Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2014 22:02:53 -0700
From: J Daly Matthews <shakes003@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Taking of Jakob (Revisited) Part 11

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My parents were standing outside the front entrance of the church when I
parked my car off to the side. Jakob didn't say anything; he quickly got
out of the car and straightened out his shirt and slacks before walking
over to my mom and dad. I slowly followed him over to my parents, while the
block of ice in my stomach got colder and colder.

There was nothing sacred or holy to me about that church. It only
represented pain and suffering to me. I stopped suddenly when I saw the
dumpster at the far end of the parking lot where the alley was. It wasn't
that long ago that I found Jakob curled up against it; his body beaten and
violated. I did not want to be back at this place; it was the last place on
earth I wanted to be.

"Bryan?"

My mother's voice broke into my thoughts. I took another look down to the
alley before approaching her. Jakob was standing between her and my father
staring at his feet. He looked pale and unsteady.

"What took you boys so long?" My mom asked as my father grabbed the door
and held it open for us.

"Sorry," was all I said. It seemed to suffice and we proceeded inside.

The pews were mostly empty and we took our places near the middle, but not
far enough to the back for my liking. The service began with a song, but my
focus and attention was on Jakob as his breathing was becoming erratic and
hurried. I noticed that he wasn't singing and he looked as though he were
swaying on his feet and about to fall over. I gently and discretely took
his hand and he looked at me. His eyes were glazed over, and he looked as
though he were going to be sick.

"Are you okay, Jakey?" I was getting more worried. He nodded and then
turned his focus back to the front where a priest stood.

The song ended and we took our seats. Jakob's hand was cold and clammy as
it clutched on to mine for dear life. I could hear him hyperventilating as
his eyes closed. I didn't care; I slid closer to him and wrapped my arm
around him. Jakob let his head fall to my shoulder.

"Is that him?" I motioned to the priest delivering the service at the front
of the room. I had to know, but at the same time I was scared of his
answer. I didn't know what I would do if his answer was going to be yes.

Jakob shuddered before shaking his head. His hand reached over and grabbed
the front of my shirt.

"Shhhhh..." I whispered as my lips pressed against his forehead.

"I think I'm gonna be sick, Bry. I'm sorry, you were right. I'm sorry. I
can't do this." Jakob took a deep breath and his whole body started
trembling out of control. My arm tightened around him.

"It's okay. It's gonna be okay." I reassured and looked over to my parents
who seemed to be oblivious to Jakob's state; paying attention only to the
sermon happening at the front of the church.

"Mom," I whispered loudly to get her attention. She first looked annoyed at
me, but then the look turned to horror when she saw Jakob leaning on me.

"Oh, dear! What's wrong, honey?" My mother whispered as she petted Jakob's
hair.

"Mom, I gotta get him outta here!"

"Oh, my God!" My mother nodded and stood up as I shuffled out of our pew
and pulled Jakob to his feet.

"What's going on?" My dad stood up and followed us out into the aisle and
through the doors out into the reception area of the church.

"Honey, he looks horrible!" My mom ran her hand through Jakob's hair before
resting the back of her hand on his forehead.

"What'd you do, get him sick?" My dad looked at me confused and I just
shook my head at him.

"I gotta get him home." I said and felt Jakob lean into me even more.

"Does he need the hospital?" My father suggested but I just shook my head.

"We gotta go," was all I said while I led Jakob out from the church over to
my car, leaving my parents standing at the door in complete confusion.

Jakob's eyes were fixed on the dashboard, and we said nothing to each other
as I turned on the ignition, and peeled out of the parking lot as fast as I
could. It took me all of seven minutes to make it home. I remembered
running two red lights, and wondered in amazement that there wasn't a cop
around to ticket me for it. All I could think was that I had to get Jakob
home as fast as I could.

I slammed the car into park as I squealed into the driveway. Jakob was
still staring at the dashboard when I walked over to the passenger side of
the car and opened the door for him. I laid my hand on his shoulder gently
and frowned when he jumped from my touch. I knew that taking him back to
that church was a mistake, and yet I brought him there. Now we were back to
square one; he was as jumpy and terrified as that evening months ago when
he called me to come get him away from that place.

Jakob managed to pull himself together enough to slide out of the car
without much help from me, and he followed me silently to the front door
where I unlocked it and held it open for him. He walked through, but
stopped when he reached the stairs leading up.

I didn't know what to do; I didn't know what to say. I shut the door and
leaned against it while I watched him. His body suddenly began shaking
violently. Alarmed, I immediately took a step and reached for him.

"Jakob, are you okay?"

Jakob didn't answer. He stared off into space before he began sobbing
uncontrollably; the speed and rhythm matching the rate his body was
trembling. I gently turned his body so that he was facing me and noticed
his hands. They were clenched in fists, his right hand trickling blood. I
lifted it, and tried to pry his fingers open to get a better look at
whatever was causing it to bleed. His fingers gradually opened for me, and
I saw the pendent that I had just given him wedged tightly in his palm
practically branding his skin. I tried to take it away, but Jakob's fingers
closed tightly around it again.

"Jakob," I started, but I didn't know what to say. Nothing I could ever say
to him would ever erase the pain he was going through. I felt helpless.

I could suddenly feel my throat constrict as my eyes began to sting from
the wetness trying to seep out of them. My hand instinctively reached out
to touch his hair. He was staring blankly past me, seeing something that
nobody else could see. Finally, like the flick of a switch he fell into me
pressing his face into my chest and let it go.

"Shhhhh..."

I tried to soothe him as I clutched him to me; listening as months and
possibly years of pain released as he wailed out loud. His body went limp
against me, but I held him tight; keeping him on his feet. I fought, but
couldn't hold back the tears any longer as I heard Jakob cry that he was
sorry over and over again. I didn't think it was possible, but I held on to
him even tighter and let my own tears fall.

It was a while before the sounds of Jakob's cries slowed. I couldn't see
his face as it was shoved tightly into my chest, but his grip on me was
lessening. I let go of him with my left arm and hand as I felt lower and
picked him up underneath his knees. His eyes weren't even open as his head
bobbed back against my right shoulder. Clearly he was exhausted and
probably in a bit of shock as I carried him to our room and laid him gently
on our bed.

I kicked off my own shoes before leaning over to gently remove the shoes
and socks from Jakob's feet. I realized he had exhausted himself to a point
of unconsciousness as I slowly undid his belt and tugged his dress pants
off of his legs. My own exhaustion seemed to hit me at that time and I
didn't have any energy left to undress myself when the phone rang.

"Yeah," I answered tiredly.

"Bryan, how is everything? How is Jakob; is he okay?" It was my mom.

"I don't know," I started and felt the lump returning to my throat when I
looked over to him. "He's sleeping now."

"Bryan?"

"I can't talk right now, mom. I gotta go."

"Bryan...what happened? What's going on?"

"Mom, I can't right now. I'm sorry." I felt my voice shaking.

"Bryan...alright honey. Let us know if you need anything, please? We love
you."

"I love you too. Bye."

I was thankful that my mom didn't press for any more information as I felt
another hot tear slide down my face. I turned the ringer off on the phone
and looked back over to Jakob who looked surprisingly peaceful while he
slept on our bed. I shimmied the covers out from beneath him. I didn't
bother undressing; I flopped over Jakob onto my side of the bed. I shoved
my arm underneath his neck and curled my arm up so I could slide my fingers
into his hair. My other arm fell possessively around his body, holding him
close to me. When my eyes fell closed I thought feebly about pulling the
blankets around us; but as soon as the thought entered my mind, it left as
sleep overtook me.

I had no idea what time it was when my eyes opened to the dim light from
the lamp on the nightstand. I didn't remember turning it on before lying
down with Jakob in bed; my mind was foggy and my head felt heavy from the
emotional rollercoaster. I looked at Jakob, his back still facing me. I
couldn't tell if he was still asleep, but I didn't want to wake him if he
was.

I sighed as I moved my arm from around him and let it glide lightly from
his shoulder, down to his hip. He was only wearing his dress shirt and his
white cotton briefs. His cotton covered bum was pressed into my crotch and
I allowed myself a half smile.

"I love you." Jakob's small voice startled me.

"Jakob? What are you doing up? Go back to sleep." I whispered as I wrapped
my arm back around him.

"I love you." Jakob repeated as he shuffled around and turned to face me.

"I love you, too." I let my hands find his face, and held him there as I
kissed his forehead.

He rested his head on my shoulder and we lay for a little bit when
something my buddy Mark had said before crossed my mind. It was the fact
that Jakob had grown up going to the same church. The fact that Jakob was
friends with, and knew the priest that had raped him. Jakob didn't talk
much about his past with me; he always seemed to avoid the subject about
his family and his childhood. It was a gnawing feeling that wouldn't stop.

"Jakob?"

"Mhmm?"

"Did..." I really didn't know the right way to ask, or even if I had the
right to ask but I did anyway.

"Did he ever hurt you before?"

I tried searching his eyes for the answer but he avoided my gaze. That was
when I knew all that I needed to know. I didn't want details; I didn't want
dates and places. I just wanted to know if my suspicions had been
correct. I knew then that they were.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," he started and I wanted to shake some sense
into him.

"Stop it! Enough!" I was so angry I got out from underneath him and sat up
straight. "Why are you still apologizing for what that sack of shit did to
you?"

Jakob slowly sat up next to me, shaking his head. It was a habit. He was
taught that what happened was all of his fault and it made me sick that he
believed it to be true. My worst fears seemed to be unfolding before my
eyes. Returning to the church was making him regress.

"I'm sor..." he started, but then stopped when he saw the look on my
face. "Don't be mad at me, please." He begged as he shoved a hand into his
hair in frustration.

"Hey," I held the back of his head and kissed him gently on his lips.

"I'm not mad at you. I just...I don't know what to do anymore. I want to
help you through this; I just don't know how or even if I can."

We sat beside each other on the bed for a while not saying anything. Maybe
there wasn't anything to say. Jakob was going through something I had no
frame of reference for. I had never experienced abuse, nor did anyone in my
family. Maybe I'd never be able to help him. How could I, when I didn't
even know what he was going through?

It was as though Jakob was reading my thoughts when he said, "I love
you. You're my best friend, Bryan. You've always been there for me from the
beginning. I'm sorry I'm so fucked up right now...I'm sorry for that. I
just want you to know that I couldn't do this without you."

"I'd do anything for you, Jakob. I hope you know that."

Jakob nodded his assent and we sat beside each other in silence for a while
longer. I hoped that with more time and patience, Jakob could somehow find
his way out of what happened to him. I knew that I would be there because I
meant what I said; I would do anything for him. It was more than us being
lovers; Jakob was as dear a friend to me as I apparently was to him.

I looked over to the nightstand and cringed when I saw the time. It was
2:45 in the morning and although at that moment I didn't feel tired, I knew
that I would be asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

"You work tomorrow?" I asked. Jakob shook his head in reply.

"Well, why don't we get some sleep?"

"You gonna sleep in your clothes?" Jakob asked tiredly as he sized me up
and down.

"I guess I better not," I said as I unbuttoned my shirt and tossed it to
the floor beside the bed. I thought about taking off my pants but got as
far as taking my belt off before giving up and lying down without removing
any other clothing.

Jakob smirked at me before tossing his shirt on the floor after mine and
settled into bed. He faced me as he shuffled closer; clad in only his
underwear. I shoved an arm under his neck and was about to circle my other
arm around him when he brought his right fist up and tucked it underneath
his chin.

"You gonna let go of that thing?" I asked as I looked at the dried streaks
of blood on his wrist and up his arm.

"I think I broke it; the chain fell off."

"Lemme see." I asked gently and Jakob slowly opened his hand for me.

The pendent; besides being covered in dried blood seemed to be in pristine
shape. The loop at the top was stretched where the chain should have been
threaded through. Jakob's hand looked like a mess. There were scratches and
gouges where he had held on too tightly to the cross. I gently closed his
hand and kissed his knuckles before grabbing for the bed covers and pulling
them up over us.

"We'll get you a new chain; a stronger one." I murmured while I kissed his
head and rolled over to reach the lamp on the bedside table. I turned it
off and settled back where I was. I could feel myself slipping away.

Jakob didn't reply with words. He simply wrapped his right arm around me
and held on.

When I woke up again it was light out and I could hear the chirping of
birds outside the window. I felt hot and groggy and kicked some of the
blankets off of me. Jakob was on his back next to me; his head turned
towards me with my arm still shoved under his neck. He looked peaceful in
his sleep; his left arm resting across his body and his right arm settled
at his side. I gently pulled my arm out from beneath him and propped my
head on my hand as I smiled and watched him.

He looked so beautiful and inviting lying next to me; it didn't escape me
how little he was wearing. I leaned into him and placed my lips on the
bottom corner of his mouth. Jakob didn't respond at first, but as I let my
lips move over his I felt his breath hitch. Soon after his hand moved up to
my chest; his fingers lightly stroking back and forth.

"G'mornin'," I whispered while I stroked his face and jaw with the backs of
my fingers. Jakob opened his eyes slowly and nodded in reply.

"Are you okay?"

Jakob slowly nodded again and I couldn't quite read the expression on his
face. He looked unsure, and looked as though something was bothering him.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned. Jakob opened his mouth to say something,
but then shut it. His eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head at me.

"What is it?"

Jakob looked away and then looked back into my eyes as he bit his bottom
lip. I felt his hand move up from my chest to my neck where he pulled on
it; urging my face closer to his. His mouth was open, and I felt his tongue
lightly touch my top lip as his fingers curled themselves into my hair. I
smiled at the realization of his insecurity. He wanted me to kiss him
again, but was too shy to ask.

I pressed my mouth to his and felt his other arm wrap around me and hold me
to him. His mouth was warm and soft as it moved against mine. Both of his
hands were then buried in my hair, grabbing and releasing. I shifted my
weight; wedging a leg in between both of his until he moved them apart. I
shoved my other leg in between his and forced them to open wide and let me
fall completely between them.

The room was filled with the sound of our breathing and the occasional soft
moan from Jakob. It didn't take long for things to get heated. My hands
buried themselves into the soft waves of his hair as I felt his drifting
down my back to hold me at my waist. I drove my hips into his and felt the
fullness of his cock against me.

"Oh boy," I sighed after I tore my mouth from Jakob's.

Things were moving quickly and I wasn't sure that I wanted to slow down. I
moved up on an elbow while I let a hand drag down from Jakob's head, down
his neck and chest until it found the hard mound in the front of Jakob's
underwear. That beautiful tube of flesh was clearly hard and outlined
beneath the white cotton of his briefs. I let out an involuntary moan of
pleasure when I noticed the wet spot at the tip of where his penis was.

"Oh God, Jakob."

"I'm sorry," he whimpered.

"Shut up," was all I could say before my mouth crushed back onto his.

Jakob had no choice but to open his mouth for me as my tongue snaked its
way inside. I moved a hand down and let it slip inside the front of his
underwear; the feel of him in my hand made me ache to the core. I needed
inside of him. I wanted to bury myself inside of him-not just my dick. I
wanted to curl up inside of his heart and stay there forever.

I let my hand slide up and down his cock while I dragged my lips from his
mouth down his jaw until my mouth sucked hard on the tender skin of his
neck. Jakob hollered out as my mouth moved down and found a nipple. I was
drunk with the taste and feel of him and I couldn't get enough.

I stopped everything and got on my knees between Jakob's legs. Jakob's eyes
were only half open; his chest was heaving as he tried to catch his
breath. He looked at me confused as I grabbed both of his wrists and hauled
him up; his legs sliding around me. I held him by the ass as I let my
covered erection rub up against the cleft of it.

Jakob threw his arms around me and buried his face in my neck as I heard
him cry out loud. I let my hands slip into the back of his underwear and
kneaded the mounds of his butt and I could feel the trembling starting from
him. It wasn't the first thought that things might have been going too far
for him, but I felt out of control. The feel of his skin consumed me and
all I cared about was how to get closer to him.

I pulled down on the back of Jakob's underwear and let the tip of my middle
finger drag up and down the crack of his ass. I heard him gasp, and felt
his fingers dig into my shoulders. When my finger felt the soft, puckered
opening of his hole, I pressed firmly yet gently until it eased inside of
him.

"Uhhhnn...Bryan." Jakob grunted hoarsely.

"Shhhhh, baby, it's okay." I soothed him as I moved my finger in to the
first knuckle, and then slowly pulled it out.

I kissed him on the lips. He in turn opened his mouth for me, and we kissed
deeply while the tip of my middle finger began to move slowly in and out of
him. Jakob jumped a little at first, but then thrust his tongue inside of
my mouth when the remainder of my finger to pushed against his hole and
found its way inside of him.

"How does that feel?" I whispered as my tongue attacked Jakob's ear.

His fingers dragged across my back while he moaned my name. The head of his
cock was visible from the top of his briefs; leaking profusely against his
and my skin. I made the assumption that he was feeling good; that what I
was doing was giving him pleasure. I slowly started fucking Jakob with my
finger, eventually working a second finger inside of him. He was becoming
wild against me, and I somehow knew that we were both ready. I slowly
withdrew my fingers from him and eased him back down to the bed.

"Bryan, please...I love you. It's okay...please." Jakob was begging.

The need in his voice matched the need I felt in my body and in my heart. I
nodded and leaned over to kiss him on his forehead. He reached up to brush
my hair back before I moved down his body; slowly pulling his underwear the
rest of the way off while I moved to get off of the bed.

Jakob was gazing eagerly up at me, and I stood and admired how absolutely
beautiful he looked lying on our bed naked and waiting for me. My heart was
pounding, and I felt a little light headed but pushed it back as I reached
down and undid my pants. When I had my pants and boxer briefs off, I sat on
the edge of the bed and reached over to curl my fingers in that soft mop of
waves.

Jakob slowly rolled onto his stomach. I couldn't help the smile that crept
up to my lips as I let my hand sweep over the firmness of the muscles in
his body and the softness of his skin. We had taken the long road, but here
he was offering himself to me without hesitation. I moved onto the bed
beside him and continued letting my hand glide over his body until I
reached his hip. I let my hold tighten and pulled him over onto his
side. Jakob looked confused.

"What are...?"

"Shhhhh..." I cut Jakob off before he could start.

My hand drifted up his side and back down over his hip. Jakob's face still
registered confusion and it was no less than adorable. I could only smile
at him. My hand slowly swept over the curve of his ass before I let my
fingers drag lightly through the cleft. When my fingers lightly touched his
hole, Jakob moved to roll onto his stomach but again I pulled him back.

"No, not like that, baby. I want you to see me. I want you to know that
it's me making love to you, nobody else. I want you to see me when I'm
inside of you." I whispered hotly into his ear.

The taking of Jakob was sweet and filled with the love we had come to feel
for each other. There was nothing rushed, or forced. This time I knew in my
heart that we were both ready to become one physically. I wanted my essence
inside of him. I wanted to give him everything that I was, and everything
that he taught me to be.

Jakob slowly rolled onto his back and I rolled on top of him; opening his
legs with my own. I gently urged Jakob's knees closer to his chest as I lay
on top of him. We kissed tenderly as I gently thrust my cock up against his
and felt his body shudder. I let my hand move down to stroke his erection
before moving even lower to rub against the hot valley of his ass. As my
fingers found and rubbed against his opening, Jakob tensed up and started
whimpering.

"Shhhhh...relax, baby. I'm not gonna do anything to hurt you. I love you so
much, Jakey. I love you."

"I'm scared. I want you so bad." Jakob confessed and I could feel my heart
flutter.

"You have me, baby." I whispered into his ear while I pushed my cock
against Jakob's hole.

I grunted hoarsely as the head slipped in, and Jakob buckled beneath
me. His eyes went wide, and he hollered out briefly in what sounded like
pain, and then clenched his eyes closed as his head fell to the side.

"Shhhhh..." was all I could offer to soothe any pain I knew I was the cause
of.

Jakob was impossibly tight around me and I thought the sensation would send
me prematurely over the edge. Making love to Jakob was nothing like when I
had been with women before. My senses were heightened; everything felt
new. Amazingly, I had the sense to know enough to stay still and not make
any sudden movements that would cause damage. Every muscle in my body
struggled to hold me in place until it was okay to move forward.

Jakob whimpered as he slowly moved his knees up even closer to his chest,
and I could feel his body relax. He pushed his bottom back against me, and
I felt myself slip further into him. Jakob moaned; his eyes still closed
tightly with his head to the side.

"Jakey?"

I gently cupped his face and turned it to face me. His eyes slowly opened
and his gouged up hand found the side of my face and held me like I was
holding him. I turned my face into it and kissed him softly there and
smiled when he smiled at me.

"I love you," I whispered and let my arms move around him to hold him to
me. We had finally become one.

The feeling of being inside of Jakob was becoming overwhelming and the
sight of his incredible body so vulnerable beneath my own was consuming
me. I absolutely worshipped him, and thanked every God that existed for
giving him to me.

"Bry...Bryan," Jakob cried out as his fingers dug into my back.

Each thrust had him crying my name and it was driving my desire for him to
the edge. I grabbed him by the wrists and held his arms above his head
while I plunged into his body over and over again. His body shook violently
as his climax took over him, and it drove me over the brink. I felt his
beautiful ass as it tightened around me. I collapsed on top of Jakob as I
came; letting my soul pour into him.

It took some time before I could catch my breath. I laid on him for a while
before I thought I was going to fall asleep and end up suffocating him. I
shifted and felt my flaccid organ slip from Jakob's body. I pushed my upper
body off of Jakob to look and check on him and found him lying there with
his eyes closed. His face was relaxed as he seemed to be sound asleep. I
grinned as I slowly moved off of the bed and headed to the bathroom to get
a warm wash cloth to clean the both of us.

When I returned, Jakob hadn't moved. I gently cleaned his cum off of his
chest and stomach, and Jakob remained still. I heard his gentle snoring
start, and I couldn't help but chuckle. I continued cleaning him up, gently
positioning him on his side. I noticed the blood right away and started to
panic. I hurried back to the bathroom to fetch a new cloth. When I
returned, I eased myself on the bed and slowly cleaned the blood from his
bum.

"I'm sorry," I said without really meaning to.

It wasn't a lot of blood, but I couldn't help but feel guilty for being the
cause of it. I promised Jakob that I would never hurt him, and it seemed
like the opposite was true. I let my fingers lightly touch the smooth skin
of his buttocks and felt the faded scars he had as a reminder of what
happened to him months ago. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I took a
deep breath and moved slowly to get up from the bed.

"Stay," Jakob's hand grabbed my wrist as he turned slowly to look at me.

"Hey, what are you doing up? I thought you were sleeping." I forced a
smile.

"What's wrong?" Jakob eyebrows furrowed and he pushed himself up into a
sitting position.  "Nothing." I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to
clear my head.

"Bryan?"

I felt his hand on my face before he pressed his lips against mine. When I
opened my eyes, he was looking at me concerned.

"What's wrong?" He asked again. When I was about to shake my head again
when his hand held my jaw more firmly.

"Don't tell me nothing. What's wrong? Are you sorry we..."

"God, no! No...I...I think I hurt you. You were bleeding, I just..." I felt
like shit. It wasn't how I imagined our first time together, but then again
I didn't know how it would be having never been with a man before.

"Did I hurt you?" I looked at him seriously.

Jakob gave a shy grin before the red started to creep onto his cheeks. His
hand went to his head; rubbing and messing up the mop of waves while he
looked away from me.

"What?" I asked.

"You...you're big. I gotta get used to you I guess." Jakob mumbled to his
chest before looking up at me. It took me a little to understand what he
meant, but when I did I felt guilty.

"I don't ever want to hurt you like he did, Jakob. I don't ever want to put
you through that again."

"But you didn't, Bryan. I love you and I want you. You're inside me now,
Bryan. He can't hurt me anymore. I knew you would make him go away."

That was all it took before I found myself on top of him again; our arms
wrapped around one another tightly. Jakob's lips pressed firmly against
mine and I couldn't help but let his words sink in. I couldn't help but be
moved by them.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Jakob. I promise you. We belong to
each other now."

I rolled onto my back and Jakob followed me; resting his head on my chest
with our legs entwined. My arms wrapped around him, one hand rubbing his
back and shoulders while the other played lazily with his black waves. We
lay silent in each other's company listening to the world outside our
window until we both drifted off to sleep.