Date: Sun, 8 May 2005 22:55:50 -0400
From: Parkinglotpaty@hotmail.com
Subject: Kyle part 1

If you are not of legal age, don't read this story.  If it's illegal have
this kind of material where you live, don't read this.  This story contains
graphic descriptions of sexual acts.  If this offends you, do not read
this.  This story is fictitious (kind of) and any similarities to real
events or people and strictly coincidental. Don't call me if you think it
is you.  This story, or any portion of it, may not be sold or distributed
without permission from the author. Contact listed below.


				   Kyle
				  Part 1


Its late, all I want to do is get home get a drink and go to bed. I just
finished my last show for the week and I have the next two days off, thank
God. I know, your probably wondering where I am and who I am. My name is
Scott, I am an actor, well to be exact I am an ensemble member in a
Broadway show. I sing, act, dance, whatever, you name it I can do it. I've
been in this show for almost 6 months now. Maybe you've heard of it, it's
called Momma Mia. It's been around for a few years, it's based on the music
of Abba and ... I really don't think your hear to read about a show. Well,
I moved to NYC mainly because the Small Town USA just couldn't do anything
for me anymore.  So I packed up one day and drove to NYC sold my car when I
got here and just started from there. I'm just under six feet tall light
brown hair (yes it has the highlights in it) and if you haven't seen
anything about Momma Mia, at one point or another the entire ensemble are
singing and dancing in swimsuits, so its safe to say that I'm not fat or
anything, I have my abs and I like them. I went through a long time in my
life when I was over weight so after I graduated high school and started
college I began to take better care of myself. Now that you have a little
of my background and things lets get on back to the story.  I close up
everything in the dressing room and grab my bag, I look like crap, but you
do 2 shows in one day and an interview on 5 hours of sleep and see how much
you care. I throw on my coat grab my bag, and head down the steps. Although
I've been doing theatre since I was 10 and I've been on Broadway for a few
months now, I always have a ritual before I leave, I say it keeps me a
little more down to earth. I walk back on stage and say good-night. You see
years ago I lost my grandmother, I was 13. She is the main reason that I
love singing so much.  She was my vocal teacher for years, and always
pushed me to be my best.  When I was a junior in college my mother died of
cancer, she and I always had a special bond together and she was also my
theatre instructor for 2 years in high school. My little ritual I started
when I was a senior in high school, it was just when I leave I walk out on
stage and say goodnight, not to anyone in the house or theatre, just to my
grandmother, something that helps me keep her in mind. My first show
without my mom I did the same thing so I always so it now, I feel
incomplete if I don't. I begin to go out the stage door. I look up and
standing there is someone I haven't seen in years, Kyle. He and I went to
school together, we were not friends we never talked, I just always had a
crush on him, and my friends called it an infatuation. I did talk to him
once, it was about 3 weeks before he graduated, he was a year ahead of me,
I told him that I thought he was cute and that I had a crush on him for the
past year and finally got the guts to tell him, he proceeded to call me a
freak and screamed faggot at me.  Evidently he was a bit homophobic, now do
you see why I left the small town life behind. Anyways I figure he's there
to see one of the girls in the show and I just smile at the others at the
door, yet my stage manager grabs me and pulls me aside, he begins to tell
me that Kyle claims he's here to see me and wants to come backstage to
talk. The man of my dreams from 10 years before wants to talk to me. I was
astounded at this why I still am not sure but I tell him to give me a few
minutes, I go back inside and run up to the dressing room, remember I told
you I looked like shit, well I fix that real fast. Before I know it Kyle is
standing in the doorway to my dressing room.  Kyle has always been short,
he's around 6 even, with red hair in high school he never play sports but
he wasn't one of the geeks or anything. I still remember the first day I
saw him, I was running really late to school, I'm talking like my hair was
not doing what I wanted it to do and I had nothing to wear kind of lates. I
arrived at school and walked into the office to get my admit to class.
There he sat, doing some of his homework for I was guessing another
class. I walked up to the counter and explained why I was late to the
secretary, leaving out the hair and clothes thing. Since my mom worked in
the school I basically got away with anything. So she gave me the admit and
I went to class. After that class, I got whatever it was I needed from the
teacher and began to walk to my choir class. He was leaning against his
locker talking to a friend of his; it was right outside the door of my
class. To make things of that day even odder, where I had parked was not my
normal spot, but instead right behind him.  Maybe it was his jeans, or the
blue and white Abercrombie shirt he was wearing, or the fact that his hair
was so perfect (it was colored blond at the time). But instantly I fell in
love with him. Every day for the rest of the year I made a point to see him
one time during the day.  He was also a big part of my coming out that
year, it was over a game of Truth or dare with my then 2 best friends, the
question was who do I have a crush on, I answered with him and they looked
at me blankly, one they had never noticed the boy that parked close to us
daily.  They were just amazed that I was honest about the question and told
them I was gay. Back to the story. There he stood in the doorway to my
dressing room, I just looked at him, and he smiled. That was something I
always wanted to see, was him smile at me only.

"You did really well tonight, I always thought you would get out of that
town and do something big, I'm glad my first show that I ever saw on
Broadway was you, it gives us a history, and it also brings up old
memories"

"What do you want Kyle" something came over me at that point I just wasn't
ready to deal with that

"You still can't put that behind you can you?'"  he asked.

"No, and what real reason do I have, you called me something that offends
me more then anything else, I told you something that I had never told a
single guy before, and you go and act like a complete asshole. I referred
to you by that name for 3 years after that, Asshole.  And it fit, it made
me feel better, it also hurt me more then anything, you know I couldn't
talk to a single guy for nearly 4 years after that because my first crush
on a guy called me a faggot, it hurt me more then anything, so no give me a
reason I should forgive you."

"Well for one, I was in high school and had never dealt with like that
before; I was basically a loner, never participated in sports, clubs or
anything like that. I was always taught that being gay was horrible and
didn't really know how to act over it."

"Whatever"

"You know I did have a specific reason for coming here tonight"

"Unless it's to say you're sorry and that you brought me a million dollars
as a present to prove it I really do not want to deal with it, I've had a
long week and I just want to go home and sleep."

"I know you have, I can tell that you have so much fun up on stage, you
also seem totally different when your onstage then in here."

"Its called acting Kyle, that's what I get paid to do"

"Will you just let me talk please, I have spent all week trying to get
myself to do this and I now understand how you felt the last time we
talked. I spent the last 10 years working for the military, I started
college and began to feel incomplete, I joined the Army soon there after
and spent the past 5 years working for them. At least up to last January, I
quit the Army, and began to get my life sordid out.  I couldn't love
anyone, and felt that I was going to spend the rest of my life alone, I
didn't want that. Then one night I was sitting at home watching TV when a
news report began talking about how people need to allow themselves to be
what them want, and how to do that. It said start a book, write out
everything that, if you could change in your life, that has occurred in the
past, I started doing that, I put you down I don't know why, I put down
that I wouldn't have treated you so horribly when you told me you liked me,
I should have been at least flattered that a guy would think that of me,
gut instead things turned out the way they were. I went home to visit my
parents one weeks last month, somehow my mom started talking about what
people that I went to school with were doing these days, my dad mentioned
your name, and said he overheard someone talking about you being in a show
on Broadway. For some reason I felt something come over me when he said
that. I told him I needed to go out for a bit, and began thinking;
somewhere in the middle of my jog I realized that I had some feelings for
you. I went back home and went to bed, thinking about you. I woke up the
next morning and drove what I had jogged that last night, and things popped
into my head again. I always remembered seeing you with two people in high
school. So I looked them both up in the yearbook, then tracked them both
down. Todd told me that you were living here and in this show, I took
sometime off of work and came up here to see you, and well do this..." at
this point he walks up to me and hands me a single red yellow rose, then he
did something I wasn't expecting he kissed me, not like a French kiss, but
on the cheek.  Chills came over me, but mostly I began to cry. He looked at
me really strangely. This caused me to smile; I pulled out a book from my
bag.  "It's a photo album" I told him "these are pictures from every show I
have done since I was 15. My mom and I were really close one thing she
would always do was give me a yellow rose, she told me that red was for
making someone feel special for a few moments, but yellow was meant to tell
them that you loved them and supported them no matter what happened in
there life.  My dad never has gotten me flowers, and all my friends that
have come to see the show, don't bring me anything, you are the first
person, to bring me any kind of flowers since I've been on Broadway, but
also the first person to give me a yellow rose since my mother died. It
just holds a special place in my heart."

He smiled again "Good because that means you forgive me, I just have one
more thing to ask u."

"Really what's that?"

"Will you go on a date with me?"

"Kyle do you really want to know how long I have waited for you to ask me
that, or should I just say yes."

"I know how long you've been waiting, since October 18 of 1995"

"What, wait a minute, October was the..."

"...the first time I saw you"

"How do you know that?"

"cause I remembered it, the whole thing, I found out after Miss. Ross gave
you the admit what you had for class and stood outside to wait on you to
leave hoping that you would say something, but you didn't, so I looked up
in the file systems what you drove, and moved my car near yours. So I could
see you when school got out that day."

"So you planned that day, but then when I told you that I liked you, you
went off one me and all that"

"I was confused I wasn't sure if I was gay, wasn't sure of my feelings on
it. But mostly knew that if I was gay I couldn't do the whole military plan
if you were with me."

Not knowing what to reply with, and still shocked over him in my dressing
room, a knock echoes from the door.

"Come in!"

"Scott it's late and I need to lock up, sorry but I got to kick you both
out, are you coming to the bar with us?"  said my stage manager, Rob.

"Rob, I'd love to, but I didn't sleep well last night and today has just
completely worn me out, otherwise I would. But we'll be done in just a
second."

"Fine, I just want to get going soon."

"Alright, hang on."

With a sly little smile on his face as the door closes Kyle stands up and
says, "So you're going home, do you want me to walk you?"

"On any normal night I would say that I know how to get to my apartment.
However, after this weekend, I'll take you up on it."

"Great let me carry you're bag, you need anything else?"

"No I'll get my bag, I'm not one of those people that need someone to wait
on them hand and foot, I've survived almost all my life that way and now I
don't need someone to help me"

"I'm sorry I just want to make you see that I'm sorry and want to be near
you. I want you to see that I made a mistake and want to prove to you that
I'm not an asshole that fucks people over"

"Excuse me, but you did fuck people over, I had one of the worst senior
years because of the one word that you screamed out in the middle of lunch
one day, not that everyone in the school already knew, but the simple fact
of knowing and then realizing that being gay meant hitting on guys too
somehow shocked the people in our school. My car got keyed, I hardly talk
to my father now because it got back to him and he kicked me out of the
house, I got beat up in the back lot of school one day because of it.  Now
I know I can't blame you for all of that, but the scars of my past are deep
and a sorry is not going to fix them."

Well, then I see just where I stand and how you feel about me, I'll leave
now, Scott Thanks for your time, maybe we can put the past behind us one
day."

Kyle stands up and walks towards the door, as he reaches for the knob he
looks back, the piercing blue eyes are hypnotizing, he opens the door,
walks out I hear his heals hitting the floor as le walks down the hall. As
I sit there I think that he is leaving me and my life forever.  I stand
looking at myself in the mirror in front of me, the steps get further
away. Realizing that this can't be happening I run out the door of the
dressing room, running towards him, I call out his name. I see him at the
bottom of the steps, he begins to turn around, I see a flow of tears that
have been flowing down his face. I get to the bottom of the steps in front
of him.  Look him in his eyes and lift my hand to the back of his head
"where are you planning to stay for the night, maybe we can talk through
this a little more and make at least a friendship from it." He smiles as I
wipe away a tear "that would be nice; my hotel is kind of shitty." I smile,
kiss his forehead and tell him I'll be right back, go back into my dressing
room, I grab my bag, turn out the lights and go back to him.  Wondering if
I'm making the correct decision, as I come down the steps I see his smile
again.  This little bit of hope from him let's me know its going to be ok.


To be continued...

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