Date: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 22:37:12 -0800 (PST)
From: Rommel Ronsairo <rmlrnsr_8@yahoo.com>
Subject: researching my sexuality 3

Provision: The story involves sexual interaction between consenting male
adults, contains words that are not suitable for minors and is intended for
mature reading only.  If you are either offended or against by the contents
of this story; or if you are a MINOR, please STOP reading now. This story
is purely fictional and implies no specific knowledge of the celebrities
who are described.

Researching my sexuality -- Part3

I can't take my eyes off of him. It's like I'm being hypnotize. The
confidence I built inside me was not enough. He is so darn good-looking
wearing that black suit. His smile gets wider. "Are you ready to go?"
he asked.
No words came out of my mouth though.
"Are you going to invite me in first, Eric?" he asked again and then
gives my shoulder a little squeezed.
That sends a shock and helped to bring me back to reality. "Yes, of
course, come in." I scratch my forehead to hide my embarrassment.
"Have a sit. Can I offer you anything?" I asked
"No, thank you, I'm fine. This is a nice place by the way. Do you live
here by yourself?" he asked
"Yes, my folks are leaving just 10 miles away though." I answered.
"Oh, that's good then." I heard him said.
I nodded while I was looking at floor. I'm trying to avoid looking
directly at him. I still can't believe what happened earlier. It was
worse than what happened during my first conversation with him and Cyril.
There was a moment of silence and then he broke it when he asked if I was
OK. I looked at him and saw him tilts his head a little, I guess he's
still waiting for my response, so I told him, "Ah, yes, I was just
thinking if I put my samples back inside the Lab cooler." That was not
entirely true but in a way it is. I was really thinking about it, but
that was when I was driving home from work.
 "Oh," he nodded and then smiled again.
"Let me just get my coat and then we can go." I smiled back at him and
excused myself to go to the bedroom

Get a grief, Eric; I told myself while looking for a coat that would
match what I'm already wearing. I wasn't really planning to wear a coat
but after seeing Lee, I realized that I have to wear one.  Looking,
looking, and finally, found the one that I like. I unfolded the sleeves
of my shirt, button them, and put the coat on, "Yeah, that's good
enough." I told myself while standing in front of the mirror. I'm just
trying to give my self-esteem a little boost. I'm going to need it, plus
it'll help get rid of the nervousness that I'm feeling. I hope.

"You look very good tonight, Eric." Lee commented while driving.
"Thank you, so do you; it's quite a transformation." I said while
looking at him. He gave me glance and smile.
He put his full concentration on the road since there was a little
traffic, nothing unusual on a Friday night. When we passed that, he asked
me if I like listening to music. I said, "Yes."
"What kind? Hip-hop, heavy metal, rap..." he was guessing.
That made me smile. "No, I like soft music, ballads."
"Really, so do I. So, you wouldn't mind if I play this one." He turn
on his car's CD player and then Nat King Cole started singing the song
L-O-V-E. "L is for the way you look at me..."
"This is not too old for you, is it?" he asked
"No, not at all. I like Nat King Cole." I told him. He looked at me,
and smiled. He seems pleased to hear that.
We both listen, and enjoy the music for a while.
"That's one of my favorites," he said after the song ended.
"It's one of his best." I said and then looked at him. He nodded in
agreement.
"You haven't told me yet where we're going." I asked
"It's a surprise, you'll like it there. I've only been there twice,
but I loved it," he said. "I was actually thinking of going back," he
added. "For a while there seems to be no reason to..." the smile on his
face faded away.
That was the first time I saw a glimpse of sadness in his face. Lee, like
Steve is a very nice person. He likes to laugh and makes people laugh. So
after seeing those smiles fade away, I realize that there's something
more about Lee that I would like to know. I just hope that I will get a
chance to.
"...Until now" he continued and then smiled at me. "Here we are!"

"I'll just have mineral water with lime."  I told the waiter. The
waiter then turns to Lee, "same for me."
"Sorry Lee, I don't drink, although you can if you want to."  I told
him
He smiled and said "Only if you agreed to drive me home and stay at my
place overnight."
I could feel my face turning red; I forgot that he's the one who's
driving. I grin to hide my embarrassment and said, "I forgot that
you'll be driving."
I look around the place and concur that it is a nice place, very cozy.
There's what looks like a classical band playing soft music. There's
also something else that I noticed, most if not all of the guests are
men. This can't be the elegant version of a sports bar, plus there's no
TV.
"I want you to be at ease, Eric, to enjoy our time together. That's why
I chose this place. I hope you're not upset." he then hold my right
hand. That action sends shocks again to my entire body.
I now realized then that we're in a gay restaurant, if there's such
thing.
"Are all these men, g-g-gay?" I asked him
He looked at me and then down on the table before he nodded.
Well, at least now I know I was right. He knows.
"Eric, are you OK?" he asked me when I sit there silently for a while.
I nodded, "Yes. How about you?"
"Honestly, relieved. I know that I don't have the right to out you this
way. It's just that I really wanted you to have a wonderful time and not
be afraid to show who you are," he looks very sincere. Another thing
about him that I didn't know before, he is very gentle and
compassionate.
I smiled at him and asked, "You're really OK with this? You don't
think of me any less after this confirmation?"
"Why should I, you're still the same person; sweet and caring." he
then gave my hand a little squeeze. I didn't even realize that he
hasn't let go of my hand yet until that time.
I smiled at him. Now more than ever, I know that I truly love this man.
We chatted in between the spoon and fork. I told him something about
myself first and then asked about him. I found out that he is now 47. And
that he was a Fireman before he started working in our company. After he
moved from the east coast, he took the first job offer that he got; which
is the one he has right now. He also mentioned that he has 2 kids, who
are both married, and living back east. The only one thing that he
didn't mention is wife. I didn't ask him though; I don't want him to
think that I'm prying too much.
"So, you're 27, you look younger than your age." he said
"I'll take that as compliment, although sometimes I am thinking that
it's a polite way of saying I'm too short for my age." I smiled at
him. He smiled too.
I continue and said, "You're the one who look much younger than your
age."
"Really? How young?" he asked
"Like in the early 30's" I answered which made him blush. He looked
down at the table. He didn't realize that that made him more adorable.

"Gentlemen, this is our guests night. So, for anyone who would sing a
song for our pleasure, you and your party's dinner will be free of
charge, on the house," an older gentleman in the white suit announced.
"However, if it's a torture listening to your voice, then you will be
charged double." Everybody started laughing. Lee told me that he is the
owner, and that he's also gay.
I was looking around, waiting for anyone to stand up. When I didn't see
anyone, I stood up, looked at Lee and excuse myself. He is completely
surprise at what I am doing.
"We have one courageous guest, Gentlemen." I heard the owner said and
then claps his hands along with the other guests.
I walk towards the small stage to where the band is and the owner greeted
me.
"And your name young man?" he asked with a smile
"Eric." I answered and smiled back at him
"Everybody, let's give Eric a big hand." he said before leaving the
stage.
I talked to the leader of the band whose playing the piano and told him
what song I'll be singing. He nodded and then directed his group.
I hold the microphone and heard the band started playing the intro of the
song L-O-V-E. I looked at where Lee is sitting and saw him smiling after
he realizes what I'll be singing.
    I looked directly at him and started singing "L is for the way you look
                     at me. O is for the only one I see."


     His smile got wider. I myself was very surprise, it seems like all my
    inhibitions were thrown out the window. I guess the happiness that I'm
                          feeling overcome my shyness.


    I put all my emotions into the song. I didn't mention it but I want him
                   to feel that the song is dedicated to him.



After the song, I heard everyone clapping and some even whistling and
shouting "more". I just motion my hand to courteously deny the request.
I don't think I can do it again. It's a good thing, a very good thing
that my voice didn't crack. It wasn't the first time I sang in public
but every time was nerve racking.
"Now, wasn't that a treat? Let's give him a big hand again,
everybody." The owner said and then started clapping. "Thank you, Eric
and as promised you and your party's dinner is free."
I went back to our table and Lee stood up to greet me back.
"That was wonderful! You didn't tell me you have such good voice," he
said with a big smile.
"You didn't ask?" I smiled back at him. "You really think it was
good?" I asked him
"It's more than good, it's quite a performance." he compliments
"Thanks, I'm glad you liked it." I looked at him and saw what looks
like an admiration in his eyes.

We left around 11PM and drove back to my place.
I unlocked the door, opened it and said, "Thanks, for everything Lee. I
had a wonderful time."
"I'm glad." he smiled and then looked at me a little different this
time. "Tell me, what made you sing in front of all those people and why
did you choose that song?"
I looked at him and was thinking if I should tell him the truth. I'm not
sure I can. I don't want to risk losing our friendship, especially since
we've become closer now.
I smiled at him and said, "Well, it saved me some money and..." I pause
for a while. "I sort of practiced that song already on our way there."
"Oh," he nodded. He looked very disappointed. "I thought that..."
he's now the one who pause.
"Yes?" I wanted him to say it, to say the words I can't say.
"Nothing, it's just a silly thought. Never mind." he looked away from
me
We were standing in there for maybe five minutes or so without even
saying a single word to each other. I guess both of us are waiting for
each other to make the first move.
I don't have the courage, and he probably doesn't have it either.
"Well, I guess I should get going," he said. "I had a great time too,
Eric. I enjoyed your company very much."
"Same here," it was the best night of my life, I wanted to add but too
shy to say it.
Lee squeezed my shoulder again and said, "Don't forget to lock your
door," he reminded me.
"I won't, thanks." Lee turn around and started walking back to his
car.
"Hey, Lee..." he turn around waiting for what I'm going to say next.
"Take care and drive safe."
Somehow those last words brought a little smile back to his face. "I
will."
I just stood there until I can't see his car anymore. I went inside the
house, locked the door as he reminded me and then lean on it. "Why
can't I find the courage to say what I think both of us wanted to
hear?" I asked myself. I think I'm being too cautious, too afraid to
lose what I have with him. What ever happens next, this is an evening to
remember. It's romantic, and beautiful.


To be continued...
I welcome any comments rmlrnsr_8@yahoo.com