Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2010 21:46:25 +1000 From: Alex McMahon Subject: Shades of Purple The usual disclaimers apply. This work is the property of Alex McMahon and any copy or distribution will be an infringement of copyright laws. Thank you for reading. My name is Alex. I've been reading wonderful stories on Nifty for a long time. After toying with an idea for a while, I have decided to post my own story, to hopefully give back to the writers that have shown me such a good time throughout the years. I have no idea how frequent the posting of chapters will be. I don't want to make any promises I'm not about to keep. However, I promise to write it until it comes to a satisfying conclusion. Please, feel free to email any comments to alextmcmahon@gmail.com Chapter 1 Part One - Moving On I could feel the rain on my skin. I was soaked, yet, numb enough not to feel the cold. I had finally given up using the umbrella. My eyes weren't focussing properly, still moist - a mixture of rain and tears. There was a faint hum around me. I knew people were talking, crying probably as well, but to me, it all sounded as an indecipherable hum. I kept looking ahead, trying to focus on the casket being lowered, swallowed by the earth. I felt exhausted, and my breath was becoming strained. I started to feel sick and, irrationally, I could have sworn that I could smell death all around me. I started to heave, letting the umbrella fall to the ground. I brought my hand to my throat as the world grew whiter and started to spin. The hum became fainter and I knew what was about to happen. Then I felt it. Something soft and wet grabbed my hand and tugged at it gently. I knew what it was, or who it was, immediately. The realization made me stronger. The world stopped spinning and my eyes started to focus. I looked down and saw him, his sad eyes looking back at me. I saw Sam. I looked around for a second and I could see people staring, concerned looks everywhere. My mother was consoling my mother-in-law who was crying on her shoulder. My father was a few feet away, silently looking at me, his face wet from the rain. Still, I could tell he'd been crying. I turned my attention to Sam who was patiently waiting for some kind of reaction from me. He increased the pressure on my hand. As I kneeled down to his level I slowly pushed the wet hair from his face, making a mental note to get it cut soon. He was staring at me with those powerful green eyes of his that always seemed to know exactly what I was thinking. He looked much older that Six at that moment. "Hey" I said, giving him a small smile. I could tell he was trying to be strong. I felt like I needed to do the same. "How are you holding up bud?" He never took his eyes off mine. "Dad." He gives me a worried look. He's worried about me. I feel like shit. I'm the father, the one who's supposed to worry, not my six-year-old kid. I grab him and hug him tightly. He throws his arms around my neck and kisses the side of my face. I felt like I needed to reassure him. "Bud, we're gonna be OK." He didn't reply. We just stayed there, hugging, the rain still falling. Finally, he pushes back slowly and looks me in the eye again. God, he's so beautiful. I swear those eyes see through me. "Dad, I'm ready to go home now." He looks calm. I knew he was putting it on for my sake. I looked around, people were starting to disperse and walk away. I noticed my father behind me. He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it gently. I turn back to Sam. "Alright buddy. Let's go home." With my dad next to me, I led my son down the path towards the parked car. I suddenly felt like I could sleep for days. Part Two - Meeting Mr. Archer "Dad." I could feel the mattress bouncing up and down under me. "Dad." I kept my eyes closed. A smile creeping into my face. "Dad!" Sam started jumping higher. "Dad, I know you're awake." I kept my ruse just to annoy him, which just powered his resolve. "Daaaaaaaaaaad." Oh the little boy pleading voice weapon. "Come on, I can see you smiling." My smile grew bigger. "You're just doing this to annoy me." He's got me there. "I'm smiling because I'm having a good dream. Go away." "Dad!" I decide to give him a break and open my eyes. I smile at him. "Hey bud." "I want breakfast." He says indignantly as he folds his arms. "It's past 9." I look at the clock on the bedside table. "You ate yesterday." "Dad!" "What? I specifically remember feeding you yesterday." "Dad, I have to eat every day!" He gives me an incredulous look. God, I love him so much. "Who says?" "Grandma says that only good-for-nothings stay in bed after 9. Are you a good-for-nothing?" I needed to have a talk with that woman, poisoning my child with unhealthy thoughts. "No son. Do I make a mean breakfast or what?" He looks at me like I'm ridiculous. I can't blame him. "Of course you do dad." "Do I make you laugh?" "Yes." He starts to get impatient. I press on. "Can I drive?" "Yes dad, you know you can." I smile and keep it up. "Do I work?" He lights up instantly and gives me a mischievous smile. The cheeky bastard. "Sam!" "Yes dad." He says through a fit of giggles. "You work." "Well, then I must be good for something and, if I'm good for something logic says I can't be a good-for-nothing." He considers the matter carefully, then looks at me. "You're avoiding my questions again aren't you?" My smart boy. "Grandma says you have been doing that a lot lately." What is that woman doing to me. "She told you that?" A guilty look sets on his face. "No. I heard her tell grandpa." Ah. "You're normally at work at 9." "I know kiddo but today I'm only going to work at 1." How come?" "Adult stuff." He hates it when I say that. He gets his typical indignant look on and with those piercing eyes, starts trying to burn a whole through my head. I just smile at him, which only makes him madder, I can't help myself, I grab his arm and pull him forward, making him land on top of me. I quickly restrain him with my left arm and start a tickling attack. "Ha. dad. dad. stop dad. you promised." "What? I don't remember promising anything." I relent for a few moments. He looks at me, his chin resting on my chest. "You promised you wouldn't tickle me anymore." "What? When? Was I drunk?" Like I would ever do such a thing. "The other day when I asked if we could get a puppy and you said no and I said why not and you said 'cuz and then you said how about I just don't tickle you anymore instead and I said not fair and." Ah. He's got me. "Well, I don't remember any such conversation." I lie shamelessly. "You're lying, dad." "Am not!" "Are too." "Am not. Are you doubting your father?" He giggles and nods against my chest. I start tickling him again. oOo "He'll see you now Mr. McMahon." The secretary tells me as she hangs up the phone. I had been avoiding this for a month. Since Lilly's funeral I had my father pestering me to see his layer, our lawyer, to settle Lilly's will and get this over with. I just refused. It was just too soon to think about that sort of stuff. For me what mattered was that she was no longer here and that Sam would grow up without a mom. I finally asked dad to set me up with a meeting, forcing myself to end it. Sitting at the lobby of his office, announced and everything, I finally had to just do it. I didn't know a lot about Mr. Archer other that he had been dad's lawyer forever. Maybe thirty years. Naturally, when Lilly asked my father for legal advice he put her on to him. As I open the door and walk into his office I'm expecting a 60-year-old man with a grey suit and gold-rimmed glasses hanging just at the tip of his nose. I'm completely surprised by the muscle bound hunk barely contained inside his shirt. I didn't know you could see pecks through a vest. He's 6"2 at least, creamy brown hair, warm hazel eyes. He's wearing black trousers, white shirt and a black vest. As he extends his hand to me in a greeting gesture and smiles I decide that he's probably the most handsome man I have ever seen. Only after a few seconds I realize he's talking to me. "Mr. McMahon?" "Wha.? Oh." I quickly grab his hand. "Yes. Hi. Nice too meet you." Way to go loser. He shakes my hand and gives me another smile. Perfect white teeth. I'm into perfect teeth. "Yes, again, I apologise for my father not being able to meet with you today but I can assure you, I'm all yours." Oh dam. Calm down Alex. Calm down. He guides me to a seat near his desk. "That's alright Mr. Archer. I don't mind." He sits down and looks at me. "Please, call me Nate." I smile at him. "Thank you. I'm Alex." Then I realize I've met him before. "I can't remember, but I have this feeling we've met." He looks down at his desk for a brief moment before meeting my eyes again and giving me a sad smile. Ah. "You were at the funeral." He nods. "I'm sorry for your loss Alex." I noticed how deep and caring his voice sounded. "I only met Lilly once but I could tell she was a wonderful person." The way he says it doesn't make me resent it. I could never understand why people were so insistent on saying they're sorry or feeling like they have to say anything at all. At that moment though, somehow coming from this man, it felt different. "Thank you. She was really special." We leave it at that. For the next hour we go over Lilly's assets and what I wanted to do with them. It was painful but I got through it. Every now and then Nate would notice me becoming upset and would change the subject or say something to make me smile. For the most part it was a conflict of emotions. On one hand I was feeling depressed, going through the life of my partner of seven years. On the other hand, this gorgeous man was giving me support, being sweet and caring. We were finally done and he starts laughing at my lame joke, which only makes him even more adorable. I just look at him and smile. I can't help but admire just how handsome he is. He soon settles down and looks at me. His look changes from friendly to penetrating. I shuffle uncomfortably in my seat. "Well, I think that's it right?" I say trying to break the tension that I could feel was building up. He quickly snaps out of his trance. "Right. well." I wait for him to continue, suddenly nervous. What's with me today? "Look, I want to give you my card." He takes one from his wallet and gives it to me. "I know we don't know each other that well but, look. I want you to know you can call me if you need anything." He pauses for a moment and places his hand on top of mine. "Even just to talk." I'm not sure why, but at that moment, his hand on mine, the fact that I was still very sensitive about Lilly's death and the fact that I barely knew him, I just felt insulted. I reacted automatically and stood up, the chair scratching against the hardwood floor. He immediately stands up as well, giving me a concerned look. "Alex, I didn't mean." I don't let him finish. I just wanted to get out of there. "It's alright Mr. Archer." I notice him wince at the mention of his last name. "I have to go. My son is waiting for me." For some reason, mentioning Sam was like wearing protective armour. I turn around and walk out of the office. Part Three - The Third Degree "OK. what happened?" I'm sitting across from my father in my parents' living room. All I can think about is how comfortable their lounge chairs are. Much more comfortable than mine. I make a mental note to ask my mother about them. "Alex." My father calls, trying to regain my attention. "Sorry dad. It's been a long day." I sigh and sip a bit of the whiskey he's poured for me. It's his new thing, a drink before dinner. Normally my mother would strongly object but with his regular check-up coming up she had been trying to get his mind off it. "What were you saying?" He sighs and shakes his head. "I was asking you, what the hell happened with you and Nathaniel Archer?" "Dad, you know ma doesn't like you using hell like that." "Oh, for fucks sake Alex!" "Nothing happened dad." I knew it was pointless to avoid it but a part of me always insists on at least trying. "Alex, I know something happened, so just spill it." My father. A 62-year-old legend. One of the most successful doctors this city has ever seen. Now, retired, with his grey hair and somehow softened features, his biggest project is trying to totally disrupt my personal life. "Dad, if you already know what happened why are you bothering me with this?" It had been a week since the incident at Nate's office. When I didn't get a call from my mother that very afternoon I thought they would never hear about it. Figures I'd be wrong. Dad takes a sip of his drink and seems to relax a little. When he speaks again the edge is gone form his voice, clearly trying to coax me into talking. "Alex, Archer called me to talk about business and in the course of our conversation your meeting with his son came up." Yeah right, it was probably the reason for the call. "He seems worried that Nathaniel might have done something to offend you. I, of course, discouraged any such notions because I know the boy and I know perfectly well how polite and well mannered he is. However, I would like to hear it from you" He takes another sip of whiskey and since he notices me still silently looking at my hands, decides to add "If you don't mind." "Look," I start, still looking at my hands. "I don't know what happened." I look up at my father who's frowning at me. "Really. It's just. I think I'm still feeling a bit too sensitive about Lilly and dealing with it all that I read a little more than I should have, into what was a perfectly friendly gesture on his part. I ended up making an ass of myself and just left." Dad just stares at me for a few seconds before nodding. "It was a week ago, I'm not going to see him again, let's just let this go. Ok?" He's about to argue the point when Sam comes running through the living room, his hand held high like some kind of trophy. I hear my mother's voice from the kitchen. "Samuel, I don't want batter on my carpet." I look at Sam who's now in front of me, a big smile plastered across his face. He points his battered covered finger at me and orders. "Lick!" I take his finger in my mouth and make noisy slurping sounds which make him giggle. He looks at me expectantly. "So? Do you like it?" "Tastes great bud." I say sincerely. "YAY! I made it dad." "You did?" I ask, faking bewilderment. He nods vigorously. "Wow kiddo, you'll make a great Chef." I say it more because I know it will provoke my father and guarantee a change from the Nate topic than for Sam's sake. "Alex, do not encourage the boy." He grabs Sam and pulls him to his chest, protecting him from my bad influence. Like I'm sending him off to war or something. "Cooking is a hobby, not a career." "Dad, he can be a Chef if he wants to." We've had this conversation millions of times and Sam learns at the speed of light. He falls back comfortably against my father's side, looking at me. His eyes sparkle. "No dad. I'm gonna be a doctor like grandpa." Little bastard. He knows exactly that would get him all the attention and praise for the rest of the evening. Dad just gives me a triumphant look before staring back at his six-year-old golden boy with pride, like he just graduated from Harvard Med. Part Four - Coffee and a Good Book "Here you go." She says sitting across from me and putting the hot coffee cup on my desk. "Now, tell me everything." Sarah is my best friend that somehow after our college years became my employee and like everyone else I know, her favourite topic is my personally life. She's sitting crossed legged, auburn hair flickering gently with the breeze coming from the window as she eagerly prods me for information. I can't help but smile at her excitement, even if she revels in my misery. "Ok, it's actually not just the one thing." "Sweetie, with you, I assumed as much." I give her a look. She laughs. "What? Oh come on Alex, just tell me." I cuddle the cup of coffee with both hands and look at the swirling mixture of black and white that she calls at cappuccino. I make a mental note to tell Lucie to not let her make more coffee. "Ok, well, the other day I went to my dad's lawyer's office and." - She cuts me off. "What? The Nate story?" I almost spill the whole steaming concoction all over my desk. I take a few seconds just to regain a sense of balance and look at her. "You already know?" "Of course I know. Your mother told me when we were talking about you the other day." I shake my head in exasperation. "Why do you people do this to me?" "Alex, I didn't call her to talk about you." I bet she did. "The subject just came up." I sigh in defeat. "Oh sweetie, I completely understand. You are in an emotional place. No harm done. I'm sure Nate understands it too." I smile at her. She does manage to make me feel better. I guess that's one reason I keep her around. "So? What else is wrong with you?" She says it, clearly, taking too much pleasure in my pain. "Sam asked why his mom died yesterday. Don't get me wrong, I had been expecting it but. I don't know, it still hurts me that he's in pain and I don't know what else to do. I'm not sure I'm doing everything I should." "Of course you are." Sarah says quickly and with determination, "Sarah." "No. Listen to me. If I know anything is what a great father you are to Sam. Cut yourself a little slack. It's a lot to deal with, for both of you." I smile warmly at her. "Thanks Sarah. I know. I'm just frustrated I guess." Then she surprises me. "You know something? I envy you." "What? Why?" "I look at you, I look at Sam and the way he looks at you. he loves you unconditionally. That, to me, is amazing. You're a great guy with a great sense of humour and, it pains me to say, pretty hot." "Ah, come on Sarah." I can't help but blush. "The blond hair, the blue eyes, the firm bod." "Sarah!" "Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm still awesome and all that, but sometimes, I can't help it. I envy you." A comfortable silence sets in between us for a few moments while I'm enjoying the fact that she's a great friend and she enjoys the fact that she knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. "OK. I hate to bring the mood back down." Oh, Oh. "But I need to get us back on the topic of hiring extra staff." "Aw Sarah." I whine. "New People?" "Alex, we've talked about this. We need someone, and before you try to avoid it again I thought about just posting an ad in the college newspaper. The semester is starting soon. There's bound to be someone suitable interested in the position." "Alright, alright. Just do it." One more thing I had been avoiding. I had known for a while that the bookstore needed extra hands but I'd been putting it off. I was just not a new people kinda guy, as far as employees were concerned anyway. "Alex, you do know you'll actually have to interview the ones I shortlist, yeah?" "Sarah." I plead with her. "Alex, just coming over and sitting at your desk isn't considered work." I roll my eyes. "Alright. sheesh. What do I pay you for?" oOo I hadn't been sitting by myself for five minutes when Sarah barges back into my office. "Guess what?" I sense it's not going to be good. Whenever she gets this happy it usually means crap coming my way. I begrudgingly ask "What?" dreading the incoming answer. "Nathaniel Archer is here." Crap. May way. I knew it. "You could have told me he was THE hottest man alive." I get up from behind my desk, go over to the door and peer around the frame, trying to spot him. "Forget it." Sarah says. "He's over by the books." "Why is he even here?" I ask myself more than her. "We serve good coffee?" I give her a look. "Why do you think silly? To see you." "Yes, I get that. But why?" All I can think of is how much of an ass I was. That, and that somehow my father's meddling was behind this. "I sense my father's touch." "Just go." Sarah tells me impatiently. "I told him you'd come right over. God, the guy is probably giving virtual orgasms to everyone by the Romance section." I reluctantly drag myself out of the office, leaving Sarah and her lewd comments behind. Better get this over with. I cross the caf‚ portion of the store and finally spot him in the distance, absorbed in some book near the crime section. Sarah was right, he was gorgeous, and in casual clothes he was even yummier. Damn it Alex, control yourself! I notice several people staring at him. He was apparently oblivious to all the attention he was getting. I walk over not missing the way his jeans perfectly contoured his butt. Damn it. "Hey." I say disturbing his concentration. He looks up at me and smiles instantly, but only for a moment. The happy expression is gone as fast as it came, replaced by one of uncertainty. Was he nervous? For the life of me I could not imagine why someone who looks like him would ever feel nervous about anything. Man I'm shallow. "Hi." He says shyly. I look at the book he's holding and it dawns on me, that's my book. Fuck. He notices me looking. "I didn't know you could write. It looks pretty good." I blush furiously and say a lame "thank you" under my breath. "I'm sorry. I came over out of the blue but I feel like I owe you an apology." He felt like he needed to apologise? Now I felt even worse. "No Nate, please, it was rude of me to just leave like that." "I totally understand why you did it. It was so tackless of me." "Nate, you were just trying to be a friend, seriously, you have nothing to blame yourself for." We look at each other and smile goofily. "Ok, so we're both sorry and we both feel silly now." He said with a big smile on his face. "I guess so." I didn't know what to say. I realized how awkward I really felt at that moment. Not because of him specifically. I had just been feeling awkward around people in general over the past month. Thankfully he broke the silence. "Just so you know, I do want to be your friend." I stare at him pointedly. I knew he was telling the truth. He blushes slightly which of course, makes him look cuter. I chastise myself for thinking like that and thank him. I decide to be brave. "Listen, do you have somewhere to go right now?" He seems to relax at my words. "No, took the day off." "Good, come on, let's sit down and I'll get Lucie to make us a cup of coffee. She makes a mean cappuccino." He gives me the warmest smile ever seen on anyone and starts to walk alongside me. I notice he still has my book with him. End of Chapter 1