," I state, "How old was I when she gave herself up for me? Was I a teenager? Was I a kid? Was I even born yet?"

I don't know the answers to any of those questions.

I was tired of catering to his feelings though. If I had told him the truth from the beginning maybe it wouldn't have hit him this hard now. I was trying to spare his feelings and that was the problem with all of this...from the beginning.

I take a deep breath.

"They come to you when you are at your lowest point. They make you believe that they can save you. They make you believe that they can give you the world. Your biggest dreams could be granted. Just that easily. You can go from nothing to everything."

"So it's all a lie? Am I really even talented?"

I can see him second guessing his entire life right in front of my eyes. Every time he got a standing ovation, he is questioning who was behind it. Every time he got a hit single, he's wondering if it was manipulated somehow. Every time he's accomplished everything in his life, he's wondering if his mother was behind it.

"Of course you are," I tell him, "It's just there are some people who have a little help. That doesn't take away your talent. I promise you that."

"I don't want anything to do with them," he tells me, "Do you hear me?

"I know. I wish I could tell you that you have a choice."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think they'll take no for an answer."

"Are you saying..."

"I'm saying your mother will kill you if you refuse," I explain, "I can't be certain but I think so."

Joaquin's tears are rolling down faster now, "How the fuck can you say that to me, Memphis? She's my fucking mother."

"Nothing matters to these people but the Eye. Your mother is only your mother sometimes. She is the Illuminati's Informer all the time. I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong, but if you forced her to choose...I don't think she'd choose you."

"You're wrong," he tells me.

Just at that moment a doorbell rings in the apartment.

It's them.

I look over at Joaquin. If he was going to jump, he would have done it already. At this point, it was hopeless trying to convince him of anything else. I know at this point they are here and there's nothing I can do. I look over at Joaquin. Our eyes lock. I can't force him to do something that he doesn't want to do. I don't want to force him either.

That's when I realize just how selfish I've been. I want him to imprison himself in order to help set me free.

I sigh, "I get it Joaquin. If someone had warned me what I was getting involved with before I got involved, I wouldn't have done it either. I don't blame you. I want you to know that. I understand. I'll go ahead and deal with this."

I leave at that moment and go into the apartment. I can feel the presence of people in the room. As I walk into the room I realize that Joaquin's dining area is full of people. I don't recognize most of the people but I do recognize some. I never recognize members of the Illuminati, but I do see Joaquin's mother. She is sitting at the head of the table.

"I was just getting your guests some water," Ashley states.

I look over at Ashley, "Thank you..."

"Leave us," Joaquin's mother tells Ashley, "I wanted to talk to my son-in-law for a moment."

Ashley looks at Joaquin's mother. She looks at me. I can see the nervous posture in her stands. She motions underneath the table. I can see Joaquin's mother doesn't have her hands on the table. She has her hands beneath the table.

I approach the table slowly when Ashley leaves the room. As I get close I wonder what Joaquin's mother has underneath the table.

"Sit," a man stays to me.

The man looks familiar. I've seen him before. He's the maintenance man in our building. He's come to fix my fridge a few times. Next to him is a girl who I used to use often as my Uber driver. Across from her is an old couple that lives several floors down from me. I remember their names as Mr. and Mrs. Baxter. They were retired surgeons who sold their house for the city life. They were always so nice to me when they greeted me in the hallways. Now they look at me with cold, unfriendly stares as though they don't recognize me at all.

"Why do I have the pleasure of all these guests?" I ask.

"We'll ask the questions," my mother-in-law states, "Sit."

I sit at that moment. The eyes around the table stare at me. They glare. It's the first time I've seen so many Illuminati members without their masks. This scares me. Maybe they didn't have the time to wear their masks. Maybe an emergency was called. I was hoping that. Another thought enters my head however. It makes me wonder if they are revealing themselves to me because I probably won't be allowed to leave this room again.

"If you all are hungry I can make you something to eat or..."

My mother-in-law ignores me. She reaches her hand from underneath the table and slams a gun on the table. The gun is pointed towards me. It just sits there. I swallow my spit at that moment. My heart is racing. I am sure this is how I'm going to die.

"My son called me," she explained, "He knew about the Illuminati. Not only did he know about it, but he knew I was a member. He also told me that he would not be joining."

"Oh."

It's the only thing I can say. I hate myself at that moment. The seriousness of his tone brings shivers down my spine.

"I had faith in you," she explains, "I had so much faith in you. I just knew that my son had found someone who he could love. Someone who could convince him to see as I see...as everyone else sees. I wished he had met someone who can make him see with one eye."

Just at that moment all of the members at the table cover one eye. They look at me in the most sick, ritualistic way ever. I look at the door. I'm wondering if I could make a run for it. Then I think about Joaquin. If I leave, they'd kill him.

If I stay they'd kill him anyway and me as well.

Do I take the chance? Do I make a run for it?

"I need more time..." I can explain.

"TIMES UP!" my mother-in-law screams.

She grabs the gun. I realize at this moment I'm doomed. It's over. It's completely over.

Just at that moment I see Joaquin walk in the room.

"What's all the screaming for mother?" he states.

His mother throws a handkerchief over the gun when her son walks into the room. All the members of the Illuminati focus on Joaquin when he walks into the room. I realize that she doesn't take her hand off the trigger even though she covers it. Joaquin isn't stupid though. From the way he glances at the handkerchief I think he is very well aware of what his mother was about to do.

None-the-less, surprisingly he plays it cool. You can't even tell he just had a mental breakdown. He walks over, pulls a chair next to me, puts his hand over me and kisses me. His kiss is open mouth at that moment. It's erotic. It's loving. It's the ideal kiss that a newlywed couple would share.

"Son, I was just having a...spirited debate with Memphis here," Joaquin's' mother smiles across the table.

"Well mother I'd appreciate if you didn't raise you voice at my husband," Joaquin offers.

I'm surprised he's talking like that knowing that there are all these strangers in the room. I am shocked beyond belief.

"I got your message," Joaquin's mother states.

"Oh that?" he states and starts laughing, "I was just teasing is all..."

I laugh as well. My laughter is more nervous laughter. Joaquin came last minute to assist me and I was damn sure going to join in if I could.

"Joaquin loves to joke around," I state.

Joaquin's mother smiles. It's a sweet smile but there is a menace underneath it, "So what's the punchline of this joke."

"I know of the Illuminati and I'll be joining," he states.

"You will?"

"Of course. Anything my husband wants."

Joaquin looks at me. For a moment I believe its acting but there is something uniquely real about the way he looks at me. He pulls me in. He gives me the sweetest look at that moment. A part of me believes him when he says it. A part of me thinks that he's only partially acting. Why else would he be in here right now. It was all for me. Even at the lowest point in his life Joaquin was willing to sacrifice hi own emotions to be there for me.

I lean into him at that moment. I pull his face in and I kiss him. I mean it too. It's not a pretend kiss. It's a real kiss. It's a thank you from me to him. It's an acknowledgment that we are in this together.

I wonder if the members of the Illuminati can see how real our relationship is too. For some reason they all seem at ease. Joaquin's mother stands up, grabbing her pistol with the handkerchief still concealing it and shoving it into her purse.

My mother nods, "I'm glad to hear that. I should be going my love. I'll see you at the initiation?"

"Of course mother," he states.

I sigh as the members of the Illuminati start walking out of room. I'm relieved. I look over at Joaquin. He squeezes my hand. He doesn't let go of it the entire time. I squeeze back. It's a small thing but I know he's there for me. I'm there for him. I've never felt so in love with Joaquin as I do in this moment.

For the first time since Quest died, I don't have him on my mind.

For the first time since Quest died, I realize that I'm completely at happy with Joaquin.

"I love you," I whisper to him.

This isn't pretend. It's just for us. It's just for him and me. He leans in and kisses me. His soft lips press against mine. His hand tickles the side of my face.

"One more thing," a voice comes from the door.

It's Joaquin's mother. She has a gun in her hand. She's not hiding it anymore. She's pointing the gun directly at me.

Joaquin doesn't hesitate to jump in the way of her aim, standing in front of me and blocking me with his life.

"What the hell are you doing? I told you I'd join!" Joaquin screams.

His mother keeps the gun pointed, "Someone disabled the bug in this apartment. Someone told you that I was a member of the Illuminati. Someone's been breaking the rules..."

The look in Joaquin's mother's eyes is the look of a murderer. I wonder how many times she has killed the Illuminati. I wonder how far she would go. Joaquin doesn't move. He doesn't stop blocking me.

Just at that moment we are interrupted.

It's Ashley.

"It was me," Ashley states, "I did it."

I didn't know Ashley was still in the apartment. I watch at that moment as the visitors focus their attention on Ashley. They look at her. She looks at them. She doesn't fight. She doesn't struggle. She just nods. I watch as the visitors escort Ashley away, quietly from the room. My heart is racing. I start to follow but I'm stopped. It's Joaquin. He holds my hand keeping me from getting involved. I know it's a losing battle but I realize that Ashley just gave herself up to help us.

Joaquin's mother is the last in the room. She walks over to Joaquin and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm so excited son," she states, "So excited. See you soon."

With that she turns and walks out of the room, following behind the others, leaving Joaquin and I alone.

Joaquin stares at me when she leaves. We embrace each other. I've never felt so alone. I've never felt so afraid in my life. If it wasn't for Joaquin I didn't know how this evening would have turned out. I feel so shaken up about Ashley still, wondering what is going to happen to her.

"It's OK," Joaquin states, "I'm here..."

"You don't realize what you just did," I tell Joaquin.

"Yes I do. I sold my soul. I sold my soul to this...cult," he states, "I did it for love."

With that he leans in and kisses me. I hug him. Tears are rolling down my eyes. I'm the one emotional now. If someone had warned me back then I would have never joined. If someone had told me how crazy this was going to get I would have never gotten involved. I had warned him. He knew all the risks and he still did it. He was still joining the Illuminati. He was doing it for me.

~

It's the night of his initiation. I look over at him. I didn't pack anything. We drive up to the familiar mansion that I remember. The old eye-saw looking mansion. He parks his car outside of it. The street is empty. No one else drove. Everyone else got dropped off, but I remembered how to get here. I would never forget.

When he parks I take a look at him.

"You look...damn..." I state.

It's the only thing I can say. He's wearing a tuxedo and it fits him perfectly. It's tailored around his broad shoulders and makes him look like some sort of regal prince. Joaquin is perfect. He leans over at that moment and gives me a kiss.

"I can say the same thing about you," he states, "You look so nervous though..."

"You know why."

He stops and pauses.

"It's the last time we are going to see each other," he tells me.

"You can come with me."

"And do what?" he asks, "Hide for the rest of my life."

"We'd be together."

"We'd be looking over our shoulders," he explains, "They want me. They don't want you. If you get away...they might let you go. If I get away they'll never stop hunting us."

My heart is getting so heavy. The idea of being separated from Joaquin is scaring me so much. I don't know what to do.

"I can stay."

"Don't say that," Joaquin responds grabbing me and pulling me close, "My heart can't handle you saying that..."

"I mean it. I can stay."

"You'd be miserable," he responds, "You know it and I know it. You want freedom and this might be the only time you'd be able to get it. I want you to do this. For me."

I sigh. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

"I love you man. I'm serious."

"I'll stick to the plan," I state.

I open the car door but just as I open it, he pulls me back. He grabs me by my hand.

"Wait..."

"What is it?"

"I know you love me. I love you too, but...I also know that you had feelings for Quest," he explains, "I need to know something."

All of a sudden I'm scared. My heart goes in my chest.

"What about Quest?"

He shakes his head.

"If he were alive, who would you have chosen? Who would you have been with?"

My heart is racing. I had a feeling this was the last thing Joaquin wanted to get off of his chest. I think he always wondered it. If this was the last time we saw each other I think he wanted to know this more than anything else.

"I loved Quest...deeply," I explain to Joaquin, "But I love you. If it was then, I'd choose Quest. But if it's now. If it's today...I'd chose you."

I don't know if this makes him feel any better. I don't know if this satisfies him. I can't tell by his reaction. He just nods. He accepts it regardless of whether the question satisfies him or not. Maybe he just doesn't want to push further into it. Maybe he wouldn't like the answer if he kept pushing. We get out of the car together and he quickly comes to my side.

He holds my hand. He's nervous. I can tell. He's as nervous as I was the first time I came to my initiation. We start walking towards the door. We do the secret knock and the door opens.

The familiar women in the gown is standing there.

"Welcome back darling," she tells me, "You're masks are downstairs."

I am Joaquin's escort this time. I'm initiating him in the process in the same way that I was initiated. We go to the old elevator and take it all the way down. Joaquin still hasn't let go of my hand. He's nervous. He's so nervous.

When we get downstairs we can hear music. There are several hallways bridging from the main elevator. I recognize the room right off from the elevator.

There are men standing there. They are waiting for me. They silently are waiting for me. I recognize someone else as well. Princess. She's standing with a gown at the end of the hallway. She is leaned up against the wall. She has her mask in her hand. I know she's waiting for me.

"You go in there," I tell Joaquin, "In that room...they'll come get you when you undress."

"You're leaving me?" he asks me.

I nod.

Joaquin looks hesitant but leans over and hugs me. He hugs me tightly.

"I love you," I tell him.

"I love you too."

I know what's going through his head. He's wondering if this is the last time we talk to one another. I'm wondering the same thing. I don't want to let go, but Joaquin breaks the hug and literally pulls himself away with force as though it's taking all his willpower to do so. He turns and goes to the dressing room that has his name on it without looking back at me. Maybe that's the only way that he knows how to do it.

I turn and start walking down the hall where I meet Princess.

"I'm sorry..." Princess states, "That must be hard."

A part of me wants to be upset with her about what happened back at the apartment. I want to be upset about her leaving like she did. I can't be though. I need Princess right now more than ever.

"Ashley..." I state.

Princess shakes her head, "Sorry."

"Dammit..."

"She was found in her apartment. They are calling it a suicide on the news."

I knew better. They killed Ashley. They killed her in cold blood. I shake my head. I want to cry. I want to tear up. I lean up against the wall. I start breathing heavily. A cold sweat is dripping down my head at that moment. I feel so fucking anxious.

"The plan..."

"It's still on," she tells me, "I was able to get a gun. It's in a room down the hallway. Here's your mask and a key to the room."

She hands me the two items.

I turn down the hallway to go to the room but all of a sudden I'm stopped. I turn to see none other than Prairie. He has a mask on but he takes it off and looks at me with his same wincing smile that I hate so fucking much.

"Hey you...not so fast..."

"What is it?" I ask, "I have to go get ready for Joaquin's initiation."

"You have time," Prairie states, "Someone would like to meet you."

"Who?" I ask.

"The Source. The planner behind the Illuminati."

Princess and I look at each other. No. This isn't good. I didn't have the gun yet. I didn't have a weapon. My heart is racing.

"I should go get ready to meet someone so important," I state.

"Good idea," Princess backs me up.

I start walking down the hallway but Prairie stops me. He stands right in my way blocking me. He smiles teasingly.

"No time. The Source would like to meet you. Now."

Princess and I exchange looks. I can tell that she's horrified. This was NOT the plan. The plan was for me to kill the source after I had a gun. Chaos would ensue and give Princess and me enough time to escape the Illuminati for good.

It was too soon. It was way too soon to meet the Source.

Princess just looks at me as Prairie leads me away. She wasn't good at this. Ashley would have known what to do if Ashley was still alive. Princess was too afraid. She was basically petrified by fear at this point.

Prairie leads me down the hallway. There is a white room. One of many rooms. I'm sure the other members of the Illuminati were in all of these rooms getting ready. Prairie takes me to the white door. He opens it. He stands there at that moment.

"This is your door," Prairie tells me, "The Source would like to talk to you alone."

I'm panicking.

I take a step into the room.

The room is warm. There is a fireplace in there. The fire flickers up against the stone. Even with all the heat from the fireplace it feels as cold as I walk in. I can see all the symbols of the Illuminati on the walls in sculptures. Pyramids. Owls. Eyes. My heart is racing.

I walk into the room and see a figure sitting in a chair, next to the fire. The figure is just waiting for me.

"Are you the source?" I ask.

My voice doesn't sound as confident as I wish it would have. I sound weak. I sound afraid. As I get closer I see the figure turn around.

"Yes."

I almost faint.

The person gets up and turns to me I see a ghost come back from the dead.

I realize that the source is Quest.

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