Date: Sat, 14 Sep 2002 12:21:36 +0200
From: natan10@hotmail.com
Subject: We All Make Mistakes

The stories which I write are not always true stories. Actually, they
rarely are. They are entirely fictional. They grew out of a desire to put
down in words many "fantasy dreams" which I have had. I am bisexual,
married and white with two grown children. I love sex with a man and, in my
real world, it is no stranger to me. My stories are intended for mature
eyes only and are always based on male/male relationships. There is no
violence, S&M, bondage, etc. in my works. If you liked the story, let me
know. If you didn't like the story, I would also appreciate a note and an
explanation why ... otherwise, I won't get anywhere, will I? Feel very free
to write me anything you'd like. I look forward to hearing from anyone
interested in responding to these stories. All I am trying to achieve in my
writing is to make you feel good. Really good.

This particular story, however, is a true story. A very true story and
every detail is as it happened. I wrote this story for therapeutic reasons
and I hope that you find it interesting.

**************

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES by natan10@hotmail.com

This is a true story but the name of the innocent has been changed to
protect his rights rights and privacy.

One and a half years ago, I needed to reclaim some space to be used as a
studio so I evicted three tenants in a home that we own in the center of the
city amongst the old alleyways. I had also realized that having this space
would give me freedom to do as I pleased in the privacy of my space ... one
tenant had built a very large bed and bolted it to the walls. I had told my
wife that I was planning on taking it apart because I could use the space
from the bed for shelving. My wife suggested that I leave the bed knowing
that I enjoy lying down at times, relaxing to my own particular kind of
relaxing music. I'm also very sure that she knew what would go on from time
to time in my studio as she has known about my desire for men since before
we were even married and has never kicked me out of the house ... we are
married 26 years.

I knew that I would still have to find new tenants for the other two rooms.
The reason for the abovementioned eviction was that the tenants left us
with a large debt because they were not paying their rent. So quite
luckily, a friend decided that he would be the new "tenant", paying the
rent, but his workers would live in the rooms. One of the new tenants,
Samuel, is Black and it is about Samuel that I wish to write about.

Samuel has now been living in his room for a little over a year. I come to
my studio, which is not where I sleep or live, every day like clockwork
from early in the morning until mid-afternoon when I have to leave to go to
my regular paying job. I return to the studio every night after work to
relax and ... whatever.

I often use the studio for my own personal rendezvous with men, usually
giving them a  dynamite massage (advertised on the Internet bulletin board
on this country's local site).

Now the tenants -- Samuel and the other couple in the 2nd room -- were used
to seeing guys come into the apartment and disappear with me into my
studio. I'm sure that they knew exactly what was going on. They all come
from liberal-minded countries. And whenever I would walk out of my closed
space and pass them with my visitor, there was never any glances in my
direction nor talk about it later ... in fact, they never talked to me about
my comings and goings and they never disturbed me when my door was closed
and locked. In short, I was very lucky to have these tenants with their
open-minded attitude.

So over the span of the last year or so, I often, very often in fact, had
visitors ... and very often they were always new faces. I also never let on
to my tenants what I was doing. I also had no sexual desires toward any of
them.

Over the last two days, I have been especially horny. And I don't
understand why. In the meantime, yesterday morning, Samuel and I were
discussing a problem with the part of the roof of the house which is over
his room and cats keep coming in (this is a home with old-fashioned tiling
built over a simple plaster ceiling ... it is a one story home in an old
courtyard).

He was very anxious to find some extra work in order to pay his rent. I
told him that part of his rent would be cancelled if he simply fixed the
ceiling ... which he is good at. Now I have to add here that he is always so
kind and warm to me in a simple, neighborly fashion. Yesterday, he took me
in his arms and thanked me. This was the very first time that Samuel had
shown me any kind of physical contact. I also have to add that he had a few
beers in him already. I am aware of his drinking habits. In any case, for
some reason, I told him that if he did a good job, I'd give him a massage
(but I had no other intentions except for a plain body rub ... with nothing
sexual). I then left for work.

During the day, I kept fantasizing ... "Me give Samuel a massage? And he
knows definitely what I do in there [my studio] with my `visitors'? And
here I am offering him a massage?"

So I kept fantasizing and then began to get horny! I couldn't believe what
I was thinking. I don't think it's right that a landlord should have any
kind of relationship with his tenant(s) even if he, the landlord, is
sharing the apartment with his tenant(s).

My day at work finished and I made my way back to my studio ... had my shower
and got into my traditional shorts, without briefs, in order to surf the
net a bit and just relax in the style that I had grown accustomed to.
However, I offered Samuel a shot of my vodka (and I do believe that I was
doing this with the explicit purpose of getting us both a bit loose). I
suppose that I had every intention of giving him a massage and literally,
without thinking, what he looked like under those jeans that I see him in.

Samuel is average height, but very slim with very dark eyes, dark skin,
black hair ... he has a nice shaped butt ... but I actually had never really
looked at it the way I did last night upon returning to the studio.

I had a phone call from a friend from chat that wanted to come and meet me
in my studio for a massage, and obvious sex. This is a result of the
chatroom. I was cruising, looking for a quickie as I usually do every night
(but rarely happens!). I then said to myself (I was FUCKING horny!) that if
the guy didn't appeal to me, I'd give Samuel his massage.

My chat friend called. I went out into the alley to meet him. He was nice
looking. Appealing ... but I told him that we weren't meant for each other.

What was I doing? Why was I purposely turning down what could have been a
very hot 3/4 hour with another nice looking, clean guy? Was I really
interested in sex with Samuel?

I returned to the studio ... and told Samuel that I'd give him his massage
(and I'm fairly certain that after his living in the same apartment with me
and all my goings-on in my studio ... he knew exactly what was going to
happen). 

I told him that he had to shower and be super clean ... that he'd have to
wear only his underwear and that I would be wearing the same. I also told
him not to get embarrassed if he got sexually excited or to make me feel
embarrassed if for some reason I got sexually aroused.

He entered my studio and lay on the bed in his underwear, his black skin
shimmering as it always does. I had prepared some baby oil as a base with a
special relaxing oil mixed in which has a scent. I lit the candle (the room
was almost totally dark) and heated the oil a bit. I began to rub his
shoulders and his back ... his thighs ... I purposely did not rub inside his
thighs or go anywhere close to his sexual highlights.

I started then to rub him a little more closely to his genitals ... rubbing
his skin sensuously. I did not tell him to take his briefs off. He simply
leaned up a bit and took them off and told me to rub him all over. Well ... I
was already erect in any case and so I said to myself "what the fuck?" and
took my shorts off as well. We were now totally naked. I was standing on
the floor leaning over him rubbing his back. He then simply turned over and
I saw him for the first time. His cock was immense. You know what they say
about Blacks ... from the Internet pics that I've seen and now from Samuel ...
it's true. They are built like studs. (I'm getting horny again right now as
I'm writing this ... and I have just actually finished having a friend visit
me in the studio and we had a hot one-hour sucking and kissing and cumming
session!).

So to make this all as painless for me as possible (my friend suggested I
write this story in order to get it out of my system ...) I shall be brief
here because the very vivid details are not what is important in this
story. Yes, I began to rub his erect cock a bit. He started to rub my thigh
as I stood over him. I leaned over and began to lick his cockhead ... and
this continued. I then got totally on the bed and kneeled over him with my
knees next to his head and my head going down his belly ... I sucked. I
sucked. He did nothing. If he had begun to suck me then I may be feeling
totally different right now. But he wanted to fuck me. It's not my thing.
He kept asking me to let him fuck me. I refused. But in the meantime, I
continued to suck him. I had already begun to feel guilty.

We both got off the bed and I went into the shower and he came into the
shower with me and I just put cold water all over myself and Samuel. He
kept giggling. I got down on my knees and sucked him a bit while I jacked
myself off (I had not yet cum ... and that for me is the important thing in
all sex that I do). I sucked for about one minute while holding the shower
head over my head and I came.

I then got dressed ... Samuel went into his room ... and I left for home.

I felt immensely guilty. I felt sick to my stomach. I had betrayed myself
in a way.

This morning when I came into the apartment, Samuel was already up and gave
me a huge smile and said he loved it and wanted to do it again. I told him
no and simply went into my studio and shut my door. He then continued to
knock and tell me that he loved it. Then he actually offered to give me a
massage. I was wearing my shorts again (was this on purpose?) and I was
getting hard. I closed my door again.

Quite luckily, at this moment, a friend of mine (a suck buddy) just showed
up at my front door wanting to visit me and so I was saved from not having
to deal with Samuel again at that particular moment.

Will this be the end of it? Will I give Samuel a massage again?

I think that I had made a mistake giving him the massage in the first
place, even though I had that typical sexual satisfaction ... an orgasm. But
in the end, there really IS more to sex than just the "cumming".

I would love to hear comments from the readers if you have any. If you
should write to my email, please specify that it was the story about Samuel
that interests you. I would especially love to hear from people of any age
of any experience which they find is very similar to the one that I have
just related.


*************
I really hope you liked what you have read. If you would like to read more,
please write to me and tell me. I shall be happy to oblige if I am able.
natan10@hotmail.com

And don't be afraid to put your own fantasies and feelings down on paper.
It just happens to be wonderful therapy! If you like, you can write your
fantasy and send it off to me. I'd love to read it.