Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2007 09:04:01 -0700 (PDT) From: Kirk Landers Subject: Phases- part 36 Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you. Hope everyone is great, here is part 36 entitled "Moving Day." 'MOVING DAY' Kurt had a dream last night that has been reoccurring since Nick died. It was one in which he always woke up in a cold sweat. The ambulance had just taken Nick to the hospital and Leo and Kurt followed closely behind. After Kurt parked his car he quickly ran inside the hospital, the corridors seemed endless as he was searching for someone who could give him information about Nick. Kurt and Leo were instructed to go into the waiting room for a doctor to come see them. After what seemed like an eternity a doctor finally came up to them. "How is he?" Kurt asked desperately hoping for good news. "I'm sorry guys, but I'm afraid I have to tell you that he passed away. It seems he died before you both arrived to his place," the doctor said. Once Kurt heard those words he felt weak. His whole world came crashing down on him, and then suddenly he couldn't breath. "Kurt?" Leo asked seeing that Kurt was having a hard time breathing, but Kurt couldn't respond he just felt like he was being suffocated. Suddenly, he was alone in the hospital, unable to breath. Then just when he felt he was about to pass out he woke up. Kurt was sweating like he always did when he had those dreams. He hated remembering when the doctor told him that Nick was for sure gone. Why did he have that dream again? He hasn't had it for almost a month. And why had it changed to where Leo disappeared? Not wanting to think about it, he then settled back under the covers and laid awake for another two hours before finally falling back to sleep. It was a long week for the guys. Kurt has been upset over Leo moving, but has done his best to try and hide it. Ryan has been worried about Kurt because he knows how sad he is, to make things easier for Kurt since Leo was leaving, Ryan decided to move back in with him, which Kurt appreciated very much. It was yet another reason why he loves Ryan so much. Leo and Jesse meanwhile are over the moon to finally be moving in with one another and have slowly started moving some of Leo's things into his place. Joey has been doing well and staying out of trouble, he's began to help out more at the Center, mostly to spend time with Hank who he has truly started to take a liking too. Kurt is a nice guy and a great friend to have. Leo knows how lucky he is to have someone like Kurt as his best friend. Kurt's supportive, sensitive to other peoples' feelings, caring, but what he loves most about Kurt is that he knows that he will always be there for him. Although for the past week Leo has noticed that Kurt has been distancing himself from him and not really getting too involved with the moving process. While he knows that he got Kurt's blessing he also has a feeling that Kurt isn't as happy about it as he's letting on. When he asks Kurt about it, he just smiles and say, "I'm really happy for you Leo. I think it's great." While Leo would love to believe it, in his heart he knows that those aren't Kurt's true feelings. And he also knows that it has a lot to do with Nick. It's two days before Leo will be moving out for good and moving in with Jesse. Leo's been wanting to sit down with Kurt and talk to him, but Kurt's been keeping himself busy with work and with Ryan. Leo was sitting down in the living room of the apartment waiting for Kurt to come home. It was a little after seven and he knew that Kurt would be coming home from work any second. Finally, after another two minutes pass Kurt walked in carrying his laptop with him and setting it down on the counter in the kitchen after he walked in. "Hey, how was work?" Leo asked making small talk before he began the conversation with Kurt he knew he needed to have. "It was fine," Kurt replied. "Claudia has been up my ass about my last piece. She said it wasn't as good as she hoped and that my next one better have vast improvements." Kurt still couldn't make up his mind whether he liked her or not. Sometimes he thought she was a great boss and other times felt she was just a bitch. "That's great," Leo said not really paying attention to what Kurt said, mostly because of how nervous he was to have this conversation with him. "Kurt, can I talk to you?" "About what?" Kurt asked, although he knew what Leo's been wanting to talk to him about for the past week. "About me moving," Leo said. "I just have a feeling you're not really okay with it." "Why wouldn't I be okay with it?" Kurt asked putting a fake smile on his face. "You're moving in with Jesse and I think that's great." It's become Kurt's signature phrase lately and even he was starting to notice how fake it sounded. He was upset, but he doesn't want Leo to know how sad he is about him moving because he knows how happy Leo is about it and doesn't want to rain on his parade. "Yeah, but I don't think that's really how you feel," Leo said, finally getting to the point. "Kurt, you and I are best friends. You can tell me anything." "It's nothing Leo," Kurt lied. "I swear. Now if you don't mind, I have to pack some things because I'm going over to Ryan's to help him pack his stuff up so he can move back in here." Kurt then went into his room while Leo followed, not sure if he should continue the conversation or not. "It's great that Ryan is moving back in with you," Leo said trying to take a different approach. "Don't you think it's great? You and Ryan are going to have your own place and Jesse and me will have our own place." "Swell," Kurt said with a bit of underlying sarcasm. He is happy that Ryan is moving in with him, but he just doesn't want Leo to go. Of the friendship that used to consist of him, Leo and Nick, Leo is all he has left. He so desperately wants to just tell Leo not to go, to stay. But he knows if he does that Leo will in fact not move and he knows he can't prevent Leo from going on and living his life. "Leo, I hope you don't mind, but I'm in a bit of a rush. So I'll just talk to you later okay?" "Okay, but don't forget you and I are having dinner here tomorrow together," Leo said. "Just you and me. I want some of your cooking before I go." "Yeah," Kurt said as he finished packing his bag. "I'll talk to you later." He gave Leo a quick kiss on the cheek and left the apartment. Since Leo has been packing all his stuff Kurt couldn't bring himself to be at the apartment much lately. All the boxes and suitcases all piled up in the living room area has just become too much for Kurt to handle. Leo went over to his new place at Jesse's apartment to talk to him about Kurt. Leo didn't know what to do and even though he knew Jesse didn't have the answers either he liked to just be able to come to him for support which Jesse more than happily gave. "You just have to keep reminding him that even though you won't be living there that it won't change your guys' friendship," Jesse offered. "I think he knows that," Leo replied. "It's just that ever since Nick died, he's been more protective of me." "I see," Jesse replied. "He doesn't want to lose you." "Yeah," Leo replied. "Leo, if you're starting to have second thoughts about moving in, it's okay," Jesse said. "No," Leo said quickly, "I want this to happen. I've wanted this to happen for a long time. I just need Kurt to talk to me, then we can resolve this." "Obviously he'll be sad for a while, but he will get over it," Jesse said. "Especially since Ryan's moving in with him." "Which I'm so grateful for," Leo said. "I'm glad that Ryan is doing this, I think it will make it all easier for Kurt." Meanwhile, Joey and Hank were on their first official date together. Since both didn't have much money they decided to stay in and cook at Joey's place. They had a little pasta dinner and ate out on the balcony overlooking the city. Joey had set up a little table with a candle in the middle to set the mood. While they were both nervous, they were really enjoying their night together. "This is nice," Hank said. "Thank you. I've never experienced anything like this before." "Me neither," Joey replied with a smile. Joey then leaned over and gently kissed Hank on the lips. It was very tender and very sweet. "Joey," Hank began, "I like you." "I like you too," Joey replied. "If this is going to go any further I need to tell you some stuff about me," Hank said. "Sure," Joey replied. "What is it?" "You remember the other night when I said that I used to have family, but it ended badly?" Hank asked. "Yeah," Joey replied. "Well," Hank sighed, "I should explain myself. I should explain to you why I'm staying at the center." "Okay," Joey replied. Hank then went on to tell Joey his story. Hank grew up in an upper-middle class family. His mom is a school teacher and his father is a lawyer. He has a baby sister who was two when he last saw her. When he was still with them they lived in a beautiful house in Newport Beach, California. From the outside point of view, Hank had a good life. He went to a good school, had everything he could possibly want for a teenager. But as most things in life, when you look a little deeper, life wasn't quite as perfect as it seemed. Hank's father was an alcoholic and even worse, was a sexual predator. He led a double life and had sex with men when he was drunk. Hank believes that his father is gay, but never would let himself admit it. His mom chose to look the other way whenever his dad went off and got sexual favors from men. One night though, Hank's life changed forever. His dad came home drunk and walked in on Hank looking at gay porn on his computer. "You like to look at that filth?" his dad barked, "Are you a fag? Well, lets just see how you enjoy it faggot." And starting from that night on, his dad would sexually molest Hank and force Hank to do things he knew was wrong. Out of fear, Hank didn't say anything for two months. He sunk into a depression and would cry every time his father came into his room late at night in a drunken state. Finally, he went to his mom and cried to her and told her what happened, but she didn't do anything. She was too afraid of what other people would think if word got out. Not being able to take that life any more he snuck out of his house one night and never looked back and has been on his own ever since. After Hank got done telling Joey he was afraid of how Joey would react, would he run the other way? Would he not want to deal with someone who has so much damage? Instead though, Joey just went up to Hank and kissed him and held him tightly. "Thank you for telling me," Joey said. Hank didn't know what to say, he just held Joey tightly. He then fully understood what it was like to have someone truly care about him. He loved the feeling, it was one he never had before in his life. When Kurt went over to Ryan's place, he helped him pack some of his things and kept quiet for most of the time. "You okay?" Ryan asked. "Leo's moving day is getting close." "I'm fine," Kurt replied. "Liar," Ryan said with a little smile. "Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a little sad," Kurt replied. "But I can be sad, right?" "Absolutely," Ryan said. "But you can talk about it. You told me once that I needed to let you in more. Well, it works both ways." "He's leaving," Kurt said. "Leo's going away." "He's not going far though," Ryan said. "You two have lived apart from each other before." "But it was different then," Kurt said. "Nick was there, Nick was still alive." "So this is about Nick?" Ryan asked. "Yes...No...I don't know," Kurt sighed. Ryan then put his arms around Kurt and let him over to his bed where they sat down to talk. "Talk to me," Ryan said. "What is it?" "When Nick was alive, the world didn't seem so scary," Kurt said. "But since he died I just get scared sometimes. And I am scared of letting Leo go because what if he goes and one day doesn't come back, just like Nick." "That's not going to happen," Ryan said. "You don't know that," Kurt said. "And that's what scares me, we don't know. We don't know when our time is or when the last time we'll see each other might be." "That's life though Kurt," Ryan said. "There are never any guarantees in life. We just have to go with what fate hands us." "I'm afraid of losing him," Kurt said. "I can't lose him too." Ryan didn't say anything. He knew there were no words be could say that would completely comfort Kurt. Instead he just held him tightly, hoping that him being there was comfort enough for now. And for Kurt, it was. The next day Leo was in his office at the Center when Joey knocked on the door. "Bad time?" Joey asked. "No, not at all," Leo replied. "Come on in. How've you been? It's been a couple days since I last saw you." "I'm good," Joey replied. "Hank and I had our first date last night." "Oh? How did that go?" Leo asked curious. "It was good," Joey replied. "He told me about his family." "Oh he did?" Leo asked. "And how did you react?" "I just kissed him," Joey said. "I really didn't know what to say after he told me. How do you comfort someone when they went through something like that?" "Leo, when someone goes through something like what he went through, there are usually a lot of issues and emotional scars that don't go away," Leo said. "Now, before things get any more serious with Hank, you need to ask yourself if you're ready to handle all of that. Because of not then you should just walk away now, otherwise it will just hurt Hank more later down the road if you can't deal with it." "I've been thinking about that all night," Joey replied. "Hank as a lot of issues that will take years to deal with," Leo said. "Will you be able to be there for him and support him?" "I want to," Joey said. "But can you?" Leo asked. Joey didn't know how to answer that. He likes Hank a lot, but also knows that Hank is going through something that he will never be able to understand. "You just have to be fare to him Joey," Leo said. "And be fare to yourself." "But I really like him," Joey said. "That's great," Leo said. "Because Hank is a really great guy. But it's going to take more than that. You have to be able to handle everything he is going through. If you can do that, then great, but if not, then let him be with someone who can be there for him." Joey just sat quietly, knowing that Leo was right. Meanwhile, Kurt was working in his office when he got a visitor as well, Jesse. "Hey Kurt," Jesse said walking into his office. "Hey," Kurt smiled giving Jesse a hug. "What are you doing here?" "I wanted to stop by and talk to you," Jesse replied. "You busy?" "No, just editing one of my pieces," Kurt replied. "What's up?" "It's about Leo," Jesse said. "Everything all right with him?" Kurt asked. "Yeah, he's great," Jesse said. "But he's worried about you." "Me? Why?" Kurt asked. "I think you know," Jesse said. "We've all noticed that you aren't exactly happy about him moving." "What are you talking about?" Kurt said trying to play it off, "I'm fine with him moving." "Kurt, you can be honest with me," Jesse said. "We've been friends for a long time now." "It's nothing," Kurt said. "I think it's great you two are moving in together." And Kurt meant it, he was happy for Jesse and Leo. "But you're sad too," Jesse said. "You don't want Leo to leave." "I'll be fine Jesse," Kurt said with a brave smile. "Are you sure?" Jesse asked. "Yeah," Kurt replied. "But can you promise me one thing?" "Yeah," Jesse said. "Keep Leo safe," Kurt said. "Of course," Jesse said giving Kurt a hug. "I won't let anything happen to him. I promise." "Thank you," Kurt replied, feeling a little better. That night Kurt and Leo had their dinner together. Their last hurrah as roommates. Kurt had BBQ some steaks and they sat at the table making small talk, both not quite sure how to begin to say goodbye to each outer as roommates. "The steak is great," Leo said. "Thanks," Kurt replied. "How was work?" "It was good," Leo replied. "Joey stopped by today." "How's he doing?" Kurt asked. "He's all right," Leo replied. "Good," Kurt said. "How's the apartment? He taking care of it?" "I didn't ask," Leo said. "I'm sure he is though." "Good," Kurt said going back to eating. "How have you been? We haven't really spent much time with other lately," Leo said. "I've been doing all right," Kurt said. "Just work and helping Ryan move." "I was hoping you would help me finish packing the rest of my stuff tonight," Leo said. "Um, sure," Kurt said, "There's actually something I want to talk to you about." "What?" Leo asked. "I wanted to apologize for not being very enthusiastic for you about moving in with Jesse," Kurt said. "This is supposed to be a happy time for you and I've been a jerk about it." "No you haven't," Leo said. "You've just seemed really sad." "And I am," Kurt said. "I'm sad that you're leaving, but I'm also happy for you because you're going to be moving forward with your life with Jesse and that's great." "Really?" Leo asked. "Yes," Kurt said giving Leo a hug. "I want you to be happy and I know I have to let go of my fear of losing you too." "You won't lose me," Leo promised. "Never." "Okay," Kurt smiled. Over at Joey's place, he was pacing back and forth in his room waiting for Hank to come over. He had to talk to him, he had to let him know how he felt. After another five minutes of waiting Hank finally arrived. When Joey let him in, Hank noticed that Joey was a little nervous. "You okay?" Hank asked. "Yeah, I've just been wanting to talk to you," Joey replied. "About what?" Hank asked. "About what you told me last night," Joey replied. "I see," Hank answered, "You can't handle it. I should have known. I'll just leave." Hank then began to head for the door, but Joey quickly stopped him. "Wait," Joey said. "Don't jump to conclusions." "Joey, I understand if you can't handle what I'm going through," Hank said. "It's a lot and it's going to take me a while to get over it." "And I want to be there for you," Joey confessed. "Really?" Hank asked. "Yes," Joey said. "Look, I like you. Me having true feelings for someone is new to me. I have no experience when it comes to relationships, but I want to give it a try with you. And I know you're going through stuff that I may never understand, but I want to be there and support you." This was the first real glimpse of growth that Joey has had since he entered Kurt and Leo's lives. Joey finally knew what it was like to show courage and strength and to be the type of person he hopes to become one day. "You mean it?" Hank asked. "Yes," Joey replied taking Hank into his arms. "I like you. I'm not going anywhere." Hank leaned in and gently kissed Joey on the lips, grateful for him and for being supportive. Later that night Kurt and Leo were sitting in the living room reminiscing about Nick. This was the first time that Kurt would allow himself to really remember Nick and it felt good to him, it felt nice to remember his best friend. "Remember how Nick always got up every single morning at six and would go run three miles to the gym, lift weights and then run back?" Leo asked. "How the hell was he able to do that?" "I know," Kurt laughed, "He was the most dedicated out of us about keeping in shape." "I remember him waking up when we would live together and just think, 'why doesn't he just sleep in a little for once?'" Leo said. "Even if he went to sleep late the night before, he would still get up at six," Kurt said. "He was amazing." "He was crazy," Leo joked. "I wonder what happened with the advice column after he passed away," Kurt said, curious. "You didn't see the memorial issue?" Leo asked. "No," Kurt replied. "Hold on a second," Leo said as he went to one of his boxes he had packed up and pulled out an old newspaper. He handed it to Kurt, "Here." Kurt looked at it and saw in the section that normally had Nick's column was replaced with a memorial to him with little messages written by staff members of the newspaper and avid readers of his column. Kurt was touched by reading some of the messages, it really showed how many people Nick touched in his life. "I'm surprised you never saw this," Leo said. "I wouldn't look at his newspaper since he died," Kurt said. "I didn't want to flip through an issue and not see his column in it." "I see," Leo said. "This is nice," Kurt said admiring the memorial in the newspaper. "Yeah, I think so," Leo said. "You know who I always wonder about?" "Luke?" Kurt guessed. "Yeah," Leo replied. "I hope he's okay." "I think I may know the answer to that," Kurt said getting up from the couch and going into the kitchen to grab some mail. Kurt came back and handed Leo a sealed envelope addressed to both of them. "What's this?" Leo asked. "Look at the return address," Kurt replied. Leo looked and saw that it was from Luke. "When did you get this?" Leo asked. "A few days ago," Kurt replied. "I don't know why I didn't open it when I got it. I guess I was afraid of what it might say." "What do you mean?" Leo asked. "Luke is the only other person who knows the loss that we went through when Nick died," Kurt replied. "I was afraid that in the letter it will say that he's moved on. I didn't want to be the only person who hasn't fully moved on yet." "You're not," Leo assured him. "Let's read it." Leo then opened up the letter and the two of them read it together: 'Dear Kurt and Leo, Sorry I haven't written earlier to let you know how I'm doing. It's still hard for me to face you two. In a way you both are an extension of Nick and to try and get over what happened I tried removing myself from anything that reminded me of him. I've recently came to the realization that I can't just escape him because he's always with me. And I've been selfish because I'm sure you both have been going through similar things. I will say though that I am getting better. The thoughts of Nick in my mind only bring back happy memories for me and I am grateful for the time I had with him. If we do only get one soul mate in our lifetime I know that I'll be one of the lucky ones because I met mine. I hope you both are doing okay as well. Be sure to take care of each other and continue to do great things. Kurt, I hope that you get the writing success you've always dreamed of and Leo, I hope to see you on the big screen some day. I'm doing well in my job down here in San Diego. It's a different environment to be around, but over all I like it. I've made some good friends and hope to one day be open to possibly dating again. I'm not ready yet, but someday I'm sure I will be. I love you both and thank you for not only being such great friends to me, but for being best friends with Nick. He was truly lucky to have the both of you. Take care. Love, Luke.' Kurt and Leo both smiled, happy to hear that Luke was doing all right. The rest of the night Kurt and Leo continued to hang out and enjoy their last night as roommates together. That night when they went to sleep, Kurt had the same reoccurring dream he had ever since Nick died. He parked his car and ran inside the hospital down the endless corridors. Kurt and Leo went to the waiting room where they were instructed to sit and wait until a doctor came to talk to them. Finally after what seemed like an eternity a doctor came up to them. "How is he?" Kurt asked desperately hoping for good news. "I'm sorry guys, but I'm afraid I have to tell you that he passed away. It seems he died before you both arrived to his place," the doctor said. Once Kurt heard those words he felt weak. His whole world came crashing down on him, and then suddenly he couldn't breath. "Kurt?" Leo asked seeing that Kurt was having a hard time breathing, but Kurt couldn't respond he just felt like he was being suffocated. But unlike his other dreams where he would find himself alone, this time Leo was there. "Just breath Kurt," Leo said. "You can get through this. Hold my hand." Kurt took a hold of Leo's hand. He suddenly began to breath again and calm down. "Just take deep breaths," Leo said holding Kurt's hand. He then took Kurt into his arms and hugged him tightly. "Don't worry, you're not alone." This was the first time Kurt had this dream where at the end he actually felt like everything would be okay. And maybe when he woke up, just like his dream, everything would be. The next day came...moving day. The time finally came for Leo and Kurt to say their goodbyes. Leo finished packing the last of his things up in his car and all that was left to do was say bye to Kurt. The two stood quietly in the living room together, both not quite sure how to even begin. "I have something for you," Kurt said and went to his room real quick and came back with a little box of items. Inside the box are cookies (Leo's favorite ones that Kurt makes), books that Kurt has been trying to get Leo to read (Leo hates reading and even though Kurt knew he probably wouldn't read them, he wanted to give them to him just in case), and the one gift in there that is the most important to both Kurt and Leo was a framed picture of the two of them with Nick. "I've never even seen this picture before," Leo said admiring the picture. "It was taken the last time we were with Nick," Kurt said. "Remember when we were helping him pack stuff up and he took that picture?" "Oh yeah," Leo remembered. "I found Nick's camera when we were cleaning some of the stuff up in there to make room for Joey and thought I'd get the pictures developed." Kurt said. "The picture turned out pretty good." "The best picture we've ever taken," Leo smiled as he gave Kurt a hug, truly grateful for the gift. This was yet another reason why Leo knew he was lucky to have Kurt as his best friend, he was thoughtful. "Well, I guess this is it," Kurt said trying his best not to seem too sad about Leo going. He is happy that Leo will be moving in with Jesse, he truly is and he knows that he has to let Leo go. "You know, I'm just moving ten minutes away," Leo said. "So this isn't really goodbye." "I know," Kurt replied, but then smiled, "But it's not next door." Leo saw the sadness in Kurt's eyes. Since hanging out last night Leo got to thinking, maybe he shouldn't leave Kurt just yet. "You know, if you don't want me to go. I'll stay." "No," Kurt replied quickly. He isn't going to allow Leo to let go of his dream on account of him. "You have to go. It's good for you and it will be good for me. I know that. Besides, Ryan's already moved a lot of his stuff in and is using your bedroom for storage." The two shared a brief smile and then were quiet for another couple seconds before Kurt spoke again, "It's just been a lot of change going on lately. A lot." The two both took a minute to remember Nick and everything they lost by losing him. "Kurt, I want to make sure you know something," Leo said beginning to get a little choked up, "I will always be there for you twenty-four hours a day. Whenever you need me. You and I are a team. You're my best friend. That will never change. You're my family." "I know," Kurt smiled, "I just want to make sure that you're safe is all, because you're everything to me." "And you are to me," Leo said. "And I will be safe. I promise." Kurt knew that he was about to cry at any minute, so he quickly rushed Leo to the door. "Get out of here. Go over to your new place." The two share a tight hug with one another, letting each other know how much they love each other. "I'll call you tonight," Leo promised. "I love you." "I love you too," Kurt said. Leo then walked out of the door and Kurt slowly closed it behind him. Kurt rested his head against the door to breath for a few minutes. Leo is now gone from the apartment. To Be Continued... With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Thanks so much!