Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:44:30 -0800 (PST) From: Kirk Landers Subject: Phases- part 48 Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you. Hope everyone is doing well! Here's part 48 entitled, "Living Without You." After this chapter I am planning to write two more chapter and then this story will be complete. It's been a long journey writing this story and I feel it's coming to a point where I want to end it. I hope you've all enjoyed this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. It's been the most fun I've had doing creative writing in a long time and I hope it gave you all something to enjoy to pass the time. 'LIVING WITHOUT YOU' Three weeks have passed and Kurt hasn't spoken one word to Ryan, Leo still has no clue about Jesse losing his job and Jesse hasn't been able to find a new job yet. Ryan's been going crazy trying to fix the mess he made with Kurt, but it's been made clear to him by Kurt that he wants nothing more to do with him. "I know what he did was bad, but you have to see the other side of it," Leo said as Kurt helped him carry in groceries into his kitchen. "Ryan crossed the line," Kurt replied. "It just proves that the idea of him and I trying to be friends was a ridiculous idea. I'm better off with him not in my life." "But he is in your life," Leo pointed out, "You two still share an apartment." "But we don't talk anymore," Kurt said, "Which is all that matters." "I don't see how you two can go on living together and not talk to each other," Leo said taking a seat at the kitchen table to drink a beer. "It's easy," Kurt replied as he opened a can of beer, "We just don't say a word when we're around each other." "What about when we all hang out together?" Leo asked. "Name the last time we all hung out together," Kurt replied. "You're right," Leo realized, "It has been a while." "Exactly," Kurt said. "So I don't think I have to worry about that." "I still think it won't work," Leo said. "I'm going to change the subject now," Kurt said not wanting to talk about Ryan anymore, "How are things now that Mark is back?" "Not as great as I thought they would be," Leo said. "I thought Jesse would lighten up and go back to being his usual self, but he hasn't. He's still down all the time and doesn't talk much. He still doesn't want to plan the wedding." "Really?" Kurt asked surprised. "Yeah," Leo sighed, "I'm starting to think it won't happen." "Don't say that," Kurt said. "You and him have been through so much. You'll get through this too." "I don't know," Leo replied. "He's been so distant. I don't know what to do." "Give it some more time," Kurt suggested. "I've already given it plenty of time," Leo replied. "I think I might be losing him." "You're not losing him," Kurt said, "He loves you." "Well something is wrong and he's not telling me," Leo complained. "I don't know how much longer I can do this." "Come here," Kurt said giving Leo a hug. He knew that Leo wants to be with Jesse more than anything and he's determined to see that his best friend gets what he wants. Meanwhile, Ryan was eating lunch with his dad and talking about his problems with Kurt. "I didn't mean to hurt him," Ryan sighed, "I just really screwed things up." "Try talking to him," Gordon offered. "I have," Ryan said, "But he won't talk to me. He won't give me a chance to explain things to him." "Sounds to me like you're not trying hard enough," Gordon said. "What do you mean?" Ryan asked. "If you want someone to listen, there are plenty of ways to do so," Gordon replied. "You live with him so it should make it that much easier." Ryan stayed quiet, thinking of different ways to get Kurt to listen to him. "Besides," Gordon continued, "I need you and him together in the same room tonight." "Why?" Ryan asked. "You'll see," Gordon replied. "Just tell him that I need you two to be home tonight around seven." "Okay," Ryan agreed, "You're not going to tell me why?" "You'll find out later," Gordon replied. Ryan looked at his father with a raised eye brow, curious to what he had up his sleeve. In the city, Jesse had come out of his fifth job interview he had in a week. Every ad agency he interviewed with he was either under qualified or 'over qualified' (which he hated to hear the most, because how can you be too qualified for a job?). He knew he was smart in putting a good chunk of his pay checks into his savings account when he was working so he had at least two months before Leo would realize that Jesse wasn't bringing home any money anymore. So he had two months to find a job, but already had five interviews and found no success. What if he couldn't find a job in the city? He would have to come clean, Jesse told himself. He knew that if he had to look in another city or worse another state for a job that he had to tell Leo everything. Jesse hated himself, he hated that he had too much pride and humility to tell Leo that he failed and that he was fired. Jesse was convinced that Leo would love him no matter what, but he didn't want any sympathy. He wasn't the type of person who could deal with people giving him pity or sympathy. In order to not get that, he knew the only thing for him to do was to keep on looking for a job and keep on keeping it a secret from Leo. Jesse had his daily routine down to a science now. Every morning he would wake up and get dressed with the appearance of him going to work. He gave Leo a kiss goodbye and then went to the diner where he would call up ad agencies and people he knew in the business and fish around for job openings and lining up interviews. He then would arrange the interviews so he had plenty of time to go from one to the other. When he first started this routine he felt he would only do it for about a few days before some agency would hire him and give him a salary that was comparable to his last job, but this wasn't the case. He found that all his interviews consisted of doubt by the employers. They all wondered why his old agency let him go when he was once such a valuable employee. They didn't want to risk taking a chance on him and finding that he wasn't the valuable advertiser they hoped to get. So they all gave him polite smiles and would end the interview with sentences such as , "We'll let you know," or "We'll call you," or "Well call you if anything opens up," or "You're over qualified." He got a few "under qualified" comments which he didn't mind because at least they told him straight out he wasn't getting the job. As Jesse was walking out to his car he got a phone call from Kurt. Jesse was surprised, it's been a while since him and Kurt talked. Jesse answered the phone with an upbeat, "Hey Bug." He thought that throwing in his old nickname for Kurt would make him sound happier than he was. "Hey, can I meet you for lunch?" Kurt asked. "I guess so," Jesse replied. "Something wrong?" "Sort of," Kurt replied. "I'll come by your office in an hour." "Oh no," Jesse said quickly. He then covered, "I'm about to leave work a little early today anyway. How about we meet at the diner?" "Okay," Kurt said. "See you then." Jesse hung up the phone curious to why Kurt wanted to talk to him. An hour later when Jesse arrived at the diner Kurt was already sitting in a corner booth with a glass of water waiting for him. "Hey," Jesse smiled giving Kurt a hug, "Long time no see. How have you been?" "I'm okay," Kurt replied. "I know things have been tough since Josh died," Jesse said. "I'm sorry I didn't come see you when I found out." "It's fine," Kurt said not wanting to talk about Josh, it was still too tough for him. "I've been distracted lately," Jesse added. "That's what I want to talk to you about," Kurt said. "I just came from hanging out with Leo. He's on to you." "What do you mean?" Jesse asked busted, does Leo know he got fired? "He knows that you're trying to get out of the wedding," Kurt said. "What?" Jesse asked, clearly not aware that Leo felt that way, "I'm not." "That's not what he thinks," Kurt said. "He told me that you've been pulling away from him. He thinks he's losing you." "He's not," Jesse insisted, it pained him to think that Leo really feels that he might not want to be with him anymore. "Leo is the most important person in the world to me." "Then maybe you should show him that," Kurt said. "He shouldn't feel left out like this." "I know," Jesse sighed, "But I've been going through some stuff." "What could you possibly be going through that you can't talk to Leo about?" Kurt asked. "It's complicated," Jesse replied not wanting to say too much. "Then un-complicate it," Kurt said. "Jesse, I love you. You've always been a great friend to me, but I need you to talk to me. What is it you can't tell Leo?" "Aw Bug, it's hard to say," Jesse sighed. "Jesse, Leo is my best friend," Kurt said. "Since Nick died I've been more protective of him than ever, so promise me you're not doing something that can hurt him." "I can promise you that I'm not trying to hurt him," Jesse said. "That's not good enough," Kurt said. "Jesse, whatever you're doing, you need to come clean to Leo. If you hurt him, I'll never forgive you." "Looks like you've been doing a lot of that lately," Jesse shot at Kurt, doing anything to change the subject, even if it meant getting in a fight with him. "What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt asked. "You and Ryan," Jesse replied. "Are you just cutting people out of your life left and right?" "Do you even know what he did?" Kurt asked. "Yeah and frankly I think you're being an ass," Jesse replied. "Don't you see that he only did that because-" "I don't want to hear it," Kurt said getting up. "Oh sure, when it comes to other people you want them to be up front and honest, but when it's yourself you run and hide," Jesse said. "Face it Kurt, you and me, we're the same. So don't tell me what to do until you can face you're own problems." "Fine," Kurt said giving up, "Do what you want. But if Leo gets hurt then I want you gone. I want you no where near him because he deserves someone who will be honest with him." Kurt and Jesse have never fought before, even when Jesse and Leo broke up years ago the two stayed close with one another. Neither one of them wanted to fight with each other, but neither one wanted to deal with what they were going through either. That afternoon when Jesse got home he saw Leo sitting on the couch sleeping. He went and sat on the couch next to Leo and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead. He had to say the words out loud just to see what it would sound like if he came clean. "Leo, I have to tell you something," Jesse said quietly, "I lost my job a while ago and have been lying to you. I've been going on job interviews and haven't found anything and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do." Leo quietly stirred and slowly opened his eyes. Jesse looked at Leo in a panic, did he hear him? "Leo? You awake?" Jesse asked worried. "Hi," Leo smiled, "Did you say something earlier?" "No," Jesse covered, "I didn't. I just got home." "Oh," Leo sighed. He then changed the subject. "So remember when I had that meeting with Golden Treasures Productions?" "That small film company?" Jesse asked. "Yeah," Leo replied. "You interviewed for that internship right?" Jesse asked. "Yeah," Leo replied. "Well, they called me and asked if I was still interested in interning with them." "Oh?" Jesse asked surprised. "Why did it take them so long to get back to you?" "I guess they had over three hundred candidates for only five internships available," Leo explained, "So they finally decided and I'm one of them." "That's great," Jesse said giving Leo a kiss. "So how much does it pay?" "Well, that's the thing," Leo replied. "It's a non-paying internship, but it's a six month long internship and if they like me they said there is an employment opportunity." "Wow," Jesse said trying to sound excited, but knew that a non-paying internship would really hurt the both of them since neither one would be bringing in an income. "I know it's going to be a little tight if I quit my job at the Center and take the internship, but it's a step in the right direction for me I think," Leo said. "And besides, you don't really seem to be into doing the wedding anytime soon, so now we don't have to. We can just wait until I get a job with the company and then we can start planning the wedding." "What makes you think I don't want to plan the wedding?" Jesse asked. "Well, you haven't done anything," Leo replied. "I've tried to go over stuff with you, but you never seem interested. So now you don't have to, not for a little while longer anyway." "But I do want to plan it," Jesse said covering. He knew it was horrible, but if he could just get Leo to keep his job at the Center a little longer it would give him more time to find a job. "Since when?" Leo asked. "Since always," Jesse replied. "Come on, let's plan it now." "Jesse, we can't now," Leo replied. "With me taking the internship we won't have the money to do it now." "So you're really taking the internship?" Jesse asked. "Yeah," Leo replied. "Don't you think I should?" Jesse looked Leo in the eyes and saw how much Leo wanted this opportunity, he couldn't say no. "Absolutely," Jesse replied. "You're right, we can plan the wedding later." "Perfect," Leo said, he really wanted to do the internship, but at the same time was a bit sad that the wedding was now postponed for another six months at least. Jesse meanwhile, started to panic, he now realized that he didn't have the time he thought he would have to find a job. He needed one, now. Kurt came home around seven. Ryan was sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner. Kurt barely glanced at Ryan before heading to his bedroom. "Wait," Ryan said stopping Kurt. "My dad is going to be here in any second and he wants to talk to you and me." "Me?" Kurt asked, "Why?" "I don't know," Ryan replied. "But he said it's important." "Fine," Kurt said taking a seat in the living room to wait. "So how was your day?" Ryan asked trying to make small talk. "Seriously?" Kurt asked annoyed that Ryan even thought he could talk to him. "Never mind," Ryan rolled his eyes. The two sat quietly waiting for Ryan's dad to show up. Kurt glanced over at Ryan and for the first time since he met him he didn't see the man he loved so much for so long, he didn't see the person he trusted more than anyone, he didn't see the man he felt safest with, instead all he saw was the man who hurt him so deeply and who did something completely unforgivable. Maybe it was what Kurt needed, he thought. Maybe this is what he needed to finally move on from Ryan completely. After another couple minutes of silence there was a knock on the door. The two both took a sigh of relief that the silence was interrupted. When Ryan opened the door he was surprised to not only see his dad, but Kurt's mom, Monica. "Hey Ryan," Monica said giving Ryan a hug. "Hey Monica," Ryan said surprised, "What are you doing here?" "Your father and I came together," Monica replied. "You did?" Ryan asked confused. "Mom?" Kurt asked surprised giving her a hug, "I didn't know you would be here." "Well, Gordon and I wanted to talk to the both of you," Monica said. Kurt greeted Gordon with a hug and the four of them all sat in the living room together. Gordon and Monica sat close to one another facing Ryan and Kurt who sat on the same couch as far away from each other as possible. "What's going on?" Ryan asked. "Well, your father and I have some news for you," Monica replied. "Kurt, Ryan, I asked Monica to marry me and she said 'yes,'" Gordon announced. "What?" Kurt and Ryan both asked in alarm at the same time. Kurt looked at his mom's ring finger on her left hand and sure enough there was a big diamond ring. It was at least three carats. "I didn't even know you two were dating," Kurt said. "Now we know it's sudden," Gordon said. "Really sudden," Ryan added. "But we know it's right and at our age we figure, why wait?" Monica said. "How long have you two been dating?" Kurt asked. "Since we met each other on Thanksgiving," Monica replied. "And you never told me?" Kurt asked, "We tell each other everything Mom." "I didn't want to say anything until I knew it was right," Monica replied. "So how about some champagne?" Gordon asked. Gordon and Monica went to the kitchen and Monica found a bottle of champagne in the refrigerator. Walking over Kurt turned to Ryan angry. "Did you know this and not say anything?" Kurt whispered. "Of course not," Ryan snapped back. "Besides, even if I did I wouldn't have been able to tell you because you don't want me talking to you." "Shut up," Kurt said. When the two were within hearing distance from Monica and Gordon they both put on a fake smile on their face and accepted the glasses of champagne that Monica handed them. "So, a toast to extending the family," Gordon said raising his glass, "I thought I was lucky enough to get my son back and now I'm lucky to add a wife to the picture too." "Congratulations Dad," Ryan said giving his father a hug. "And we have a huge favor to ask of you," Monica said to the boys. "We want you to help us plan the wedding in three weeks." "Three weeks?" Kurt asked, "Why so soon?" "Well, we're both older and don't want to have a big elaborate ceremony so we saw no point in waiting," Monica replied. "So will the two of you work together and help us out?" Kurt and Ryan both looked at each other knowing this was not going to be a fun experience for either one of them. The next day, Kurt came out of his room in the morning and went into the kitchen to get coffee where Ryan was already waiting for him. "So what are we going to do?" Ryan asked. "We have to plan this thing together." "Yeah," Kurt replied pouring himself a cup of coffee. "It's going to be hard to do this if you don't talk to me," Ryan said. Kurt stood quietly, his back turned from Ryan, thinking how he was going to be able to do this. How was he going to plan a wedding with Ryan? "Kurt, how many times do I have to apologize to you before you start to believe me?" Ryan asked. "We can't plan a wedding like this." "Fine," Kurt said turning to face Ryan, "We'll set up some rules." "Rules?" Ryan asked curiously. "Yeah," Kurt answered, "We'll set up rules. Here's the deal, if we have to talk to each other, it will only be about wedding details. Nothing else. No small talk. No more apologies that are meaningless. Nothing. Just wedding details. Agreed?" "Agreed," Ryan shrugged. "Okay then," Kurt said. "Well, I'll make a list of stuff for us to do and we'll split it up evenly and go from there." "Sounds good," Ryan said. Kurt started to head back to his room when Ryan spoke again, "Kurt, I really want to talk about Josh." Kurt sharply turned to face Ryan with a look of hurt in his eyes. "One more rule," Kurt said. "Never say his name again." Kurt then turned back and went to his room. Ryan put his face in his hands, defeated. Will Kurt ever forgive him? Two weeks passed and Leo was starting his internship with Golden Treasures. That morning he woke up extra early, too excited to sleep any longer. He showered and got dressed in his best work clothes. While he was in the bedroom getting ready Jesse was in the kitchen on the phone with Robin, a former co-worker of his. "So I fished around for you and found you something," Robin said. "What?" Jesse asked excited. "What is it?" "It's about the same thing you did when you worked here and the pay is around the same," Robin replied. "Can you set up an interview?" Jesse asked anxious. "No need," Robin replied. "They said they would hire you. I gave you a good reference." "Robin, thank you," Jesse said. "You are saving my ass." "There's a catch though," Robin replied. "What is it?" Jesse asked. "It's not here," Robin replied. "It's not in LA?" Jesse asked, "That's okay. I can deal with that." "No," Robin replied. "I don't think you really understand. It's not in the state." "Whoa Robin," Jesse sighed. He knew it was too good to be true. "It's in Chicago," Robin replied. "Robin, how am I supposed to do that?" Jesse asked. "Hey, it's all I could find," Robin replied. Before Jesse could respond Leo came out of the bedroom all dressed for his internship. Jesse saw the excitement in Leo and knew that the only way Leo could continue with this internship is if Jesse had a job. "I'm going to get going," Leo said giving Jesse a kiss. "I'll see you tonight." Leo then excitedly walked out of the apartment leaving Jesse a moment to think things over. He knew he had to take the job. He just didn't know how he was going to pull it off yet. What was he going to tell Leo? It didn't matter right now. All that mattered was that he was working, and if this was his only option, it's what he had to do. "So what do you say?" Robin asked. "I'll take it," Jesse replied. Later that day, Kurt had left speaking with the caterers about the wedding and was overwhelmed. It wasn't the wedding he was overwhelmed with, it was working with Ryan that has been stressing him so much. Every day for the past two weeks the two have been working side by side, doing everything from picking out the perfect cake, meeting with the florist, working out the menu for the food, one thing after another he was side by side with Ryan. Finally, he reached a point where he needed to get away. He needed to see someone, he needed to escape Ryan and he could only thing of one place to go. As he walked up the familiar driveway all he could think about was escaping. And he knew this person would give him that escape he needed. When he was in front of the door he knocked cautiously and waited. A few moments passed and he heard the door unlock and open. "Hey," Kurt said. "Hi," Gab replied, surprised to see Kurt standing in front of him. "Can I come in?" Kurt asked. "Yeah, sure," Gab replied opening the door up for Kurt to enter. Kurt walked inside and Gab closed the door behind him. To Be Continued... With any comments, questions or feedback, please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Thanks so much! My best!