Date: Mon, 30 Jun 2008 12:12:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: ilj4ever44@yahoo.com
Subject: Luke- part 1

Copyright and Disclaimer:
1. This is a fictional story with fictional
characters.
2. No one is to steal this story under any
circumstances.
3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so
if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it,
this isn't the story for you.


Hey everyone, well I decided to do another story.  While I was writing the
final chapter of my last story, `Phases,' I found that I got really
interested in Luke's story and what happened once he left Los Angeles and
moved to San Diego.  As I was thinking about his character I began to get
ideas for a new story and the potential it could have.  My simple
brainstorming turned out to unfold into a complete story that I wanted to
write about.  I wanted to explore how one starts a new life with no
friends, no family nearby and having just lost someone so close to them.
It's a story that I feel has great potential and can turn into something
really great and I hope you all enjoy it.  So here's my new story, it's
title is simple, `Luke.'  Luke will be the main character and we'll see how
he starts a new chapter in his life.  This story takes place right after
Nick's funeral from the story `Phases' where Luke leaves Los Angeles for
 good.  This is the first chapter titled, `Starting Over.'

`STARTING OVER'

3:05 AM.  Luke Grayson tossed and turned in his sleep.  Every night for the
past three weeks he's had the same dream.  It's a dream that was also a
reality.  He kept dreaming about the night his boyfriend died.  It was a
memory that was so vivid, it was a memory that would forever haunt him.  It
started out as a good day.  He was finishing up work for the day and was
going to head over to his boyfriend, Nick's place to help him pack.  The
two decided to move to San Diego together where Luke got a job as a writer
for a newspaper.  He was sitting at his desk thinking about the great
future him and Nick would have together when he received a phone call from
his ex-boyfriend, Wayne.  Wayne had a history of drug problems and relapsed
when he found out that Luke and Nick were together.  He was high on drugs
when he called Luke and told him that he was standing outside of Nick's
apartment building.  Luke can still remember every word that Wayne said on
 the phone.

"Wayne?  What do you want?" Luke asked not in the mood to talk.

"We could have had it all," Wayne replied. "I loved you so much."

"You tried to come between me and Nick.  I have nothing to say to you,"
Luke said and was about to hang up.

"You'll be sorry," Wayne said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Luke asked.

"I'm standing outside of Nick's apartment building right now," Wayne
replied.

"What?" Luke asked getting worried.  He knew from experience that when
Wayne was on drugs he got violent.  He knew that Nick was in danger.

"You know what it feels like to have the love of your life taken away from
you?" Wayne asked.

"Wayne, don't do anything.  Please," Luke said.

"Oh, now you play nice?" Wayne asked. "Save it.  It's too late for that
now.  You screwed me over.  You ruined my life.  I have to return the
favor."

"You listen to me you son of a bitch," Luke said. "You leave Nick alone!
Did you hear me?  You-" But before Luke could finish Wayne hung up. "Shit!"
Luke quickly called up Nick, but his phone just went to voice mail.  Luke
hurried and called up Nick's best friend, Kurt.  Kurt lived close to Nick
and knew that he would be able to get to Nick's place faster than him.
After he urged Kurt to run over to Nick's place he immediately ran out of
his office to try and make it to Nick's in time.
	Traffic seemed endless as Luke weaved in and out of the LA traffic
as he made his way to Nick's place.  He watched as each minute passed, a
minute that could mean life or death for Nick.  It took him twenty
painfully long minutes to get to Nick's apartment, by the time he got there
the front of the building was crowded with police cars and an ambulance.
He quickly parked his car and ran up to Nick's apartment.  When he got
there he saw Kurt and Nick's other best friend, Leo sitting together both
of them had tears in their eyes and a look of anguish on their face.

"Where is he?" Luke asked approaching them as he looked all over the
apartment for Nick.

"Luke," Kurt said trying to get his attention, but he ignored him and began
to walk around the apartment looking for him.  Police were everywhere.

"Nick!" Luke called out desperately.  He prayed he'd hear Nick's voice call
back, "It's okay, I'm all right babe!"  But no such response came.  He then
went into the bedroom and saw Nick lying on the floor, color was drained
from his face and paramedics were trying their best to revive him.  He
hoped that Nick would be fine, he kept his fingers crossed that the
paramedics would bring Nick back to him, but he then heard one of the
paramedics quietly say to the others. "He's cold."  Luke suddenly felt his
whole body go cold.  Everything began to fade to black and all he saw was
Nick lying on the floor.  The man he had such big dreams with, such hope
with was now taken away from him.  The love of his life was now dead.

	Luke suddenly bolted up in his bed, his whole body covered in
sweat.  He looked at the clock next to his bed and saw the time, 3:07 AM.
He let out a deep sigh and rubbed his hands over his face and wiped the
sweat away from his forehead.  He turned on the bedside lamp next to him
and looked around the hotel room he stayed at.  He's only been in San Diego
a couple weeks and still hasn't found an apartment to move into yet.  He
found himself dreading apartment hunting, it was an activity that he was
once so excited about because he would be searching for a place to live
with Nick, but since Nick died everything has seemed unimportant, he no
longer cared about a lot of things that used to mean so much to him.
	He knew that he wouldn't be able to get any more sleep for the
night and went to the bare desk next to the television and opened up his
laptop to check his e-mail.  He had an e-mail from Kurt and another one
from Leo, both of them unread.  Luke wanted to read them, he wanted to see
how Nick's best friends were doing since his death, but he couldn't.  It
was too hard for him to keep in touch with Nick's friends, even though he
cared for them deeply he had to shut himself off from them.  He had to find
a way to numb the pain he felt.  He closed his laptop and sat down on his
bed turning on the television.  `Love Story' was on.  Luke rolled his eyes,
it was just too appropriate of a movie for him to be watching. That was the
last thing he needed right now, a movie about lost love.  He turned off the
television and sat alone in the dark of the hotel room, the only light was
from the city lights outside of his window.  He never felt so alone in
 his life, no friends, no family near him, new city and worst of all, no
Nick.  He rested his head against the pillows and tried to go to sleep.
Tomorrow was his first day at his new job.  He was supposed to start a week
before, but due to everything that happened his new boss allowed him
another week to grieve, although Luke knew it would take more than another
week to get over what happened, it was going to be an ongoing struggle for
the rest of his life.  He was also originally supposed to be the new editor
of the newspaper, but he knew that right now was not the best time to take
on such responsibilities and luckily his old boss who owned the San Diego
paper more than willingly let Luke work as a columnist in the meantime
until he got back up on his feet.
	Luke slept on and off for the next few hours until it was 7 AM,
time for him to get up and start getting ready for work.  The newspaper
that Luke was starting at was called the San Diego Bulletin.  Being a
columnist was the perfect job for him right now, it essentially allowed him
to write about whatever he wanted.  It is one of the most coveted positions
in the newspaper world and he tried to be upbeat and happy about his
fortune and this new chapter of his life, but every time he did, he would
immediately be overcome with sadness.  This wasn't the way his new life was
supposed to be and he kept reminding himself of that every second of every
day.  He was alone and had to start his life over from scratch.
	After look got dressed for work he went to a nearby coffee shop and
got himself a big cup of coffee to go and walked the three blocks to work.
	Walking into the newspaper office, Luke couldn't help but enjoy the
familiarity he felt being at the San Diego Bulletin, people were hurrying
about, busy on their computers, busy fact checking and editing and
receiving tips on the phone.  It was just like his old job, only here he
knew no one.
	However, before Luke had a chance to ask a nearby worker where he
could find the editor, a middle-age woman, heavyset, hair tightly pulled
back from her face, wearing a maroon skirt and matching jacket came up to
him. "Are you Luke?" she asked taking off her glasses.

"Yes," Luke replied. "And you are?"

"I'm Farrah Hartly," she answered not even bothering to stop and shake
hands with him, "Follow me, I'll show you to your desk.  I've heard good
things about you, I hope I won't be disappointed."

"Don't worry," Luke replied walking quickly to catch up with her, "I'm good
at what I do."

"Well you were supposed to be our new editor, but now I have to work double
time until we find someone else," Farrah said quickly.  Luke began to
notice that she said everything with a sense of urgency, almost like she
was trying to say as much as she can in as little amount of time as
possible. "I hope your columns will be worth reading."

"They are, didn't you get some of my samples from my last job?" Luke asked.

"I just took Howard's word for it when he told me to let you do your
thing," Farrah said.  "If Howard says you're good then you must be doing
something right."

When the arrived to his desk Luke set down his laptop bag on the desk and
looked over his new work space.  It was a fresh start, he tried to keep
reminding himself.

"Obviously you don't have to come into the office everyday, but I like to
be very hands on with my people here so I urge you to come in at least
three times a week," Farrah said.

"I don't really like working away from the office so I'll probably be here
everyday," Luke replied.

"Great, well, welcome to the team," Farrah said as she began to walk away
to her office, "If you have any questions just find me or ask someone
else."

	Luke took a moment for himself, he felt exhausted from his brief
encounter with Farrah.  She had a personality that made coffee nervous.

"She's a lot to handle, huh?" the person at the desk next to him said with
a laugh.  Luke looked over at him and found himself looking at a friendly
face, warm brown eyes, he reminded Luke of Nick in many ways.

"She talks fast," Luke replied. "Although I should be used to that, I've
worked for a newspaper before."

"My name's Shane."  Luke shook his hand and introduced himself.  The two
slowly began to talk and after a few minutes Luke felt that Shane was
someone that he could eventually be good friends with, he didn't know what
it was, but there was a comfort about him.  Shane Wyatt wrote for the Arts
and Leisure section of the newspaper and often wrote reviews for plays and
would report about different events that went on in the San Diego area.

"Are you from San Diego?" Shane asked.

"No, I just moved here from Los Angeles," Luke replied.

"So you don't know many people then?" Shane asked.

"No one," Luke shrugged, "Whole new life here."

"Well if you're free tonight you can come out with me, my boyfriend and a
few other friends," Shane suggested, "We're just going to grab some dinner
at a nearby Mexican restaurant."

"I don't want to intrude," Luke said hesitant to go out when he would
rather be alone in his hotel room sulking and being depressed.

"You won't be," Shane said. "In fact, you have to.  You're in no position
to turn down making some friends."  Luke would soon find out that Shane was
a man who always got what he wanted.  After a little more persuading Luke
finally agreed and the two got back to work, but talked on and off for the
rest of the work day.
	After work, the two of them walked to the restaurant and waiting
for them outside was Shane's boyfriend, Rich Buckley and their two friends,
Ford Ohara and Benji Bennett.  Throughout dinner with them, Luke felt that
he met a group of people he could really connect with.  Each one was great
and fun and got Luke to smile, something that he hasn't done in a long
time.
	Rich Buckley, 28, Shane's boyfriend, is a working actor who is
heavily involved in gay theatre.  Him and Shane met when Shane was
reviewing one of the performances that Rich was starring in.  They got to
talking and it led to drinks, dinner, sex and eventually a relationship.
They've been together for three months.  Luke saw that Rich was the type of
guy who was always laid back, it seemed that nothing bothered him.  He was
definitely the type of guy that you want as a friend.
	Ford Ohara, 26, is Japanese-American and is often the most handsome
man in every room he walks into.  Ford can be described as the hopeless
romantic-type.  He believed that he would meet the perfect man and the two
would get married and adopt kids together.  He wants the type of life that
he was raised in, perfect suburbia.  Even though he had his share of let
downs in his dating life he keeps believing that things will work out in
the end, this upbeat attitude caused Shane and the rest of them to nickname
him Fantastic Ford, for he never let his set backs bring his attitude down.
He is truly a fantastic person.  Ford works as a food critic, a job that
often brings him to the best restaurants in town.
	If there was one word to describe Benji Bennett, 25, it was,
fabulous.  It was also the word he chose to use most often, everything was
`fabulous.'  Luke never heard that word said so much in his entire life.
To say the least, Benji is a fabulous gay man.  He is the type of gay man
that is either a gay man's hero or worst nightmare.  He lived a flamboyant
lifestyle and loved it.  Benji owned a small boutique and sold clothes that
were on the `edge of fashion' as he liked to describe it.  When it came to
his love life he is one who believes in lovers not love.  He isn't the type
of man who wants to be tied down to one person.  Especially since he was
hurt in the past by a boyfriend who cheated on him.  Now he's very guarded.
	As Luke was sitting and getting to know them he wondered how they
could all be friends for they seemed so different from one another, but
also seemed to click in a strange way.  He'd never known a group of people
like them.

"So what do you think of San Diego?" Benji asked taking a gulp of his
margarita, "Isn't it fabulous?"

"It's nice," Luke replied, "It's different."

"You'll love it here," Ford assured him, "I'll take you to some great
restaurants around here.  You'll be calling this place home in no time."

"Thanks I'd like that," Luke smiled.  He tried his best to be upbeat and
friendly, but everyone at the table noticed a sadness behind him.  However,
neither one of then wanted to ask him, they felt that it would come out as
time went on.

"So I have a date on Friday," Ford declared with excitement.

"Who with?" Shane asked.

"His name is Forrest," Ford replied.

"Forrest and Ford?" Benji asked trying to contain his laugh, "I don't think
so."  All the guys at the table laughed, even Luke let out a small chuckle.

"Shut up," Ford shot back, "He seems like a nice guy.  He's the brother of
my friend Aaron's girlfriend."

"It's a set-up?" Rich asked.  "What does Forrest do for a living?"

"He's currently on a sabbatical," Ford answered proudly.  He felt that
taking a sabbatical seemed so unique.

"AKA he's unemployed," Shane quipped.  Benji let out a big laugh.

"Fabulous response!" Benji enthused.

"He's not unemployed," Ford countered, "From what I hear he has plenty of
money.  He's just taking a break."

"Which means he either got fired or can't find a job," Benji said. "Honey,
do yourself a favor and just nip this one in the butt.  He sounds like a
dud."

"Oh shut up," Ford said taking a sip of his drink. "I'll prove you all
wrong when he turns out to be an amazing guy.  Maybe he'll be the one."

"And then you'll be inviting us to the wedding of Ford and Forrest?" Rich
asked. "I'll hope for the best, but it sounds like a long shot."

"What do you think Luke?" Ford asked.  "I need a different perspective on
this.  A fresh pair of eyes."

Everyone turned to look at Luke.  He found his face getting red with all
the attention suddenly on him. "Um, I'm not sure."

"Oh come on honey," Benji encouraged, "Just tell us what you think of this
situation."

"Can I be completely honest?" Luke asked.

"Please," Ford said. "I would love a fresh person's view on this."

"When someone says they're on sabbatical it means that they just got
fired," Luke said agreeing with Benji. "I think he'll end up being one of
those guys who will expect you to pay for him all the time."

"Honey, welcome to the club," Benji smiled putting his arm around Luke.  He
loved the response Luke gave. "I couldn't agree more with what you said."

"But he should go on the date," Rich said. "You never know what might
happen."

"Thank you Rich," Ford said gratefully. "Screw the rest of you guys."  All
of them laughed and enjoyed the rest of their dinner together.  Luke was
glad he went, for the first time in a while he actually had an enjoyable
night.
	However, that night when he went back to his hotel room he couldn't
avoid the reoccurring dream.  It was the same thing, he dreamt about the
night Nick died and woke up once again in a cold sweat, shaking.  Luke
looked at the clock, it was 2 AM, another sleepless night for him.  He got
up from his bed and took off his clothes and went to the bathroom.  He
looked at himself in the mirror, his whole body was covered in sweat.  He
turned the shower on cold and stepped inside and sat down on the shower
floor and let the cold water wash over him as he tried to calm his nerves.
He felt the cold water rush all over his bare skin and hoped that he could
somehow wash away the nightmares.  It was hopeless he felt.  He had a
horrible feeling that no matter what, he would always have the same dream.
It would haunt him forever.  After an hour of sitting in the cold shower he
got out when his skin began to prune and dried himself off.  He balled up
his wet
 pajamas and threw them in the corner of the room, he walked naked around
the hotel room.  He felt no point of putting clothes on, he would only have
the same dream and wake up in sweating again.  He went to his computer and
checked his e-mail.  He looked at the unread e-mails from Kurt and Leo.  He
was tempted to read them, but decided to leave them when he saw a new
e-mail from Shane.  He opened it up.

`Hey Luke,

	Just wanted to tell you that we all had a great time tonight.  The
guys loved you and want you to hang out with us again soon.  I'll see you
at work tomorrow.  Later friend.

-Shane'

Luke smiled, he felt a sense of relief knowing at least he was on his way
to making some friends in San Diego.  He liked each and every one of the
guys, they were all so different and unique.  They were people who he could
definitely learn a thing or two from.
	After he read the e-mail he opened up the column he was working on.
It was his first time writing since Nick's death and the only thing he
could find himself writing about was loss and love and pain.  He had
nothing else to write about.
	Luke was writing for a few of hours when he realized the time.  It
was now 6 AM.  One more hour and he had to start getting ready for work.
He found himself exhausted, but restless at the same time.
	The rest of the week went like this, he would get no sleep and have
to leave for work by 8 AM.  He had to stop this, but didn't know how.
Shane noticed how exhausted Luke was Friday at work.  They were both busy
at their desks writing when he looked over at Luke and saw how tired he
looked.

"Have you been sleeping?" Shane asked.

"Honestly, no," Luke replied.

"Stress from the new job?" Shane asked.

"I wish it was just that," Luke answered. "It's other things."

"What is it?" Shane asked curious. He then stood up and went over to Luke's
death, "Come on, let's take a break and get some coffee and talk."

Luke tried to protest, he didn't want to talk about it, but Shane insisted
and the two got up to go to the break room.  Shane poured them both a cup
of coffee and sat down to talk.  They were the only ones in the break room.

"So what's going on?" Shane asked.

"It's just been a rough month," Luke sighed.

"Because of moving down here?" Shane asked. "Did you leave some good
friends behind?"

"Not just that," Luke replied. He then took a deep breath before he let the
next statement out, it was hard for him to say, "I lost my boyfriend."

"Bad break-up?" Shane asked taking a sip of his coffee.

"No," Luke replied. He then took a deep breathe before he said it out loud,
"He was going to move down here with me, but he was...killed."  It was the
first time he heard himself say that, and as soon as he said it his eyes
began to fill with tears, but he tried his best to hide it.

"Oh my God," Shane sighed, he wasn't expecting that kind of response. "I'm
so sorry.  What happened?"

Luke didn't want to talk about it at first, but after a few minutes of
Shane consoling him he finally told the story of how Nick died.  After he
told the story Shane found himself stunned, it was such a horrible story
and he felt so badly for Luke, at that instant he wanted to just hold Luke
and comfort him, but knew it wasn't the best environment for that.

"Tonight how about you come out with Benji and me for some drinks," Shane
suggested.

"It's okay," Luke replied. "I think I just want to be alone tonight."

"No way," Shane protested, "I'm sure you've been alone for most nights
lately.  I don't want you being alone and having another restless night.
You're coming out with us."

"I'm just going to be a downer," Luke said.

"No you won't," Shane replied. "Besides, Benji will be there and if anyone
can cheer you up, it's Benji."

Luke couldn't help but let out a laugh.  Shane was probably right.  After
only meeting Benji once, Luke knew that he was definitely a guy who can get
people laughing.

Before the work day was through Luke turned in his first column for the
Sunday edition of the newspaper to Farrah.  As she read it she gave out a
silent sigh as she sat down at her desk.

"This is it?" Farrah asked with a hint of disdain in her voice.

"You don't like it?" Luke asked.

"It's a very depressing piece," Farrah replied. "All you talk about in this
whole thing is death and loss."

"It's a relatable subject I think," Luke defended. "Many people go through
stuff like this.  Look at the one guy who wrote a column devoted to his dog
that died, he went on to write a best-selling book."

"Yeah, but his piece dealt with the happy memories of his dog, all you are
writing about is depression and sorrow," Farrah said. "Is this the kind of
thing you want to read when you get up Sunday morning and sit down with a
hot cup of coffee to read?"

"Farrah, I'm going through something very personal right now and it's all I
have to write about at the moment," Luke said standing by his piece.

"Fine," Farrah resigned, "I'll run this column, but your next one better be
a lot different.  We invested a lot of money into you relocating down here
and I don't want to be let down."

Luke didn't say anything, he always was proud of the pieces he turned in
that he wrote.  It was all very personal to him and he never backed down
when someone didn't like it.  His latest column was a difficult one for him
to write and he was happy to have gotten through it.  It gave him some hope
that he'll be okay.

	That night while Luke went with Shane to get drinks with Benji,
Ford was on his date with Forrest. Ford made dinner reservations at El
Santorini's, one of the top restaurants in San Diego.  Ford was sitting at
the table waiting for Forrest, he was dressed in an Armani black shirt and
a dark wash pair of True Religion jeans with a pair of Prada loafers.  It
was an upscale restaurant and Ford blended into the atmosphere perfectly,
he belonged with the upper-class diners in the restaurant.  It was five
past 8 when Forrest walked into the restaurant.  Ford tried his best to
smile, but couldn't help feeling embarrassed when he saw the way Forrest
was dressed.  He was wearing a t-shirt with the words `Fuck Off' written on
the chest and a pair of dirty old jeans with holes in them and flip flops.
His attire caused all the other people in the restaurants to turn and
stare.  There was no dress-code enforced at El Santorini's, but everyone
knew that
 when you dined there, you dressed nice.  Forrest obviously didn't get the
memo.

"Hey Ford," Forrest said giving Ford a hug. "Sorry I'm late.  I got caught
up with this video game I was playing."

"Video game?" Ford asked.

"Yeah, I just got myself a Nintendo Wii," Forrest said. "Have you played
it?  It's awesome.  I was doing the boxing game and I'm probably a little
sweaty right now.  I was going to change but didn't have time."

"It's fine," Ford said trying to stay positive.

"I was also hoping you might be able to spot me tonight," Forrest said. "I
rushed out of the house so fast that I forgot my wallet."

Crap, Ford thought, the guys were right.  He realized that Forrest probably
did that purposely so he wouldn't have to pay for anything on their date.
Ford took a deep breath and reside himself to knowing that he would be
paying for the entire evening and was pretty certain that Forrest was going
to order the most expensive plate on the menu.

	After dinner Forrest invited Ford over to play video games, but
Ford politely declined saying that he had to get up early the next day and
they both went their separate ways.  He immediately took out his cell phone
and called Benji.

"What are you doing?" Ford asked when Benji picked up.

"I'm having drinks with Shane and Luke at C-Bar," Benji replied. "How's
your date?"

"It's over," Ford replied. "I'll be there in a bit and explain."

Ford then hung up and headed over to C-Bar to meet the guys.  When he got
there the guys had already finished a couple drinks and were ordering their
third.  Luke was having a great time, he actually felt that he might be
okay.  He was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"So why's the date over so soon?" Benji asked, but he had a feeling he
already knew.

"It was a disaster," Ford replied. "He wore a shirt that said `F- Off' on
it."

"F-off?" Shane asked laughed. "Would it kill you to say `fuck?'"

"You know I hate that word," Ford replied.  "He didn't even bother to wear
real shoes, he wore flip flops and his hair was greasy.  We were eating at
El Santorini's."

"You didn't at least sleep with him?" Benji asked.

"Do I look like the type of guy who would make love with a guy who had
greasy hair?" Ford asked. "You know me better than that."

"It's not `making love,' when it's a stranger, it's just good old fashion
fucking," Benji retorted.

"Don't say that word so loud," Ford said slapping Benji in the arm.

"Was it entirely bad?" Luke asked.

"I had to pay for everything," Ford said. "He said he forgot his wallet."

"Hate to say `I told you so,'" Benji quipped.

"Then don't," Ford said. "Just order me a drink."

"You got it.  I'll even pay for your drinks tonight," Benji said calling
over a waiter to their table.  The waiter they had earlier must have been
on a break because a new waiter came to their table, a very handsome waiter
to say the least.  "I'll be sleeping with him later," Benji said
devilishly.

"Hey how you guys doing?" the waiter asked, "Clyde went on a break so I'll
be taking care of you.  What can I get you guys?"

"Four dirty martini's and a time," Benji said.

"A time?" the waiter asked confused.

"Yeah, what time are you off work?" Benji asked. "I have a place close by
for us to go to."

	Luke was shocked by how forward Benji was, he'd never experienced
someone quite like him before and although it was shocking, he found it fun
and liberating at the same time.  He assumed the waiter would brush him off
due to how he approached him, but Luke found himself even more surprised
when the waiter smiled and leaned close to Benji's ear.

"I get off at one," the waiter whispered.

"Then it looks like we'll be getting off after that," Benji said with a
wink.

Ford gave a confused look for a moment before he furrowed his eyebrows
together and rolled his eyes at how forward Benji was being, "Eww."  Luke
let out a hearty laugh, it felt good to laugh again and be in an upbeat
environment.  Things were starting to look up.

"I should warn you," the waiter said quietly, "I have a boyfriend."

"I could really care less," Benji answered honestly and it was true.  Benji
didn't care if the man of the moment he chose to sleep with was in a
relationship, he didn't want them that way, all he wanted was fun and sex.

"Sounds like a plan then," the waiter said.  He then turned his attention
back to the other guys, "Well, if you need anything tonight my name's
Nick."  As soon as Luke heard the waiter's name he felt the wind get
knocked out of him.  He suddenly began to lose focus, everything became
blurry and he found that he couldn't breath.  Benji and Ford noticed this
and gave a look of concern.

"You okay honey?" Benji asked.

"I just need some air," Luke said rushing out of the bar.

"I'll be right back," Shane said getting up and going after Luke.  When he
found him outside Luke was holding onto his knees, trying to catch his
breath.  He went up and started rubbing Luke's back, "You okay?"

"I'll be fine," Luke sighed, as horrible as it was, he was beginning to get
used to the panic attacks.

"What happened?" Shane asked.

"It was the waiter's name," Luke replied.

"Oh shit," Shane said remembering that Luke's dead boyfriend was named
Nick. "I'm sorry."

"I'll be fine," Luke said again. "Go back inside with the guys.  I think
I'll just catch a cab home."

"Don't be ridiculous," Shane said. "I'm here for you."

"No really," Luke said. "You barely no me.  I don't want to ruin your
evening."

"You're not," Shane said as he gently continued to rub Luke's back. "We're
friends now.  I'm here for you."

Luke suddenly found himself crying, not because he was sad, but because he
was grateful that he had someone he could call a friend.  The two hugged
one another tightly.

"Don't worry," Shane comforted. "You're not alone anymore.  You have
friends now."

Luke didn't say anything, he just held onto Shane tightly.

	Later that night after Nick, the waiter, got off of work he met up
with Benji and they made their way to Benji's apartment, neither one of
them could keep their hands off each other the entire two blocks it took to
walk to the apartment.  When they finally walked inside they both began to
take each other's clothes off and kiss each other all over.  Benji moaned
as Nick the waiter's tongue began searching his defined torso and made it's
way down to his belly button.

"Oh yes," Benji sighed closing his eyes. "I love my life."  They then
collapsed on the bed together kissing passionately.

Over at Ford's place he was in bed and writing in a journal that he kept.
In it he wrote the same sentence he writes every time he has a bad date.
`You'll find true love one day.'  He said that statement out loud, he had
to believe those words.  It's all he had to go on.  Even though he's yet to
find it, he knew it was out there waiting for him.

	Meanwhile, Shane was spending the night at Rich's place and the two
were lying in bed together talking about their day.  After they talked
about their days at work Shane mentioned Luke.

"So I think Luke's a pretty great guy," Shane mentioned.

"Yeah," Rich replied, "I like him a lot.  He seems to be a bit depressed.
I don't know what it is, but there's sadness behind his eyes."

"He's been through a lot," Shane said. "He needs friends right now."

"Well he's got some now," Rich said sweetly, "Tell him to hang out with us
more often."

"I will," Shane said giving Rich a kiss. "He's had a rough month, so it
will take some time for him to open up I think."

"He will when he wants to," Rich said. "Let's just give him time."

"Yeah," Shane sighed hoping that his new friend would be okay.

	Late that night Luke was lying in his bed, he knew he would have
another sleepless night, except this time he knew that the next day would
be okay.  He had friends now.  It would take him a lot of time, but he felt
that for the first time since he moved to San Diego that he could in fact
start over.  That night turned out to be a better night than most, he got a
whole two hours of sleep.  Baby steps, but it was progress nonetheless.


To Be Continued...

   Again, I hope you all enjoyed it and I thank you for reading this first
chapter.  I would really enjoy to hear your thoughts on the story so please
contact me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com.  Thanks so much!  And if you are a new
reader and want to read the story that connects to this one then you can
find it here: /nifty/gay/adult-friends/phases/.  Thanks for reading and
hope you come back for chapter 2.