Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004 16:05:26 -0400 From: "Navita, Sammi, Tali, Greg Greg" Subject: Ladulcevida, chapter 9 Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the life and problems from the POV of a young man. If you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are currently reading from, then refrain from reading it. This story is a continuation of Rain_On_Me Feel free to send email or comments about the story to sum1plezzCall_911@hotmail.com or sammie_g86@yahoo.com -Sorry about the wrong email that I had up before. Edited LaDulceVida- The Sweet Life I AM A GAY AMERICAN -Governor McGreevey ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "That whole band is leeching off my son's talent!" It had started as Eric's idea for me to meet his family. We were supposed to be in Ellis Island by now, but his father had been talking for hours. He had taken a liking to me, which was sort of strange because when I was around he seemed to be screaming. Eric said that I fit in the family well and now I figured that it must have been too well. "Well sir, I think that there will be a time when everyone will recognize Eric's talent." Eric was just sitting off to the side. He didn't speak at all. I wondered if he noticed the goddam time. We were getting SO late for the concert. We had turned off our phones to watch his father talking. "You think, you think maybe you can talk to them?" "Pops!" Eric probably said. I wanted to laugh a little, finding the moment a little awkward but still finding it nice that his father trusted me so much. His father looked back at Eric, "What you are happy where you are? Acting like a bitch to these industry people. You should be getting paid more! Haven't I taught you to have pride in yourself?" "I do have pride in myself," he said but it was ironic that just as he said that he put his head down. "Pride?! I finally get you out of that gay phase and now you are out getting fucked by the Industry." Dang. I could feel how embarrassed Eric was. It was a little funny to me that his father was so mad that Eric wasn't getting any money. It was almost like he was saying the money belonged to him or something. I didn't get why he would care so much about whether Eric was getting money or not. Eric wasn't complaining... "Dad, Damien wasn't a phase," Eric had suddenly explained. "He wasn't? You think having sex with your fellow man isn't a phase? Those queers will burn in hell..." "Amen!" I heard Eric's old grandmother saying. The whole family was looking on, almost spectators, they encircled the dining table watching. Eric's father spoke like a preacher. His grandmother lifted up her cross and kissed it. His two brothers were near, both of them sitting together speaking low comments about what their father was saying. Eric looked at his family, "How can you guys be so hateful, in a land that has already been scared in hate?" Eric seemed so touchy on the gay subject. I had never been too open on it. I mean I knew that minorities would always be hated. There was no reason in worrying about it. I didn't represent the entire gay community, I represented one person...myself. "Eric, didn't I teach you better?" his father's voice boomed, nearly scarring me, "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve..." I almost laughed at that old saying, but couldn't. "Why can't you just accept it sometimes?" Eric said, "Look at how many gay people there are...imagine how many gay people there are that are hiding. Look at Governor McGreevey. He has to resign because of who he is..." "That governor is a FAG! He should be sent to jail. I trusted him to protect my city, my home and my family!" "And he was doing that this whole time wasn't he. Or is he a bad governor because he's gay?" Eric's family started to go into a little frenzy. I wondered how many times my family would sit around and argue ethics in the middle of eating. I can't really remember the last time that I ate a full meal with my parents, not to mention having an argument about it across the table. I could tell my mother that I was in a gay relationship and she would probably care less. I felt sad for Eric, but then happy that his family actually cared about him enough to talk about these issues with him. Suddenly I saw that his father really didn't have a response until Eric's mother came in. She seemed like the type to REALLY support her husband and support his manhood. That was very unlike my own parents. I remember seeing my father always being the one to cheer my mother on. "Eric, the problem isn't that he's gay. The problem is that the mayor has a wife and two children. He lied to them this whole time..." She seemed a lot less confronting about the gay issue than Eric's father did. I had become like the grandmother and two brothers. I just wanted to observe everything and keep my own opinions to myself. Eric spoke again, "He isn't to blame. Blame society. The community would not accept who he was, so he became who they wanted him to be. Damien taught me that..." He was right in a way. Elle had told me that no rose grew out of pavement. If he was born to know that straight people were right, then he would try to become straight. Society really did make a person. He did have a point there. His father's face went angry that Eric had beat them into such a corner, "That dead boy had such a big influence on you, now look where he is---" I couldn't believe his father would say something like that. I saw Eric slamming his fist onto the table. He was shaking unbelievably that I thought he was mad. I began to panic, no wanting to be caught in this house when the argument goes to even bigger heights. "---isn't that right Adrian? If you live your life as sweet as a lemon, you'll die with a taste that is as sweet as a lemon?" I looked at Eric. I was scared to betray him in front of his family or to go against a past that seemed so very touchy with him. His father was harsh and he looked like he was going to explode. I had to say something, something to stop it from happening. "Yeah," I answered his father and began to look at Eric slam his spoon on the table, "GOD, LOOK AT THE TIME ERIC!" I hadn't even noticed it. Just looking around for diversion did I notice that it was almost 8:00. We had wasted half the day in this house arguing. Eric suddenly didn't look too mad anymore. The performance started at 9:00 and I was sure that the ride from here to Ellis Island was probably an hour at that. I couldn't believe we were going to be late for our own concert! We ran out into the house...into the rain. It was totally a bad day. My hair was a short fade that I wasn't too worried about, but Eric's hair was long. Just a little water made it fizz out in every direction! It was a little funny, but I was so shocked that I couldn't laugh. I watched Eric barging out into the middle of the street like a madman trying to stop taxis or whatever. Suddenly he got one and grabbed me by the hand. We ran into the rain and into the taxicab, me going in first and him coming soon after. It wasn't funny but I knew we were laughing so much. We were on our way to Ellis Island before we knew it. We were going to get a boat off of the Hudson or something like that. I really didn't notice what was going on. I looked at my phone. "God! 10 messages. Someone was blowing me up." I put the phone back in my pocket, afraid to hear the voice mail and listen to Hype scolding me about forgetting about the concert. I knew I shouldn't of turned off the goddam phone. I laughed, blowing it off. "They better have enough time to fix me up before I go on stage," Eric said causing me to laugh because he had never been a person too concerned with his looks, but now he REALLY looked like a mess. "Its not that bad," I teased. "Well don't get too far of yourself, we both are soaked." "You two are lovers?" a voice had come from the front of the taxicab. I looked up to see the guy who asked the question. The cabby was a sort of middle aged woman with blonde hair. She had soft eyes that were very comforting. Her eyes felt a little too comforting for my taste. The way she looked back in the mirror at us was almost like we were looking into a reflection of our soul. I looked at her a little confused, "You don't recognize us?" "Two young handsome boys come in the back of my taxi, holding hands and rubbing up on one another," the girl said, "I recognize you as a couple. But if you mean something more, then I'm afraid not." I was SO surprised. She didn't know that we were Vida, the singing band. It was really strange. The woman looked at me now, her blue eyes were sort of hypnotizing, but I looked away towards the streets going quiet. "Yeah we are sort of a couple," Eric said suddenly. "Eric!" I called out. I couldn't believe he had told her that. She was a stranger. What if she found out who we were? What is she saw our pictures on a billboard or saw us performing in our music video? The media would pay good money for her story. "Relax," the woman said, "Oath of the taxi drivers. Whatever you say in the taxi, stays in the taxi." Eric gave a little laugh. I looked deep into his eyes. I should have been pissed at him, but he seemed to trust the woman. Having that experience with Antonio, I figured I would never trust a stranger again. However, if a stranger could make Eric say that the two of us were like a couple...I guess I couldn't be too mad at her. I mean he considered us like a couple. I hesitated, "Ok...I guess...if its fine with Eric...I guess you can call us a couple..." "So you guys are like intimate or something?" Eric answered again, "We have been." I couldn't believe this was the same ERIC! He seemed more comfortable around strangers than he did around people that he saw everyday. He looked so free today, speaking his mind so openly. "How was it?" "Hmm...it was...I guess you can say it was revealing. It answered a lot of questions I had." I felt Eric's hand massage into mine as he said it. I felt so comfortable with him next to me. His body aura was warming. I couldn't help but to lean over and dig my head onto his shoulder. I relaxed my head onto him. The feeling was such a feeling that I was totally complete. "You guys are out of the closet?" the cabby asked, making my eyes bulge a little. "Well before this I figured myself not to even be bi," Eric explained, "I liked only one man, but now since this is the second guy I'm have feelings for then I guess I'm bi. I am not really out though..." "Aw, so you guys sort of have to hide your love. Oh excuse me, is it love?" "Hey---," I tried to warn, knowing that this taxi driver was getting way out of line. She was getting into our business way too much. "Yeah it is love," Eric interrupted and my mouth almost dropped open, "I mean...it can become love. Love is always hard to define. All I know is that I always want to be with him...especially now that all we have is one another." He pulled me up from my feet and took me close to me. I held his hands closer to mine. It made me wonder what he meant by saying that we only had one another. I wondered if he meant that we were always on tour together or was he addressing that we had to stick together to get over the little Syndicate situation? I had so many thoughts in my head. It was almost like digging into Eric's mind, parts that he was willing to show me. All I could do was listen and hear every word. "So how new is the relationship?" "Very new," Eric said laughing and making me laugh a little. "So you really can't tell if its love yet?" "But I have had so much emotion. I have been in a sort of mourning for so long and my heart has really been so cold. It's hard to explain unless you experience it yourself. Suddenly your whole world has been taken away." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We had arrived to Ellis Island later than even I thought we would get there. The concert was already packed. The lights of the theater that we entered were streaming. It looked like the concert had already begun. The rain outside was so heavy from the tropical storm that was rampaging through the country. It feel heavily on Ellis Island because the island was near so much water. Before long it was Eric and I running through the rain, past towards the coliseum. We were holding hands, which was probably the only way I could see through all this rain. My head was bent down and the rain poured onto my eyelids. I couldn't see a thing. Eric seemed to know the way easily. I wasn't sure how he had managed to see with all the rain soaking his face. All I remember was running up to the security. They didn't even ask who we were before they shuffled us into backstage, rushing us even more. Running up the corridor, I could see our whole crew standing there. Hype was the first face I made out through the raindrops. I jumped to there looking at the wardrobe and the changing room. I figured I would wear anything as long as it was dry. "No!" Hype said, "Don't change! I thought he was going to be mad, but that wasn't the first expression I got from him and the rest of the crew. They seemed at first very, very anxious. Still I looked sort of sad that we were too late to even change. I looked around wondering where Jay was. "Hype I'm so sorry," Eric started apologizing, "It wasn't Adrian's fault. We were stuck..." "I DON'T CARE," Hype quickly said, "Run out there now! Jay is completely alone. You guys can still get into the second half of the song!" "But we need to change," I said suddenly, "Look I'm all wet. Look at our clothes..." "I don't care!" Hype repeated, "If you want to get paid tonight, then perform tonight!" Shit! I couldn't believe what I was doing. Eric and I were ushered on stage before we could say a word. It was surprising at first that the crowd started to roar when they saw Eric and I come onto stage! I mean, we were all wet and soaking...wait...we were all wet and soaking. I finally realized it. Two pretty boy band boys walking on stage soaking wet with our muscles showing out of and our nipples erect from the cold rain. I looked down at how nice I looked. Then I looked at Eric. He was such a sight. His hair which was usually either braided or pressed back into a ponytail was now all wet and laying flat against his skin. His shirt curved every spot of his chest and stomach. His pants stuck to his thighs. It was so gorgeous. Eric had taken the second verse from Jay's eager lips and began to sing, "You made my dream come true And with secrets you only knew You caressed my soul A dream that grew A bird that flew A day that came Give me your body, your love As you touch those certain places From the low up above Give me your body, body, your love." His voice was much softer than Jay's was. Eric had the kind of voice that could rock babies to sleep in an instant. The girls loved it and I knew we were probably getting to the climax of the song. Eric and I began to rock to a melody of Ohs and OhOhs while the girls started to get a little crazy at the bottom of the stage. Something just didn't seem right today, but I couldn't see why. Water was dripping down my forehead and I knew it just wasn't from the ain outside, it was sweat too. My heart was racing...what was so different about this performance. I didn't want to freeze up, I knew this was probably going to be our last paycheck for a long time. This crowd was becoming 'too' rowdy as Eric took up the chorus again with Jay and I singing backdrop. The lights were too hot, the stage was too small. I couldn't see where the back of the stadium ended. Everything seemed so different this time, everything seemed so wrong. Where were the guards! Where were all the fucking guards?! I looked around down at the stage and realized that this arena didn't have nearly as many fucking security guards as Madison Square Garden. I looked at Eric then back at Jay. Eric always stood away from the crowd a little, but Jay... Looking downstage at Jay, I realized the crowd was probably getting way too excited! My heart thumped! All I wanted to do was scream. Get out of there Jay! Move away from the crowd. Jay gave us a little jealous look that made me almost want to choke him. He probably thought we arrived late and got wet on purpose. That was when he did it...he was trying to act OVERSEXY! It was funny at first, as Jay walked towards the crowd, lifting up his shirt to show his abs. He began to shake the girls' hands. "Give me your body baby! I need your body babyyyyyy---" Suddenly as Jay sang a part of the song that I was even yet to hear, I heard a loud crash. The barricades that were set up had been broken. A hand reached up and snatched at Jay! I couldn't take it anymore. I dropped the microphone and ran after my cousin, planning to pull him back. That one hand seemed to be trying to strangle him, but then slowly there were more hands, more girls trying touch him. I looked over at the wings, the security was taking too long. I went to Jay and grappled him by the stomach trying to pull him back onto stage. The crowd had him by now though. They pulled him into the mass hive and suddenly I could feel something grasping onto my ankle. Jay was swept away into the crowd, out of my reach. Suddenly now the security got clue! I felt the hand around my ankle yanking at me and suddenly I tripped hitting my head hard on thestage. Silence. For a moment I thought I was dead. My head had hit the stage so hard that as I lifted up my hand. I saw blood. The person had not let go of my ankle. More people were pulling at me trying to pull me into the crowd. I was looking up and could only see the bright lights above my head. I wasn't dead, but I had almost been knocked into a concussion. "Adrian!" suddenly I could hear Eric's voice and all the rest of the sound in the theater. O god, I didn't think this could happen! Eric reached to grab me, but his hands were slippery from the rainwater. He couldn't save me. I was being pulled out into the crowd. "Eric..." It was the last thing I could say before I knew I wasn't on stage anymore. At first I was being suffocated, being sent to the bottom of the floor. As I got up, all I wanted to do was jump back on stage, but it was impossible. The hands were everywhere, pulling at me from every possible direction. I could see nothing but the faces of the girls eagerly ripping my shirt off. They had succeeded and for a moment I wondered if it were possible for a woman to rape a man. My shirt was in pieces and my hands were quickly trying my hardest to part the girls and find out how far back into the crowd I had been carried. I was stronger than the girls of course, managing somehow to push my way to a wall. So many faces were there. "This way!" a voice had shouted at me. Suddenly there was a pull, but this one was different. It was from a man. At first I wondered if it was just some gay guy at my concert instead of the girl. The guy was hooded, looking real strange. He definitely stuck out. I allowed the strong hand to pull at me, taken by the thought that he was probably trying to save me. I had no other choice than to trust in this man fully. We ran, the girls were still pulling at me from all separate directions. There was nothing fiercer than teenage fans. His hand had taken me though. He was almost like a guardian angel, pulling me away from the hands of hell. The hooded man took me towards the back of the arena where there were clearly not as many lights and the girls seemed to have lost track of who I was in the darkness. I felt bad for some of the girls. We pushed past them, knocking them down to the floor and all. Jay probably would have laughed if he had seen something like that. All I saw were bodies falling to the floor as we pushed our way to the back of the coliseum. So many girls were there that it was ridiculous. My hooded hero had taken me past the girls, and, at last, out of the coliseum. It was raining outside, still, probably even harder than before. The boy had taken me back, back towards the alley part, where the rained seemed to be less dense. The alley was empty and even though I had no idea where we were on the island, I felt safe. "I can't thank you enough," I told him as we faced each other, his face still a little covered from the hood. "Don't mention it." His voice was a little weird. It seemed slow, like he had to pronounce every single syllable. At first it seemed funny, but then it seemed so sincere. It was a comfortable voice, not soft but deep. "The girls can get a little crazy on me. You know, if you want an autograph, I'll be more than glad to sign it. Anything for my hero." I gave a little laugh, but realized that he didn't laugh back. I could only see his lips from how his head was bent down below the hood. His lips were cute, bubbly and kissable. The type of lips found more on people like Angelina Jolie. Still they were chapped and unkempt. "I'm sorry. I'm not actually a fan," he said, his fine pink lips parting a little revealing a brown complexion. "Oh!" I said, very embarrassed. I guess I had become used to an autograph being used like it was gold. "I actually came to the concert to see you." His mysterious voice, his tone and everything seemed to make my stomach wade a little more. If this wasn't the strangest way to go about things, then I didn't know what was. The mystery man pulled out a flyer of Vida from his pocket and handed it to me. Eww...it was an ugly picture... "Me?" "I mean I never heard your music until tonight. I saw your picture on a flyer," he explained, "You see, I'm in sort of a dilemma. I seemed to have forgotten a lot of things. No one can help me remember, but there is one thing I do remember. I remember your face. I remember your hazel eyes." From that moment on I wasn't sure if I wanted to back up and run or stay to hear the rest of it. The way his head tilted down as his hood dripped with the rainwater was crazy. I was uncomfortable for no real reason. "Take off your hood," I said, fearful and anxious. Suddenly he did... "Who am I?" The feeling that I had felt this whole night was justified. The past had returned and this time he looked like perfection. The rain across his face, the look in his eye. He looked wonderful when he was wet, no doubt. He looked like an angel and yet I knew if he was an angel...then I was the devil. If his life was sweet, then mine was bitter. There was no mistaking this face looking back at me. I had never heard his voice, but now that I heard it I would not forget. I remembered him...but I didn't know him. He would never let me forget. He had a vendetta...a curse. He had set it on me because I was the face he saw. I was probably the face he could blame for what had happened to him all that long ago. "Damien. Your name is Damien "