Date: Sun, 14 Aug 2011 07:26:59 -0700 (PDT) From: jim ford Subject: t.r.'s tale chapter eleven There is no sex in this chapter. Sorry about the delay a slight hospital stay for a week kept my muse at bay. Will post this today to make up for it. I offer that as a reason. I hate reading stories in which chapters are posted too far apart to even remember I was reading it. Do not send emails expressing sympathy and concern. Emails focused on the story are always welcomed. This paragraph is a reminder to me as well as encouragment to all of us. Try to be more accepting of our fellow glbtpoz. If we are fractured we are easier to minimalize. Let us remember the sooner we are a fully accepted part of humanity the sooner all hatred may be obliterated. Remember war is hate and hate, at all levels, is war. If we have hope, it is geometrically magnified when we are united. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bill rushed to his phone even as he dripped across the floor. Suddenly I was possessed of a significant resentment toward law enforcement as a concept. I could tell it was another accident that needed coverage. Damn! Can no one in this town drive after dark? Dejavue, all over again. I couldn't help but wonder how often this happened? I was beginning to think LBJ and I would have to hit a ditch after dark if this relationship is to advance. Then again maybe fate was saving my ass from a serious invasion. There was a vague promise to call if he finished up quickly enough. That didn't happen and the last thing I remember was rolling over and almost breaking my hardon. Apparently morning had been scheduled to start hours earlier than ever before and I didn't get the memo. My eyes burned, my head ached and my mouth tasted like the southern exposure of a north bound nag. I wondered if there was a party I attended and just didn't remember. I dragged myself out of bed and thought perhaps this was Sunday and I drank so much at the cook out that I backed out. I actually checked my cell phone before I dismissed that idea. Today was Friday. The fact that Bill hadn't called meant that he worked late and was probably sleeping. I grabbed aspirin and dressed for my run. I let routine carry me from the bedroom through the first half-mile. The pain had diminished to the point that I was sure it would be gone by the end of my run. Had I thought about it, I would have run in the other direction. Now, I could see Bach again awaiting Jed at the porch. I swear he tossed his head and whinnied as he saw me pass the drive. By the time Jed and Bach caught up, I was pain free and in an almost good mood. When I heard the hoofbeats approach I half-hoped Bach had thrown Jed and he and I could have a good run. The shifting gate settled them into my pace. "Morning, Tim." Jed said laconically. "Want to join me for breakfast, if I promise not to use chains and whips?" I would have liked to have pulled him from his horse and kicked his ass. Then I realized he was being as cordial as one might expect Jedidiah Compton to be. I ignored the invitation and asked, "So, what did you and Doc discuss yesterday?" "Tim, I think the thing I would like you to consider is that Gordon and I have patched things up. We intend to renew our friendship. I expect us to again be the best of friends. Since he told me what he told you about us, you should know we will not be renewing our intimacy." He released a heavy sigh and continued, "I want you to know I was not using you to get back with Doc. He is a fine man, but what we had ended when he refused to see me or even talk to me. I blame myself for that. I've moved on and so has Gordon. As for you and me..." At this he grinned and said, "Tim, I am attracted to you. That won't change. But..." This time the sigh seemed to take the wind from his sales. "Tim, I would be pleased and proud if I could consider you a friend. Can you put off the rest of your run this morning?" I suppose I was spring-loaded to the bad position where Jed was concerned. I stopped and almost as if in step Bach halted almost as I did. "Jed, I don't know what you have in mind, but..." Before I could finish, Jed extended his arm and slipped his boot from the stirrup. Any horseman, hell, anyone who ever saw an "Oatie" could understand the gesture. I was in a daze as I put my foot into the stirrup and he pulled me up behind him. He turned Bach and smoothly they slide into a gate that seemed at once to be effortless and rocking chair smooth. "Jed, I don't know what you have in mind, but I am not sure it's a good idea." "Be patient and try to trust me. I give you my word you will like what I have in mind." Nothing more was said until we were in front of Jed's porch. Once we both dismounted he simply handed me the reins. I was flabbergasted. Trusting me to drive a brand new, Bugati, Veyron could not have excited me more. I started to protest. "Look, Tim, I figure I owe you for... well, sexual harassment." Jed grinned, "I would almost like to serve as your attorney on that one... still, I don't like to lose." Stroking Bach's neck, Bill whispered something and Bach perked his ears. "Look Tim, take it easy. You'll be the seventh man to ride with Bach. I can tell you know about horseflesh, are you a rider?" "I competed in dressage in high school and college. I did steeple chase for three years. I would like to think I can ride." Jed almost stepped back in awe. I had to laugh. Even Bach seemed to pick up on the humor. He nudged Jed toward me. I took the reins and mounted. I felt Bach shudder. I was not sure why. I realized how well educated this animal was when I touched the rein with temerity. He moved out with grace and power. The last thing I heard was Jed calling, "No jumping". I hoped I could convince Bach not to. Before we reached the road, Bach and I were communicating. Even as we turned onto the road we began a half pass. The power, the beauty, the skill level was almost overwhelming. I had never ridden a horse with such a grand combination. The gates were achieved flawlessly. The road seemed to float beneath us or were we floating above the road. Just as Jed had done I asked Bach to gallop and he did. God, I never wanted to stop. Still when we slowed I could tell Bach and I both wanted more. A second half pass was beautiful I could tell it would have appeared perfectly straight. Out of sight of the house I couldn't restrain myself. Suffice it to say that Bach showed his training and the penultimate was a coplia, such power, such grace. This horse may never have competed in the arena and mores the shame. Before the joy ended my conscience began to nag me. We pirouetted and headed back. We found Jed sitting at a small table loaded with a breakfast buffet. When I dismounted, a man appeared almost from nowhere. Truth was I was too busy to notice anything but this amazing creature. When his trainer took the reins, Bach nudged me toward the porch and seemed to stroke my back. I think he was pleased with our ride and I couldn't help but wonder if the trainer or Jed were a match for Bach's obviously advanced dressage. The ride had mellowed me to the point that I was expressing my thanks in a heartfelt hug that Jed enthusiastically returned. "Tar, that hoss makes me look good. I could tell you two look as if you were cut from a single mold. It was a pleasure to watch. I just wish I had taken another mount and went along with you. If you don't let me go, I'm gonna think that you have changed your mind about us." An exaggerated wink and he stepped back. "Let's have some breakfast and you can tell me where you learned to ride." Still euphoric I began to tell Jed how an Olympic contender bought a ranch next to ours and she began to train horses. I worked as a stable boy and worked my way up to riding for her. I competed in dressage through high school and in college rode steeple chase. I always knew I would work with horses. I asked how he came to own Bach. He told about riding with a Prince in the Middle East who rolled a suv in the desert. The idiot had not used a seatbelt and had been ejected. Both legs were broken while Jed was unharmed. (seat belts save lives) His father was grateful and thus Bach was soon Jed's. The stables had other stallions, but Jed liked Bach best. The staff that came for med checks and semen collection was a small price to pay. When the Royal Family was through with Bach the agreement was he would be castrated. We talked about vasectomy and agreed that that would be the first choice. Still, that was more than a few years away. The breakfast, I was busy eating, was impressive not only in quantity but in quality. I noticed a man standing just inside the door surreptitiously watching our progress. Both of us have hearty appetites. Jed regaled me with tales of life in The Big Apple and London. He wasn't shy about explaining how he came to get involved in BDSM. Seems his lover in London introduced him slowly and he enjoyed it. He had always been a dominant personality and it just seemed a natural fit. His lover had seen him in a meeting, in which Jed had forcefully espoused his client's position. He lost but won a lover, who was within the top twenty for ascension to the throne. The partner began to beg Jed to mutilate his body to show that Jed owned him. Castration fantasies turned to a demand for the real thing. Jed's face took on a forlorn look and his eyes moistened. His lover found someone who did in fact castrate him and he almost bled to death. The family locked him away, explaining he was on "extended vacation". Jed explained that he enjoyed what he did and subs seemed to appreciate his efforts. While not all of his sex play was dom/sub, most was and certainly the most enjoyable aspects were played out in the dungeon. At first, I thought I was talking to some freak. I began to see the smug attitude was a test to see if we were sexually compatible. I guess no one introduces themselves by saying, "Oh, by the way, I'm a top, and you"? Jed had obviously explored the psychology of BDSM. Not that there was a lot of studies done on the subject. It was for the most part simply labeled "Taboo". Breakfast turned out to be the best meal I had enjoyed in a long time. Sometimes good conversation is better than sex... ok, maybe when you're not horny. But relaxing with Jed was actually fun. I found I could ease my guard and he didn't rush in to make advances. Jed was intelligent with a good sense of humor. He seemed the antithesis of the brute I had known and at times hated. We talked about Doc and then about Bill. "Tim, do you believe in gaydar?" I sensed he was taking a dominant tack with that more formal approach. I stiffened. "Relax, I'm no idiot. I know where I stand with you and with Gordon. Would you please answer the question?" "Jedidiah, I believe gaydar is just a heightened state of awareness. I believe gay men are trying to find other gay men, if not for sex, then for a diminished sense of isolation. So, yes, in that sense I believe in gaydar." "Good, then you can understand that the Dom/sub aspect exists on the same level as gaydar. When Gordon and I last got together I was not in tune with that concept. I talked him into something that he did out of love for me. I used and abused him, thinking he was having a good time." Seeing the doubtful look on my face Jed shrugged. "Is that shrug a courtroom tactic?" This brought a laugh and Jed explained, "Tim, you may find it hard to accept that some men process pain as pleasure. You obviously know that orgasm is french for "little death". It's not much of a stretch to understand that that which creates life being equated to death that in some men can feel pain as pleasure. Just like sometimes you see a man and know he is gay. I can sometimes see a man and am convinced that he is a sub or a Dom. Obviously, it is not infallible." "What did I do or say that gave you that impression?" "Now, I think it was more that I wanted you to be. I was horny; you are handsome and have a cute ass." I arched an eyebrow and interjected, "Flattery will get you nowhere Mr. Compton." A theatrical sigh and "I know, I know." "Tim, you haven't asked about Bill. I think I know why. He has asked you to do things to him that are a little kinky, hasn't he? Things that now seem to have a greater significance than before. Maybe he wants his balls or nipples roughed up. Maybe he likes his ass slapped when he is getting fucked." Jed looked down at the coffee he was stirring to mix the sugar. "I may have been wrong about you but I am sure about Bill. He may not know himself. I don't think it would take much to convince him, he is a natural sub just like he is a natural bottom. He has a strong desire to please his man. Are you that man?" I knew that was a rhetorical question. It was to make me think and, son-of-a-bitch, it did. I thought about everything we had done sexually, how even last night he had agreed to stay, though he was dead on his feet. Perhaps Bill and I needed to talk. I finished breakfast and expressed my gratitude with words this time. Jed insisted on driving back to the house. I noticed that his Land Rover looked good as new. We talked about the cookout and admitted we were both looking forward to the chance for us all to get together. I hit the shower and thought about what Jed had said about Bill. If Bill was a "natural sub" how would I, hell, how could I deal with that? I've seen the porn, but it never got me off. I liked what Bill and I have done. I liked it a lot. Do subs ride Harley's? I felt a little sick. Suddenly I was seeing Bill in all the positions that Doc had described. I knew I had to help David and Doc, otherwise I would confront Bill. Instead I got dressed and grabbed a beach towel and trunks and headed out. I turned down the winding drive and met Jed's Land Rover leaving. He seemed in a hurry. I wondered who might have pissed him off. Once I could see his face, he was smiling and waved. At David's "Boathouse", I saw David's, Doc's and two vehicles I didn't recognize. As I stepped out of LBJ a wonderful aroma assailed my senses and even after an award winning breakfast at Jed's, my mouth was watering. A bar b gue grill trailer had smoke wafting its way toward me. I actually thought about getting close enough to get a bite of that delicious smoke. I headed around back where reggae music was playing. I found Doc and Harry arranging tables and chairs. Long tables were to hold the food. An old fashioned galvanized bathtub held beer and alongside the beer was a wine chiller filled with white and red wine. Another bathtub held a variety of 'cokes" Pepsi, orange cokes and grape cokes and Coca-Cola [not according to the dictionary} :) soft drinks as well as iced sweet tea and Gatorade. There were chips and snacks but the pig would not be presented for another couple of hours. Julie had apparently taken charge. There were lifeguards at the pool as well as a crew for David's ski-boat. Clown balloons and face painting for the kids. In the kitchen every inch of counter top and table were supporting food for the multitudes. David was busy tearing lettuce into a large aluminum pan while Julie was stirring something looked disgusting and smelled like TexMex heaven... Chili! Some Texans think it is never a real celebration or gathering unless chili is served. When chili is served it always gets a discussion going about its merits or the lack there of. Juanita came in behind me with a note pad and asked if any one of us three was a Designated Driver. Julie spoke up and said she was for me and David, in case David wanted to go home with me. I gave her a look that shot daggers while David looked at me hopefully and blushed. His black hair and silver blue eyes gave him a handsome yet ethereal look. By way of an apology Julie turned to me and said, "Hey, hon com'ere and taste this. I've been tasting it for three days. Harry sneaks in more peppers when my back is turned, so be careful." She was suspending a spoon over a dishrag. I tasted as directed. My mouth felt the heat. It was more than warm but not unbearable. The flavor was earthy, spicy, and almost sweet. Chili is subjective. Mine never comes out the same twice in a row. Julie and Harry's was competition quality. As I turned to say hello to David I felt the heat at the top of my head. I knew if I ran my hand through my hair it would come out wet. That is a sign that the spices are just right. "Julie, it's prize winning good. Leave Harry alone, the spiciness is perfect and the flavor is real chili. You didn't use some spell on it, did you?' I was only half teasing. "Tar, I am not a witch. You stop saying that or they will be building a bonfire with my name on it, in town square." David had been watching, "I'm impressed, she had to give me water. Come to think of it, most of mine was mostly some kind of pepper." Julie ignored his comment and turned quickly to wash the spoon. I gave Julie a questioning look. To which she responded with, "He asked for water. If he asked for milk, I would have given him milk. Besides habanero will put lead in his pencil. You do want lead in his pencil, don't you Tar? Otherwise..." She left that hanging with a pregnant pause. David glanced from Julie to me and back to Julie. Just as he was about to say something, she cut him off by handing him a spoon and said, "Go for it." What man can resist a challenge, especially from a bossy redhead? David approached the pot and stared a moment, and turned away. He took a plastic cup and filled it half full of milk. Again he stepped to the stove and eyed the chili as if sizing up an opponent. I took the time to really look at him. He knew he was putting on a show to entertain us. He didn't mind playing the fool but being made a fool was not something he would tolerate. How did I know that? Because he sat the milk down and gathered a soup bowl and a ladle and stirred the chili. Ladling a good serving he began to eat with gusto. It was obvious he had been pulling Julie's leg. She had not warned him how spicy it was with his earlier taste. Watching for a reaction from David was a waste of time. He really enjoyed the chili. Julie just hmmphed and turned to the refrigerator where she retrieved more salad vegetables, "Here David, quit stuffing your face and finish making the salad. Folks will be here shortly and there is still lots to do." Turning to me she said, "Tar come give me a hand." "Julie" David had wolfed down the chili and was about to drink the milk. "Did you know it is the fat in milk that lifts the capsicum from your mouth? Skim milk..." At this he drained the glass. "Skim milk does nothing to quell the burning." "David, just git the salad made before I figure out how to put a spell on you. Tar let's check the deck. Harry and Doc should be through by now." I followed her onto the deck where she grabbed a beer for each of us and sat at a table and motioned me to take a seat. "Tar, Jed has gone to talk to Bill. I don't expect to see either one of them here again today. You need to realize the things Jed suspects about Bill are true. Don't blame Bill he didn't know any better himself. He's learning now. You'll be getting a call as soon as Jed convinces him. That should be within the hour." I glanced at my watch and saw she was telling me I was getting dumped within thirty-seven minutes. I didn't feel much of a reaction. Either I didn't believe her or it wasn't much of a surprise. "Tar, you and David are fated to be together. If you stop and think about that first meeting and think about how you felt as your eyes rose to meet his. Think and remember you blushed at the things you were thinking. He'd already been smitten as soon as he first saw you. Tar, he wasn't free to approach you. He was still married. David's divorce came through yesterday. "There's another complication. David's wife will deliver a baby boy next month. So, you two have to act fast. He'll need you to travel with him to Nebraska to bring home your son. His wife will have him during her vacation and David has agreed to give her unfettered access to their child. Oh, and one more thing. He will be named David Gordon Jantzen; ya'll will call him Didgy, then DG then Gordon." Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jerked my head around and found David's eyes glistening with... love. I jumped up and away. "What the Fuck!" David looked to Julie, "Will you excuse us. I need to talk to Tar." He was different... stronger. He voice held strength and conviction. I gulped for air. David was all man... not some mouse that seemed to shy away from me. He was invading my space and all my senses. His eyes were trying to read mine. His five o'clock shadow wrapped around a strong chin and framed a perfect nose and those creamy dreamy blue gray eyes. He was drop dead gorgeous. I realized he had been avoiding me since my arrival. If he had asked I would have been seeing him instead of Bill. I came to my senses and realized that David had let his chance slip away. "NO! Julie, don't go. I'm leaving. This is like some twilight zone. I figure Rod Serling is about to step out or maybe it's Candid Camera. This is bullshit! You think I am a thing to be passed from man to man in this town? I didn't come here for this shit. No offense David, but I like to choose my own partners." As I moved to step around David and head for the exit he cut off my escape and pulled me into his arms and kissed me. Not bad for a first kiss. In fact it was the best first kiss I'd ever experienced. I would say that it was in the top ten kisses I ever had... except I can't remember any of the other nine. There is something to be said for chemistry of the mouth. His mouth tasted sweet and spicy or was that the subtle smell of his cologne? I think time past... I'm just not sure. I know that... I wasn't sure of what I was feeling or how long the kiss lasted. I don't know if I breathed or held my breath. It seemed like the kiss had been going on forever as if history began to be acknowledged when we kissed. It ended too soon with the ringing of my phone. "He... hel... hello. Yes Bill, it's me." "I was... just... had to catch my breath." I'm sure he said something but I happened to glance at David who looked wide eyed as though I were his most ever wished for Christmas present. I'm sure he had no clue I was on the phone. Apparently I wasn't alone in my wonderment of that kiss. "No Bill, I think I do understand. Look, go ahead and check it out. We can still be friends. I know... me too. Bill, if you need my help anytime... I mean if it gets too rough or you need a place, I feel free in saying Doc would love to have you stay with us. It might be on the sofa, but just know you have friends." "Ok, you too. Yeah, me too. You take care." I had been dumped just like the wit... Julie said I would be. What's worse is after kissing David I am not sure how I felt. When you get dumped it's supposed to hurt, right? I didn't feel hurt. I felt... I felt... I didn't know what I felt yet. I was numb or in shock... I just didn't feel much. If Bill had been in a wreck I would have felt. If he was hurt I would have felt... but this... I just didn't know how to feel. I mean Jed told me and Julie told me and I think even Doc might have told me. David. He never said anything. Not a word. The whole town is talking and he played hush mouth. The phone was still in my hand when I looked up at those silver blue eyes and said, 'What the fuck is wrong with you. Are you gutless? If you want me to know something about how you feel about me, you need to 'speak for yourself, John." I became a little angry with myself. I hate it when full grown gay men gave me say shit like, 'you go girl' or 'bitch!' Now I had just put myself in Priscilla Mullen's role. Yeah, I know, earlier it was Scarlet O'Hara. I should have my ass kicked. "Now, if you'll step aside I'm leaving." David blinked like a man fighting for consciousness. Finally stumbling to get out of my way, he mumbled, "Please, don't go yet." He didn't grab my arm he just gently laid his hand upon my bicep. The electric tingle made my body shiver. It was as if my skin was an erogenous zone... which of course it is. How come I never thought about that before? When I opened my eyes I realized that David had released me and stepped back to allow me pass. Julie had gone either to the kitchen or left on her broom... I made a note to check the diner's janitor's closet. The phone rang again. It was Bill. He wanted to be reassured that I was ok with this. I could relate the blow by blow... Probably you have heard or used it before... "It's not you, it's me." In this case he was right. He wanted to explore what Jed offered. He knew it was sudden but Jed, well, Jed was a forceful man. He was not to be denied. I could hear the anticipation in his voice. What could I do? I wished them both well and hung up. I dropped down into the nearest chair. My head was spinning trying to find a point to start sorting out all the bullshit. I stared at the phone as if it were an alien object. Julie, Jed and Bill, their faces seemed to be riding a three horse carousel in my mind. I decided to dismiss Jed, then Julie, and then at last Bill was gone. That left me and David. At some point I realized a cold beer was suspended in front of my face. I took it and chugged about half. David sat beside me and said, "Whoa, cowboy. I need you to be sober when I tell you what I've got to say." I didn't look at him. I just took a more normal swallow. He began, "Tar; when you walked into the clinic I was dumbstruck. I saw you as you knelt to pet Bruno. I had never seen a more perfect man. I knew it was more than that you were handsome. I can honestly say that it was more than physical attraction. I knew you." He took a sip of his own beer while apparently collecting his thoughts, he continued, "I can see your pain and confusion. It's in your eyes, there's something else there too. Something that tells me you feel like I do... like nothing you will tell me about growing up and the guy you loved will be a surprise. Not cause I know, because I know you. Already I know you the way I know my favorite fishing hole. The way I know how cold the seat in my old Cherokee is going to be in mid-December. It's like the way I know from looking at the sky, how far off the rain is. I just know. I don't understand it. I want to know all about you, all your little quirks, every little detail... but I already know you. I think... I think I might..." Looking at the condensation and moving the moisture with his long index finger, he said softly, "I think, I might be in love with you." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So... maybe David is in love with Tar... close don't' count 'cept in horseshoes, hand grenades and nuclear weapons... New readers ask about other stories. Click on heading "Authors" then "prolific authors" and look for Jim Ford. "Unclaimed Hearts" is not listed there. It is in "Relationships". I will be reposting chapters of "Gordy comes Home". A great gay ficiton writer JW Smith is editing them for possible publication. So if you see Gordy pop to the head of the section relax. You have already read it. The story will not change. This story is a sequal of sorts to "Gordy". If you are able contribute cash to Nifty. Nifty stories have given me and I am sure many of you, happy endings. Nifty let me find a place where there were at least fictionalized guys like me. So thank you Nifty for years of acceptance, hope and happy endings.(double entendre intended)