Date: Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:10:40 -0700 (PDT) From: Bob Archman Subject: Catfish does shakespeare 8 Catfish Does Shakespeare 8 by Bald Hairy Man This is a story about gay men and gay sex. If you don't like that DON'T read it. You have been warned. It is intended for adults to read, not for minors. It is a fantasy, not a sex manual. No effort to portray safe sex practices has been made. If you have any comments send them to bldhrymn@yahoo.com or bldhrymn@aol.com. The next day was the dress rehearsal and was busy. I called Dean and told him about Fenton. He had the major suspects, Tony and Eileen under surveillance. I had found out Fenton was J. Fenton Byrd IV. Curiously he wasn't a real Byrd, the Virginia Byrds. He was a New Jersey Byrd. Apparently they had all the pretensions of the Virginia Family without any of the achievements. He had been a theater student, but hadn't graduated and was working as a night guard at a local nursing home. Security was high for the dress rehearsal. You would have had to be crazy to try something, but there was a chance we were dealing with someone crazy. There are people who are out of control and are not responsible for their actions. Those persons are rare. There is a much better chance that our murderer was out of control when it suited him or her. The dress rehearsal and the opening night were the tests to determine if the criminal was insane, or calculating. This is the way Dean saw it too. Dean told me Rufus had been helpful and was off the hook as far as criminal liability was concerned. He said, "Rufus filled in a lot of gaps. Most of it wasn't criminal or incriminating, but it did establish an atmosphere and environment. It could easily have been a prank gone bad." "Someone took it too far?" "That's the way I see it. It is like those fantasy game boys like. For 99% of them it's just a game, but once and a while some one looses the boundary between fantasy and reality," Dean said. "The pranks were nasty, and the poison pen letters were illegal, but that all would had resulted in probation at worst for anyone who got caught." "There are worse things than criminal liability," I said. "If you were an academic, or a director who got caught, exposure would end your career. You'd never work in the field again. The nastiness of the thing makes me suspect jealousy. Someone is thinking, "If I can't be a success, you can't either." That could explain some of this mess, but again, it got out of control. Perhaps the mastermind is okay, but the spear carriers don't know the limits. Several people have mentioned actors who hated taking a bit role, and couldn't play the part without trying to over so it." "Like some one playing the wall in Midsummer's Night Dream?" I laughed. "I had three or four lines and that is the absolute upper limit of my acting ability and ambition. There is no Hamlet in my future." "Well you're good semi naked," Dean added. "Come to think about it, you're even better naked!" "Everyone's a critic," I said as I hung up. I went to the theater. Given the hours we had spent in rehearsals it was panicky and tense there. Rather oddly Skyler was a rock of calm. He was ready. He recruited and volunteer dresser to help me get into my costume. Henry's Dad, the guy who looked like a professional wrestler was to help me. Hank had been opposed to his son's acting career, but he loved his son and was protective. He had been a college level wrestler and had stayed in shape. He had retired as the president of a wrecking company. Skyler explained how the costume worked and what needed to be attached to make sure I didn't put on a real show for the audience. We had a few practice runs and Hank was a fast learner. In demolition it's important to get everything done in the right order. Hank understood that. He also had a good memory for faces and soon knew who was supposed to be in the dressing rooms. Skyler wouldn't scare anyone. Hank was a mountain of a man. The dress rehearsal went well. I thought it was perfect, but Charlie saw room for improvements. I was surprised when we had a full audience for the rehearsal. They laughed at all the right places, and were enthusiastic throughout. The all male cast wasn't like a drag show at all. Samuel was rather lovely in an imperious way as Titania. His scene with Freddy was spectacular. It was both affecting and rolling in the aisles funny. When I appeared as the wall, there was applause. Skyler's costume was a wonder. I got more applause in the curtain calls than I would have expected. The next day several actors were to come back for a few minor modifications to fix a glitch or two in the production, but the rest of us were off until five. Fred and I had to stay late for some publicity shots for the newspapers and a television station. When I got free, Hank was waiting to help me get out of the costume. Hank had seen me up close and personal and very naked several times as he dressed me. His wife had taken Henry and his family out to dinner after the rehearsal and Hank was alone with me. I am 100% positive Hank wasn't gay, but he was curious. "You aren't very shy, are you?" he asked. "What makes you think that?" I replied. Then I smiled. "I had an uncle who told me I was well equipped to be the most popular guy in a nudist camp." Hank laughed. "I guess if I was hung like you I'd show it off too." "It is an ice breaker," I said. "The problem is the rest of me. Not everyone is turned on by a guy who's hairy as a chimpanzee." "My wife use to make me shave," he said. "Damn that was itchy." "Is she use to you now?" "Too old to care," Hank said with a tinge of disappointment in his voice. I was naked by now, but didn't make a move to get dressed. He continued. "You're uncut too. She doesn't like that much too." "I've got some pals who like it." "You're gay?" he asked. "100 percent!" "I bet your dance card is filled every night," he said. I moved and his hand brushed against my cock. "I admit I'm curious," he mumbled. "I need to get home and have a sandwich. Would you like to join me?" I asked. He nodded and fifteen minutes later we were at my apartment. We had a beer and I made a couple of ham and cheese sandwiches and then we got down to business. I told him if we were going to do a show and tell, he had to get naked too. He was alright with that. He apologized for his cock. It was normal as far as I could tell. Hank's body wasn't. He worked out and you could tell. I guessed he didn't take steroids, so he didn't have that overinflated look. He was beautiful. His broad chest was covered in even white hair. He was a natural blond and was all pink. It's a turn on to see a man as masculine as Hank so delicately colored. He was a peaches and cream stud muffin. I reached over and touched his tits. He moaned, then he reached over and stroked my cock. "You tell me what you want to do," I said. "I'm an open minded guy." "I'm really turned on but uneasy," Hank confessed. "I'm not sure. Can I just look at it?" I went to a chair and sat. Hank got on the floor and looked as I played with it. He fondled my balls. "You must think I'm an ass for just looking," he said. "You won't be the first guy who just wanted to look," I said. "This may sound strange, but the media has everyone neatly divided in the straight and gay. I'm not sure anyone is that neatly divided. I know some straight guys who are really into cock. I know of a few gay guys who fell in love with a woman, and some straight men who fell for a man. Life ain't simple." "What if a guy falls for one particular cock?" Hank asked. As we talked, I got harder. That did nothing to reduce its appeal. Hank stood. I leaned over and sucked his semi erect cock. I could feel the tension draining from him. Three minutes later I had a mouthful of Hank's cum. He had been fully loaded and seemed extra creamy. "Do I have to do that with you?" he asked sheepishly. "Nah, its a downer after you've popped," I said. "Would you like to watch me jerk off?" "Shit yes!" he answered with unexpected enthusiasm. I put on a good show and he enjoyed it. My cock was coated in cum. Hank scooped some of it up with his fingers. He looked at the quivering jiz, then licked his fingers clean. His cock shot a final spurt as he licked up my sperm. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Thank you. It was good," he replied. Hank got dressed and returned to his family. I went to bed. The next day I was on the front page of the Flair section of the paper. I had never seen me in the stage lighting, but I was a bit more naked than I had thought, but a lot more magical. It looked as if the ivy was growing our of me, and the greenery merged with my body hair. I was listed as Will Noland and very few would have recognized me as Catfish. The article was flattering about the entire production. At ten I got a call from my mom. She had seen the picture. Mom was pleased I had taken up theater, but annoyed I hadn't told her about it. I was told in no uncertain terms to get ticket for her and my Aunts. An hour later Aunt Ellen called with the same message. She had a ladies club that wanted to see it. "Are you certain they might see a lot more of me than they want?" I asked. Ellen laughed. "Your Grand Daddy died before you were born, but he wasn't called Bear Lewis for nothing. He was a wonderful man, and I hadn't guessed you had inherited the gene," Ellen said. "When we were children we went swimming at the lake. I remember a friend snidely saying the might clog up the hydro plant down the river. I though he was manly. You seem to have gotten the Noland scrawniness, but the Lewis hairiness. That is 12 tickets I need. Remember that." I called the box office an they had tickets available. A got a full day of work done at the office and got to the theater at five. The City police were visible, as were several of my operatives and some undercover cops. Actors are a superstitious group and everyone was on edge. Opening night jitters combined with the bombing did not promote a calm atmosphere. The K-9 core was there sniffing for bombs. It was reassuring that they were sniffing, but most plays don't need a sweep for bombs before the opening. The stage door was guarded by Donnie, Skyler's most effeminate costume maker and Hank. Donnie knew everyone associated with the play, or with the theater in Richmond. They seemed to get along well. Donnie gave a brief bio of everyone who entered, complete with a list of lovers, husbands wives and casual acquaintances. He knew all of Tony's harem and could warn Hank of any trouble. Somehow Hank had met Dean and they were pals. Hank had a police radio if there was any problems. When the police were done and gave the theater a clean, bomb free bill of health, my bomb sniffing pooch, Killerpoo arrived. Killerpoo was the least likely bomb sniffer imaginable. He was a Coc-a-poo something mix. Officially he was a therapy dog, but he real love was finding bombs. He was at a stand on the sidewalk in front of the theater promoting the Richmond Therapy Dog Association. The stand was maned by staff members of the worthy institution and two of my men. Killerpoo would watch the door. I though it was unlikely anyone would try another bomb, but Dean disagreed. "It is amazing how attached to a particular M.O. guys can be," he said. He was right about that. He would also have been up Shit Creek if he hadn't prepared for the eventuality. The opening performance would have been anti-climatic if the audience had not been so into it. Our timing was thrown off by the applause and laugher. The concept was good and the carry though was near perfect. Nothing succeeds like success and some of the more sour members of the cast were converted to admiring Charley's directing skills. I did just fine. The curtain calls went on for a good ten minutes. Hank got me out of my costume and I had the feeling if we had been alone he might well have taken a lick. We all went to a post performance party at a nearby hotel. Our local critic, Milton Hammerly, was effusive in his praise, and actually apologized for his rudeness earlier. The icing on the cake was a guy who turned out to be a drama critic for the Washington Post. He was doing a story on up and coming regional theater companies. He loved it. When the article came out it was entirely about the Duke of Richmond's Company and was more than faltering. He loved the play, the costumes, and the actors. He named names. It was all an up and coming theater company could want. I knew that someone, somewhere in Richmond was not celebrating with the company. The play was a success, but there were two murders still unsolved. Maurice and Emma were dead and while we had some good leads, we weren't close to an arrest. We had Tony, Eileen and someone named Fenton at the top of our list. The weekend performances were packed, and they had to add additional shows during the week. There was an outside chance the play would make money. My mother and aunts and their friends were going to come on Thursday. Hank went home, but he said he might be back next weekend if I still needed dresser. I told him that would be great. Skyler could pinch hit during the week. I wasn't a star, but the costume was. It became the most memorable image of the performance except for Fred's ass head. On Tuesday, Milton Hammerly was found dead in his house, the victim of a botched robbery. Dean called me with this information. Dean found a message from Milton from Monday night saying he needed to talk. Dean was out of the office and didn't get the message until too late. This was definitely not good. Maybe Milton just happened to call the detective in charge of the case, then was killed by a random burglar, but that seemed to be way too coincidental. He had found out something. There was a beneficial side effect to the critic's death. We had exhausted the chain of clues at the theater. Milton's death re opened the case. There would be phone record and e-mails to trace. Milton met with many people in a day. Someone might have known something, or said something. Milton wasn't popular among the actors and crew, but all felt the death penalty was too much even for a bad critic. I told Dean that I would have placed Milton in the modern drama and relevant camp led by Tony until he wrote the glowing review after seeing Midsummer. He might have been a traitor to the cause, or he might have just put one and one together and realized he knew more than he thought. Rufus had figured that out. Milton could have come to the same realization. Officially Emma and Maurice's deaths were still regarded as accidents. Was it possible Milton didn't know what he was dealing with? Perhaps he thought he was dealing with prank letters and an amateur pipe bomb in the toilet bombing. My mother and aunt's visit caused a stir. Fred and the dwarfs said they would have a little reception for them after the play. It would be late for them but I had rooms for them at a nearby hotel. The Thursday night performance went very well and they enjoyed it. I was puzzled at the stir, but I discovered no one seemed to think I had a mother. The reception turned out to be festive and fun. Aunt Becky had been an English teacher and their friends understood the play and loved the performance. Skyler came as did many of the actors. John was a great hit as a TV anchor. He was the morning man, but that was the time they watched most often. All the actors were on their best behaviors and mom, my Aunts and their friend were being as bad as they could manage and all was well. There were photographs of the play and the actors on the walls. Several were of me and one was of me naked as I was taking off my costume. Miss Wilkerson ,Aunt Ellen's girlhood friend and noted spinster, saw it and remarked, "My lord Ellen, big things do come in small packages." She moved on to the next photo without batting an eye. They went to the hotel, happy and slightly tipsy. I had breakfast with them in the hotel's palm court the next morning. I had been classified as a problem child, although my Aunts and Mom never agreed with that description. They felt vindicated. It was a good and enjoyable experience for all of them. Hank appeared at three Friday afternoon. He had gotten wind of Milton's death and was worried. "My son hated that man's guts. He almost killed my daughter-in-law." "She was Ophelia?" Hank nodded. "She dated Henry before she met up with Tony. Henry thinks Tony likes trophy girl friends, a harem if possible. He was one of those get into the character and become the character. That meant becoming suicidal for Sue who was playing Ophelia. When Hammerly panned the play Tony turned on Sue. It was nip and tuck for a while there." "Henry stayed with her?" "He did. I told him she wasn't worth it. I was wrong about that. She has been a great mother," Hank said. "Infatuations can do strange things." He paused. "Was I out of line last week when I came over here?" "No. Why do you think that?" "You did all the work, I just watched." "Let me assure you that was not a problem." "I seem to think about it a lot," Hank said. "I met this other guy who turned me on too." "Dean?" "How in hell did you know that?" "Just a guess. I was guessing you're his type." "I figured he'd kill me if I made a move," Hank said. "I never guessed. You've . . ." "We've had a little fun together," I said. "I have a suspicion you and Dean would have a lot of fun." We talked for a while. Hank was semi-retired and his wife was sick, really sick. He was here because Henry was her only child and she was more worried about him, than about herself. Hank was here to calm her down. She was terrified for her son. Hank didn't say it, but I clearly understood his wife wasn't going to make it much longer. Hank needed a teacher and a guide into the world of man sex. I was overqualified for the task. Hank helped for the Friday night performance, but Hank came over to my apartment in the morning. Sue needed some time without her father in law in the house. He knocked at my apartment door. I just happened to have Steve, the photographer, with me. I gave Hank a cup of coffee and we got naked. Steve and Hank hit it off. We made a little daisy chain on my bed. I sucked Hank as he sucked Steve. Steve completed the chain by sucking me. Steve's cock was easier to take than mine and Hank liked it. When we switched, it was Hank's time to take my cock. He did that and had no problem. As soon as I started to suck Hank he started to leak precum. When we switched Steve's cock was drooling ball juices. It was nice to know we were all revved up. I don't have the easiest cock in the world to suck, but Hank was sure giving it the good old college try. He wasn't just pretending to be interested either. Someone knocked on the door. I put on a robe and answered it. Dean was standing there. I told him I was having some fun and he was free to join us. He pretended to be unwilling but he started to take off his shirt as we talked. He wasn't that shy or sincere. When he saw Hank, it looked as if Christmas had come early for both men. Dean got hard the second he saw Hank. All was well. I was in a rare situation. I was with three men, none of whom were bottoms. That cut my normal repertoire of sexual positions in half. Steve was timid and Hank and Dean were new to the scene. I loe my cock, but it ain't for novices.