Nifty needs you. Donations keep all the writing you enjoy being available. https://donate.nifty.org/

 

I thank you for the kind words about Laramie. This chapter should evoke some sort of emotional response, or at least I hope it does.

As a reminder the previous chapter ended in September 2023.

 

 

19

 

October 7, 2023

Laramie Jenkins (34)
Cooper Snow (40)

 

Laramie

I was slightly in a funk. Cooper didn't seem to like what I got him for his birthday this week. He didn't say that, but I sort of felt it. As we drove to Kansas for Grayson's wedding, he insisted we take his SUV, as if it were better than my pickup. Granted, it was more comfortable, but it was my family, after all; I should have driven.

The new hire at work was fine, but he seemed to lack any enthusiasm. I liked it when our passion showed in our work. He had just come off better in the interview.

Maybe my blue mood threw our sex off too. On his birthday, it was fine, but it was ... fine.

Cooper had managed to nod off as I drove the first half.

I was excited to see Grayson again. It seemed surreal that he was getting married. My little brother. I was happy to be one of his groomsmen.

Since our April visit, phone calls with Mom and Dad were better. We at least lasted three or four minutes. But there was something in their voices; they were glad to hear from me. I noticed it more with Dad.

"You need a break. Want me to drive?" Cooper said, as he yawned and stretched after becoming awake.

"I'm fine, but when we stop to pee, I'll let you switch with me."

The wedding was in Wichita. We would spend the night in the city. I hadn't planned on going back out to the farm in Eureka. Cooper said he would pay for the hotel, so we didn't have to leave early. I could have paid for it though. I knew he made more money than me, but it wasn't like I was poor. I was doing fine.

"Thoughts on your brother's wedding?" Cooper asked.

"I'm excited for him and Miranda. He'll always be my little brother though."

"You sound like Natalie."

"How?" I didn't understand the comparison.

"She frequently tells Corey, `You'll always be my little boy.' He hates it."

"I can see why. Ugh."

Cooper mildly chuckled.

We needed to get gas, and I needed to pee. I pulled into a gas station. Cooper pumped gas, and he paid on his card before I could hand him one. I wished he would stop doing that.

Both of us got something to drink. We still had three hours left before we got there.

 

Cooper

The nap had done me some good.

Laramie seemed slightly on edge, but he was much better than our last visit. At no time has he needed to pull over to throw up.

I reached over to put my hand on his arm. He moved it to lock fingers with me. We held hands for several minutes before he let go to take a drink of his soda.

As we got further into Kansas, it was interesting to see roadside stands selling pumpkins and squash. Some had other seasonal vegetables and fruit, but the fall selection was really strong.

I loved fall. Lance and Jakob got married in the fall. I was glad that Grayson and Miranda chose this time of year. Summer weddings can sometimes turn out to be so hot. Natalie and Daryl lucked out that it was the 80s instead of the 90s. Or 100s.

"How do you feel about Grayson getting married?" I asked.

Laramie thought on it.

"Hm. Probably about the way you did about Natalie's."

"What? I was married to Natalie! That's not the same."

"No. But you were in each other's lives about as long. Once we got to be college aged, we didn't live together anymore. All those years before we were a part of each other's daily lives."

"I suppose."

"You were happy for Natalie, right?"

"Absolutely."

"And I am for Grayson too. It's just weird thinking of my younger brother getting married."

I wondered if Laramie wanted to add the words "...before I did." In our rare mentions of marriage, it never seemed to be something he planned on doing. Truth be told, I was afraid to. I thought if the two of us got married, Corey would be teased at school. Or worse. I didn't want any fights or bullying because of me. The world had advanced more than my days in high school. Heck, marriage between men was now actually legal. But still, I could picture Corey dealing with garbage he didn't need to once word got out.

I wondered if Laramie ever thought about it.

"I think it will make Mom happy," he added. "She needs good things in her life right now."

"Is her health okay?"

"It's never good. It settles. Definitely better than when I was living there in my 20s, but ... I'm not sure if the doctors will ever get a grasp on it. She's accepted it for what it is."

"That's sad," I said.

"It is what it is."

Laramie found my hand again.

As we got closer to Eureka, he started reminding me of directions. As we approached the farm, I remembered the gravel driveway.

"You're home," I said.

"Jackson Bend is home. This is my parents' home."

I thought about that. I didn't think of my parents' home — the house I grew up in — as "home" anymore. So many people do. The two of us have had bitter feelings over family in the past years. Was that when your personal definition changed? I just knew Corey gave me a sense of home.

I should tell him that one day. But he would accuse me of being mushy.

 

Laramie

Well.

Here I was again.

I didn't feel a mess of nerves and anxiety like last time. I just felt blank. This was a place. It wasn't home. There were some good memories here; there were some painful ones. It was a farm in Eureka. That's all it was.

Mom welcomed us on the porch. I hugged her. Cooper reached out his hand, but she hugged him too.

"How are you feeling, Mom?" I asked.

"Fine. Just fine. Don't worry about me. I'm just wrapping up dinner."

We stepped inside. Dinner smelled like pot roast. Mom confirmed that it was.

"Your grandma is comin' for dinner," Mom said.

"Oh good. It will be nice to see her."

Cooper agreed.

"She's going to spend the night here and then ride in with us for the wedding."

"Is Dad outside?"

"Yes. He'll be in shortly. I'm sure he heard your drive up."

"Did he ever finish the raccoon carving?" Cooper asked.

"I'm not sure."

Cooper and I decided to go investigate. He was working on that back in April. Surely, he had. Once inside the barn, we saw it, along with a rabbit and duck. They were all on a shelf. The scale of the three next to each other didn't match, but each carving was very good.

Dad walked in.

"It's nice to see you," he said. "Both of you."

He shook our hands. He told us a few things that had changed since our last visit. Mostly news about crops. I knew that wouldn't interest Cooper. My partner chose to just roam the barn. There was so much hay now compared to the spring.

We heard Mom call us to dinner. I thought I had heard Grandma drive up too. Cooper exited the barn first. Dad pulled my arm. Because the two of us were alone, he hugged me.

"I'm very happy to see you," he said.

Hearing that pleased me. I gave him a tighter squeeze. He and I didn't hug. Following our last visit, things were better.

 

The Next Morning

Laramie Jenkins (34)
Grayson Jenkins (31)

 

Laramie

We pulled up to Eberly Farm just outside Wichita. It appeared to be an event space for just such occasions. I thought it looked to be a nice place for a wedding. As I was in the wedding party, we were there much earlier than the other guests. The folks would arrive an hour later.

Because everyone was coming from different towns, they hadn't done a rehearsal the night before. Gray and Miranda weren't superstitious, so we all gathered to talk about the blocking and who would come in first and all that. No one was dressed yet. There were two rooms to the side, one for the bride and one for the groom. Once everyone felt confident of how the ceremony would proceed, we all adjourned to our appropriate rooms.

Gray's best man was a friend from college. They both lived in the same town. Immediately after graduating, the two of them were roommates for a couple of years. He got married when he was 25. A coworker and I were two groomsmen.

I was so rarely this dressed up. Tuxedos and I weren't a good match. I looked in the mirror. As much as I didn't fit this look, I admitted that I looked sharp.

Gray stepped over.

"You ready?" I asked.

"I am."

"Just know, over time, things tend to cool in a relationship. It won't be hot and heavy forever."

"Seriously, Lar'. Are you giving me advice on love? You?"

I laughed. "I suppose it is not my field of expertise."

"Are you saying you and Cooper aren't all hot and bothered for each other anymore? I thought gay guys fucked like rabbits."

"What a thing to say!!" I paused. "Okay, we did for the first few months. Sure. We still have a very good sex life. It's not quite as rambunctious as it was at the start, but love grows in all sorts of ways."

The other groomsman looked at me like I was an oddball. I wasn't sure if my words sounded hokey or if he hated the gay aspects.

"This sounds like a talk a dad is supposed to give," Gray said.

"OUR dad??!" We both laughed. "Yeah. Don't expect that." We laughed harder.

It was still forty minutes before the ceremony was to start. I stepped out to check on Cooper. He looked so dressed up. I was used to seeing him get dressed for work many times. Suits were his look. And he looked wonderful in them.

I walked up to him.

"Well?" I asked, holding out my arms.

"We have a problem. This isn't going to work."

My arms dropped. I looked down at my clothing. "What's wrong?"

"You're going to be the most handsome person up there. No one will look at the happy couple."

I lifted my head and smiled at him. My hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to me. We kissed.

"You look beautiful," he said.

"Thank you."

 

Grayson

I watched my brother through the opening in the doorway. He kissed Cooper like it was nothing. As it should be. Years ago, he would never have dared do something like that in Kansas. He would have been too afraid.

His words were so funny. Miranda and I had been together longer than those two. I knew what he meant about the sexual frequency diminishing. We knew if we were going to start a family, we shouldn't wait long. Now, sex was going to be more functional than pleasurable. However, I planned to blow the roof off tonight. It was our wedding night; it needed to be special. I was fucking my wife like there was no tomorrow.

My wife.

This was happening.

It was real.

I couldn't imagine spending life without her. I knew that was why this was the right decision. She would be a great mom. I hoped I could live up to the bar she would undoubtedly set.

The next 35 minutes were a blur. I could hardly remember walking out to 150 people gathered just for me. For us. More of them were probably here because of Miranda, but I saw my handful of relatives, a few college friends that lived close, several coworkers ... and Cooper.

My brother had done well. The two of them seemed like the real deal. Would a day ever come when he and I would switch places? Would I be a groomsman for his wedding? Even looking at him in a tuxedo, I just couldn't picture him getting married.

They had only been a couple for nine months. I was rushing things for that train of thought.

The bridal march started playing. Oh man. This was real. Miranda appeared in her dress. She looked so beautiful.

Right this minute I was the luckiest person in the world.

I caught my breath. This was happening.

 

Laramie

I remembered Corey just wanting his mother's wedding to be over. That was now me. I didn't mind being on the stage, but standing for this long ... still ... in one place ... got old. And the tux started feeling hot.

I looked at Cooper. He looked at me. We smiled. He wasn't paying attention any more than I was. My eyes used their best telepathic abilities to say "I love you" to him.

 

—

 

An hour later, everyone was taking their seats for dinner.

Grandma was seated next to me. My parents were on the other side. Only a few aunts and uncles made it. They weren't at our table.

Grandma leaned over to the two of us. "So, do you think you fellas will tie the knot some day?"

"Grandma, we've only been seeing each other for less than a year. Besides, I'm not the marrying type."

Did that answer insult Cooper? I hoped it felt it didn't reflect poorly on him.

"I just wasn't sure what the going thing was with the ... oh, you know."

"Gay people?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yes. I didn't mean anything by it."

"You can say it, Grandma. Gay. Say it."

"Gay." She slapped my wrist. "I didn't mean anything by that. In fact, you two are so handsome, I don't see how you could possibly do any better."

Cooper laughed hard at that. Leaning over, he said, "Spending the rest of my life with this man would be heaven."

Why didn't my answer sound like that? Not the marring type — what kind of fucking lousy answer was that?! I could take the simplest thing and ruin it.

I gave him a peck on the lips to show my appreciation for his answer. Someone at the next table saw us and turned away with a scornful look on their face. Fucking Kansas. Fuck him. He probably felt I was an embarrassment to my parents.

After dinner, a band played music. They were a good country band.

"Before you get any ideas about asking me to dance, I think a few people here might throw things at us."

"Who cares about them?" Cooper said. "But I get it. I'll just reserve my dancing moves for The Black Stallion."

"You can show me your moves in bed tonight."

"Sounds good."

He held my hand below the tablecloth.

We watched Grayson and Miranda dance, as well as many others.

"Dance with me, Laramie," Grandma said.

"Really?"

I looked at Cooper. He smiled and nodded.

"Let's do it!" I told Grandma.

My parents smiled at us when they saw us on the dance floor. Cooper whooped in support.

 

Grayson

We were exhausted. We took a break from dancing.

Miranda wanted to go talk to my brother and Cooper.

They asked us how we were holding up.

"Exhausted," I answered. "But we're having a great time."

"As it should be," said Cooper. "Make it a day to remember."

"So have you two set a date?" Miranda asked the gay couple.

"What is this??!" my brother retaliated, but with a smile. "Is this some organized conspiracy?"

"You two are perfect for each other," my wife said.

"That we are!" Larry answered. "But give me time. I'll ruin it."

"Don't be ridiculous," Cooper told him. "You're stuck with me."

"You sound married already," I said.

The two men smiled at each other. Cooper kissed my brother. Mom looked to see if anyone was watching. Her expression looked uncomfortable. I was disappointed in her. Larry needed the support of both of them. Dad had come around much better. I could tell my father and brother were building a new relationship. That was a start.

We pulled up chairs to visit. I noticed Larry was not drinking anything alcoholic. I respected him for that around his partner.

Cooper asked if he could take a picture of our family. Mom and Dad got up to pose with us. Cooper found an attractive background and we turned. He took a second one with Grandma included.

"Can I have one with the two of you?" I asked.

I handed my phone to Dad. Cooper and Larry stood with us. Dad took a couple.

"If I may?" Cooper said. He handed his phone to Dad.

I found this amazing. It was the most I felt we acted like a family since Phillip was alive. And I loved it. I looked at my parents. Dad was smiling like he hadn't in a long time. That made me happy. Mom was smiling, but not as big. I knew she liked Cooper. She seemed taken with him since he had a son, but her face still didn't approve of the two of them being gay. There were efforts to conceal her objections, but Larry and I could see it. I hoped Cooper couldn't determine all that in her expression.

In my heart, I hoped the two of them would last forever.

 

October 26, 2023

Laramie Jenkins
Cooper Snow

 

Laramie

"Yeah. I can come over tonight. Sure." I ended the phone call with Cooper.

I didn't know why his request bugged me, but it did. He said he was eager to see me, which was great, but it always seemed like we had to be at his house lately, take his vehicle, let him pay.

Cooper was wonderful, but lately I had felt like anything about my life didn't measure up to his. I hadn't felt these feelings since Roman broke it off with me. I needed to shake them off, but I had let it get under my skin the last couple of weeks.

Even our sex had dwindled to once a week. The last night it was actually really good was the night of Grayson's wedding.

I was on edge.

Usually knowing I was going to spend the night with Cooper lifted my spirits. My work suffered after the phone call. I felt like calling him back and insisting we stay at my house, but I just let it go.

I could have showered at his place, but I needed to stop at home first anyway. I flipped through the mail before giving my body a quick rinse.

I showed up at 6:20. If he wasn't making anything, I was going to suggest Jake's. I felt like a burger.

It was routine for me to walk in. Since he gave me keys on my birthday in March, I never knocked anymore. I did like that about staying at his place.

We kissed when I walked into his study. I didn't smell anything cooking.

"Are we going out for dinner?"

"Or delivery. I'm open."

"Good. I'm craving a burger. We haven't been to Jake's or McGee's in a long time."

"Ehh, I don't feel like a burger. How about Chinese?"

I sighed. "Fine, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Yeah! I guess!" That was said a bit too snippy, but it was what I felt.

"What's wrong, Laramie?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. I like Chinese food."

"You sure?" he said sincerely. I didn't want to argue.

"Yes. I'm fine." It wasn't convincing.

"We can do delivery, or if we go pick it up, I can pick up dry cleaning on the way."

"Sure," I said flatly. "I'll drive. We can take my truck."

"I can drive," he said back.

"Let me guess, because my truck isn't good enough?!"

"What's going-"

"You always want to take your SUV. We all know it's nice! I get it." I hadn't intended to start an argument. We never fought, but I was just irritated this time.

"You're overreacting. Since I had the errand, I was just offering to drive."

"Overreacting? Was it overreacting when you wanted to stay here last weekend when Corey wasn't here? You haven't stayed at my place in three weeks! But in that time, I've been here at least six times. I guess my house just can't compare to this one."

"Laram-"

"I guess my truck can't compare to yours!"

"Don't get all-"

"It's like all of sudden my life is second fiddle to yours."

"You're being silly."

"Am I? You blew off what I wanted for dinner. You want your car over mine. It seems like no matter what I do, it isn't as good as yours or what you want us to do. Am I suddenly inadequate?!"

"No. What's this all about?"

"I'm sorry I can't live up to what you make."

"I never said-"

"You didn't have to! Lately I've felt like whatever you want is what we do. I no longer matter."

"You're overreacting."

"Stop saying that! I'm sorry I don't make as much as you do. I work hard! I'm a good partner. I don't think it's fair that I should be made to feel inadequate!"

Cooper threw his hands in the air as if exasperated and confused. Our conversation got louder.

"We've never once stayed at my place when you have Corey with you on the weekends. Are you embarrassed by my place?!"

"No. All his stuff is here in his room."

"I have an extra room. He could bring things for one night."

"What-"

"It's like you think you're better than me in everything!"

"I never said-"

"Well, you're not. I may not make as much as you, but that doesn't make me less of a person. Jesus Christ, Cooper! I love you, but I don't want to feel like I'm inferior."

"I don't-"

"Sometimes I really question what you think of me."

"Settle down!"

I was worked up. I hated yelling at him, but it just came out.

"Maybe it's better if I don't stay tonight. We don't seem to be in the right frame of mind," I said in anger.

"You don't!"

"Yes. Right. It's all my fault. I'm the second-rate one. I can't compare to your level of perfectness. I'm sorry that I'm sooooo unworthy. I don't think I'm that bad. I've given everything for you! It's not fair for me to have to go through all this. Inferior! If we're talking inferior, you have the smallest dick of any man I've ever slept with!"

Cooper stood taller. His face lost all expression. The room was deathly quiet.

I froze.

"I didn't mean to say that," I gasped. "I ... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said ..."

My soul died. Completely.

"I – I – I should go."

I had failed to breathe in any air in the last thirty seconds. I went to the front door and shut it behind me.

My eyes clouded over as I stumbled to my truck. I slammed the door shut.

"What have I done?" I whimpered. "Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit."

I started the truck. I backed out of his driveway. A block away, I pulled over.

"What have I done!!!?" I sobbed.

 

—

 

The bartender handed me my third drink.

"If you don't mind me saying so, you don't look like you're in a partying mood," he said to me.

"I'm not. I made the biggest mistake of my life tonight."

"Uh oh. Can it be all that bad?"

"I said the most hateful thing to the love of my life."

"Tell me about it. I'm Carter, by the way."

"Larry. I knew I would ruin it one day. We were amazing. Amazing. Fucking amazing together. I just knew I would find a way to fuck it all up one day."

"I'm sure he can forgive you."

"Ohhh, Carter. I was so hateful. He didn't deserve what I said."

Tears started escaping my eyelids. I grabbed a bar napkin and wiped them dry. Why did I fuck it all up? Why would I say something so hateful? Oh my God! I loved Cooper so much. Why would I do such a thing? FUCK! Fuck.

"Fuck!!"

"Hey. This is just one night. It will be better tomorrow," Carter said.

"I'm not sure if there will be a tomorrow for us. It's something I can never take back. It will always be something I said."

"If so, there's plenty of men out there."

"There's only one Cooper."

There's only one Cooper. I had the greatest man in the world, and I blew it. Why did I always ruin everything!? I blotted my eyes again. My soul was gone forever. Life had left me. I could barely think straight. Cooper could never forgive me. I could never forgive myself. Fuck. Fuck! There's only one Cooper, and I drove him away.

 

Cooper

"Guh!" I sat up at the sound of my phone.

I looked at the clock. 12:24. I had only been asleep for thirty minutes.

It was Laramie.

"Hello."

"Is this Cooper?"

It wasn't Laramie's voice. Who was this? How did they have Laramie's phone? My heart started to race.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"My name is Carter. I'm a bartender at The Black Stallion."

My mind wasn't awake enough to make sense of anything.

"What? What's going on?"

"I'm sorry to call you late, but ... do you know a Larry?"

"Yes. Is he okay? What's happened?"

"I've taken his keys. He's not okay to drive. I offered to call him a cab. He's refused."

"Has he caused problems?"

"No. But it's time for him to go, but if he won't take a cab, my only other option is the police. You were the person listed in his emergency contact. You and a ... Kenton Shuppe."

"He's a work contact. I ... um ... I'll be there in about twenty minutes. Is that fine?"

"I have him seated in a corner booth. For now."

I threw on some clothes. Jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt would be okay. I grabbed a light jacket.

What had Laramie done? What was going through his head? This was bad. I had so many emotions flooding me as I drove to the club. I pulled up at 12:50.

The first bartender I approached pointed out Carter. I walked over to him.

"Hi. I'm Cooper."

"Ooo, howdy. You are a gorgeous one. No wonder Larry felt he made a mistake."

"What did he do?"

"He just wallowed in some self-pity. He's over there." Carter pointed to the back booth. "I'm sorry. Mid-shift I worked the other end of the bar. I don't think my coworker knew I had served him four beers before he supplied a few more. We can't let him drive. Legal stuff, you know?"

"I'll take him. What does he owe you?"

"He was running a tab. I have his card."

"Write in a big tip for yourself," I said.

"I can't, but you can. If you can also sign your name to his tab for legal purposes..."

"Sure. Fine." I forged Laramie's name on the slip and signed my name confirming the tip on the tab.

"Here's his keys, and you can take the card."

"Thanks, Carter."

I walked over to Laramie in the corner.

"Let's get you home. Can you walk?"

"If you hold me." He stood, but not steadily. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Carter called me. I have your keys."

"I'm sorry, Sooper," he said. "I din't mean..."

He gave up forming sentences.

I helped him in my vehicle and buckled him in. He seemed fairly incoherent and dozed off on the drive to his house. I used his keys to get him inside.

Once in his bedroom, I pulled off his shoes. Laramie was all arms and no upper body control, but I managed to pull his shirt off. At that point, I let him collapse on the bed.

 

—

 

My cell phone alarm went off at 6:45. I knew both of us could really have used a lot more sleep.

I nudged Laramie. "Hey."

A heap of lifeless mass groaned. I nudged him again. He rolled over.

"Ow." His brain tried to focus. Eventually he determined he was home. I was standing above him fully dressed. He was in bed clothed except for a shirt. "What happened?"

"I came and got you at the bar. Let's go get your truck. I have to be at work at 9 and I'm going to need to go home and get ready."

He groaned again. "Lemme pee."

Laramie peed for a year and a half.

He came out and pulled his shirt back on. He pulled it from his chest to smell it. It reeked of alcohol. His face twisted in disgust.

"Did you spend the night?"

"I slept on the couch."

"Why didn't you sleep with me?"

"I thought it best to be on my own."

He sat down to put on his shoes.

I jangled his keys, and he came to the door. I locked it behind us.

I started the car. As we headed back to The Black Stallion to retrieve his car, we sat in quietness.

"How's your head?" I asked.

"Throbbing."

More quietness.

"Cooper, I just want to say-"

"We'll talk later. You'll be feeling better then."

When we got to the bar, I handed him his keys.

"I have to go to work. You can choose to do whatever you think is best."

"Cooper-"

"We'll talk tonight."

 

Laramie

Fuck.

We'll talk tonight. Those three words were the audible illustration of terror.

I started the car. My head was pounding. I wasn't sure if I could even go into work. I needed water. I needed my heart to stop pounding. I couldn't take Cooper ending things between us tonight. I didn't know how to fix it. I had ruined it beyond repair. My breathing became short. My grip was so tight on the steering wheel, I couldn't even let go to shift the truck out of park.

"FUUUUCCCKK!!!" I screamed at the windshield. Then my head pounded even more.

I was in bad shape.

I hoped a shower would help once I got home. As the warm water cascaded over me, it did help. It seemed to wash a layer of alcoholic grime from my skin. My breathing had regulated a little better, but I couldn't escape the dread of just waiting for Cooper to end things. I began to sob; tears mingled with the spray coming from the shower head. By the time they landed in suds at my feet, the tears and soapy water had merged in their path to the drain.

"Nooooo," I whimpered. I became consumed that my world was going to end tonight. I hated my actions, my decisions, my mistakes. I hated ... me.

I needed to call Emory.

I barely dried myself enough with a towel. I scrambled to find my phone. Cooper had plugged it into the charger for me.

"Well, hey there, man. What're you up to?" Emory answered.

"Nothing. I'm actually wet and naked."

"Oooo. This wasn't the phone call I was expecting."

"No. I've made a huge mistake, Emory. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do!"

Emory's tone completely changed.

"What's wrong? What happened? Where are you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. NO! No, I'm not okay. I'm hungover. I can barely think straight. Cooper and I had our first fight last night, and I said something I can never take back. I know he will want to break it off with me. I don't know what to do," I whimpered.

"What happened? What did you say?"

"I – I can't even say it. I can never take it back. It was so hateful."

Emory was silent.

I was silent.

"Do you want me to come over?" he asked.

"I don't know. I'd just be a babbling mess. Emory, I can't lose him. I just can't."

"First, don't panic over what might happen. Cooper loves you, Larry. So much."

"He did."

"Having a day to calm down might help."

I gasped through tears. I was hoping Emory's words would be true.

"Hey, kiddo. I'm here if you need me. If ... if it doesn't go well, please know I'm here. You have friends. Both of you do. Neither one of you are alone."

"Thanks," I whimpered. Snot was running from my nose.

After we hung up, I blew my nose and then called the store. I told them I had a severe headache and would try to come in later.

Maybe by noon I would look better.

I ate nothing for breakfast.

I ate nothing for lunch.

By the time I arrived at my store, I didn't think my staff could tell I was hungover. Part of the effects were wearing off. I had drunk a lot of water. Flushing my system helped in that regard.

Maria welcomed me and said she was hoping I was feeling better. I nodded to her.

I noticed a text.

"I'll come by your place around 6:30. Let me know if that doesn't work."

I now had six hours to completely freak out.

 

Cooper

This wasn't going to go well.

I hated myself for having to say the things that needed to be said.

Damn.

I started the car and began my drive to his place.

Tonight was going to be tough. I didn't know if I could get through it. My mind was a maelstrom of anxiety and doubt and worry. I found myself muttering aloud, audibly carrying out potential conversations the two of us might have. I wanted it to be calm. Last night was horrible.

I was too early. I said 6:30. I stayed a block away and pulled over for a few minutes.

6:22. My heart was pounding.

6:23. My hands were sweaty. I wiped them on my pants.

6:24. The conversations were back.

6:25. My heart was beating too fast. I took deep breaths. I wasn't sure if they were helping, but I felt I needed to do something.

6:26. I said a prayer to God asking for the evening to be okay. I told him I was scared. I asked him to watch over me.

6:27. I exhaled. I took one more deep breath. I exhaled. I started the car again.

6:28. I pulled in the driveway.

6:29. I sat there for a moment. I took one last breath. I turned off the car.

6:30. I rapped on the door.

The door opened. "You know you don't have to knock," Laramie said. He opened it wider to welcome me in. We didn't kiss. He shut the door behind me.

We walked to the living room.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"Better than this morning. At least my head."

He looked as anxious as me. Was he going to lay into me again? Was he going to apologize? Was he expecting me to? My heart was beating faster. I needed to get this over with.

"Cooper, I'm so-"

"Stop," I interrupted. "Please. Just let me go first."

"Okay," he breathed.

"Laramie ... last night ..." Oh lord, I hated this. "You were talking to me — and kind of yelling — but you were telling me how you felt. And I said you were overreacting. I wasn't listening to you telling me what your feelings were. That was my mistake, and I'm sorry. I want you to know that."

 

Laramie

Huh?

He's apologizing?!

"I don't understand."

"You were trying to tell me how you felt, and I didn't validate that. I pushed it to the side, and I'm sorry. I didn't listen."

"But ... I said such hateful things."

"You were right. I had expected you to come to my place. I did want to take my SUV. I only cared about me in the moment. Please know that I didn't look down on you or your things. That never crossed my mind. I was just being selfish."

I was in disbelief. I was expecting all sorts of anger from him.

"I've thought really hard the last 24 hours," he continued.

Fuck.

"This isn't working for me. And I'm terrified to say this ..." he gasped for breath. He was thinking about the right words to end it between us. No. No no no no no.

"No."

"This isn't fair, and I'm so sorry, but I think going forward I need to say this."

"Cooper." He was going to break up. We were splitting up. Our relationship was ending. My hands were trembling. My life was over.

"This isn't fair for me to ask, but ... I don't like seeing you just two nights a week. I – I – I come home every night and want you to be there, so I ask you to come over when I can't stand that you're not there. I'm sorry that I'm so selfish, but ... I need you. I want to come home to you every day. Every day."

"Wha- ?"

"I want you to live with me. At my house. And I know you have your own house. And I know that's not fair. And I hate myself for being so ... in love with you that I can't allow you the space you probably want. And it's not fair for me to think you will just give up your house." He teared up. "I'm so sorry. But I love you. I need you. I want you in my house forever. Twice a week isn't working for me." The first tear ran down his cheek. A second followed.

I was in disbelief. How was this possible?

"I don't know what to say. I thought you were going to end things between us. I said such hurtful things to you."

"What? The dick thing?"

"It was so hateful, and I can never take it back. Never. As much as I want to go back in time and make me stop, ... I can never forgive myself. I'm sorry I was so awful last night. I would never intend to say something so mean."

"But it's true, isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"For you to lash out like that, I knew I had done you wrong. I'm sure my dick is probably the smallest you've had."

"It was an asshole thing to say," I whimpered. "I'm so sorry."

"Come here." He opened his arms.

I moved into them, and they wrapped around me. "I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry."

He rocked us back and forth. I felt his lips kiss the top of my head.

My God, he was the greatest, most wonderful man in the world. How could he possibly have forgiven me?

"Can you forgive me?" I asked.

"If you don't hold my faults against me either."

I coughed aloud that was part gasp, part chuckle, part grin. "I love you."

Our eyes were locked. His pierced into my very soul, bringing it back to life.

"Yes." I lunged for a kiss. "Yes. Yes!" I kissed him again. "I'd love to live with you."

He smiled. "Really? It's so much of me to ask. And it's not that I think my house is better, but-"

"It's totally fucking better. It's new! It's bigger! It's prettier. Corey has his own room."

"But this house is ... yours. It's ... you."

"Fuck that. It's a house. I have no memories here. The only truly lasting memories are the times you stayed over. Even the months that Micah was here from time to time don't mean anything."

"Okay. Let's slow down." Cooper put his hands on my shoulders. I looked at him. "I'm not asking you to just give up your equity and not have anything for yourself. If you sell your house and match the deposit of what I put down, then ... we'll change the deed to both our names. We'll be co-owners."

"Like a married couple. Without the marriage."

"Right. But ... forever. I want us to be together forever."

I didn't realize I had been crying until I felt a tear hit my wrist. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. I thought I dragged a little snot on it as well. I reached over to grab a tissue to help my appearance. I blew my nose.

We caught our breath.

Cooper looked down. "I want to ask you something. I'll only ask this once ... but I need to know."

"Okay." I was a bit concerned.

"Mitch cheated on me because Derek could offer him something I couldn't. If my dick is a problem, I need to know now."

"NO! Absolutely not. Oh, God. I am SO sorry I ever said that. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it! I will hate myself every day of my life for ever saying those words to you. I love your hard dick inside me. I love sucking it. It's ... it's a part of you, and I love it because I love everything about you. Please don't ever think I feel anything less for you. I love you so much. Always. Forever!"

"Okay then." He smiled.

We kissed. For a long time. I turned out the light. We kissed. For a long time. My body pushed on top of his. We kissed. For a long time.

His hands were in my hair. My hands were gently holding the back of his neck, holding him close to my lips. His touch moved to grace my trimmed beard.

We weren't breaking up.

We weren't breaking up.

We didn't break up.

"Shall we get some dinner?" Cooper asked with a smile.

"Right now, the only thing I want in my mouth is your body. Go take your clothes off."

He smashed one more kiss into my lips and ran to the bedroom.

It took less than forty seconds for there to be a scattered mess of clothes on the bedroom floor.

He stretched out on my bed, and I maneuvered above his body. My mouth kissed his neck. My mouth moistened the top of his chest. It licked the start of his chest hair. It bit the hair surrounding his nipple. I suckled his nipple. I moved further down and kissed his navel. I breathed in his bush. His wonderful erection was waiting for me.

It was mine. I consumed it.

"Laramie," he whispered.

 

Cooper

We were okay.

We were okay.

It went well. We were okay. He was going to live with me. The man I loved more than anything in the world was going to live with me.

This incredible man who was sucking my dick would be able to do that any night we wanted. I wasn't sure what was pleasuring me more, his mouth or his yes.

"I need that in me. I want that in me," he said, his face rising from my hard-on.

He reached for his lube. In his zealous enthusiasm, he squeezed too much. He dripped it all over my shaft. He tried to get some to the pucker of his ass. I enjoyed watching his acrobatics move around my legs. He straddled his body right above me. I held my erection upright. He lowered. I felt it touch the head. I penetrated him. He descended on me to where I was fully inside.

We both moaned.

As he gyrated his hips on my pole, we both groaned.

He began riding me like a horse. We both grunted.

"Ride it, Laramie. Ride my body."

He grabbed his thighs and kept moving his hole up and down my iron rod. His head tilted back with his eyes aimed at the ceiling. He shut them and moaned.

"Coop. I'm so glad you are inside me." He moaned louder. "I love you so much," he then said, looking down at my face.

"I love you too," I returned and lunged my hips upward. "Oh fuck. I love it, baby. I love fucking you."

Laramie grinned at my cuss words.

"Fuck me. Cooper, fuck me, fuck me."

Laramie grabbed his own erection. His hand had just enough residue of remaining lube that it made it glisten. I pushed up into him over and over.

If anything, I wished my cowboy would have been wearing a hat at the moment. My naked cowboy riding me like a bronco. I held his hips, enjoying each movement he made around my hard flesh. It felt magnificent.

He groaned louder as his ass moved up and down on my body. I grunted along with his audible pleasure.

His grip stroked his cock. He panted as he gratified his own manhood.

"Work that cock, stud," I said. "Yeah. Yeah! Ride me. Ride my dick!"

He groaned louder. I all but wailed.

"Ohhh. Ungh. Ungh! Laramie. It feels so good. So good, baby!"

"Me too. Coop! Your cock fills me. It feels so good."

I leaned my body up to kiss him. His arms wrapped around me. We kissed for a long moment, and then he pushed me to lie down again. We were more one connected body than two perpendicular individuals. Writhing. Grinding. Thrusting. Pulsing.

I began to jackhammer Laramie's ass. My lover howled.

"Yes! Oh, fuck yes!" he screamed. His cry electrified my senses.

"Laramie. Babe! Honey!!!"

My hips bucked and almost threw my rider. My hard shaft seeded his hole with shot after shot of my love for him. "Ungh. Ungh. Ungh. Ungh. Ungh." And my body rested.

He treated his own erection mercilessly. He was assaulting it.

He continued to wail as his orgasm got closer.

"Baby, come in my mouth. Come up here!" I insisted.

He moved off of my penis and jostled close to my face.

"Coop!"

He moved the head into my mouth. I grabbed his ass cheeks and pushed him in further. My lips sealed around his member, and I could slightly detect the lube on his flesh. His scream announced his climax.

The first shot of cum hit the top of my mouth. The next went down my throat. The third coated my tongue. The fourth was strong again hitting my throat. The fifth was on my tongue. His final spurts dripped to the tip of my tongue as he fucked my face in and out.

He leaned back on stiff arms. "Fuck! Yeah!"

"Well, I've had an appetizer. Should we have dinner?" I asked, making him howl in laughter.

He moved his body alongside mine.

"If we called for pizza delivery, we could lie naked a while longer."

"Sold."

 

Laramie

I had tipped the driver handsomely. I was in such a good mood. I answered the door in only a robe. He smiled as I thanked him and said, "Good night."

We were finished with pizza at 8:20. I lit a candle in the living room, and we reclined on the couch together. I was behind Cooper, and his body moved into me. Neither robe was tied, and our genitals were bare in the openness of our draped garments.

Cooper's head was positioned next to mine. My arm held him tight into me.

I loved him.

We were making plans to move in together.

I loved him.

He loved me. I hadn't ruined it.

"Hey! I just realized," I said. "You're supposed to have Corey this weekend."

"I know. I asked Natalie if she could keep him tonight. I knew we needed to ... work through this. Had it gone horribly wrong, I knew I would need the rest of the night to recover."

"It went wonderfully right," I whispered into his ear. "I love you so much. I promise to love you forever."

"Me too." Cooper was reflective for a moment. "I'll pick Corey up in the morning. Would you like to be with me when ... I tell him the news. You know, tell him together?"

"I'd love that. You know I love him. He's your son, but ... is it okay to kind of think he's mine too?"

"You'll be a great father."

"I'm hardly father material, but I promise I will take care of him and protect him and love him."

"He's getting more teenager-y by the day."

"His hormones are making him crazy. We all went through it."

"I know."

9:26. I had Cooper out of his robe. Mine hung on my body strictly by the arms and nothing else. My dick was pressed up against his crack. His dick was a lead pipe in my hand. And we just lay there, still, pressed together. In love. Together.

It was too early in the year to light a fire, but I wished one was burning before us at that moment. It would have made our motionlessness perfect.

I kissed the back of his head. His blond, gorgeous, wonderful head.

Quietness. Togetherness. Warmth. Commitment.

9:57. Cooper rolled toward me. The light in the room was rather low, but I could clearly see his face. I still had my hand on his cock. It was still rock hard.

"Hon'?"

"Yeah?"

"Fuck me?"

I leaned up. "You sure?"

"100 percent."

"We just had sex two hours ago."

"I want you. I crave you."

10:23. Cooper's hands were gripped on the rails within my headboard. His face was buried in a pillow. He whined in pleasure. I had pounded his ass for a considerable amount of time. Had I not come earlier in the evening, I would have exploded by now. But my cock was churning away inside him. Grinding and writhing.

"Larameeeeeeeeeeee," he wailed.

I pushed. I shoved. I thrusted. I rammed.

"Ohhhhhhh, babeeeeeee," he moaned.

"Coooooper," I cooed into his ear.

My chest was melded to his back. My arms were under his chest, locked as if to squeeze the life out of him. My hips continued their crusade of plowing his hole.

"Oh, yes! Fuck me. Fuck me as hard as you can!" Cooper screamed.

I was getting close. My instructions to attack him like a battering ram was going to finally bring me off.

"Oh yeah! I'm coming," Cooper screamed back at me.

"You are? I – I – I am too. Gaaaahhh! Ungh! Ungh! Ungh! Ahhh. Ahhh. Ahh. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

We both panted. My mouth was at his ear. I could hear him because our faces were so close to each other.

"Please never take your dick out," he whispered.

I chuckled. "I'll try."

"I love you," he said. "I'm not sure if I've told you that."

"I don't recall. Probably not."

We both chuckled.

"You are my world, Cooper Snow. Always know that," I softly said into his neck.

My weight was fully on him. I was crushing him, and he loved it. My dick had retreated enough. I removed my body from his. I rolled to his side.

He loved me.

I loved him.

I hadn't ruined it.

We were together.

Forever.

10:43. We were cleaned up. Our teeth were sparkling. We had peed.

I turned out the light and gave him a final kiss. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms. Naked. For the rest of my life. His glorious embrace. Forever.

"What time do we have to pick up Corey?" I asked in the darkness.

"Between 9 and 10."

"Okay. Remind me to call Emory."

"Why?" Cooper asked.

"He's worried."

"About what?"

"Me. You. I told him I was a jerk. I know he's worried."

"He cares for us," Cooper said.

"He does. And we care for him."

"Yes, we do."

I grew silent for a moment. We had good friends. They were family too. "How's your butt?"

"A hornet's nest."

"Oh, babe. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. Just feel good that you are the only person on this planet that gets to do this to me."

As illogical as that sounded, it did make me feel better.

10:58. I heard Cooper wheeze in the night's last moments before I drifted off.

 

Corey Snow (15)
Laramie Jenkins (34)

 

Corey

"Dad's here," I called out to Mom.

Daryl and Mom got up, and we all went to the door.

"Laramie's with him," I announced.

I thought I heard Mom softly say, "Oh, good." But I wasn't sure.

When the two of them saw all three of us open the door, they smiled.

"Mom said you needed some time to deal with something last night. Is everything okay, Dad?"

"Everything is marvelous, son. Thanks for asking. Are you ready?"

"Yeah." I had my small bag placed near the door.

I couldn't hear the soft conversation between my parents, but I saw them hug. I guess that was a good sign. I felt confident at this point that no one had died. Still, I had no idea what was going on.

After we said our goodbyes, we drove over to Dad's place. None of us really said anything, which I felt was odd. I could see my father hold one of Laramie's fingers. I had noticed the two of them doing that before. It seemed kind of weird, but it was an affectionate thing between them, as far as I could tell. Their little quirks amused me for some reason.

"Are you okay with BLTs for lunch?" Dad finally asked over his shoulder.

"Sounds good," I replied.

Something still seemed up, but I couldn't put my finger on it. If they didn't tell me by lunchtime, I'd ask.

Mom had made me do my homework last night. I usually didn't receive a ton over the weekend. I asked Dad if I could knock out the chapter I was supposed to read before lunch. He said there would be time to do so.

The reading took about 30 minutes. The smell of bacon sizzling had made its way upstairs to my room. I lay there just taking in the aroma as I stared at the ceiling. As much as I liked cooking, Dad had a certain skill I didn't when it came to bacon. He somehow made sure it was perfectly crispy. If I had to pinpoint his superpower, it would be bacon.

I heard footsteps on the stairs.

Laramie entered my room. "Lunch will be ready in about five minutes."

"K."

He laid next to me. "How's school?"

"Fine." I paused. "Is everything okay with Dad?"

"It is. We'll talk over lunch."

"That sounds scary."

"Hopefully not." He patted my stomach. "Wash up."

 

Laramie

Cooper looked at me. Then he looked at Corey, who had been watching the two of us.

"What's going on?" Corey asked the two of us.

"How would you feel if we all slept at Laramie's place tonight?" Cooper said.

"Okay. Why?"

"Your father thought it might be nice if we spent a night there as a family," I said.

"I don't get it."

"We won't have the chance for much longer."

"I don't get it."

"Cor', we'd like to share some news." Cooper looked at me and smiled. "The thing is, Laramie is moving into our house soon. He will be putting his house up for sale ... and we won't be able to spend much time there."

"You guys are moving in together?"

"We are," both of us answered.

"Are you fine with that?" Cooper asked.

Holy fuck. What if he wasn't? Cooper would do anything for Corey. If his son wasn't cool with it, the deal would be off.

"Sure."

I chuckled.

"It's a big step for us, son," Cooper continued. "The two of us want to spend our lives together."

"Are you getting married?"

"No!" we both answered.

It pleased me for some reason to know that Corey would be fine with that.

"But ... we're committed to each other," I said. "Your father asked me to move in, and I knew it was something I wanted too."

"Cool."

"The outpouring of emotion warms my heart," Cooper said in sarcasm.

"What do you want me to say?"

Cooper sighed. "Well, if you're okay with it, then ... okay."

Corey rolled his eyes. He got up to hug the two of us. "Fine. I love you both. I'm glad you make each other happy. It's nice to know you two love each other and will be living together. Is that mushy enough?"

I lunged for him, tackling him to the floor. "Just enough," I said, smothering his cheek with kisses.

"Stop!" he pleaded between laughs. Cooper smiled at us from above.

 

Friendsgiving 2023

Laramie
Cooper

 

Laramie

"We have news," I told Trent and Mike.

"Oh? Do tell," Mike said.

"Can we wait for Lance and Jakob?" my partner asked me.

"Okaaaaayyyy."

Luckily my wait wasn't long. Jakob had stopped fiddling with things in the kitchen and came outside. His husband joined him.

The sun felt nice. For fall, the temperatures were tolerable in just a sweater. Thankfully there was no wind to add to the chill.

Mike had a beer. No one else did. I knew that would be a change for me. I always had alcohol at the house. While I had made a commitment to never drink around Cooper, our future together meant I would probably be giving it up for the most part. I never really analyzed it that far. While I certainly liked a beer now and then, the comparison to mere beverages and the love of my life was no comparison at all.

"Since we are all together before the rest of the guests arrive, we want to share something with you," Cooper said.

All eyes were on us.

"I'm selling my house," I said. "I'm moving in with Cooper."

Everyone cheered. Except Jakob. He gave a simple smile. I thought the reaction was slightly odd.

"That's great!" Lance said, giving Cooper a bear hug. I was next. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"Thanks," I said. "The small obstacles pale compared to the idea of sharing every day with each other."

"Amen," Mike said. "Just realize that each of you will need your space every now and then. I try to give Trent some time on his own — creative time."

"I can always go up to the shop if I need that."

"It's not like you don't know Corey, but will having a young man around the house be a big change for you?" Trent asked me.

"It's only every other weekend mostly," Cooper said.

"If he was there every day, I'd be as thrilled as Cooper," I said. "Corey and I get along great. I love that kid."

"Laramie will be a great father," Cooper said.

"No. You're the father. I'm the partner."

Cooper hugged me tightly. "I can't wait."

I couldn't either. Cooper was a tad concerned that Corey was slightly more withdrawn lately. I kept reminding him that his son was fifteen. At least he wasn't smoking, cussing and belligerent.

I still wanted the two of them to have their own time. If they could have some quality time on their own, that might help the upcoming driving lessons. Corey was extremely excited to receive his learner's permit in a few months. Cooper, not so much. He and I had discussed how this terrified him. My partner was petrified about the entire notion. Ophelia, one of his AA friends, was helping him cope with the process, having gone through it previously.

I considered myself fortunate that Corey and I clicked as well as we did. The night he and Cooper stayed at my place, Corey just lit up when he saw the picture frame I had made that had the shell he gave me in Clearwater applied to it. He couldn't conceal his smile when he saw the picture of the two of us at the beach in the frame.

 

Cooper

It was fun sharing the news. Laramie and I had let Corey tell Natalie and Daryl. We had just told the coffee group on the previous Sunday. We had planned on announcing it to our friends at Mike and Trent's event. It was my fourth Friendsgiving, and I looked forward to them each year.

I thought of Tyler. It had been three years since he took his life. That event had struck Trent, even though he wasn't a part of our AA group. It tore Lance up too. We all seemed so much better now than we were three years ago. Natalie would barely talk to me back then. Lance and Jakob were just getting started.

I turned to Jakob. He was the only one that didn't seem excited about our news. I went up to him to give him a gentle hug.

"It's so good to see you," I said. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I think everything is set up in the kitchen."

"I mean you."

"Oh. Sure."

"You don't seem convincing."

"Work is just draining me. My volunteer work is piling up, but I like it. We're starting to develop a nice business community in Von."

"Good. Good." I still couldn't decode Jakob's expression. "You have become very involved."

"Yeah. It's exciting. I guess. I'm not used to feeling pressure — and responsibility for more than just myself. I need a release. If I'm being honest, I was hoping that you two were announcing you were getting married."

I laughed. "Why? Why would that make a difference?"

"I don't know. I thought that I could be involved in the planning, and it would be something to really look forward to."

"I see. I hope the fact that Laramie and I are taking this big step is uplifting enough."

Jakob squeezed me hard. "Of course. I am happy for you two, absolutely. You're such a handsome couple — and so in love."

"Yeah. We had a doozy of a fight last month. But we seem to have come out of it stronger."

"We'll have our moment to remember Tyler tonight. Do you think he will do okay with it?"

"Meaning if it will stir up thoughts of Phillip's suicide? He seemed to handle it last year."

 

—

 

When that moment came three hours later, I held Laramie from behind. His hands clutched mine. I knew he was thinking about his brother. I felt that holding him was the emotional support he needed.

There were moments when everyone in attendance could sing along to something Trent was playing. I still enjoyed hearing Laramie sing.

"You have a beautiful voice," I told him when the song finished.

"I agree," said Jakob.

"Thanks, guys. I really enjoy being here. Last year, I was just your friend, Cooper. This year ... hell, we're moving in together."

"Indeed, we are."

"I've enjoyed getting to know you even better this last year," Jakob said.

"Same here!" Lance said, giving Laramie a huge bear hug. It caused my partner to laugh. "I'm so happy for you guys."

I watched Lance kiss Laramie on the lips. It caught my partner off-guard. But, startled as he was, he gave a smile.

Trent and Mike watched us from across the room. I looked at other friends at the gathering. I felt blessed. For a time of thanksgiving, I was considerably overwhelmed by the good fortune I had to be able to claim so many wonderful people as friends. Last year I was torn apart over the holidays. I was divided between Mitchell and Laramie. As much as I missed my friendship with Mitch, I was so happy that Laramie and I had found each other.

 

One Week Later

Corey Snow (15)
Laramie Jenkins (34)

 

Corey

We stopped over at Laramie's place after Dad picked me up. Dad and Laramie planned on boxing up a few more things.

"You've boxed up a lot since the last time I was here."

"I sure have." Laramie looked around the living room. The furniture was still there, but somehow things looked bare. "I have to be out of here by Christmas."

"The house sold quickly," Dad said.

"Surprisingly," Laramie said. "With parts of it looking so dated, I wasn't sure if it would require a few months."

"It looks fine to me," I said.

"Thanks, kiddo. The parts I worked on seem in good shape."

"With things so boxed up, will you still put up a tree?" I asked.

"Buddy, I haven't put up a tree since I moved here. I've always been by myself. I put a wreath on the front door, and I'm done."

"That doesn't count!" I told him.

"I'm only over here a couple days a week now. Your tree will be my tree."

"Speaking of which, I need you to bring over a nice sweater with you tonight," Dad said.

"Why?" Laramie asked.

"I want to take a picture of the three of us to put in my Christmas cards."

"You do?" Laramie and I both asked.

"I do. I'm in the mood to send them out this year. I want the two most important men in my life to be in it."

"Aw," Laramie said.

"Fine," I said, not really giving Dad's idea a lot of enthusiastic support. But I was okay with it.

Mom had a box of Christmas cards. I saw her pull it out. She and Daryl started signing them the night of Thanksgiving. She asked me to sign them too. I wasn't crazy about the idea, but it only took a few minutes. It was only one box of cards. She didn't say anything about a photo.

The Christmas tree went up the next day. I think the two of them were going to decorate the yard while I was with Dad.

 

Laramie

Cooper helped me break down the guest bed. I had no plans for a lot of my furniture. Cooper's house was already furnished, but some of my things were going to be included in the house. By mid-afternoon, the guest room was completely packed in boxes.

Once back at Cooper's house, Corey and I noticed he already had the tree up. He said he had put it up Thanksgiving Day, but it was still undecorated. The three of us worked on it before dinner.

Cooper called for pizza delivery. All three of us said it sounded like a good idea. Prior to the extra-large pepperoni arriving, we posed in front of the tree and took several shots. We looked at them on Dad's computer and agreed upon a specific one to be printed off. It dawned on me that I had never been in a Christmas photo. We didn't take one growing up, and heaven knows I didn't send cards out as an adult.

I was in a Christmas card photo. It seemed so unusual to me all night. In a good way. Everything about Cooper and Corey was in a good way. I hoped to shower them with Christmas gifts this year. I had never done that. Freddy and I had given each other one thing in college. Any other exchanges over the years had been minor.

"What shall we do tonight?" Cooper asked.

"Um. Is it possible to do a couple errands?" Corey asked.

"Errands?" I spoke. It seemed a bit curious from a teenager.

"Yeeeaaaah. It sounds weird, but can we go back to Mom's place and your place?"

"Why?" Cooper asked.

"Just because. Can we?"

Cooper and I were perplexed, but we agreed we could do it. Corey got on the phone with his mother.

Thirty minutes later, Corey was walking out of Natalie's house with a bag. He wouldn't show us what was in it. Soon we were pulling up to my house. Corey took the bag inside once I unlocked the door.

"What are you up to?" I asked. Corey giggled in response.

We followed him into the bedroom. I noticed him looking at the picture of the two of us on my dresser. I watched him touch the shell he had chosen for me that was now part of the frame. I had almost everything in the bedroom packed away other than the furniture. That item was still out. The moment could quite possibly be the final thing I packed up.

Corey pulled out a small tree out of the bag.

"You made that in fifth grade!" Cooper said.

I stared at it. After inspection, it looked like six coat hangers attached together with a strand of Christmas garland hot glued around it to form a tree of sorts. Small foil objects were used to give it color. I assumed it was handmade in school. It looked like a fifth grader did it, but it was a fine job, nonetheless.

"I decided when you are here, you need a tree, so I wanted to give you this so it's Christmas over here too."

Corey placed it next to the picture frame.

"It's perfect," I said, kissing him on the top of the head, which was getting harder to do each month.

We looked at it arm-in-arm. Finally, I pulled him in for a big squeeze. He seemed willing to accept my moment of merry mushiness. Since it was in response to his kind gesture, he could tolerate the affection.

`You're a genius," I whispered to him. I felt his arms squeeze me tighter.

I took a picture of it on my phone to remember the moment.

A little later, we pulled back into Cooper's driveway. Corey carried the bag in.

"I have something for you, too, Dad."

"You do?"

"Yep."

Corey reached into the bag to pull out an ornament. We both looked at it. It was a beautiful ornament with a beach motif. It said "Tampa."

"I don't remember you getting this. I never saw these," Cooper said.

"Mom helped me get it. She was able to get in touch with Yvonne. I thought about it a month ago."

"Wow," Cooper said.

"We had such a good time," Corey said.

"We sure did," I said. "It will be my favorite ornament for the rest of my life."

"It's not that great," he said.

Cooper hugged him. "What a wonderful surprise, son. You're pretty awesome."

Corey turned a little red, but I knew he was happy that his surprise was well received.

The tree was lit for the whole night. We played a game before going to bed. I found myself looking over at the tree now and then. The Tampa ornament was placed in a position of prominence. It made me smile each time I saw it. It made me think of the picture on my dresser, which made me smile. And there was now a tree next to it, which made me smile.

And I was in a Christmas card photo. I went to bed smiling. I pulled Cooper close to me. I reflected on all the blessings of fall; I had much to be thankful for.

 

 

* * * *

 

A new post is on the blog: "Big Decisions." timothylane414stories.blogspot.com

Thoughts? Emotions? How did the chapter strike you? Email: Timothylane414@gmail.com