Date: Fri, 9 Feb 2007 19:11:28 -0800 (PST) From: Kirk Landers Subject: Phases- part 14 Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you. How everyone is doing well. Here's part 14 entitled, 'For Tonight.' 'FOR TONIGHT' Another two weeks have passed. Kurt and Nick were both very worried about Leo. He hasn't been partying, but something about him has been off. They have tried talking to him, but nothing seems to help. He just smiles, says he's fine and goes off on his own. It was another Thursday morning, Kurt and Ryan were eating breakfast together when Ryan's cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Laurie. Ryan quickly got up. "I have to take this," Ryan said, "I'll be right back." "Okay," Kurt replied as he flipped the page of his magazine he was reading. Ryan went outside of the apartment on the balcony to talk. "What is it?" Ryan asked. "Ryan, have you thought anymore about what we talked about a few days ago?" Laurie said. "Yeah, and I still don't have an answer," Ryan replied. "It should be an easy decision," Laurie said, "Sydney needs you." "Five years ago you didn't want me to have anything to do with Sydney when you decided to take off to Florida," Ryan began, "Now all of the sudden, she needs me?" "She's having behavioral issues at school," Laurie said, "She's getting into a lot of trouble and at home she's acting out. I spoke with a counselor at her school and she thinks it might be because of the lack of a father figure around. And a gay father figure is a lot better to have around for her than no father figure." "And you suddenly decide to just call me up?" Ryan asked. "I wanted to be there for her, but you didn't want me around. Now you just decide to include me?" "I know it's selfish and I know it isn't fair, but we have to do what's best for her," Laurie said. "I'm having a tough enough time working and taking care of her, I need you too." "I don't know," Ryan said, "For me to just get up and move to Florida and leave my life behind here. That's a lot to ask of me right now." "But it's not just me asking, it's Sydney too," Laurie brought up. "I know," Ryan sighed, "And I do want to help her. Believe me I do. But I have to think this one through. I'm going to be giving up a lot if I leave here." "Please Ryan," Laurie sighed, "Please." "I'll call you later," Ryan said hanging up. He stood outside on the balcony for a bit and thought over his situation. If he left he'd have a chance to know his daughter and form a relationship with her, but if he left he'd also be leaving behind Kurt. He honestly didn't know what to do. Ryan walked back inside and Kurt was still sitting and eating his breakfast, he looked over at Ryan and gave him a smile. "Everything okay?" Kurt asked. "Yeah," Ryan sighed, he still didn't tell Kurt what was going on, he didn't know how to. Meanwhile, Nick was working at home when he found himself thinking about Leo. Wanting to see how he was doing today he gave him a call. As usual, Leo didn't pick up. He hasn't been answering any of his phone calls for the past couple days, at least not when Nick called. "Hey, it's Leo, leave me a message after the beep," the voicemail message said. "Leo, it's Nick again. Please call me. I just want to see how you're doing." Nick hung up the phone and went back to work. He's been trying to do better at talking to Adrian, he called him a couple of times during the course of the week, but his worry over Leo often interfered with their conversations, either he forgot to call Adrian because of Leo or when he did talk to Adrian he would often talk about his worry about Leo. Nick knew he should just leave Leo alone to deal with things himself, but he felt like his big brother and as a result felt the need to protect and make sure he was okay. Later that day Nick and Kurt met up for lunch at a very quaint French Bistro a few blocks away from Nick's place. "I just can't seem to get through to Leo," Nick said taking a sip of his wine. "Nick, you've done everything you could," Kurt said. "What's he doing today?" Nick asked. "I don't know, he didn't come home until late," Kurt replied. "Drunk?" Nick asked. "I don't know," Kurt answered, "I've tried talking to him, but you know Leo. He's so stubborn. Only one person could really get him to see reason, and ironically it's that one person who's the reason for him being like this." "I'm really worried," Nick said. "Maybe we're just over analyzing the situation and he's just dealing with his grief in private," Kurt suggested. "I don't know," Nick said. "Nick, I know you want to help him," Kurt began, "I want to help him too, but there's really nothing we can do. He has to deal with this on his own. Besides, shouldn't you be spending more time on your relationship with Adrian? When was the last time you talked to him?" "A few days ago," Nick replied. "Nick," Kurt sighed, "You're going to lose him if you keep that up." "I just don't have time to deal with him right now," Nick replied, "I have work and then Leo is worrying me so much that I can't think of anything else." "Well you're not being fair to Adrian," Kurt said. "It's hard enough on you two being across the country from one another, but to not even talk to him. What kind of relationship is that?" "I know," Nick nodded, "I know. He just got back from Paris today I think. So I'll give him a call later." "Good," Kurt replied taking a bite of his food. "So what time is your interview with West Coast Style?" Nick asked. "Two," Kurt replied, "I'm nervous." "Why?" Nick asked, "They are the ones who called and eagerly wanted to set up an interview with you, you shouldn't feel nervous." "It's a big magazine," Kurt replied. "Working at Update is nice because it has such a small circulation that I didn't have to worry nearly as much about what I wrote, but with West Coast Style, it's nationwide and it's huge, everyone reads it." "Did they say what position you'd be interviewing for?" Nick asked. "They said they're making up an editorial position for me," Kurt replied, "I'll be writing my own little thing every issue and today at the interview they want to go over the tone and the content of what my editorials will be about." "They made a position especially for you?" Nick asked impressed. "I know, it's crazy huh?" Kurt asked, "It's weird though, they never gave me the name of the editor I'm meeting with. They just kept saying, 'the editor will be pleased,' or 'the editor can't wait to meet you.'" "That is kind of odd," Nick said. "But who cares? You're going to be working for a big magazine now." "I know, I can't wait," Kurt said with a grin. "Will you stay at Update?" Nick asked. "Depends," Kurt replied. "Update paid me a good amount each article, if they're willing to pay me at least four dollars a word then I'll leave Update." "This is exciting," Nick said, "My best friend working at one of the biggest fashion magazine's in the nation." "Well not officially yet," Kurt said, "It depends how they like me and I like them." "They'll love you," Nick said. "Hope so." Back at the apartment, Ryan was sitting on the couch thinking over his choice of staying with Kurt or going to Florida to be with his daughter. As he sat there he began thinking about when Laurie left for Florida when she was four months pregnant. It was five years ago, Ryan was sitting with Laurie at Los Angeles International Airport. She just got her boarding ticket and checked in her bags. Laurie was very petite, beautiful, long blonde hair, blue eyes. The two were best friends until one night at a party they both got drunk and took their friendship one step too far. After that night things were never the same between the two, they became distant, both feeling weird for what had happened. Then a month later Laurie found out she was pregnant and Ryan was the father. She debated not telling him, but knew he had a right to know, so she told him, it was the first time they had spoken since that night together. He was fully prepared to fulfill his duty and obligation as the father, but Laurie had other ideas. Her uncle in Florida had offered her a good paying job that could support both her and the baby, it was an opportunity she couldn't pass up, and at the time she didn't want Ryan there with here. "You know, there are jobs you can get here," Ryan said, "And I work so I can help support you and the baby as well." "This is a good job my uncle is offering me in Florida," Laurie said, "I'd be crazy not to take it." "But I can help you here," Ryan said. "Ryan, this isn't your responsibility," Laurie replied. "Yes it is," Ryan said, "This baby is mine too." "But it was my choice to keep it," Laurie retorted. "I know this isn't what you want and I don't want to be responsible for your whole life changing." "Laurie, you're not," Ryan said, "It was an accident that we both made that night, like it or not I'm just as much a part of it as you are." "Ryan," Laurie said putting her hand gently on the side of his face. "I love that you're trying to take responsibility and be there for me and the baby. I love that you're not one of those guys who would just leave me in the dust, maybe because you're gay. You have a more compassionate side than most straight guys who get in your position." "Then let me be there," Ryan begged. "I want to be apart of this child's life." "Ryan, look down the road to when this baby gets older," Laurie said, "It's going to want to know about why you and I aren't together and why you bring boys over. It'll just complicate his or her life." Ryan didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say or think. "Please, just let me do this," Laurie said, "Let me go and give this baby a shot at a somewhat normal life." Ryan sighed, knowing that she might be right, maybe this would be best for the baby. "Promise me you'll call me if you need anything?" Ryan asked. "I promise," Laurie replied giving him a hug, "Thanks for seeing me off." "Of course," Ryan said, "Take care okay?" "I will," Laurie answered. Ryan put his hand on her stomach, "Bye little one." Laurie then headed off to check through security. Ryan stayed and watched until he could no longer see her. Ryan realized the decision he had to make was one that would change his life. He could either be the father to this kid, or be with a man who's perfect for him. As hard of a decision as it was he knew what he had to do. Inside of Leo's room he woke up finally a little after twelve thirty. He looked around the mess in his room, clothes were laying all over the floor, his work uniform was wrinkled and tossed in a corner of the room and he had bottles of alcohol all over; beer, vodka, scotch, etc. He had a massive headache when he sat up and rubbed his hands over his face. "Another day," Leo sighed as he stumbled out of bed to get some aspirin from the kitchen. When he went out of his room he saw Ryan sitting on the couch. "Hey," Ryan said, "What's up?" "I have a headache," Leo moaned slowly making his way into the kitchen. "You want some food?" Ryan asked. "No," Leo replied, "Thanks." Leo got some aspirin and poured himself a glass of water to wash the pills down with. "Kurt and Nick have been pretty worried about you," Ryan said. "Tell them not to," Leo said, "I'm fine. I have work today." "You okay to work?" Ryan asked. "Yeah," Leo replied, "I just need to rest for a bit first." Leo then went back in his room and closed the door. At one Kurt went to the West Coast Style office for his interview, when he got off the elevator he saw a big receptionist desk with the letters W,C,S written in gold on the wall behind the desk. The receptionist was a handsome and very stylish young man, early twenties, sandy blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He looked more like a model for the magazine than the receptionist. "May I help you?" he asked. "Hi Frank," Kurt said reading the name plate on his desk, "My name's Kurt Parker. I have an interview with the editor today." "Oh of course," Frank said. "Nice to meet you. I'll have his assistant come get you." Frank picked up the phone and called for the editor's assistant. When he got there he was faced with a very glamorous looking young woman, couldn't be more than twenty-one. She had on a black pencil skirt with a silk lavender top on with a stylish white belt over the top to complete her look. "Hi, I'm Cindy," she said as she extended her hand and flipped her shiny raven black hair out of her face. "I'm Kurt." Kurt shook her hand. "Nice to meet you." "Right this way," Cindy said motioning Kurt to follow her. "We're real excited to have you here." "I'm still a little confused as to why the editor wanted me so bad," Kurt said. "It's not like Update is a big magazine." "Well, our editor read it and he loves it and loves your work and really wanted you here," Cindy said. Kurt followed her down a white hallway, on the walls were framed covers of each issue of West Coast Style. Kurt looked in one room and saw that it was filled with swimsuits and in another room it was filled with women's clothes followed by a room filled with men's clothes. They then entered a big room with two desk on opposite sides and in the middle was a door to another room. Obviously that was the door to the editors office. Cindy hurried to her desk which was on the right side of the room to intercom the editor. "Kurt Parker is here," Cindy said. She hung up and then made eye contact with Kurt. "Go right on in." Kurt took a deep breath and clutched tightly to his briefcase as he walked up to the closed door. He slowly turned the door knob and entered the room. When he walked in he saw that it was a huge office, white walls, white couch, white furniture, everything was white and gave it a very clean look. Only color were the magazines sitting on top of the editors desk. He looked behind the desk and saw a big white chair, the back was facing him so he couldn't see the editor. "Hi," Kurt said to break the silence. "Hello Kurt," the editor turned his chair around and Kurt was shocked to see Reese. "Reese?" Kurt asked in shock. "You're the editor here? I thought you were working in New York?" "I was but then I got this job as editor here and I couldn't turn it down so I came back," Reese replied. "Now it makes sense why West Coast Style wanted to hire me," Kurt said sitting in a chair on the other side of Reese's desk. "So how are things?" Reese asked, "I got to tell you, I've thought about you a lot since we last saw each other in Vegas." "Things are good," Kurt replied, "You know that guy I was interested in?" "The one with the boyfriend?" Reese asked. "Yeah, well they broke up and him and I are together now," Kurt replied. "That's great," Reese said, "I'm glad to hear it." "Thanks," Kurt said, "So how are you? Why didn't you tell me you were back?" "I wanted it to be a surprise," Reese said. "Well mission accomplished," Kurt said. "So do you want to hear about the job I have lined up for you here?" Reese asked. "Yeah, absolutely," Kurt replied. "Well, I really want you to write about trends and styles," Reese began, "What's hot, what's not, etc. You know what I mean?" "Yeah," Kurt said. "Are you sure you want me for this job? It's so different from what I used to write about in Update." "I'm positive," Reese said, "You're a great writer and this magazine will give you good exposure, not to mention at five dollars a word you'll be getting a lot more than Update." "Five dollars a word?" Kurt asked in shock. "Yeah," Reese replied. "You deserve it." "Thank you so much Reese," Kurt said gratefully. "My pleasure," Reese said, "Only catch is that I want you to work in the office a bit more than you did at Update. I know you're used to working from home, but I would like you to work here so we could go over your editorials together. You don't have to work here all the time, but at least a couple times a week." "Okay," Kurt agreed. "Great," Reese said. "When can you start?" "Two weeks," Kurt said, "I want to finish up at Update before I do this." "All right," Reese agreed. Meanwhile, back at Nick's place he was reading one of the letters to respond in his column. 'Dear Nick, I have a really great boyfriend, he's sweet, caring, generous, everything I could ask for. But lately my life has become so busy with work and in my personal life that I don't have the time I used to, to be with him. I love him, I really do, but is it fair to him for me to keep him around if I don't have the time to put into this relationship? From, Torn in Melrose' Nick set the letter down and began writing. 'Dear Torn in Melrose, It sounds like you have a pretty great boyfriend. Are you sure you don't have the time for him? Because it sounds like men don't get much better than him. If you really don't have time for him, then is it really fair to keep him on the sideline waiting for you? If you don't have the time for a relationship then you really need to be fair to both him and you. Give him the ability to be out there and be with someone who he can be in a relationship with, and it will give you the ability to focus on your work and other obligations while not feeling guilty for not being able to be with your significant other.' After Nick finished his response he realized how much that letter related to him and Adrian. Adrian is a great guy, smart, funny, loving, but with the distance between them and how hectic things have become with Leo, Nick realized he wasn't being fair to Adrian. He had to be fair to him. Later that day Leo was at work at the restaurant. He was clearing off a table when Jesse came into his mind. He thought of Jesse's smile that always melted his heart every time he saw it. He thought of the way it felt when Jesse held him in his arms and the sound of his beating heart as they laid in bed together. He thought of the touch of his skin and the way his lips felt as they caressed his. Panicked, Leo looked around for a drink, it was the only thing to keep Jesse out of his head, but he didn't see one he could take. He had to get out. He hurried over to one of his co-workers and asked him to cover the rest of his shift and he quickly left. Leo began running, he quickly made his way to a liquor store and bought a bottle of scotch. Leo then went back home and went to his room. He closed the door and sat down on the floor leaning against the door and held the bottle closely to him. He looked at the bottle, he knew he shouldn't drink it, but he also knew it was the only thing to help him. He set the bottle down and went into his closet. He pulled out a blue sweatshirt, it was Jesse's. Leo loved wearing it. He put it on and curled up in his bed. He decided, just this once he'll let himself remember Jesse. He took out a picture of the two of them he had hidden under his bed. The picture was of the two of them kissing each other at the park. It was a beautiful picture, it was one that was full of love. "Come back," Leo cried into his pillow, "Please come back." Leo cried himself to sleep and dreamt about his last day with Jesse. The two were waking up in bed together. "Breakfast is ready," Jesse announced. Leo came out of his room and saw a table full of all sorts of breakfast goods, chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, and coffee. "Wow," Leo said impressed. "Sit down," Jesse said pulling out a chair at the table for Leo. "Thanks babe," Leo said giving Jesse a kiss. "Anything for you," Jesse replied. "Careful, a guy can get used to this sort of treatment," Leo said smiling. "Well, I think that was my problem before," Jesse said, "I didn't do enough to show how much I care about you. It's going to be different this time." "Oh yeah?" Leo asked. "Yeah," Jesse promised, "You were always doing nice things for me and I took them for granted. I won't let that happen again." "I love you," Leo said kissing Jesse again. "I love you too," Jesse replied. Leo then dreamed of the few moments before the accident. "Thanks so much for tonight," Leo said holding Jesse's hand as they walked to the car. "Yeah, it was a lot of fun," Jesse said kissing Leo on the forehead. "I'm not even tired," Leo said. "Me neither," Jesse said giving Leo a mischievous smile. "Lets hurry home," Leo said, knowing full well what Jesse wanted to do the rest of the night. The two got in Jesse's car and headed home. As they pulled out of the parking lot they came to a stop light. While they were waiting Leo looked over at Jesse and just saw everything he could ever want, he couldn't express how happy he was to be with him again. He was so consumed in looking at the man he loved that he barely had time to notice the headlights shining into his face before a car slammed into them. Right when the car slammed into them, Leo woke up and bolted up on his bed. Tears in his eyes. Leo couldn't take it, he wasn't strong enough to think of Jesse. He got out of bed and picked up the bottle of scotch and started drinking. Kurt just parked at his apartment complex and called up Nick to tell him about his interview. "How'd it go?" Nick asked as soon as he saw Kurt's name on the caller ID. "Did you know Reese was the editor at West Coast Style?" Kurt asked. "He is?" Nick asked, he then thought it over for a bit, "Oh, I guess that makes sense. When I was in New York, Adrian was telling me that Reese might be moving back to California for some job. So he's your new boss?" "Yeah," Kurt replied. "That's awesome," Nick said. "You think I'm there because of my talent as a writer or because he used to like me?" Kurt asked. "I'm sure it's because of your writing," Nick said, "West Coast Style is a big magazine, they only hire the best." "Hope so," Kurt said. "Well, I'm about to walk into my apartment and tell Ryan about my day, so I'll talk to you later." "All right. Bye," Nick said hanging up. When Kurt came inside Ryan was sitting in the kitchen table waiting for him. "Hey," Kurt said giving Ryan a kiss. "You won't believe what happened at West Coast Style." "Kurt, I need to talk to you," Ryan said. Kurt saw the look in Ryan's eyes and knew it was serious. "What's wrong?" Kurt asked sitting down at the table with Ryan. "There's something you don't know about me," Ryan slowly started, "I don't even know how to begin telling you." "Well, just say it," Kurt said holding Ryan's hand. "It'll be okay." "I don't know if it will be," Ryan answered. He then took a big breath before he dropped the bomb, "Kurt, I have a daughter." Kurt looked at Ryan in utter disbelief, not even being able to grasp that information. He was speechless. "She's almost five," Ryan said, "Her name is Sydney. Her and the mom live in Florida." "You have a daughter?" Kurt quietly asked. "Yeah," Ryan replied. "Laurie, the mom, used to be my best friend. We had one night together, I won't go into details, but she got pregnant. She moved to Florida before she gave birth, I never knew anything about the kid aside from the one time Laurie called to tell me it was a girl and her name is Sydney." "Okay," Kurt said not following where Ryan was headed. "Well, Laurie called me last week and told me that Sydney is having some trouble," Ryan said. "She needs a father, she needs me." Right when Ryan said that, he knew what was happening. "You're leaving," Kurt concluded. "Why is it all my roommates end up moving to Florida?" Kurt couldn't help but find it a bit amusing that his last roommate and now Ryan are going to Florida. "Yeah," Ryan sighed. "I need to help my daughter out." "When?" Kurt asked doing his best to stay strong. "Tomorrow," Ryan replied. "Tomorrow?" Kurt panicked, "That's not enough time." "I'm so sorry Kurt," Ryan said, "But I have to be with Sydney right now. She needs me." "You're going for good?" Kurt asked. "I don't know," Ryan replied, "For a while anyway. Which means-" "We have to break up," Kurt said finishing Ryan's sentence. "Unless you move with me," Ryan suggested. Kurt sighed, wishing he could, but knowing he couldn't, "I can't. I just got this job and I can't let Nick take care of Leo by himself." "Okay," Ryan replied. "This was the toughest decision I ever had to make." "I don't want you to go," Kurt said, "But I understand why you're leaving. It's your daughter." "Yeah," Ryan said, not knowing what else to say. "And I'm so happy for you that you're going to have a relationship with your daughter now," Kurt said, "That's great." Kurt turned away to wipe tears from his eyes. "Thanks," Ryan sighed feeling horrible. Kurt just looked sadly at Ryan, neither one knowing what to do now. "Well, we have until tomorrow," Ryan said. "Yeah," Kurt nodded, trying to smile through the sadness. Back at Nick's place, he was on the phone with Adrian. "Listen Adrian," Nick said, "You know how much you mean to me. You're a great guy, but I just can't do this right now. It's not fair to you. I've been so consumed with Leo and with work that I haven't been giving you the attention you deserve. You deserve someone a lot better than me. Someone you can actually be with. And it's so hard with us living across the country, it's just too hard. I'm so sorry." "Don't do this Nick," Adrian replied, "We can make this work." "Please, Adrian," Nick said, "This is for the best. Maybe one day circumstances will be better and we'll meet up again, but right now I just can't. I'm too worried about Leo and am so focused on him that I'm not being fair to you. Please, just know that I love you and that this is for the best." "I love you too," Adrian replied sadly. "Goodbye Adrian," Nick sighed sadly as he hung up. Adrian hung up the phone and looked at the plane ticket to LA he was holding in his hand. He threw the ticket away and left the airport and went back to his place. The next day Ryan finished packing his things, he had spent all night packing up. He already said his goodbyes to Nick and Leo, all that was left was saying goodbye to Kurt. Kurt sat on the couch looking at the boxes of Ryan's things, he still couldn't believe that he was leaving. "Well, I guess that's everything," Ryan said as he finished taping up the last box of his stuff. "I guess so," Kurt replied. "I'll head out early," Ryan said, "I'm just going to have a delivery service come for all these boxes." "Wait," Kurt said getting off the couch and going up to Ryan. He placed his hand in Ryan's and leaned in kissing him. The two first gently kissed, but then kissed more passionately, knowing that it was the last kiss for them. They made their way into the bedroom never removing their lips from one another and laid down on the bed together and began taking each other's clothes off. Ryan kissed Kurt's neck as Kurt unbuttoned Ryan's shirt and took it off, throwing it on the ground. The two spent their final hours in each other's arms. Afterwards Kurt was sleeping in Ryan's arms, Ryan looked at his watch and saw it was time for him to go to the airport. He carefully got out of bed and began to get dressed. After he finished getting ready he looked down on the bed and saw Kurt laying there alone. He went over and kissed Kurt on the forehead. Kurt slowly opened his eyes and saw that Ryan was all dressed. "You're leaving?" Kurt asked. "Yeah," Ryan replied softly. "Let me get dressed and I'll take you to the airport," Kurt said beginning to get up, but Ryan stopped him. "No, just stay in bed," Ryan replied. "I'll get a cab." Kurt sighed looking sadly into Ryan's eyes. "I'm going to miss you," Kurt said. "I'm going to miss you too," Ryan replied. "No one will ever compare to you," Kurt said tearing up. "I love you," Ryan said. "I love you too," Kurt replied. Ryan leaned in and kissed Kurt one last time. In that kiss Kurt thought of the first moment him and Ryan met when he interviewed to be his roommate and as quickly as Ryan came into his life, he's quickly leaving it. "Bye," Ryan said getting up and he headed out of the room. Ryan looked back into the room one last time at Kurt who gave him a brave smile. And then Ryan left leaving Kurt alone. Kurt curled up in the bed and quietly cried to himself. Just like that Nick, Kurt and Leo were all single again. To Be Continued... With any comments, questions, or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. I would love to hear from you. Thank you so much!