Chapter 24

Several hours later, Kyle slowly opened his eyes. "Where am I?"

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Kyle. How are you feeling? And don't just shrug your shoulders like you did the last time. As I told you before, we can't fix what we don't know about."

"Dr. Foster? I just had the strangest dream. I dreamt we had found Jay then I was kidnapped and raped. He rescued me."

"It was no dream, Kyle. It really happened. Look." Dr. Foster pointed to a chair in the opposite corner of the room that held a sleeping Jayson.

"Jay?" he called out. He was immediately awake and by his side. They hugged tightly, both men crying tears of joy. "Jay! I thought I would never see you again. I love you so much! I'm so very, very sorry for what happened. Please come back. I can't live without you. I was such a fool and an asshole to have ever doubted you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Kyle, we've already been through all of that. You moved my stuff back into the house. Remember?"

Kyle frowned, confused.

"Kyle, what is today's date?" Dr. Foster asked suddenly concerned.

"March 27th."

Jay shot Dr. Foster a frightened look. "Actually, Kyle, its July 15th. Doc, what's going on? What's happened to Kyle's memory?"

"It's nothing to be concerned about. Temporary short-term memory loss is quite common in these cases. His memory will return in a few days."

"And if it doesn't?"

"We have things we can do to restore it."

"How long does he have to stay here?"

"I`m not sure as we need to fix up his broken ribs and have the proctologist examine him to make sure to further injuries were sustained. We also have to evaluate him for psychological trauma. There is one thing we need definitely to discuss."

"What's that, Doctor?" Kyle asked meekly.

"I'm not sure how to tell you this. Routine blood tests have confirmed that you, Jay, are HIV positive. So far, Kyle's still negative. But we need to routinely test his blood for the next few weeks."

Jay sunk into a chair while Kyle looked stunned. "I know it's not much of a consolation, but your attacker is now facing charges of assault with a deadly weapon in addition to numerous other assault, rape and kidnapping charges."

"He's a dead man." Kyle responded in a voice as cold and hard as steel.

"You don't have to worry about that. He'll get his in prison. Kidnapping and assaulting a federal agent is a class `A' felony which carries a mandatory sentence of life without parole. Since I had you legally registered as my domestic partner..."

Kyle shot Jay a shocked look.

"...yes, I came out at work, which wasn't a big surprise to a lot of my co-workers, and yes, I'm still a field agent for the FBI. As I was saying, having registered you as my domestic partner makes your kidnapping and rape a class `B' felony. He'll never see the outside world again. He'll die in prison, either from AIDS or at the hands of the other inmates. Same-sex rapists have a low survival rate in prison."

"Enough talk on that subject."


"Yeah, it's time to stop talking and start screwing." Kyle said quickly, holding out his arms for Jay.

"I'm afraid that's not going to happen anymore." Jay responded, regretfully.

"Why not? Don't you love me anymore? Or am I just damaged goods to you now?" He asked. The deep hurt he felt was very much in evidence.

"It's the other way around. I'm the one who's damaged goods. This time damaged beyond any hope of repair. How can I possibly make love to you now?"

"You listen to me, Jayson Edward Williams. I love you, and I can't wait to make love to you again, over and over and over again. I don't give a rat's ass that you're HIV positive. I'd rather have you screw me without a condom and infect me with HIV than never make love to you again."

"Don't you understand? It would be like putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger. I can't do that to you. I can't put you at risk."

"Jayson, it's not a death sentence." Dr. Foster interrupted. "You've always used condoms before, right?"

"Yes..." Jay replied, not knowing where Dr. Foster was headed with this.

"So you keep on using them and enjoy a healthy sex life." His phone rang. "Dr. Foster." Pause. "Are you sure?" Pause. "I want phlebotomy up here to room 1459-North stat. I want both Jayson Williams and Kyle Matthews retested immediately. And I want you to do the tests. In addition, I want to know how this could have happened. I just informed Mr. Williams that he was HIV positive, which has devastated both him and Mr. Matthews. Now I find out there's been a mix-up at the lab? We have procedures in place to prevent exactly that from happening. I want answers, and I want them by the end of the day. I want the person responsible in my office at six o'clock this evening. There's going to be hell to pay. These men have both been though extremely traumatic ordeals and they don't need this on top of everything else." He hung up angrily.

"Dr. Foster? What's happened?" Kyle asked nervously.

Tommy and Andy poked their heads in the door. "Is this a bad time?"

"Could you give us a few minutes please?" Dr. Foster asked. They said sure and left to get something to drink.

"There was a problem at the lab. Several of the blood samples got mixed up. I've ordered both of you to be retested, but don't get your hopes up. The results could be the same. However, there is a fifty-fifty chance that they're wrong and Jay is not infected. If he isn't infected, the two of you could sue this hospital, the lab and me for mental pain and anguish."

"I wouldn't do that to you, Doc. You've been wonderful to us and have brought us back together. We owe you more than we can ever repay." Jay said, firmly. Kyle nodded an enthusiastic agreement as the phlebotomist arrived to draw their blood.

"I want Teri to run the tests and I want her to call me immediately with the results." He wrote out the orders. "This is top priority."

The phlebotomist took the blood samples and left hurriedly.

"I guess there's something to be said about being Chief of Staff." He snickered. "Now, what do I need to do to get you guys back on track with your relationship? A swift kick in the butt, perhaps?"

"No, just Jay's dick in my ass" Kyle responded. "It's been way, way, way too long."

"Like I needed to know that" Dr. Foster laughed as Jay turned a very bright shade of red. "Seriously though, what needs to be done?"

"Seriously, Jay needs to get it through his thick head that we are going to get back together and he's going to screw my brains out every night, even if I have to tie him down on the bed and do all the work myself. He's not going to get out of having sex with me! Not no way, not no how. One nice thing about being gay men is that neither of us will be denied sex due to menstruation."

This last statement sent all three men into gales of laughter. "Want to share the joke?" Andy demanded as he and Tommy returned.

Wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes, Jay responded "Kyle just said that as gay men, we never have to worry about being denied sex because of a period."

Tommy, with a straight face, said "diarrhea doesn't count?" which sent everyone again into fits of laughter.

Jay quickly brought Tommy and Andy up to speed with what was happening. The two men exchanged horrified looks. "So when will you know?" Tommy asked with a trembling voice.

"I don't know. Not soon enough."

"There's one way to find out." Dr. Foster got out his phone and called the lab. "This is Dr. Foster. Let me speak to Teri, please." There was a slight pause. "Teri? Do you have the results of those blood tests yet? I see. Let me know as soon as you've finished the other test. Thank you." He hung up. "Kyle, your test results are negative. We should know the results of Jay's test within the next few minutes."

Kyle breathed a sigh of relief, then made a big show of crossing everything he could possibly cross, fingers, arms, legs, eyes, which made everyone laugh.

"So what happened? How did you find Kyle?"

Jay spent the next few minutes explaining how they were able to track the location of Kyle's cell phone, the arrest, etc.

Ring. "Dr. Foster. Yes? You're sure? Okay, thanks Teri." Hanging up he looked at the fearful faces and looked Jay straight in the eyes. "She ran the test three times, and each time the results were the same. Negative."

Everyone was hugging and crying all at once. Dr. Foster tapped Tommy and Andy gently, indicating that they should all leave and let the two young lovers be alone.

"So get your ass over here and screw me." Kyle demanded.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Didn't Dr. Foster explain it to you?"

"Obviously he didn't. Explain what?"

"Even though you know I love you more than anyone or anything in this world, and would never, ever intentionally do ANYTHING to hurt you, it is a sure bet that penetrating you would cause you to react like you're being raped again."

"Why? I want you to screw me so bad I can't stand it. I want you to fill my ass so full of your cum that people will be able to hear it sloshing around inside me from a mile away."

Jay kissed Kyle gently. He froze, with a look of terror in his eyes. "You see what I mean? Consciously you know it's me. Subconsciously, you feel like you're being raped. If you freeze up like that over a simple kiss, imagine how you would react to me penetrating you?"

Kyle pressed the call button. "I need to speak with Dr. Foster right away."

A few moments later, Dr. Foster came into the room. "Yes, Kyle?"

"I can't even share a kiss with my boyfriend of over five years without freaking out. You need to fix me and fix me now!"

"I'm afraid it's not quite that simple. However, realizing that there is something wrong that needs to be fixed is half the battle. We'll get started on the other half shortly. Believe me, this was not unanticipated, nor is it uncommon among rape victims."

"I don't care if it's common or not, anticipated or not. I want to have sex with my boyfriend. He needs to know how much I love him and need him. He needs to be shown that, and the only way I know of is him screwing me into the middle of next week."

"I understand that you feel that way..."

"No you don't. How could you understand how I feel?" Kyle's voice started to take on a slightly hysterical note."

"Kyle," he began soothingly. "I never said I understood HOW you feel. I said that I understood THAT you feel that way. I wouldn't insult your intelligence by saying that I understood how you feel. How can I? I'm not you and I've never experienced what you and Jay have just been through. But I do want to help you get through this. While I can't go into any details, I can tell you that Jay has made amazing progress in dealing with his ordeal."

"But I didn't freak out when he hugged me. It felt wonderful to be held in his arms."

"That's because we're conditioned to accept hugs in a platonic way, with no sexual overtones, unlike kissing, caressing or the sex act itself. Also know this. Jay knows what's at stake, and he's not going to engage in sexual activity of any kind with you until I give him the okay, which will not happen until I feel you're ready."

"How long is it going to take?"

"That depends on you. It could take a couple of weeks or several months. Maybe even a year."

"Okay" Kyle responded slowly, dragging the word out. "So let's get to work on me. The thought of having to wait a year to make love to him is totally unacceptable."

"Okay. I'll be back around four to talk with you more. I need to find out just how deep-seated your trauma is before we can treat it."

"Great. I can't wait to get started."

"Understand this, Kyle. It's not going to be easy. You're going to have to relive the memories of your kidnapping and rape. It will be very painful, but absolutely necessary. You also need to realize that, contrary to any belief you may currently hold, none of this was your fault. Nor was it Jay's. You are both the latest in a long list of unfortunate victims of a sociopath, and a particularly violent and abusive one at that."

"If you say so."

"I do. Now get some rest and I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"Okay, Doc."