The Reunion Show – part 8
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“Oh my God,” I said. “I
couldn’t have asked for it to go better.”
“For what to go better?” Scott
was there at the doorway. Oye!
Deanna winked at me and said to him,
“Mikey here just came out of the closet to his parents. He told
them he likes playing the skin flute!”
Now Scott, who was standing there
taking a sip of his water, blew it out all over Deanna and I and choked
“It’s ok Scotty, Deanna’s forgotten
to take her Zoloft today. She’s still busting my balls from
earlier this afternoon. Y’all coming?” I asked, leaving the deck
and going back inside. On a second thought as I walked by Scott I
smacked his ass again. “Much tighter baby!” I said.
“I was hoping you’d do that again,”
he said with a smile. Perfect teeth! Fucker!
I shook my head laughing as we all
went downstairs, followed by several cameramen, and headed over to
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We all got to Rhett’s and the girls
were ok but I think that Freddie and Charlie were sort of
nervous. As we headed for the entrance they kept looking around
to check out the scene. I don’t think that it was quite like
they’d imagined; they were probably thinking of guys in leather like
you’d see at Folsom. I threw an arm around each of them and said,
“Hey, you’ll be ok. I don’t think any of them bite. At
least not at first.” At this they each looked at me. I
laughed, “Guys, guys! Calm down, I’m just kidding! The
girls will protect you.” They both laughed at this, but I still
think that they were….out of sorts….to say the least.
Scott held the door open as the
girls, then Freddie, Charlie and myself went in. The place was
pretty crowded since it was Saturday night. As we headed
over to the bar I saw a friend of mine.
“Mike, how’s it goin’” he waved.
“Jack,” I said.
Then there was someone else calling
me. “Yo, Mikey, how it is, my man.”
“Paul, how’s it goin’, y’all doin’
alright?” Yeah, this was all I needed. More recognition.
“Shee-itt” he replied.
“Mike, what’s up baby,” this time
from Jill, who’s technically still Jack, but she’s almost there….if you
know what I mean.
“Well shugah,” I said in my southern
drawl, “ain’t you just lookin’ so fahhn.”
“Honey, forget about me, who’s the
hunk you’re with,” she said, pointing to Scott.
“I’m Scott,” he said, holding his
hand out to shake.
She took it and said, “Nice
“Now, now Jill, Scotty’s never been
here before,” I separated her hand from his, “let’s not scare him
off.” She laughed a throaty laugh and walked off.
We slowly made our way closer to the
bar when all of a sudden I felt myself being lifted into the air.
A really large bald guy grabbed me up and spun me around
playfully. “Mike,” he said in a deep gravelly voice, “where ya
been at, ho?”
“Ugg. Buster, put me
down. I can’t breathe,” I laughed.
“Sorry pal, maybe I should lay off
the beer for a while,” he laughed.
“Well, that would depend on who
you’re trying to impress,” I said to him. Turning a bit I said,
“Buster, this is my friend Scott. Scott, Buster.”
“Nice to meet you, Buster.”
“Scott. Y’all together?” he
asked, pointing between us.
“Well, we’re here together,” I said, emphasizing
on the word “here.”
Buster leaned over to Scott.
“Good luck man, Mikey here’s the most eligible guy around. No
one’s had a crack at him.” Great! Thanks Buster.
“Excuse me?” Scott said.
“Ignore him. Buster, I’ll see
“Alrighty.” Hey, so my
vocabulary is infectious. “You gonna be singin’ tonight, I take
“See ya Buster!” I had to get a
drink. We got to the bar and I felt Scott’s hands on my
shoulders, playfully massaging them.
“So, you only come here with friends
every once in a while,” he said.
“Yep,” I fibbed. “And those are
the only friends I have here.” I smiled at him weakly.
Just then the bartender came over,
recognized me and said, “Hey Mike, how’s it goin’. Still drinking
that Week at the Beach pussy-drink?” he asked smiling.
I looked over at Deanna, who was
laughing her ass off. I flipped her a bird and turned to
Scott. “Man, I’m tellin’ ya, it’s not what you think.”
Scott just grinned.
“How ya doin’ Stan,” I said flatly to
the bartender. “Y’all, this is Stan. You have to sweet talk
him a little if you want him to even spill a little bit of alcohol
into your drinks. Otherwise you might as well drink iced
tea.” I gave Stan an eat shit grin.
“So Mike, are these all the people
that you told me about; the ones on that show….what’s it called,” Stan
“The Reunion Show,” Scott said,
moving into my peripheral vision. I couldn’t look at him.
Not yet. “I’m Scott” he reached out to shake Stan’s hand.
“Nice to meet ya. You with him
or them?” he asked nodding to me.
“Stan, if we wanted to yenter I’d’ve
gone to a coffee klatch. We’re here to drink.” I gave him
my best smile, which would be worth maybe ten dollars.
“So Mike, any un-lucky guys tonight?”
I laughed out loud. “You are
such a shit. Gimme a Jack and Coke….and try to spill a little
Jack into the glass.”
“You want me to jack into your
glass?” he laughed.
“Ugg. Pig.” I rolled my
“So, Mikey,” Deanna said with a huge
I interrupted her, “Ok, so I know the
bartender too, dammit. Y’all quit bustin’ my balls.”
Everyone laughed at that.
“Hey Mike, ya gonna sing tonight?”
Stan asked. I just put my head down on the bar.
“Someone shoot me,” I mumbled.
Looking back up I said, “Stan. Our drinks?”
He shook his head as he laughed at
me, took our drink orders and went to fill them. I was just
thinking how great his ass looked when I felt Scott light-heartedly
slap me on the back. “Yep, just been here a few
times….Mikey. Looks like you don’t have to answer my question
from earlier this morning—oof!” I elbowed him in his ribs.
“Hey!” he said, laughing.
This got Deanna’s attention.
“Nothing, nothing,” I said putting my
hands over my ears. “I can’t hear you.
LA-LA-LA-LA-LA! Hey Stan, get me the sheet.”
“The sheet?” asked Deanna.
“Song list” I said. I turned to
the girls and asked them if any of them knew any B-52’s. Tracy
and Samantha said that they did. “Ok, you’re hired.” The
three of us put our heads together and picked a song. I went up
to the guy doing the karaoke and put in our request. After
heading back to the bar I ran into a few other guys I knew. I
chatted it up with them for a bit before excusing myself.
I got back to the bar and stood next
to Scott and Deanna. “Here’s your drink,” she said. I took
a drink of my Jack and Coke and nearly choked. This time Stan had
put plenty of Jack in there. It was more potent than I had
“Y’all want anything to eat?” Stan
asked us. Charlie and Freddie ordered some sort of appetizers,
but the rest of us just had drinks.
Finally about an hour later, and two
more Jack and Cokes, the dj called out for myself, Tracy and Samantha
come on up. Once he saw me approaching the stage he called out to
the audience “Ladies and Gentlemen, you’ll recognize our local hambone
Mike Logan comin’ on up here right now.” Oh shit. Thanks
man. “Give Mike what he likes and he’ll give you what you
want!” Tracy and Samantha looked over at me as a bunch of guys
started changing “Lo-gan, Lo-gan, Lo-gan.” I turned around to
look at Scott; he had a gorgeous smile and gave me a thumbs up. I
smiled and shook my head, raising my hands as if to say “what?”
As a kid growing up I imitated
everyone and everything that I heard. I think that’s one of the
reasons when I’m joking around with people or goofing off I use a
myriad of characters’ voices. So it should be no surprise that I
can sound exactly like Fred Schneider from the B-52’s, and the song of
choice for the night was “Love Shack.” The music started and the
three of us belted the song out, each of us having a great time.
The whole bar seemed to like it as well. We got a really good
round of applause when we were done, and all three of us were laughing
our asses off.
After I got back to the bar I asked
Scott, “So, what’d ya think?”
He laughed and said, “Man, y’all
sounded just like the B-52’s. You might give ‘em a run for their
I clapped him on the shoulder, simply
because I loved touching him whenever I could, and told him, “I doubt
it, but that’s what the liquor’s for – whiskey muscle, baby!”
Freddie, Charlie and Jessica were all
talking to Scott. Deanna came over to me as Stan handed me my
fourth Jack and Coke. Damn, those are good at knocking you on
your ass. Speaking of asses, I took a glance at Scott’s.
Hmmmmm. God, I really do love men. I’ll grant you that
there are hot women out there, and more and more women get hotter the
more I drink, but I just love looking at men.
“Put your eyes back in your head,”
I turned to her and laughed. I
was getting good and schnockered. “What can I say?” I said
laughing. “That there’s a really nice cushion,” pointing at his
She died laughing. “So what was
that question he asked you this morning? Anything I should know.”
“You know honey, if I were straight
I’d do you in a heartbeat.”
“You crazy damned thing,” she said,
which is something I’d heard a lot of these days. “I’m not sure
if that’s a compliment or not.”
“I don’t know. I’ve been
drinking so anything’s possible.”
“Oh really?” she asked inquisitively.
“Well, almost anything,” I corrected.
“Well what was the question,
moron?” The suspense was killing her.
I leaned over and slurred a bit, “He
asked me if you were gay.”
“If I was gay?” she looked confused.
“Oopsie! Liquor! No, he
asked ‘are you gay’ to me.” I told her.
“What did you say,” she asked.
“He didn’t say shit to me.
Dammit Mike.” He had this big smile on his face and stood there
holding his drink.
“Didn’t see you there, hoss! I
told you I’d keep ya in suspense, Scotty.” I smiled at him and
let my eyes travel across his torso. “And Mr. Dell, why aren’t
you hitched? Good lookin’ guy like you….”
He chuckled a bit. “Whatever,
Logan. Hey, I thought that nobody else called you that.”
“Nobody that matters calls me
that,” I said. I turned to Deanna and said, “Want another
“Yeah, what’cha gonna sing.”
I tossed back the rest of my drink
and said, “I’m in the mood for a little Patsy!” I made my way
carefully to the dj and put my name on the list. When I got back
to the bar I put my hand on Scott’s shoulder and said, teasingly, “Pal,
nobody says ‘Logan’ like you do.” I must have really had my guard
down or whatever because I was riding on a really good buzz now.
“I thought you only came here a few
times with friends. What else aren’t you telling me,” he said
with his drop-dead beautiful smile.
“Why don’t y’all give it up again for
Mike Logan. It looks like we’re going to get treated to a little
bit of Patsy Cline.” Saved by the dj! I winked and left the
group to head up to the stage. This time, having a little bit of
whiskey under my belt I sang “Walking After Midnight.” Everyone
always likes this song and I can actually do it pretty well. I
just throw a bit more of country twang into my voice and it works out
The crowd really liked that one and I
headed back to my place beside Scott. Hmmmm. That had a
nice ring to it. “Well, what’d you think?” I asked them.
“Dude you can really hump out a
tune,” Freddie said.
I busted out laughing at that.
“I’ve never quite heard it said like that, but thank you hoss!”
All of us kept on drinking and eating. By this point I needed
something in my stomach (mind your manners, y’all!) so I started eating
chips and whatever. “Heya Scotty boy! Why don’t you get
your ass up there and sang! (yes, I said ‘sang’)”
“I don’t think so.”
“Oh come on, do it
for….Deanna!” She laughed at this.
“Nope, not even for her,” he grinned.
“Chicken-shit!” I said with a laugh.
“You know Mike, you seem to take the
stage rather easy,” Charlie said.
“Oh now, it’s all because of my
friend Jack Daniels.” I laughed at that. I know y’all must
think that I laugh a lot….well, I do, but more so when I’ve been
drinking. I’m just the funniest person in the world!
Scott, Deanna and I were hanging
together most of the night. A few times when they’d take a break
on the karaoke they’d play some awesome dance music. Please, ever
hear bad dance music in a gay
bar? Me neither. I’d go out
with the chicks and we’d throw down. A couple of the guys would
come too, but for some reason wouldn’t dance with me. Go
At one point in the evening I
really, just, torqued and was ready to do anything. I had
the balls for it. I decided to answer Scott’s question from that
morning. Just one thing to do first. I went back to the dj
and got my name on the list for one more song. It took him a
while but he found it; then he told me that I’d be first up for the
next set which would be in a couple of minutes.
I headed back to everyone and ran
into Buster. He was really a hot daddy. He asked me a bit
about Scott and I just smiled and
said, “Hands off, pal.”
“Well, if you don’t take ‘im, I’ve
“You know, sadly, I don’t think we
pray at the same church! I think he’s straight.”
“Mike, all men are straight when
they’re horny.” He pinched my ass. “At least a part of them
is.” He laughed at his own joke as I moved away a bit. He
looked over my shoulder and said, “You know Mikey, something tells me
that he’s onto you.”
“Dear God, I wish he would be!”
He laughed again and said, “What I
mean to say is that….well, you may be in luck.” Leaning in closer
he said, “The dude hasn’t taken his eyes off of you.”
Huh. “Well that’s my cue
Lemme get back to the group.”
“Hey Mike, when are ya gonna give it
up already?” Yeah, he was drunk.
I thought about it and said, “As soon
as Scott asks.” I think I surprised myself, but then again I was
“YES!” Buster hollered and several
guys looked our way. I laughed and walked off to join the others.
“What was that about,” Scott asked
when I got back.
“Oh, just Buster. He keeps
thinking he’ll have a chance to nail me someday.” I have a
tendency to be blunt, if you haven’t noticed. Scott just laughed.
“By the way,” I said, “that question
you asked me?” Now I had his attention.
He nodded. I leaned in towards
him and, putting my arm around his shoulders, said in a quieter
voice: “The one that you asked if I’m gay.” I noticed that
his breathing was a bit quicker. Or maybe it was the booze.
“You said that it wouldn’t matter, right?” I was more talking
into the side of his head; he faced the bar. He nodded. I wanted to say
something coy like, ‘if I wasn’t before I am now that I’ve met you,’
but figured that was a dumb-ass line to lay on someone. Instead I
got my lips right up to his neck. Now he was definitely breathing
heavy. I said, “Scotty, pal, the answer is….yes.” I stood
back to watch his reaction. He took a deep breath and turned to
face me. “Well, you got your answer,” I said, raising my eyebrows
Time stopped. Oh fuck fuck
fucking fuck! Had I really told him? Apparently I did and
it was ok, because he broke out into this amazing smile.
But it was interrupted by the
dj: “One more time everybody, welcome Mike Logan up to the
stage.” I winked at him, again, and headed up to the stage.
“Hi y’all doin’!” I hollered. I
was greeted with whoops and hollers. “Y’all crazy bitches.
Hey, I’ll bet that you’ve noticed that the group I’m here with has been
followed around be a few cameras?” I pointed towards the bar,
Scott was just still smiling like a little boy. “Well, we’re on
some kind of television show, or we will be, where they put us in an
apartment and tape us for the five weeks leading up to our ten-year
high school reunion. Well y’all know how I like an audience.”
At this they started “Lo-gan, Lo-gan,
Logan”. I laughed; “Oh doggies, I tell you.”
“Well,” I continued, “I decided that
twenty seven years was long enough, and I called my folks and told them
that I’m gay.” This really got a round of applause. For
some reason gay guys are thrilled when other gay guys “come out.”
“They said that they already knew,”
which drew laughter from the bar. I looked over and I think that
Freddie and Charlie must’ve passed out. Scott still was smiling,
ear to ear. “I asked them ‘how did you know’ and they said
because my friends were girls and I liked Barbra Streisand.” More
laughter from the crowd.
“And so, this next song is a standard
that she sang, and I’d like to sing it. It’s called Taking A
Chance On Love.” When I said this I looked dead into Scott’s eyes.
I’m not a huge fan of my own voice,
especially when I sing a serious song, and I always have to focus on
something, or someone. Guess who I focused on. Well, it
The music started medium and easy
“Hear I go…again” at this
point I’m nervous.
“I hear those trumpets blow again
All aglow again
Taking a chance on love
(building a bit vocally now)
Here I come again,
I’m gonna make things hum again
Taking a chance on love
(building a bit more going into the
I walk around with a horseshoe,
In clover I lie.
And brother rabbit, of course,
You’d better kiss your feet….goodbye
(building with a key change)
All on the goal again
I’m riding for a fall again
I’m gonna give my all again!
Takin’ a chance….(quieter now) on
All gay guys love Streisand so the
applause was loud. And what is it about her anyhow? Oye,
who knows. I was done singing for the night and I walked back to
Freddie was the first to speak.
“Mike, you’re gay?” Everyone laughed.
Jessica said, “Uh, yeah Freddie, we
sort of picked up on that when everyone in the bar seemed to know him.”
“Wow,” he said.
This time I laughed. “Don’t
worry Freddie, I’ll kiss you before I nail you,” referring to when we
first met in the guys’ bathroom in the studio. He picked up on it
and had to laugh too.
I felt a presence behind me and
turned to see Scott standing there. God had made him so good
looking. I wanted to kiss him then but I wasn’t that drunk. “Well, what’d you
He waited a moment, then he put his
hand on my shoulder and said, “Does everybody want to go back to the
studio? I think I’ve had a really full evening.”
Deanna said, “Are you sure you don’t
just want Mike?” and she laughed hysterically.
“Drunk spaz,” I said.
“Nah, I’m kinda beat and I’m ready to
hit the hay,” he said back. We paid our tab and headed out the
door; Scott held it open for everyone and I was the last out. The
others were a bit ahead of us so there was one cameraman on us.
“You are a very brave man, Mike
Logan,” he said. “Braver than I am.”
“Nah, I bet you’re pretty brave.”
He stopped walking and I turned to
look at him. “I repeat, you’re braver
than I am,” this time he
said it a bit more exact. Then he raised an eyebrow and cocked
his head a bit.
I was drunk but if I understood him
right, and he was telling me what I think he was….”Well, maybe you’ll
be just as brave someday?” looking up at him.
He looked up and beyond me for a
second. Finally he said, “Someday. Maybe someday.”
“Works for me,” I said as we turned
to walk back to our cars. I grabbed his ass and said, “God Damn
that’s a great ass.”
He laughed and knocked my hand
away. “You’re such a nut!”
“Don’t you forget it.” God, I
was so friggin’ happy.
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“Taking A Chance On Love”
Re-released 10/29/1993 on Columbia CD
057379 (1CK57379 )
Barbra Streisand/The Third Album
All rights reserved, Columbia/Sony
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Alrighty guys. You like?