Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2001 11:34:57 -0400
From: berthusa@netscape.net
Subject: Rediscovering Friendship 4

Thanks for the e-mails regarding this story. Sorry it's taking so long, but
I'm a novice writer.

This story will probably be pretty slow to develop. It's a mixture of
reality and what was fantasy on my part. It'll eventually include sex
between consenting adult males. If that's offensive, or if it is not legal
for you to read it, please don't.

The story also takes place right before awareness of the horror of AIDS.


While walking home, I took a little time to think about how things had
developed. I'd at least suspected for a time that my attractions ran toward
guys. I wasn't sure how I felt about that; on one hand it seemed to me that
I should be fine with it, and allow myself to love whoever was right. On
the other hand, I was a little bit scared. I didn't want to be known as
someone who was different. In my high school, some of the harshest barbs
you throw at another guy would be to call him a fag. I think that's where
some of my concern came from.

Now, a really good friend of mine said that he thought he loved me. That
made me feel really good, but I was a little confused by it. Kris had
always been highly sought after by the roving packs of girls at
school. He'd dated a few, but now that I thought about it, he never seemed
to stick with one girl for very long.

I didn't have much sorted out by the time I got home.

"You're late."

"I know, mom. I guess time got away from me. I was working on my homework
and helping Kris out with his."

"How's Kris doing?"

"Pretty good, I guess. He still gets tired pretty easy and had to rest
quite a bit. Other than that, he looks pretty good."

"I'm so glad. Tell him I send my best next time you see him."

"I'll tell him tomorrow. The teachers at school want me to drop off his
homework and bring in what he's finished. So I guess I'll be stopping by
almost every day."

"Well, just keep in mind that I'd like you home by 10:30, OK?"

"I'll try. G'night, mom."

"Goodnight."

For someone with such a jumble of thoughts and feeling roiling around, I
slept surprisingly well. It seemed like I fell asleep as soon as my head
hit the pillow, and the next thing I knew, the alarm was going off again.

I started a day that would become somewhat routine over the next few
months. I'd head off to school like usual, but at the end of the day I'd
head over to Kris' and give him the latest assignments and pick up what
he'd finished from the day before. I also answered as many questions as I
could for him. For a while, it was like nothing extraordinary had happened
between us. Mid-March changed the routine a bit, though.

"Hey, Mrs. K. How's Kris doing today?"

"Well, I think he's a bit upset, actually. His doctor came for a checkup
today, and Kris has been keeping to himself a bit. Why don't you go up and
see him? He always seems to do better when you're here."

"OK. I'll let you know what I find out."

Up the stairs to Kris' room. A couple of knocks in the usual fashion. And
nothing. A couple of more knocks and "Kris? You alright?"

"Yeah. Come on in, Dan."

He was lying on his bed, but he looked a million miles away--I could see
right away that something was bothering him. "What's up?"

"I'm not too sure. The doctor came in to look me over today. He said that
I'm doing better than he'd expected. And then he said he thought that some
new surgical technique could fix the problem I have so that I wouldn't have
to worry about having another heart attack. Well, not for a long time,
anyway."

"That's great! It sounds perfect. So what's bugging you?"

"Well, the doctor said that there was a chance that the surgery could be
dangerous."

"How dangerous?"

"Enough to do permanent damage or there was even a chance I wouldn't
survive the operation."

"Oh."

"You know, it's weird. All this time I've known about my condition, and
I've been Ok with it. Now, there's a chance that I can get better or a
chance I could die, and that scares me. I haven't been this scared before
in my life."

"So the doctor told you about a couple of possibilities. Did he give you
any odds or ballpark guesses?"

"He said that since the technique he's looking at is so new, he thought
there could be as high as a 30 percent chance of permanent damage. A
smaller chance of me keeling over on the operating table."  "So what do you
think? Are you going to do it?"

"I have to talk to my parents. Since it's a new procedure, they're not sure
that insurance'll pay for it. He said if I chose to go ahead with it and
have it done at the University, there would probably be no cost."

"What's the outlook if you nothing?"

"Well, I'd go on like I have been. I could have a heart attack again at any
time. That's what I'm used to now. I don't know if I like the idea of dying
on an operating room table. I don't know what to do."

Then my heart broke a little as he started to cry. I knew I couldn't say
any of the usual things like ‘I know how you feel' because I
didn't. I wasn't born with a medical condition that could have fatal
consequences at any moment. I'd never had to weigh the potential benefit
over risks of a new medical procedure. All I could do was hold him, and
that's what I did.

"What am I going to do, Dan? I don't want to die."

"I don't know what to tell you. You've been living a certain way for your
whole life. Now somebody tells you that it's possible to change all
that. It's got to be frightening. But it's not a sure thing that you'd
die." I hugged him a little closer.

It was at that moment that there were two sharp raps on his bedroom door
and his brother Kevin walked in.

"Well isn't this cute? Is the little baby sad?"

"Get lost, Kev."

"You're such a baby! What the fuck are you crying about now?"

"You're such a dick. How can you be so cruel to your brother. Hasn't he had
enough crap in his life?"

Then Kris spoke up and told his brother about the doctor's visit.

"Have you told mom and dad yet?"

"No."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I wanted to think about it first. I don't know what to do."

"I can tell you what to do. Get the surgery. Get better. Get on with your
life."

"That's easy for you to say. You're not the one that has to go through
it. And worry about not waking up from surgery."

"You're right. I don't have to go through it. You do. But you don't have to
go through it alone. Mom and dad will be there. I'll be there. My guess is
Dan will be there, too."

Was a soft side showing through on big, bad Kevin? I'd only seem him cut
his brother down up until now. Nothing major, probably just the typical
brotherly barbs.

Kevin continued "You know, this has been hard on everybody. Mom was so
scared after your heart attack that she cried for days while you were in
the hospital. Dad told me that he hated not being able to do anything for
you. And I was worried that I wouldn't have my little brother to boss
around any more."

"I had no idea you cared."

"Well, it's not like I'm gonna advertise to the world that I'm worried
about my baby brother."

"Ok, little brother I can live with. Don't call me your baby brother."

Kevin actually smiled. "Whatever. I think it's time we had a family
meeting, don't you?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Let's do it after dinner."

"Hang in there. And try not to worry so much."

After Kevin left, I asked Kris how he was feeling.

"A little better now. I didn't know about how everyone felt. When I left
the hospital, mom had on the brave face the whole time. Dad almost never
talked to me about what happened, and Kevin was just as big a jerk as he
always was."

"I think you're lucky to have a family that cares so much about you. Even
your brother."

"Thanks. I'm lucky to have a good friend, too. Would you be there if I had
the surgery?"

"Absolutely. If you wanted me, I'd be there as long as you needed."

Tears started to well up in his eyes again, so I wrapped my arms around
him. He looked right into my eyes, and he still looked scared. I leaned in
and whispered in his ear "Try not worry. Don't make yourself crazy over
this. Everything could turn out fine."

He nuzzled his face closer into my neck. The sobbing slowly subsided.

"Think we should take a whack at some homework?"

"God. I'm here thinking about life and death and you're worried about
homework?"

"I'm not worried about it. Mine's already done today. But I thought you
said you wanted to graduate with everyone else. If you fall behind, that's
not going to happen."

"Yes, boss. Let's get to it."

We'd been working for about an hour, and it was dinner time. When Kris' mom
came up to tell us, he said he'd like to eat downstairs with the
family. His mom brightened up.

"That's great honey. Come on down when you're ready."

"Thanks, mom."

After she left, I told Kris that I thought maybe I should leave.

"What? Why?"

"Well, because you're going to be discussing some pretty major issues with
your family, and I'm afraid I'd either be a fly on the wall or a
distraction."

"It'd make me feel better if you're there. I always feel better when you're
around."

There was a little flutter in my stomach. "Alright, if it'll make you feel
better, I'll stick around."

I did feel a little out of place during the discussion, but I was glad the
family trusted me enough to include me.  Well, since I didn't actually talk
a whole lot, at least let me observe.

"Then it's decided" said Kris' dad "you'll go ahead and have the surgery,
and we'll all be there for you. I'll call the doctor tomorrow and let him
know what we've decided."

"Thanks, everybody. I feel a lot better now."

"You know, you didn't have to keep this to yourself for so long. We're your
family, and we'll try to support you in whatever you do. When things are
scary, I'd hope you'd share it with us. You don't have to be scared all by
yourself."

"Thanks, dad. Sorry."

"Not a problem."

When the family meeting broke up, Kris and I went back up to his room.

"Thanks for sticking around."

"Anything for you, mister."

We were standing near his bed and I leaned in to give him a hug. My lips
sought out his, and we had a long passionate kiss. My tongue broke through
the barrier of his lips and darted around. I could feel him getting hard
against my leg. He was wearing a t-shirt and his sweats. While my right
hand went around the back of his neck, my left hand went down to his crotch
and grabbed him. Kris let out a moan. I started rubbing his dick and he got
even harder. We kept on making out for what seemed like forever when I led
him to his bed. We laid down together. I kept up with my roving hand, but
now I became bolder and pulled down his sweats. He was wearing his typical
Calvin Klein briefs, and I noticed a widening wet spot. I concentrated
there and rubbed the head of his cock through his briefs.

"So the doctor said you were doing better than expected, right?"

"Yeah" he whispered back.

"Good."

I put my hand inside his briefs and grabbed him. I used my thumb to rub the
head. His precum was leaking fast and furious. I spread it around the
entire head.

"These things gotta go" I told him.

He lifted his butt a little as I pulled his briefs over his hips, down past
his knees, finally past his ankles and then all the way off. My hand went
back up to his cock, and I flat handed it and rubbed it up against his
belly. His cock was about six inches long, and he was circumcised. To me,
it was perfect. I rested my head on his stomach then started licking his
belly button. He moaned again, a bit louder than the last time. I used my
tongue to follow the trail of hair that started right below his
navel. Lower and lower I licked and then I took his cock in my mouth. He
took in a breath in a loud gasp.

"God. I've only cum during dreams lately. This feels incredible."

I didn't take the time to reply. I used my tongue like I'd used my thumb
earlier. I swirled it around the head and followed his piss slit. I applied
just a bit more pressure there. The precum kept flowing, and mixing with my
saliva, I soon had most of his cock slicked up. I took him as far into my
throat as I could. The more times I repeated it, the further I could take
him. Soon my nose was in his pubes. My hands began stroking and rubbing him
all over. From his nipples down to his abdomen. Then I started to rub his
butt. His breathing started coming faster and he was hitching his breath a
bit when he inhaled. Since he didn't discourage my wandering hands, I began
to rub along his asscrack all the while sucking him fervently. When I
concentrated on his hole, he started moaning again. Then I stuck my index
finger inside and he started to cum. Lots and lots. There was no way I
could keep up with it. I tried, but some still trickled out the sides of my
mouth.  !  When his orgasm subsided, I licked the head clean. Then released
him.

"How was that?"

"Incredible. I can't believe it. Come here."

I scooted up higher on the bed and we kissed.