Date: Tue, 17 Feb 2004 13:54:00 -0500
From: lgastvndve@yahoo.com
Subject: Reunion of Love chpt 3

"Get away Get away Get away."

"Wake up Ben please wake up your dreaming it isnt real.  Wake up Wake up."

"Please get away don't hurt me don't hurt."

"Shh baby baby it is only a dream but you must wake up now. It will be
alright I am here with you."

When I finally woke up from my nightmare I was soaked in sweat and was
crying.  I saw Johnathan next to me looking so scared and sad.

"Baby you are awake.  Are you okay?"  Johnathan asked.

"Yes I think I am now it was just a nightmare."

"I knew we shouldn't have done what we did last night you just were not
ready for that yet.  I should have said no to you made you go back to your
room. I thought maybe you were ready but I guess deep down I knew you
werent yet. I know there are so think that you still need to work out."

"Baby I wanted what happened last night to happen.  I thought I was ready
but you are right I guess I should have waited a little long to make sure.
I just got home and saw you in here and I knew I wanted to be with you.  I
wanted to feel you in me feel you making love to me.  But do not blame y
ourself it is not your fault that I had that nightmare."

"Ben baby I am not so sure.  You have never had a nightmare like that since
the incident.  You have never woken up screaming.  I was just so scared."

"First of all how do you know that that was the first nightmare that I have
had?  Second of all I love you so much it hurts."

"I know it was your first night mare like that because I use to come into
your room and watch you sleep after the incident to make sure you were
okay.  You had small nightmares I could tell by the way you thrashed in
your sleep but never anything that serious. I kow you are probably going to
be mad that I was watching you but I needed to do that. I would always
leave the next morningbefore you got up so you wouldn't see me and be
scared.  It was also that only way I could be that close to you with out
you getting freaked out and keeeping me at arms length.

I walked over to Johnathan who at this had been pacing the room.  I walked
up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him to me.

"I am not mad at you for sitting in my room at nights while I slept.  You
make me feel so loved that I am so sorry for the way that I treated you
those months I kept you at arms length and wouldn't let you touch me."

I leaned in to kiss him but he pulled away from me. I looked at him not
understanding why he did that. I thought maybe he didn't want to be with me
anymore that he couldn't take my drama, and all that was happening to me.
He must have seem the look of fear and sadness n my eyes when he pulled
away cause he gently rubbed my cheek and pulled me to the bed to lay down
with him.

"Ben I need you to tell me why you felt you had to keep me at arms
length. I need to you tell me what has been going on in your head since the
incident.  I know you are talking to someone but you have never let me in,
and I want to know alittle so I can help you.  We are going to lay here
with me holding you so you feel safe but please try and talk to me just a
little."

I nodded at Johnathan.  I just sat there for what seemed like hours holding
him.  I just did not know what to say to him.  I knew I did need to talk to
him a little bit cause it wasn't fair to ask him to stay with me when I
wouldn't give him any reason as to way I couldn't hold him for that long.
I needed to tell him what kind of things went on in my head.  I guess I was
just afraid that he would getscared and run away.

"Johnathan I am gong tgo try to tell you some of the things in my head. But
I will tell you one of the biggest reasons as to why I kept you so far away
with me at the time when you just wanted to help me and be ther efor me."

"There are two reason why I kept you at arms length. The first reason is
that I was scared to be held every time you wanted to hold I just kept
thinking back to the moment I was hurt and it scared me.  I knew you were
not going to hurt me but I was still scared. I just couldn't get the man
that hurt me out of my head.  I guess everytime you were near me touching
me I flashed back to that night and then couldn't let you touch me. I know
it wasn't fair to you but it was how I felt.  I am so sorry that I did
that.

Johanthan just sat their looking at me tears were starting to form in his
eyes.  I wiped them away and then asked him if he still wanted to know
more.  He just nodded yes so I continued.

"Well the second reason is that I was afraid that you were going to leave
me because of this or that something bad was gong to happen to you.  I knew
deep down inside that you werent going to leave me but I gues part of me
thought you would.  I just didn't more bad things to happen to me because I
just couldn't take it anymore. I thought if I kept you away a little if you
did chose to leave then it wouldn't hurt as much.  I now know that was
stupid but it is how I felt at the time.  I just could not bare losing you.
I lost you once and I didn't want to lose you again now that I had you
back.  I love you so much.  I now know you are never leaving me and that we
can face things together, or at least we have to try to face things
together because if we don't one of us will leave.  I love you sweetie
please."

I had holding back tears through all of this but when I finished and looked
at Johnathan cryhing I just couldn't hold them back anymore.  I started to
cry and cry.  Johnathan just held me for a few minutes before he finally
spoke.  When he finally spoke it was in a whisper I had to strain to here.

"Baby I am glad that you finally told me why you needed to hold me away
like that.  I just wish you could have told me then.  But I do understand
why you did not.  I guess if I was in your place I might have done the same
thing.  I want you to kmow that I am never going to leave you no matter
what so please do not think that way anymore.  Please don't push me away
anymore either.  What ever needs to be worked out we will work out
together.  Please just let me love you, and hold you."

"Oh Johnathan I love you to."

"Ben you do not have to tell me anymore of the incident and after if you do
not want to.  I realized I am asking you to much by asking you to do that
right away."

"John I am going to tell you all that I can. You will just need to be
patient while I tell you it make take a while. Just hold me while I do tell
you."

For the next few hours I told Johnathan al that I could about the incident
he just sat there and held onto me never speaking just holding and lightly
kissing my cheek when I stoped to cry.  It was all that I could ask for,
and I knew now that I was going to be okay with him now.

When I finished I got up and stood in front of Johnathan and asked him to
make love to me again.  He looked at with a worried looked so I just told
him pleasd I need you to do this now.  I need to feel the love yu have for
me.  I will be okay now I promise.  But we need to go back to our bedroom.

I grabbed for his hand and let him to our bedroom th eplace we were now
going to spend the rest of out lives together.  Nowthat I knew he was going
to be with me always.

When we got to our room he picked me up and laid me on the bed.  I started
unbutton his shirt but he stopped me.

"I want to do this for you let me do the work."

He slowly undressed me and then undressed himself.  Then he leaned in to
kiss me passionatly, and then slowly kissed my neck then my chest.  He woke
his way down to my now hard cock, and slowly kissed around the top, and
then wrap his lips around it and started to do his magic on my cock. He
then licked my balls and got up grabbed some lube from the dresser and then
slowly prep my awaiting rose bud.  He then positioned his cock and slowly
started pushing in.  He was finally all the way in and he slowly started
pumpping in and out.  This was not jut fucking this was making love.  He
finally filled me with his seed and without evening touching my cock I
came.

He then fell on top of me and kissed me harder.  He then fell asleep in my
arms and I knew I was going to be alright for the first time in a long
time.


To be continues.

I know this one is a little short but there may be more to come.  Let me
know what you think.