Chapter III

© 2001 Lyle Wilkerson All Rights Reserved

No part of this work may be duplicated or reprinted in any medium without the author's prior permission. Comments and inquiries may be directed to

I want to thank the many people who have e-mailed me regarding. In hopes of making the story a bit more interesting, there are some things you may wish to know.

First, No Advantage is completely written; it's 24 chapters in length. In accordance with Nifty's submission policies, the remaining chapters will be posted every other day or so.

Second, please remember this is a novel. I can expect that commencing with this chapter, some people may find some of the content offensive. I personally do not sanction nor condone all of the actions taken by the characters. In fact, I find some of the stuff in the story rather repulsive myself, but there's a reason for it being there. Accordingly, should you be offended by portions of the content, I trust you will not become offended by the entire work.

Third, yeah, I've written other stuff, but none of it is currently available on-line.

Again, my sincere thanks to everyone who's contacted me regarding the story and I hope to continue to hear from you.


Chapter 3

The alarm went off ending my nap. I needed to call Rob and confirm tonight was on, so I got out of bed. I went into the bathroom and took a long leak (beer really does that to me) then went back into the bedroom, grabbed the cordless phone off the desk in the sitting area on the way, then climbed back into bed propping myself up with pillows and pulling the covers up to my waist. Mom, Dad and I each have a separate phone line used mainly for our computers, but to save on confusion and having to deal with multiple answering machines, we all use the main house line for incoming calls. If somebody calls and you want a private conversation you hang up and call them back on your individual line. I punched in Rob's number on my line knowing I could talk without anyone inadvertently hearing the conversation. He answered on the third ring with, what do you expect, but, "Hello."

"Captain Stud Dog here requesting ground clearance to land at Rob International Airport. What's the air traffic look like?"

"Hi, Clayton. How 'bout seven? I got a few errands I gotta get out of the way."

"You mean I have to continue suffering for two whole more hours?" I whined. Just thinking about going over to Rob's was again going right to my prick.

"Listen, Monkey Fucker, the wait will be worth it; I thought up a new game. You haven't cleaned up yet have you?"

"No, I was going to hit the shower after calling you."

"Well, don't. No shower, no shaving, no change of clothes; just come as you are."

For no real reason in particular other than it turned out to be a lot of fun, Rob and I started playing sexual games from time to time, sorta like a really adult version of little kids playing Cowboys and Indians. The way it works is that you come up with two characters and a setting, like in a play. Then you start interacting, always staying in character, and let the characters develop on their own without any predetermined script. What makes it really fun is that sexual activity is always an essential part of the acting. Using minor props is fine but only if they add something to the story. Yeah, it may sound weird or maybe a little pervy but once you get into it, it can be an absolute blast. So far, Sea Captain and Cabin Boy was probably the best. I came up with that one; I was the Cabin Boy. Prison Guard and Escaped Convict has been the only one so far that really bombed out; it got all confused when we were trying to work out who should tie up who.

Well, Rob definitely had my attention now, so I asked, "So I gotta be all grungy, what's up?"

"You're gonna love it, Prince Regent and the Valet. You get to be the Prince, your name is Prince Clayton. I, of course, am the Valet."

"What's your name?"

"Well, you must, of course, refer to your servant only by his last name, so I'm Davis."

"Okay, Davis, what's the setting?" The thought of being Prince Clayton was starting to turn me on.

"All right. Now this may sound a little complicated but I think it will work. The year is like 1700, so you need to be thinking about using all that stilted formal language stuff. I have to refer to you as 'Your Majesty,' you have to use the royal 'we' and 'our' rather than 'I' or 'my.' Know what I'm talking about?"

There's another thing that makes the sex Rob and I have different from what it seems other people do. We often talk during sex, but it's not simply talking dirty to one another or just commands or requests like "slower," "deeper" or simple stuff like that. It's often complete sentences telling one another what we're thinking or feeling, or praising and encouraging one another. But it's never made up stuff or some junk you just say 'cause you think the other person wants to hear it. By analogy I suppose you could say that when Rob and I have sex it's like a team sport, so for the activity to be any good you have to talk and work with your partner. What makes it so cool is that in addition to sharing one another's body, you're also sharing one another's mind. After all, it is true that the most important sexual organ you have is your brain. That's why it's so important that whatever we say has to be truthful and honest. Also, you don't hold anything back. When one of us moans it's because we're doing something that makes you want to moan, so you let it loose. And if that revelation is not weird enough for you, get this: sometimes we wind up laughing our butts off during sex; we sometimes even tell one another jokes while we're screwing.

"Davis, our humble servant, pray thee tell thy noble master more of thy cunning plan." Gosh, I'm really getting into this already.

"Let's hold off on the language change for now until I get this thing explained, okay?" asked Rob.

"Okay, keep going."

"All right, so it's like 1700 over in Europe somewhere, some country that doesn't exist anymore, doesn't really matter. The old king, your father, has died, but only after this really long illness so it's not a shock to you that he's died. You've had time to adjust so you're not really sad over his death. Got it?"


"See, I gotta have the king die in order for the rest to work, but I didn't want you to have to worry about being sad or any grief shit."

"That'll work. Go on."

"Okay. So the old king is dead, but you haven't been crowned yet; that's why you're the Prince Regent and not just an ordinary prince."

"Okay. Wait a minute. If I'm only the Prince Regent, you're gonna have to call me 'Your Highness.' I can't be 'Your Majesty' until I'm crowned as king."

"You sure that's how it works?"

"Yeah, trust me on that one; a highness is pretty high up but majesty is top of the heap. Oh, there's something else. I can't use the royal 'we' shit; only the king gets to do that." Like I said, Rob and I can really get into these games. I think another reason it's fun to do is since you have to think about the play acting stuff you're a little bit distracted so the sex lasts a whole lot longer, sometimes for hours.

"Okay, if you say so, Your Highness, you obviously know more about that than your humble Davis does. All right, now we're getting to the operative part for tonight. Your spies have uncovered an assassination plot hatched by your evil uncle, Edmund. By bumping you off he gets to be king. So for your safety and that of the entire kingdom, you haul ass away from the castle to safely spend the night at your trustworthy valet's remote cottage way out in the forest somewhere. That's why you gotta show up all grungy. When you arrive tonight, you've just had a long, hard journey and are in great need of sustenance and support from Davis. After being in the saddle all day long, pounding across the countryside and into the forest, your balls and butt are definitely gonna need a lot of careful attention from Davis. Got the picture?"

"I think so, let me think on it for a minute." Boy, this scenario has some great possibilities. I knew for sure that a long shower with Rob would be involved and getting all wet and soaped up with him is one of our favorite forms of foreplay. After pondering on the scenario something dawned on me. "Hang on a sec. If Davis is my valet, why the hell does he live in this cottage way out in the woods instead of hanging with me at the castle like a good valet should?"

"Ewww. You're right. Got any ideas?"

The phone line was silent while we both thought this one over. I had a flash of inspiration. "Got it! The cottage is Davis' ancestral home, but his family has all been dead for years. Nobody knows about the place; that's why it's so safe. The only reason I know about it is because last year while we were on a hunting trip, a bad storm came up so Davis and I spent the night there. And, since I've been there once before, I won't get lost finding it tonight. How's that work?"

The phone line was again silent while Rob thought this part through. "Yeah, that's perfect. Plus, since nobody lives there permanently, everything is real plain and simple."

"How did you come up with this one? It sounds great."

"I was thinking about you graduating next week, being head of your class and all. That's kinda like a coronation, getting crowned and all. See, that why you gotta be the prince."

"That's neat, a really personalized game just for me. Hey, listen, do I bring any soldiers with me?"

"No, you're on your own, you little cumblaster. You've sent Davis ahead to make preparations for the night and you shall shortly flee the castle all by yourself."

"Who's gonna take care of my horse when I get to Davis' cottage?"

"Uhhhmmm, I don't think the horse is an essential character. Just leave him out in the parking lot and he can take care of himself."

"Okay. Let me make sure I got all this right. I show up, all tired and grungy and you're there waiting there to attend to my needs. Right?"

"You got it."

"So you're gonna have something for me to eat?"

"Yeah, that's absolutely essential to what I have in mind; you'll find out."

"Do I get any hints about what deviate pleasures you have planned?

"Nope. Any other questions?"

I sat there propped up in bed thinking if there were any other essential background details that may have been overlooked. As I was thinking I realized I was fondling my hard dick and something occurred to me. "Hey, have the Prince and Davis ever done any evil deeds before, you know, fooling around of the serious variety?

"Hmmmmm." The silence over the phone told me Rob hadn't thought about this one. I thought about which would be better. First time together or accomplished fuck buddies? Rob finally answered, "I vote for no experience, that way it can be a night of discovery. What do you think?"

"That winds my clock. Wait a minute. I don't think I can spend the whole night."


"I came out to my parents this afternoon and it probably wouldn't be cool to spend the night at another guy's house just yet."

"Clayton! You came out to your parents today! That's fantastic! How'd it go?" yelled (and I mean top-of-your-lungs yelled) Rob.

So I spent the next five minutes or so telling Rob what happened. I let him know right away that Mom had known about me for nearly a year, which is what makes the whole story funny. I could have gone on and on about it, and probably would have, but Rob cut my tale short with, "Hey, listen, Your Highness, Davis has gotta go stock in some provisions for his lord and master so I need to go."

"Okay, wise and faithful servant. See you at seven. But I got one last quick question."

"What's that?"

"Is your dick as hard as mine is right now?"

"What do you think, Prince Pervert? I've been leaking all afternoon thinking this thing out. Gotta go. See you at seven. Bye."

I shut off the phone, got out of bed and put the thing back in its charger on the desk. I had a little over an hour to kill before heading over to Rob's so I just stood there by the desk trying to think of something to do. I lit up a cigarette and decided to get dressed, or rather redressed since I was putting the same clothes back on per Rob's instructions. After I'd done the yard work earlier in the day, I jumped in the pool before I cleaned it so I wasn't really smelly. I seriously doubted that many princes ran around in a T-shirt, cutoffs and sneakers, but I figured I'd be back out of those very shortly after getting to Rob's cottage. Bending over to pick up my briefs I saw that my dick was still sticking straight out.

Guys are always bragging about how big their dicks are, saying they have an eight or nine-inch cock. That's a bunch of bullshit. Six inches is the normal size for an erect cock and in this department I'm absolutely normal. Perfectly straight with a properly proportioned circumcised head on it. A rather handsome member, if I say so myself. Rob calls it a "missile dick" (he's got a "banana dick," a slight upward curve to it). As for my balls, well, they are somewhat bigger from what most guys seem to have judging from what I've seen in locker rooms, on the Internet and in porno flicks over at Rob's. I sometimes wondered if all the jacking off I did was the cause of this.

Okay, Clayton, grit your teeth, pinch the head and deflate the damned thing. I let out a little groan from my self-inflicted pain; it didn't hurt a lot, but it still hurt. Like I said before, I don't enjoy doing this, but you gotta do what you gotta do. After about three seconds I could tell it had worked, so I let go of it and watched it go down in size until my entire package could be comfortably stuffed back into my briefs.

While I was putting my clothes back on I thought about taking Wilbur for a walk to kill some time, but it was nearly 5:30 and he likes to eat at 6:00, so it wouldn't be much of a walk and at his age he doesn't need to be eating immediately after an exercise period. But that didn't mean Clayton couldn't go for a walk by himself; that would give me the opportunity to think about being Prince Clayton and how he should speak.

I walked through the Shack and found Dad back in the den watching a cooking show on television. "Dad, I'm gonna meet Rob at seven, get something to eat and then do the movie thing, if that's okay." I knew it would be but you still ask permission.

"Fine with me. Are you going like that?" he asked, surveying my appearance.

"Sure, it's just some dumb movie. No big deal." I realized as I said this that going over to Rob's looking like I did would allay any suspicions my parents might have that sex was in any way involved. After all, under ordinary circumstances, or with ordinary people, who would prepare for a sexual encounter the way I had? Having a deviate lifestyle does have its advantages.

"Okay, if it works for you, who am I to question, you little bum? Let your mother know you won't be around for supper, she's still outside."

"Okay, Dad."

Mom was back in the lounge chair with her book. In her own way she's just as weird as Dad is, but also in a nice way. Mom does crossword puzzles in ink. She's also the one who taught me how to play baseball, hang wallpaper, and which fork, knife or spoon to use in the proper order at a formal dinner. Dad taught me how to do plumbing and electrical repairs, work on the car, and how to cook and sew. Between my parents they have all the necessary skills and talents of a domestic unit and then some. But as far as who has what skill, forget the stereotypes; it's all jumbled up between them in no logical or rational fashion. My relationship with my mother is just as good as the one I have with my father, it's just different.

I walked over to Mom, leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. When she looked up at me I just said, "Thanks, Mama." She looked back at me, smiled and replied, "You're welcome, dear." Mom knew without any further words or explanations that I was thanking her for making today what it was for me. She had respected my privacy by not saying anything after she found those gay pictures, givi n g me time to work things out for myself so I would be comfortable with my decisions. By keeping things to herself rather than sharing her conclusion about me being gay with my father (as I suspect most mothers would have done), she demonstrated her love for him; Dad would have gone nuts worrying and waiting for me to finally come to him. Mom is indeed one classy lady.

With that solemn thing taken care of I said, "Don't worry about supper for me." Again, with Mom you don't have to use a lot of words. I'd already mentioned going to the movies with Rob; if she had any objections to me going out for the night she would have said so then, so there was no need for me to ask her for permission.

"That's fine. Clayton, I know you've got a lot on your mind right now but there is something I do wish you'd do for me, and for yourself."

"What's that?"

"Stop thinking and just chill, at least 'til tomorrow."

"Okay, Mom, I'll try." I had every intention of chilling out tonight, eventually. But in order to get really cooled off you need to get hotter than hell first. Rob's game plan for the night had gotten my fire started and I could hardly wait to see how high the flames would get.